COMPLETELY WITH YOU
by Desktop Dragon
Summary: (Originally posted in 2017) How the quintet of Crossfire stories should have ended, I have taken the story back to the end of book three and written how I think Gideon & Eva's story should have ended.I DO NOT OWN THE CROSSFIRE SERIES OF BOOKS OR ITS CHARACTERS.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE: First published on the site in November 2017. **

**This story has been given a complete overhaul, hopefully all removing typo's and errors I missed the first time around, the main story remains intact and has not been altered other than to remove errors & omissions.**

**oooOOOooo**

**When book 4 eventually came out I was surprised that it didn't answer any of the questions previously raised in the first three books and actually only seemed to produce a whole lot more and appeared to be more of a recap on what had already happened. Having said that, I was keen to read book 5, as I like to finish what I have started and to find out the answers to the questions previously raised. **

**W****hen it did eventually appear and I did read it, to say that I was completely underwhelmed and totally disappointed would be an understatement. I was pretty shocked at how nothing whatsoever was really answered satisfactorily, the characterisation seemed to go to pot, and as it went on it really felt like someone else had written it.**

**None of the questions raised throughout the quintet of books appeared to be brought to a conclusion, with the exception of why Monica was the way she was, but I thought that the explanation given was beyond ridiculous and farfetched. It was also so full of plot holes, it raised even more questions than it answered, the biggest one being, if you have stolen someone's identity do you really go and give your daughter their surname? I would say the answer to that is no, so why did she give her daughter the name of a man and family she despised? Then there is the fact that we were told that Monica made a point of marrying rich and powerful men, she made a career out of being a trophy wife, which was said more than once through the series. Now here's the thing with that, rich and powerful men tend to attract publicity, a point which Ms Day pushed repeatedly for Gideon, but not it seems for Richard Stanton who I would assume would have also attracted his own substantial share of media interest considering the description she gave him as '**_**mega financier Richard Stanton who had the reputation of the Midas touch**_**' so with his position making him and his family familiar faces in the media, I would say again that, that is something which you wouldn't really want, if you are trying to keep a low profile because you have stolen someone's identity.**

**Other questions which weren't answered or were raised due to the fact the author seemed to forget what she had previously written, during this story were: Weren't we told repeatedly throughout the entire series that Gideon ****only**** had sexual encounters in the hotel room he kept? At one point in an earlier book Gideon himself clarified the fact he sometimes didn't even have sex, but just sexual contact, but it was ****always**** in the hotel room. When Eva accused him of having a quicky with Corinne in his office in book 2 he threw back at her that - wouldn't he have taken her to the hotel? So that being the case, then how the hell did a photograph come to light of him having a threesome in a public club? What the hell happened with Landon? if you are going to introduce a brand new character so late in the day, there has to be a damn good reason for it and it has to be leading to something big and important, and we were led to believe that there was going to be something huge happen, but then it didn't, it just fizzled out and in the end was simply dismissed. What about Tat/Cary, the baby and Trey? That was just pushed aside and dismissed in the end with no real conclusion. Why was Detective Graves so compassionate towards Eva and keen to protect Gideon even though she was pretty certain her hunch about him killing Nathan was correct? That was never fully explained or explored fully. Finally, the epilogue was completely pointless with no answers, and to have an epilogue which was set a few days after the end of the main story was (in my opinion) ridiculous.**

**To be completely fair though, it wasn't a total car crash, as some other concluding books to a series which I have previously read have been, there were good parts throughout both books 4 and 5. So, bearing all that in mind, my mind has been working for a while on what **_**should**_** have happened, how things should have gone down, how the unanswered questions should have been answered and how the series should have ended. I have recently read the whole quintet again and pinpointed the areas which (in my opinion) need addressing. I have taken the story back to the end of the third book and done my version of the ending from that point, as I think that is where it started to fall apart, and it could easily have been wrapped up with book 4. I will say though, that some parts will mirror the official books, because as I have already said, there were some good parts in both books 4 and 5, but this is how I think it 'should' have ended. Enjoy!**

**I do not own the Crossfire Series of books or its characters.**

**COMPLETELY WITH YOU**

CHAPTER ONE

We are standing near a plane emblazoned with the Cross Industries logo at a breezy airport, it is late in the evening and yet it's still almost unbearably hot, the only saving grace is the warm wind which is whipping around us. The air maybe warm but it does nothing to quell the chill emanating through me at this moment, and the ache which I am feeling in the pit of my stomach at the thought of boarding the plane and leaving behind the man who is standing next to me, even though it is only for a weekend.

The man, who is at this moment, gripping me tightly in his arms, seemingly unable to let me go. I look up into those amazingly brilliant blue eyes, and all I see radiating from them is sadness and fear, and it's killing me to see it. I know for a fact that Gideon doesn't want me to go to California without him, I know this because I feel the same, I don't want to go without him, but I have to, this is something I have to do.

He had insisted that we took one of his planes, rather than fly commercial and as we stand here at the airport, all I can think of is that I want him with me. I try and push those thoughts from my mind before they overwhelm me and I beg him to get on the plane with me because I know he will and for what I have to do, he really can't be there. I have explained to him why I wanted, no, why I needed to go with Cary, and why he shouldn't accompany us, I've explained to him how I am planning on telling Cary and possibly my father as well that we are now married, and both he and I know that is a conversation I have to have alone.

I've also told him how we want to see Dr Travis and how at the moment Cary is a complete mess and needs me. With everything that is going on in his life at the moment with Trey, Tatiana and the baby he is overwhelmed, and as a result he is struggling, and when Cary struggles he self-destructs, he needs me, I am his safe place, and if I am honest, I am harbouring an enormous sense of guilt at the fact I haven't been there for him recently, as much I should have been.

There is also the biggest thing I need to do while I am in California and that is going to confront Brett about this whole sex tape, video thing, and it is best Gideon isn't around for that one, especially after his reaction when I had told him of my plan to see Brett while I was in San Diego, he had immediately thought I would be running off with Brett or something, my mind fills with memories of that conversation last night...

_"Gideon," I say carefully._

"_Hmmm" he replies, he is relaxed and we are lying in the bed wrapped around each other, I know I am potentially spoiling this idyllic moment but I need to tell him._

"_Erm... when I am in San Diego, which as I have already told you is predominantly to spend time with Cary and try and get him stable again…" I pause._

_"And tell him we are married" Gideon puts in, gripping me tightly._

"_Yes, and telling him we are married," I agree._

_I pause again a moment and I touch his chest, "but there is something else I need to do" I say hesitantly._

_Gideon looks at me questioningly and waits patiently for me to explain, I start getting anxious as I know as soon as I mention my reason the response isn't going to be positive._

"_Spit it out Angel, tell me what you need to say," he says._

_I take a deep breath and swallow hard and look him straight in the eye, those beautiful astonishingly blue eyes and I feel my hand curling into a fist on his chest, "I have learnt that Six Ninths are going to be there doing a show, and I have arranged to see Brett to speak to him." _

_I stop and wait for the reaction, because I know for certain that there will be one._

_I feel him stiffen considerably at the mention of Six Ninths and I rub my hand up and down his strong arms to try and offer some sort of comfort._

"_You're telling me that is a problem," he says coldly._

_I turn to face him, and see his eyes have turned icy, but I keep his gaze as I shake my head and answer him._

_"No it's not a problem," I say firmly not wanting this to get out of hand._

_"Don't lie to me," he says sharply._

_This makes me angry, "Hey, I'm not lying to you, I am being open, honest and truthful with you, I need to know if Brett knew about that damn tape, I need to ask him face to face, so I can look him in the eye and find out for certain one way or the other" I say firmly. _

_Before he can reply to that I speak again. _

"_Just remember that I didn't have to tell you this Gideon, but I did because I don't want any more secrets between us" I add, as I try to grab the moral high ground._

_"I knew they were going to be there, I own their damn record label," he says coldly after a moment's silence, he looks at me again._

_"Will you tell him you are married?" he asks after another pause, his tone is almost challenging me to refuse and say no._

_I try not to bite and make this escalate any more than it already has and I simply nod, I'm still a little taken aback that he knew they were going to be there and was clearly waiting to see if I would tell him._

_"Of course I will, if it comes up" I say, but I regret saying that immediately as I see his eyes harden and he stiffens._

"_Meaning what exactly?" he spits._

_I start to lose patience with him, "Don't be like this, please Gideon. If Brett starts again about us being together I will tell him that we are married" I say trying desperately to sound reasonable and I wait for him to respond._

"_I don't like this, I don't want you seeing him," he says stubbornly._

_I sigh and rub my eyes, "Gideon, I have to, I have to know, you have nothing to worry about, I love you, I chose you, I married you," I say holding up my hand and waving my finger with the huge diamond ring sitting on it at him._

_He shakes his head, "There is something between you two, and it's something I can't put my finger on, what is it?" He asks._

"_Nothing!" I exclaim and then sigh, "I will admit it is a bit confusing for me, because how Brett is behaving now, well, he is behaving how I wanted him to back in the day when we were together and never did, and it's giving me a bit of a head trip, but it makes no difference, because I love you" I wait and see his face harden. _

_"Don't look at me like that," I say as he glares at me._

"_You'll have to forgive me, I am listening to my wife tell me that she's confused over another man" he hisses._

"_Jesus Christ Gideon! You are twisting my words, it's not like that," I say and I try to untangle myself to gain a bit of distance between us, but Gideon just holds on tighter and pulls me closer._

"_Does he turn you on Eva, is it his voice? Is it his tattoos?... His dick?" He hisses in my ear._

_"Stop this" I yell and push his arms to try and free myself._

_He relentlessly hangs on to me, "You said yourself, Eva, he treated you like shit, but just because he is now behaving how you wanted him to back then, does that make you forget, does he give you something you need that I'm not giving you?" he says._

_I pause in my attempt to struggle free and look at him, with those words he has told me the basic truth about why he is reacting the way he is and I look him in the eye and I see it, although his voice is hard, I can see the fear and vulnerability in his eyes, that he is trying desperately to hide, but instead of reassuring him, my anger gets the better of me._

_I stare at him in shock, "Have you completely lost your mind? Of course, he doesn't! Please don't be like this Gideon – you have nothing to worry about, I love you, so stop being like this," I say trying to keep myself calm so I can reassure him rather than just shout at him._

_"I'm being remarkably civilised considering how I am feeling at this moment," Gideon says and that does it, my temper snaps._

"_So tell me what you are feeling, do you think I am going to fall into his arms and forget all about you?" I say._

"_That is what you did at the concert, I caught you kissing him... do you remember that night because I do?!" he throws at me, I stare at him in shock at the way he threw that night back in my face._

_I shake my head "You bastard, why are you throwing that back at me again? You said you'd forgiven me, you said it was over!" _

_I glare at him and he does look a little uncomfortable now but the fact he isn't saying anything is making my anger rise even more. I poke my finger in his chest and get right in his face._

"_If you want to bring up that night again then fine, we will, for the record what you didn't see that night was the moment when I first saw Brett, do you know what I did when I first laid eyes on him?" I ask, Gideon stares at me clearly shocked at my outburst and he shakes his head._

"_I ran Gideon, I ran, not towards him, I tried to get away, I didn't want to see him, that is the reason why I didn't want to go backstage when we took Shawna and Arnoldo back there, that is why I wanted to go out to the car, because I didn't want to see Brett, so when I walked outside and there he was, I ran, but he caught me, and he kissed me, he kissed me Gideon, he made the first move, yes I admit that I kissed him back but it was only for a moment, I realised what I was doing and I pushed him away, and you saw me do that, you saw me push him away, as that was when you were charging at him," tears start to fall down my cheeks and I bat them away angrily._

_I take a deep breath and look him straight in the eye._

_"I'm sorry I hurt you before, and I hate that you are upset now, but I don't want him, I swear I don't want him and I need to do this, I need to face him and I need to ask him about the tape, I need to know, and I don't need you crucifying me for it." I wait, tears still falling down my cheeks._

_I watch as he visibly sags and starts stroking my arms._

_"Angel" he whispers, "please don't cry, I'm so sorry, I just… I just feel like I'm hanging on the edge of a cliff and my grip is slipping... my grip on you," he says._

"_So you tear at me to hold on, why don't you believe that I'm not going anywhere, I love you, I chose you, I married you, you have to trust me on this," I say..._

My mind comes back to the here and now, I think I had managed to convince him last night, or it could have been the early hours of this morning, so, he knows _why_ he shouldn't be there but it doesn't stop him needing to be there, and it also doesn't stop me wanting him with me either.

However, I also know this isn't healthy and we have to spend some time apart and this is a good example of one of those times where we both have to be strong and do what we need to do and trust each other to do the right thing.

I am pulled from my thoughts by the deep voice at my ear, "You will call me when you land," he demands, staring straight into my eyes, I nod and press a small kiss to his lips.

Immediately, I am pulled into a passionate embrace and Gideon takes over the kiss and he pulls me close, pressing my body flush against his. I wrap my arms around him letting him devour me and the kiss lingers for what seems like an eternity. We are both panting, gasping for breath when we finally break apart, and he rests his forehead against mine.

"I'm really not happy about this Angel," he says quietly.

I reach up and cup his jaw with my hand, I watch as he closes his eyes and leans into my touch, nuzzling against my hand. I marvel at the fact I am able to produce this sort of reaction from him and that I am capable of making him feel the way I do.

He opens his eyes and continues to speak, "I understand what you have to do and I know you have to do it, but I don't like the fact you will be the other side of the country from me for a whole weekend."

He grips me even more tightly, almost too tightly as he says this, giving me no doubt of just how much he resents this separation.

"I know, I'm not ecstatic about it either but I have to do this, and you have to trust me, I'm your wife, and I love you, I choose you every time," I say earnestly.

I watch his reaction as he thinks about what I have just said, and his eyes dart to my finger which displays the ring he gave me when we married on the beach in the Caribbean, a ring which to everyone else is an engagement ring, the symbol of an as yet unfulfilled promise of marriage, but it holds a far deeper significance to us, this ring is the physical evidence of the deeper, permanent grip Gideon has on me, and seeing him looking intently at it tells me, he is reassuring himself that he still has that unbreakable hold on me, that he isn't falling off that cliff he talked about last night, I lift his hand to my mouth and press a kiss to his wedding ring, wordlessly letting him know that he has me and that I am not going anywhere.

Eventually, he smiles and nods at me. I take this small gesture of acceptance, albeit a grudging one, as an opportunity to break away and head towards the steps of the plane, where Cary is leaning casually, waiting for me to join him, because if I don't do it now I will crumble and I won't go.

Gideon follows me and looks straight at Cary as we approach him.

"Take care of her" he demands sharply and he stares at Cary looking for his response.

I know Gideon isn't overly happy about my relationship with Cary, he has never said anything and he has even offered Cary the guest apartment adjacent to his fifth avenue penthouse so that when I move in with him, Cary will still be able to be a major part of my life, but I believe that he merely tolerates him, because he knows he is important to me, and for that I love him even more.

Cary wraps his arm around my shoulder, "Goes without saying" he says with a grin.

He turns to me, "Ready baby girl?"

I nod and with one last look at Gideon, we board the plane.

As we enter the plane I notice Raul sitting quietly in the corner, at first I am surprised to see him there, but then when I consider it I know that I should have realised Gideon wouldn't want me to be apart from him without some sort of link to him present to watch over me.

I quickly send a text to Gideon, letting him know I've seen Raul and that am not totally happy about it.

_**So you've also sent Raul to babysit me?**_

_**He is there to help protect you **_is the almost immediate response.

I shake my head,

_**Don't you trust me? **_ I retort.

His reply to that is immediate.

_**I do trust you but I need you safe, just pretend Raul isn't there.**_

I sigh, pick your battles Eva, I think to myself, and I respond with that in mind.

_**Ok, I love you x**_

A moment later Gideon's reply comes through, and I smile as I read it the single word which signifies so much.

_**Crossfire x**_

We are about an hour into the flight when I finally pluck up the courage to speak to Cary and tell him about Gideon and me being married. My reason for it is because I am sitting with my laptop creating a social media profile. For years, fear of Nathan finding me again had always made me shy away from such things, having the shroud of anonymity as protection against my former step-brother and rapist.

"What are you doing baby girl?" Cary asks, his words slurring a little from the travel sickness pills he had taken which were now clearly kicking in.

"Setting up a social media account, and deciding exactly what I want to share with the world," I say as I send Gideon a friend request.

I smile as almost immediately he responds, accepting the link and then I get a similar request from him stating he wants to announce that we are 'engaged' rather than just simply 'friends'.

I pause and then accept the notification before I look up and meet Cary's eyes. Which are wide and his eyebrows are raised.

"Big step," he says.

I nod in agreement, I know that now Nathan is gone I don't have anything to worry about but I still don't want my entire life spread out for everyone and anyone to see, so I methodically go through my brand new social media account and set reasonably strict privacy settings so that I still feel that I have control over what I reveal.

I take a deep breath, and look towards Cary once more, "Gideon and I are married" I say, blurting out the secret I have wanted to share with him since we married on the beach.

His head whips up and he stares at me incredulously, "WHAT?!" he snaps loudly.

I see Raul glance our way at the hostility in Cary's tone and he simply watches us carefully.

"I said Gideon and I are married, when we went to the Caribbean last weekend we eloped, Gideon had it all planned and we just did it," I say waiting for the next response.

"What the hell?" Cary splutters.

"I love him, it was inevitable" I state a little defensively.

"It's too damn soon, you both have a boatload of issues, and separately you are struggling but together..." he trails off and shakes his head.

"I don't disagree, I thought it was too soon as well but Gideon believes it will make us stronger in the long term" I pause.

Cary shakes his head again, "all you will do is destroy each other. What about his nightmares? What about your issues? What about his grand canyon sized mood swings? What about..."

"Ok, I get it" I snap as I cut him off, "thanks for the good wishes, good to know you are happy for us" I add sarcastically but I know Cary is right, everything he has just said is what I had been thinking over and over since I agreed to marry Gideon, but then I remember what else I thought, that failure isn't an option... even it destroys us in the process?

Cary closes his eyes and rolls over, I know this news hasn't been received well by the way his body is ramrod stiff on the sofa, but I don't say anything. I leave him alone and let him come to terms with it.

"When are you planning on announcing this?" Cary asks, his back still turned away from me.

"We're not, you are the only one who knows the truth, as far as everyone else and the world is concerned we are engaged and will marry at Christmas, in reality, that will be a vow renewal for us, but it will be the public spectacle demanded of someone so public as Gideon."

I stop and stare at my ring, before continuing, "It was perfect Cary, it was just us, no media, no-one who meant us ill will, just me and Gideon on a beach declaring our love and commitment to each other," I stop again waiting for Cary's response.

I hear Cary sigh deeply and he rolls over to face me, "I get that part, all Cross has to do is sneeze and it makes the evening news, but I still think it's far too soon, and you know why but..." he stops and shrugs and I smile at him.

"I'll still always be there for you Cary, this doesn't change anything between us" I state.

I see him consider this and he nods, "I know, and same goes for me baby girl."

I feel myself sag with relief, Cary isn't happy about this, but he accepts it and I think he knows deep down that Gideon makes me happy and that means more to me than anything.

"Are you going to tell Victor?" Cary asks.

I shake my head, "I don't know, I am going to play it by ear, maybe I will, maybe not" I wait for his response to this.

He nods, "Ok, for what it's worth, I think you should," he says and with that, he rolls over again and moments later I hear his breathing alter and deepen and then I hear steady snores which indicate that he has fallen asleep.

I pick up my phone and send a text to Gideon.

_**I've told Cary we are married.**_

His response is immediate.

_**Are you still friends?**_

I smile and quickly tap my reply.

_**He'll come around, he has reservations and worries but he hasn't disowned me**_

There is a slight delay before I receive a reply to that one, and when it does come I gasp and tears fill my eyes, as I read the words he is so reluctant to tell me because he insists that they are inadequate for the way he feels about me.

_**I love you so much x**_

My fingers are typing a response before I realise what I am doing.

_**I love you too with all my heart and I am missing you already x**_

His response to that one is typically Gideon,

_**Turn the plane around then and come home to me.**_

I smile as I read it and shake my head.

This is getting a little too heavy so I change the subject with my next text to him to lighten the mood.

_**I am building my social media profile and I'm so happy to be 'your friend' – is it sad that I'm as happy to be your friend as I am to be your wife?**_

I type this, in reference to our social media link which we've now established. His response is almost instant.

_**No, I am just as happy to be your lover as I am to be your husband, and I can't wait to announce the fact I am the latter to the world x**_


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

It feels like an eternity later when we land in California, but with the time difference, it is only 10:30pm in the evening, as we leave the plane.

I feel totally exhausted but I brighten and summon the energy I need as I see my dad waiting on the tarmac, with the floodlights illuminating the area it's as bright as day, even though the sun set a couple of hours ago, my breath catches at the sight of him, his strong straight body, muscular and slightly intimidating.

He is standing with his arms folded gazing intently at the plane and his mouth lifts into a smile as he sees me, I run down the steps towards him and he unfolds his arms holding them out to me as I run into them, he picks me up and swings me around.

"Hi, Daddy!" I squeal as I cling to him.

"Eva, sweetheart," he says gruffly as he holds me.

"Hi Victor," Cary says from behind me, I feel my father set me down and release me to greet Cary.

"Hello, Cary," he says. as he shakes Cary's hand warmly.

My dad's attention is grabbed by Raul who is standing a few feet away, just unobtrusively observing, I take a deep breath, and introduce him.

"Dad this is Raul, he works for Gideon," I pause at the frown which crosses my dad's forehead, he holds out his hand silently and Raul steps forward, simply nods an acknowledgement and shakes my dad's hand.

"How did you manage to park here?" I ask, looking at the prime spot my dad is parked in, and desperately trying to regain the happy atmosphere from a few moments previously.

He shrugs, "I have no idea, Cross called me and asked if I was meeting you when you landed, I said I was, and he told me you were coming in on his plane and that I was to meet you here, so he must have arranged it".

My dad opens the trunk of his car and throws our bags in. I watch as Raul climbs into an SUV parked up a few feet away which has obviously been left for him. It doesn't escape me that my dad is watching him as well. I wonder what he makes of all this, the private jets and bodyguards, it's so far removed from the life he knows, but all part of the package of being associated with Gideon Cross.

We climb into the car and head to my dad's house, and I notice that Raul is following us at a discreet distance and from the glances in the rear-view mirror my dad keeps making, he is also aware of Raul's presence.

As we are driving towards my father's house, I notice that he keeping glancing at my hand, I realise he has spotted my ring and this is confirmed when he finally speaks. I can see that he is carefully considering his words but his emotions are betrayed by his hands grip the steering wheel so tightly it is making his knuckles turn white.

"Is that an engagement ring?" he asks me tightly.

I immediately glance at Cary through the rear-view mirror.

"Erm..." I begin.

My father looks at me and I feel uncomfortable and as I shift in my seat, I feel my face flush furiously. He immediately pulls over and puts the car into park and turns towards me.

"Eva, this isn't a hard question, is that an engagement ring? I know that Cross was going to ask you at some point, because he asked me for my blessing, but from what he said and the assurances he gave me, I assumed it wouldn't be for a while, and yet here you are wearing that rock," he stops and waits for me to answer him, and he is giving me his 'cop look', the intimidating one with his eyebrows raised which never fails to make me feel guilty.

"Tell him baby girl," Cary mutters, and my father glances from me to Cary and back again, but he doesn't say anything, he just waits for me to tell him.

I take a deep breath, ok, here goes, "Erm… Last weekend, Gideon and I eloped, we got married in the Caribbean, and this is the ring Gideon gave me then," I say in a rush and then stop and wait for the reaction, my dad gasps in disbelief, but I continue before he has the chance to respond.

"We did it because we wanted something just for us, just me and Gideon, no press, no people who would be making trouble, no nothing, but I know it also meant leaving out the people closest to me, but it was the same for him, he had no family or friends there either, we wanted it to be just us, we are doing it again for everyone else, but we needed it to be just us, do you understand me?" I know I am rambling and repeating myself but I need to make it clear to him why we did it the way we did, and the way he is just staring at me is freaking me out a little.

I stare right back at my dad as I try and read his reaction and then I look at Cary, Cary looks at me and smiles, he is pleased I have told him, and he reaches towards me and pats my shoulder reassuringly, I look back towards my father, he looks destroyed, and that devastation quickly evolves into anger, the like I have never seen before.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" he bellows, and I shrink back into my seat.

"I have taken your name too, just as you always wanted, when I married Gideon, I became Eva Lauren Tramell Reyes Cross" I stammer, trying to give him something to latch on to, but at this moment he is just way too angry.

"You still get to give me away daddy, when we do it again," I whisper as I bravely reach out and touch his arm, but I go cold as he yanks his arm out of my reach.

"That is what I was working up to, that is what I was expecting after he approached me, but not yet, not for a long time yet, and he lied to me, he told me it wouldn't be yet and then as soon as I've gone, he just takes you! To just run off and just marry without saying anything, he just took you, this is... He lied to me and, I feel as though he has stolen something from me!" he spits bitterly and he slams his hand down on the steering wheel.

I can't help it, tears stream down my face at his words, and the fact he pulled away from me, my dad has _never_ pulled away from me, I don't hear anything apart from a buzzing sound in my head as he continues to rant, I vaguely hear Cary trying to calm him down. I want to speak to tell him it wasn't like that, and to try and defend Gideon, but no words will come out, and so I just sit and sob.

As if on cue, my phone rings and cuts through the fog I am feeling, Gideon's name appears on the screen, and with shaking hands I answer.

"Hi... can I call you back, now is not a good time," I stammer between sobs.

"Eva? Angel what's wrong, what has happened? You will tell me now," I hear the anxiety in Gideon's tone as soon as he speaks, but also something darker, something more dangerous, he wants to know what has upset me and he wants to fix it, he wants to eradicate whatever it is that has made me unhappy.

"Gideon please, not now, I promise I will call you," I beg.

"No! Answer me," he snaps.

My dad's head whips around and he stares angrily at my phone, then he looks up at me as he points at it.

"Is that _him_ now?" he asks, his voice thick with emotion and anger.

I nod at him, unable to say anything, my anxiety now totally out of control as I am stuck in the middle of two of the three men I love most in the world.

My father wordlessly holds out his hand for my phone, he is radiating the full authority of the police officer he is, and silently I place it into his outstretched hand. I watch as he glances at the screen and then he presses the speaker button so I can hear the full conversation.

As he presses it, Gideon's clipped shout fills the car.

"GOD DAMN IT EVA, TALK TO ME,"

"Shut the hell up Cross, you are on speaker," my father spits derisively, there is immediate silence and I wait, I'm holding my breath at what is going to happen next, I glance once more at Cary who is watching my father intently.

"You and I need to talk," my father adds coldly.

"Victor" Gideon says, his tone now businesslike, I marvel at the way he can switch gears in a heartbeat, "I take it that Eva has told you that we have married," he says confidently.

"She has" my father spits, and then he embarks on a vicious rant telling Gideon what he thinks of him and our decision.

"Victor, STOP" Gideon says as my father pauses for breath, my father is so shocked by the tone that he is stunned into silence and Gideon quickly takes charge of the conversation.

"First of all, I understand totally how upset you are and I am not belittling that or dismissing you but first and most importantly, I _need_ to speak to my wife, Eva, Angel, are you there, can you hear me?" he says, his tone softening considerably, I nod forgetting that he can't see me.

I try and pull myself together, "I'm right here, I hear you" I sob.

"Oh Angel" he groans, "Please don't cry, it shreds me when you cry."

There is a brief silence and when he speaks again the low intimate voice full of love is gone and he speaks with the no nonsense business tone he previously used.

"Victor, I understand your reservations and I accept that you have every right to feel the way you do about what we did, but I will not have you taking your anger and resentment out on Eva, I will not have my wife feeling like she has to choose between her father and her husband, or feeling ashamed about her decision to marry me, so, you want someone to take it out on, you take it out on me, I was the one who arranged for us to elope," he stops speaking and waits.

This seems to register with my father and his gaze softens as he looks at me sobbing quietly, and he reaches for me with his free hand and squeezes my hand. The relief I feel at that small gesture is immense, my dad doesn't hate me.

"You have a sister?" my father states in a slightly less confrontational way.

"You know I do, you've met her," Gideon replies curtly.

"How would you feel if your sister eloped with a man you knew nothing about, who she had known for about five minutes, and who you had serious reservations about, who you didn't believe was good enough for her?" he says coldly and I gasp not only at the words, but also the icy tone.

"Daddy, no!" I blurt out, but my father simply holds up his hand to silence me.

Gideon's response is immediate "I know that I would probably be behaving in exactly the same way as you are right now, but I wouldn't be taking it out on my sister, I would be speaking to the man that she married," he says.

My father's eyebrows rise in surprise at that.

"So, you are willing to hear me out and answer my questions, face to face?" my father asks.

"Absolutely, whatever you need, if that is what you need from me, whenever, wherever," he states calmly.

I realise that this is the just excuse he needed to fly out to California and join me, although part of me doesn't want him to, another part of me desperately wants him here with me.

"Alright," my dad says, pacified and also somewhat taken aback by Gideon's declaration.

"If you truly mean that then prove it to me, fly out and come here and see me face to face, tomorrow," he says, throwing down the gauntlet to Gideon to see if he accepts it.

"Consider it done," Gideon says confidently.

I see the surprise on my father's face at Gideon's immediate agreement, "Until tomorrow then" my father says.

"Goodnight Victor" Gideon says, and there is a silence as my father wordlessly hands me my phone. I take the call off speaker and put the phone to my ear.

"Gideon," I say quietly, "you are no longer on speaker," I add.

"Angel, are you ok? I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but I won't have you feeling ashamed for marrying me" he whispers to me earnestly.

"I don't," I say, "I love you." I add.

I hear the sharp inhalation "Crossfire" he whispers back, and I close my eyes.

"Why did you call me?" I ask a moment later, remembering he initially called me.

"Raul text me to let me know you were on your way to your father's house, but that the car had suddenly pulled over and stopped, I was worried, and you said you would call when you landed and I just wanted to check you were ok, and I wanted to hear your voice, but it's a good job I called when I did," he says, and I smile.

"Thank you," I say, I glance at my dad who is sitting stony faced, gripping the steering wheel.

"Look I have to go now, I will see you tomorrow then," I say.

"You will," he says confidently, We say our goodbyes and I hang up.

"He loves you?" my father asks simply and I nod my head firmly.

"Yes, he does, but it's more than that, it's like I am necessary to him, and it is the same for me as well," I state.

"Does your mother know... that you've married him?" he asks a moment later.

I shake my head, "No, things haven't been great between us lately, and she might take it the wrong way, she might think that I left her out on purpose".

My father nods, "you do realise that I have to tell her, because I won't keep something like this from her," he says.

I take in a sharp breath, "Will you at least give me the chance to tell her myself first?" I ask.

He considers this and nods, "Alright, you will call her when we get back to the house, to let her know you have arrived safely, and you will tell her then," he says.

I sigh, resigned to the fact I have to do this and silently nod.

The remaining ride to the house is silent and slightly uncomfortable, there is an atmosphere now which wasn't there before and it is bothering me a little.

When we get back, we all troop into the small sitting room and I pull my phone from my pocket, I glance at my father and at Cary who are both watching me and then steeling myself for the conversation to come I call my mother.

"Hi mom," I say brightly as she answers.

"Eva honey, it's very late, is something wrong?" she says.

I glance at my watch and cringe as I mentally add on the time difference between San Diego and New York.

I quickly jump in and tell her before I chicken out, "I'm sorry for calling so late, I am at dads now, I have something to tell you, something I should have told you before I left for California, but I am telling you now... Gideon and I are married."

I wait... and wait, eventually I speak because I think the call has dropped, "are you there mom?" I ask.

"I'm here," she says.

"Say something" I prompt.

"What do you want me to say? I saw you were wearing a ring at the gala, and I waited for you to tell me it's significance but you didn't, and I wondered, oh Eva have we drifted so far apart that you couldn't tell me face to face, that you had to put a whole country between us before you told me?" she is clearly upset and it is destroying me.

"No mom, it's not like that, we weren't going to tell anyone, we eloped, it was just for us, nobody was meant to know, but we are having a public wedding for family and friends in December, so you won't miss out," I say.

"So that conversation we had last night, when you told me he had asked your father, and you said you were '_thinking about'_ December, you and Gideon already had that planned?"

"Yes," I say, I wait as another silence spreads out between us.

When my mother speaks again it's with a hard incredulous tone, "You married Gideon Cross without a pre-nup?" she asks.

I roll my eyes, I should have guessed, trust my mother to zero in on the financials.

"There was a pre-nup" I say stiffly.

"And you signed without seeking advice, I taught you better than that," she shrieks.

"Mom, please, a five year old would have understood the terms, as they couldn't have been any clearer or better," I say.

"There are always better terms Eva," she states with a hint of exasperation, which immediately makes my temper rise.

"Whatever, look I've told you, I hope you can be happy for us, we love each other and as I've told you before, money isn't everything," I snap, losing patience with her.

"Well, as I said to you last night, how can I pull together a wedding by December?" she says after a moment as she suddenly seems to register everything else I've told her.

I smile and shake my head, "Mom, there is no need to go over the top, and you don't _have_ to do anything, I can organise it," I pause and wait, for a response, when it doesn't come and all I hear is a small sob and I immediately regret what I said.

"Look, mom, I have to go," I say in a softer voice.

"Yes, alright, well thank you for telling me," she says, "and despite everything, I am very happy for you, for both of you," she says.

"Thanks mom" I say and I blink away the tears which are once again threatening to fall.

I hang up and look at my father. "There, done," I say, as I throw my phone down beside me and I scrub my face with my hands.

Cary comes to sit with me and he grips my hand in a silent show of support.

My father nods, "I will call your mother and talk to her tomorrow," he says and with that, he just turns away and leaves us alone.

I look at Cary, who has just watched him go, and then he turns his attention to me with a look of sympathy in his eyes.

"Wow," he says eventually.

I snort at his response, and rest my head on his shoulder, "do you hate me for marrying Gideon?" I ask.

Cary wraps his arm around me, "I don't hate you baby girl, and neither does Victor, and whatever your mom says, I know she is secretly overjoyed that you now have a rich husband, and to be fair you don't get much richer than Cross! We are all just a little concerned because it's so soon... but hey, I just want you to be happy, and if the marathon man does it for you then... well," he stops and shrugs.

I giggle, "I'm glad you are happy with me being married," I say, Cary wraps his arms around me and kisses my head.

"I wouldn't go that far baby girl, not yet anyway, I'll come around to happy eventually when you prove me wrong and I see it all working out for you, but all I ever want is for you to be happy and as I have just said, the marathon man seems to do it for you, so as long as he treats you right I won't have to kick his ass, but give me time to get used to it but if that's what you want and you are happy then, I'm cool, so for now, I accept it, I'm not happy about it but I accept it, and that's all I am capable of at the moment."

I nod accepting what he is saying I am willing to take that as I know Cary will come around eventually, and I hug him tightly, "thanks, Cary" I say.

I feel him smile, "now let's hit the hay so we can we be up early and go and check out the neighbourhood," he says.

I know Cary is desperate to go and see Dr Travis so silently agree, although I doubt I will get much sleep tonight, I take his hand and nod.

"Lead on" I say.

**oooOOOooo**

The next morning we are sitting sipping coffee which doesn't really taste very nice and I am trying to shake off the sluggishness I still feel despite the surprisingly good night sleep I had, when my dad appears in his uniform, he looks at us and smiles. The awkwardness that was lingering between us disappears in that instant.

"I have to go to work now, so see you guys later tonight for dinner?" he asks, I stand and hug my dad tightly.

"Sure, say sevenish? Be safe daddy" I say, feeling happier that there isn't any lingering resentment over my revelation.

He nods "Always" he replies and with that, he is gone.

A short while later Cary and I head out to see Dr Travis, as we get closer I feel Cary getting tenser, and when we arrive we pause a moment to take in the familiar building. We take a deep breath and walk through the comfortingly recognisable doors.

I glance around, there are a group of young men playing a game of basketball and a few girls watching them, they look around as we walk in, few of them are familiar, they immediately recognise us and wave and call out to us, which attracts the attention of an older tall sandy-haired man standing with them.

"Eva, Cary how wonderful to see you both, I wasn't expecting you till later," Dr Travis says as he turns and sees us.

"Dr Travis" I squeal and run to him, he hugs me tightly and then Cary saunters over and shakes his hand warmly before Dr Travis pulls him into a warm hug. I watch as Cary's eyes close as Dr Travis hugs him, he is the closest thing Cary has to a father figure.

"So, tell me what brings you both back here?" Dr Travis says looking closely at both Cary and me, as he pulls away from Cary. He knew we were coming and he also knows something is obviously amiss, but he needs us to open up and tell him in our own way and in our own time, this is what I love about him, he gets us.

"We are in town visiting Eva's dad and thought we'd drop by," Cary says breezily.

Dr Travis looks at him and raises his eyebrows. "Don't bullshit me Cary, remember I spoke to you on the phone and this is me you are talking to, I get pissed if you lie to me, or try and fob me off."

He whistles to the guys playing basketball and gestures towards the bin full of spare basketballs. One of the guys pulls a ball out and throws it and Dr Travis catches it deftly and raises his eyebrows in question at Cary waiting for him to follow his cue.

Cary nods and they move away from the group and start playing a game of one on one at the opposite end of the court. Dr Travis learnt early on that to get Cary to open up he needed to keep him active and occupied and as I watch I see Cary starting to talk.

"I always knew you two would end up together," a young girl beside me says as she eyes the ring on my finger.

I turn and see her and I follow her gaze to my ring and instinctively I place my other hand over the ring and shake my head.

"Yes, I am engaged to be married, but not to Cary," I clarify, "my fiancé is in New York" I add, although I am certain he is probably on his way here as we speak.

"Oh," she says surprised by my declaration, I try and ignore her as I watch Cary having his unconventional therapy session with Dr Travis.

Suddenly I see Cary's shoulders sag and to my amazement he breaks down completely, and he drops the ball and falls to his knees sobbing, I rush to him and wrap my arms around him and Dr Travis quickly leads us away to a small private office, I look at the battered old sofa held together with duct tape and covered in signatures of former patients. This is our safe place, we knew anything said here would be confidential and we could just let it all out.

I look at the sofa and remember breaking down here and telling Dr Travis about the abuse I suffered at Nathan's hands, and the out of control behaviour I had displayed as a result, which had led my father to send me here for help, and how Dr Travis helped me put myself back together. I turn my attention back to Cary.

"Oh god, I've fucked up so bad," he sobs.

Dr Travis reaches over and touches Cary's shoulder, "Take your time Cary and tell me everything from the beginning and however you want to, ok, do you want Eva to stay or go?"

Cary nods and sniffs loudly, "stay" he pleads looking at me, I nod and then reach for a box of tissues and hand it to him and he smiles gratefully. He blows his nose and takes a deep breath and starts to talk.

"I met someone, Trey he is wonderful, kind, caring and he is nothing like anyone I have ever met before, he is a decent guy" he pauses, and I know what he really means, what he is not saying is obvious – Trey is too good for him, which is total rubbish, as I gear myself up to say so, Cary starts to speak again.

"He is gay and I think he wants me to be gay too, but you know me I'm bi, I love men but I also love the ladies too" he stops again and shrugs, "and you know what I'm like, I couldn't help myself and I started seeing Tatiana as well, she is a model, I work with her I met her through the agency I am signed with," he explains and then he pauses, and Dr Travis takes the opportunity to jump in at this point.

"You said Trey was wonderful, kind and caring, what about Tatiana?" he asks.

Cary snorts loudly and shakes his head "Tat is a complete bitch – and that's on a good day!" he says wryly.

I let out a laugh of my own, at that assessment as I couldn't agree more and Dr Travis and Cary glance towards me.

"Sorry" I mutter.

Cary smiles and continues, "she is probably as fucked up as I am, but because she is, she gets me, she expects nothing and she is just so... well you know, easy, it's not hard work with her, I can just switch my mind off and bang her." he stops and puts his head down, his expression darkens and he looks desolate.

"But all that changed, when she told me she was pregnant and its mine," he looks pleadingly at Dr Travis.

"How does that make you feel Cary?" Dr Travis asks gently.

"I have no idea how to feel about it" Cary says with a shrug,

"Have you talked about what both of you are going do?" Dr Travis asks, prompting Cary to continue.

I watch as he raises his head, tears flooding his eyes and it's as if a dam has broken and he starts to talk, everything comes tumbling out.

"She said she doesn't even know if she is going to keep it, I don't know what she is going to do I asked her and she doesn't seem to care, and that just takes me back to my mom and the way she behaved and I now I am so confused, just knowing about this even though I don't even know for sure if the baby is mine, is making me look hard at my life and it's scaring me" he pauses and then he looks at me.

"Then Eva is getting her shit together with Cross, and I feel I am losing her, she says I will still be a big part of their lives and that I am not going anywhere, but she won't want me hanging around, and then if Trey finds out I'm going to be a dad, aside from Eva, he is the best fucking thing in my life I love the dude, but if I tell him I'm having a kid with Tat he will leave me, it's all pretty shaky between us and then to top things off completely, I really fucked up a few weeks ago" he pauses again and I see the shame fill his face, and he meets my gaze and looks at me apologetically.

"I organised a gang bang, and Eva walked in on it and she was pissed and rightly so, no-one wants to walk into their home and see that, but we talked it through, but I have to stop behaving like this, what kind of dad can I be if I behave like that? I don't know how and I am so confused and just... just seem to sabotage everything that is good in my life and I keep fucking up and I... I don't know what to do" he stops.

Dr Travis and I sit with our mouths open at Cary's rambling outburst, he sighs again and looks up at us.

"Well..." Dr Travis starts, he shuffles closer and leans towards Cary.

"One issue at a time, first of all, Trey, from what you have said you appear to have deep, meaningful feelings for him and you feel this is the real thing?" he asks and Cary nods.

"But you also have feelings for this girl Tatiana?" Cary hesitates and then shrugs.

"No, not feelings as such, she was just there as a workout and a bit of recreation to start with, but now, it's complicated now that she is possibly having my kid, I'm fond of her but I'm not in love with her or anything, as I say the kid part is quite cool but I would never have chosen her as my baby's mama," Cary stares at Dr Travis.

"I still don't know how it happened I always suit up, I'm religious about it, always have been."

"And you are not sure the baby is even yours so it's not a monogamous relationship on her part either?" Dr Travis asks.

"No, I'm not, sure it's mine that is, and I don't know if she is seeing anyone else apart from me and if she goes through with it I will demand a paternity test but she is still deciding at the moment."

Something which has been on my mind for a while, occurs to me again and after my conversation with her when she was wandering around my house butt naked, I can't help myself but voice the concerns, and building hunch I have regarding this whole situation, and the cynicism which has been growing in my mind, I lean forward and touch Cary's arm.

"Are you sure she is even really pregnant and not just trying to trap you somehow?" I ask, I regret saying anything as soon as the words have left my mouth, as Cary gapes at me and Dr Travis looks at me questioningly.

"What makes you suggest that Eva?" Dr Travis asks carefully.

I sigh and immediately I feel uncomfortable, Cary reaches for me and looks at me questioningly.

"What do you know baby girl? You have to tell me," he says urgently.

I look up at him and try and work out how I tell him I don't like her, I don't trust her and I think she is taking him for a ride and trying to trap him, how I am going to explain the conversation I had with her when she was wandering around naked, which sent up large red flags and also how she behaves when we are altogether wanting to keep Cary to herself and how she behaved the night Trey caught her, how she seems to revel in the drama she causes and how she flirts and practically throws herself at Gideon at every possible opportunity when she thinks Cary isn't looking, how do I tell him all that without sounding like some kind of jealous raving bitch?

"Look, several things have raised red flags for me and made me doubt her sincerity," I begin.

"Just tell me," Cary says.

So I do, I go through everything and voice my opinion that I really don't think she is even pregnant, and she is just trying to cause trouble and to separate him from Trey and from me.

"I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want her to accuse me causing trouble, and I didn't want to put you in the middle and make you have to choose, I love you Cary you know that don't you, I just want what's best for you, and I'm not saying this just to be a bitch, I think you deserve more than her, and I honestly think she is playing games with you and trying to trap you, in some way," I say.

Cary looks at me and nods, "yeah I know" he says in a resigned tone which takes me completely by surprise. My head whips up and I search his face and I see… resignation, he nods and begins to talk.

"If I was to be totally honest, I have to admit she has made me feel something similar for a while, but I dismissed my feelings as me being an asshole over the fact she is pregnant, but I noticed that she always tries to separate me from you guys and she talks about you as if you are the enemy, I tell her you are my best friend in the world and nothing will ever change that, but she doesn't get it that I don't want to bang you, but to say she is pregnant, how would she get out of that, I mean being pregnant means a baby at the end of it... what, I mean... how?" he stops looking at me a confused expression now filling his face.

I snort "Very easily, she has three choices, one she '_loses_' it," I say putting my fingers up in quote marks around the word loses, "two, she decides not to go ahead with it and three she tries her damnedest to get herself pregnant," Cary stares at me in horror.

"Oh my god, she said now she is pregnant there is no point in me suiting up anymore, I didn't think anything of it at the time, because I believed her."

"Cary listen to me, how many times have you had sex with her with no protection?" I ask.

"Not many... A few times," he mutters, he looks thunderstruck.

Dr Travis looks at me and then at Cary, "How does this make you feel Cary?" he asks eventually.

Cary sighs, "used," he says quietly.

I reach over and grasp his hand, an idea forming in my mind, "Do you want me to ask Gideon to look into it for you, to find out for sure, one way or another?" I ask.

Cary looks up at me, "Would he do that?" he asks.

I nod, "He would, well he would know someone who could find out for you," I say confidently.

Cary smiles, "I would, thank you" he replies.

Dr Travis watches us, "Eva, who is Gideon?" he asks.

"Gideon Cross is... is my... my..." I stop not sure what to say and I look at my ring.

Cary wraps his arm around me, and for the first time since we came into this room, a small smile appears.

"Gideon, is _the_ Gideon Cross, the gazillionaire who owns New York City and has had his world completely rocked by Eva, and who has recently asked her to marry him" he says and looks at me, everything he has said is the truth, just not the whole truth.

I nod and take a deep breath, "and I said yes, and we eloped and married last weekend in the Caribbean," I add, "he is my husband, Gideon is my husband," I confirm with a decisive nod.

It's the first time I have called him that out loud, and it feels good to say it, really good. I smile at the thought and feel myself flushing, and Cary grips my hand.

"I see" Dr Travis says and he leans back, slightly in shock.

"Yes," I say, "we wanted it to be just us, we are doing it again for everyone else in December which will be a media feeding frenzy, so we wanted it to be our time just for us" I stop staring at Dr Travis.

He smiles, "I can understand that, well, congratulations Eva," he says.

I sag with relief I didn't realise how much it meant to me to have his approval.

"Thank you, you will get an invite to the ceremony in December of course," I say firmly.

Dr Travis laughs and thanks me, and then turns his attention back to Cary, "So Cary, let's get back to you now, it seems the whole pregnancy issue is now going to being handled, I won't ask how you are going to gather the information you are requesting, as I am sure I don't want to know and if I did it would be more than a little worrying to me, now shall we address your feelings about your relationship with Eva?"

Cary looks startled, and then smiles, "Eva is my best friend in the whole world, she gets me like nobody else does, her mom treats me like a son, I feel wanted and accepted, and I'm just worried now she is with Cross, I will lose all that because she won't want me around, I feel her pulling away from me, I know she needs to spend time with him and everything, I mean he's her husband I get that, but I need her too," he glances at me and I feel tears trickle down my cheek.

"Cary, you know I love you, you will never have to be without me, you will always have a place in my life, Gideon has offered you the apartment next to the penthouse, and you know how serious I am about that foundation I want to start, and I want you to be the face of it, we know better than anyone about abuse and how it affects people, and we can really do good, I need you as much as you need me Cary, _you_ get me like no-one else, when things are not right between us I scatter, and I hate it, Gideon knows that you are important to me and he totally accepts it, hell you are the only man he lets within 20 feet of me!"

I grin at Cary and his face breaks into a beautiful smile.

I watch Dr Travis frown at that comment, but he doesn't say anything.

Cary reaches for me and pulls me towards him, "I love you baby girl you always know how to make things right between us," he says.

"Right back at you Taylor," I say as I pat his back affectionately.

Dr Travis, looks at us both, "it seems to me, all you two needed was to talk to each other rather than fly out here and talk to me, I am a little concerned about your behaviour of sabotaging your happiness though Cary, I thought we had worked through these issues with you, I know sex is your panacea, but it really only creates more problems in the long run."

Cary looks down at his hands, he knows Dr Travis is right, but it just hurts hearing it.

"Cary, tell me, do you truly love Trey?" Dr Travis asks suddenly.

Cary's head whips up and he thinks, a slow smile washes over his face, "yeah I do, he is a good person, stable, steady and he is good for me," he says, he looks at me and I nod, this is a huge thing for Cary to admit to.

Dr Travis turns to me, "so Eva what about you? It seems like you have accomplished a lot in your short time in New York?"

I nod and then taking a deep breath I spill my guts telling Dr Travis everything, how I met Gideon and how I fell in love, our split, whilst not going into details for obvious reasons, and then finally telling about our marriage, I talk about Nathan's reappearance in New York and how people had tried to keep it from me, and then his sudden death without mentioning who was responsible for it and how relieved I was that he was finally no longer a threat to me.

I talk about my mom and my issues with her, and her over protective stalking, how she put tracking devices in my phone, my compact and my watch and how that made me feel, how I felt my privacy had been violated and how when I try to confront her about it she turned it all around, and how now I feel there is that crack in our relationship which will never heal. Dr Travis listens and nods at intervals.

"Does your mother know that you have married?" Dr Travis asks.

I nod, "Yes she does now, and my dad does too," I say with a small snort as I recall last night's telephone call.

"How did that go?" Dr Travis asks.

I snort again, "badly, my dad lost it completely, and Gideon is flying out today to talk to him face to face, as a result, as for my mom, well, all she is bothered about is the fact I didn't seek counsel before I signed the pre-nup!" I shake my head sadly at her materialistic attitude.

"I'm sure they are both only reacting the way they are doing because they love and care about you Eva," Dr Travis says quietly.

I consider that and nod, "I know, but there is no room for failure here, it's not an option," I sweep my hand emphatically to emphasise the point.

Dr Travis nods, "are you seeing anyone in New York?" he asks.

I nod and I tell him about Dr Petersen and how Gideon has agreed to couples therapy with me as well, which seems to impress him slightly.

"Hey, have you thought about relocating to New York?" I ask Dr Travis eventually and Cary laughs.

"I've asked him the same thing while we were having our one on one," he says and he squeezes my hand again.

Dr Travis smiles, "I am flattered, but my place is here not in New York," he says.

"That's what he said to me as well," Cary says with a dramatic sigh.

"Eva, when you were talking with Cary, you said that Cary was the only man Gideon let within 20 feet of you, that is a little worrying to me, can you elaborate?"

I look up at him and sigh, "Gideon has issues – as many as I have, if not more, but it's not my place to talk about him when he isn't here to defend himself," I say conclusively.

Dr Travis nods, "I can understand that, but do you feel he tries to control you?" he asks, I know he is pushing this out of concern so I try and respond reasonably, and not sound too defensive.

I take a moment to really think about the question, "Sometimes, yes I guess I do, but he has his reasons, and they are good reasons, it's not irrational control just for the power trip, he's not like that, there is always a good reason for everything he does, but he just doesn't always go about things the right way, but having said that he gets me, he understands… he knows," I say and look at Dr Travis meaningfully.

"He knows your history, everything?" Dr Travis asks.

I nod, "Every last detail, he knows everything and he is careful with me, he tries his best to balance his need for control with my need for independence," I say confidently.

"That's good to hear," Dr Travis says.

We talk and Dr Travis offers words of advice and talks us through our issues, we leave feeling much more centred and feeling much better.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Cary and I arrive back at my dad's and we are just getting some late lunch when my phone alerts me to an incoming text, I open it up and see it is from Brett.

_**Hi Eva, just landed, are you in San Diego, can I see you? Brett x**_

"Cary" I say quietly.

He immediately pauses, his fork suspended in mid air and he looks at me questioningly. I show him the text, he reads it and then nods.

"He was one of your main reasons for making this trip, so let's get it over with," he says in a firm voice.

I nod, I think for a moment how I want to word it and then send a reply back.

_**I am here and available till 6:30, meet you at Pete's in an hour? Eva**_

"Does that sound ok?" I ask as I show Cary the text.

He reads it and when he nods I send it, I quickly text Gideon and tell him about the text from Brett and my reply and assure him Cary will be with me, his reply is almost instantaneous.

_**Be careful, I trust you, but I don't trust Kline. G xx**_

The response from Brett comes in a moment later.

_**I have to be at sound check, can I meet you there instead?**_

I realise that he was bound to have commitments as this isn't a holiday, he is in town playing a gig, so actually this will be much better all-round, so I quickly respond telling him I will make my way to the venue and meet him there, and he tells me he will call ahead so I won't have any difficulty getting in.

I smile and close the text and stow my phone in my pocket. I look at Cary, "Ok then here goes" I say.

We finish our lunch and clear away before leaving my dad's and as we leave, we see Raul is waiting outside with the SUV, he lowers the window and looks at me expectantly.

"How did you know?" I ask.

"Mr Cross informed me that you would be leaving to go and see Mr Kline shortly and he asked me to accompany you," he says.

I roll my eyes, of course he did, but I gratefully climb into the SUV and Cary follows me in.

We arrive at the concert venue and have no difficulty getting in, although I think that is due more to the presence of Raul and a card he flashed at security, rather than anything Brett may have said.

The roadies are milling about setting up for the show and I am feeling really quite anxious about this. Watching the goings on is forcibly reminding me of the last Six-Ninths show I was at, and what happened afterwards. My thoughts are disturbed by activity near the entrance, I look round and I see the band arrive with their manager for sound check, I recognise all of them and watch them, and I must react in some way as Cary wraps his arm around me in a gesture of silent support. They haven't noticed me yet but it isn't long before Brett spots me.

When he does, he frowns when he sees Cary and Raul but walks over. He puts his hand on my shoulder and leans in for a kiss I deliberately turn away, and putting my hand out to stop him, I stand up.

"No" I snap firmly

Brett stares at me in shock, "Hey come on Eva" he coaxes.

"Did you know?" I hiss at him, jumping straight in with the reason I am here because at this moment I just want to leave but I'm not going until I know the truth.

"Know what?" he asks looking confused

"The tape," I say, I stare into his face and I see the reaction I am looking for, and I know. My heart sinks.

"You fucking bastard," I snarl, fighting back the tears that are threatening, "You knew, what did you think it would do, sell a few more downloads for you?" I glare at him and he shakes his head.

"No, it's not like that," he protests, but I see the guilt written all over his face.

"What is it like then? Tell me Brett, was your plan to make it public, to try and make Gideon leave me in disgust and what did you think I would do if he did, come running back to you?" I look at him and see the answer in the look in his eyes to what I have just said.

"Oh my god, I'm right aren't I, you did, you really thought that didn't you?" I take a step back and stare at him.

I have never felt so betrayed or manipulated in my life, I feel physically sick and I have to fight to stop myself from throwing up, in the last few seconds any feelings I ever had for Brett Kline have vanished, I realise that I am shaking violently and Cary wraps his arm around me, while Raul is watching with a concerned expression on his face, but as he reaches for his phone I put my hand up.

"No, don't you dare tattle to Gideon about this!" I snarl.

"But" Raul protests.

"I said no," I snap again and I glare at him to reinforce my words.

I see Raul visibly struggle with what he has obviously been told to do by Gideon, and what I am asking... demanding.

"Raul, I'm fine, but I'm warning you if you touch that damn phone, I will break it!" I say.

Raul nods and pushes his phone back into his pocket, but he doesn't look happy about it. Cary has his arm now wrapped around me and he is trying to get my attention.

"Come on baby girl, you have your answer, let's go," he says.

I shake his arm off, "No not yet, I want Brett to answer for his actions, I need to know the truth," I say.

Cary is trying to remove me but I ignore him, staring at Brett with such hostility he looks uncomfortable.

Eventually, he cracks, he sighs and waves his hands in the air.

"Ok yes, I admit I knew about the tape, but it was never going to be released, I wouldn't do that to you, I just wanted to make it public about its existence," he says.

"To try and split me and Gideon up?" I ask.

Brett hesitates, and then nods, "Yes, because I wanted to try and split you and Cross up, and I also knew it wouldn't hurt to use the publicity for the album, the story behind the song, even Christopher Vidal said that, and he is Cross's brother"

I go cold at that, "Christopher Vidal knows about the tape?" I say quietly.

Brett nods, unaware of the panic surging through me at this, he is the last person I need involved with this, Christopher hates Gideon and this would be perfect for him to use against his brother.

"I want you back Eva, I love you," Brett whines and my attention is brought back to him, I stare at him derisively.

"You have a fucking funny way of showing it," I snarl at him.

I shrug out of Cary's hold and take a menacing step towards Brett. "Just so we are very clear on this, you never thought it was going to be released?" I look at him questioningly and he nods.

"So explain to me why Gideon flew to California just a few days ago and called in too many favours to count, to put in place an injunction to stop a public auction of it?" I say as I stand in front of Brett with my hands on my hips.

He blanches and shakes his head, and he does look genuinely shocked by that revelation.

"Honestly Eva I know nothing of that, believe me, Sam assured me he wouldn't release it, it was just something to stir things up a bit, I had no idea he was actually planning on selling the fucking thing".

He looks angry now and pulls his phone from his pocket, "Yimara, what the fuck are you playing at, you assured me that tape would never be released?"

He listens and sighs and closes his eyes.

"Right ok, well I'm not signing any waver and I want it plus any copies, tonight I'm back in town right now, I have a gig later so you'd better get a move on," he says.

He listens and then frowns and glances at me.

"I see," he says and hangs up.

He pushes his phone away and hesitating for a moment, he looks at me apologetically, "Well it appears Sam has screwed us both over, he has obviously found a loophole of some kind, and he said he has a private buyer for it, who he is meeting this evening," Brett says.

I go cold and start to shake uncontrollably, "No" I gasp and I feel my legs give way.

Cary grabs me and pulls me close. "You are a fucking asshole Kline" he spits at him, "Come on baby girl let's get out of here," he says to me.

"Eva wait," Brett says reaching for me I pull my arms up away from him.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I shriek, which draws the attention, not only of the roadies who are working a few feet away, but also the band who are setting up for the sound check.

"Eva please, I'm sorry, I love you, give me another chance, please tell me I have a chance," Brett begs.

I straighten and stare at him coldly, "Are you totally deranged? No chance, Never ever, to begin your plan didn't work, because Gideon had already married me by the time you and Sam cooked up your little plot."

I wave my ring finger at him and his eyes bulge and his jaw drops.

"And secondly, I will never forgive you for even thinking about doing what you did, let alone going ahead with it and I never want to see you again, Never ever contact me again," I hiss.

"Eva" he argues.

I shake my head, "No, you've not changed Brett, you were an asshole before and you are an even bigger one now, I never want to see you again, Goodbye."

When we are outside I am hyperventilating and shaking profusely, panic has set in at the knowledge that someone is going to buy footage of me having sex and other things with Brett Kline. I want Gideon, I need him desperately and I fumble for my phone, my hands shaking so violently that I can barely dial the number.

He answers on the first ring "Angel" he says.

"Gideon" I sob, letting the tears flow.

"Angel, what is it, what's wrong? Where's Raul?" he asks immediately on alert.

"Raul is here, and before you rip him a new one, I threatened him when he tried to call you," I say.

"Alright, we will discuss that later, but tell me why you are upset?" he says.

My mind returns to the tape out there in the wild and I feel sick again, "I need you" I blurt out pathetically with another sob.

"Talk to me Eva" he demands.

I tell him of my altercation with Brett and his call to Sam and how Sam told him he was selling the tape tonight. I wait for the explosion but it doesn't come, instead, I get a calm reassuring voice.

"Eva, calm down, and listen to me, I am the buyer, I am here in California now and I have been here all day, I followed you out here last night on another plane, I had literally just landed when I called you, when you were with your dad, but I didn't tell you I was here because I knew you wanted to handle everything with Kline on your own, and I wanted to prove to you that I trusted you, after all the dumb things I said, but I swear to you that the meeting with Yimara was already scheduled," he says.

I stare at my phone his words registering in my brain, once again Gideon is taking care of me, quietly in the background he is watching over me and protecting me, but once again he is also keeping secrets and keeping things from me.

"Where are you staying?" I ask.

"I have booked into a suite at one of my hotels," he says.

I remember what Brett said, "Christopher knows about the tape as well, Brett mentioned it he said that Christopher thought it would be good publicity for the album, so I am guessing he has seen it," I say.

"Is that right? Well don't worry about Christopher, I will handle him" Gideon says coldly.

I close my eyes, all my anxiety draining from me in a rush and it makes me feel a little light headed, when I open them Cary is watching me carefully.

"Thank you, Gideon" I whisper.

"No problem Angel" he replies, "is that all or is there anything else you need?" he asks.

"Apart from you" I whisper.

I hear him growl and it fills me with a throbbing hunger for him, and I am tempted to ask which hotel he is in and go straight to him. Then I remember Cary's problem with Tatiana.

"There is something else, I don't know if you can help or not, but we have a theory about Tatiana and we need help finding out the truth about her," I say.

"Tatiana?" Gideon questions.

"Tatiana Cherlin, the model Cary has been seeing, the one who claims to be pregnant with his baby," I say.

"Oh her, what do you need?" he asks.

I quickly outline everything we discussed with Dr Travis and how I have this hunch that I can't shake that she is lying about being pregnant and how we need to find out the truth. "Do you know how we could find out?" I ask nervously, knowing what I am asking is hardly legal.

There is a pause before Gideon speaks, "Is Cary with you now?" he asks eventually.

"Yes" I reply.

"Put him on," he says.

I hold out my phone to Cary, "Gideon wants to talk to you – about Tat" I say, Cary nods and takes my phone from me. I watch as he talks to Gideon giving him all the information he has on Tatiana and then he hangs up, handing me back my phone he smiles at me.

"Thanks," he says, "What did Cross say about the tape?" he asks.

"He told me that he is the buyer and that he has been in California as long as we have," I say.

Cary's jaw drops at that, "really?!" he says.

I nod, "really" I confirm.

"What do you want to do now?" Cary asks me as we walk away from the concert venue, he is watching me carefully.

I sigh, and think for a moment and then I smile, "Shall we go to Pete's for old times' sake?" I say.

I see Cary smile widely, "Yeah why not," he says, he holds out his hand to me and I slip mine into his and ignoring Raul who is on the phone inside the car we make our way to the bar.

When we arrive I stop, leaning against a small wall and take a moment to look at the place, as I do so a myriad of memories of the times I screwed Brett in the public bathrooms here or fell to my knees for him invade my mind and fill me with deep shame and I fight down another wave of nausea threatening to engulf me as the memories replay in my head and I don't want to go in there anymore.

"I feel so dirty," I say suddenly, as I go through the events of tonight and they become entwined with my less than savoury memories of my times here with Brett, and a sob escapes before I can stop it. I shuffle so I am sitting on the wall that I have been leaning against, as my legs go wobbly and I wrap my arms around myself fighting back a wave of nausea.

Cary immediately pulls me into a hug, "No baby girl, you shouldn't, you were a different girl back then, and they took advantage of it. I'm shocked, I always thought Brett was a good guy but this what Sam is doing... well its low, but it seems like Cross has got your back and is making sure it doesn't get out."

Cary shakes his head and rubs his hand up and down my back comforting me. Then I feel him stiffen suddenly, and I look up to see what has caused it.

"Well, look who the cat just dragged in," he sneers.

I look around and see Cary nodding towards the unmistakable form of Sam Yimara arrive in his car, he doesn't see us watching him as he parks up and enters the bar with brown paper bag under his arm, as he does so I look at Cary, I am putting two and two together, realising that if Sam is here, that means Gideon is too and probably already inside.

My reluctance to go in there vanishes with that thought and I stand and follow him in, not only eager to see my husband, but I am also ready to fight as I have never been so pissed in my life. As I walk in I see Sam greeting Gideon with a greedy look on his face, he practically has dollar signs shining in his eyes.

Cary goes to walk closer but I grab his arm, and we move out of the way so we can watch, and see Gideon without interrupting or ruining what he had set up.

I smile as I watch my husband totally run rings around Yimara, he intimidates him and quite frankly scares the shit out of him, I also learn from their conversation that Gideon has bought this bar which surprises me, and I watch as he grinds Sam Yimara down, he never for one moment lets him get into the conversation let alone the upper hand. It is beautiful to watch and to know my husband is doing this for me brings a lump to my throat, not to mention the fact it makes my chest tighten with emotion.

I watch as Gideon wraps things up and then to my great surprise he looks up, and glances in our direction.

"You can come out now Angel" he calls.

I smile as I realise he knew I was there all along, then it hits me I bet Raul tailed us here and told Gideon we were coming.

I step out from my hiding place and stalk purposefully towards my husband, he wraps his arm around me and presses a kiss to my forehead before handing me the brown paper grocery bag, "this belongs to you Angel," he says.

"Thank you," I say gratefully and rise up and press a kiss to his lips, I feel tears starting to well up in my eyes once more, but these are tears of relief and happiness. Then I glance inside the bag and see a DVD, a number of ancient VHS videos and a couple of memory sticks.

"Is this everything?" I ask Sam who looks thunderstruck and nods absently.

"It had better be," I spit, I am itching to punch him but instead, summoning all the self-control and dignity I have I decide he isn't worth it, so I give him a filthy look and then spin on the spot and leave with my head held high. Cary and Gideon follow me in silence, as we walk outside I spot Raul lurking in the shadows.

When we get back to my dad's, I set to and wipe all the memory sticks and the DVD and then I take them along with the video tapes, out to the backyard and I grab my dad's axe which he uses to chop logs and I smash everything to smithereens.

"Do you feel better now Angel?" Gideon says, I turn to face him just watching me indulging in my fit of destruction, he is leaning, his arms folded across his chest against the wall in the failing light.

I nod and after I glance at the now destroyed tapes, DVD and memory sticks I drop the axe and as I walk towards him he unfolds and I walk into his arms. He catches me and holds me tightly.

"Thank you so much," I say fiercely as I wrap my arms around him.

"I was my honour and my pleasure," he replies as he pulls me close and devours my mouth.

**oooOOOooo**

It's nearly 7pm when my dad gets back from work and he looks tired, I immediately greet him with a warm hug. I glance around to see Gideon joining us in the kitchen and I feel my father stiffen when he sees Gideon appear in the doorway and he eyes him warily.

"Victor" Gideon says stepping forward his hand outstretched. I step aside so my dad can greet Gideon and I pray that he does so with good grace.

My dad hesitates a moment, a muscle jumping in his jaw and then he reaches out and accepts the handshake.

"Cross" he says, the tone warning verging on downright hostility, is clear in his voice.

I look at my husband but he appears to be totally unconcerned, "If you are agreeable, I'd like to take you all out for dinner?" Gideon says politely, but I also detect a similar note of warning in his tone.

I watch as my father visibly struggles with this and I quickly step in, "but if you are too tired I can cook you something here?" I offer.

My father smiles at me, "No, I'm fine, let's go out for dinner," he says and he shoots Gideon a look as he says it.

He steps away and heads to his room to shower and change and about an hour later we are all heading out. Cary gives me a meaningful look and I am sure he has picked up on the thick, awkward atmosphere which is surrounding our little party as we leave the house. It's like a pissing contest, both my father and Gideon are true alpha males, and neither of them want to appear as though they are backing down.

"Where are we going?" I ask Gideon, as we leave the house.

"A little place that was recommended to me," Gideon says, I look at Cary and he shrugs.

We pull up outside a really expensive looking place and I see the look on my dad's face, and I feel uncomfortable, I glance at Gideon who has his inscrutable impassive mask firmly in place.

What is he playing at? He is clearly making some sort of statement but I haven't figured out what it is yet. Or is he simply punishing my father for his reaction to the fact we are married and the way he upset me?

I don't say anything and Gideon grasps my hand and we all follow him inside, he strides confidently up to the desk and waits, "reservation in the name of Cross" he says carefully.

The man beams at him, "Mr Cross, I'm delighted you could make it, please come this way, your table is waiting for you and your guests."

We are shown to a secluded corner at obviously the best table in the place, and a waiter comes up and shows Gideon a bottle of wine.

"Compliments of house sir," he says.

Gideon nods and the waiter makes a show of opening it.

My dad looks at me and then watches the proceedings carefully without comment. The way the waiter is fussing around Gideon I can't help but wonder if this is one of his places.

I glance at Cary and watch as his eyes dart from my father who is sitting glowering at Gideon and Gideon who is not giving anything away. The waiter opens the bottle of wine and offers a small amount to Gideon. I watch as he accepts it and takes a sip and then simply nods. When the waiter has poured the wine and disappeared, a blanket of silence descends over us all. My father sits playing with his wine glass making its contents move around.

"Is this one of yours?" I ask Gideon quietly after the waiter finally leaves us.

Gideon shakes his head, "No" he says shortly, but doesn't elaborate further and silence once again descends.

Eventually, Gideon opens his mouth to speak.

"So, as you requested, I am here, you said wanted to speak with me, or are we going to sit in silence all evening?" he says directly to my father, then with a deliberate movement he lifts his glass and takes a sip of his wine.

I reach for Gideon's free hand and he responds by grasping mine and lifting it to his mouth and kissing my knuckles softly.

I hear my father clear his throat, "First of all, why did you lie to me?" he asks after a moment.

Gideon's eyebrows rise significantly, and he sits back in his chair, his surprise... no, shock at my father's accusation is evident.

"I have spoken nothing but the truth to you Victor," he retorts.

My father shakes his head, "No, you haven't, you mislead me, which in my book is the same as lying. When you asked for my blessing to marry my daughter, you assured me that you would wait, you said you would wait to ask Eva to marry you, that it wasn't happening yet, then five minutes later you've not only asked her but whisked her away and married her without any of her family present."

Gideon sighs and grips my hand even tighter, he leans forward and I can see him choosing his words carefully so he doesn't antagonise my father any further.

"I can understand how it looks to you, but the truth is, I was planning on waiting, but then I realised I couldn't wait a moment longer, I love Eva with all my heart, my life began when she came into it and I realised that I didn't want to wait a moment longer, to make her mine," he pauses and gives me a scorching look as he says this.

I swallow hard as his blue eyes bore into me. Then he turns towards my father and the shutters come down once more.

"I understand that looks like I was going against what I had said to you, but I wasn't intentionally misleading you, I am not guilty of lying, all I am guilty of, is loving Eva, having no patience and so changing my mind on the timescale I had previously decided upon," he pauses again.

"You also have to remember I am a public figure, the media take an interest in me because of who I am and what I have built, and also sadly because of who my family is, or more significantly, was. I wanted Eva to have a wedding day that was private, and not spending the day dodging the media and turning what should be a personal intimate occasion into a three ring circus, and I won't lie to you I desired a ceremony where it was just us, the only people who really mattered, and I looked into various options of how I could give her a private wedding and also get the wedding day I desired, to put to Eva when I made my move. I naturally started off my research by looking at my own chain of hotels, as I knew some of them offered wedding packages and I knew that if I was to use one of my hotels I could guarantee Eva's privacy, and so when the opportunity to take Eva to the Caribbean presented itself, I took it. But we are renewing our vows in December so that everyone who wishes to celebrate with us will have a chance to participate." he stops talking and takes a long drink of his wine.

My attention turns to my father, and he considers what Gideon has said and he sighs and nods.

"I can understand that," he says eventually.

I feel Gideon relax slightly and nod, "Anything else?" he asks, and I can't help but notice that there is still a slight bite to his tone.

My father leans forward, "What is that woman to you?" he asks.

"Dad," I say warningly, Gideon looks confused, and looks to me for guidance.

I squeeze his hand, "My dad saw pictures of you online... with Corinne, and he asked me if she was another of your sisters and I... I said... no" I stop speaking remembering how hurt I felt when I saw the pictures of Gideon and Corinne socialising together at a time where I wasn't sure we were even together anymore, and it must show on my face as Gideon leans down and kisses my head reassuringly.

I look up and into my husband's face, and instead of answering my father he turns his full attention to me, "You know she means nothing to me, whereas you mean everything," he says earnestly and then when he is satisfied that I am happy with what he said, he looks at my father once more to answer his question, but before he can say anything my father speaks again.

"I need to know if you are going to be faithful to my daughter, because let me tell you, your wealth does not impress me, it does not intimidate me and it does not scare me, your wealth does not give you the right to do as you please, or play with other people's lives and believe me if you hurt my daughter in any way, any way at all I will find you and I will hurt you," my dad says coldly.

"Daddy, please," I say, dragging my eyes away from my husband, slightly shocked at my dad's fierce admonition.

I feel Gideon stiffen slightly, as he opens his mouth to speak.

"Victor, first of all, the woman in those photographs is Mrs Corinne Giroux," he emphasises the word Mrs and then pauses and lets that sink in a moment before he continues.

"She is an old friend of mine, and her marriage has recently broken up she has now returned to the United States after living in Europe for a number of years, and we were photographed together whilst catching up, nothing more. Just as Eva has previously been photographed with Cary and assumptions have been made in the media regarding their relationship."

I know there was more to it than that, but I also now know that the photographs my father is referring to, were taken the night Gideon killed Nathan and he was setting up his airtight alibi for his whereabouts. I return my attention to Gideon who is still talking.

"I have made it clear to Mrs Giroux that all I can offer her is friendship, and she knows the extent of my relationship with Eva and how important she is to me. We have a history, but I can't help that, when we were young and immature we thought it would be a good idea to get engaged, but we soon both realised it was a mistake and broke it off, she moved on and married, but we remained friends, that is all."

Gideon stops speaking and takes another gulp of his wine.

"Secondly, I have no intention of _ever_ hurting Eva, she is my life, she is my reason for living, when I asked for your blessing I promised you I would keep Eva safe and happy, that pledge has not changed and never will, but if I ever did hurt Eva - which I won't, I would expect nothing less than your full retaliation and vengeance and I would accept any punishment you saw fit to give me, but let me tell you, if I ever hurt Eva, any punishment you could give me would be nothing compared to the retribution I would give myself".

I take in a sharp breath at his words, but Gideon's only reaction to it is to squeeze my hand a little tighter, while he looks intently at my father.

My dad nods, "Alright, I'll believe that, and I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, Eva's happiness is paramount here and she appears to love you," he pauses and turns his attention to me, "Do you believe him?" he asks.

As my dad says that I feel Gideon stiffen slightly and I nod fervently, "I do" I say.

I feel Gideon squeeze my fingers, and see him take in a sharp breath, I know it means everything to him that he is believed, more importantly, that I believe him, in fact I would go as far as saying he views my trust in him and my belief in what he tells me, _as_ my love for him, and he craves it so much that he would never jeopardise it.

"Does he make you happy?" my father pushes.

I nod my head again, "he does daddy, I've never been happier than I have, since I have been with Gideon" I say sincerely, I see Gideon inhale deeply once again at my words.

I watch as my dad thinks about that and he seems to come to some conclusion, he takes a deep breath and stands to offer Gideon his hand.

"Fair enough," he says simply, "I can live with that," he adds.

Gideon rises gracefully and releasing my hand he shakes my father's hand, before retaking his seat. I glance at Cary who smiles.

The atmosphere lifts and lightens, and the meal is much less awkward after that, my dad makes an effort to include Gideon in his chat and to his credit Gideon responds and offers some small talk of his own and I love them both for the effort they are showing, I can tell that my dad isn't totally sold on Gideon and Gideon also knows it, but the fact remains that they are making the effort and I know it is solely for my benefit.

Talk moves towards the vow renewal, and my dad asks questions about who will be attending.

"Well, I am going to ask Gideon's sister Ireland to be a bridesmaid," I begin, I wait for Gideon to elaborate further but he stays silent.

"So, our side, Mom, Stanton, you - of course, Cary, I want to invite Dr Travis and I also have a few friends, who I'd like to invite" I pause, and wait for Gideon to speak up but he still remains silent.

"I am assuming Gideon will invite his mother and stepfather and as I say I am going to ask Ireland to be a bridesmaid" I pause and glance at Gideon, "what are we doing about Christopher?" I ask hoping Gideon will take my cue and say something.

"Nothing, with luck he won't come," Gideon replies coldly.

"Who is that?" my dad asks.

"Gideon's brother" I reply.

"Don't you get along with your brother Gideon?" my dad asks and Gideon sighs.

"You could say that my brother takes sibling rivalry to the extreme," he explains, he takes a drink of his wine, "I would have it differently but he seems to view me as some kind of rival, a competitor" he stops speaking and I can hear the tinge of pain in his voice at the way Christopher behaves.

"The guy is a total douche... no offence," Cary says speaking for the first time.

"None taken" Gideon replies.

I watch my father take in this information, "Christopher isn't a nice person" I add for good measure.

"Where will the ceremony be held?" my dad asks.

I shrug, "we haven't decided yet, I'm sure mom will want somewhere spectacular, but I really don't mind, but I think it will be somewhere in New York," I say.

My dad nods and leans forward, "I would like to contribute, financially, I realise it isn't a wedding as such as that has already happened, but I want to make some contribution to proceedings" he stops looking at me and then Gideon.

I smile lovingly at my dad, "Thank you daddy" I say gratefully, I don't try and dissuade him as I know this is a point of pride for him.

He smiles at me, "I guess I should ask how much resistance I'm going to get from your mother about wanting to pay my share?" he says.

"I'll talk to her," I say firmly. I was planning on doing that anyway, as I don't want my dad feeling like a poor relation.

Gideon leans forward at this, "I would like you to know that it would be my pleasure to provide transportation for you, it would also give me a chance to contribute," he waits and my dad nods.

"Thank you that's very generous of you," he says.

Gideon waves his hand dismissively, "Not at all, also I would like to make it clear to you that I consider it a standing offer, any time you want to fly to New York to see Eva just let me know and with an hour's notice I can have you in the air, it will maximise your time with Eva and make working around schedules easier," he waits for my dad's response to this.

My dad hesitates and then nods, "thank you, that's very kind of you... I don't know what to say" he stops.

Gideon smiles, "It would give me no greater pleasure than facilitating your visits with Eva and making it easier for you to see each other, I know it would make Eva happy," he says and reaches for my hand once more.

My dad smiles, "Thank you Gideon," he says eventually.

As the evening comes to an end, I'm feeling really tired and as I stifle a yawn, Gideon's phone starts to ring and he pulls it from his pocket and glances at the screen. I watch him as he stands, frowning.

"If you would excuse me I need to take this," he says as he steps away.

A few moments later he returns and smiles apologetically. "Sorry about that, unexpected issues have arisen in New York, and I'm afraid I need to return tonight."

I stare at him, "Oh ok" I say, I'm slightly disappointed that our time together has been cut short and wondering what could possibly have happened this late in the evening, considering New York is also a few hours ahead.

Gideon calls for the bill and as we leave I see Raul waiting by the kerb to take us back to my father's house, and parked up behind him is another SUV with Angus sitting in the driver's seat, obviously waiting for Gideon to take him to the airport. I am surprised Angus is here but realise he must have accompanied Gideon when he flew out.

I watch as Gideon apologises once more to my father for cutting short his visit, and after establishing that everything is now good between them and that he has answered all the concerns my father had he shakes his hand and then turns his attention to me.

"I'll see you tomorrow evening Angel," he says as he brushes his fingers down my cheek. I close my eyes and lean into his touch, and he brings his other hand up and cupping my face, he kisses me sweetly on the lips.

I step into him and wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls me close, burying his face in my hair.

"I need to go, my plane is waiting," he whispers apologetically.

"Ok," I say but make no move to remove myself from him.

"Come on Angel I need to go," he says with a little more determination. With a sigh I let him go, he leans down and kisses me once more before climbing into the waiting car.

I watch the car disappear before climbing into ours with Cary and my father. When we arrive back at my father's house, my dad gets out and heads inside.

"Mrs Cross, Mr Taylor, if I could have a brief word," Raul says politely as we climb out of the car.

We pause and wait looking expectantly at him.

I watch as Raul looks at Cary sympathetically, "I have managed to find out about Ms Cherlin, and I can confidently tell you that she is not pregnant and never has been," he says.

I see Cary gasp and stagger on the spot a little, and I immediately reach for him and grasp his hand.

I knew it! She was trying to trap him, cause trouble and separate him from me and from Trey.

"Oh my god Cary, I'm so sorry" I blurt out.

"Forget it baby girl, you were right about her and now I know the truth," he says tightly.

"There is more," Raul says hesitantly.

We look at him once more waiting for him to elaborate.

"I did some digging, and I'm afraid it appears that on her recent visit to Europe, she met up with a man and she seems to be having some sort of relationship with him," Raul pauses, and Cary swallows hard.

"Thank you for finding that out for me," he says his voice slightly shaking.

Raul nods and we climb out of the car and head inside.

"What are you going to do now?" I ask.

Cary shrugs, "I have no idea, I am going to end it with Tat, that's a no-brainer, I can't be with her after that sort of lie, I want to try and make things right with Trey, but I don't know if he will want to" he looks at me, he looks devastated.

I reach for his hand and grip it tightly, "Why don't you give Trey a call and tell him, talk to him and be honest with him, tell him you and Tat are totally finished, but be honest with him, tell him why you finished with her, tell him everything that has happened – including what she tried to do to you and take it from there and see what he says" I say, hoping that if Cary opens up with Trey he will see he isn't the only one making an effort.

"Yeah, yeah I think I will," he says and I see the determination on his face, he pulls his phone from his pocket and disappears into his room.

I hear my phone ping alerting me to that fact I have received an email regarding a Google alert on Gideon and I absently pull out my phone and as I do so a text comes in, from the man himself.

_**I have made our marriage public, I'm sorry I didn't discuss it – it was necessary, I will explain everything later Gx**_

My mouth drops open and I quickly check my phone which is currently going wild, pinging constantly and now I know why my email is being filled with constant Google alerts because the internet has gone into meltdown with the news that Gideon and I are married. I flick through the alerts and gasp as I see a picture, a very intimate picture of Gideon kissing me on the beach when we said our vows, I didn't even know this picture had been taken and I stare at it, memories of that day flooding my mind.

I wonder if this sudden surprise announcement has something to do with the issue that had Gideon hot-footing it back to New York tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

**(GIDEON)**

"Your plane is ready for takeoff," Angus's words pull me from my thoughts.

"Thank you," I say distractedly, I glance up from my phone and meet Angus's gaze.

I have just instructed my PR dept to make my marriage to Eva public, and release a private photograph which was taken that day, now I am second guessing myself, I hope to god I have done the right thing. I quickly send a text to Eva to warn her of what I have done and I hope she will give me a chance to explain my reasons for doing this without informing her or discussing it with her first.

"What's the latest?" I ask.

"No word yet lad, but my guess is she will definitely know now, as all the news websites are running the story and you are trending on all the social media sites, so to say it's gone viral would be an understatement," he replies, then he pauses and looks at me carefully.

"Just one thing, you have told Eva what you have done, haven't you?" he adds.

I nod, "yes, by text" I say and I see Angus try and hide a grimace at that, "but I'm hoping she will understand and give me chance to explain," I add.

Angus smiles, "Of course she will, you loves you lad," he says.

I sigh with a sense of relief that my plan has worked, but it is tinged with worry at what Eva's reaction will be, I felt it was my only option though after the news I got earlier. I think back to the call I had received at dinner which was a heads up from my close friend and personal attorney, Arash Madani, that there is rumour that Corinne is planning to write an expose-style tell-all book about her time with me, and I cannot allow that to happen, as it will destroy Eva.

I don't know how Arash managed to get this information, but I am glad he did and not only that, he found out that there is going to be a public announcement that she is planning to write this book, which I am assuming it will be some kind of accidental on purpose leak and according to what I have been told, that, will be made on Monday morning.

My hope is that getting in first with the announcement of my marriage to Eva it will discredit Corinne and make her look desperate and sad, attempting to cash in on her past relationship with me as soon as I announce that I am married. I am flying back to New York to be on the ground before the announcement of the book breaks and hopefully talk some sense into Corinne to drop it before Eva returns from California, but if I can't persuade her to do so, then I'm not averse to playing dirty, especially after what Eva told me, how Corinne had played on all her insecurities and tried to make her believe I was having a physical relationship with her.

Angus pulls up on the tarmac near the jet which is waiting for me. We quickly board and soon we are on our way back to New York. It occurs to me that Eva hasn't responded to my text telling her what I have done, I am certain she will know by now, as she has Google alerts on me which sends her emails and she has her email programmed into her phone so considering the firestorm of reaction to the news it is unthinkable that she is ignorant of my actions and her silence is worrying me.

As I think this, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I quickly pull it out and am relieved to see a text from my wife.

_**Ok, you must have had a good reason to do it, I love you and trust your decision x**_

My heart swells as I read the text and I quickly respond.

_**I do have a good reason, I promise I will explain everything x**_

I hesitate after I have sent the reply, should I call her now? I know she is probably dealing with Cary at the moment, Raul had looked into the model he had been seeing and Eva's hunch was correct, she wasn't pregnant – but it was worse than that, she also appeared to be seeing someone else. My attention is drawn to my phone as I receive another text.

_**Call me when you can, I love you and also check your social media I have changed my status to married to you and it needs your confirmation x**_

I smile, and quickly access my social media account accepting the notification and then before I can second guess myself I am calling my wife.

"Eva," I say as she picks up.

"Ok Ace spill," she says, there is still lightness to her tone so she isn't really angry with me for what I have done.

I take a deep breath, "It was necessary Angel, I had to act quickly to gain the upper hand," I say I let her take that in before I continue.

"Ok, the upper hand for what?" she asks warily.

I steel myself for her response, "Corinne" I say and I hear Eva take a sharp breath in.

"I see," she says all levity gone.

"The telephone call I got at the end of dinner tonight, it was my personal attorney and close friend and he had discovered that Corinne is planning to write a tell all book about her time with me, there is a rumour that there is going to be an announcement of the book to be made on Monday morning, so I needed to get in first to discredit it and her, I also needed to return to New York so I could talk to her in person to try and dissuade her from pursuing this. I know I didn't discuss any of this with you, but I was working to a deadline, I needed to do something significant quickly and sooner than Monday morning, and announcing that I am now married seemed to me to be the perfect rebuttal as it will then look like the book is a response to my announcement, not the other way around. I also need you to know that, I wouldn't have done it had your family been unaware, but now they know we are married I considered it the best course of action to take".

I stop and wait for her response. There is silence for a few moments but I wait until she is ready to speak to me.

"Ok," she says eventually and I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding.

"Just so you know, I'm not mad at you for doing this, and I also understand why you didn't discuss it with me, but this is going to impact on my life as well, the news we were engaged changed things for me at work, now hearing that we are married is going to compound that," she says.

"Then come and work with me," I say, grabbing the chance to once more try and persuade her to come and work at Cross Industries.

I hear her tut and sigh, "Don't start that again Gideon, not now," she snaps. She goes silent again for a moment when she does speak it's a question, "why is she doing this?" she asks.

"I have no idea Angel," I say honestly.

"She really wants you back, and she has lost her damn mind, attempting suicide when her husband told her we were engaged was the lowest of the low not to mention shockingly manipulative, but this just smacks of desperation and is just... sad!" Eva says the derision evident in her voice.

"I know Angel, this is why I needed to return, because I also need to talk to her to try and persuade her not to do this, not because it will hurt me, I don't care, she can write whatever she wants about me, but I know it will upset and hurt you, and I won't have that, I won't have her hurting you," I stop.

"Me?!" Eva says in surprise.

"Yes Angel, you, you can deny it if you want to but I know you, reading what some other woman believes we had will eat at you, I know this because I feel the same, every damn time I hear Golden".

"Oh god Gideon," Eva exclaims.

"Hush, listen to me Eva, I can live with Golden, but I don't want you to have to live with this book if I can prevent it from happening," I say firmly.

"Ok I understand, let me know how you get on," she says.

"I will, and I will see you tomorrow night when you get back," I demand.

"You will and I love you," she says.

I close my eyes at those words, I'm sure Eva has no idea how they affect me every time she says them.

"Goodnight Eva and I love you too" I reply hoarsely.

**oooOOOooo**

It's around 11 am when the call from the front desk comes up to the Penthouse. I have only just got up as I didn't get into New York until about 4 am this morning.

"Cross," I say as I take a sip of the coffee I am currently drinking.

"Mr Cross its James at the front desk, I have a Corinne Giroux here asking for you."

I sigh, "Keep her there, I'll be down in a moment," I say.

"Yes sir" James replies and I hang up, I take my time getting dressed, it's a cheap shot making her wait but she deserves it.

I deliberately dress casually in only a pair of sweats and an old T shirt, and I slip a pair of canvas shoes onto my feet without any socks, I check my appearance my hair is a mess as I have only recently got up but it could also signify that I have been doing other things, and I smile, I will let Corinne believe I have been dragged from my wife's arms, just as she previously tried to make Eva believe she had been with me, my heart aches at the thought of Eva and the fact she is the other side of the country but she will be back tonight. With that happy thought, I make my way downstairs.

Corinne stands and the bright smile she has plastered on her face slips as she takes in my appearance.

I look closely at her, she is very pale and has dark circles under her eyes, and she looks frail, I realise she is still recovering from her suicide attempt, in fact, I am surprised she isn't still in hospital. I stop a few feet away from her and fold my arms.

"What do you want Corinne?" I ask sharply.

"I saw the announcement, it said you are married, I don't believe it, it's not true" she states.

I hold up my left hand, proudly displaying the wedding band encrusted with rubies.

"It is true Corinne, my PR team made it public on my instruction, Eva and I married last weekend, now I will ask you again, what do you want? I'm sure you can appreciate as a newlywed, I have better things to do with my Sunday morning than stand here and talk to you".

I see tears start to build in her eyes, "Why? Why are you being like this, you know I love you and she isn't right for you Gideon, Elizabeth said she is rewriting your past, you don't know her, you don't know what she is like she..." I hold up my hand.

"STOP" I snap, and Corinne jumps at the ferocity of my voice.

"That is my wife you are talking about, and you need to tread very carefully when you speak of my wife as I am very protective of her and I won't tolerate anyone including you to bad mouth her" I stop as she laughs.

"But it's alright for her to come to my apartment and verbally abuse me?" she says incredulously.

I raise my eyebrows, I know for a fact that is a lie, as I own the building that Corinne lives in and after I became aware of Eva's visit I accessed the security feed and saw their interaction for myself.

I lean against the wall and fold my arms once more, "Oh come on Corinne don't exaggerate, Eva didn't abuse you, she told you some home truths and called you out on your lies, but she certainly didn't abuse you," I say.

Corinne stares at me speechless at what I have just said, "I have never known you to be so influenced by anyone, she has really got her claws into you, she is lying to you and misleading you Gideon, can't you see that?" she says her voice getting more and more shrill.

I smile "Lying and misleading... do you mean like the way you tried to make out I was in your apartment with you and we had just had sex when I wasn't anywhere near you, or maybe the day you made sure Eva saw you leaving the Crossfire all mashed up, you looked as though you'd been manhandled, but you hadn't been with me which is what you wanted Eva to believe, what did you do, see Eva coming and step inside to muss yourself up?" I say.

I know for a fact this is exactly what she did as after Eva had accused me I had pulled the security feed and seen what she did for myself, I watch as her jaw drops open and her hand flies to her throat before she can recover I step closer.

"Whatever Eva said to you, you deserved, you knew she was important to me because I told you so, and I was stupid enough to also tell you she was insecure about our relationship and you used that information against her by playing cruel mind games with her, trying to make her believe I had been unfaithful to her, then you played more mind games with me by using emotional blackmail when your husband told you we had got engaged, the irony of that is, by the time you were told we were engaged, we had already married and had been for a number of days. I can see for myself that you have recovered physically from your suicide attempt, and now you are trying to get my attention once more by prostituting your so-called love for me by writing a book, but that isn't for my benefit, is it Corinne? It is purely another attempt to try and hurt my wife, but please be aware that if you hurt my wife, that pisses me off and I won't hesitate to destroy anyone who tries to hurt my wife" I stare at her and see her swallow deeply.

"I...I..." she stammers.

"It's your choice Corinne, this book doesn't interest me or affect me in the slightest, it doesn't even feature on my radar of interest and if you choose to pursue it, you will just look desperate and sad and even possibly a little unstable, and trust me, Corinne, I won't hesitate to use whatever information I have available to discredit you" I say.

I see fear in her eyes as I say this, and she knows as well as I do that her behaviour since she returned to New York is not something she would want to be made public as it would compound the opinion that she is just a jealous ex, trying to cause trouble and who is unable to move on.

"This isn't you Gideon, you have never been so cold and vicious," Corinne says sadly.

"You don't know me Corinne, you have never known me," I spit.

"But I love you" she calls.

I laugh, "No you don't, if you loved me, you would know that attempting suicide to get my attention was not a good move, as I won't be emotionally blackmailed. If you loved me, you would know why I never spent the entire night with you when we were together. If you loved me, you would want me to be happy, and you would be happy for me and if you loved me, you wouldn't want to cause any trouble or inflict hurt on my wife... if you loved me, you wouldn't take your fond memories of our time together and cheapen them by selling them to the highest bidder and broadcasting them to the world, making them out to be more than they actually were and making me regret ever being with you".

"Is this because you are angry with me for calling off our engagement?" she asks.

I stare at her incredulously, and I snort "You really are clueless aren't you? I was pleased when you did that, I was so happy and relieved when you ended things and married Giroux, I didn't want to marry you, and was relieved when you ended it."

"No, that's not true," she breathes and she takes a step back at my words.

"It is true Corinne, I was happy it was over because I didn't love you enough to marry you, we were too young and immature to take that step, and from the moment I said yes I realised what a monumental mistake I'd made and I was looking for a way out, and you gave it to me by getting involved with Giroux, you asked me, Corinne, I didn't ask you to marry me, you did all the chasing, not me, because I didn't love you enough to make that sort of effort, and I should never have said yes, and for that I apologise sincerely, but I was young and immature, you dodged a bullet, Corinne. I didn't love you enough to marry you, whereas I love Eva with all my heart, I asked Eva to marry me because I love her, I did all the chasing, I love her and I made the effort to get her." I state emphatically.

I watch as my words hit her, tears are now streaming down her cheeks, "Why are you being so heartless?" she asks.

I stare at her incredulously, "You accuse me of being heartless, yet you tried to end your life because you got the news I was engaged, you killed an innocent child in your pathetic attempt to try and grab my attention, that is beyond heartless."

I stop and wait knowing how she reacts to this will tell me if she knew about the child or not.

I watch and instead of pain, regret and grief I see as her eyes harden and her mouth curls into a sneer, and as I see it my heart sinks, with that one reaction I know that she knew about the baby and just didn't care, and what she says next confirms that, as she totally ignores what I have just said and instead tries to shift the conversation back on to me.

"You will regret this Gideon, I might be so upset that I won't ever forgive you for this, I might be so upset that I might do something else, something more permanent this time," she says.

Anger rises in me at the blatant manipulation, I struggle not to show any emotion and I shrug dismissively.

"Let me make myself clear Corinne, I do not need or require your forgiveness because I have done nothing wrong, I moved on, fell in love and I married the love of my life, if you choose to harm yourself or do something then that is your decision and nothing whatsoever to do with me and I won't be held responsible for your actions or decisions, and I refuse to be emotionally blackmailed by you, now if that's all, we are done here," I say and turn to walk away.

"I will write my book Gideon" she calls after me defiantly.

I pause and turn "ok, I've made my position clear, so fine, do it" I say.

To the casual observer it was a comment which sounded dismissive, but I know Corinne caught the dangerous tone of my voice, which if she was smart it would tell her that if she does go ahead, I will destroy her.

With that, I head back up to my apartment and as soon as I get inside I call Angus and ask him to pull all the security footage of the foyer, complete with sound, so I have it should I need it. I am hoping that I don't have to use it, but as I have already proved there are no lengths I wouldn't go to, to protect Eva.

**oooOOOooo**

I spend the rest of the day taking care of business, Angus came up to the apartment with the footage from the security feed and I smile as I watch my interaction with Corinne, if she tries anything, I will make sure this footage will be leaked to the media.

Angus also tells me that he thoroughly searched Sam Yimara's place when we were in California and no more hard copies of the sex tape were found, he had told me that he had accessed Yimara's computer hard drive and deleted all trace of the tape from there and done a trace to see if any copies had been forwarded elsewhere, he tells me nothing had been found which is a relief. Angus also tells me that no copy had been sent to Christopher and that he had double-checked Christopher's computers to verify this, but he said he had recovered email correspondence with Yimara discussing the sale of the tape so I wonder exactly what Christopher knew, to use the tape to try and urge Brett to use it, something which I intend to find out. Angus assured me that all trace of the tape had been deleted and that he would continue to keep a discreet eye on Yimara to make sure that no further copies come to light at a later date.

I thank him and then I address another matter which has been on my mind since the gala, I ask him if he or Raul have managed to come up with any information on Anne Lucas, who is another thorn in my side. After Eva was convinced she had approached her at the gala, I need to know if she was the person who Eva saw that night.

"We are still working on that one lad, but Raul seems to think it could have been her, I have been checking the footage of arrivals and any publicity shots in the media of the event, nothing has come up yet, but if there is something to know we will find it," he says confidently.

I smile, "I know you will, thank you, Angus," I say.

He gives me a small salute, touching his forehead. "If that's all lad?" he asks.

I nod, "Yes thank you, Angus," I say, effectively dismissing him.

I lean back and sigh, people from my past are coming out of the woodwork trying to get at me through Eva, as I have made it clear that she is important to me, and by making that declaration I have made her vulnerable, so now I need to redouble my efforts at protecting her as it will only increase now I have announced that she is my wife.

After having some lunch I prepare for Eva's return, I got word that she is on her way back, Raul had text me when they were about to take off to say they were on route back, and I can't wait to see her again. I know it isn't even 24 hours since I last saw her but I need her with such an overwhelming sense of almost desperation that I don't feel complete when she isn't around.

I hear my phone buzzing again and with a sigh, I reach for it. I am not surprised when I see Arash's name on the screen, I had asked him to try and find out more about who was planning to publish Corinne's book.

"Cross," I say as I answer the call

"Hey man, a quick update for you, the publishers have a ghostwriter assigned to Corinne Giroux and her book, that is not publicly known and they want to keep the fact under wraps" he pauses.

"Oh?" I ask

"Someone called Deanna Johnson, she is a freelance investigative reporter by trade which rises more than a few red flags," he replies, and I scowl at the mention of that woman.

Eva had warned me about her, and said that even though I had taken the time to apologise to her, giving her enough to tell me about the sex tape Yimara had, it appears she was still after blood, I smile, I had offered her an exclusive on our wedding photos as part of the apology I made and I was wondering how she would react to that, as I had effectively shafted her by releasing the photo of Eva and me on the beach in the Caribbean and after that anything else would be of little value. But now with this information, I have the leverage to throw the ball back to her and reclaim the moral high ground.

"I see," I say and I sigh, "thank you that's good to know, I'm pretty sure that Ms Johnson will be coming to see me shortly anyway, so having this information will be useful, anything else?" I ask.

"No, not yet, but I'm continuing to dig, but it seems as though this announcement isn't anything official, as the book isn't even written yet, it's is just a calculated leak to get some salacious interest out there and gauge opinion," he says confidently.

"That is what I thought as well, ok good, I'll leave that to you," I say.

I desperately want to discuss this with Eva, she was right about Deanna before and she came up with a credible rebuff to her when she believed she was going to write an expose on me, this leads me once more to my wish for Eva to come and join me at Cross Industries, I know she is reluctant to do so, and I can understand her reasons for not wanting to work with me, as they are all completely valid, but I am a selfish man and I know that she would be a huge asset to my company, plus it would be a win, win situation for me as I would know exactly where Eva was and I could be confident that I could adequately protect her.

As I am thinking this I find myself reaching once more for my phone, and before I realise what I am doing I am dialling Eva's phone. It goes straight to voicemail and I frown, and then I call Raul who quickly answers.

"Raul, is Eva ok?" I ask.

"Yes sir, she is taking a nap at the moment, she said she was tired and Mr Taylor is also asleep, but I think that in his case it is down to the travel sickness pills he took," he says.

I realise she must have switched her phone off so it didn't disturb her, "What is your estimated time of arrival?" I ask.

"ETA is 1900 hours" he replies.

"Alright thank you" I reply, "There will be a car waiting for you at the airport, please take Mrs Cross and Mr Taylor back to the Upper West Side apartment," I say.

"Very good sir" Raul replies, "anything else?" he asks.

"No, thank you, Raul, that's all," I say.

I hang up. Seven o'clock this evening, it seems like a lifetime away when I am desperate to see my wife again.

**oooOOOooo**

**(EVA)**

"Baby girl," I open my eyes and Cary is shaking my shoulder gently.

"Hmmm" I mutter as I stretch and open my eyes, just wanting to turn over and go back to sleep.

"We are about to land," Cary says.

I glance at my watch and see it is nearly 7 pm. I fasten myself into my seat and wait as the plane comes in, to land. A sudden thought hits me, I need to contact my mother and see her face to face about Gideon and I being married, it's only fair after all.

Once we are on the ground I reach for my phone and switch it on, I fire off a quick text to my dad letting him know I have arrived back in New York safely and I quickly get a response from him acknowledging that.

Then I text Gideon.

_**Hi, I'm back! Just landed x**_

His response is immediate.

_**Good, I am waiting for you x**_

I smile at that and as I am about to respond another text comes through from Gideon.

_**I am at your apartment**_

Ok, I had assumed I would be going to the penthouse, but I don't mind seeing Gideon at our apartment on the Upper West Side, it still blows me away he went as far as taking over the apartment next door to me when he found out Nathan was in New York and a threat to me.

We arrive at our apartment and Paul the doorman opens the door for us and smiles kindly as he greets us.

"Hi, Paul," I say brightly as we walk past him.

"Good evening" he responds with a nod.

We head up to the apartment and Cary dramatically throws himself on to the sofa as soon as we walk inside.

I laugh at him, "You have been asleep for a good portion of the flight back from San Diego and yet you throw yourself down as if you are exhausted and have been on your feet all day!" I say.

"I'm just glad to be home baby girl, plus you can't talk, you slept for most of the flight," he says as he stretches out and makes himself comfortable.

I hear the door open and I turn to see Gideon appear in the room, Cary looks up and smiles.

"Hi," he says to Gideon.

"Good evening Cary" Gideon responds politely.

I look carefully at my husband, he is tightly reigned in, immediately I know something has happened and I frown as I walk towards him and into his arms.

"Hi Ace," I whisper and press a kiss to his hard chest.

"Eva" he responds as he squeezes me tightly.

He is holding me as if his life depends on it, I am immediately on my guard at his reaction and I look up at him.

"What's up?" I ask.

"I need to talk to you" he whispers and glances at Cary, who is oblivious.

I grasp his hand, "Ok then, come on," I say and we head out to the apartment next door. "I'll be with Gideon," I call back to Cary

He responds with a comment which, although I didn't catch what he said, makes Gideon snort with laughter and so I am certain it was something crude, so I shake my head.

As soon as we are inside the next door apartment I turn to face Gideon, who is watching me carefully, "What is it? What's happened?" I ask.

"Corinne came to see me this morning, she turned up at the Penthouse," he says warily watching my reaction.

I sit down and pull him down to join me, "Ok," I say.

"I need you to know that she never entered the Penthouse, we spoke in the lobby, in public, it got quite personal but I wanted to keep her in a public place, I have the security footage complete with sound so you can watch it for yourself," he says.

I smile at him and stroke his cheek, "Hey, I trust you Gideon, I don't need to see proof, I believe you" I say.

I watch as his nostrils flare slightly as he takes in a sharp breath at my words, and once again I am blown away by his reaction to me telling him that I believe him and how it affects him and I see how that means more than anything else to him. But to my surprise, he shakes his head.

"No, I need you to see it, because it leads on to some other information which came to light which I also have to discuss with you," he says adamantly.

"Ok" I say, and I sit down on the sofa and wait while he goes to fetch a laptop which he places on my lap and leaning across me he taps on the keypad, a moment later, footage from a security camera appears on the screen, he presses another button and I hear Gideon's and Corinne's voice. I watch the interaction feeling a bit like a voyeur and I have to tell myself this all took place in a public setting.

I feel my anger rising especially when Corinne blatantly tries to emotionally blackmail Gideon and when he calls her out on being heartless because she tried to kill herself whilst being pregnant, I watch carefully and am shocked at her reaction, my eyes leave the screen and meet Gideon's where he has been sitting silently watching me watch the footage.

"She knew!" I gasp, "She knew she was pregnant, she fucking knew," I splutter pointing at the screen.

"I got that too, from her reaction," he says sadly.

I push the laptop aside, "Do not blame yourself for this Gideon, that is all on her, it was her decision to do all that" I say firmly.

He nods, "I know, I have already come to terms with that fact, what I need to talk to you about is the book she is planning to write," he stops and searches my face.

"Oh, that," I say trying to sound nonchalant and failing miserably.

I don't want to make this about me, but the idea of a book being out there detailing a relationship between my man and someone else, well, it hurts and plays on every insecurity I have and sends them into overdrive, I know that is Corinne's intention and that the way she remembers the relationship between her and Gideon is pretty much as rose-tinted, as the way Brett remembers our fuck buddy association.

"As you heard, I told her, I don't care what she writes about me but I don't want it to upset you," he says warily.

I reach for him and grip him tightly, "I won't lie I'm not ecstatic about the thought of a book being out there detailing a relationship with you, but it is what it is" I say.

"There is more you need to know," he says.

"Go on," I say, and my heart sinks as I wait for the next revelation.

"I have found out that Deanna Johnson is the proposed ghostwriter for the book, but that is not public knowledge," he says.

I stare at him in shock and then my mind starts working things out, he reaches for me once more and I hold my hand up, "wait, give me a moment," I say and I pull away from him and start to pace.

I work everything out in my mind and spin on the spot to face him, "So, let's get this right, Deanna approaches _me_ to get my take on you, because she is bent out of shape by a brief encounter with you, you see her, apologise to her for the way you behaved to get her to back off and smooth things over and to sweeten the deal you offer her a deal on our wedding photos which she takes, and we think everything is now fine, but she has already got Corinne in her pocket extracting juicy details from her about your relationship with her, which she conveniently neglects to divulge, oh she is going down," I feel my anger rising and I at this moment I want to call Deanna and verbally eviscerate her.

I see Gideon smirk, "this is why I needed to tell you, I know your agile mind will work out a suitably perfect way of shutting all this down once and for all," he says.

I stare at him, "You want me to figure out a way to spin this?" I ask wanting clarification of what he is saying.

He nods, then standing gracefully he reaches for me.

"I have made no secret of the fact I want you with me at Cross Industries, but until you willingly join me in a professional capacity I will have to get what I can of your brilliant mind, you came up with a first class public relations campaign when you thought there was just a threat of her writing a story on me, and you totally overhauled my business and charitable website and public image in the space of a couple of hours during that process, but now we have this which I don't particularly want to take to my PR department and so I need your take on it."

He stops and waits for me to respond to that.

I nod and pace some more, then piecing everything together I turn and face him and tell him what I think.

"We are married" I begin and I watch him smile at that and nod.

"We are married, you are my husband and I am your wife, that makes us a partnership, we are a team, we are 'Team Cross' and with that in mind, we have to start and act like we are team, first of all, full disclosure, no more secrets, so we are tight and nobody can get at us by trying to play us off against one another. No more you and I as separate entities, from now on it's us against them," I stop and let him take that in, he nods at me acknowledging my point.

Before he can say anything, I carry on, "Especially, when it comes to crap like this, Corinne is trying to drive a wedge between us so we have to provide a united front and collectively bring her down, let's show the people wanting to hurt us that they won't succeed."

He smiles at me again, while I have ideas flowing thick and fast, I glance down at the laptop, "I am tempted to leak that footage, but I think I'll keep that to one side for now," I say, thinking out loud.

"If we do this right we can discredit Corinne and Deanna all in one go, remember what I said when Deanna was pestering me, how I said she was looking at us as the thrown over by Gideon Cross sisterhood or something like that," I say.

He nods but doesn't say anything and his eyes darken, he doesn't like to be reminded of that time, but I ignore his reaction and plough on with my idea.

"Well, if we do this right that is the very thing _we_ can achieve but with Corinne and Deanna and making it a negative and painting them both as pathetic and sad," I say.

I see him fold his arms "Explain what you have in mind," he says.

I chew my lip as I think, "How resistant are you about doing a TV interview?" I ask.

I watch as his eyes widen at that suggestion.

"I don't generally tend to give interviews... ever," he says warily.

I nod, "I know, that is why it is so right, it will throw them completely as they won't be expecting it, the only reaction you give to anything is a sterile carefully worded statement to the press through your PR department, you never react personally and you never give anything of yourself. Corinne is holding this book over you as a threat as what she perceives as some kind of leverage to prove you love her, which you don't... you love me."

"I do," he says immediately and I grin at his fervent response, but I quickly continue.

"She is also banking on the fact that because you are a very private person and unwilling to give interviews you will remain silent and won't react which will give her free reign to spout her undying love and give her the upper hand as the spurned lover, so what you need to do, is act in a way she isn't expecting, you need to give an interview, get the truth out there, how you were both too young and immature, how you both realised it was a mistake but _she _took the next step andbroke off your engagement, _she_ left you and married Jean Francois and you happily let her go with your best wishes but now that her marriage has got into difficulties _she_ has come strolling back into your life expecting to pick up where she left off and because you have also moved on and married _she_ is having a hissy fit about it and getting nasty, you also need to somehow drop out the Deanna thing, I mean a freelance reporter who has been harassing your wife looking for an expose on you because she couldn't handle casual sex and who is now conveniently working with your ex fiancé to ghost write a book, it smacks of desperation and revenge on a massive scale, and you need to get that out there, you need to basically spill your guts, Gideon, if you give the interview of your life detailing everything, and show how you are now a happily married man, there is no story, no exclusive and Corinne and her book will sink without trace." I pause and then shrug.

"If that doesn't do the job or the press needs more persuading then we leak the footage and show her to be the heartless manipulating bitch she really is," I say pointing at the laptop.

I see him consider this and he nods, "I can see the potential in this idea," he says eventually.

"There is also the point that you are a public figure, and the press crave information about you, and because you have stayed so private all your life, they have made up their own picture of you, you have a reputation as a womaniser, and that reputation is something that the people who want to hurt you and get to you through me will use, so you need to open up and get the facts out there, that will be the surest way of shutting them down. You have made a start by announcing the fact we are married, that has got the media into a frenzy wanting more, so as soon as Corinne's book is announced tomorrow morning, news outlets and TV magazine shows will be begging you to get your take on it and gagging for an interview, you grant them that, and concentrate on the angle of how convenient it appears to be that _she _announces this tell all book after you announce you are married, you'll have them eating out of your hand, plus it will also look good that you are standing beside your new wife and protecting her from your deluded ex".

"And if Corinne retaliates?" he asks.

"Well if she resorts to playing dirty then you will have to play dirty too, as I have already said you leak that footage, showing her to be the manipulative bitch she is, that footage alone will destroy her, it shows you telling her that you know what she did, how she tried to play mind games with me to try and play on my insecurities to split us up and her response is to try and emotionally blackmail you" I say coldly, "but I think you should only do that as a last resort, if she doesn't get the message, or if the interview doesn't produce the results we need," I add.

"But what if she makes it clear I gave her mixed signals - that I manipulated her, which I did... to protect you," he says.

I shrug, "That's her word against yours. You know and I know that you did that, but you need to stop feeling guilty about that and concentrate on what was actually said, you said to her all you could offer her was friendship, you told her categorically, that was all you could offer her, so you need to keep reiterating that, and the fact you are now married shoots any claim she makes to the contrary down in flames. You were just being a friend to someone who once meant something to you, that is all, so whatever she made up in her head about what could happen between you two is just that – in her head, we need to be a united front on this Gideon, we need to show the haters that they can't divide us, we are a team, you have my back and I have yours," I say.

I pause a moment and look him in the eye.

"And also remember the fact, in that footage she practically says she will try to kill herself again to punish you, which as I say we only use as a last resort, but that should shut her down once and for all if all else fails," I say coldly.

He thinks everything over and then looks at me, "Alright, let's do it," he says determinedly.

"Ok, the first thing is we need to do is prepare a statement to release giving your reaction when the press comes knocking, when the book is announced to get the ball rolling, that is what will be expected from you, and then we take it from there," I say.

I reach for the laptop and call up the word processing package and start to type, drafting out a short brief statement. It doesn't take me long to work out the basics of what I want to say as it won't be long or detailed and when I have finished I hand the laptop to Gideon to read what I have written.

"Well, what do you think?" I ask after I know he has finished but still hasn't said anything.

He looks up at me, "This is first class, this is brilliant Eva, seriously you need to come and work with me," he says.

I shake my head, "Don't, not now" I say warningly.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

_The next morning..._

I am sitting at my desk when the first Google alert of several, pings on my phone. I reach for it and smile as I see the announcement of the book Corinne is planning to write. Gideon and I had strategized for hours last night getting everything in place.

I read the announcement, Gideon was right it sounds like a leak rather than an official statement but not only that it is not at all flattering towards Corinne, it smacks of a desperate spurned lover who is telling the world just to get revenge and I wonder if the publishing company is aware of how this announcement looks. Then it dawns on me, it is an opinion tester, the book isn't written yet so they are putting this out there to see if there is the public appetite for such a book, and considering the fact Gideon is who he is, they are also probably trying to establish whether or not they are going to get sued for pursuing it!

Then another thought hits me, I know that Gideon owns a publishing company as part of his extensive portfolio, surely? I look it up it's not the same company, but I dig a little deeper and smile as I discover the company which Corinne has picked is a subsidiary of the publishing house Gideon owns, oh he is good.

I send him a text querying his involvement.

_**Just read the announcement for Corinne's book, did you have anything to do with how really bad it makes her sound?**_

There is a delay before he responds.

_**I may have had a word in an ear or two, and it may or may not have been passed on to the relevant parties.**_

I smile as I read it and then put my phone down.

A short while later I get another series of alerts and after looking, I find that the story of Gideon's response to the announcement of Corinne's book containing the brief statement I wrote for him is now all over the internet, it is short and to the point, exactly what would be expected of Gideon and which will make the interview he is planning to give, all the more impact.

I skim the first part of the article as it just goes over what I already know, that Corinne is writing a kiss and tell book about her time with Gideon, I stop and carefully read the part containing the response from Cross Industries.

'..._ it is obvious that Gideon Cross isn't happy with this development, and we can't help but wonder what is motivating Mrs Giroux, the timing of the 'announcement' of this book seems to be a little too convenient, appearing so soon after Cross announced that he had married his girlfriend Eva Tramell in a private ceremony in the Caribbean. _

_The response from Cross Industries has been swift and decisive, with this statement released within the last hour, it states; Mr Cross is saddened by the news that someone who he considered a close personal friend is now planning on exploiting private details of a relationship which ended many years ago for financial gain and wishes to offer no further comment on the matter.' _

That is perfect, the 'he wishes to offer no further comment' will push the media to try and get a further comment and that is what we are hoping for. A few moments later I get a text from Gideon.

_**Interview sorted, I'm live on channel 7 tomorrow morning**_

I smile and type my response.

_**So you went for that women's magazine programme, that has been after you for years, nice move, I'm impressed. **_

I have to say I am very impressed by his decision, he is deliberately going for the female audience, and also the target demographic for Corrine's book, it's a huge gamble but one which will pay off big time if he does this right, this programme is a high rating show which will influence a lot of people's view of this whole situation.

I put my phone away and settle down to work, but my day doesn't progress in the usual boring manner. In fact, as it progresses it is a little unusual, to say the least. First of all I barely start working when I am bombarded with congratulations and exclamations of 'why didn't you tell us?' from Will and Mark who crowd me in my cubicle, then I get a call from reception and I am surprised but very happy to hear Megumi, who has finally reappeared from her sick leave, she squeals excitedly down the phone and demands to know everything, whilst sidestepping my questions about her recent disappearance.

People who I have never spoken to before stop by my cubicle and congratulate me, and I don't have clue who some of them are, but I smile politely and thank them. But when I get a visit from Christine Field around mid-morning, who steps into my cubicle and perches on the edge of my desk, I know my day has well and truly entered the realms of the surreal.

"Eva," she says as she enters my cubicle.

"Oh hello," I say, I know what this is about, Gideon's announcement on Sunday that we are married and today's developments with Corinne's book is clearly making me a focus of everyone's attention.

"Why didn't you tell us you were married?" Christine asks.

I smile, "we eloped, and so we wanted to inform our families of what we had done before announcing the news publicly, which is why we went the route of engagement, to begin with," I say robotically parroting the phrase which has been passing my lips all morning, it sounds like a reasonable excuse.

"So, the night at the gala when you introduced Gideon as your fiancé, he was actually your husband at that point?" she says.

"Yes, that's right, but my father lives in California, and obviously we didn't want him to find out we were married over the internet which would probably have happened had I introduced Gideon as my husband at the gala, and we had already planned to go and see my dad on Saturday which was the earliest opportunity that we could manage, to tell him face to face, as Gideon and I didn't want to tell him over the phone" I say.

This is stretching the truth somewhat, but again sounds a plausible explanation, but it is also somewhat ironic as my mother had been informed over the phone, whilst we were in California, this again forcibly reminds me that I need to call my mother and arrange to see her, as she has been unnervingly quiet since our return.

"Does this mean you will be leaving us?" Christine asks.

I remember her asking the same thing at the gala and I give her the same answer again.

"I have no plans to be going anywhere," I say, "I love my job here" I add for good measure.

Christine beams at me and I know that her reaction isn't because I am planning on staying, what she is so obviously delighted about is the idea that her company employs the wife of _the_ Gideon Cross and the potential business that could bring them considering how huge Cross Industries is.

"Well many congratulations," she replies, I thank her politely and watch as she lifts herself from my desk and disappears.

I wonder if my new surname will have any effect on how I am treated moving forward. If the events of this morning are anything to go by then the answer to that is a resounding yes. I sigh and return my attention to the marketing campaign I am putting together. As I submerge myself in my work my desk phone rings. I fail to notice it is an internal call and say my standard greeting.

"Good Morning Mark Garrity's office Eva Tra... Eva Cross speaking," I say.

I hear a giggle, "Getting used to your new name!" I smile at Megumi's light tone.

"Hi, Megumi, what's up?" I say.

"Do you want to grab some lunch so we can catch up properly?" she asks.

"Sure" I reply easily, I want to find out why Megumi was off sick and if she is really ok now, she looked well enough this morning when I saw her and she sounds ok.

Twelve o'clock comes around and I grab my purse and head out, "Ready?" I ask as I approach Megumi's desk and she nods, Claire, Megumi's lunchtime cover arrives and we head out.

"So, what was wrong?" I ask bluntly as we step into the elevator.

"Oh I had the flu," she says dismissively, "I'm so sorry I didn't return your calls, but I felt so ill, I just wanted to hibernate and pretend the rest of the world didn't exist," she says.

I smile and nod in agreement, "I know what you mean, I am totally anti-social when I am sick," I say.

As we exit the elevator I stop dead as I see Gideon in the lobby, he is talking to one of the security guards, he turns his head and sees me and his gaze softens and he immediately excuses himself and walks towards us.

"Eva," he purrs and presses a hungry kiss to my lips.

"Hi Ace," I whisper into his mouth as I kiss him back.

I pull away from him and he glances at Megumi, "Gideon this is my friend and work colleague Megumi Kaba" I say, "Megumi, my husband Gideon Cross" I add surprised at the thrill it gives me to say those words and by the reaction Gideon gives, he too is affected by my introduction.

Gideon holds out his hand, "Pleased to meet you Megumi" he says politely, and then he turns his attention back to me, "I have sent a list of social engagements to your email, naturally you will be accompanying me so you need to be aware of them, but we will discuss that later, I'll let you get on, enjoy your lunch," he says and he bends to kiss me once more, not a friendly chaste peck but a full on passionate embrace, which has me going slightly weak.

He pulls away and strides towards the elevator. As I watch him go I wonder if he engineered that seemingly innocent coincidental encounter, and I look up at little domes in the ceiling concealing the security cameras.

"Wow" Megumi gasps as she watches him leave, "You are one lucky bitch to go home to that at night!"

My smile gets bigger, "I know" I say dreamily.

As we are eating our lunch, I look at Megumi, she has been pumping me for information regarding our wedding, why we eloped and also about the announcement today of Corinne and her book, and if I am honest it is irritating me, she is relentless, I know she likes the gossip and she has always probed for information on Gideon and I and sometimes pushed a little too hard to get it but Jeez anyone would think she has been paid to get information out of me... I freeze at that errant thought, surely not?

I am careful about what I tell anyone about Gideon but it doesn't stop me going over everything I have said when I am happy I haven't said anything which I wouldn't want to be repeated and distorted in the media I throw the questioning back on Megumi.

"So how's the blind date? Still harassing you after you ended things with him?" I ask casually.

She shakes her head, "I haven't heard from him, it's like he has fallen off the face of the earth, which is totally what I wanted, but all the same, I can't help but feel a little bit sad," she says.

"Oh never mind, plenty more fish and all that, and remember you ended it because he was an asshole," I say.

She nods but doesn't look convinced by that.

The rest of the day continues without any issues, and when 5 o'clock comes around I stand and stretch, I am beginning to wonder if I am coming down with the flu Megumi had or something, as once again I feel totally drained, I need to pull it together as I am planning to go to Krav Maga tonight, perhaps that will help. I power down my computer and grab my purse and walking shoes from my drawer.

I poke my head around Mark's door, "I'll be off then" I say.

He looks up from his screen and smiles at me, "yeah sure, see you tomorrow Eva" he says, I turn to leave when he calls to me, "Eva."

I look over my shoulder at him and his face is serious, "You know Steve, Shawna and I are always here for you... just remember that," he says.

I nod, "I know and thanks" I reply and leave without another word.

I'm sure his concern stems from the fact Gideon and I have married so quickly, in fact, I'm certain that there are many people who are thinking it's too soon, and that I am making a huge mistake. That Gideon and I haven't known each other long enough to be embarking on marriage together and Mark, in particular, has had a grandstand view of just how volatile our relationship has been. I am touched that he cares enough to make it clear he and his family will always be on hand for support.

I step into the elevator and I am surprised when only the top floor lights up and the car starts going up. I shake my head and smile, I guess my husband wants to see me before I disappear for the evening, this makes me even more convinced our little encounter earlier wasn't as casual as it looked.

The doors open into the vestibule of Cross Industries and standing waiting near the elevator is Gideon, I walk into his arms and he holds me tightly.

"I wanted to see you before you left for the day," he whispers.

"Good, because I wanted to see you too" I reply giving him a little squeeze.

I look up at him, "How long are you going to be?" I ask.

He sighs "about another hour at least," he says, I can tell he is irritated by that, I reach up and cup his jaw.

"Hey, do what you have to do, you have your empire to run and I get that," I say, "don't worry about me, I'm off to my Krav Maga class now, so by the time I'm done you probably will be too," I say.

He nods and his hands run restlessly over me, "We'll go out for dinner" he states and I nod.

"I'd like that" I reply and he leans down and kisses me.

I reluctantly leave him and step into the elevator. As I leave the Crossfire, I see Angus waiting at the kerb for me.

"Good Evening Mrs Cross," he says politely as he holds open the door of the Bentley, I climb in wishing Gideon was climbing in with me.

**oooOOOooo**

"Well done Eva, you are on fire tonight, marriage must agree with you!" Parker says with a grin as I pull him to his feet once more, that is the second time I have taken him down tonight, but it is taking every bit of effort and focus I have to do so.

"It must" I agree, "Want to go again?" I ask, secretly hoping he says no, or to wait a while.

"In a few moments, go and hydrate and then we'll try something new," he says.

I nod and make my way over to the bleachers and pull out my water bottle, taking a long pull on it and I wipe my face with my towel as I take a moment, I stiffen at a familiar voice behind me.

"Hello Eva, I believe congratulations are in order."

I turn to face Det Shelley Graves, she is smiling at me, and I panic slightly, she has obviously heard the announcement that we have married and it has to look suspicious, I try and maintain a casual response.

"Thank you it was a spur of the moment thing," I say with a shrug.

She looks intently at me, she had told me previously that she had moved on to other cases and that she wasn't pursuing Nathan's murder any more, but she had also told me that she had a hunch Gideon was behind it, a hunch which was totally correct.

From what I had seen, I know that Shelly Graves was a good cop and she believed in justice so I was now naturally more than a little nervous that our sudden wedding and marriage so soon after she let me know of her hunch was sending alarm bells ringing. I take another long gulp of my water and keep silent, waiting for her to make the next move.

"How's Ben Clancy?" she asks me casually.

I'm initially thrown by the question and frown, "He's fine, he is outside waiting for me actually, my mom worries about me and so my step dad gets Clancy to bring me here so she doesn't worry so much" I say, inwardly cringing at my elaborate explanation.

Det Graves nods, "yeah I saw him in his car as I came in," she says.

I wonder where this is going and as I push my bottle and towel back into my bag she speaks again.

"It's funny you know, one of the Fed's I spoke to regarding the Yedemsky case also had the last name Clancy" she says, and I freeze my mind quickly putting two and two together, remembering previously when Clancy told me he had a brother who was in the FBI.

"Do you think they are any relation?" she asks innocently.

I stare at her, "What?" I ask, totally shocked by what she has just said.

She smiles and shrugs, "probably not, anyway I'll let you get back to your work out," she says and walks away.

For the rest of the session, my mind is reeling and Parker asks me what has happened to the girl who was on fire only a few moments ago.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm getting tired," I say, which isn't a total lie.

Parker smiles at me "then it's time to call it a night, you did well tonight Eva" he says.

"Thank you," I say.

I grab my belongings and leave the gym. Outside Clancy is waiting for me in Stanton's car. I climb in and he looks at me in the mirror.

"Is everything okay Eva?" he asks, and I realise I am still scattered from my encounter with Det Graves and it must be showing on my face.

"It was you," I blurt out without thinking.

His eyebrows raise and he looks at me questioningly, "It was me who did what?" he asks mildly.

"The evidence... Nathan Barkers death" I whisper.

His face immediately shutters and he looks away and starts the car, we ride in silence for a few moments and then he speaks.

"Yes it was," he says quietly, as he glances at me through the rear view mirror.

"Thank you," I say sincerely my voice full of gratitude, "but why did you do it?" I ask I find myself leaning forward eager to find out.

Clancy sighs, his gaze now focussed on the road, but then he starts to speak.

"The night Cross killed Barker, I was out keeping tabs on him, Barker that is, since your mother first saw him at the Crossfire that day, and then after he attacked Cary it was necessary. While I was staking him out, my police scanner picked up the emergency call for a fire at Cross's hotel, I had made it my business to know that he had an event on there that night so I was more than surprised when I saw Cross going to Barkers hotel. The man was clearly on a mission and it attracted my attention, I was curious so I followed him..."

He pauses for a moment, "He had no idea I was there and he was careful, very careful, he checked and double checked everything, to make sure he wasn't seen but he failed to notice me, because well... it's my job not to be seen at times! I was impressed at how well he had obviously organised it all, I watched and I saw him do it, I saw him kill Barker, it was quick, clinical and to be honest very well executed. I won't lie to you Eva I was shocked, it takes a special kind of person to be able to kill another human being in cold blood and I never took Cross to be that type of person, but was I sorry he did it?... no not at all because Barker didn't deserve to breathe the same air as everyone else after what he did to you but I was kind of impressed that Cross had taken it upon himself to rid you of him" he pauses again.

"I took the bracelet from Nathan's wrist, because I had noticed that Cross had caught his arm on it, when he stabbed Barker so there could be his DNA and possibly clothing fibres on it and a few of the photo's Barker had were on the floor they must have fallen out his pocket so I picked those up as well, initially I was going to destroy them, but when the police started sniffing around, they were circling around Stanton and I was worried they would try and pin it on him somehow, and the man was totally innocent and I knew that those items I had were the key to have them directed elsewhere, so I thoroughly cleaned the bracelet and the photographs and then I contacted my brother and explained what I needed and what I had, he said he would take care of it for me and he did, he planted the photos and the bracelet on Yedemsky's body, knowing that the NYPD was working with the feds on that case, but don't worry my brother doesn't know it was Cross who killed Barker, in fact, he thinks it was me," he stops speaking and looks carefully at me in the mirror.

"Thank you," I say gratefully again and he nods.

"I did what I did, initially, out of loyalty for my employer, but it also had the side effect of helping you and Cross which I am also totally ok with, as I've told you before, you are more than a job Eva, and you deserved to be free of Barker, he was a cancer on humanity and after what you went through with him you deserved to be free of him once and for all".

He glances at me once more through the rear view mirror "Can I ask, how did you know, how did you find out?" he says.

"Det Graves was at my Krav Maga class and she came to me to speak to me, regarding her suspicions" I say.

Clancy's eyes widen "What did she say to you?" he asks but he doesn't seem afraid or worried about this development.

I tell him what Det Graves said tonight and also what she had said previously about how she believed Gideon was involved, I tell him how afraid I am that she will reconsider her decision to drop the case, but also how I get mixed signals from her almost as if she is trying to protect us and help us at the same time and how that is making me worry even more because I don't know if it's some kind of act to try and get me to slip up and reveal something which will incriminate Gideon.

I pause for breath and glance up and much to my surprise Clancy is smiling at me in the mirror, he clearly doesn't share my concern over Det Graves or worry what her motives are.

"Are you not worried about Det Graves and what she is going to do?" I ask.

Clancy's smile gets wider and he shakes his head.

"No Eva, I'm not because you don't have anything to worry about regarding Det Graves, trust me on this one, she believes just as we do that Nathan Barker was a parasite and got exactly what he deserved, and she has more reason than most to think that way and to be sympathetic towards you" he says.

I stare at him wondering what he means by that, "What are you saying?" I ask.

He sighs and focussing his gaze on the road once more he explains why. "Shelley Graves used to work for the LA PD, she transferred quite suddenly to New York, she takes a keen interest in self-defence, those two things alone raised questions, so I did a little digging on her when I knew she was on the case, its buried pretty deep but she has a history, not unlike yours Eva, she was attacked and raped at a young age, she transferred to New York when her rapist was released from prison, so I am confident that she won't act on her hunch about Cross, because she has empathy for you and what you suffered at Barkers hands".

My mouth hangs open and I nearly expire on the spot at this news, this answers all my questions as to why Shelly Graves behaved the way she did, why she tipped me off about her hunch on Gideon being responsible, why she had told me I should be thanking him for what she assumed he had done, why she always seemed to be sympathetic towards me, why she seemed to always be protecting Gideon, separately all unlinked but now knowing what I do, it all now seems to fall into place and now with the benefit of hindsight I look at recent events, it all becomes clear she _was_ helping me and Gideon and tonight she was telling me what had happened but not to warn me that she was going to dig a bit more, but to give me closure on the whole episode, to set my mind at rest.

I barely notice as the car comes to a halt outside the Penthouse. Clancy is watching me carefully as I climb out, I'm stunned my mind is reeling from all this. He rolls down the window and looks up at me as I stand on the sidewalk.

"We will never speak of this again, as far as I am concerned it never happened" he says.

I nod, "Ok."

I lean forward and touch his arm through the open window as he turns to drive away, he looks up at me once more.

"Thank you" I whisper, he simply nods, I remove my hand, the window rolls back up and he pulls away.

I'm not sure how I get up to the Penthouse, I am in a daze and as I open the door Gideon is standing there waiting for me, he looks at me carefully and frowns and I silently walk into him and grip him tightly, he is initially surprised at my reaction and then concerned.

"Eva, what is it? What's wrong?" he asks pulling me gently away from him. He stares down at me the concern and love evident in his eyes and it pushes me over the edge and to my complete surprise I burst into tears.

His reaction is immediate, he hauls me off my feet and into his arms and carries me to the sofa and sitting he arranges me on his lap and pulls me close.

"Talk to me angel, what's happened?" he asks.

I sniff and pull him closer, and I begin to tell him the events of tonight from beginning to end.

"So that's everything," I say eventually.

"I see" he says, I know this has thrown him, and I have no doubt he will be contacting Clancy personally and talking to him at some point.

"So it's really over?" I ask, my head still buried in his chest.

I feel him relax a little, "Yes, it's really over" he replies.

"Thank god!" I whisper and cling on to him even tighter.

"Hey, are you sure that's all that's wrong, it isn't like you to be so tearful?" Gideon looks carefully at me and I can tell he is thrown by my out of character behaviour.

"I'm fine, I have no idea why I broke down like that, probably the relief that you are going to be ok" I say.

Gideon thinks about that and then nods, "we will be ok Angel" he says firmly in that tone of voice which brooks no argument.

I reach for him and press a small kiss to his lips, he groans and immediately responds taking over the kiss and pulling me close, then he lifts me and carries me to the bedroom, all the while kissing me passionately.

When he eventually pulls free we are both panting for breath and for each other, and he moves to remove my t shirt, I put my hand out.

"I'm all sweaty" I say with a half hearted protest and a smile plays on his lips and he ignores me and carries on undressing me.

Then he quickly and methodically removes his own clothes and scooping me up into his arms carries me to the bathroom and into the shower which he quickly turns on.

The next thing I know, is when I smell my shower soap and feel his hands roaming all over me, I moan at the feel of him touching me and caressing my body, I feel him step closer to me and I feel his warm breath on my neck. I close my eyes and allow the pleasure of his touch to overwhelm me.

When he has finished he turns the shower off and steps out, I open my eyes in shock at being left without a word, but a moment later he returns with a huge fluffy white towel and wraps it around me and with aching care I am once more in his arms and being carried back to the bedroom.

"A girl could get used to this" I say with amusement.

I see him smile and he still doesn't say a word as he thoroughly dries me and then discarding the towel arranges me to his liking on the bed.

I smile up at him in amusement, "so now you have me here all squeaky clean and dry what are you going to do with me?" I ask.

He looms over me his erection bobbing under its own weight, and my eyes fall on it, he notices and runs his hand up and down it and leaning down he kisses me and nuzzles against my ear, "I'm going to make you all dirty again" he whispers seductively and I melt.

"Gideon," I say and I reach for him, in a flash he grabs my hands and pins them above my head.

"No, not yet, let me touch you... worship you... love you" he says kissing me between each word.

I moan as he makes his way down my naked body peppering me with kisses, he spends time on each breast, kissing them and gently kneading them with his fingers and playing with my nipples until they are hard and sensitive... very sensitive.

"Gideon" I moan again, writhing beneath his unhurried touch and as he moves lower, my breathing increases and becomes more laboured.

"Shh Angel" he says and then I feel his tongue on my thigh licking and kissing, he moves closer and closer and my thighs instinctively fall open wider to give him better access, I feel his finger idly circling my clit and teasing it, and before I can say anything that finger moves inside me, it is joined by another and then a third and he is moving his fingers rhythmically inside me, my hips move in tandem thrusting myself shamelessly into his hand.

"Angel" he whispers and then I feel his tongue circle my clit and I let out a cry of pleasure, he removes his fingers only to replace them with his tongue searching and exploring, I can feel myself getting closer, the building heat deep inside and the need for release.

"Gideon please" I beg, "I'm going to come,"

"Not yet," he says and continues to tease me with his tongue.

"I can't, I'm going to come" I beg and with a rush I can't control my orgasm hits me, I cry out and before I can recover I feel his tongue and fingers have gone and I feel the head of his cock pushing at my entrance, I wrap my hands around his ass and pull him closer, needing to feel him inside me.

I hear the familiar sigh he breathes out as he enters me, and it almost pushes me over the edge once more.

"Gideon," I say and he circles his hips, pushing further in, I lift mine to meet his thrusts and to pull him further in, desperate for every inch of him.

"Take me, take all of me" he says hoarsely and thrusts again.

"Yes" I say, and pull him towards me once more as he thrusts again pushing further and further in, but I still don't have all of him, I can feel him hitting the very end of me but I still want more, he shifts suddenly and getting up onto his knees he lifts my hips angling me so I can take the final inch, and he moans as he finally gives me every last bit of him. I am filled too full but the feeling is exquisite as he circles his hips and starts to move.

"Oh god yes," I say as he moves with purpose thrusting in and out, hitting that bundle of nerves deep inside me which drives me insane.

It's a slow pace in and out he is in no hurry, but I can feel myself building once more, I dig my nails in his ass then dragging my hands up his back I dig them in again, this produces a growl and an increase in pace, I meet him thrust for thrust and digging my nails in again this excites him even more.

"Grip me, Angel, grip me tightly, and make me come" he growls as he thrusts with purpose now, I have noted the change, he is chasing his own release now and I feel myself tighten around him, milking him.

"God that's so good, that feels so good," he hisses as he continues to piston into me.

I tighten around him again, I'm almost there, "I'm going to come" I gasp out, "Gideon" I say as yet another orgasm explodes through me, and after a couple more thrusts he stills, holding himself deep inside me and a loud groan fills the air.

"Eva...fuck!" he gasps as I feel the heat of his violent eruption inside me.

I look up and see him, his is head thrown back and his eyes shut tight and he has a look of complete blissful pleasure on his face, it's a sight I will never tire of seeing and it never ceases to amaze me that it's me who has produced that.

"Eva" he breathes as he starts to move his hips again, he is moving freely now with the slickness of his and my orgasm, I smile as I note he is still hard.

He lowers his head and searching for my mouth, he kisses me with a searing passion which sets my blood on fire once more.

"I love you" he whispers into my mouth, I pull him even closer, savouring those words he said so rarely, but which are coming more frequently nowadays.

"I love you too" I reply.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

**(GIDEON)**

_The next day..._

I watch Eva sleeping, I was terrified when she came home and broke down in front of me, she is normally so stoic and not prone to emotional outbursts, it soon became apparent what had happened and I quickly realised that the emotion that was pouring from her, was probably down to a release of profound relief at finally knowing for sure, who had planted the evidence to exonerate me, and that it wasn't done with the intention of blackmail at a later date, and secondly, the knowledge that Det Graves also probably wasn't out to pursue her hunch and that she was possibly more empathetic to Eva's situation than she could let on.

I will be contacting Ben Clancy personally to let him know that I know, and to thank him for intervening, I am shocked and surprised that he saw me and it goes to show that no matter how careful I believed I was and how I thought nobody had seen me, someone had, but thankfully it was someone who also had Eva's best interests at heart. But the thought that my actions could have resulted in me being separated from Eva for years, possibly forever is sobering.

I brush my hand over Eva's brow, I love her more than anything, I smile, I would do anything for her and that is no idle boast, I push the thoughts of ending Nathan Barker from my mind and think about what I am going to be doing today, which isn't even in the same ballpark, but just as unbelievable considering my usual M.O. Today I am going to be sitting in a TV studio with some god awful women talking about my former relationship with Corinne and this damned book she is insistent on writing. I, Gideon Cross, am giving a personal interview – my first ever personal interview! I snort at the very prospect and shake my head, I wouldn't do this for anyone else, but the indications from the media coverage of this situation so far show that Eva's thoughts were correct, and they perceive Corinne as a desperate ex who is unwilling to let go and who is jealous that her former lover has moved on and hopefully doing this should seal that opinion.

I sip my coffee and consider the other task I have to do today, Eva wants to talk to her mother face to face, after Victor forced her to call her mother and tell her about our marriage, I know that she feels bad that her mother found out that way. But with everything that has happened since we returned from San Diego she just hasn't had the chance to do so, something which I am going to rectify for her today. She said we need to be a team, a united front, well I will step up and help her out with her mother as part of team Cross. I smile as I think about that, as I place the second mug on the nightstand next to Eva. I watch, amused as her nose twitches as she smells the freshly brewed coffee and slowly she starts to awaken. She opens her eyes, and they fall on the steaming mug, she looks around and smiles at me.

"Morning Ace," she says as she reaches instinctively for the mug.

"Good morning Angel mine," I say as I continue to sip my own drink.

When she has finished, she stretches and pushing the covers back she climbs out of bed and pausing only to place a small kiss on my head, she disappears into the bathroom. I immediately stand and follow her, ridding myself of the pyjama bottoms I'd slipped on and freeing my very aroused cock.

I follow her into the shower and stand behind her, I reach for the shower soap and lather up my hands before gently rubbing them over Eva's body, I hear her moan and it excites me, I feel myself becoming even more aroused.

"Turn around Angel," I say hoarsely and she obeys, turning to face me she grabs the soap and lathers her own hands and places them on my chest. Mirroring my movements she runs her hands all over me, moving lower until she has my now ramrod stiff cock in her hand, she looks up at me and I know immediately what she is going to do. She doesn't disappoint as she lowers herself to her knees and leans towards me. I close my eyes and grip the back of her head as she swallows me.

I let out a strangled moan as she lovingly laps and sucks me, her tongue circles the head of my cock and the sensation drives me wild. Then she licks the vein all the way down to the root and back up again, before engulfing me in her mouth, she starts to move with purpose, she hollows her cheeks and sucks hard as she moves up and down my cock.

I feel myself building but I don't want to come in her mouth I want to bury myself inside her, but it seems my Angel has other ideas, as I try and move she grips the back of my thighs and continues to suck on me until I explode in her mouth. I grip her hair and stiffen as I feel myself empty, and she swallows everything I give her. When I am finally done she licks me clean with her tongue making me hard again almost immediately.

I pull her to her feet and press her against the wall of the shower, "my turn angel" I whisper as my mouth heads down her body.

She moans and opens her legs wider for me and as my tongue touches her clit she grips my hair and pulls me closer.

"Oh god Gideon" she moans as I continue to probe her with my tongue. I push two fingers inside her and begin to move them and she bucks her hips towards me.

"Gideon" she moans and I smile against her, she is close, really close and I am like stone once more, I make her come in a rush and she screams out my name, I barely give her chance to recover when I lift her and wrapping her legs around me I plunge into her.

I sigh as I feel her insides grip me and I start to move, slowly at first to allow a deeper penetration of her, slowly her body accepts me and pulls me in and I circle my hips thrusting deeper.

"Oh god," she says again and it spurs me on to thrust harder.

"Oh god yes," she says and meets me thrust for thrust, I feel her building once more and I know she is close, I take her over the edge and as the familiar clenching around me spurs me to chase my own release, I thrust harder until I come in a rush. I grip her close, pushing me even deeper inside and I hold myself there as I give her everything I have.

"Angel" I pant as I regain my senses.

I gently pull out of her and set her on her feet, making sure to steady her, then I reach for a washcloth and gently clean her, we wash each other once more and then reluctantly leave the shower.

"So, what time do you have to be at the studio?" Eva asks as she glances at the clock on the kitchen wall as she puts our mugs in the sink and fills the travel mugs with more coffee.

"9:30" I reply.

"Ok, I've set the show to record so we can watch it together, tonight," she says.

I smile and nod, I'm not looking forward to this, but I know it is necessary, and hopefully will have the desired effect of shutting down Corinne and Deanna fucking Johnson once and for all.

Angus drops Eva off at the Crossfire and as I step out of the car and hold my hand out to my wife, I spot a pap in a car across the road, so I give him something to photograph and as Eva steps out I pull her to me and kiss her passionately, she responds immediately her hands moving to my hair and I press one hand on her ass and the other I secure around the nape of her neck.

I pull away and she gasps, "What brought that on?" she asks and then she spots the car pulling away and realisation dawns on her face.

"You were giving the paps something worth photographing," she says.

I nod, "With a little bit of luck the photos will be circulating by the time I go into the interview."

She grins, "You are a very sneaky and manipulative man," she says and presses another kiss to my lips.

As she pulls away, I remember something, and reach into my pocket and pull out an elevator key similar to mine which I've had made for her.

"This is for you Angel, plug it in, like you have seen me do with mine and it will take you directly to the 20th floor," I say as I press it into her hand.

"And one more thing, I have called your mother, I know it is bothering you that you didn't get to tell her face to face about us, so I have arranged that she joins us for lunch today at 1 pm in my office, I believe Stanton will be also there, don't worry about this Angel, I will handle her – we are a team, remember!"

Her eyes whip up from the key she is studying as soon as I mention her mother and at first, she looks panicked at the mention of seeing her mother, but then a large smile fills her face. Her fingers close around the key.

"Team Cross" she whispers almost to herself and then she returns her full attention to me "Thank you" she replies simply, and with that, she turns and disappears inside.

I glance at Angus who is watching me with affection in his eyes.

"Let's go," I say and climb back into the Bentley.

When we arrive at the TV station, I am greeted by a woman with a clipboard, she greets me kindly and ushers me into a small room, and asks me if I want anything to drink, I refuse, and I sit down on the comfortable sofa and pull out my phone. I busy myself checking my emails and conducting what business I can from this small room. Arranging to do this interview has punched a hole in my day, it is time I can ill afford to lose with my schedule, but this is personal, this is for my wife and my wife always comes first, before anything.

As I am thinking about Eva a text from her comes through.

_**Go get 'em Ace x**_

I smile as I read it, but I also know a lot rides on this, I need to do this well, I have covered as many bases as I can think of with my preparation for this interview, but I am not afraid to admit I am a long way out of my comfort zone by just being here.

"Mr Cross we are ready for you now." The woman with the clipboard says and I stand and she escorts me to the studio where the hosts are waiting, three women who I will sit with and they will ask me questions and I will answer, in hopefully the correct manner.

"Mr Cross," A tall blonde strides towards me her hand outstretched and she is flanked by an equally tall brunette and a slightly smaller redhead, the redhead sends a shiver down my spine as she forcibly reminds me of Anne Lucas, but the encounter also reminds me to ask Raul and Angus if they have managed to come up with anything on the woman who harassed Eva at the gala, who she believed was Anne Lucas.

"Good morning," I say, my impassive CEO mask sliding effortlessly into place, I am offered a seat and the brunette quickly introduces the hosts.

"I'm Jennifer I will be leading the interview and this is Marlene and Deborah," she says her hand sweeping between them.

I nod my understanding and a technician appears to attach a microphone to me, I glance up and look at the waiting audience, the majority are women so I need to do this right.

The lights come up and the theme music starts, the crowd leaps into life clapping and whooping. A floor manager is directing proceedings and points to the brunette.

"Good morning New York and this morning on the show we have a really special guest, this is a huge coup for us here at Daybreak, in what we believe is his first personal interview ever" she glances towards me for confirmation and I nod, "we have the enigmatic multi-billionaire Gideon Cross joining us to talk about recent events which have dominated the press about his personal life."

She turns towards me, "Mr Cross, it is an honour to have you here today, and thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to come and join us, and for choosing us for your first ever personal interview."

I lean back and take a gulp of the coffee which had been set in front of me.

"Call me Gideon and it's my pleasure, my wife persuaded me that it would be a good idea as this is one of her favourite shows" I say smoothly.

It's not the total truth, but Eva had assured me I would get a fair hearing on this show and it was one she admitted to always making a point of catching if she were available, plus she assured me the audience it attracted was the correct demographic we were aiming to reach.

The three women laugh at that and the brunette leans forward, "Is your wife watching today?" she asks.

I shake my head, "sadly not, she is at work today, but she made a point of setting the recorder so she could watch it tonight" I say.

The three hosts laugh again, and the blonde leans forward to speak, "Yes, it seems congratulations are in order, you announced on Sunday that you recently married your girlfriend, Eva Tramell, who is the stepdaughter of mega financier Richard Stanton, whilst in the Caribbean?" she says.

As she does so the picture of me kissing Eva on the beach as we exchanged our vows is flashed up, there is an immediate reaction from many of the women in the crowd.

I turn and look at the picture, letting my mask slip as I lay eyes on the picture, another is shown, a very intimate and personal one after I had just kissed her and our foreheads were touching, I am cupping her face and she is holding my wrists, her ring catching the light, I had offered this to be shown as the love between us is palpable at the moment this was taken and in some ways is a far more powerful an image than the one of me kissing her.

"Wow," the redhead says as she looks at it.

I smile, "Wow, indeed, I have been thinking that word a lot since Eva came into my life," I say my voice filled with the love and affection I feel for my wife.

The blonde seems to pull herself together, "So it must have come as a huge shock for you when just a day later, your ex-fiancé, who has recently returned to New York announced she was writing a book about your time together with her?"

My eyebrows rise, she doesn't mess about, she goes straight for the jugular, and I sigh and shake my head.

"I won't lie it was, don't get me wrong, I don't mind one way or the other about anything that Corinne wants to say about me, as long as it's the truth, but I can't think why it is suddenly important to her to do this now, as our relationship ended many years ago when she broke our engagement and married Jean Francois Giroux".

I stop and take another drink of the coffee and let that sink in before I continue.

"However, as I'm sure you can appreciate, it isn't very pleasant for my wife to have people from my past suddenly reappearing and then have to endure the rose-tinted memories of an ex, especially considering the timing of it barely a week after we married," I pause again and take another gulp of the coffee.

"Plus it is one of your companies who is publishing this book," the redhead puts in.

I shake my head, "Actually, it's not, it is true I have controlling interest in the parent company of this publishing house, but the company concerned is a subsidiary and I have no links whatsoever with it," I say.

"So you had no idea this was going to happen?" the blonde asks.

I nod, "No idea, it was as much as a surprise to me as to everyone else on Monday morning when the announcement came," I say, lying through my teeth.

"Naturally once I knew, I looked into who was involved in the book through my contacts with the parent company and discovered that Mrs Giroux approached them, as she was entitled to do and is working with a ghostwriter putting the book together," I wait hoping they will ask about the ghostwriter but they don't.

"What do you think was the catalyst for Mrs Giroux to decide to do this?" the brunette asks.

I shrug, "I have no idea, our relationship ended so long ago, so it seems strange to me that she should even consider doing this at all, plus the fact we were very young and immature when we were together, so I doubt the relationship would have lasted as we were too naïve at that time."

"How did the relationship with Mrs Giroux end, if you don't mind me asking?" the brunette says.

I shrug, "I don't mind, there was no animosity or acrimonious split, we simply realised it wouldn't work and went our separate ways" I say. The three women are hanging on my every word and I take a deep breath.

"As I said we were very young and immature and we quickly got engaged as it appeared to be the natural progression at the time, but it became apparent very quickly to both of us that, it had been a mistake, we drifted apart and as I have already said Corinne ended the relationship, she soon moved on with Jean Francois Giroux and eventually married him, I was happy for her and that was the end of it. She moved on with her life and so did I, but there was no bad feeling and we remained friends. Then I had just made my relationship with Eva public and it was clear that she was special to me, when I got word that Corinne was returning to New York and that her marriage was in difficulty and she was facing divorce. She returned to New York, and contacted me, we caught up and socialised as one does with old friends, although some parts of the media tried to make more of the association, but by that point in time I was deeply in love with Eva and I made it clear to Corinne right from the start that all I could offer her was friendship".

"So Mrs Giroux was hoping to rekindle a romantic relationship with you?" the blonde asks.

I shrug, "I have no idea what Mrs Giroux was hoping for, you would have to ask her that, when I met up with Corinne when she returned to New York, as part of catching up I told her I'd met someone, I told her I was in love and that Eva was very special to me, but I also made it clear that I would be there for her, as her friend, should she need anything."

"I see, but it was widely reported that you and Eva actually parted for a while, and the evidence in the media of the split was pretty compelling?" the redhead asks.

I nod, Eva and I had talked about how we were going to handle this if it came up, as I obviously couldn't disclose the real reason for our separation, so we had decided to focus on mutual insecurity and lack of communication as the cause, Eva said it was partly true as we definitely had a lack of communication at that time, and she had huge issues with Corinne and I had issues with Brett, and she had also said it made us seem real.

Plus she also pointed out that if Det Graves did have any lingering questions this was a perfect answer for her, especially as she had been present when Eva had made the call and ended things with me.

"Yes, we did, we had a misunderstanding, a lack of communication on both sides was the cause and it did, unfortunately, cause a temporarily split, but we learnt from it and moved on," I say.

"Did the misunderstanding have anything to do with Mrs Giroux reappearance or maybe the arrival of Brett Kline who it is alleged is an old flame of your wife?" the blonde asks bluntly.

I smile ruefully, "yes and yes, as I say it was a lack of communication, not to mention an unhealthy dose of the green eyed monster on both sides, Eva felt threatened by Corinne's reappearance as I had failed to adequately make the reality of my association with Mrs Giroux clear to her, and as a result she failed to communicate that insecurity she had to me, and I felt equally concerned by the reappearance of Brett Kline, both of us had our insecurities increased by the media coverage which made more out of the interactions we were having with our ex's but when we did eventually do the right thing and talk to each other about it, and resolved the issues we had, we realised just how stupid we had both been, and as a result it has only made us stronger."

There is another round of awww's from the audience at this.

"You say you failed to adequately make the reality of the association clear, what do you mean by that exactly?" the brunette asks.

I sigh, "Eva found out from someone else that Corinne and I were once engaged, whereas she should have been made aware of it by me and the full nature of the relationship, which was, as I have already said a few moments ago, that we were both very young, immature and possibly also quite naive at that point in time, we were fresh out of college where we had met and at that time it felt like the natural progression and we stepped into it without due consideration and thought of the enormity of the decision, Corinne asked me to marry her, and the reality was, I realised it was a huge mistake pretty much as soon as I'd agreed, and Corinne soon came to the same conclusion and we acted accordingly to rectify that mistake and we parted as friends and again as I have already said we both moved on, and soon afterwards she met Jean Francois and married".

I take another gulp of coffee, "Also, when Corrine returned to New York I was genuinely pleased to see her, as I say there was no hard feeling when we parted and she had been living in Europe for a number of years, so when she returned, I was happy to see her again and arranged to meet up with her socially, I naively failed to realise that certain parts of the media would make more of the reunion than what was actually happening, so when I was seen socialising with Corinne assumptions were made which were totally incorrect, and I also failed to realise the effect that would have on Eva, so I take full responsibility for my error of judgement and the repercussions of them, but I have also learnt from them and won't make the same mistakes again, I love my wife with all my heart and wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt her."

I stop and once more a chorus of awww's erupt from the audience along with a ripple of applause.

"There were also reports circulating that Mrs Giroux was recently hospitalised?" the brunette asks warily.

"Yes but that is not any of my business and I feel should not be speculated upon or discussed here," I say.

"It was also publicly reported and confirmed that Mrs Giroux suffered a miscarriage can you comment on that?" she pushes.

I sigh again, I'm getting more than a little irritated by this line of questioning, "My wife and I send the Giroux's our deepest condolences on their loss and I hope that the media will give them privacy to grieve, however, I don't want to make any further comment on that as it is none of my business to do so" I say automatically.

The three women smile and the blonde speaks this time and goes for the kill, "It was also reported that the cause of the miscarriage was due to Mrs Giroux attempted suicide, it is reported that she took an overdose, after she was made aware of your engagement, which we now know was actually when you married," she stops and looks straight at me.

I stiffen and pull myself straight, "I have no comment to make on that, and I cannot possibly be expected to surmise what Mrs Giroux intentions were, and I do not wish to answer any further questions on this subject, I am not responsible for what Mrs Giroux may or may not have done, so it is unfair to ask me for any comment on the matter, and also this line of questioning is totally inappropriate as Mrs Giroux isn't here to defend herself."

There is a round of applause at that and the blonde woman glances out towards the audience taking in their reaction and then returns to me.

"Let's move on," she says quickly, "Going back to the book, you said there was a ghostwriter involved?"

I nod once more, pleased we have got back on track, "yes, there is," I say curtly.

"That was very abrupt, do I take it from that you know the identity of the ghostwriter?" she pushes.

"I do" I reply equally curtly.

"I see and are you willing to share with us the identity of this person?" she asks.

I make a show of looking uncomfortable at this, and take a moment to shift in my seat then I sigh dramatically.

"I am not going to name the ghost writer here as it would be unfair of me to do so, but she and I had shall we say... a brief encounter many, many years ago, and recently she made quite a nuisance of herself when she repeatedly approached my wife for a story on me, it was during the time we were separated, and she tried to insinuate that I had used Eva to try and rekindle a relationship with Corinne, which is ridiculous as Eva and I were together long before Corinne returned to New York, but the timing of her remarks didn't do anything for Eva's insecurities on the matter, and she also tried to imply that I was abusive to Eva, after the footage of us having a disagreement at Brigant Park went viral and despite my wife repeatedly telling her to leave her alone and making it clear she had no comment to make, that woman continued to harass her for a number of weeks. So after the way she has recently behaved, I have the fear that her motives for taking this assignment may not be totally innocent," I stop speaking and wait the response to that.

All three women lean forward sensing a story, and the audience is also eerily quiet waiting for me to elaborate more.

"Look, at the time when I first met the woman concerned, I was a very young, free and single man, and like most very young, free and single men, my brain was sometimes located between my legs. I have a past, I sowed my wild oats, indulged in one night stands, whatever you want to call it. I want to make it crystal clear that I am not proud of the way I acted back then, but who I was then had no bearing on the man I am now, I was immature, but I grew up and now I am a happily married man and totally monogamous to my wife."

I pause again and then lean forward slightly to make my final point, "but I will say this, I know I behaved in a less than stellar manner and I am not proud of it, yes I participated in many casual sexual encounters, BUT and this is really important, everything I did participate in was totally consensual and I never _ever_ offered any unrealistic promises which could raise expectations for the women I got involved with," I say.

I stop and lean back into my seat as the audience breaks into another round of applause.

"You have been very honest, thank you for that," the blonde woman says, I have a feeling she is slightly shocked at my more than blunt and forthright explanation.

I incline my head slightly in acknowledgement, "I have no reason to lie, I, like everyone else in this room has a past, and whilst I am not proud of some of my past decisions and behaviour, it is what it is, I cannot change it so there is no point in trying to airbrush it way, as I have discovered recently, ones past does have a nasty habit of reappearing at inopportune times and when it does, it is best to acknowledge it and move on".

"So do you think this ghost writer has some sort of agenda based on revenge or a lingering hang up that nothing more happened with you?" the brunette asks.

I shrug, "I can't say, and at this moment I am choosing to believe that her motives are benign and that she is simply taking on Corinne's book as another job, but I also have to be aware that maybe is not the case".

The redhead leans forward to speak, "Going back to earlier, when you and your wife had your misunderstanding and separation, we have talked about the issues your wife had with Mrs Giroux, but what about the issues you admit you had with her old flame, Brett Kline?"

I feel my heart sink at this, I don't really want to answer questions about this, I work out carefully what I am going to say, "Brett's band, Six-Ninths recently signed with my step fathers company, Vidal Records, and Eva told me about her past casual involvement with Brett many years ago, it wasn't anything serious on her part, and as far as she was concerned they had both moved on, so it was somewhat of a shock to both of us when Brett made it public that the song Golden was allegedly about his relationship with her," I say.

"You were jealous?" the brunette asks.

I shake my head, "Maybe a little, but more than anything it just made me uncomfortable, I don't want to hear another man sing a song about his alleged love for my wife, but being in that position also makes me understand how it will be for Eva if Corinne goes ahead with this book, it will hurt her and I don't want my wife to hurt, what man wouldn't want to protect the person he loves".

The audience reacts to that comment with sighs and awww's and more applause.

"You are planning on a vow renewal in December, can I ask why and why so soon after the wedding?" the blonde asks.

I smile widely, "Eva and I eloped, we wanted a wedding that was just for us, and we told no one, we married on a beach with a minister and two witnesses, none of our family or friends were present, there was no media intrusion and it was just us, which is the way we wanted it, so the vow renewal is an opportunity for our families to feel included, so it is essentially for them so they don't feel left out" I say.

"Are your families happy for you?" the brunette asks.

I smile, "I believe so, I think they were a little surprised when we came back and announced we were married" I say cagily.

I think back to Victor's initial negative reaction, and Cary's less than warm reception to the news then there is the fact my mother hasn't even contacted me since I announced our marriage. I am assuming she is sulking because I didn't call her personally to tell her, I got a text of congratulations from Ireland which had moved me more than I thought it would, and I have had congratulatory messages from Magdalene and Arnoldo as well and my stepfather offered me his congratulations when I spoke with him.

"Finally a question which has been on everyone's mind since the announcement of your wedding and marriage to Eva, why so quickly, was there any particular reason for the rush?" she says mildly skirting around what she really wants to ask – is Eva pregnant?

I lean forward slightly, and drop my voice for emphasis and fill it with the love I feel for Eva, "When you find your soul mate, when you find the other half of you, the person you know instinctively that you can't live without and who you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start immediately", I say meaning every word, the brunette openly gapes at my words and the blonde lifts her hand to her chest and clutches at her heart and the audience goes into meltdown.

"Oh, that _is_ so beautiful," she says and glances towards the audience.

I ignore that remark and continue, "That is the only reason Eva and I married so quickly, no mystery and certainly no other reason, and I will say it now and put it on record, Eva is not pregnant".


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

**(EVA)**

I'm sitting at my desk, debating with myself whether or not I need a break, when my Google alert on my phone lets me know that the first reaction to Gideon's interview has probably hit the internet. I glance at my watch it's nearly 11:30, I quickly go through the timeline as I know it, Gideon had to be at the studio for 9:30 so I quickly estimate his interview was probably at 10 or even 10:30, and I'm not sure how long he spoke for so I don't know if this is an early reaction or they have taken their time before reporting, or it could be an alert on something else entirely.

That theory is soon dismissed though as my phone starts pinging constantly, something has got the news agencies riled up and whatever it is, is rapidly going viral considering the fact my phone is now pinging at me incessantly, letting me know that my email is being overrun. I smile, I am wondering what he said, and how long it has taken the news agencies to pick it up and run with it, but whatever it was, it has caused a big reaction.

I glance up towards Mark's office and I see he is not there, so I nervously reach for my phone and tentatively click on the first alert.

I am bombarded with articles from the various news websites, and at first glance it all looks quite positive, they are careful with what they say, but the message I am getting from all of them is a clear one, Corinne should leave Gideon alone and not proceed with her book as it makes her look classless and desperate. I click on social media and find Gideon and his interview trending on all the major sites.

The general consensus there is far blunter and to the point and definitely not as tactful as the news sites, but the message is the same and that appears to be, that Gideon is obviously in love with me and that I'm a lucky bitch to have him and I should hang on him, that part particularly made me smile, that people from his past should leave him alone, that he shouldn't be crucified for his past as everyone has one, that everyone makes mistakes as they grow up and that people who are now in his past are there for a reason, that the 'ghostwriter' should get a life and a real job and the best one as far as I'm concerned, which a lot of people seem to be saying, that Corinne should concentrate on her own marriage rather than try and wreck someone else's and she shouldn't think she could waltz back into Gideon's life when it suits her and pick up where she left off especially after she left him.

I smile as I read some of the more forthright comments, mission accomplished, and it appears to have been accomplished far better than I could have ever imagined. I hesitate, my thumb hovering over a link which will lead me to a shared video of Gideon's interview, which has been liked and shared many times, and which many people seem to be raving about, I am tempted to watch it and in the end, I press it.

It isn't the whole interview so I know that whatever he said will probably be taken out of context but this particular clip seems to be getting the most shares and likes and positive feedback, so that alone is making me curious, as I watch I hear the presenter ask him a question, asking why we married so quickly and I roll my eyes, she is fishing to find out if I am pregnant, as since we announced our marriage, there have been numerous rumours abound in the gutter press that Gideon married me so quickly, because he had made me pregnant.

I look at my tiny phone screen, carefully studying Gideon closely as his face softens at the question, I remember him once saying he couldn't hide how he felt about me and when he spoke about me how he felt was written all over his face, that is obvious as I watch him as he responds to the question.

"When you find your soul mate, when you find the other half of you, the person you know instinctively that you can't live without and who you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start immediately", he says and I gasp, the tears start rolling down my cheeks unchecked at that.

I watch as the camera pans to the presenter and she is equally moved by his declaration as she holds her hand to her chest and clutches at her heart and gasps, and the audience erupts into a series of gasps, and 'awws' and I hear one person above the rest shout 'oh my god that is so beautiful!' and I smile.

"Oh, thatis so beautiful" the presenter agrees, as she turns to look at the person in the audience as she pulls herself together.

I continue to watch, wondering what Gideon says next as he clearly wants to say something else, but as he opens his mouth to speak the clip ends, I wonder what he was going to say next, but I will find out tonight when I watch the interview in its entirety. I try and pull myself together, my hands are shaking and I am gripping my phone tightly. I reach for a tissue and wipe my eyes and face and put down my phone, taking a couple of deep breaths to compose myself.

I have just about regained my equilibrium when my desk phone rings and I quickly answer. "Good morning Mark Garrity's office, Eva Cross speaking," I say, impressed with how together that sounded when inside I am still quite scattered – but in a good way.

"Hey baby girl, your old man has kicked up one hell of a stink," My smile gets wider as I hear Cary's voice.

"Hey Cary," I say brightly.

"Have you seen the interview Cross gave this morning?" Cary asks.

I pause, I actually haven't seen it all so I respond with mostly the truth, "No, I'm going to watch it tonight with him, but my Google alert on Gideon has gone into overdrive, so I'm guessing he either did very good or very bad," I say, I am fishing to find out if Cary has seen it and what he thought.

His answer comes swiftly, "He killed it, there was a TV on at a shoot I did today and man, he was on fire, he owned it, and some of the things he said about you, god he's really got it bad for you," Cary says with a small laugh.

"Good, that's what I like to hear," I retort, an unconscious smile filling my face and a warm feeling flooding me as I recall his beautiful words, I return my attention back to Cary, "anyway, don't spoil it for me I want to see it for myself tonight," I add.

"Have you heard anything from that Corinne person since it aired?" he asks.

"No, why?" I ask a sliver of worry going through me at the change in his tone.

"You need to be careful baby girl, she didn't come out of it looking at all good, and if she is as unstable as she appears to be, I mean, he made her sound kind of desperate and pathetic," Cary warns.

"That was the whole idea, she is as unstable as she seems when she learnt Gideon was engaged she took an overdose of tablets, knowing that she was pregnant, who does that? She just wouldn't take no for an answer when Gideon told her there was no hope, and so she then came out with this book, just to spite him I think, that severely pissed him off, and well, you don't get on Gideon's bad side, the intention of this interview was to shut her down" I say.

"Well, he said he wasn't bothered for himself about the book, he didn't even sound interested, but he said he didn't want you to be hurt by it," he says.

"He said that?" I ask emotion welling up inside me once more.

"Yeah he did, he came across really well, he made it clear you were the only person for him and that he really loved you, he also admitted he had made mistakes not only in his past, but with you as well, and he wasn't bitchy, when the presenter tried to bait him over that Corinne woman, he refused to go there, and he stayed respectful about her, but he got his message across loud and clear, so if his intention was to shut her down, I would say it was mission accomplished, and from what I have seen the reaction online has been pretty conclusive, I don't think that book of hers will be seeing the light of day anytime soon," Cary says.

"Good" I reply, there is a brief moment of silence before Cary speaks again.

"In other news..." he begins warily, "is that offer still open for me to crash at Gideon's apartment?" he asks.

With everything that has happened since we came back from San Diego, I had totally forgotten about that.

"Yes, oh god Cary, I'm so sorry it totally slipped my mind with everything that has been going on, so you want to come and live there?" I ask my excitement rising.

"Well, if Cross is still agreeable to it, I'd at least like to come and have a look at the place, I have to say, the idea of having a Fifth Avenue address is kind of appealing," he says.

"No problem, also, I guess I'll be moving my stuff out of our place soon, now that we are officially married it looks a bit odd me having that place now, but Gideon is going to get some remodelling done on the penthouse, if you come and have a look at the apartment anything you want changing can be done at the same time," I say.

"Sounds good, I'll drop by later tonight if that's ok with you?" he asks.

"No problem, do you have any idea what time?" I ask.

"I have an evening shoot tonight, so it will be late, maybe 10ish – is that too late?" he asks.

"No that's fine," I say and after a few moments chatting we say our goodbyes. After he hangs up, I grab my phone and I quickly text Gideon to let him know, but before I can, I receive a reminder text from Gideon about our impending lunch date with my mother and Stanton.

_**Don't forget - lunch with your mother today in my office at 1 pm x**_

My response is immediate.

_**Ok **_

I hit send, then I send a second message regarding Cary's visit.

_**Cary is coming to see the apartment next door to your place tonight.**_

His reply is instant.

_**OUR place and**_ t_**hat's fine.**_

I smile as I read it, and I can't help but comment on the interview.

_**Cary said you owned the interview, and by the way my phone is pinging the whole internet feels the same way, so you did good I'm so proud of you and I love you x**_

I laugh as I read his response.

_**I live to serve, what time is Cary coming?**_

_**He said 10ish – he has a shoot this evening**_

_**Are you going to the gym or Krav Maga tonight?**_

_**I have a Krav Maga class, but I won't be gone long x**_

I see Mark approaching and I put my phone down and return to my computer screen.

"Hey, how's it going?" he asks.

"Nearly done," I say brightly.

We discuss the campaign we are working on for a few moments longer, and then Mark glances at his watch.

"I'm going to head out to lunch now, would you like to join me?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No if you don't mind I think I'm going to crack on with this, I'm in the groove at the moment and I want to get the ideas down before I go to lunch, plus I am meeting my mother and my husband for lunch at 1 o'clock" I say with a forced grin, which I fear looks more like a grimace as I think about the impending inevitable confrontation with my mother.

Mark smiles, "Oh I see, well no problem, but you'll be joining Stephen and I for our usual Wednesday lunch tomorrow won't you? I have been given strict instructions to inform you that there is no way on earth you are getting out of it after the announcement on Sunday," he rolls his eyes briefly at that and I giggle assuring him that I'll be there.

I watch as he leaves, and I return my attention back to my work.

A while later I sit back happy with what I have done when my stomach growls, I glance at my watch and see it is nearly 1 pm – nearly time to go and face the music, I rub my stomach and decide to leave it there. As I reach for my purse my desk phone rings, it's an internal call so I quickly lean forward and grab it.

"Hello, Eva speaking," I say.

"Eva, there is a man here in reception asking for you," Megumi says.

I sigh, "I'm just on my way out to lunch, who is it?" I ask.

"He said his name is Jean Francois Giroux," Megumi says.

My heart sinks what the hell does he want again? It clearly has something to do with Gideon's interview this morning, but why does that mean he feels he has come to see me?

"Oh, ok well I'm coming down now so keep him there," I say and hang up.

I pick up my phone and send Gideon another quick text.

_**Jean Francois Giroux is here again, asking for me.**_

A moment later I receive his response.

_**Do you need me to come down?**_

Relief at his offer floods me and makes me realise that yes, I do want him here with me.

_**Do you mind? I'm not sure what he wants but I'm not too keen on the idea of meeting him alone, plus I was just on my way up to you for lunch x**_

_**Alright, give me two minutes, your mother and Stanton are here already x**_

I wince as I read that, then I push my phone in my purse and steeling myself I push the forthcoming inevitable confrontation with my mother out of my mind and I head out to reception, to face the equally inevitable current one with Jean Francois. He is sitting in one of the comfortable chairs and as I approach he looks up. He has an impassive look on his face so I can't determine what mood he is in.

"Eva," he says as he stands up.

He comes to greet me with a kiss, and so I quickly hold my hand out instead to stop him, he hesitates and then accepts the handshake.

"Monsieur Giroux, what can I do for you," I say briskly.

"I was hoping to have a private word with you," he says.

"Well, you can but you'll have to make it quick, I have a lunch date and I don't want to be late," I say looking at my watch for effect.

"With Cross?" he spits, his face darkening.

I cock my head to one side at the change in attitude, "Not that it's any of your business but yes, I am going to have lunch with my husband, and also my mother and I believe my stepfather is going to be there as well, is that alright with you?" I ask.

The sarcasm is dripping from my words, and Giroux realises he has crossed a line with his remark, but he doesn't say anything. I know Megumi is listening as I hear her stifle a giggle at my comment which she quickly disguises with a cough.

He glances at Megumi briefly and then returns his attention back to me and stares at me, and pursing his lips he remains silent for a moment, eventually, he recovers himself and speaks.

"Did you know about the interview _your husband_ gave this morning?" he asks spitting the words your husband at me.

I nod, "Yep" I say confidently with an emphatic nod, popping the p for extra emphasis.

I step closer, "You see, it's like this, Corinne just wasn't getting the message that Gideon didn't want her, so we both felt that it should be spelt out to her somehow and the opportunity for the interview arose, and my husband took it, I think it's a little ironic though that the opportunity was thanks in part to her attempt to get Gideon's attention by announcing the book she is writing – does she realise the timing of that makes her look more than a little bit pathetic? I mean the day after we announce that we are married she announces she is writing a kiss and tell, talk about desperate," I say derisively.

I see the anger flowing off him and he balls his hands into fists, I grin at him, "What? Surely you can't be upset that my husband has announced to the world that he is not interested in your wife, that is what you wanted isn't it?... or maybe now, that you know for sure that he isn't standing in your way as you choose to believe he is, you don't have anyone to blame for the disintegration of your marriage, except for the two people who should be blamed – namely, Corinne and you," I say.

"She never loved me as she loves him," he whispers, neatly transferring all the blame on Corinne.

I shrug, but his words send any icy cold feeling through me, he said she still loves Gideon, but I try not to let it affect me.

"That's not my problem, or Gideon's, for that matter, and quite frankly if you married a woman knowing she was in love with another man and was only using you, which I believe she was, and considering what you have just said, you also knew it, then that's totally on you, and you shouldn't try and shift the blame for that mistake on to other people," I say.

I am planting the seed in his head that Corinne had only used him to try and make Gideon jealous to try and win her back, and I see the moment that seed takes root in his head, by the way, his expression changes.

"Did you see the interview?" he hisses, scrambling to change the subject.

I shake my head, "No, but I will be watching it tonight with my husband," I say and I fold my arms, wondering where this is going next.

"He made Corinne look bad," he says.

"And?" I say unconcerned and immediately thinking that must be an exaggeration after what Cary had told me about Gideon being respectful towards Corinne throughout the interview.

I wait for his response to that and when it isn't forthcoming I smile at him, "I think she has managed that all by herself," I add.

"She is not the one in the wrong here," he immediately retorts and I am amazed he is still defending her.

I stare at him, not quite believing what I am hearing, is he as deluded as she is?

"Excuse me?" I say, "Your misplaced loyalty is astonishing, especially after the way she has treated you! Let me just enlighten you on a few things, your wife is so far in the wrong it is unreal," I add stepping closer.

I watch as he looks at me in total confusion, so I step closer and decide to give him the full Gideon and Corrine story as I know it.

"Going right back to the beginning, your wife, who was then Gideon's fiancée after _she_ asked him to marry her at a stupidly young age, realised her relationship with Gideon was going nowhere, it happens as people mature, they want different things and as I already said they were too young and immature when they got engaged, a point which Gideon had come to terms with, hence the growing distance between them, did she sit down and talk things through with him and try and sort out what was causing the problems? No of course she didn't, that would be far too much like common sense, no, instead she tried to manipulate Gideon by calling off the engagement and going off with you, in the hope that it would make him jealous, and he would chase after her and try and get her back, but it backfired spectacularly when he didn't do any of that, he simply let her go with his good wishes and no animosity, so there she was, backed into a corner and what did she do next? She married you, knowing that she didn't love you, which is just wrong on so many levels," I say.

I stop and let that sink in which it does quickly, and he opens his mouth to speak but I hold my hand up to stop him.

"I've not finished! Now, whether or not she did that in another attempt to make Gideon jealous I have no idea, but whatever her motives, it clearly didn't work as he didn't do anything about it. When your marriage inevitably broke down, and just for the record, I can now see why you became... what was the word Corinne used to describe you? Oh yes – 'indifferent,' I mean it must be hard being with a woman who is pining after another man, but even though I understand why you behaved that way, that is also where you have to take a little of the blame in this, because, with your indifference towards her, you didn't give her any reason to fall in love with you, with your indifference, you gave her more reason to love Gideon, kind of like a vicious cycle and self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts."

I pause again for effect and Jean Francois just stares at me totally speechless.

"So having said all that, let's examine what she did next. She came back to New York, which you let her do, you didn't put up a fight for her, confirming to her that you were, indeed, indifferent, because you didn't try and win her back, you just gave up and let her go, which to be honest with you - as I have said, I don't blame you for, why chase after a woman you know doesn't and probably never did love you?"

I pause again and Jean Francois is now opening and shutting his mouth like a goldfish.

"But what I do hold you entirely responsible for, and dislike you intensely for, is your attitude since you arrived here in the States, you didn't even bother to fly your ass here until my husband called you, telling you that Corinne was behaving bizarrely and that you needed to take care of her, because it was your place to, as her damn husband! So you did, which I assume was grudgingly, but the minute you got here, you started whining that Corinne should be with you, you made incorrect assumptions and allegations about my relationship with Gideon and placed the blame solely on him for the breakdown of your marriage and you have tried to repeatedly drag me into it, when in truth the majority of the blame lay with Corinne as she was the manipulative bitch who had caused everything that happened," I stop again as shock registers on Giroux's face and he actually takes a step back.

I continue, my voice not quite so harsh now, "So, as I was saying she came back to New York with the express intention of getting back with Gideon, but he had already moved on, with me, so instead of backing off and wishing him every happiness – like he did previously all those years ago for her, she decided to stir up trouble instead, first of all she tried to split us up, by trying to make me think she had slept with him, a ploy which she pulled not once but twice, I fell for it the first time but I was ready for her the second time, and I called her out and let her know that I knew she was lying and had lied on the previous occasion as well, she didn't like that one little bit because she knew then that I had her number and wouldn't fall for her games anymore, that was when she started making a nuisance of herself and ramping up the crazy behaviour, when she started phoning Gideon constantly and acting all hysterical, needy and clingy, he tried to be her friend, he tried to help her, but she wasn't having any of it, as that was all part of her scheme, if he was with her, paying attention to her, then he wasn't with me, but that didn't work for her either because that was when he called you."

I stop again, wondering if I should tell him about the baby, it would be a low blow but my decision is made as he shakes his head in denial either not believing what I have just told him or more likely believing it but not wanting to believe it.

I glance at Megumi, I don't want her to hear this part, so I grab his arm and pull him further away and lower my voice significantly as I hit him with the final blow.

"And, just so you know _exactly_ what sort of person she is, did you know that both Gideon and I believe she knew she was pregnant and didn't care when she took that overdose?" I pause as his face loses all its colour.

"Y...Y...You're lying," he croaks as he shakes his head vigorously and he reaches out blindly grasping a chair, he sits down heavily as if his legs have lost all their strength. I sit down beside him and touch his arm gently, he looks at my hand on his arm with a slightly dazed expression.

"No, I'm not" I say in a softer, kinder voice.

I watch as he puts his head in his hands, and I touch his shoulder, "In fact I wish I was, but I can actually prove our suspicions that she did that, and I would be willing to show you, you see, she went to see Gideon at his penthouse, and he showed me the footage of the encounter, it was awful, she was so cold when the matter of the baby came up, her whole demeanour spoke volumes, and we both feel very strongly about the way she reacted that she knew and she just didn't care."

I wait until he pulls himself together, a small amount of sympathy for him blossoming.

He looks up at me, desolation in his eyes, and I finish but not getting any pleasure in totally destroying this man.

"But it was when she then tried to emotionally blackmail Gideon again, when he told her once more that there was no hope for a relationship between them, she threatened him that she might do something else to herself, and he called her bluff, and that is what convinced me without doubt that she had overdosed the first time knowing she was pregnant. I swear to you I'm not making this up, I couldn't be that cruel, but I watched the whole interaction with my own two eyes".

I wait a moment as he takes in what I've said.

"Gideon made the announcement that we were married, which should have driven home the message that there was no hope for her once and for all, but it didn't."

I gently squeeze his arm once more.

"Gideon isn't interested in her, he hasn't been interested in her for years. He told me he never loved her as he loves me, and I truly believe that, as he has let me into his life as he has never let anyone else in, he tried to be her friend when she returned to New York for old times' sake, but he made it totally clear to her many times and in front of many witnesses, myself included, that friendship was all he could offer her. She is obsessed with him and it's not healthy, but that isn't Gideon's fault, and you need to stop blaming him for everything, he hasn't done anything wrong, he has been totally straight and honest with her right from the beginning when he let her go, you are blaming the wrong person, you dislike Gideon because your wife wants him more than she wants you, but he doesn't want her, he hasn't wanted her for a long while."

I stop and my words seem to be getting through to him, as tears appear in his eyes.

"It would seem I have had this all wrong," he says quietly.

I nod, "you have".

I look up and see Gideon standing silently just inside the doors, he is listening, I'm not sure how much of what I have said he has heard, but as our eyes meet he approaches me and I rise to my feet, Jean Francois also stands his head down staring at the ground.

"Angel," Gideon says and Jean Francois turns and it's like the fight has totally gone out of him. His shoulders slump and he looks up at me.

"I will bid you good day, and I won't bother you again," he says and with that he leaves without another word.

Gideon steps aside so Jean Francois can pass him and Jean Francois looks up and simply nods in acknowledgement, a small gesture but I know it signified more than what it appeared to.

Gideon returns the nod and watches him go, then he turns his head towards me.

"Everything alright Angel?" he asks.

I nod and walk into his arms, wrapping mine tightly around his waist, "I think he now realises it's not your fault, whether or not he accepts it is another matter" I say.

Gideon holds me tightly and presses a kiss to my head, I lift my face up for him to kiss me on the lips and he doesn't hesitate, kissing me with abandon and pulling me even closer.

"Let's go to lunch, your mother and stepfather are waiting," he says when we eventually break apart.

I nod and he grasps my hand leading me out.

He glances at me and I plaster a smile on my face, "Ok, let's get it over with" I say as we walk towards the waiting elevator.

I grip his hand tighter, "I saw what you said," I whisper, changing the subject so I don't get hung up on the impending conversation with my mother.

He stiffens and looks down at me, "What did I say?" he asks.

"I saw a snippet of the interview when I checked out all the alerts I was getting," I say.

He nods in understanding, "Which part are you referring to?" he asks a little warily.

"The bit where you said '_When you find your soul mate, when you find the other half of you, the person you know instinctively you can't live without and who you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start immediately,_' well, I liked it, I liked hearing that," I say remembering the words from the clip. I swallow hard and Gideon smiles at me and touches my face with his hand, his fingers sweeping over my cheek.

"I meant every word," he says.

"I know you did, which is why I liked it so much," I say.

Gideon's reaction is immediate he lifts me into his arms and pressing me against the wall of the elevator he devours me, kissing me with such passion and ferocity I eventually have to push him away to catch my breath."

He presses his body into mine and I feel his erection against me and I feel my body responding to him, we are brought back to our senses by the elevator pinging and I watch as the doors open, Gideon puts me back on my feet and discreetly adjusts himself before leading me out and towards the Cross Industries doors.

I glance down at him and grin, "facing the in-laws with a hard-on isn't a good move you know," and his eyebrows rise at the comment and a reluctant smile catches his lips.

"I can assure you the thought of the forthcoming lunch date is rapidly rectifying that situation," he says wryly.

He is buzzed in immediately and the red-headed receptionist smiles widely at him and then glancing at me her smile fades, but she pulls herself together and manages to give me a forced brittle smile.

I grip Gideon's hand and beam at her, I'm not going to let her pettiness get to me, she can be as jealous as she likes, he's mine, I have him and he wears my ring, I glance at her again as we walk past, yeah he's mine get over it!

We walk towards his office and I come to a halt outside as I see my mother and Richard sitting waiting patiently inside.

"Come on Angel, you know you have to do this" he encourages, and urges me through the door.

I take a deep breath and step inside his office, I catch sight of the catered lunch waiting and then I turn my attention to Gideon who has gone to frost the walls of his office offering us total privacy.

"Hi mom," I say, and I glance towards Richard, and offer him a nod, "Richard," I say.

"Hello, Eva love," Richard says with a kind smile as he stands to greet me. Almost immediately I see tears appearing in my mother's eyes and she is wringing her handkerchief in her hand as she stands and as I pull away from Richard she wraps her arms around me.

I'm shocked and it takes me a moment to hug her back.

"Come on mom sit down," I say quickly hoping I can get her sat down before she starts having an emotional outburst.

My mother takes a seat and I see the handkerchief once more being twisted, I know she is on the verge of some kind of emotional outburst and to be fair I can't really blame her, I sit opposite her and Gideon immediately sits beside me and reaches for my hand, and I see Gideon has also noticed the handkerchief twisting and he quickly steps in to speak.

"I'm glad you could join us here today," he says.

This has an immediate positive effect on my mother as she flashes him one of her winning smiles, "It was very nice of you to call and invite us" she says.

Before I can speak Gideon nods and steps in once more, I realise what he is doing, he is handling her.

"No problem, right, firstly I want to apologise for the way you found out about what we did, Eva and I had every intention of telling you personally on our return from San Diego but she wanted to tell her father face to face while she was there, and unfortunately he didn't take the news too well and he demanded that Eva tell you immediately, which resulted in the very late call you received," he pauses and my mother leans forward.

"Why didn't you tell me before, we spent the evening together getting ready for the gala?" she says a note of hurt in her tone.

I reach over the table for her hand, "Mom, we had a house full of people, it would only take one person to leak that sort of information to the media and it would go viral immediately, and I assure you if dad found out via the internet, his reaction would have been ten times worse than what it actually was, and trust me, it wasn't pleasant, Gideon and I kept it to ourselves until I had the chance to go and see him in person and tell him," I say.

"You married the previous weekend Eva, you had a whole week to tell me, have we really drifted so far apart that you couldn't tell me?"

I feel my anger rising, "Well mom, if you want the truth then yes we have," I feel Gideon squeeze my fingers slightly in warning, but I ignore him and my mom gasps at this and the handkerchief wringing increases.

"There is the pesky little matter of tracking devices and bugs in my belongings, violating my privacy which I still haven't totally got over." I regret my words as soon as they leave my mouth. "You put a god damn bug in my watch mom, it was a graduation present which meant something to me, that crossed a line," I say in a slightly calmer voice.

"Eva love, your mother worries about you," Stanton steps in at this point he has wrapped his arm around my mother.

I stare at him coldly, "Richard, she wouldn't have been able to do half of what she did without your help or resources, so you were enabling her unreasonable behaviour, what she was doing was stalking and that is illegal, I am a grown woman who is entitled to privacy and not have her every move monitored and watched."

I glance at Gideon who shifts slightly as I say this, as that was a clear message to him as well.

I sigh, "Look mom, Nathan is dead, he is gone, so there is no possible reason or excuse for this behaviour to continue now, I don't excuse or condone what you did previously, as whichever way you look at it, it was a gross invasion of my privacy, but part of me can understand why you felt you had to – even though it was wrong on so many levels, but I warn you, if I find out you are still stalking me I won't be so reasonable about it".

An uncomfortable silence spreads out between us then Gideon once more steps in to try and smooth things over.

"I can understand you are upset about not being told sooner than you actually were and as Eva has explained we had every intention of doing so after we had had the chance to speak to Victor about it. I also want you to know that it was nothing personal against you as to why you were not included in the ceremony and not told about it, nobody was, and I am entirely to blame for that decision - Eva had no idea until I got her there what I had in mind, but I just wanted it to be us, no press, no intrusion from the outside world, just me and the woman I love" he glances down at me. I feel my heart lurch at his words.

I look at my mother once more and notice that the handkerchief has gone, he has got her eating out of his hand once more as he continues to speak.

"I'm sorry if that sounds selfish to you, but as we have already pointed out there is a certain amount of public interest which surrounds me, today has been a prime example of that. We will, of course, be doing a whole public wedding so our family and friends can celebrate with us and as such I know that there is more than the possibility that it will degenerate into a circus. This is why we had a wedding where it was just us, the two people who mattered most, I hope you understand our reasons behind what we did?" he stops and stares at my mom and Richard.

I am impressed, he has stunned my mom into silence and that isn't an easy thing to do, especially as she was clearly working herself up into a fit of hysterics when we arrived, and I didn't help with my accusations of stalking.

My mom clasps her hands together, and starts to speak, "I won't lie I was a little upset after you called me" she says. "But now you have explained everything I totally understand why you did it, and why it took you so long to tell me about it, but we need to start organising if we are to have a vow renewal in December that is no time to arrange everything, and…"

Gideon holds up his hand, and silences her in mid flow.

"Which is why I am proposing using one of my hotels, they will organise everything and all they will need is numbers and basic requirements for colour schemes and the like, you won't have to do anything and as Victor has insisted on paying his share, I feel this is the best way to allow him to do that without him feeling like the poor relation".

I could kiss Gideon, he is handling my mother beautifully.

My mother looks stunned, but I see her mind starting to work and churn over ideas, I decide to step in, at this point as I realise in a rush that I have already had my perfect day on a beach in bare feet and a rose in my hair, I don't care about anything else except for one thing.

"Mom, we want to keep it small and intimate, close friends and family only, and it is important to me that my dad gives me away, no offence Richard, but he is my dad and it is his job," I stop and my mother nods in agreement.

"Of course he should," she says "But small and intimate isn't going to be possible Eva, a man of Gideon's standing would be required to have..." she is cut off once more by Gideon who steps in again.

"I am perfectly happy with small and intimate, I'm not interested in inviting everyone I've ever met, I'll send you a list of everyone who should be invited from my side, but I'm not interested in turning our wedding into a publicity op," Gideon says.

"But won't people be insulted?" she asks carefully.

Gideon shrugs, "I don't really care about what other people want, the people who matter most will be there, and that is people who mean something to us both" he turns towards me, "I know you've already said that you want Ireland as a bridesmaid, but I would also like Maggie."

He glances at my mother once more, "Maggie - Magdalene is one of my oldest friends and Ireland as you know is my younger sister," he explains.

I watch as my mother nods and immediately submits to Gideon's request. I'm shocked she would have argued with me for ages over who we _should_ be inviting!

I nod in agreement, Magdalene and I have worked out our differences and while I don't think she will ever be someone I can be close to, I have no problem letting Gideon pick her for a bridesmaid.

"I want Cary as a groomsman, so that's fair" I say, "Who are you choosing to stand with you as your best man?" I ask.

"Angus," Gideon replies immediately, and without any hesitation and I smile, of course there was no doubt about that one, after all, he witnessed our wedding.

"Alright, small and intimate it is aside from that, is there anything you particularly want?" my mother asks.

I shake my head and grip Gideon's hand, "I already have everything I want" I say.

Gideon smiles at me and squeezes my hand and then lifts it to his mouth giving my knuckles a sweet kiss, then he turns to my mother.

"Are we clear on everything?" Gideon asks my mother beams at him and nods. "Right I suggest we eat now then," Gideon says standing and gesturing toward the buffet.

"I do have one more thing I would like to say," my mom says and I freeze I know that tone of voice.

"Mom if you mention the damn pre-nup I will get up and leave right now!" I hiss at her.

She stares at me in disbelief, "Eva you are not a lawyer, you signed it without counsel," she says.

To my great surprise, before I can say anything Richard steps in and tries to calm my mother down.

"Monica, please don't do this, I have told you, I already saw it, Gideon sent me a copy to look over and there was nothing I could add, it was more than fair to Eva, in fact I was tempted to ask if his in-house counsel had seen it, as I'm sure they would have argued against it," Richard says soothingly.

"They did argue against it – quite strenuously as it happens," Gideon puts in.

"Oh," my mother says and I watch as the fight leaves her, and I wonder and not for the first time what my mother's obsession with money is all about.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

At the end of the day, I shut down my computer and grab my purse.

"I'll see you tomorrow Mark," I call, as I pass his office.

He looks up and grins at me, "Goodnight Eva, see you tomorrow," he says easily.

I step out and into the elevator and press the button for the top floor, and when the doors open I am quickly buzzed into Cross Industries, the red-headed receptionist has gone and a young man beams at me as I walk past.

"Good Evening Mrs Cross," he says politely.

"Good evening," I say with a grin, and then make my way to Gideon's office.

As I approach, I see the glass of his office is clear and he is bent over his desk, looking at something with two men at his side, he is pointing at various papers scattered on his desk. As if he knows I am there and heading towards him he looks up and his gaze heats as his eyes meet mine. I pause, not wanting to disturb him, but he straightens and beckons me in. The two men look up at this and they also stand up straight as I walk in, they watch me with interest, and I also note they watch Gideon's reaction to me with equal fascination.

Gideon doesn't hesitate, he steps away from them and meets me in the middle of the floor grasping my shoulders and bending to kiss me chastely.

"Hi" he whispers.

"If you are busy, I can go," I say, glancing once more at the papers scattered all over his desk.

He shakes his head, "No, I'm never too busy for you," he says and then moving his hand to the small of my back, he leads me towards the two men.

"Eva this is my attorney Arash Madani and this is one of my project managers Manuel Alcoa". He says waving his hand towards each man in turn. He looks at the two men and pulls me close, "This is my wife, Eva," he says proudly.

His words make my heart leap a little, it gives me a little thrill when he introduces me as his wife, and as I look towards the two men they both beam at me.

"So, you are the lady who has cost me a thousand dollars," the one called Manuel says with a rueful grin.

I stare at him in surprise.

"Shut up Manuel," Gideon says, but there is no heat in his voice, in fact, he too sounds a little amused at the comment.

"No, I want to hear this," I say.

"He," Manuel says, jerking his thumb towards Gideon, "was the last person I figured would tie the knot and he turns out to be the first."

I stare at him, "You bet against him?!" I say, "Who bet in his favour?" I ask, wondering who had some idea of what Gideon was planning.

Manuel nods towards Arash who has a self-satisfied grin on his face, I cock my head to one side as I look towards him remembering Gideon's introduction, "but Gideon just introduced you as his attorney so you would have inside information, I would say that's not fair not to mention unethical" I say.

The two men laugh, and Manuel quickly explains, "If it had been a recent thing I would totally agree with you and believe me I wouldn't have paid up, but we placed the bet years ago, and at that time I figured I was totally safe after he broke up with..."

Manuel stops abruptly and actually flushes red, he shoots an apologetic look at Gideon and I realise we are talking about the time his engagement with Corinne ended, and I can picture these two easy going men taking bets on Gideon's future after he split up with her, I realise they have known each other a long time.

I glance up at Gideon who doesn't look bothered, in fact he is smiling, "If it's any consolation, I would have bet against me too, but you changed all that, you changed everything Angel."

He wraps his arm around me and presses a kiss to my head.

I hear both men making gagging noises and I giggle.

The one called Arash steps forward, "Anyway, I am very pleased to meet you Eva," he says holding his hand out to me, I accept it and smile.

"Nice to meet you too," I say.

I watch as Gideon steps closer and pushes Arash away, "Stop drooling" he says the amusement clear in his tone.

Arash glances at Gideon and after giving him a look he grins, "Oh you think you are so funny Cross, you ass," he says with equal amusement.

I laugh and look up at Gideon, I like this side of him, it's not often I see him have this kind of easy interaction with others, these people work for him but I am certain from what I have seen that they are also close personal friends of his.

"It's good to see he works with people who aren't afraid of him," I blurt out.

Arash winks at me and his grin gets wider, "I know how he operates" he says, leaning towards me and whispering conspiratorially.

I laugh, "Really, I'd love to hear all about that," I say joining in with the joke.

"I think not," Gideon says and he grips me tighter.

I elbow him in the ribs playfully, "Oh come on Ace, don't be like that," I say.

The two men burst out laughing at that, "Yeah _Ace_, what have you got to hide?" Arash taunts, whilst Manuel just laughs loudly.

"Your corpses," Gideon says as he looks at the two men with a smirk on his face, "Now get the hell out of here and give me a moment with my wife," he says.

"You see what we have to deal with," Manuel says shaking his head theatrically, as the two men go to leave, "it was nice meeting you Eva" he adds.

"Likewise," I say.

"But for the record, I have no idea what you see in him," Manuel adds over his shoulder as a parting shot.

"Get out!" Gideon shouts, and I watch the two men disappear laughing as they go.

As soon as they are gone, Gideon reaches for the button on his desk which frosts the glass of his office walls, and then he grabs me and devours me.

"You, are a bad girl," he whispers.

"You like me bad," I fire back.

I press my hands to his chest, and look up into his face which is smiling down at me.

"I want to thank you for arranging that lunch with my mother today, and for handling her so well, and I'm so sorry she felt the need to bring up the pre-nup," I say, as I again wonder what it is that makes her so obsessed with money.

"You are more than welcome Angel, and don't worry about it," he replies, and then he kisses me once more.

"What are your plans?" he asks me when we eventually pull apart.

"I'm going to Krav Maga again tonight, and then I'm heading back to the Penthouse, where hopefully my husband will be waiting for me and we will... oh, I don't know, think of something to do after we have watched the interview!" I say waving my hand in the air, "then later on, don't forget that Cary is coming over to take a look at the guest apartment next door," I say, reminding Gideon of that.

He nods, "Ok, I should be out of here fairly soon, but then I have my appointment with Dr Petersen, so I'll be home by about 8ish I think, so you may be back before me,"

I nod in understanding, as I know he probably has a lot to catch up on, we both know that he has neglected his work quite a bit since he met me.

I press a kiss to his lips and go to pick up my purse, then reaching for my phone I send a message to Clancy to pick me up from my apartment.

"I'm going to pack up all my stuff and officially move into the penthouse at some point in the next week or so," I say as I send the text.

Gideon shakes his head at that, "I think you should keep your apartment for a while longer," he says, I freeze at that and stare at him.

"Why?" I ask carefully.

"Think about it Angel, I am going to be having renovations done on the penthouse shortly so we will both need somewhere to live while that is being done," he explains.

I nod realising what he is getting at, "but I like my neighbour's apartment better," I say with a grin.

Gideon smiles, "I too have many happy memories there," he says.

"Ok I'm going then," I say.

"Eva wait," Gideon says and walks towards me.

I wait, I'm wondering what he is going to say next, as all levity has gone and he looks serious and businesslike, "Eva, moving forward I'd like you to use Raul to escort you to and from your Krav Maga classes," he says.

I cock my head to one side and fold my arms, "Can I ask why?" I say, and I am wondering if this has something to do with Clancy being involved with Nathan.

"You are _my_ wife, so it is _my_ security you should be utilising," he says, and once again I get a little thrill at hearing him describe me as his wife, but that is over ridden by my stubborn independence.

"But Clancy doesn't mind," I argue.

Gideon sighs, "Eva, listen to me, Ben Clancy is employed to protect your step father's interests. He looks after you only because it gives him more control in securing Stanton's safety and reputation."

I stare at him and shake my head, "How would you know what his motives are?" I ask.

As I say this though, I realise I know exactly what they are, and that Gideon is totally correct, as Clancy's words ring in my ears when he told me he had been the one who had exonerated Gideon of Nathan 's murder.

'_I did what I did initially out of loyalty for my employer.'_

I clamp my mouth shut, and think carefully, "But" I say, as stubbornness takes over once more.

Gideon shakes his head, "Angel, we both know what Ben Clancy did, and whilst I am completely grateful to him for what he did and I know you are too, in those circumstances I think it is prudent to put some distance between him and you."

He stops and stares meaningfully at me, and I nod as I can't argue with that, but Gideon hasn't finished with his reasoning.

"There is also the point to consider, your mother and Stanton have been invading your privacy for some time, a matter which you quite forcefully complained about at lunchtime, and yet you are keeping that door open for them, by using their resources," he says, and I have to accept that does sound a reasonable argument and I hadn't actually considered that fact.

He steps closer and reaches for me, he runs his hands down my arms and then gently grasps me and pulls me slightly closer to him, but still holding me he looks me directly in the eye.

"Then there is the reality that you are my wife, Eva, we are married, and I have publicly made it known that you are important to me, hell, I made it crystal clear that you are my reason for living in that interview I gave, I couldn't have made my feelings about you any clearer, but by doing that I have raised issues, because of who I am and what I have built, not to mention my father's murky past. I have enemies Eva, there are people out there who would delight in using you and possibly even hurting you, to hurt me, and that's before we even contemplate the crazies who are just looking for an opportunity for an easy payout, so with that in mind I want Raul to accompany you, from now on," he says adamantly.

I think about that for a moment and he grips my shoulders, "Please Eva, let me take care of you, I need to know you are safe, this is not a question of me trying to control you, this is me just wanting to keep you safe, and this is for my own peace of mind."

His hands fall from my arms and I immediately reach for him, wanting that physical connection with him and I stroke his arms gently, offering him what reassurance I can.

My heart aches at the tone he is now using.

"You do take care of me, but you can be a little obsessive about it at times," I say.

I watch him smile at that, "I will always be obsessive when it comes to you and your safety Eva, as I need you to breathe," he says soberly.

I go over everything he has said and suddenly I remember his words from a while ago.

'_You're my heart and soul, if something ever happened to you it would kill me. Keeping you safe is goddamned self-preservation._'

My heart melts and I nod, my stubbornness dissipating and I capitulate to his request.

"Alright, I give in," I say.

Gideon pulls me close, "Thank you, Angel, please don't fight me on this, there are things I cannot give you, so please don't fight me on the things I can."

I close my eyes and grip him, resting my head against his chest, "Gideon, you give me everything I need," I whisper.

After a few moments I pull away, and I promise him that I'll tell Clancy that tonight will be the last time he takes me to Krav Maga, and that his services will no longer be required and then I turn to leave.

"Angus is waiting outside to take you to your apartment," Gideon says.

I nod and retrace my steps to kiss him once more before I leave him.

I travel down in the elevator and when the doors open I look up and I freeze, as I see Deanna Johnson in deep conversation with Megumi.

I stare at them, at first I unable to process what I am seeing, and then it all becomes glaringly obvious to me, I quickly recall all the times where Megumi had been pumping me for information on Gideon, and it all become clear, she was feeding the information to Deanna and the monumental betrayal of that truth hurts.

Another thought strikes me, she witnessed the altercation between me and Jean Francois Giroux, I wonder if that has been fed to Deanna and if it has, if it has been done so truthfully, because if it has, it will be useless for her as Gideon came out of that blamelessly, whereas Corinne was clearly painted as the guilty party and Jean Francois wasn't totally innocent either, not something which would interest Deanna in the slightest, who I now know still holds a massive grudge against Gideon.

I pull myself together and turn that hurt I am feeling into anger and I decide on the spot what I am going to do, firstly I need to make Gideon aware of this, so I lift my phone and surreptitiously snap a photograph of Deanna and Megumi talking and I send it to Gideon with an accompanying message.

_**Look who I've just seen! Don't they look cosy?**_

His response is quick.

_**Interesting, isn't that your friend?**_

Another pang of hurt shoots through me at that and my response reflects the betrayal I am feeling.

_**Yes, or so I thought!**_

Then I send a follow-up message before Gideon can respond.

_**Megumi witnessed everything between me and Jean Francois, what if she told Deanna all that?**_

There is a slight delay but when it arrives its reassuring.

_**As long as it's the truth there is nothing to worry about, I too witnessed your conversation, and remember I own the building x**_

I smile and relax, what he is telling me is he has the security feed and won't hesitate to use it if an inaccurate story gets out.

I walk with purpose towards Megumi and Deanna, before they can move apart, they both turn and Megumi's face drops when she sees me, knowing I have seen her talking to Deanna and Deanna just freezes, but her expression has a hint of defiance in it.

"Megumi, I thought you'd left for the evening," I say with forced brightness and then I turn to Deanna, "and Deanna, what surprise, fancy seeing you here," I say, trying hard to keep the sarcasm to a minimum.

Deanna's initial defiance seems to be quickly waning and the two women are starting to resemble a deer caught in the headlights. I decide to be direct, and I return my attention to Megumi, she opens her mouth to speak, but I hold up my hand to stop her.

"You don't have to say anything, or insult my intelligence by making excuses, I saw you talking with Deanna, so I know exactly what you were telling her, tell me Megumi, how much did she pay you for information on Gideon and I? It couldn't have been much as I haven't told you much, despite your constant probing," I say bitterly.

I shrug "unless of course, you made up your own stories to sell?" I add and I give her a hard stare.

She shakes her head and to her credit, she looks shocked and dismayed at that, but I continue to stare at her and eventually, she puts her head down. She is ashamed of what she has done, but I don't think she has lied about us.

"I haven't made anything up or told any lies, and I'm truly sorry for what I did tell her," she says eventually in a small voice, confirming my gut feeling about her.

Satisfied with that response, I then turn my attention back to Deanna and her eyes dart from me to Megumi, so I quickly jump in.

"So, Deanna! How long have you been using Megumi?" I ask bluntly.

I think back to all the times Megumi had probed me for information on my relationship with Gideon, going back a number of weeks to way before she was sick, in fact, if I remember correctly, it goes back to soon after we met and she first became aware of my relationship with Gideon.

I feel used, Megumi has been pumping me for information to spill to Deanna and then I realise that is also probably why she never answered my concerned calls when she was ill, she never truly was my friend, I have been so stupid. I realise I have to be careful with my friends as anyone could be persuaded to talk for the right price. Thankfully I wasn't too naive, as I didn't tell Megumi too much for this very reason, but the fact still remains she saw my conversation with Jean Francois.

"He promised me an exclusive on the wedding photographs and then shafted me by marrying you in private, after I gave him that information on the tape, and now I've been told that I've been dropped as the ghostwriter of the book, since his damn interview this morning," Deanna hisses, bringing my attention back to her.

I smile serenely, "So, I take it from that, that the apology he gave you is now forgotten, the truce is now gone and you are back to hating him again, whilst still secretly wishing he'd want you and then hating him even more because he doesn't, and so now you are back to lowering yourself to digging for dirt to try and crucify him and ruin his reputation to punish him because he doesn't want to shove his dick in you, how tiresome, not to mention totally pathetic," I say as Deanna silently seethes at my words.

I turn once more to Megumi, who is standing with her mouth hanging open.

"Yeah, didn't you know? That's her sole motivation for the story she is pursuing – revenge, pure and simple, she had a one night stand, years ago, with Gideon, she went back for seconds but the problem was he wasn't interested and she can't handle that, so you've been wasting your time telling her stuff, because she isn't interested in facts, because whatever you've told her will be twisted and distorted just to make Gideon look bad."

I watch as Megumi glares at Deanna but I continue with my tirade.

"Just one more thing Megumi, I'm guessing you told her about my visit today with Jean Francois," I say and Megumi has the grace to look uncomfortable, "Of course you did!" I add.

I turn to Deanna, "and now if she told you the truth, you also know that Gideon isn't in any way responsible, but that pesky little detail doesn't bother you does it, because you are going to alter the facts and twist things to make Gideon look bad aren't you?" I watch her reaction to that and I see confirmation of it on her face.

I nod, "yeah I'm right aren't I, well just one small thing with that, you might want to consider, just remember that my husband owns this building and that includes _all_ the security footage, state of the art security footage I might add, which comes complete with sound and which will prove, without doubt, what actually happened and what was actually said when I met with Jean Francois today, so go ahead and write your little story, but bear in mind that if it differs from those verifiable facts in any way at all, I'm pretty sure you'll be facing a libel suit soon afterwards, and of course we will then also 'out you' as the nasty mean petty minded ghostwriter who, because she couldn't handle casual sex many years previously, really did have another agenda when she took the job of ghostwriting Corinne's book, ensuring you'll also totally destroy any credibility you have left, which for a freelance reporter isn't really a good move, because by the time we have finished with you, no credible publication will touch you or your work."

I smile sweetly at her as I say this. "Are we clear?" I add.

I watch as the colour drains from her face, and I pat her arm, "I have to go now and so I'll leave you to think about that, you have a nice evening now" I say and I walk away with my head held high.

My phone buzzes and I pull it out and I smile as I see a text from Gideon.

_**Enjoying yourself again Angel?**_

I send my reply and then lift my head to the small dome in the ceiling which conceals the security camera and smile.

_**Damn straight!**_

**oooOOOooo**

When I return to the Penthouse I am exhausted, and can barely move. I had sparred like a mad woman tonight after my confrontation with Megumi and Deanna I was bristling with energy and anger and needed the session to channel it.

I had told Clancy on the drive back about the fact I wouldn't be requiring his services anymore, I had laid the decision firmly in Gideon's lap, telling him that Gideon wanted me using his people moving forward now that we are married. Clancy was ok about it, and just accepted without question, what I said.

"Thanks, Clancy," I say as I climb out of the car.

"No problem," he says.

"And Clancy," I say as he goes to pull away, he pauses and looks back at me, "Thank you... for everything" I say, and I know he knows that encompasses everything from watching out for me when Nathan was on the scene, to driving me places and for what he did to exonerate Gideon, in fact, it covers so much I reach out and touch his arm, "and I mean everything" I say firmly.

He nods, "No problem" he repeats and without another word he pulls away from the kerb.

I glance at my watch and note it is nearly 7:45, I wonder if Gideon is home yet as I want to watch that interview. I head up and let myself in, as I enter the apartment I see that the light is on and I can hear the shower and I smile, as this tells me he is home, I throw down my purse and gym bag and go in search of my husband.

As I walk into the bathroom I stop as I see Gideon in the shower, he hasn't spotted me yet and I watch as he washes himself with an economic briskness which is almost indifferent, he grabs himself and I feel myself getting wet and needy as I watch him wash his penis, he turns and sees me and a smile plays on his lips and he looks down and his eyebrows rise as he slowly and deliberately strokes himself. That does it, my tiredness completely forgotten I quickly undress on the spot and join him in the shower.

Three orgasms later we emerge from the shower and order some dinner before relaxing on the sofa to watch his interview.

I am totally blown away after we have watched it, it was better than I could have possibly hoped for, and I think that surely Corinne should now have got the message, but I can't help but I notice Gideon is a little bit tense and I wonder why.

"Is everything ok? You seem a bit tense, the interview was a complete success, I'm really pleased with what I have seen, you nailed it," I say, looking at my husband closely.

"There is something we need to talk about, not regarding the interview or anything related to it, but I need to tell you something," he says.

I am now fully paying attention to him.

"OK" I say quietly, and I shuffle myself so I am facing him and as I wait for him to speak my mind goes into overdrive, wondering what on earth the matter is.

"Raul has discovered something... about Anne Lucas," he says after a moment.

I sit up straight and continue to look at him, waiting for him to continue.

He slowly meets my gaze, "You were right, the woman you saw at the Gala was Anne, she was obviously wearing a wig, why? I have no idea, possibly so that it would throw me should I have seen her, but we have established without any doubt that it was definitely her," he says.

"I see," I say, as I wonder where this is heading.

"Raul believes she is trying to get my attention, by approaching you she thinks you will tell me and then she will get me to go to her to warn her off or something similar, but I'm not giving her the satisfaction, I won't play her games, however, we believe that because I haven't responded she may ramp things up a bit, we are not sure how, but I need you to tell Raul, Angus or myself if she approaches you or Cary or anyone else you know, we need to know immediately, do you understand?" he says.

I nod, "Ok," I say, "What exactly is she capable of?" I ask. I'm a little concerned by his reaction to this.

He shakes his head and shrugs, "I really have no idea, it could be something, it could be nothing but I don't want to take any chances, my theory though is mind games, she will want to unsettle you, make you doubt me, to try and drive a wedge between us, I don't think she is dangerous as such, but she will try and get in your head, so don't let her," he says.

His reaction earlier, when he asked me to have Raul accompany me now all makes total sense.

"Why is she being like this?" I ask.

I watch as Gideon shifts uncomfortably, "it was twisted between Anne and me, I was twisted, and it twisted her, it was nothing like a normal sexual relationship, I was subconsciously punishing Hugh through her and also Lucas through her, I know now that it was totally unfair of me to do that, but at the time, I just didn't see it like that" he says, he lowers his head and I can see the shame overwhelming him.

I reach for him and pull him close, and while I can't condone what he did, I can understand why he did it. As we silently hold each other, the intercom sounds and Gideon sighs.

I push away from him, "That'll be the desk telling us Cary is here," I say as I stand to go and answer it.

A few moments later the doorbell rings. "Hi Cary," I say brightly as I open the door, and he grins at me.

"Hey, baby girl" he replies and steps inside, he glances around and whistles. "I think I'll take this place instead," he says.

"Good evening Cary," Gideon says, appearing beside me.

"Hi," Cary says still a little awestruck by his surroundings.

Gideon hands him the key to the guest apartment and turns to walk away.

"Hey, guess who I saw today?" he says and before I can answer he is telling me.

"I saw that woman from the gala again," Cary says, "You know the redhead, the one I... ", he trails off and grins, I glance at Gideon who has frozen in place and he spins on the spot and stares at Cary who seems a little startled by the reaction.

"Tell me, did the woman have long red hair when you saw her today?" Gideon asks.

Cary nods and looks confused.

"She was wearing a wig the night of the gala, as her hair is cropped and spiky normally, Raul has established she still wears her hair short so if she had long hair the night of the gala it could only have been a wig, also if she had long hair today it tells me she has an agenda with Cary as well," Gideon explains.

I remember the pictures I saw of her online and in those she had short spiky hair.

Gideon leads us into the living room and gestures to the sofa, Cary sits down and Gideon sits opposite him his hands clasped in front of him, "tell me everything that happened and what she said to you" he says.

Cary shrugs, "I was just leaving the shoot, and I literally just walked into her, she recognised me and said hello, it took me a moment to remember who she was, but I said hi, asked how she was, she said she was good and we both went our separate ways, that was it," he says then he leans forward, "are you saying I should be worried about her?" he asks.

Gideon nods, "I believe she is trying to get to me through Eva as we... we have history," he says evasively.

"What does that have to do with me?" Cary asks.

"I don't know, you would think nothing, but the very fact she _is_ approaching you is worrying, if she does so again I need you to walk away immediately and let me know," Gideon says.

Cary nods but looks sceptical, "ok, I can do that, but she doesn't look like a real big threat," he says.

"That is what I am trying to avoid," Gideon says grimly.

Cary nods and then looks down at the key in his hand. "I'll go and take a look next door if it's ok with you," he says holding up the key. I stand to go with him.

"I'll come with you," I say and we head out, leaving Gideon reaching for his phone, I know he is calling Raul and telling him about what happened to Cary.

As soon as we are alone Cary turns to me, "Do you think Cross is overreacting about this?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No, he seems really worried, and I've learnt to take notice if Gideon is worried about something" I say.

Cary shrugs, "ok, but I really can't see what damage she could do," he says.

I remember something Gideon had previously told me, "She is a psychiatrist, so if she wants to play mind games she is totally qualified to do so," I say.

"Oh, I see," Cary says understanding, "well that does change things somewhat," he adds.

We head inside the guest apartment, and Cary looks around, I watch his reaction carefully and from what I am seeing he is impressed.

"Do you like it?" I ask tentatively.

"Yeah it's nice, there is nothing I'd really want to change, maybe a lick of paint, but that's all," he says.

"So, you'll take it, you'll come and live there?" I ask a little anxiously, I really want him to say yes.

Cary grins and pulls me in for a hug, "yes I'll take it, I have to be close by to keep an eye on you," he says.

I shove his shoulder and he laughs.

"Do you like it?" we both turn at the voice and see Gideon leaning in the doorway just watching us.

"When can I move in?" Cary says with a grin.

"Whenever you like, but I was thinking, we will get the renovations complete on the penthouse and redecoration done here, and we'll all move at the same time when everything is complete, as there is bound to be some media attention when we move out while the renovations are completed," Gideon says.

Cary nods in agreement "I'll need to get some furniture as well, that could take a bit of time" Cary says as he looks around the bare apartment. I look at Gideon and he looks at Cary.

"You are welcome to anything in the apartment I am using next door to you, we won't need it when we move here," Gideon says, as Cary's mouth drops open at that, "the offer is there" Gideon adds with a shrug.

I step forward, "Cary, I have spoken to mom, and we are selling everything in our apartment too, and the money is going towards the foundation I am hoping to start, so help yourself to anything from there too," Cary's mouth opens and shuts and tears appear in his eyes.

"I don't know what to say," he says, he quickly pulls himself together, "you guys" he adds in a playful tone.

"Seriously though, thank you both, especially you Gideon, there aren't many men out there who would tolerate the fucked up bisexual best friend of their wife, let alone give them somewhere to live, you are a good man," Cary is completely overwhelmed and I wrap my arms around him.

"It's ok – Gideon knows how important you are to me," I say glancing towards my husband. Gideon doesn't respond to that or give any reaction whatsoever to anything that has been said, making me wonder a little bit more if Cary _is_ only being merely tolerated for my sake and it's a thought that leaves me more than a little bit uncomfortable and something I may need to confront at a later date.

As we head out Gideon disappears once more into the penthouse leaving me alone with Cary.

"It seems that I am finally getting my shit together," Cary says as we walk towards the elevator.

"Oh?" I ask.

Cary grins and his eyes light up, I wait immediately interested to find out what has happened to have this effect on my friend.

"Trey called me," he says carefully.

"He did?" I ask, hope and excitement rising significantly at this piece of information.

Cary nods, "Yeah, when I called him, while we were in San Diego, I told him I'd finished with Tat and that he was the one I wanted, he was surprised so I told him everything, and I mean everything, I spilt my damn guts to him, I told him that she had tried to say she was pregnant, that shocked him but I reassured him that there was no baby, and I told him that everything she had done was a game to cause issues and try and separate me from the people I loved, but I told him that in doing that, and for the short time I had believed there was a kid, she had made me totally revaluate my life and what I was doing with it, or not as the case may be, and it had put everything I wanted into perspective and that it had made me realise who I really wanted and I told him what I really wanted was him, I took the plunge and dropped the L bomb, I put it all out there and told him loved him and I begged for forgiveness for the way I had behaved, and he said to give him some time to think things through as what I had just told him had completely blown his mind, which I did, and as the days passed I thought that was it, I would never hear from him again, because I did really hurt him by seeing Tat as well as him, but he called me today, he wants to try again and give us another go, he wants us to work and... well I want that too, I want what you and Cross have," he stops and looks at me and I see the vulnerability in his eyes.

I hug him tightly "Then you go and you grab it with both hands, you are a beautiful man Cary Taylor, and I'm talking about in here" I place my hand over his heart. "You deserve to be happy, always remember that you deserve it, and if Trey is the key to that happiness, you make sure you take it," I say.

"It's just so hard though," he mutters putting his head down.

I grab his shoulders and shake him a little, "look at me Cary, Trey loves you, that much is blatantly obvious for all to see, the crap he has put up with since he met you, if he didn't love you he would have walked away and not given you a second thought, but he is prepared to give it a chance, so you need to meet him half way, you need to let him in, you need to let him in as you have let me in, and you have made a start by being honest with him, so build on that," I wait for him to respond to that and after a moment he smiles and nods.

"Yeah, I do and I will," he says simply.

I hug him tightly and after we have said our goodbyes I watch him disappear into the elevator and I return to the penthouse to my waiting husband.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Everything seems to be quiet the next day. I am still trying to shake off this annoying tired feeling I have, and not for the first time I wonder if I'm coming down with the flu that Megumi had. I am working on a campaign and looking forward to my usual Wednesday lunch with Mark and Steven when my desk phone rings. It's an internal call and I cringe slightly in case it is Megumi, as this morning was awkward, to say the least when I arrived at work after discovering the fact she had betrayed our blossoming friendship to Deanna.

"Hello, Eva Cross speaking," I say in a clipped tone.

"Eva, Deanna Johnson is here to see you," Megumi says carefully.

"I'll be right down," I say and hang up without another word.

I send a text to Gideon informing him of my surprise visitor.

_**Deanna is here to see me.**_

His response is instant.

_**Give me 5 mins, I'll come down.**_

I quickly text back.

_**No, I'll be fine, it will only antagonise her more if you show up, I will call you when she is gone.**_

There is a slight pause and then, he responds to that.

_**Ok, be careful x**_

I smile and tuck my phone into my pocket and head out.

I take a moment to observe Deanna before I make myself known, she looks nervous, why? I straighten my back, lift my head and square my shoulders as I stride out to meet her. Megumi continues to look more than uncomfortable and puts her head down as I walk past her desk.

"Deanna, what can I do for you?" I ask briskly.

I watch as she stands, she is really nervous, almost worried, as I watch her I see Raul appear at the security doors and Megumi buzzes him in, he simply comes in and takes a seat in the corner and just watches.

Deanna glances at him as I acknowledge his presence, "Hi Raul, everything ok?" I ask.

"Everything is fine Mrs Cross" he replies, his relaxed, laidback manner is jarring compared to how visibly wound up Deanna is.

I return my attention back to Deanna and gaze at her questioningly.

"I am here because after our conversation last night, I need to know if you are planning to name me publicly as the ghostwriter for the Corinne Giroux book? Not that I am involved anymore, since I was dropped," she says.

I fold my arms, my mind is quickly running through why she wants to know, we know from the news websites and social media response to Gideon's interview, that Corinne is being painted as the villain and the unknown ghostwriter is being tarred with the same brush, and some of the comments and opinions have been less than complimentary, due to her past brief liaison with my husband and I realise she now knows after what I said last night, that should she provoke us any further we won't hesitate to make that information public, and she would lose any credibility as a journalist and nobody would take her or her work seriously, and I suspect she has ambitions to be more than a gutter press hack.

"That depends," I say evasively.

Her eyebrows rise at my response, "On what?" she asks.

I smile, "on which course of action you plan to take moving forward, are you going to stay stuck in the past, pining for and seeking vengeance on a man you threw yourself at? Yes he fucked you, and to cut a long story short he also behaved like a complete asshole towards you," I pause as I see her look of surprise.

"Yes Deanna, he may be my husband and I Iove him, but that doesn't hide the fact that I recognise he didn't behave well, and no matter what you choose to believe, I don't condone that kind of behaviour, and after what you - and he, told me about your encounter I told him as much, which is why, despite the fact you behaved in a way which was bordering on stalking and harassment, and just as bad as than anything he ever did to you, he made a point of meeting with you and apologising for his past behaviour, because he understood that the way he treated you at that time was wrong, and he isn't that kind of man anymore, but you weren't satisfied with that apology were you, you still harboured a grudge and wanted your pound of flesh, so you made sure you had a back-up plan in the shape of Corinne and all the juicy information she was feeding you about Gideon for her book, and that was all in place when you accepted his apology and called your truce, so you could argue he didn't shaft you at all, in fact you could say that you shafted him by accepting his apology and the offer of wedding photographs when you knew all the time you had the book deal in your back pocket and were working on getting a story on Gideon from the stuff Corinne told you".

I stop and wait for her to catch up, which she does quickly, and she even has the grace to look uncomfortable, but I ignore her discomfort and continue.

"But that backfired on you quite spectacularly when Corinne went loco when she found out Gideon and I were married and the book was announced, and when it was, it didn't take Gideon long to find out who the ghostwriter was, I mean, he has controlling interest in the parent company of the publishing house who took Corinne on, so I assume it only took a few calls and he knew, but then all the pretty shitty stuff that Corinne has done because she is jealous of the fact Gideon has moved on comes out, and trust me when I say this, but what is out there in public isn't the half of it, which I'm sure you now know after Megumi over there spilt her guts to you when I enlightened Corinne's husband of her antics."

I stop and nod my head towards Megumi who is trying to look inconspicuous behind her desk.

"So, now you are panicking, what if it comes out as to what a jealous manipulative lying bitch Corinne really is? What if the world discovers what she was really capable of? I mean, what with your history with my husband, you then being linked to someone like that really wouldn't be a good thing for your reputation, especially considering the way you've behaved, it would make you look equally guilty, not to mention equally nasty, petty, manipulative and pathetic as Corinne and possibly even a bit unstable, and you would lose any credibility as a serious, reputable reporter as a result, all you would be remembered as, is the pathetic woman who couldn't handle casual sex."

Deanna stares at me her mouth opening and shutting, but I don't falter and plough on with my tirade.

"So here's the thing Deanna, I'm not going to say anything, and neither is Gideon, we are happy to let this go, hell we didn't want any of this in the first place, all we've ever wanted is to just get on with our lives, without other people interfering and stirring shit, but both you and Corinne kind of twisted our arm on that one with your actions, and so naturally we came out fighting, after all, if you poke a bear with a stick, don't be surprised if it turns around and bites you! So that being said, if you wander off now with the assurance that you will leave my husband the hell alone and drop any notion of an article on him - of any description, and obviously that means there will certainly be no expose on what an asshole he once was, I guarantee that your name as the ghostwriter will never be released by us, if not then well..." I shrug.

I see the relief on her face, "thank you, you have my word, it's over," she whispers, "You should know that Jean Francois Giroux is planning on making a public announcement regarding his marriage later today" she adds, clearly thinking that offering this information makes everything square between us.

I quickly glance at Raul and he meets my eyes and nods and I see him pull out his phone and send a quick text, and I'm certain he has just told Gideon that piece of news.

I nod, "Thank you for letting me know," I say without sounding too concerned.

"Now Deanna are we totally clear on this, as long as you keep your word so will we, but if anything, anything at all ever appears in the press by you about Gideon I will personally make sure the biggest shit storm you have ever seen rains down on you and this is not an idle threat, am I making myself clear?"

I see her nod, and I know that she believes me, she thrusts out her hand towards me, I hesitate a moment but then shake it. With that, she turns and leaves and I sag with relief, I look at Raul and walk towards him.

"Did you tell him about the announcement Giroux is going to make?" I ask.

"I did Mrs Cross, I'll get in touch with some of my contacts see if we can get hold of a copy of the statement before it goes public, and one more thing... you did good there, I was impressed by the way you handled her," he says.

I smile, "I was protecting my husband, he's not the only one with a frighteningly strong and well developed protective streak, and he has been hurt enough all his life, and battled alone, its time he had someone to stand shoulder to shoulder with him and take some of that hurt away, also, I think Deanna got the message and we'll hear no more from her, but I want someone to keep an eye on her just in case," I say and Raul smiles and pats my arm.

"Certainly Mrs Cross consider it done and might I add, choosing you was the best decision he ever made," he says kindly and with that, he turns and leaves.

I watch him go and then giving Megumi a withering look I turn and head back to my desk.

I've not been back long when Mark comes up and smiles widely at me, I look at my watch and grin, I have been looking forward to today.

"Are you ready?" he asks.

I nod and grab my purse. As we head into the elevator we are the only ones in and I pull out my special key, I've not really had much opportunity to use it yet, as I either arrive with Gideon and he uses his, or there are other people who occupy the elevators wanting different floors making it impossible for me use it.

"What's that?" Mark asks curiously.

"You'll see," I say and wink at him, I plug in my key and press the ground floor, immediately all the lights go out apart from the ground floor and we head straight to the bottom without stopping.

"Pretty cool eh?" I say with a grin as I pull my key out and tuck it back in my purse.

"Where did you get that?" Mark asks as he stares at it covetously.

"It's a present from my husband, one of the perks of being married to the owner of the building, it works the other way too, if I were to plug it in when we get in on the ground floor, all the lights will go out apart from the 20th floor, he has one but his takes him all the way to top, to Cross Industries, and I think he can do other stuff to the elevator with his as well. I've not really had much opportunity to use mine until now though," I say.

"Damn, being married to Gideon Cross definitely does have its perks," Mark says with a grin.

We go outside and Angus climbs out of the Bentley and touches his cap, "Hello Mrs Cross, where would you like to go?"

I glance at Mark who is standing wide-eyed next to me, openly gaping at the Bentley.

"Erm... thanks Angus, Mark and I are heading out to lunch, we are meeting Steven" I glance at Mark who is still staring stupefied at the Bentley.

I nudge him, "Where are we going to?" I ask.

"Huh?" he says and I grin.

"I said where are we going to?" I repeat.

He smiles, "Little Italy," he says, "Steven is meeting us there," he adds.

Angus nods and holds open the door for us and I climb in, Mark follows me in totally dumbstruck.

"Wow" he mutters as Angus pulls easily into the flow of traffic.

"Being married to Gideon Cross definitely does have its perks," I say quietly.

When we arrive, Steven is waiting for us and his jaw drops as Angus pulls up and leaps out holding the door open for us, Mark thanks him profusely and I grin at him.

"Thanks Angus," I say and he touches his cap again.

"I'll be right here to take you both back when you are ready," he says.

"Oh my god did you really just get chauffeur driven here?" Steven says, and the envy is evident in his tone.

Mark laughs, "Yeah, it was kind of surreal," he says.

We find a table and look at the menu, and I can't help but think of Arnoldo as I glance at what is on offer.

As I look up I freeze, Anne Lucas is here and she is wearing her wig so she is trying to unsettle me, as I watch her she makes a point of grabbing a table near us and sitting so she is in my line of sight, I pretend I haven't seen her and pull out my phone, under the guise of sending a message I snap a quick photo and send it to Raul and Gideon with an accompanying message.

_**I spy with my little eye someone beginning with A!**_

Then I slip my phone away and make a point of totally ignoring her and joining in on the conversation with Steven. He grips my hand and stares at my ring admiring it and loudly exclaiming that he wants one just like it, I laugh loudly and Mark just rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

He wants to know every last detail about our wedding on the beach and so I tell him, I enjoy his reaction, but I also get a perverse pleasure, as I know Anne is also listening and seeing her reaction to hearing how Gideon organised everything and what he organised is very gratifying. Steven is in raptures over my description of how simple yet perfect everything was.

"Perhaps you can calm things down a little, now that Eva has told you that you don't need a boatload of extravagance to produce the perfect wedding day," Mark says looking meaningfully at Steven.

I giggle at his shocked expression, "Calm things down?" he splutters which makes me laugh even more.

"Yes, you are turning into some kind of... groomzilla!" Mark says waving his hand.

That does it and I just collapse into a fit of giggles, "Stop it please," I beg as I try and draw breath.

When we leave I see Anne hanging around outside, waiting to try and mess with my head once more but I am ready for her and so I make a point of accidentally on purpose bumping into her.

"I'm so sorry, are you ok?" I gush as reach out and grab her arm none too gently to steady her. She winces and scowls before plastering a smile on her face.

"No harm done," she says tightly.

I smile back, "No, no harm done, this time," I say and look her in the eye as I say it.

I swear I see a sliver of fear in them for a moment and then I let her go and leave without another word.

That encounter has got me thinking, if I could extract some kind of proof from her husband of what he did to Gideon, when he lied to his mother and present it to Anne maybe I could shut her down and put a stop to this behaviour, the more I think about it, the more I like the idea, but I'm not going to say anything to Gideon until I have a full plan laid out.

When we arrive back at the Crossfire, and we make our way to the elevator, it is then I spot Gideon's mother making her way purposely through the turnstile, and I go cold as I see her and thinking quickly I make an excuse that I need to get something from Gideon, and I use my key to give us a stop free journey and I leave Mark on the 20th floor, telling him I'll be back shortly and I make my way up to the top, hoping I manage to get there before Elizabeth.

I am quickly buzzed into the office and I turn to see Elizabeth exiting the other elevator, her face darkens when she sees me and I take great pleasure in breezing past reception without pause as she is stopped and asked to wait.

"Why is she going straight through to see my son and yet I am made to wait here?" I hear her complain as I turn the corner and I smile as I hear the receptionist explain that I don't have to check in at reception first and that I always have direct access to Gideon.

Gideon is just leaving his office a grim expression on his face when he sees me, and I realise that is because he is going to see his mother. He stops dead when he sees me and I just walk into his arms, which he doesn't hesitate to wrap around me.

"Angel what are you doing here?" he asks in surprise, I am guessing he is wondering if I have seen his mother, so I confirm that for him.

"I saw your mother coming up as I came in, so I thought I'd come and give you a bit of moral support when you see her, I don't have long though," I say.

I barely get the words out when he pulls me even closer and kisses me almost desperately.

"Thank you," he says gratefully and gripping my hand, we walk side by side to the reception.

"This won't take long I have a meeting scheduled in 5 minutes time," he says and then as we arrive at reception, his expression hardens as he focuses his attention to Elizabeth.

"Mother," he says coldly.

"Gideon," Elizabeth replies and steps forward to hug him, he doesn't respond and stays ramrod stiff, I feel his hand grip mine even harder as his mother tries to hug him.

She turns towards me, "Eva" she says.

I smile, "Elizabeth, how lovely to see you," I respond in a saccharine sweet tone.

Gideon silently gestures toward his office and steps aside so Elizabeth can go first, she stalks past us and we follow, she waits outside his office and Gideon opens the door, she steps inside and he ushers me in before saying something to Scott and then entering himself and closing the door behind him. He walks to his desk and frosts the glass, then turning he leans against his desk with his arms folded.

"What's this about? I don't have long I have a meeting in 5 minutes... with Chris actually," he says with a wry smile as he acknowledges the irony of that fact.

Elizabeth seems a little taken aback by that but quickly pulls herself together and glares at him, I see Gideon getting impatient at her lack of speech.

"What can I do for you mother, I've already told you that I don't have long?" he asks irritably.

"I have never been so ashamed of you," she spits at him.

I feel my anger rising immediately and I step to Gideon's side my hands' fisting.

His eyebrows rise and he just stares at his mother coldly.

"Are you going to say anything? The way you have been behaving recently, the way you went off and married without your family, did she talk you into doing that? You have no idea what you are getting yourself into with her, she has an ugly side she was downright vicious to me at the gala," Elizabeth raises her hand and points a bony finger at me as she says that.

I see the fury rising in Gideon at that remark, he raises his hand, "STOP" he spits sharply.

"Do not even go there mother, as I assure you there is no scenario pitting you against Eva where you would ever come out on top!" he snarls.

"She is involved with that singer, can't you see it, she is using you, Gideon," she says her voice getting louder and more shrill, I fight to keep control but I don't respond, this is Gideon's fight, not mine.

"Don't!" he snaps and he takes a step closer to his mother, his body language is screaming controlled fury, "You will not speak of my wife in that manner, you refuse to acknowledge the truth and yet you believe blatant lies without question" he says, and I watch as that shot hits its mark but Gideon is on a roll now.

"There is nothing you can say which will affect anything, you lost the right a long while ago to have any influence in my life, and just so you know, if Eva wanted my money I would give her every damn cent" he stops and leans back against his desk once more, refolding his arms, Elizabeth stares at him, she has no response to that so she switches to another issue.

"Then there are all those awful things you said about Corinne in that hideous interview, what on earth were you thinking?" she says.

"When you have quite finished," Gideon says his voice now eerily calm and soft, he pushes away from his desk once more and steps even closer to his mother, he is head and shoulders taller than her and he is deliberately intimidating her, and as she takes a step back we both know it's working.

"Lets' get everything straight once and for all," he holds up his hand and lifts a single finger and holds it in front of his mother.

"One, I arranged our wedding, me," Gideon points at himself for emphasis. "Eva knew nothing until I got her there and proposed."

He lifts a second finger, "Two, we eloped the definition of eloped is 'to run away secretly in order to get married', secretly being the operative word. Do you require the definition of secretly?" he pauses, and I stifle a snort of laughter at his sarcasm.

He lifts a third finger, "Three, we have been estranged for years, so why on earth would I want you at my wedding?"

"Gideon!" I say shocked, all amusement vanishing at that and I see a look of surprise on Elizabeth's face as she notes my shocked outburst. Gideon ignores me and continues, lifting a fourth finger.

"And finally four, everything I said about Corinne was the truth, the total unvarnished truth," he says and then he stops and waits.

"Corinne is devastated," his mother says, totally ignoring everything he has just said.

"And?" Gideon says with a shrug.

"Jean Francois is divorcing her you know," she says and she glances at me as if this should mean something.

"And?" he repeats.

I stiffen, if she tries to blame Gideon for what Corinne is now going through I swear, I will lose it.

Elizabeth stares at him, "Are you not in the least bit concerned? Corinne loves you, and you treat her like this."

I stare at Elizabeth not quite believing what I am hearing, "Are you for real?" I splutter, unable to stop myself, I just can't stay silent any longer.

Elizabeth stares at me and I step forward now and hit her with the facts, the facts that I am getting really sick of repeating.

"You have no idea what you are talking about, you don't know what happened or what Corinne is capable of, Corinne left Gideon, did you know she ran off with Giroux just to try and make Gideon jealous but it didn't work, when she came back to New York Gideon told her he was with me, so instead of wishing him well she tried repeatedly to split us up with lies – she tried to make me believe she had slept with him – twice!" I hold up two fingers and wiggle them at Elizabeth to emphasise my point.

"Then when she was told we were engaged she attempted suicide knowing she was pregnant with Jean Francois baby, she murdered an innocent child to try and get the attention of a man who didn't want her, who she had previously left, then when that man announces he is married she announces that she is producing a kiss and tell book about her time with him, very classy - I don't think! So after all that, I really don't think she has any right to be upset especially when Gideon just spoke the truth in an interview, and if you ask me, he was very restrained and respectful considering what he could have said about her," I stop and wait.

I can see this has shocked Elizabeth and that she had no idea of the facts, "this has nothing to do with you," she retorts eventually.

I laugh, "It has everything to do with me, Gideon is my husband and when some jealous manipulative bitch is trying to hurt him I protect my husband, because I believe my husband and I love my husband" I say.

I hear Gideon's sharp intake of breath at my words.

"That's another thing, I can't believe you told her about... that," she says gesturing at me but glaring at Gideon once more.

My mouth drops open, but before I can say anything Gideon's hands ball into fists and he speaks through clenched teeth in a low controlled voice.

"I didn't tell her, she worked it out for herself, when she witnessed the nightmares I suffer, the nightmares where I relive the time when I was raped," he says and I automatically reach for him and rub my hand up and down his arm.

"You were not raped, the doctor couldn't find any evidence..." That does it, that pushes me right over the edge and I feel myself explode... big time!

"GIDEON WAS RAPED, HE WAS A CHILD HE SHOULDN'T NEED TO PROVIDE PROOF, AND YOU AS HIS MOTHER SHOULD BELIEVE HIM UNCONDITIONALLY" I yell as I step forward and get right into Elizabeth's face.

Elizabeth stares at me, and shrinks back in fear in the face of my wild fury "but" she says and that ring of defiance in her voice just winds me up even more.

"BUT NOTHING, HE LIED TO YOU! THE DOCTOR LIED TO YOU TO PROTECT HIS BROTHER IN LAW YOU STUPID WOMAN, YOU BELIEVED A LYING DOCTOR INSTEAD OF YOUR OWN SON, WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU! YOUR SON WAS RAPED," I have totally lost it now and I wave my hands in the air like some kind of crazed lunatic.

"Gideon is this true?"

There is a gasp from both Gideon and Elizabeth as we all look towards the door and that softly spoken question, standing there is Chris Vidal senior, I see the shock on both Elizabeth's and Gideon's face, and the look of complete horror on Chris's makes the remaining anger fall away from me in a rush, oh shit!

"Chris" Gideon says trying to pull himself together and he looks at his watch, and I remember his comment that he had a meeting with Chris and he has walked in on this, I realise Scott must either not be there or thought because it was us in here it would be ok to send Chris through. Elizabeth looks horror struck at her husband, she is rooted to the spot unable to move.

I glance at my watch and realise I am going to be late back to work but I can't leave, not yet. Chris walks into the room his gaze fixed on Gideon.

"Gideon is this true?" he asks again.

I look at Gideon who is now clearly getting very distressed, he is standing breathing heavily his arms now by his side and his hands are rhythmically clenching and unclenching. I forget everyone else and focus my attention on my husband.

"Gideon, baby, come here," I say gently and I lead him to a chair, he lets me and he sits down without a word and I stand beside him and I wrap my arm protectively around his shoulder.

"I said is this true?" Chris asks looking around at everyone in turn.

Gideon remains silent and Elizabeth goes to speak but I step in before she can make this worse by denying it again.

"Gideon was raped repeatedly by a health official who was engaged to help him when he lost his father, he told Elizabeth and she took him to a doctor to be examined, the doctor she took him to was the rapists brother in law and he falsified his results and lied to her saying nothing had happened, Elizabeth believed him over her own son and alienated him from the family from that point onward, Gideon was a traumatised little boy who had, had every bit of security and everything that was familiar to him torn away from him when his father died, he was grieving the loss of a parent in circumstances which were horrific, then his mother remarried and started to build a new life and a new family, and then he was violated by someone who was supposed to help him and who he was supposed to trust, and the final insult, his own mother didn't believe him."

I stop speaking and grip Gideon's shoulder tightly as he reaches for me, grasping at my hand.

"He lied about everything back then," Elizabeth argues, waving her hand dismissively.

I stare at her, the anger rising once more at her wilful denial of the truth, "he was a child, a traumatised child, he was grieving the loss of a parent, and he was thrust into a brand new family he was hurting, confused and scared, so he did what any kid would do in that situation, he acted out," I spit, if she says one more thing, I swear I won't be held responsible for my actions.

"Well how was I supposed to know what was a lie and what was fact?" she says.

I am about to have another go at her when I see the look Chris is giving her – he is as disgusted as I am, I pause as I see him go to speak, willing him to say something which makes it clear he believes Gideon.

I'm not disappointed when he does speak, "You are his mother Elizabeth, you should believe your child unconditionally when your child tells you something as serious as that, he shouldn't have had to provide proof for you," he says.

He turns to Gideon and crouching in front of him he reaches for him.

"How old were you when this happened to you Gideon?" he asks gently

Gideon shrugs, "it started when I was about 11/12 years old and it lasted for about a year/two years, something like that," he says robotically.

Chris looks horrified, "Gideon, I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

Gideon looks surprised at that and I see the anger welling up in Chris's face and he turns to Elizabeth and rises to his full height once more.

"You never even told me, you never said a word about any of this, you should have told me, I had a right to know. When I married you I knew Gideon came as part of the package, I willingly took him on as my own, and accepted paternal responsibility for him and yet you never thought I should have been told something of this magnitude?"

Elizabeth shrugs, "I didn't want his lies to destroy what we had," she says dismissively, my hands ball into tight fists once more and I have to summon all my self-control not to lurch forward and hit her for that comment.

"I wasn't fucking lying, I was raped," Gideon says fiercely through gritted teeth, he stands suddenly, "get out all of you," he says waving his hand.

Elizabeth turns and leaves immediately but Chris hesitates and reaches out to Gideon.

"I believe you Gideon and I am so sorry, I didn't know," he says quietly.

Gideon sways a little as Chris says that, almost as if the words physically hit him he is breathing deeply now, "get out" he says and Chris nods and after patting Gideon's arm he turns and leaves.

I walk towards him, "Gideon" I whisper and touch his arm.

He jumps violently and turns and then he seems to register it is me and he flings himself into my arms, I take a step back to prevent myself from being knocked over by the force of his body hitting mine, and wrapping my arms around him I hold him as he sobs.

"Hey come on I've got you, it's ok," I say as I try and console him.

When he settles I glance at my watch and cringe I am really late, I look at Gideon and make a swift decision, pulling out my phone I quickly call Mark.

"Eva, where the hell are you?" he says as he answers.

"Hi Mark, I'm really sorry about this, but when I arrived at Cross Industries I discovered that Gideon has been taken ill, so I'm going to have to take him home," I lie.

"Oh I see, yes, of course, no problem Eva, it's nothing serious I hope?" he asks the concern now evident.

"I hope not," I say, I thank Mark profusely and assure him I will keep him updated and then hang up.

Then I ease myself away and go out to Scott and tell him to cancel all Gideon's afternoon appointments and reschedule, as Gideon has taken ill and that I am taking him home. Scott looks shocked and worried and quickly sets about rescheduling all the remaining appointments today. That complete, I return to Gideon and I find him where I left him, I kneel beside him and pull him into my arms.

"Hey come on, let's get you home," I say gently.

He nods and like a small child he stands and allows me to lead him from his office. The lie about him not being well is easy to believe as he does truly look dreadful as I lead him away. I quickly call Angus and I am relieved he is waiting at the kerb with a concerned look on his face as we approach.

"Take us home Angus," I say.

He nods and I bundle Gideon into the back of the Bentley and I go to follow him in, but Angus puts his hand out to touch my arm.

I meet Angus's concerned gaze, "Chris found out," I say simply, shutting the door of the Bentley so Gideon doesn't hear.

"Does he believe?" Angus whispers.

I nod and I see relief and then Angus glances at the car and winces, "Ach that's why he is in such a state then, the lad wouldnee be expecting that - denial and disbelief is all he knows and all he can handle."

I rest my hand on Angus's arm and squeeze gently, I am touched at his concern for Gideon, and once again I wonder just how much of a surrogate father he has been to Gideon over the years.

"I'll take care of him," I say and with that, I open the door and climb into the Bentley.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Fighting against all my instincts and better judgement I leave Gideon alone when we get back to the penthouse. He tells me he wants to be alone so I just watch him as walks away from me, he goes and locks himself in his study and a few moments later the blaring sound of heavy metal music fills the apartment along with some duller sounds of crashing and banging.

I shake my head, I'm worried, that music clearly mirrors the turmoil rolling through Gideon at this moment, and part of me wants to go to him to try and offer him some comfort, but I also know when Gideon is hurting he separates himself and he likes to be alone until he has processed everything that is happening, and he has got a hell of a lot to process, so I will give him that, for now.

As I busy myself, my phone rings and I glance at the screen I don't recognise the number but it's a New York number so I hesitantly answer.

"Hello," I say warily.

"Eva, it's Chris Vidal, Ireland gave me your number, I hope you don't mind me calling but I needed to know how Gideon is, I've tried calling him but he isn't answering his phone and when I tried the office, Scott told me he had gone home sick."

The concern is evident and I smile, Chris truly cares about Gideon, and that thought makes me happy, very happy.

"He's struggling at the moment, which is understandable after what happened, so I took the decision to bring him home, as he was worthless at work after that confrontation with Elizabeth, I made the excuse that he was sick when I asked Scott to deal with his appointments, at the moment he just wants to be alone, and I'm giving him that space for now, but he's not in a good place," I say.

Chris sighs, and a moment later he just breaks down on the line.

"I never knew any of that, and I need him to know that if I had, I would have believed him and fought for him, but I didn't know and now its eating at me, if I had known, I could have done something, I feel like I totally failed him, and I am truly shocked at Elizabeth's behaviour and her part in all this, I feel as though I don't know who she is anymore, the woman who I thought I was married to, wouldn't behave like that and wouldn't do what she did, I don't think I can ever forgive her for keeping this from me and more importantly for not being there for Gideon," he says.

I can hear that the guilt is killing him and I try and say something to elevate it a little.

"Don't Chris, please don't do this to yourself you have no reason to feel guilty, it's not your fault, you know now and you believe him, you believe it happened to him the way he said it did, and trust me that will mean more to Gideon than you could possibly imagine, plus you know how proud he is, so whatever you do, don't pity him, he won't want your guilt induced pity, just give him time and let him come to terms with the fact that someone else believes him, because that is what has thrown him, because all he is used to is denial and disbelief," I say remembering Angus's words.

I hear Chris gasp at that but I continue regardless, "it'll work out eventually, as long as you don't pity him, just let him know you are there for him and that you believe him, that is what he needs, he needs to know he isn't alone."

"But you believe him? Did he react in a similar way when you told him you believed him?" he asks.

"No, because he didn't tell me, I worked it out for myself when I witnessed his nightmares, and I kind of pushed him to get him to admit it," I say.

"Jesus" he whispers, and then he seems to pull himself together, "You are very wise," he adds in a louder firmer voice.

I laugh bitterly at that, I'm only wise because I experienced exactly the same reaction recently when my father found out about Nathan, which I quickly realise was oddly similar to Chris, as he had never been told, and so he too felt a degree of anger towards my mother for not telling him, but in my case it hadn't been wilful negligence and denial of the facts on my mother's part, I had persuaded my mom not to say anything and because she was drowning in guilt and self-recrimination at the time my mom agreed to my demands, and as a result of that my dad also felt a sense of guilt and failure as a father, because he was unaware of what had happened to me, so I know exactly what Chris is feeling and I also know it won't do Gideon any good.

We talk a while longer and I assure him that I will call him if I need him. After I hang up and I am considering going to see how Gideon is when the doorbell sounds, I sigh and walk towards it, I know of only 2 people who have direct access without having the desk call up first, so I know it is either Angus or Raul outside. I open the door and see Raul standing there holding a piece of paper, I glance at it and then back at him before holding the door open and inviting him in.

"The statement from Giroux," Raul says holding out the paper to me.

I'd forgotten about that with everything that has happened since and I sigh, something else, if it doesn't rain it pours, everything seems to be descending on us at once, when are we going to catch a break and when are we going to be able to just live our damn lives.

I take the paper from Raul and we head into the living room, Raul looks around.

"Where is he?" he asks.

"In his study," I say.

"Scott said he wasn't well, but Angus told me that there had been some kind of confrontation with his family and you'd brought him home," Raul pushes.

I look at him, "Both are true, he had a confrontation with his family and some stuff came out, he didn't handle it well and so I took the decision to get him away from the Crossfire and bring him home, to do so I made the excuse to Scott he was unwell, which I suppose technically speaking he was."

I look down at the paper in my hand and start to read.

_It is with sadness that Jean Francois Giroux announces that he and his wife Corinne are to divorce, ending their 5-year marriage. The couple separated 2 months ago and Mrs Giroux left France and returned to the United States, but official proceedings have now been set in motion._

It is short and to the point, I do the maths at the length of time they were married, realising quickly that if she left Gideon for Jean Francois and married shortly afterwards Gideon was only about 22/23 when he was engaged to Corinne, so it was as he had stated in his interview, they were just far too young and naive and rushed into getting engaged as it seemed to be the obvious progression. I am also surprised to note that they separated two months ago, Corinne has been back here for about a month so they had been separated a month before she came back to New York, I look up at Raul.

"Has it been released yet?" I ask as I hold it up.

Raul shakes his head, "No, 4 pm" he says and I quickly put together a statement in my mind should the press come calling for a reaction from Gideon.

"Thank you," I say and Raul nods and offers me a polite smile.

"No problem," he says and with that, he turns and leaves.

I look at my watch, I have time, I go in search of Gideon, I follow the music and try the door of his study, thankfully it is unlocked and I carefully open the door, and I hold my breath as I peer in wondering what I am going to find inside.

What I do find breaks my heart, he has trashed his study and he is sitting on the floor amongst the debris with a lost expression on his face and beside him is an empty decanter. A sliver of unease runs through me at the sight of it, is he drunk? I hesitate and he looks up at me, I study his gaze, he isn't totally smashed, but he isn't totally sober either, I take a deep breath and walk towards him.

"Careful Angel, it's a bit of a mess in here," he says his words slurring a little and looks around him.

"Just a bit," I say as I pick my way through the destroyed study.

I lower myself to the floor beside him and he lifts his arm and pulls me close.

"What do you have there?" he asks looking at the paper I am clutching.

"I thought you'd want to see this," I say offering it to him, "Raul just dropped it off," I add.

He takes it from me and reads it, his eyebrows rising.

"So, what does this have to do with me?" he asks handing it back to me.

I smile, "Everything, when the media make the obvious links with you when this is released, and then come knocking for a comment," I say.

I see him think about that and slowly he heaves himself off the floor and then pulls me up.

"What do you suggest?" he asks.

I stare at him, it's like all the fight has gone out of him, this is not the Gideon I know and if I am honest it is scaring me a little.

I shrug, "that one is down to you, do you want to prepare a statement to release if you are asked for comment, or do you want to just ignore it and go down the no comment route?" I ask.

I watch as he scrubs his hand over his face, and thinks carefully.

"It's a fine line to tread, if I say nothing it implies culpability and guilt, if I say too much it implies culpability and guilt," he says.

As I watch him, he moves suddenly and his fist slams down on the desk, I jump at the sudden explosion of violence.

"Damn Corinne" he spits out as his desk shudders from the impact.

He turns to me, and immediately looks contrite at my startled expression.

"I'm sorry Angel I didn't mean to scare you," he says in a softer tone and he reaches for me.

I walk into his arms, "I think you should say something, so let me deal with it, I'll put together a statement and then you can tell me who I need to call to release it, should you be approached," I say confidently.

"Ok" he replies.

I pull away from him and I see a notepad and pen amongst the debris on the floor and I pick them up as Gideon starts to tidy up the mess he has made. I quickly draft out a statement and then hand the pad to him to see what he thinks, he takes it and quickly reads what I wrote.

"That's very good, it's short and to the point and also makes it clear that it is nothing to do with us," he says.

I smile and he tells me to call someone called Des in his PR department, and he gives me a direct phone line to call him on, I pick my way to his desk and picking up the overturned chair, I right it and sit down in it and pick up the phone which is thankfully still sitting there and connected and wasn't subjected to Gideon's destructive rampage.

I hesitantly dial and wait, "Des Murphy," a deep voice says.

"Erm... hello, this is Eva Cross, Gideon's wife, I'm calling on Gideon's behalf regarding the announcement due to be made at 4 pm this afternoon by Jean Francois Giroux."

"Oh hello Mrs Cross, I heard Mr Cross had gone home sick and I was wondering what we should do and what the official response was going to be when we got word this announcement was coming."

"Yes, I have a statement prepared which Gideon wishes to make if approached for comment," I say.

"Right go ahead," he says.

I take a deep breath, "Mr and Mrs Cross are saddened by the news and send their condolences to the couple regarding this situation, but as this is clearly a private matter between the Giroux's they have no further comment to make." I stop and wait.

"That sounds spot on, sympathetic to the news but distant enough to stop any questions being raised about involvement in it, I'll make sure that is released if we get any request for comment or questions from the media," he says.

"Thank you" I reply and with that, I hang up.

As I do so I wonder what else will be flung at us. I remember my altercation with Anne but quickly put it out of my mind, as that is the last thing Gideon will want to hear about today.

I look up at him, "Chris called," I say nervously.

Gideon looks at me, "Did he?" he says.

I nod and walk towards him, "He's worried about you," I say.

I watch as Gideon shakes his head a look of utter disbelief on his face, "I honestly thought he knew, I thought he knew and didn't believe me either, I was so sure my mother told him, as I have a vague memory of my mother telling him about taking me to see Lucas," he says incredulously.

I shrug, "You probably do, she may have told him that she was taking you to see a paediatrician, but didn't tell him why," I offer.

He thinks about that and nods, "Possibly" he says.

"Why did you trash your office?" I ask.

"I don't know, I felt out of control, that's why I had to get away from you, I didn't want to hurt you, I was feeling so out of control, I needed you more than ever, I wanted to be with you, but the way I was feeling, I didn't trust myself to have the control I have to have with you so that's why I separated myself from you, I wasn't shutting you out purposely I was protecting you, you do understand that don't you?"

He waits for my response and I nod, and I realise he is now afraid that he has fucked up again and I am going to run, because he distanced himself from me rather than talking things through, but to be fair, I understand his need to take time out to process things, especially the enormity of everything that happened today, what I don't like is when he keeps things from me and continues to lock me out.

I think I have reassured him I'm going nowhere though and once he has grasped that reassurance he continues, "and all those emotions that were flooding me, I needed to release them and the release valve was me trashing my study," he says and looks around him.

I walk towards him and wrap my arms around him and he holds me tightly, I am shocked, he said so much and much to my surprise he continues to talk.

"The realisation Chris never knew and his reaction to finding out... I just couldn't deal with it, I've always known denial and disbelief, _that_ I can handle, _that_ I can deal with, but the fact he believed me... it just threw me and screwed with my head, I didn't know what to do. I mean I know you believed me, but that was different, I didn't tell you, you guessed from witnessing my nightmares and from your own experiences, when I told you, that day I was just confirming what you already knew and had figured out for yourself. Chris had no proof other than my word today and yet he accepted it without question. I don't want him feeling bad about not knowing, and the last thing I want or need is his pity," he says.

I smile inwardly, that is exactly what Angus said and what I had said to Chris.

I sigh, "It's not pity Gideon. Do you remember what you said to me when I said much the same thing to you after I told you about Nathan? You said you weren't made of stone, well neither is Chris, he has received some pretty shocking news today and he reacted to it, he reacted as any decent human being would do, with shock and anger that it had happened to you, not mention the fact he was never told, and remember that he considers himself your parent, so he also feels he failed to protect you and he was concerned, and that concern was for you, but remember his initial reaction was also one of belief, because that is how a good parent reacts, they believe their children, he told you that he believes you, he believed that it happened Gideon, and this is a good thing, a positive thing, I believe you and so does Chris, which means that you no longer have to live with it alone," I say gently.

I watch him and he thinks about it and then slowly nods.

We tidy up the office and then head out to the sitting room, Gideon has changed and is sitting in sweatpants and a t-shirt, he is still very quiet and withdrawn and then suddenly he seems to realise it is the middle of the afternoon.

"You should be at work," he says.

I shake my head, "it's ok, I called Mark and told him you were sick and I needed to take you home, I told Scott the same thing and he has taken care of your appointments," I say.

"Thank you" he replies simply and then he returns to just gazing into space.

I wrap my arm around his waist and shuffle closer to him and rest my head against his chest.

"You don't have to thank me, I'm your wife and I love you, so of course I was going to take care of you," I say.

He doesn't say anything in response to that but I feel him squeeze me a little tighter as I say those words.

**oooOOOooo**

**(GIDEON)**

I think I must be in a state of shock, the events of earlier this afternoon keep replaying on a loop in my head. I could kick myself for telling Scott to just let Chris come through when he arrived, I had a good idea why my mother had made the effort to come to into the city to see me, and I thought it was to chew me out about eloping, and the interview so I figured that she would reign it in if Chris showed up. What I didn't count on was a full-blown confrontation, resulting in what eventually happened.

I smile as I recall Eva arriving, always looking to protect me, and jump to my defence, always ready to stand beside me and fight my battles for me, she attacks like a tigress, and she lashes out mercilessly at anyone who she believes has hurt or wronged me.

My mother deserved everything she got from Eva, but what I didn't expect was for Chris to walk in and hear it all. But what shocked me to the core was the fact he was totally ignorant, at first, I thought he was bluffing, so to not incur Eva's wrath, but it quickly became apparent that it was no act, he really had no idea what had happened, my mother hadn't even bothered to tell him, as she had so comprehensively dismissed what had happened.

I lost it completely when he told me he believed me, the idea of that just threw me completely and I don't have much memory of what happened next, I vaguely recall being led out by Eva and getting in the car and returning here, and shutting myself in my study and then trashing it, desperately trying to find an outlet for all the out of control emotions coursing through me, the way I was feeling scared me, and I knew that I had to keep away from Eva, I couldn't trust myself around her, while I needed her desperately, and wanted to sink into her and fuck her hard, I was alert enough to realise that was the last thing I should do whilst in the state of mind I was in, as I wouldn't have the control I needed and I would hurt her and probably frighten her, and that is the last thing I needed, so I kept away and vented my anger and the roiling emotions on my study instead.

I am now sitting on the sofa, I watch my wife hovering, she is pretending she isn't, but I know I have worried her today with my behaviour, she has never seen me so... broken, and I immediately worry that what she witnessed will have a detrimental effect on our relationship, then I realise that is stupid after the way she has rallied and stayed at my side today.

I am slowly starting to believe that she loves me and that it will take more than the mother of all meltdowns to drive her away and that she is done running.

I watch her as she flits around the room, she looks tired and it's not surprising, I am in awe of her, she dived in and took charge, she brought me home, and took care of me and also took charge of the issue of the divorce announcement by Giroux and what response we should offer if the media wanted a comment from us, that reminds me that I didn't ask her about her meeting with Deanna Johnson, Raul told me she had handled it beautifully and that in his opinion we wouldn't be hearing from her or having any more trouble from her after the way Eva dealt with her, and I hope he is right.

I think about everything that is going on at the moment, everything seems to be coming at us at once, Corinne and her book, I wonder what the next thing will be from her, I am irritated that she still talks with my mother and getting my mother to come and speak to me for her has really pissed me off.

We also have Anne Lucas trying to get my attention, I am waiting for Eva to tell me about the altercation she had with Anne today at lunch, Raul had gone to the restaurant, after Eva alerted us of Anne's presence, keeping his distance and he told me how Eva had played her at her own game, pretending not to notice her until she physically walked into her.

Now we have this new situation to deal with, now that Chris knows I wonder what will happen, the last thing I want is for him to make a fuss in some misguided notion of parental care and I certainly don't want or need his pity.

I feel the need to get away, take Eva away somewhere, just the two of us, like when we went to the Outer Banks... the Outer Banks! Shit! With a jolt I remember the Outer Banks house and the surprise I have for Eva regarding that, I was supposed to be signing the paperwork for that this afternoon, I had managed to buy it, and I was going to surprise Eva with it tonight, I pull out my phone and call Arash.

"Arash the paperwork I need to sign for the Outer Banks beach house," I say as soon as he answers.

"Hey how are you, Scott said you had gone home sick?" Arash replies the concern evident.

"Yes, I was unwell and Eva was there at the time and she took the decision to bring me home, but I'm feeling much better now thanks," I say.

"Good, you never get sick, so it was a shock to hear," Arash says.

"I'm fine, now those papers," I say.

"I've couriered them to you so you can sign them, the courier will wait and bring them back to me so it can proceed as originally planned," Arash says.

"Excellent" I reply.

"Gideon," I look up at Eva's call.

"Hang on Arash," I say and press the phone to my chest "Yes Angel," I reply.

"The front desk is saying there is a guy here asking for you, they say he's a courier and that it's urgent," she says.

I smile, "Tell them to send him up," I say and she stares at me a moment before doing as I ask, I return to the call.

"Arash, the courier has arrived so I'll go now," I say.

"No problem, I'll swing by later with the completed paperwork and the keys and... hey, get well soon!" he says.

I thank him and kill the call and then head out to the foyer where Eva is accepting the envelope, the courier is waiting and I smile at him.

"Thank you," I say as I open the envelope, I quickly read through the paperwork and when I am satisfied everything is in order I sign it, and then pushing it back into the envelope I give it back to the courier.

With a curt nod, he disappears into the elevator and is gone.

"What was that all about?" Eva asks as we go back inside.

"A time-sensitive issue which needed my attention, Arash needed my signature, so he could proceed as planned, I wasn't in the office so this was the only other option," I say.

She shakes her head, "I know you are not really sick but if you were that would have been really out of order!" she says.

I pull her close, "Angel, I've never been sick in all the time Arash has known me, so I guess he was wondering what he should do, it was a deal which needed to be closed today by a certain time, so he did what he had to do," I explain.

"Ok," she says grudgingly.

I lead her back inside, knowing I will have the deeds and the keys to the Outer Banks house by this evening.

"How are you feeling now?" she asks me as I close the front door.

"Ok... I think," I say and I grasp her hand and pull her into the living room. Leading her to the sofa I ask her to sit down and then I fetch my laptop and place it on her lap.

"What are you doing?" she asks looking from the laptop to me and back again, confusion written all over her face.

In reality I have no idea what I am doing, but I am looking for a distraction, I still don't trust myself sexually with Eva yet, but I need something to focus on and this popped into my head.

"We will be having the renovations done to the penthouse shortly," I say and Eva nods still looking confused.

"This is no longer just my home, it is our home, and so that being the case we need to pick out some new furniture," I say and I lean over her and call up a fine furniture website, I had been previously browsing.

Eva turns to look at me in shock.

"What about what is here already?" she asks gesturing around us.

I shrug, "I'll sell it," I say.

To my great surprise Eva shakes her head, "No, I love this place as it is, you can't replace everything just because I am moving in with you," she says.

I stare at her, "I want you to feel at home here" I say.

I see her face soften and she smiles, "I do, I love it here, it's beautiful," she says.

"But I picked everything, there is nothing of you here," I argue.

She leans forward and cups my jaw with her hand, "I will be here, isn't that enough?" she asks.

I grab her and pull her into my lap, "don't talk stupid Eva, of course, having you here is enough, I just..." I fade off not knowing how to finish, "I just want you to be happy," I say lamely.

"Gideon if I am with you, I am happy," she says then she reaches for the laptop and starts browsing. "You won't recognise the place once I have all my crap everywhere," she says with a grin.

I smile at the thought, I watch her and see she is looking at bedroom furniture.

"Perhaps we could compromise, the renovations will be to the bedroom area so we could perhaps get new stuff for there," she says and she turns to look at me.

I nod, it's not quite what I had in mind, this is one lot of renovations I don't want, it highlights just how fucked up I really am, that I can't even spend the night with my wife, but if this is what Eva wants then I am willing to go along with it.

"Sure, pick whatever you want," I say trying to sound engaged about it.

I obviously fail as Eva turns and frowns, "Are you sure you are on board with this?" she asks.

I wrap my arms around her and kiss her neck, "I just want you to be happy Angel, whatever you want, it's yours," I say.

"This is your home too, you have to be happy with it as well," she retorts.

"You will be living here, I'll be happy," I say.

I hear her sigh and she pushes away the laptop, "Gideon about these renovations," she begins.

I look at her waiting for her to elaborate.

"What is your goal?" she asks.

"I don't understand what you are asking," I say.

"These renovations, it makes our sleeping arrangement kind of permanent, and I don't want that, so I need to know that we are on the same page with this."

She hesitates and then gestures to herself, "my goal is that eventually we will get to a point where we can spend the entire night together, is that what you want?"

My heart breaks, I feel like such a fucking failure, I am a selfish asshole, I bullied Eva into marrying me and yet I can't even give her this fundamental thing in our relationship.

"Of course that is my goal," I say, although I'm not sure how I am ever going to reach it.

She nods, "and how are you planning on getting to that point?" she asks.

Crap! I stare at her, and I have no idea what to say.

She comes and sits next to me and reaches for my hand, "Gideon, I don't want to make a big thing about this, but if we make alterations to the apartment, it kind of makes our current sleeping arrangement permanent and I don't want that" she says.

"Angel, it kills me that I can't spend the whole night with you," I say.

"What if we talk it over with Dr Petersen he knows about your nightmares because he prescribes you the medicine, maybe he can come up with something you can do which will work alongside the medicine, give you a better chance at overcoming them?" she looks at me hopefully.

I am torn, it will mean me revealing more about myself than I am comfortable giving, but on the other hand, it would be considered worth it if it meant I could confidently spend the entire night with my wife without the fear of hurting her.

"I'll think about it," I say and Eva nods.

She doesn't push me, she has just accepted my response, she knows how I feel about shrinks and that is enough for her at the moment. We have our couple's therapy tomorrow night, maybe I could work myself up to saying something or perhaps leave it until I have my solo appointment next week.

We sit and talk and look through various furniture websites, in the end, I persuade her to pick out some stuff for the penthouse and I am happy with what she has chosen, it's not much, but knowing she picked the items for us gives me a little thrill. My mind starts thinking about food and I have just put the idea of some dinner to Eva when I hear the intercom phone ring, I stand and go to answer it.

"Mr Cross it's James at the front desk I have an Arash Madani here to see you?" he says.

"That's fine, send him up," I say and hang up.

"Who was that?" Eva asks.

"Front desk, Arash is on his way up," I say.

Eva smiles, "Ok, I'm going to order some food, what do you want?"

"I'm in the mood for a steak," I say and Eva grins.

"Good choice," she says and disappears to find the menus.

Arash appears a couple of minutes later and holds out an envelope to me.

"Thank you," I say as I take it from him.

"You don't look ill, yet Scott said you looked like shit when you left with Eva earlier," Arash says.

I shake my head, "I did and I felt like shit, but I'm feeling much better now," I say.

"Hi Arash"

I turn and see Eva joining us.

"Eva, good to see you again, you obviously have healing hands," Arash says.

I see the confusion on Eva's face, "he is referring to the fact I came home ill and yet now according to him, I don't look ill," I say.

"Oh I see, well he's feeling a bit better now aren't you baby?" she says.

"I am" I reply and I reach for her and pull her close, Arash smiles as he watches us.

"Well I'll be on my way and say goodnight to you both," Arash says after a moment.

I release Eva, "Thank you for this," I say holding up the envelope.

"No problem," he replies and with that, he turns and leaves.

Excitement is coursing through me as I pull Eva into the living room again, she watches me carefully she can tell something is going on.

I give her the envelope, "This will explain the courier this afternoon," I say.

She takes the envelope from me and stares at it suspiciously.

"Open it, it's yours," I say, the excitement rising within me.

Eva glances at me and then rips it open, she pulls out the deeds of the beach house along with a photograph of the property and the keys fall out of the envelope on to the floor, I stoop to retrieve them as Eva stands staring at the deeds her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open and she sits down unceremoniously on the sofa.

"You bought it," she says eventually.

"I did," I say "for you, this is my wedding gift to you", I say.

"Gideon this is too much," she says and shakes her head, I sit down beside her and reach for her.

"Look at me Eva," I say and she turns her head she still looks a little shell shocked, I explain my reasons for what I did.

"That weekend I spent there with you was one of the happiest of my life, in fact at that point in my life it was the happiest weekend I had ever had, bar none, it made me realise what we had together and what we could always have, it was there that the first thoughts of marriage entered my mind and took root," I stop speaking as I see tears welling up in Eva's eyes.

"You are so romantic, thank you, this is wonderful," she says and she flings her arms around me, a feeling of warm satisfaction floods me, I did good!


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

The next morning I am ready to go back to work, I was quite surprised when I received a call from Chris asking how I was, and I told him I was fine, because I am now. He had reiterated to me that he'd had no idea and that if he had he wouldn't have stood by and let it happen, he told me again that he believed me, that still blows my mind somewhat, that he takes my word just from what he heard Eva and I say yesterday with no proof to back it up... although what's the good of proof when others lie about it! I ruthlessly push back those memories which are stirring and try and regain my positive frame of mind.

As I pour some coffee, Eva joins me peering at her phone. I push a mug of coffee, made just how she likes it towards her. Just seeing her makes me feel immediately more settled. I'd had an oddly restrained night, I had made love to Eva but I was still worried last night and it wasn't until this morning I had the confidence to take her as I wanted to, as I needed to, which I did when we both woke up, and again in the shower.

My mind goes to how Eva took charge yesterday and how she protected me and fought for me against my mother, how she then took care of me when I had the ensuing meltdown and amongst all that shit she still knew instinctively how to handle the Giroux announcement and the statement which she seemingly plucked out of thin air, it makes me all the more determined to get her with me at Cross Industries.

I am starting to get irritated that she keeps blocking me on this, I can't understand why she is being so stubborn about it, she is so bright and capable and she would flourish there, that leads me on to my other thoughts of her boss Mark Garrity, he is another gifted and talented man, he had first caught my eye at the first Kingsman meeting, I had been surprised just how gifted he was, he handled himself well and I could see the potential of great things, and immediately I had wanted to head hunt him for Cross Industries, and up to now the only thing that has stopped me from doing so is Eva.

"I have some media reaction to Jean Francois announcement yesterday, and it appears they approached your PR people for comment as our press statement is also mentioned," Eva says pulling me from my thoughts.

She waves her phone at me and I take it from her and read the article, it is one of the bottom feeder websites and I cringe, wondering what their angle is.

_So folks its official Corinne Giroux and her husband are getting a divorce, we are wondering what took them so long! _

_After leaving her husband high and dry and returning to the States recently, Corinne Giroux seemed to be on a mission to try and get back with her ex-fiancé Gideon Cross who she had actually dumped for Giroux years earlier, but only to find she was too late and that he had comprehensively moved on, with the totally hot Eva Tramell, now the current Mrs Cross (which we can't fault in the slightest, even though she was completely the polar opposite to the tall brunettes he had, to that point, always normally been seen with) and so she has spent her time since trying to drive a wedge between the newlywed Cross couple and at one point almost seemed to succeed, as Cross himself admitted in a recent rare interview. _

_Gideon Cross and his new bride Eva were approached for comment on this latest development and a statement was released via Cross Industries PR on their behalf, it read that Mr and Mrs Cross are saddened by the news and send their condolences to the couple regarding this situation_, _but as this is clearly a private matter between the Giroux they have no further comment to make, let's hope that Corinne Giroux finally gets the message that there is no hope!_

I am actually quite impressed by the briefness of the article, and the general accuracy of the piece, if this is typical of the responses, then I think we can finally put this episode to bed and move on. However, what does irritate me is the fact they called Eva the 'current' Mrs Cross like it's a temporary thing, I look at her - Eva is my wife until the day she dies and when that happens my life will end also, as I don't intend on living a single day without her.

I hand Eva her phone back, "Is that the only alert you received?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No there are quite a few, but they all seem to be following the same angle" she says and I watch as she pushes the phone into her purse.

As she does so my phone buzzes and I fumble in my pocket for it and pull it out, I freeze as I see Corinne's name on the screen I look up at Eva and she must notice my discomfort as she is immediately on alert and striding towards me, her reaction warms me, just one look from me and she is ready to fight... for me.

"What is it?" she asks and I show her my phone which is still buzzing in my hand.

Her face goes stony "are you going to answer it?" she asks tightly.

I hesitate then answer it putting it on speaker so Eva can hear.

"Corinne," I say curtly.

"Hello Gideon," she says.

I see Eva stiffen as soon as she hears the voice and I reach for her to reassure her, "What do you want Corinne?" I ask.

After a short silence she responds, "I'm calling to say goodbye, I realise now that it was a mistake coming back to New York, so I'm making a fresh start, I'm going to stay with my brother for a while in LA and see if I can build a new life for me in California" she says.

"Alright, well good luck with that," I say, there is another distinct silence before she replies.

"Thank you" she replies and once more there is a silence almost as if she is waiting for something more from me.

"Is that all?" I ask eventually, as all I want is for this awkward conversation to be over.

"I'm not going ahead with the book," she says eventually a slight tremor in her voice

"Good, it was a poor decision to even consider doing it," I say harshly, Eva nudges me, "But thank you" I add as an afterthought at Eva's prompt.

"Ok then, well I guess this is goodbye," she says hesitantly, it's almost as if she is expecting me to ask her not to go, but I don't.

"Yes, Goodbye Corinne and good luck with whatever you choose to do with your life," I say and I hang up before she can respond.

"She almost sounded as if she wanted you to beg her to stay," Eva says as I throw my phone on to the counter.

"I got that too" I agree.

"So it's over?" Eva asks looking at me hopefully.

I nod, "So it would appear," I say relief coursing through me at the thought that Corinne has finally seen sense.

Eva throws her arms around me, "thank god for that" she says.

I feel the relief and as a gesture to my wife to prove to her that as far as I am concerned it is completely over and Corinne is no more, I pick up my phone and as Eva watches, I remove Corinne from my contacts and block her number.

"Gideon, you don't have to do that," she says.

I nod, I know that she cut Brett Kline completely out of her life so it's the least I can do to show her I'm just as serious about Corinne.

"I do, I have no intention of contacting her again so there is no need for me to have her number and I do not want her calling me, so to stop her doing so I have blocked the number," I say firmly.

Eva smiles at me, "thank you, but remember I didn't ask you to do any of that" she says.

"I know that" I reply and push my phone into my pocket.

Angus is waiting at the kerb when we emerge to go to work, after greeting me he looks at me carefully searching my face and I smile at him.

"I'm fine... honestly," I say.

I see him stare at me a moment longer then he nods his head, "Aye lad, I believe you are," he says and then he glances at Eva and gives her a warm smile. "Good morning Mrs Cross," he says affectionately.

"Morning Angus and how are you this morning?" Eva says brightly.

"Canny grumble lass, canny grumble," he replies in an exaggerated Scottish brogue.

We are nearly at the Crossfire when my phone rings again, I pull it out and am surprised to see Ireland's name on the screen, I frown, Ireland doesn't normally call me, since Eva had encouraged me to reconnect with my baby sister we have quickly become quite close, Eva was right, Ireland wanted to know me and she took the opening I gave her and has run with it, she will text me periodically through the day just to say hi and I have to admit I have come to look forward to those brief interactions with her, and am disappointed when I don't hear from her and I find myself texting her to see if she is ok, when I don't hear from her for a while, but as a rule she doesn't call me, texting is our preferred method of communication.

"Good morning Ireland," I say as I answer, but I go cold as all I hear in return is a quiet sob.

"Gideon," she says, clearly distressed.

I stiffen and sit up straight, "Ireland, what's wrong?" I ask panic and protective anger surging through me, Eva immediately looks up and is watching me carefully, with concern on her face.

"Mom and dad were fighting all night last night and now... dad's gone," she says another sob escaping her.

The shock I am feeling at hearing that must be showing on my face, as Eva moves closer and reaches out to me, she gives me a questioning look.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yes, I saw him go, he had a suitcase and he said he couldn't even look at mom at the moment, I just don't understand what's happened, dad never gets angry not like how he was last night, he is the most laid back person I know, and mom was crying it was horrible."

"Are you ok?" I ask, I'm not bothered how my mother feels but if this has to do with what came out yesterday and I have more than a nasty suspicion it does, then it's my fault it's happening and Ireland shouldn't be caught up in it.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I bothered you, I just needed to share, it's just such a shock, mom and dad don't fight, they never have, so hearing them like that, I wasn't used to it," she says.

The guilt overwhelms me, "Ok, well as long as you are ok, and it was no bother, and never think that. I'm your brother, if you need me, you call me, anytime," I say, not knowing what else to say to her.

I hear her sniff "Thanks, Gideon, I appreciate that," she says gratefully, before I can respond she continues, "Christopher just brushed me off when I called him, he said everyone fights and to get over it, but that's just it, mom and dad don't and never have had a fight, they have had disagreements but never an out and out fight like they did last night, dad was yelling and dad never yells."

"Well as I say, call me if you need me" I repeat, I'm at a loss, I have no idea what to say to make her feel better about this.

"Thanks, I have to go now, I have to go to school," she says.

"Alright," I say lamely.

"See ya! She says her tone a little brighter now.

"Bye Ireland," I say and hang up, I stare at my phone for a moment.

"Gideon" Eva says gently and I turn towards her.

"That was Ireland, she was upset, apparently my mother and Chris were arguing all night and then Chris left the house this morning with a suitcase saying he couldn't look at my mother," I say bleakly.

Eva gasps and then frowns, "Gideon, this isn't your fault," she says.

I stare at her incredulously, "How the hell is it not my fault?!" I spit back, and then immediately regret my sharp tone.

"Stop it!" she says sharply, rounding on me, "If the argument is about what you are thinking it is about, then Elizabeth brought this all on herself for not telling Chris at the time, and for not believing you."

I consider that and part of me knows what she is saying is right, but that isn't stopping the voice in my head telling me I am to blame, especially for the way Chris found out yesterday.

"But Ireland is upset, she witnessed everything that happened," I say.

"And how is that your fault? If Chris and your mother chose to have an argument of any sort regarding anything in front of their seventeen-year-old daughter then that is bad parenting on their part and nothing whatsoever to do with you," Eva says with a swipe of her hand.

I reach for my wife and pull her close, squeezing her tightly, too tightly, she responds and holds me, giving me the comfort and love I crave and it soothes me.

"This is not your fault Gideon," she reiterates.

I nod but don't say anything.

I am repeating the words 'it is not my fault' in my head like a mantra as we walk into the Crossfire building hand in hand, Eva leaves me on the 20th floor, making me once again aware of the fact I want her working with me.

**(EVA)**

As I leave the elevator on the 20th floor I give my husband one last hard look before I leave him. He is heaping all the blame upon himself for the fall out of what happened yesterday with Elizabeth and Chris, and in reality, none of it is his fault.

I am buzzed into the Waters, Field and Leaman offices and I walk past Megumi without a word. It still saddens me that she behaved the way she did, selling out our blossoming friendship for gossip on my personal life. It has also cast somewhat of a shadow over my place of work, as everyone now seems to be aware of what she did, I'm not sure if it's after my very public confrontation with Deanna here, or the fact I had told Shawna what Megumi had done. She had been incensed about it and I am guessing that is how it had gotten back to Mark, who was equally disgusted, but then somehow Will had also found out and so now there is an atmosphere when Megumi is around and it's not at all pleasant.

So much so, it even makes me start to consider Gideon's request to go and work for him at Cross Industries, plus if I were to do that it would undoubtedly make it easier for me to launch my foundation with the force of Cross Industries and Gideon's own Crossroads charity behind me, something which I am still determined to do, but which has taken somewhat of a backseat since we returned from the Caribbean with everything that has been thrown at us since then.

I sigh as I sit down at my desk, I'm feeling tired, really tired, it must be all the shit I've been wading through, it's been relentless. My mind goes back to the surprise when Gideon presented me with the deeds and keys to the Outer Banks beach house, I still can't believe he bought it, let alone bought it and put it in my name as a gift to me. I smile, I loved our time there and a moment later I am texting my husband with an idea.

_**Let's take off to our new beach house at the weekend? **_I hit send and wait.

His response is brief but quick and decisive.

_**Definitely x**_

I don't get any more from him and I push my phone into my drawer and turn my attention to my work.

**oooOOOooo**

By the end of the day, I am feeling totally drained, I have never felt so tired in my life, I'm even considering cancelling my couples therapy session tonight, which tells me how rough I am feeling because after the events of the past few days it is really important we do go.

I drag myself into the elevator and up to Cross industries and Gideon is just leaving the office as the elevator doors open, he frowns and steps in with me and reaching inside his jacket he pulls out his key and inserts it making our descent quick and stop free.

"Are you sick?" he asks me with concern.

I shake my head, "No just really tired" I say, he pulls me close and I close my eyes and rest my head on him, reiterating just how exhausted I feel.

He places his hand on my forehead still worried I am sick, "you are not warm, but you don't look well at all Angel" he says.

I look up and see the worry etched on his face and I smile, "I'm fine, it's just all the crap we've had to deal with since we got married, my visit to San Diego and everything that came up during that visit, Corinne and her damn book, Deanna, Anne fucking Lucas and then everything that happened yesterday with your mom and Chris which isn't over and I can't see being over for a while, then I have all my worries about you" I stop and Gideon's eyebrows rise at that.

"Me?" he asks.

I nod, and taking a deep breath I tell him what's on my mind.

"I want you healed Gideon, I want you whole and healthy and healed, I want you to go to bed with me and spend the entire night with me without the fear that you are going to have a nightmare" I say, I am shocked to discover tears are leaking from my eyes and I bat them away quickly.

"Oh, Angel" Gideon groans and pulls me close.

"And just so you are aware, I'm going to say all that to Dr Petersen tonight," I say and I feel him stiffen.

"Alright," he says warily.

The elevator doors open and Gideon leads me to the waiting Bentley in silence, Angus smiles but it fades into concern as he looks at me, do I really look that bad?

When we arrive at Dr Petersen's office Gideon is still very quiet, I know he feels backed into a corner, but I need to get him to open up more if he has any chance of letting go all the crap he has from the past, I know he has had to live with this alone for years and his way of dealing with it is to put it all in a box and forget about it and whilst those memories are ruthlessly held at bay during the day when his iron will has total control over them, at night when he is asleep and doesn't have that control, they taunt him and overwhelm him and I need that to stop for both our sakes.

Dr Petersen watches us carefully as we sit down.

"Are you feeling ill Eva?" he asks politely,

Jeez, I really must look like shit! I shake my head, "No, I just feel really tired" I say.

He nods, and picks up his tablet and stylus, "So who wants to begin?" he asks with a smile.

I look at Gideon, who remains silent and as usual it's me who opens the session and before I know it I am in floods of tears and have spilt my guts purging myself of everything that has happened.

"Ok then, erm... wow," Dr Petersen says slightly stunned at the deluge of things I have just blurted out.

"Sorry" I mutter, as I reach for a tissue from the box situated on the table in front of me. I'm more than a little embarrassed at that outburst, I'm not normally this over emotional.

"No not at all Eva, these events have clearly all had a profound effect on you, shall we go through them one at a time, and feel free to contribute Gideon," Dr Petersen says glancing at my husband who is now watching me carefully.

I sniff loudly and nod, "Ok," I say and wait.

"Right, so first of all your father didn't react too well to the news about your marriage?" he says.

I shake my head, "No he was so hurt, but I do think he had come around by the time we left San Diego" I say.

"But it is still concerning you enough for you to mention it?" Dr Petersen says.

I shrug, "I didn't want to hurt my dad anymore," I say.

"What makes you think you have hurt him?" Dr Petersen asks gently.

"He found out about Nathan and that hurt him because he was never told, and then I eloped and didn't tell him," I say.

"But you say yourself you and he were alright when you left and Gideon even flew in to talk to him face to face and address the issues he had."

I nod, "so it's really not an issue at all anymore," I say.

I take a deep breath and let my anxiety and lingering guilt go with my dad.

Dr Petersen smiles, next we discuss Brett and the tape and how that is now sorted and I told him how I told Brett I never wanted to see him again and that I have cut him out of my life, and saying that out loud again gives me a feeling of closure on that and on that entire chapter of my life. I know Gideon has a team keeping an eye on Sam in case he kept a copy of the tape despite signing a release to Gideon and an affidavit that stated there were no other copies in any form, so I consider that now over and done with and that gives me more piece of mind than anything else that my less than stellar past isn't going to come out at some point and embarrass my husband. I mentally check off that issue and let it go, and I am eager to continue now I have mentally let go of two of the things which were still bothering me and by doing so feels liberating.

The next thing I talk about is Corinne and her book and how we shut her down and in the process shut down Deanna as well, I realise that talking it all through and actually going through what happened and how we fixed it, is also giving me that sense of closure on the matter which I didn't have before, and a kind of calm feeling comes over me, this really is liberating, it is short lived though as Dr Petersen asks about what happened yesterday afternoon with Gideon's mother and stepfather.

Gideon who has not yet contributed in any way shifts in his seat and I look at him, I feel as though if I discuss this I am being unfair, as it is forcing him to talk about something which he clearly isn't comfortable doing yet, especially considering the whole origins of this subject matter and his understandable lingering distrust of shrinks as a result, and I can't help but wonder if I am being too harsh on him, pushing him the way I am doing, but then I think of the nights I have spent alone because Gideon is too scared to sleep in the same bed as me, not to mention the times in the past when Gideon has unknowingly attacked me in his sleep and the effect that'd had on him. I can't help but believe that if he just confronts his past rather than dismissing it when it clearly plays a huge part in his present and future, he will find some sort of acceptance and hopefully eventual healing of the terrible nightmares that plague him and which continue to damage him.

I reach out to him and grip his hand, Dr Petersen sees the gesture and his eyebrows rise but he doesn't comment, he just waits patiently for us to continue.

"I'm not sure what to say about this without feeling I'm betraying my husband and his trust in me," I say nervously.

I feel Gideon gratefully squeeze my hand and I turn to look at him once more, then I give him what I hope is an apologetic look before returning my attention to Dr Petersen.

"I had an... altercation, confrontation, argument, disagreement whatever you want to call it, with Gideon's mother yesterday afternoon," I begin warily.

"Alright," Dr Petersen says glancing at Gideon who is now staring at his shoes as if they are the most interesting thing in the world.

I lick my lips and swallow hard, "This is hard to explain because to tell you what it was about will betray the trust my husband put in me and yet I feel it needs to be discussed,"

I turn to look at Gideon pleadingly, "he needs to discuss it and talk about it and deal with it, but he is naturally reticent as he has lived with it alone for so long and there are other circumstances surrounding it which I accept, make it difficult for him to do that, but its time baby," Gideon looks at me, "It's time" I whisper again.

I wait and see an almost imperceptible nod of his head, I'm not sure if I even imagined it, because it was so slight but I grasp it with both hands as much needed consent and start to speak.

"Gideon's mother arrived in Gideon's office yesterday and I was there, I will point out that she doesn't like me," I pause, "At all," I say with blunt certainty and I watch as Dr Petersen smiles at that.

"Why is that?" he asks.

Before I can say anything Gideon looks up and speaks, "Because Eva told her the real truth and it doesn't tally with her version of it," he says bitterly, he looks at me, "carry on Angel" he says.

I smile at him and take a deep breath and continue.

"Anyway, she chewed Gideon out on getting married and shovelled a load of shit my way suggesting I was behind it all and that Gideon had no idea what he was dealing with, with me, she also had a dig about the way he allegedly treated Corinne, she is on team Corinne and thinks Gideon should be with her and we kind of put her straight on that... but I told her I loved my husband and that I protected and believed him, I was trying to hurt her as she knew what I was referring to when I said that and she took the bait," I stop and glance at Gideon who has resumed staring at his shoes.

"She then had a go at Gideon saying she couldn't believe that he had told me about... that" I stop and shift slightly.

"To which, he told her he hadn't told me and that I'd worked it out for myself because I had witnessed his nightmares and she denied it had happened and at that point I kind of lost it with her" I stop and wait.

"Dr Petersen looks at me kindly, "I appreciate that you are trying to protect Gideon now by not divulging the details but that does make it quite hard for me to help," he says gently.

"Gideon has these nightmares," I say.

Dr Petersen looks kindly at Gideon, "We have discussed these at some length in our private sessions are you comfortable with Eva discussing it here?" he asks.

I stare at Gideon in shock, he _has _been talking about it! I beam with unconcealed pride at my husband at this revelation.

"Oh well in that case" I say jumping in before Gideon can answer, "he said to her that he hadn't told me and I had guessed because I had witnessed the nightmares he has about when he was raped as a child, his mother didn't believe him and she denied it again and as I said that was when I kind of lost it" I say.

I stop at the look of shocked horror on Dr Petersen's face, I turn to Gideon in confusion.

"I have discussed the nightmares I have regarding my father's death... not the other ones, the ones which are linked to my parasomnia," he says evenly.

"Oh my God, Gideon I'm so sorry" I gasp, tears start to pour down my cheeks and feel I need to get away. I pull away from Gideon and I stand up, this immediately galvanises Gideon into action.

"Eva STOP" he commands, he stands up and pulls me close, "Stop right now, Eva look at me, stop it, and breathe," he holds my face in his hands and gazes into my eyes. As my gaze meets his, the tears fall even faster, and he moans.

"Don't cry, please don't cry, and please don't run, you're right... it's time" he says with a grim determination.

I look up at him, "I'm sorry" I mutter again.

"It's ok," he says and he brushes my tears away with his thumb and then sits down, he is still holding tightly on to me as if he is afraid I am going to run from the room.

Dr Petersen is watching us closely "so this would be the truth which doesn't tally with your mother's version of the truth?" he asks and then waits for one of us to speak, and at this Gideon leans forward with almost a resigned look on his face.

"When I was a child, I was put into therapy by my mother because of the way I was behaving due to my father's death and the other things which we have previously discussed, the health official who was meant to help me... molested me... he... he raped me, it started when I was about 12 years old and lasted for about two years, maybe more, maybe less I lost track, I eventually told my mother and she took me to be examined by a paediatrician and he... he lied, he lied and said nothing had happened, he did that because he was protecting my rapist, because he was his brother in law," Gideon stops he is shaking like a leaf and I shuffle close to him and wrap my arms around him.

"Gideon you are doing so well baby, so well, and I believe you, and I am so proud of you," I say earnestly.

"Alright, this is clearly very distressing for you, do you want to continue Gideon or do you want to leave it there for now, and continue this in our private session?" Dr Petersen asks.

I see Gideon look up and at me, "I want to discuss this now, but first I want Eva to finish talking about what happened yesterday as it is relevant," he says deferring to me. I nod, I think he wants a moment to regain his equilibrium before he talks about it again.

Dr Petersen turns to me and I recount, in full now, the events of yesterday afternoon.

"As I said when she denied anything had happened I kind of lost it with her and as I was telling her exactly what had happened, Gideon's stepfather showed up for a scheduled business meeting with Gideon and overheard everything, he was destroyed because Gideon's mother had never told him any of it, he didn't know and he was naturally angry and very upset. Gideon didn't handle it very well and I took him home for the rest of the day, this morning Gideon got a phone call from Ireland – that's his sister, saying that Gideon's mother and stepfather spent all last night arguing and fighting and that Gideon's stepfather left the family home this morning with a suitcase".

I stop and Dr Petersen is tapping furiously with his stylus on the tablet in front of him, then he stops and turns to Gideon.

"So how did that make you feel Gideon when you heard what your sister told you?" he asks.

Gideon shrugs, "Guilty, I had a good idea what it was they were arguing about and obviously I couldn't divulge that knowledge to my sister who was confused and distressed by what she had witnessed, so it was essentially guilt which dominated my feelings, not for them, but for Ireland to have to witness that, but Eva made me see it wasn't my fault, but the main thing which keeps going through my mind is shock that my mother never told him and the fact that now he does know that... he believes me".

I see the confusion on his face as he says this as if he can't comprehend that Chris has simply taken his word that those horrific events of years previously happened.

"This is going to take a hell of a lot of work, and many sessions to get you to a place where you are able to come to terms with what happened to you, simply because you have buried it for so many years and not discussed it with anyone because you were certain you wouldn't be believed, which considering what happened to you is an understandable reaction and I am deeply concerned that there is a practicing paediatrician out there who is shielding a paedophile and rapist, not to mention a therapist who is a paedophile and rapist," he says.

Gideon shakes his head, "the man who raped me is dead, when I was in a position to do something, the statue of limitations had run out, but I went to see him and told him he would never lay a hand on another child and that if he did I would set up an unlimited fund to make sure they got their justice, it was not long after that he killed himself, so from that I assumed there were other victims out there".

Dr Petersen nods at this, "and the paediatrician?" he asks.

"There lies another issue," I say.

"When I discovered the link and why he lied to my mother and effectively alienated me from my family, I got my revenge by returning the favour, I put a wedge between him and his wife," Gideon says grimly.

"And how did you do that?" Dr Petersen asks.

"I slept with his wife, and when she was ready to leave him for me I sent her back to her husband," he says.

"I see, and how is that another issue now?" he asks.

I answer that one, "Anne, that's the name of the wife of the paediatrician, she got kind of screwed up over what Gideon had done, and now that Gideon is with me she doesn't like it and she is playing mind games, showing up at places where I am and she even approached my best friend, it's like she is trying to goad Gideon or trying to get his attention, and is using me to do so," I say.

Dr Petersen nods.

"It was twisted between me and Anne, I was twisted, I was full of anger seeking revenge on her husband for what he did but also in a strange way I think I was also seeking revenge on my rapist as there was a family resemblance there – she looked a little like him and her mannerisms were similar to his as well, I saw glimpses of him at times when I was with her and I behaved accordingly," Gideon stops and puts his head down, the shame he feels for what he did is obvious.

"So you behaved in a way which you believed was getting your own back on your rapist?" Dr Petersen clarifies.

Gideon nods, and I see the shame overwhelm him, he knows what he did was wrong.

"Baby, you were totally screwed up over what he did to you and what her husband did, I don't condone what you did with Anne, it was wrong of you to punish her, for her brother and husbands actions, but everything you did with her was consensual, you never forced her to do anything, and she first approached you knowing she was married and then kept coming back for more and was even willing to leave her husband for you, it may have been twisted and depraved but she liked it and you never forced her against her will to do anything," I say.

Gideon looks up at this and that seems to register with him the expression on his face tells me he hadn't ever thought of it that way before, and he glances at Dr Petersen nervously waiting for his response.

"Eva's right, I certainly don't condone what you did, this woman was an innocent party, and unrelated to what her husband or her brother did. I also don't condone your notion of revenge but I understand that at that point it felt for you to be your only option, but Eva is right what you did and let's be very clear on this, whilst it was very, very morally wrong, it wasn't a crime, everything was consensual between two adults and nothing like the situation you endured with her brother when you were a minor."

Dr Petersen glances at his watch, "I'm sorry, but we seem to be out of time for today's session, but I really do want to continue with this when you come and see me privately Gideon, and also maybe again next week in your couple's therapy session. What you have divulged today goes a long way to explain your A typical parasomnia and I want to discuss that area more with you on your next visit as well as your different nightmares".

Gideon nods at this and I am relieved that he is accepting this and rolling with it.

"You have done very well Gideon, how do you feel now that you have talked about this openly as I am assuming it is for the first time?" Dr Petersen asks.

"Oddly liberated," Gideon replies and he looks at me and smiles.

"Good, that is a good sign and we will continue with this on your next visit," Dr Petersen says.

We both stand and Gideon wraps his arm possessively around me and pulls me to his side, then he holds out his hand to Dr Petersen.

"Thank you," he says.

"Not at all Gideon, I believe we have had a major breakthrough tonight and now I can appreciate why you have been so reluctant to talk with me, I have always felt that you have been holding back with me, tell me, does it make you uncomfortable to be in a room with me?" Dr Petersen asks.

Gideon shrugs, "I was very apprehensive at first, and as a result it has made me selective in what I have divulged, but Eva trusts you and I trust Eva, it's not easy for me but I will admit that I find it easier when Eva is here with me."

He squeezes me a little at this and I wrap my arms around him and squeeze him right back.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Gideon is still very quiet when we leave Dr Petersen's office, and as we climb into the waiting Bentley he reaches for me and holds on to me as if I am some kind of lifeline.

We ride in silence until Gideon suddenly speaks, "What do you want to do for dinner Angel?" he asks as we are nearing the Penthouse.

I shrug, "I don't mind, we can go out somewhere if you want to, or call for a takeout," I say.

Gideon pulls me even closer to him, "thank you" he says suddenly.

"For what?" I ask.

"For pushing me to face my demons" he says quietly, "I needed to do it, it is something I have always shied away from but now I have taken that first step I feel different and now, I believe maybe it could make a difference, whereas before I didn't believe it would, and that it was just rehashing stuff which should be buried and forgotten."

I smile at him, "the thing with burying stuff is, you can dig it up again when you least expect it and it can make things worse, this way you are dealing with it and setting it aside completely for good" I say.

He nods at me, "Is that what you did... with what happened to you?" he asks.

I think about that for a moment before answering, "Yes it is, and it was hard work and I still have to work on it, but for the most part I think I've succeeded, I'm not a victim anymore, I'm a survivor, don't get me wrong, there are still things which will trigger me and I guess there always will be but for the most part I'm doing ok," I say and squeeze his hand.

He raises my hand to his mouth and kisses me, "I suppose because I haven't really dealt with it and just tried to push it aside is the reason I still get these nightmares so regularly," he says.

"I've been telling you that," I say with a grin.

"I hope that I will overcome it eventually, I will try and talk about it and deal with it," he says, but even as he says this, I still get the feeling he's still not too sure about it.

"It's going to take time, so don't expect results immediately and the nightmares could increase, to begin with," I warn.

He nods his head at that.

"Gideon," I ask.

"Hmm," he says.

"Dr Petersen said you were talking about your nightmares with him but they were not the nightmares I thought they were, so what else do you dream about?" I ask and I turn slightly to face him.

"When you have them I have noticed, you behave one of three ways, sometimes you sob like a baby, like your heart is breaking and you just seem so sad, then there are the... sexual ones," the horrifying image of Gideon lying on the bed his back arched and his face contorted in pain while his hand brutally works his dick fills my mind and I ruthlessly will it away, "which are related to what you went through with Hugh, and the others where you are fighting and shouting I know when you wake up throwing punches, that is when you are fighting off Hugh in your dream, but what about the other ones?" I push.

I shuffle closer and Gideon pulls me even closer and then with a sigh he starts to talk, "my father's death, I have realised since I have been talking about it with Dr Petersen that I don't think I ever got over it, partly because, one minute he was there and the next he had killed himself and was gone, I was very young and just assumed that he didn't want to be with us anymore, that I had done something wrong," he pauses as I gasp at that revelation.

"Sometimes I still dream about that time, the profound sadness I felt after my father had gone," he says bitterly.

I am shocked and don't say anything but hold him tightly as he continues to speak.

"I have been working that through with Dr Petersen, he has been making me realise it wasn't my fault, my dad didn't die because he didn't want to be with us, he killed himself because he didn't want to face justice for what he did, of course I know logically now as an adult that has always been the case, but there has always been that lingering doubt there, Dr Petersen thinks that because my mother moved on so quickly, I was unable to grieve properly and say goodbye because everything else I knew and was familiar with, was torn away from me, which is why I get reoccurring dreams of my father and I'm starting to think that is probably the case, it also made me think that, that is why I was so wary of building any relationship with Ireland, I was scared in case I get close to her and then it gets taken away from me, and it's also why I can't handle the thought of you leaving me, why I get so irrationally afraid when I think that is going to happen, that is why I needed to marry you so quickly, I needed the legality of the vows, I needed that hold on you, so that you couldn't leave me without a fight."

He looks at me and I remember him saying how the worry started to go away when he married me, the worry that I could leave him easily without the bind of marriage.

"I've lost my family twice, once when my father died I lost that happy family unit and again when Lucas lied to my mother, I couldn't bear to go through it again a third time, Dr Petersen seems to think that is why I have never let anyone in, and why I struggle to open up and share with you, I'm protecting myself, because in my mind I think if you don't know something then it can't make you mad and you won't run, you won't leave me, but what I am just starting to realise is not telling you is ten times worse and more likely to make you run, so I'm trying Angel, I'm slowly learning to do it, I will fuck up and backslide but I _am_ trying, so please don't give up on me."

He stares at me and it breaks my heart to see the very real fear in his eyes.

"Gideon, I'm so proud of you and everything that you have accomplished, I know it's hard for you and I do try to make allowances and perhaps I shouldn't push you as I do, but I'm not going anywhere, you have made me so happy opening up like you did tonight with Dr Petersen, and what you have just told me about your nightmares. That is the first time you have ever shared with me some of what you go through when you have them, and I feel honoured that you have shared that me."

I lean up and kiss him and he pulls me in and takes over the kiss groaning as his tongue invades my mouth.

He pulls away and leans his forehead against mine, still holding me tightly, a little too tightly, almost as if he lets go I will disappear, "I will share my nightmares with you, I swear I will, I realise now that not sharing with you was worse than telling you, much like me keeping things from you, but I was afraid to tell you before in case it made you realise what you were getting involved with, I'm selfish I wanted you and I didn't want you to find out and decide that you didn't want to be with someone who was as fucked up as I am," he says.

I am astonished at just how forthcoming he has been tonight, it's like a dam has burst and he is letting everything out, and as I think about that I feel a new sense of positivity that we are going to be ok. It has also shown me just how vulnerable and insecure Gideon really is. He pulls away from me as the Bentley comes to a halt outside our apartment, I see him glance out of the window and freeze, that makes me turn to see what has caught his attention and I see Anne Lucas loitering around clearly waiting for us to climb out of the Bentley so she can 'be seen'.

"Gideon, don't let her get to you," I say firmly.

"I don't want her to keep doing this to you," he bites out, fury lacing his words.

"Hey look at me," I say pulling his face towards me, "Stop it, she doesn't bother me, she doesn't even register with me, so leave it," I say.

I watch as the anger fades away and he relaxes, I smile at him, and the idea I had previously pops into my mind once more, and after all we have discussed tonight I believe that if we do this right, it will go a long way to healing Gideon, I had latched on the fact Dr Petersen was treating each part of Gideon's night time activities separately, whereas I had lumped everything together because I wasn't totally aware of all the facts, now I am I can see things a whole lot clearer and a solution is rapidly forming in my mind.

The way I see it is Gideon feels guilty for what he did with Anne, he said himself what they did was twisted, it was all down to revenge, and in some recess of Gideon's mind that eats away at him, and I think that is why he still plays out his revenge on Hugh in his dreams, where he becomes the aggressor acting out the sick abuse Hugh did, if he could get his closure with Anne I think that will go some way to helping with that night time hell he acts out. It's just a case of working out how to do it and I am hoping the plan that I have formulating in my mind will go some way to do just that.

But I don't think tonight is the time to broach it, not after Gideon has shared so much already, so instead I continue to piece together in my own mind the plan which is quickly taking shape which I am hoping will get Anne Lucas off our backs once and for all, get some real revenge for what her husband did and hopefully get some closure for Gideon.

"Let's go out somewhere for dinner," I say suddenly, I still feel really tired but I push it aside as I want to distract Gideon from our unwelcome visitor.

Gideon smiles and reaches for his phone, moments later we have a reservation at Tableau One, Gideon leans forward and tells Angus to take us there.

I glance down at myself, we went to Dr Petersen's office straight from work so we are still in our work attire, I pull out my compact and touch up my make-up and check my hair, I don't look too bad, even though I feel so damn tired, and I can see why people thought I was ill as my face is pale and I have dark circles under my eyes. Gideon, of course, looks perfect.

"You look, beautiful Angel," he says, pulling the hand which is fussing with my hair away and kissing my fingers.

I smile and push the compact back into my purse. "You're biased" I retort.

It doesn't take long to arrive and when we do we are quickly seated, as we are waiting for our starter to arrive, I look around for Arnoldo but he's nowhere to be seen. If I am honest I am pleased about that as I'm pretty sure he doesn't think too much of me.

"Everything ok Angel?" Gideon asks as he watches me glancing nervously around.

I nod, "yes Arnoldo doesn't seem to be here and I'm relieved," I say.

Gideon's eyes widen at that and he looks at me questioningly, "Has Arnoldo upset you?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No, it's just… I don't think he likes me very much, after what happened with Brett, my guess is he doesn't think I'm good enough for you" I say and I look down, as the shame of that night fills me again.

Gideon immediately reaches for me to reassure me, "Hey, stop it, and it's none of his business, he is entitled to his opinion but if that colours the way he treats you then you must tell me immediately and I will speak to him," he says firmly.

I shake my head, "No, I won't, he's your friend I don't want to come between you guys" I say. That leads me on to something I have been thinking about.

"Gideon I think we should have a party," I blurt out.

"Alright," he says warily.

I smile, "you see the way I see it is, you have your friends and I have mine, I think, considering we are married and it's all out there, that we are we should have a bringing the crews together kind of evening, something where we do something we will enjoy and sort of... I don't know, bring us all together," I say thinking how lame that sounded.

Gideon smiles and nods, "that sounds a good idea, I'll round up my friends and you do the same with yours and we will organise something, maybe at a club that way everyone would be relaxed and there wouldn't be the pressure of conversation like there would be if we all went out for dinner," he says.

I nod enthusiastically "that sounds great," I say and I grip his hand which is still holding on to mine.

"Aah good evening Gideon," Arnoldo's voice reaches my ears and I see him greet my husband warmly.

He turns to me, "It is good to see you too Eva," he says politely but also a little stiffly, and he glances at my ring. "And it seems I should congratulate you both on your announcement," he adds but I can't help but hear the reservation in his voice.

Arnoldo turns his attention to Gideon and chats amiably with him until the waiter arrives with our starter and then he makes his excuses to leave.

"I will leave you to eat your dinner in peace," he says and he nods at us both once more before disappearing into the kitchen.

Well, that was pretty conclusive, he totally ignored me while he was talking with Gideon and I know Gideon noticed it too. I'm certain he really doesn't like me but I'm not going to say anything, Gideon and Arnoldo are good friends, and I don't want to spoil that for him because from what I have seen Gideon is tight with his friends but there doesn't seem to be many of them and the last thing I want to do is deprive him of one of them.

Gideon reaches across the table for my hand, "Stop it Angel" he says.

I smile, "I'm fine, honestly," I say and I give his hand a gentle squeeze.

When the waiter returns to clear our empty starter dishes away I take a gulp of the wine and frown at the unpleasant metallic taste in my mouth. I dismiss it and return my attention to Gideon, who is wiping his mouth his napkin.

"Are we still going away this weekend?" I ask.

"Absolutely" he replies as he reaches for his wine, I watch him drink it and he sees me staring and pauses, "Is there a problem Angel?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No, my wine just tasted a bit funny and I wondered if you noticed," I say.

Gideon immediately reaches for my glass and sniffs and takes a sip of my wine, "It tastes fine to me," he says.

I shrug, "It must be me," I say.

The waiter rejoins us and places our meals down and my mouth waters at the smell of the food. After checking everything is ok and we don't need anything we are left alone once more.

By the time we have finished and are ready to leave, I am feeling totally exhausted, I am fighting to keep my eyes open and I stifle a yawn behind my hand. Gideon looks at me with concern.

"Are you sure you are not sick Angel? It's not like you to be so tired all the time?" he says.

I nod, "I know, I have no idea what it is, Megumi was off with the flu recently so there is always the chance I could be coming down with it, but I've felt like it for a while now, I'm hoping it's a reaction to everything that has been thrown at us recently, because you have to admit it has been kind of relentless, but I do feel a sense of closure now I have talked it through and got everything straight in my head so I'm hoping that will help" I say.

Gideon nods, "Good, that is probably what it is then, it is the stress leaving you," he says.

"Yeah," I say agreeing with that.

When we get back to the Penthouse, Gideon lifts me gently into his arms and carries me to the bedroom and then with achingly tender care he undresses me and leads me to the bathroom so I can have a wash and do my business before I go to bed, I feel a bit bad at going to bed so early but Gideon tells me not to worry and that if I need the rest I should take it.

I reach out for him, "But what about you?" I say.

I watch as his lips move upwards into a wry smile, "Angel, I'm sure I can survive one night without having sex with you, besides," he says pulling me closer, "I can always double up in the morning"

I push at his shoulder, "fiend" I retort.

He grips me tighter, and throwing his head back he laughs loudly.

**oooOOOooo**

The next morning I awaken to the feel of the bed moving and Gideon pressing himself against me, I moan and roll over to face him, he is naked and very aroused, I reach between us and touch him, making a soft moan escape him.

"Good morning Angel," he murmurs thrusting his hips shamelessly so his cock pushes into my hand.

"Good morning Ace, feeling horny?" I ask with a grin.

"Very," he says and a moment later he has rolled on top of me.

He cups the side of my face with his hand and lowers his mouth to mine insistently pushing his tongue against my lips so he can gain access to my mouth, I part my lips and let him in and his hand moves lower down to my breast and he kneads it, there is an urgency to his movements, as his hand moves even lower until his finger circles my clit and then thrusts inside me. I moan and my hips come up to meet his hand, he disengages our lips and trails a line of kisses down my neck, he pauses at my breast and taking the nipple in his mouth sucks on it and as his teeth touch my nipple, pain surges through me and I yelp.

He releases me immediately, concern and panic on his face.

"What just happened?" he asks.

I shake my head, my hand coming up and gently touching my breast, "I don't know my breast it feels so tender, it hurt when you did that, it's never felt like that before," I say then it hits me.

"My period is due, that is probably what it is," I say.

Gideon looks relieved and smiles his head moving lower, "I'll just have to entertain myself down here instead," he mumbles from between my legs.

My thighs drop open as he settles between them and all too soon I am moaning with pleasure, he is relentless and as I feel the first burst of my orgasm hit me I scream out his name.

A moment later Gideon is rearing over me and thrusting deep, he gasps as he pushes himself in, he isn't gentle there is almost a hint of desperation in his actions this morning and he starts a punishing rhythm.

As he thrusts, I feel myself building again and all the while Gideon is telling me how good it feels and how he wants me to milk his dick dry, my inside clenches around him and he growls making him thrust harder.

I feel him swell and lengthen inside me and I tense my muscles enclosing around him and squeezing him hard, he comes with a roar and throws his head back, I feel the scorching heat of his eruption inside me and it sends me headlong into another orgasm.

"Gideon" I scream digging my nails into his back. Eventually, we both come down from our high and Gideon slowly starts to move again, I smile he hasn't softened in the slightest even after that massive orgasm and he is ready to go again, I wrap my legs around him and pull him closer letting him know I am equally willing for another round.

When I eventually make our way downstairs I glance at Gideon's phone which he has left on the worktop, he has the calendar open informing him of his schedule for the day and as I catch sight of the date I frown, that can't be right? I pull out my phone and check my own calendar and the marker I have which tells me when my period is due... it was over a week ago, I am late, suddenly all the tiredness makes sense as does the strange taste I had when I drank the wine and my tender breast.

I start to panic and feel like I can't breathe, surely not, I'm on the damn pill, but that is the only contraception we use and the number of times Gideon takes me in a day let alone a week the odds are stacked against us that if any mishap should occur it would happen to us. I try and calm down, I'm jumping to conclusions and I don't want to say or do anything until I'm sure, but I go through all the 'symptoms' I have been experiencing and it all seems pretty conclusive. I try and reign in my rising panic and smile at Gideon as he approaches with a mug of coffee.

I take a sip and I am once again hit with a totally unpleasant taste, I force myself to swallow and then place the mug down, Gideon stares at me in surprise, he knows of my java dependency all too well.

I look up at him, and try and distract him "If we are going to the Outer Banks tomorrow will there be any furniture if not won't we need some?" I ask.

Gideon smiles, "no there won't be any so we need to order some so it will be delivered to us," he says.

I shrug, "We don't need much," I say.

Gideon wraps his arms around me, "I made sure the previous owner left the bedroom fittings and furniture and I specifically asked for the bed so we have somewhere to sleep... or not" he says nuzzling against me.

I turn my head giving him better access and try and concentrate on what Gideon is doing rather than my panic-stricken thoughts.

"Well we can sort out what we need while we are there then, and order it together tomorrow," I say.

"Good idea" he says still nuzzling against me, he is in a really good mood and I have no doubt that is down the large amount of sex we've had already today, which again makes me think of my recent discovery.

We go to work and as soon as I am alone at my desk I call Cary.

"Hey baby girl," he says, he sounds happy and I'm pleased, he had text me previously to say things were good between him and Trey now.

"Cary," I say and stop.

"What's happened?" he asks his voice turning serious.

I swallow hard, "I think I might be pregnant" I whisper.

"What?! Shit, does Cross know?" Cary asks.

"No, it's only a theory at this stage, I'm late and I'm experiencing... symptoms, I'm really tired all the time and get an odd taste in mouth – kind of metallic, and other things" I say remembering how tender and painful my breast feels, not to mention my emotional outbursts and how tearful I have been recently.

"Ok, well you need to find out for certain, don't panic I'll meet you for lunch," he says.

"Thank you," I say gratefully and I am shocked to discover I am crying... again.

**oooOOOooo**

Lunchtime rolls around quickly and I head out, Cary is waiting for me in the lobby a concerned look on his face, I walk into his arms and he hugs me.

"Hey, come on baby girl," he says.

He hands me a paper bag and leads me out of the building, I glance inside and see two boxes each containing two tests, I look up and my friend and manage a weak yet grateful smile.

"I thought you'd want know for sure," he says with a shrug.

We go to the taco place which we have visited before and I disappear to the toilet to do the tests. I lock the door and wait, it is the longest two minutes of my life as I watch the tests. Eventually, the time is up and I gingerly pick up one of the tests, I gulp as it tells me what I suspected, in vain I check the others but there is no mistake, they all tell me the same thing. My legs almost give way as I see the results, it couldn't be much clearer, I'm pregnant!

With shaking hands, I put the tests carefully into the boxes and back into the bag then place the whole lot into my purse. I go and wash my hands and take a deep breath and then head out to Cary who is waiting anxiously.

"Well?" he says as I sit down, but the look he is giving me tells me he has already guessed the truth.

I nod once and he sits back and takes a deep breath.

"Oh shit, oh baby girl," he says.

"What the hell am I going to do? I don't want a baby, not yet" I hiss quietly.

Cary reaches over the table towards me, "what you need to do is sit down with your husband and tell him and then you can work this out together," he says.

I stare at him, I was so wrapped up in my own panic I hadn't even considered how Gideon is going to take this news! I start to breathe heavily, the feeling that I can't breathe at all starting to overwhelm me.

"Hold it together baby girl, come on deep breaths," Cary says gripping my hand.

I try and control my breathing, "Ok?" he asks and I nod.

I force down some lunch and try and work out how I am going to break this to Gideon.

"We are going away this weekend, he has bought the Outer Banks house where we went that weekend you were attacked," I say.

Cary grins, "nice," he says.

I manage a sincere smile, "yeah it was quite the surprise when he presented me with the deeds and keys" I say, "he said it was his wedding present to me" I add.

Cary's eyebrows rise, "I'd say the present you are giving him is more surprising!" he says.

"Don't," I say shaking my head.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Look, this weekend is the perfect time to tell him though, you will be alone away from New York and it gives you time to discuss it and work things out... as to what you are going to do" he stops and looks at me carefully.

I realise he is wondering if I am considering abortion, I think about it for a moment, and then in a rush I dismiss it, the idea making me feel physically ill, this baby was made with our love there is no way I could do that, and in that moment all the panic recedes and I'm hit with a crashing clarity, I am going to be a mom, my hand goes unconsciously to my stomach, and a wave of maternal protectiveness fills me.

"I'm going to be a mom" I whisper tears filling my eyes.

Cary smiles, "and you are going to be a brilliant one," he says squeezing my hand.

**oooOOOooo**

My plan of waiting until we are alone at the Outer Banks dissolves that evening when Gideon and I are alone, I can't keep this to myself any longer it is driving me insane with worry at how he is going to react and I would sooner the reaction came while we are in New York, rather than miles away.

I build myself up to telling him, I have been home for a while and I have cooked us dinner, Gideon sent me a text a short while ago to tell me he was finished and would be home soon. I glance at my watch, it's nearly 7:30, so I quickly set the table for dinner and make sure everything is perfect. When I hear him arrive, he throws his jacket down and empties his pockets, glancing at the table, he sniffs the air and smiles.

"You've cooked?" he says and the beautiful almost grateful smile he gives me is heartbreakingly sweet, and all it succeeds in doing is making me more on edge about what is going to come.

I nod, and he frowns he can clearly see I'm on edge.

"It smells really good," he says warily and that does it, I burst into tears and walk into him, wrapping my arms around him and crying into his shirt.

He freezes a moment and then his arms come around me.

"Hey, what is it? What's wrong, your cooking isn't that bad?" he jokes but I can hear the note of worry in his voice.

I pull away from him and wiping my face and trying to pull myself together I grasp his hand and determinedly lead him to the sofa, this is it I have to tell him now before I lose my nerve, he sits and watches me as I go and pour him a generous glass of bourbon, he takes it from me without a word but doesn't touch it and sets it down in front of him on the table.

"Come here Angel" he demands in that calm no-nonsense tone which calms me slightly, "You are worrying me," he adds.

I sit down and grasp his hand, my breathing starts getting harsh and ragged as the panic once again consumes me, and I fight the panic which is making breathing increasingly difficult.

"Talk to me, what has upset you?" he says, he is gazing at me and rubbing his thumb rhythmically over my knuckles.

"I'm pregnant," I say, blurting out the secret I have been carrying around all day in a rush. I wait for his reaction and it comes immediately.

I feel him freeze, and I look up to see all colour drain from his face and there is a look of complete stupefied horror and my heart immediately sinks.

"What did you say?" he asks eventually.

"I'm pregnant," I burst into tears again, "I'm sorry I have no idea how it happened, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry" I ramble.

"Eva stop and shut up," he says and the next thing I realise he has pulled me into his arms and is holding me tightly.

I grip him and sob uncontrollably into his chest.

He lets me cry and then when I eventually stop he gently eases me away from him, the colour has now returned to his face and he gives me a small smile.

"Right, now I have got over the initial shock, tell me again," he says.

I stare at him and he smiles, "Say those words to me again" he orders.

I sniff and rub my face, "I'm pregnant" I whisper, I squeeze his hand, "Are you ok with this?" I ask a small amount of hope inside me rising a little.

He closes his eyes briefly and then opens them again and fixes his gaze on me, holding up his hand, he reaches for me and brushes his fingers against my cheek, and I close my eyes at the feeling.

"So, I'm going to be a daddy?" he asks quietly, almost with a sense of bewildered awe.

My eyes fly open and our eyes meet, I see he has tears in his and I nod. His response is immediate he engulfs me wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his lap and he just holds me and sobs into my shoulder. I am slightly stunned at this reaction and I silently hug him back, relief filling me that maybe he is going to be ok with this.

I suddenly remember the meal I have cooked and I push away from him, "our dinner" I say by way of explanation as he grips me tighter and looks at me questioningly.

He reluctantly releases me and as I head to the kitchen, he follows watching me carefully.

He doesn't say a word as I dish up the meal I have prepared and it isn't until we are sitting at the table does he eventually speak.

"It was a shock, I'm sorry if I scared you with my initial reaction" he begins.

I smile, as I take a bite of my dinner, Gideon does the same and moans in appreciation, he points at his plate with his fork, "this is good," he says and takes another mouthful.

"How do you really feel about it?" I ask.

He pauses, his fork suspended in mid-air and he puts it back down on his plate and grips his hands together in front of him.

"I won't lie it was a shock, I was expecting to have you to myself for a while, but I'm not angry or upset, I want to have a family with you Eva, I want everything with you, but I wasn't expecting it to happen just yet," he pauses, "what about you? How do you feel?" he asks.

I snort, "Truthfully? I was panic-stricken when I first suspected, I called Cary and he managed to calm me down and he met me for lunch and got me some tests, to find out for sure, I still have them in my purse" I look around at my discarded purse lying on the chair.

"I think I have had every reaction known to man go through me since I found out for certain, at first I was in denial and told myself I didn't want this, and I wasn't ready, but that quickly passed," I say quickly noting his alarmed look.

"Then I was terrified how you were going to react to the news, but I now I think I am happy about it" I glance down and see I have my hand on my stomach.

Gideon reaches across the table, "and so am I Angel" he says. He smiles, "you say that you still have the tests?" he asks.

I nod, "yeah, they are still in my purse," I say.

"May I see them?" he asks.

I stare at him in surprise, "Sure if you really want to" I say and I go to stand up.

He reaches for me, "wait, let's eat first" he says and I sit down and resume eating my dinner.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

**(GIDEON)**

I open my eyes and look around, I am momentarily disorientated by my surroundings, and then I remember, I am at the beach house at the Outer Banks, it's Sunday and we will be leaving today to return to New York.

I glance around at the bedroom, Eva had loved the bedroom furniture so much the last time we were here I had specifically asked for it to be included when I bought the house and after Eva had suggested coming here this weekend I had got someone to come and clean the place and prepare for our arrival and put fresh linen on the bed which I had also asked to be left. The rest of the house is completely bare, but Eva and I are going to furnish it and decorate it as we want to, that pacifies me slightly after Eva refused to change anything about the Penthouse when I was prepared to totally refurbish it.

My gaze moves to the empty bed beside me, I frown wondering where Eva is, I had gone to sleep on the couch in the corner of the bedroom which I'd had brought in for this weekend but slid into bed beside my wife early on this morning. But now she isn't here and a slight feeling of panic fills me at her absence.

I think back to the conversation we had on Friday night, and the subject we studiously avoided all day yesterday, the fact that I'm going to be a father, which had completely knocked me for six at first. I wasn't expecting it although I suppose I should have realised that it was more than a possibility.

Before Eva I'd never had sex without a condom, I'd religiously protected myself against the risk of disease and an unwanted pregnancy, even when the women I screwed assured me they were on the pill. It was different with Eva we had only used a condom twice, and I had accepted her assurance that she was clean and protected without question.

I often question why I so easily allowed myself to be persuaded, it was reckless to the point of stupidity, considering who I am and yet I know without a doubt the answer as to why I did it, it wasn't as simple as my own pleasure it was something more... something deeper, more profound, and certainly more complicated. I had felt a connection to Eva from the very first moment I saw her and the very first moment I laid eyes on her I knew deep down somewhere inside me that I needed her, that I needed to be inside her without any barrier between us.

I realise now it was a primal thing as nothing turns me on more than to feel my semen inside her, when I push my dick inside her when we have been at each other for hours, that feeling knowing I had marked her somehow with my very essence, that I've left a part of me inside her, it is a mixture of conquest and surrender all rolled into one.

I've always known it was a risk relying on just her pill to protect us, considering the number of times a day I take her, significantly reduced the odds should a contraceptive malfunction occur, and now the consequences of that risk I regularly took have come to pass.

I think about it for a moment, I am going to be a father, another human being, one who I am responsible for creating, is going to be totally reliant on me for everything. That thought overwhelms me for a second and then I consider it further, materially my child will want for nothing, and I will make sure they will get the best of everything, but emotionally... I have no point of reference, my own father killed himself when I was young and before then I just have odd snippets of memory like when he taught me to ride my bike and that day on the beach building sandcastles, I don't want that for my child, I want them to know without any doubt that they are loved, I want them to feel secure, safe and happy.

Then a memory I had long since forgotten pops into my mind, a memory from not long after my mother had married Chris, he was with me holding my hand and we were walking through Central Park, he was talking to me, telling me he didn't want to take my father's place but that he would always be there for me and that I could always count on him. Then I see a memory of Angus appearing and protecting me against a group of boys who had cornered me as I was coming out of school.

A sense of crashing clarity settles on me, this baby is relying on me to protect him or her and not only them but their mother, how can I do that if I can't even spend the damn night with my wife without fear of hurting her, I was almost there, more or less after the events on Thursday, I was coming around to the idea of sharing more and telling Dr Petersen more and accepting I needed to do so, but I was still holding back, I was still unsure of actually taking that step, but now... this is the wake-up call I needed to solidify those initial thoughts of acceptance and erase the lingering doubt that I have, I am going to be a father and as such I need to do whatever it takes to get my shit together, I cannot risk my issues to be transferred on to my child, I am going to call Dr Petersen and tell him everything, and do whatever it takes to fix myself so I can be the father this child deserves and the husband my wife certainly deserves.

I had already promised to be more forthcoming with Eva, but this cements it in my mind and makes me determined to see this through and do whatever it takes. I feel goose bumps cover me and I shiver at my epiphany and I suddenly need my wife, desperately. I leap out of bed and look around the beach house but I can't find her and the fear and panic start to rise from deep within me.

"EVA!" I call as I move from room to room, and then I stop dead, as I look out of the window I see her, she is outside on the deck gazing out across the water. She turns as she hears me calling her and smiles as she sees me, the blanket she has wrapped around her falls to the ground.

In a moment I am beside her and pulling her to me.

"Angel," I say, relief filling me at finding her.

"I just came out for some air," she says and then she shivers suddenly.

I immediately reach for the blanket, wrapping it back around her and I pull her close.

"You're cold," I say as I fuss with the blanket, and I take a good look at her and see she looks very pale.

"Are you alright?" I ask, worry piercing me.

"I just feel a bit sick," she says with a rueful smile, "I originally got up to throw up and then I came out here so I didn't disturb you," she says.

I smile, "Morning sickness?" I say and she nods.

"Yes, I felt a bit sick yesterday morning and I realise I have done a few other times previously but dismissed it, but today it was the first time it's actually happened but I'm sure it won't be the last," she says.

"Oh Angel, I'm sorry, can I do anything to help?" I say and I pull her close, there is a cool sea breeze and I shiver a little as it brushes over me.

She shakes her head, "No, now I've been sick, the feeling of nausea is starting to fade, I'll be ok again soon I think" she says.

I am relieved at that but I don't say anything and just hold her close to me.

"Is everything ok?" she asks me pushing away slightly and looking closely at me and I smile, I can't hide anything from my Angel, she can see right through me, and always does.

"I had somewhat of an epiphany when I woke up," I say my hands running restlessly over the blanket shrouding my wife.

"Let's go inside," she says and leads me back inside we go to the bedroom as that is the only room furnished and we sit down on the bed.

"Ok, I'm listening" she urges.

"I am going to call Dr Petersen when we get back, I am going to do whatever it takes to fix me, I need to be the husband you deserve and I'm going to be a father god damn it, I need to be a good father and how can I do that if I can't even sleep in the same bed with my child's mother?" I stop and Eva reaches for me.

But I take a deep breath and then continue to speak, "I am going to tell him everything, I am going to do this, I am going to make you and my child proud of me, I think I was already pretty much ready to accept this after Thursday and now this news it makes me all the more determined to do whatever it takes" I say.

"Gideon I _am_ so proud of you," Eva says her eyes shining as she looks up at me.

I swallow hard, I still find it difficult to accept the praise she heaps upon me.

"I have an idea which I think may also help," she says carefully.

"Oh?" I ask.

She nods, "I wasn't going to bring it up yet but it's something that I have been thinking about for a while now," she says.

I wait for her to continue.

"Anne Lucas," she says and I freeze, and she tries to reassure me as she sees my reaction, "Don't, just hear me out," she says and she reaches for me again.

I wait, and Eva squeezes my hand and then runs her other hand up and down my arm, she always does this to try and calm me down or to comfort me when she tells me something, which she thinks will upset me.

"The idea started forming in my mind a while ago, but after our therapy session Thursday night and after I saw Anne outside our apartment building, it solidified and took shape" she begins, "I didn't want to say anything at the time as I thought you'd been through enough and shared enough to be hit with anything else, I was going to put together a plan and present it to you at a later date and see what you thought" she adds.

I nod, I'm still silent and wait for her to elaborate.

"You see, I see it like this" she begins and she shuffles closer to me, "I believe that you feel a degree of guilt for the way you treated Anne, and I think that guilt you feel manifests itself in your parasomnia, It wasn't until I realised that Dr Petersen was treating each part of your night time... activities separately, that the idea came to me, you see I had lumped everything together because I wasn't totally aware of all the facts, but now I can see things a whole lot clearer," she pauses.

"Go on," I say wondering what is coming next, but my interest has certainly been peaked by what she has said so far.

"The idea which I have, will I hope, get Anne Lucas off our backs once and for all, get you some real revenge for what her husband did which I think you need for your acceptance and healing and hopefully it will get some closure for her as well, and I believe that if you get that closure with her... It will go some way to making your nightmares and your parasomnia recede".

I give her a slightly incredulous look as I can't see it myself but I am intrigued to hear more.

"The way I see it is as I've already said, you feel guilty for what you did with Anne, you said yourself that what you did with her was twisted, for you it was all down to revenge, and in some recess of your mind that eats away at you, because you know it wasn't the right thing to do, as she was the wrong target, she wasn't the one to blame for what her husband and brother did, and I think that is why you still play out your revenge on Hugh in your dreams, if you could get this closure with Anne which will also result in a suitable and acceptable revenge on Dr Lucas, I think that will go some way to helping with that night time hell you act out, not to mention the nightmares of Hugh attacking you".

"What do you have in mind Angel?" I ask, I even though I am sceptical I can't fault her logic and am interested to hear what she is planning.

"Confront her" she says simply, "tell her what her sick bastard brother did and what her husband did, apologise to her for your behaviour towards her but also make it clear that what you did was down to the actions of her brother and husband," I say.

I let out a little snort, "That sounds all very good Angel, but how do you expect her to believe me?" I say.

She smiles serenely, "Ah now that's where I come in, I believe that I could get a confession out of Lucas if I know what buttons to press," she says an evil smile on face.

"Explain," I say.

"I go and see him, much like I did last time, he was on the verge of telling me, it was written all over his face, all it would take is a few well-placed questions and I believe he would trip himself up somehow, I just know it, as he is desperate for me to believe you are some kind of monster so I could use that and all the while I would be recording our conversation, I got that idea from when you told me you had recorded your conversation with my dad, we will then have the proof, we go to Anne and let her hear it and we could also use it to out Lucas as the lying slimeball he is, and let the world know exactly what he is capable of, and make sure he doesn't practice as a paediatrician any more, and I think that would also go some way as proof for your mother and get you some kind of closure there as well, as I believe that hurts you more than you would ever let on," she stops and looks carefully at me.

"You appear to have thought about this a great deal," I say, I am actually quite impressed at the detail of the plan she has in mind.

"I think about you constantly and I want you healed so of course, I have," she says with a shrug.

"I would say yes, but…" I stop and glance at her stomach, realisation dawns on her face.

"Because I am pregnant you don't want me to do this," she says and then sighs, "Gideon, listen to me, I am doing this for us, nothing will happen, what if I take Chris with me, as I'm sure he is desperate to confront Lucas and it would also help him with the guilt he is feeling?" she offers.

I consider that and nod, "Alright, I'm happy with that scenario you will wear a receiver so Raul can hear everything, he will wait for you outside, and you will follow his lead if he thinks you should let it go and leave you will do so immediately" I say.

Eva beams at me and nods, "alright" she agrees.

I watch as Eva reaches for my phone which is on the nightstand and scrolling through my contacts she calls my stepfather, as I watch her she puts the call on speaker so I can also hear.

"Hello Gideon are you alright?" he asks when he answers, he is obviously surprised at the unexpected call.

"Hi Chris it's Eva actually, but Gideon is fine and so am I," she says brightly and I smile unconsciously at her.

"Oh ok, hello Eva, what can I do for you?" he says.

I listen to Eva quickly outline everything, leaving out the part about Anne and my nightmares, concentrating only on the part which involves getting a confession out of Lucas. Chris listens without saying a word until she is done and as she predicted he is definitely up for the idea of accompanying her to see Lucas.

"Count me in," he says darkly when Eva has finished speaking.

"Thank you," Eva says.

"Not at all and if this works, it might also help Gideon with his relationship with his mother?" Chris suggests.

"I had also considered that possibility," Eva says looking at me hopefully.

I watch Eva as she thanks Chris and then hangs up, she has a hopeful glint in her eyes, and I can tell she is totally up for this and can't wait for it to happen.

"Ok then, Chris is on board and I'm more than ready to do this – so bring it on!" She says.

**oooOOOooo**

The rest of the day is blissful, and I really don't want to return to New York, unlike the last time we were here we have internet connection and phones, and I make sure we spend some time browsing the internet for furniture for our new home.

Eva is excited about this and I watch as she quickly plans and decides what she wants and where she wants it, I offer some suggestions on particular pieces I like, but for the most part I leave the decisions to her and by the time we leave on Sunday we have a large delivery expected for our little beach home.

I make the necessary arrangements with Raul for someone to be here to accept the delivery when it arrives and to ensure everything is as Eva wants it to be. I have a feeling we will be spending a lot of time here.

"Can I bring my dad here as I think he'd love it?" Eva asks me as we are locking up to leave.

I smile, "You can bring anyone you want here, your father, your mother, Cary," I say.

She hugs me tightly "thank you," she says.

I live for those smiles and hugs and nothing gives me greater pleasure than knowing I have made her happy.

"Are you going to tell your parents about the baby?" I ask as we walk to the waiting car.

She shakes her head, "No not yet, it's too soon, most couples don't say anything till after about 12 weeks as the risk of miscarriage is so high in the early days," she says.

I nod, I'm ok with that, "Cary knows" I state.

"I know, but he won't say anything" she says confidently, and I know she is right, Cary may be a royal pain in the ass and I believe Eva's life would be far easier if he wasn't in it, but he is loyal to her and won't divulge anything she tells him in confidence.

As we leave I see Eva looking longingly at the beach house, and for a moment I want to turn the car around and go back.

"We will come back whenever you want to, we can come back next weekend if you like, and then you can see all the new furniture in place and you can see if you want to change anything?" I say.

I watch her think about that and she smiles brightly and nods enthusiastically "I'd like that" she says.

It's a quick flight back to New York but Eva falls asleep as soon as we take off, I am concerned about this extreme tiredness but from what I have learnt from the Google searches I have done on pregnancy symptoms it appears to be quite normal.

Eva opens her eyes just as I stand to fasten her seatbelt around her, as we are coming to New York to land.

"Sorry I nodded off" she mutters rubbing her eyes.

I smile at her, sitting back down again, "Put your seatbelt on Angel we are coming in to land" I say, she complies and soon we are back on the ground.

"Gideon," she says and I look towards her, "I had a lovely weekend," she says and smiles at me

"So did I Angel" I reply.

**oooOOOooo**

**(EVA)**

I sigh and glance at my watch my stomach is growling. It is nearly 1 pm and I am surprised, I have powered through my morning and feel very accomplished, not only at the amount of work I have completed but also the personal tasks I have also managed to get done, I have organised an appointment with a gynaecologist at Gideon's insistence, I have talked to Chris about the plan to see Lucas and I managed to quite quickly get over this mornings bout of sickness which now seems to be a regular factor in my day.

Thankfully, I have discovered that I feel sick and when I actually manage to be sick the feeling passes quite quickly and I am ok then for the rest of the day. I am still quite tired, exhausted would be a more appropriate term and I am now sadly having a complete aversion to coffee which for me is not a good thing.

I stand and stretch, ready to go and get some lunch.

"How are you feeling Angel?" I turn in surprise at the familiar voice.

"Gideon, what are you doing here?" I ask as my gaze falls on my husband leaning casually against the corner of my cubicle.

"I have come to take my wife for lunch," he says.

As he moves, he makes the cubicle wall shake a little. He looks at it with distain and I know he is probably thinking once again about me working with him at Cross Industries, as he seems to be making a point of bringing up with increasing regularity and I have to say it is becoming something I am actually starting to consider.

"Excellent plan," I say and after grabbing my purse from my drawer I walk towards him, he puts his arm around me, placing his hand at the small of my back and leads me out of the office.

Megumi watches us leave and once we are outside I shake my head.

"What is it?" Gideon asks noticing my reaction.

"It's not very nice there anymore, there is an atmosphere, after what Megumi did, Will doesn't speak to her now and Mark has made it clear he wasn't happy with what she did," I say.

"Leave then, and come and work with me," he says with a shrug as we wait for the elevator, and I smile inwardly, and there it is, another little comment, casual but done to focus my mind on to that train of thought.

I bump my shoulder against his, "I'm actually starting to consider that" I admit.

I feel him stiffen at my words and look up at him to see the hope shining in his eyes.

"Look, don't get your hopes up, but I have thought about it ok, but you know that I want to progress on my own and have a career which is about me and what I am capable of, not what my surname is and who I am married to, but I also have to face the fact that is probably not going to happen now at Waters, Field and Leaman" I stop.

"Why?" Gideon asks, he looks genuinely surprised at that comment.

"Well since it became common knowledge that I am married... to you, I have noticed that I have been treated differently, Christine Field had no idea who I was, she barely recognised me at the gala until I spoke but now she greets me as if I'm an old friend, and also I have to consider that what career I do manage to build will come to an abrupt halt soon anyway" I say with a shrug.

"Why?" Gideon asks again.

"Because I'm pregnant," I say with the tone of voice that screams Durr! I stare at him incredulously that he is being so obtuse about this.

"That should make no difference," he says calmly with a dismissive shrug, "It wouldn't if you worked with me" he adds.

"And that is why I can't," I say.

"Why?" he asks again. I stare at him, that one word he keeps repeating is starting to irritate me.

"Because of what you just said, I will be getting preferential treatment because I am your pregnant wife," I say and I step away from him and into the empty elevator as the doors open.

Gideon sighs and stepping in behind me he plugs his key into the elevator and presses a button suspending it. The doors close giving us total privacy and he turns to face me.

"Angel, you have this all wrong, you would get exactly the same consideration as every other female employee I have, I make sure everyone who works for me who chooses to start a family but who also wants to continue working for me gets looked after, they get a full, comprehensive and very competitive maternity package, and unlimited use of the company daycare facility once their child is born," he says.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yes, really," he says, slightly exasperated at my reluctance.

I had no idea he offered all that and it makes me stop and think seriously for a moment.

"I do want to concentrate on starting my own foundation, and I know that would be easier if I worked with you" I say thinking out loud.

"Then do it" he replies as if it is the simplest thing in the world, I pause and think about that, am I making this more complicated than it actually is?

I bite my lip as I think about everything, "Can I think about it, I mean really think about it?" I say.

Gideon smiles, "of course you can," he says he pauses and then continues, "On a separate issue but related, I'm actually thinking of asking Mark Garrity if he wants a job at Cross Industries," he says.

I freeze, "what?" I ask.

"Not to force your hand," he adds quickly, "I was going to discuss this with you anyway as I have waited longer than I normally would in these circumstances, but now seems a good a time as any to bring it up as we are talking about employment issues, it is something I have thought about since I first met him, as he handled that first meeting well, he is bright and he would progress much quicker at Cross Industries than he would where he is, I could offer him significantly more than he gets now and I was going to ask you how you felt about it if I was to ask him" he says.

"Mark's good, you'd get a solid employee," I say stiffly.

He nods, "I already know that and that is why I want him at Cross Industries, but I need to know how you would feel if he accepted?" he says.

I shrug, "I don't know, if I'm honest he is all that's keeping there at the moment, I love working with him and we work really well together, he has taught me a lot and we bounce off each other well," I say.

"Do you think he would ask to bring you with him?" he asks.

I shrug, "I have no idea."

"If he did, would you do it?" he asks.

I look up at him and realise I would "Yes I probably would as I would be coming to the company with Mark as his assistant and not because of you," I say.

Gideon nods and I immediately know for sure he will try and make it happen.

"Are you going to approach him?" I ask.

He nods, "yes I am" he replies but doesn't say anything else and I realise what he has just done he has manoeuvred me without me realising it, I feel resentful all of a sudden and move away from him.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"You have just manipulated me into agreeing to come to work for you," I say.

He stares at me in shock, "I have not" he splutters.

I nod and quickly go through everything pointing it out to him.

His face drops as he sees what I am saying and he shakes his head adamantly.

"Angel that was not my intention, yes I want you to come and work at Cross Industries, I have made no secret of that fact, but I would never be so underhanded as to do something like that, we were discussing it and I felt that was the right time to bring up my proposal in line with me being more open and honest with you, I have been thinking about it for a long while, you know I was impressed with him, I made that very clear right from the start, I admit have held off longer than I normally would in cases like this, and that is because of you and how his departure from Waters Field and Leaman would affect you and your position there" he pauses and lets me process that.

I take all that in and he suddenly sighs and reaches for me, "Yes I admit I approached Waters Field and Leaman as an excuse to make contact with you, but he was competent, far more so than I first imagined and he would be an excellent fit for my company, and that is what I do, when I see talented people who I believe will be a good fit for Cross Industries, I approach them and try and hire them away from where they currently work, with a more competitive package than they currently have, I have always done it and will continue to do so, because I want the best people working for me. If that facilitates an acceptable reason for you to also join me – for that very same reason I might add, then it's a win, win situation all round as far as I can see," he stops and I can see I have upset him.

"But what if he doesn't ask you if he can bring me along with him?" I ask mildly.

He stares at me and doesn't say a word and I think he realises what I am getting at.

"You would manipulate him into making that request wouldn't you?" I say.

He continues to stare at me, "if you didn't want me to, then no I wouldn't" he says eventually, and I can see how hard that was for him, I'm sure he was thinking about doing just that but in that moment I realise how much he loves me that he wouldn't do it.

I try and read him but he is giving nothing away, "Really?" I ask.

"No, I wouldn't" he says, "I admit I considered the fact I could perhaps push Mark to ask to bring you, but I won't if you don't want me to, you have my word that I won't," he says firmly his blue eyes boring into me challenging me to disbelieve him.

"Alright, I'll believe that," I say carefully.

He nods his head and I know he is still hurt by my accusation and I'm certain he believes that I think he still will try something and he is determined to prove me wrong.

There is a slight atmosphere between us which lasts through lunch, and it is bothering me as I leave Gideon when we get back from lunch, he gives me a swift but insistent kiss as I leave him and I pause.

"Don't let me leave like this" I whisper to him and he grips me tightly.

"Believe me then," he says sharply, "I only ever have your best interests at heart but more than that I only want you to be happy, but I won't stop being who I am," he says fiercely

I melt at his words, "I know that" I say.

I touch his cheek and he closes his eyes and the next thing I realise he has pulled me close and is kissing me desperately. I return the kiss and the lingering resentment and doubt I didn't even know I was hanging on to leaves me in a rush.

I gasp as he lets me go, and he looks intently at me, and I know he has something he wants to say.

"I will ask him, as I want him at Cross Industries, but I won't force him to bring you, and I won't force you to come and work for me either" he says.

I nod and go to step away from him but he grabs me and holds on to me.

"Eva, I don't want you at Cross Industries because you are my wife, this is not a question of nepotism, I don't operate that way, if you weren't so damned smart and gifted I wouldn't be pushing for this as hard as I am doing, I want the best people working for me and with me, I think you fall into that category, that is the only reason why I want you at Cross Industries," he says.

I swallow hard at his words and nod, "ok, I'll bear that in mind," I say quietly.

Gideon nods and kisses me again, I pull away as the doors open and I step out of the elevator, I watch as the doors close and takes Gideon away.

**oooOOOooo**

I know as soon as Gideon has made the initial approach to Mark, as he comes to tell me.

"Eva can I have a private word with you?" he asks.

I nod and follow him into his office and he closes the door.

"Eva I need you to know something," he says nervously, "Please sit down" he adds gesturing to the seat in front of his desk.

I sit down and wait, "Eva, Gideon Cross just called me and asked me to meet with him at 5 o'clock this afternoon," he says.

I nod but don't say anything, and I wait for him to continue.

"I am concerned that he's not happy with the work we have done on Kingsman, what do you think?" he asks anxiously, and I am shocked he is even considering that scenario. I silently curse my husband for putting me in this situation.

I shake my head, "I have no idea, but don't think it has anything to do with that" I say.

"Then what could he possibly want?" he asks then his eyes brighten, "unless he has another account he wants to discuss?" he says.

I quickly change tack and decide to let him believe that, "He might have" I say evasively.

Mark nods his head, and then realisation dawns on his face at what he has done and he looks at me apologetically.

"Oh God Eva, I'm so sorry, I realise I've just put you in a very awkward position, just because Cross is your husband doesn't mean you know what his every business decision is, and I just made assumptions I shouldn't have, I'm so sorry about that," he says.

No, it's not you who did that but my husband I think as I smile at Mark.

"Look I have no idea why he would want to speak to you" I lie again, "but I do know he is very happy with the work you have done on the Kingsman account so I don't think you have anything to worry about there" I say.

"Ok," he says, "also I will correct you on that, I don't have anything to worry about on the work WE did" he adds with a smile.

**oooOOOooo**

I am just powering down my computer at the end of the day as Mark walks up to me, "Do you mind hanging on a while?" he asks.

I frown and then remember that Gideon wants to see him.

I hesitate as I really don't want to be drawn into this any more than I already am.

Mark looks at me apologetically, "Look I realise this is all kinds of weird and awkward and it was totally wrong of me to question you earlier the way I did, but if it is a new account I want you to be the first to know, and if there is a problem I also want you to be the first to know" he says.

As I know exactly what is going to happen, I nod and sit back down again, Mark smiles gratefully at me.

"Thanks, if I'm up there any longer than half an hour just go, and I'll talk to you in the morning," he says.

I think about that, I don't think Gideon will take long, he will see him say what he wants, give him the information and send him on his way, I estimate 15 minutes tops.

I don't put my computer back on but instead, check my phone, and call Cary.

"Hi Cary," I say when he answers.

"Hey baby girl, how did it go with Cross?" he asks.

I realise I haven't told him about what happened when I told Gideon about the baby.

"It went very well, he was completely shocked to begin with, but he was so sweet when the shock wore off, but he is pleased, that's the main thing," I say.

"Good, glad to hear it," Cary says.

I laugh and go through what happened on Friday evening with him and then I go on to tell him all about our weekend at the Outer Banks house.

"You'd love it there Cary," I say.

There is a silence, "Cary?" I say.

"I've made a decision," he says warily.

"Oh" I start to panic slightly at his tone of voice.

"I'm not taking the apartment, it's just too weird, plus Stanton and your mom said I could stay where I was and they would continue to pay for the place," he says.

"Oh ok," I say I feel slightly upset about that but I try and push it out of my mind, it is, after all, Cary's decision.

"But I turned them down," he says.

Ok, now that has thrown me, "Where are you going to live then?" I ask, panic rising significantly thinking that he is considering going back to San Diego.

There is another silence, and I hear him take a deep breath, "I'm moving in with Trey," he says and my heart leaps at that.

"Really? Oh Cary I'm so pleased for you" I gush.

"You are? Oh thank god, I was scared you would be upset" he says.

"Of course I'm pleased for you Cary, I love you, and to hear you are taking that step and letting someone else in, it's huge and I couldn't be happier for you," I say with total sincerity.

"I really think he's the one" Cary mutters.

"Good, then you grab him and don't let go," I say.

"I won't, but you will always be my best girl, you know that don't you?" he says earnestly.

"I know that Cary, you will always be my best friend forever," I reply.

We chat for a few moments longer and I am really happy for Cary, we are both moving on with our lives and leaving the shitty pasts behind us. I say goodbye to Cary and glance up to see Mark walking towards me I automatically glance at my watch - 15 minutes and I smile, I know my husband so well.

"Well?" I ask a little concerned at the shell-shocked expression, Mark glances around and then points to his office.

I follow him in and he closes the door.

"Cross has just offered me a job," he says.


	14. Chapter 14

**AUTHORS NOTE: A word of warning, the topic of Geoffrey Cross's suicide is discussed in this chapter.**

CHAPTER 14

"Congratulations," I say, smiling at Mark who looks more than a little dazed.

He sits down with a thud and begins to tell me what happened.

"He said he was happy with me and everything I did on the Kingsman campaign, he said he was also very impressed with the way I presented myself at the initial meeting we had, and that is what prompted him to make the offer, he said I had real potential and thinks I would be a good fit for Cross Industries, he's given me a rundown of what would be expected of me. I am sorely tempted Eva, the money would be twice what I am getting here and that means Steven and I could marry sooner than we had planned."

I nod and smile widely, "sounds like a no-brainer," I say.

He looks at me and bites his lip, "would you consider coming with me?" he asks.

I stare at him, "Did Gideon ask you to ask me that?" I say before I can stop myself.

He shakes his head, "No, not at all, I mentioned that if I moved on it would impact on you and I expected him to say to bring you with me, considering who you are but he didn't, I said to him that I work well with you and we bring out the best in each other, but he didn't seem to take my hints so in the end I just came out with it and I asked him if it would be possible for me to bring you with me."

I freeze "and what did he say?" I ask.

Mark shakes his head, "he was quite... I don't know... not off about it, but dismissive about it actually, he said my position would qualify me to have an assistant and if I wanted you to come with me as that assistant then that was up to me to organise once I was in place at Cross Industries, but I would be expected to follow the protocol in place for hiring, but I guess he didn't want to make it look like nepotism, because of who you are," he says.

I nod and love for my husband swells my heart, he listened, he wants me to apply and progress on my own merits.

"So what are you going to do?" I ask.

"I'm going home and talking it over with Steven, but if I do go, I do really want you to come with me, as long as you don't think it will be weird, you working in your husband's company?"

I think about that, "I'd still be working for you and answerable to you?" I say.

He nods.

"As long as you can forget the fact I am married to the boss and it doesn't affect our working relationship then I don't see any problem with that," I say.

Mark grins widely, "The Kingsman Account will come with us, Cross made that point clear, and that that was a deal breaker," he says.

I nod, understanding that under normal circumstances something like that would have been dealt with in-house and not farmed out to an outside agency, "that won't be popular" I mutter.

"Look it's all hypothetical at the moment, I need to discuss this with Steven," Mark says.

I snort, "yeah and he's really going to tell you to turn it down!" I say.

Mark grins, "You are probably right," he says.

He pauses, "You know all this makes me wonder, he specifically asked for me originally, do you think this was his plan all along, he had heard about me somehow and that is why he approached me specifically?"

I smile this has really boosted Marks confidence and I don't ever want him to discover the truth behind why Gideon originally did what he did.

I shrug, "I have no idea," I say hoping I sound sincere.

He smiles again, "Let's go home, I have a lot to think about tonight, I'd appreciate it if you keep what I've told you to yourself," he says.

I nod, "Naturally, I took that as read," I say and pick up my purse.

"Goodnight Eva," he says and I say goodnight as I leave his office.

I think about everything that Mark said, I can tell he wants this and I am pleased for him that Gideon did see potential in him as he deserves to do well because he is damn good at what he does.

I send a quick text to Gideon.

_**On my way home now, how long will you be?**_

The response is immediate, but doesn't answer my question.

_**Come up and see me before you go**_

I step into the elevator and head up to Cross Industries, I am buzzed in and then glared at by the red-headed receptionist and I decide I am going to confront this once and for all, I pause by her desk and she stares at me in surprise.

"What is your problem with me?" I ask her bluntly.

She flushes red and shakes her head, and I see fear appear in her eyes, and I realise she thinks I am going to get her fired.

"I have no idea what you mean" she stammers eventually.

I look at her in a 'give me a break' kind of way, "you give me a death glare every time you see me, your job is to be welcoming to visitors, yet I have never felt that from you, all I have ever felt is downright hostility" I say.

"I apologise Mrs Cross I never meant to make you feel that way" she says.

I take a good look at her, she is a young girl, I estimate she is in her early 20's, younger than me and it's obvious she has a huge crush on her boss and that made her act a little stupidly when she saw that Gideon was interested in me.

"Well I'm glad about that, perhaps we can start again afresh?" I offer.

I see the relief on her face and she gives me a genuine smile, "Yes certainly and I do apologise if I gave you the impression that you weren't welcome here" she gushes.

I hold up my hand, "forget it, it's over" I say and with that, I leave her and head to find my husband.

He is on the phone in his office, pacing around and talking as I approach, he looks up and smiles at me but continues to talk to whoever is speaking in his ear.

He reaches for the button on his desk and the office door opens, I don't break my stride and walk straight in, and it closes behind me, he presses another button and the door and walls immediately frost giving us privacy.

I wait until he has wrapped up his call and he throws his Bluetooth headset down.

"Come here Angel," he orders and I walk towards him and into his arms as he pulls me close he rests his hand protectively on my stomach and my heart lurches at the gesture.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

"Good" I reply, "I'm tired so I am going to give the gym a miss tonight and I think I'm going to call a halt to my Krav Maga classes for the duration," I say placing my hand over his.

"Did you arrange an appointment with the gynaecologist?" he asks.

I nod and rummage in my purse for my phone where I had stored the details of the appointment.

"Yes I did, the day after tomorrow was the earliest and it's the first appointment of the day," I say showing him my phone, he quickly calls up his schedule and does some juggling to accommodate the visit.

"There all sorted," he says and pushes his keyboard away.

"How long are you going to be?" I ask.

"I'm nearly done actually, but I called Dr Petersen about what we discussed at the beach house and he's agreed to see me tonight, so I will be heading there shortly," he says.

I nod and wrap my arms tightly around him, "Just take your time and tell it how you want to, you made a good start at our last appointment" I say.

"I know, it just feels like I'm preparing to jump off a huge precipice into the unknown by doing this," he says.

I nod, "I get that, it is the unknown, you have lived with this alone for so long, and nobody listened to you so you stopped talking, but people are listening now and believing you and so you are finding that you can start talking again, it will be hard and it will be painful but it will be worth it in the end" I say trying to offer as much encouragement as I can.

"I've been considering asking Chris if he will accompany me for a session or two?" he looks at me as if he is looking for my opinion on this and I nod enthusiastically at him.

"That can only be a good thing, it shows you are letting him in and it will help him sort through the issues he is having about this as well in a controlled space," I say.

I see him think about that and a small hopeful smile appears he pulls me close, "I need to be fixed because... I want to be the man of your dreams Angel," he says in a small voice.

That comment nearly destroys me I look up at him and cup his face, "You already are!" I say with total conviction.

**oooOOOooo**

**(GIDEON)**

'_You already are!_' Those words my wife spoke are still ringing in my ears as I ride to Dr Petersen's office, I have never been so apprehensive... no terrified of what I am about to do, but the thought of my wife and my unborn child spurs me on to do this, to face, confront and conquer my demons once and for all.

Angus glides to a halt outside and I don't move, I just stare out of the window, but I can feel Angus's eyes boring into me through the rear view mirror and when I can't ignore it anymore I look and our eyes meet, I see compassion in his and it is nearly my undoing.

Angus, this stoic man, he is a man who has never wavered in his total loyalty towards me. He has been the one constant in my life, and I love him, as I would a father, he has been more than a father to me over the years.

He started off as my driver when I was a child and he drove me to school, I was silent and withdrawn, I was a confused and frightened little boy, bewildered by the new life I had been thrust into, and grieving the loss of my father. I was getting bullied because of who my father was and what he had done, even though I had no idea at that point what that actually was.

My first memory of Angus was when my mother had waved her hand at Angus one morning and simply said 'this is the driver, he will take you to school now get in the car', I had done as I was told and Angus had climbed into the driver seat. He had turned and smiled at me.

"Good morning lad, I'm Angus and I'll be taking you to school today" he had said, I had simply nodded. Angus had proceeded to ask me my name and all the way to school he had coaxed me to respond to his gentle non-invasive chatter.

I had been quite sad when we had finally arrived and he had assured me that he would be waiting for me when school ended, and he was, he was not only waiting but he climbed out of the car and confronted a woman who had screamed at me because she had lost her money, I was frightened and when I saw Angus striding towards me the relief I felt was profound.

I know now that, that particular woman was one of the many victims of my father's crooked Ponzi scheme. Angus had taken me by the hand and informed the woman that she should be ashamed of herself intimidating an innocent child who was ignorant of his father's crimes. He had berated her and then gently led me away and told me if anything like that happened again I was to tell him immediately... and I always did.

Angus became my best friend as I grew up and he kept me sane as I got older and angrier. He never tolerated my tantrums but he was also the only person who could calm me down and talk me around. He also knew something bad had happened to me after Hugh had molested me, I had confided in Angus after Hugh had raped me and he had encouraged me to tell my mother, he had also been there to pick up the pieces when that had all gone horribly wrong. He had gone so far as to speak to my mother and try to make her see I was telling the truth but she had refused to believe him and threatened him that if he didn't stop he would be fired. That had terrified me more than anything, and I had pleaded with him to just drop it, I told him I needed him more than I needed my mother to believe me. It was from that point onwards he had become much more to me, he had become my confidant, he was my only family.

As I threw myself into college and then built my company, Angus was the first person I employed, I asked him to be my driver and it was soon after I discovered his previous career in the British secret service and I quickly made him my personal security. He has been with me through thick and thin, he tried to talk sense into me when I was pursuing my revenge against Lucas, he had tried to tell me that involving Anne was a mistake and I was better than that, but I didn't listen.

Angus McLeod watched me grow up and he watched me fall in love with Eva from the first moments. 'You'll be late for your meeting lad,' he had said with more than a hint of amusement when I had spotted Eva that day and abandoned all reason and gone back into the Crossfire after her.

"You cannee sit there all night lad."

I am drawn from my reminiscing by the remark and I smile.

"I'm just mentally preparing" I mutter. I look up at Angus and he smiles knowingly.

"Eva's pregnant," I blurt out and I see the surprise and then joy on his face, he beams at me.

"Why lad that's wonderful news, it'll be the making of you, you will be a wonderful father," he says.

I hope so, "It's very early days yet so we are not saying anything so..." I stop I don't need to tell Angus to keep it to himself, but he nods.

"Aye, it's best you don't go telling people yet, just in case, but I'm happy for the both of you," he says kindly.

"Thank you," I say and with that, I move to leave the car. A moment later, Angus has my door open and as I climb out he squeezes my arm.

"You are doing the right thing lad, it's time, way past time," he says and then pats my shoulder.

I nod and taking a deep breath I walk towards the good doctor's office.

I walk in and the receptionist is just pulling on her coat, she smiles at me and tells me that Dr Petersen is waiting for me and to go straight through. I thank her and walk towards the door, my footsteps feeling heavier the closer I get.

As I open the door, Dr Petersen looks up and stands walking towards me and offering me his hand in his usual friendly greeting.

"Good evening Gideon, I was surprised by your phone call today," he says.

I nod and sit as he gestures to the sofa. I take the usual spot I occupy and wait while he settles himself.

"I had something of an epiphany at the weekend" I begin.

"I see," Dr Petersen says.

I pause, "Eva has discovered she is pregnant, that isn't common knowledge yet," I say then feel stupid for saying it as anything I say here is confidential.

I see the surprise on his face, but I feel the need to continue.

"The realisation that I am going to be a father confirmed for me that I need to get my shit sorted out, to begin with, it's not safe for Eva to be around me at night and now she is pregnant that scares me even more, and when the child is here, the thought that they could innocently come and try and wake me and I could... well it doesn't bear thinking about" I say with a shudder at the thought.

Dr Petersen smiles sympathetically, "I think you are getting ahead of yourself a little, but I understand what you are saying, now this is a huge step for you and I want you to approach this however you want to, but most of all I need you to feel comfortable about talking about this with me, so I am going to follow your lead, alright?" he says.

I notice for the first time he is more casually dressed than with previous sessions, almost as if he realises that I am still uncomfortable with the whole therapy situation and he is trying to set me at ease.

I nod, and think about what he said, "I want to get it all out all in one go how it started and the first time he raped me and how my mother didn't believe me, I don't want to drag it out over weeks, I want to say it, get it out and get it over with" I say.

Dr Petersen smiles again, "I can understand that, but you realise that to work through these very traumatic periods we will have to discuss them at some length over a period of time for you to come to terms with them and let them go?"

I nod, "Yes I realise that, but I want to get the facts out there in one go, you have to realise I have never spoken about this in its entirety to anyone, Eva knows bits, Angus knows bits and my mother knows bits but not everything, this will be the first time I relive that period in its entirety" I say.

I watch as he taps on his tablet with the stylus then he pauses and looks at me, "so do you want to tell me from the beginning how the abuse started?" he asks.

I nod and clasp my hands together in front of me as I look down at them I see they are trembling, this isn't lost on Dr Petersen either.

"Take your time Gideon, take all the time you need," he says, and then much to my surprise, he stands up. "I know what we can do, let's take a walk," he says.

I am shocked and more than a little confused but I don't argue and without saying anything I fall into step alongside him. I am wondering why we are doing this, he opens his office door and we walk down the corridor, the building is now empty and silent.

"Can I ask why we are walking?" I ask after a moment's silence.

"The reason I am doing this Gideon, is to change the dynamic between us, I don't want you to feel threatened in any way or cornered and trapped, and having you sitting in my office in my space that automatically puts me at the advantage, walking around as we talk out here levels the playing field so to speak, puts us on an equal footing, gives you room to move and gives you space, I am certainly feeling out of my element by doing this" he says.

I immediately understand what he is getting at, I am about to disclose some pretty horrific things which I have kept to myself for years, and they involve the last time I was in therapy so he wants to remove any similarities, he wants me to be as comfortable as I possibly can be, and I have to admit, walking around is actually calming me and as we walk I find myself opening up and beginning to talk.

"I need to do this, I need to get all this poison out, I need to be rid of it I am 29 fucking years old and I have carried this around with me for so many years and I don't want it anymore, I know we have talked about it briefly but as its all linked I think I should begin when my father... when he killed himself as there are things I haven't previously told you" I pause and Dr Petersen nods in agreement.

"However, you want to tell me," he says.

I take a deep breath and my mind goes back to that time in my life.

"I was five years old... he was my dad, he was my hero, he taught me to ride my bike, he taught me to write my name, I loved him, we had days out and holidays and he spent some time with me but I do remember there was a lot of times he wasn't there, he always seemed to have places to go and people to see and business to discuss or deals to make, he was a popular man, a very popular man, everyone seemed to love him, but then again he was making people rich and what's not to like about that, but then everything seemed to change, it happened suddenly almost overnight, one evening some men came to talk to my dad, and they left and he went with them, he didn't come back until the next day and when he did come back everything was different, it was immediate, he was different, he seemed scared, and he and mom argued and mom cried, she cried a lot, he wasn't the same, nothing was the same, I just wanted things to go back as they were, I didn't understand, and nobody said anything, I found my mom crying and asked her what the matter was she said that my father had ruined everything and now we all had to pay, she sounded angry and I didn't understand what that meant and nobody bothered to explain things to me, I had no idea what was happening but I knew whatever it was wasn't good".

"How did that make you feel?" Dr Petersen asks.

I shrug, "I was scared, it felt all wrong everything was different it wasn't the happy home I knew, before those men came that night my mom was happy and laughed and then suddenly she wasn't anymore. The arguing was horrendous, every night they would start and go on for hours I could hear them screaming at each other it was horrible I just wanted it to stop.

I shiver as the memory of sitting in my room with my hands over my ears to shut out the arguing and my mom's crying and praying that everything would be ok again fills my head.

"Then about a week after those men came, things were still as bad, the crying, the arguing I couldn't stand it I spent a lot of time outside out of the way of it so I didn't have to hear it, this particular day I was outside playing in the yard, because my dad was at home all the time by this point, I should have been happy to have him around all the time, but with the constant rows between him and my mother, I started to think that I wanted him just to go back to work, then I started to wonder if it was my fault because in my head I started to think that maybe it was something I had done that was causing the arguments, as I'd heard my mother mention me a few times as she screamed at my dad so I thought that it was my fault, obviously I realise now what was really happening, but at five years old with nobody explaining to me what was going I made up my own reasons as to why everything had gone to shit".

I pause and stop walking and Dr Petersen also stops.

"Take your time," he says encouraging me.

"I was out playing in the backyard and my dad came out, he appeared and he watched me for a while, he didn't say a word, he just watched me, then he walked past me and went to go to the garage, I thought he was going out in the car and I ran after him to go with him and he stopped me and told me to go inside he told me not to come into the garage. He made me promise and I nodded. He smiled at me and told me he loved me and to be a good boy for mom, I nodded and watched him walk away, and disappear into the garage that was the last thing he said to me" I stop, staring into the past memories as I see that day clearly in my head.

"I went back to what I was doing I was playing with my things when I heard this bang come from the garage, I knew it was a gun and I ran inside to mom and told her I'd heard a gun go off in the garage and that dad was in there, I was scared, I didn't know what had happened, I couldn't comprehend what could possibly have happened for a gun to go off inside the garage. My mom went back inside I didn't know why, I realise now she was calling the police. I was impatient and needed my mom to go and find out what had happened in the garage, I forgot my promise and decided to go and look for myself, I realise now why he had got me to promise not to go in there and I wish I had kept that promise, I opened the door and my dad was there, on the ground with his face blown off, there was blood everywhere, I just stood and stared and I screamed, I remember screaming for my mother and she came, she picked me up and pulled me away. I had nightmares for months afterwards I kept seeing my father's dead body in my dreams."

I stop and bend over placing my hands on my thighs as the visual of my dead father and the events of that time invade my mind.

"Do you need to stop Gideon?" Dr Petersen asks, I stand up straight and shake my head.

"No," I say and we start walking again.

"You have mentioned some of this before, for example, your father's last words, but you have never told me that you were the one to find the body, which is very significant," he says.

I nod, "It's not something I like to relive, as it was that moment that changed my life completely. But I felt safe discussing his last words with you, as they are what form the basis of the dreams I have now about that time, that final conversation we had plays over in my dream and then in my dream he pulls a gun out and shoots himself in front of me, even though that part didn't actually happen and then he is gone, leaving me alone, that is the general pattern of them sometimes with other additions but that is the constant theme."

"Are the dreams you have now the same as the ones you suffered as a child after your father's suicide?" Dr Petersen asks.

I shake my head again, "No, back then it was pretty much a re-enactment of those moments when I walked into the garage and saw his body, like a videotape playing on a loop in my head," I say.

"And when did those fade and disappear, or did they ever fade and disappear?" Dr Petersen asks.

I snort, "They seemed to stop, more or less, when I had a better nightmare to replace them with," I say bitterly.

"The nightmare of what Hugh did to me" I add. I look around, "Can we go back to your office now?" I ask, and Dr Petersen agrees and immediately we make our way back to his office.

"Would you like a drink?" Dr Petersen asks, as he looks at me carefully.

"Water please," I say and he leaves and returns with a bottle of water and hands it to me.

"Thank you," I say, as he hands it to me.

"Do you need a glass?" he asks and I shake my head, opening the bottle and taking a long gulp of the cold water.

I place the bottle on the table in front of me and stare at it as I prepare to tell him the next part.

"Did your mother talk to you about your father's death, try and explain things to you?" Dr Petersen asks gently.

I shake my head, "No not really, she ranted about him more than talked, I learnt very quickly not to mention my father as whenever I did it would set her off, and she would end up in a complete mess, crying and screaming, and as a small child I had no idea how to handle that, she said he was a selfish coward and he didn't want to be held accountable for his actions, she was a mess, the house we lived in was sold after his suicide, so everything that was familiar to me was gone, I was scared, I became really clingy with my mother I didn't want to let her out of my sight, but she didn't like that, she said it was annoying, and she told me to stop being so silly, to stop being such a baby, she pushed me away a lot."

I stop and take another drink of my water.

"She took up with Chris Vidal pretty quickly, I think she was desperate she wanted some stability back in her life, but for me it was like my dad had been replaced, then she started to build a new family, she had her new husband – so she had replaced dad and then Christopher came along pretty quickly and I felt I was being replaced too. She had totally rebooted her life she had wiped away my father and everything involving him, including me, because that's how it felt, she had this new home, new husband and new son, and I just didn't fit in there, I was being bullied at school, kids whose families had lost everything through my father used to set on me, even the parents would have a go at me at times, I felt that I was alone, totally alone".

"Didn't you tell your mother how you felt?" Dr Petersen asks.

I shake my head, "Good god no, at first I didn't want to risk setting her off again, then I saw Chris seemed to make her happy so I didn't want to rock the boat, so I just didn't say anything, but as time went on, especially after Christopher was born, the resentment that I felt and feelings of not belonging and being pushed out grew and I started acting up, I'd have these huge tantrums I'd throw things and smash things up, god I was out of control, I felt so angry all the time." I shake my head remembering that point in my life.

"Eventually, my tantrums started rubbing off on Christopher, when he got older he started copying me, pitching fits and throwing things and it was at this point Chris and my mother decided to put me into therapy, I was about 12 years old, no maybe a bit younger when the subject of therapy was broached, mom was pregnant with Ireland at the time so I was probably about 10/11ish when therapy was first brought up, I was all for it, I wanted to feel normal, I hated feeling so out of control and angry all the time, I wanted to do it."

I stop and let out a humourless laugh, "little did I know what I was letting myself in for" I say.

I take another long drink of the water and stare at the bottle in my hand, I look up at Dr Petersen.

"I'd like to take a moment" I say and he nods.

"Take what you need," he says and I stand and leave the room.

I know exactly what I want, no, what I need at this moment, I need my wife, I need her here with me, she will understand better than anyone what I am about to talk about, and she has virtually begged me to share with her. I pull my phone from my pocket and call her. She answers quickly and I feel myself calm as I hear her voice.

"Angel" I whisper.

"Gideon? What's wrong? How are you?" she asks, her voice is full of concern and I can tell she is on full alert.

"I need you, I need you Angel," I say in a rush.

"Gideon, where are you?" she asks, worry and panic filling her voice.

"At Dr Petersen's, I've been telling him stuff, stuff about the time my dad committed suicide and now we are getting to the point of talking about the... abuse and I need you, I can't do this alone Angel, I need you, please," I say.

"I'll be right there, I'm leaving now," she says immediately and I can hear her moving and a door bang.

She hangs up and I call Raul to bring her to me, and then after taking a deep breath, I re-enter the office.

"Sorry about that," I say quietly.

"No problem, are you ready to continue?" Dr Petersen asks gently.

I shake my head, "I have just called Eva, I want her with me when I tell you the next part, I need her" I say.

"That's absolutely fine," he says, and we wait for Eva to arrive.

"While we are waiting for Eva to arrive, perhaps we could discuss what you have already disclosed?" he looks at me carefully and I nod in agreement.

"You say you felt totally alone, did you have anyone at all you felt you could turn to, if you needed to?" Dr Petersen asks.

I smile, "Angus," I say with warm affection.

"You mentioned Angus briefly when we started, who is he?" Dr Petersen asks.

"Angus is my rock, my confidant, best friend... he was everything to me growing up, and aside from Eva he is the only other person who I know without any doubt whatsoever that I can totally depend on, he has known me since I was a small child, he was the closest thing I had to a father growing up, and when I got old enough and was in a position to do so, I hired him away from Chris, he also handles my security and he has been my personal protection for many years, he was the only person who went with us when we eloped to the Caribbean and he witnessed my marriage to Eva, when we have our vow renewal in December, so our friends and family can celebrate with us, he will stand as my best man, Angus is very important to me," I say.

"So, you could say that aside from Eva, he is the person who you would turn to in a crisis?" Dr Petersen asks.

I nod, "Absolutely," I say.

"When did he come into your life?" he asks.

"When my mother married Chris, he was introduced to me one day as 'the driver' who would ferry me about, he would deliver me to school and bring me home, but very quickly he became much more than that, he became my friend, I learnt that I could talk to him, tell him about the bullying which was happening to me, other kids would bully me because of my dad and what he did, I even had parents coming up to me and having a go at me, Angus tried to shield me, protect me and he stood up for me on more than one occasion, I learnt that whatever I told him wouldn't be tattled back to my mother, he even risked his job for me, after... Hugh" I say, I take another drink.

"Angus always made things make sense, the only thing he ever got wrong was when he told me that I should tell my mom about the abuse, he said she would believe me... but he was wrong," I add.

We look up as there is a knock on the door, "come in" Dr Petersen calls and the door slowly opens, and I see my wife, my heart lurches and I feel calm and relief surge through me, it's amazing what her mere presence does for my piece of mind.

"Angel" I whisper, and in a moment I am on my feet, and next to her pulling her close to me, and holding her tightly, too tightly.

She greets Dr Petersen warmly and then looks up at me with concern, she reaches for me and caresses my cheek with her hand.

"Are you ok?" she asks.

What would I do without her? I wouldn't survive if she wasn't with me. I remember how I told her once that keeping her with me was self-preservation, that has never been truer than at this moment, I can't do this, I can't relive that time without her by my side to give me the strength I need to talk about it, I didn't realise how hard this was going to be, I am feeling drained by this whole experience, but just having her beside me gives me the strength to carry on, to see this through, I'm doing this for her and for our future, my hand instinctively moves to her stomach and she glances at Dr Petersen before looking up at me.

"I told Dr Petersen about the baby," I say and Eva nods.

She knows I would probably do that as part of the explanation as to why I am doing what I am doing. "Angus knows as well, I told him," I add.

She smiles at me, "That's ok, after all, Cary knows," she says.

I lead her to the sofa and we both sit down, I am gripping her hand tightly, and Dr Petersen quickly brings her up to speed with what we have discussed.

"Gideon and I have been discussing his early years, and I have learnt quite a bit from that, he has disclosed much more than what he had previously told me about that time, but he felt he needed you here as support before he continued."

Eva nods, and looks at me, "I'm here, and I'll always be here, I love you" she says.

I feel a rush of warmth and love through me as she says that and I inhale deeply at those words and how they affect me. I'm certain she has no idea what she does to me when she says things like that.

"Are you ready to continue Gideon?" Dr Petersen asks gently.

I nod and I close my eyes and start to talk.

"As I said earlier I was very positive when the subject of therapy was broached, I hated feeling so out of control, so angry all the time, a therapist was engaged, she came to the house, so I would feel safe, she was nice, I remember her she had kind eyes, she was older mid-late 40's, very quietly spoken, gentle, I liked her. But him..."

I stop and swallow and I shiver at the memory of Hugh.

"He was a doctoral candidate who was assisting her," I stop.

"What do you remember about him, your initial impression of him?" Dr Petersen asks.

"His red hair, that was the first thing I noticed, and his eyes, they were sharp and beady, cunning like a fox, he made me nervous, I didn't understand why but I wasn't sure about him and I think the therapist noticed that too. But the therapy was working, I improved, my anger receded and I learnt control, I was making progress, then a couple of months or so into it, as we got on to the topic of my father and his suicide, that is when it all started to fall apart, it took a lot for the therapist to get me to open up about my father, because of the reaction I had always received from my mother when I mentioned him, and to begin with my mother was present at my sessions and as soon as my dad was brought up she started getting upset and she started losing it as she always had, she didn't want me talking about my dad". I stop and shake my head.

I look at Eva and I see the fury in her eyes, she isn't holding my hand anymore she is rubbing her hands together as though she is trying to calm herself, my protective wife, the tigress angry on my behalf once again for what had happened to me.

"As time went on, the therapist spent more time with my mother, calming her down and getting her to open up and talk than she did with me, once more I was being pushed out."

I stop, wondering where that came from, and then I look up at Dr Petersen, it all suddenly seems so clear.

"My mother, she was the catalyst, if she hadn't kicked off during the sessions and just let me talk about my father, I would never have been left alone with him," I say bitterly.

Dr Petersen pauses, "You have to remember that your mother was dealing with a lot of unresolved issues of her own," he says diplomatically.

I shake my head, anger rising suddenly I feel my hand clench into fists and I thump my fists into my lap, "No, that therapy was my time, it was mine, it was my time and she stole it from me, she stole my therapist leaving me alone with him giving him the opportunity he needed to molest me."

Eva reaches for me and grips my fisted hands and they slowly unclench and she slips her hand once more into mine, but it's all falling into place, a huge light bulb has come on and I can see things clearly for the first time in my life.

"That is why she refuses to believe anything happened to me, that is why she took the word of the doctor above mine, why she hung on to his bogus diagnosis despite everything I told her, that is why she remains so obtuse about the abuse, she knows that if she had just held it together and let me have my therapy, let me talk about my dad the way I wanted to and not had meltdown after meltdown, trying to prevent me from talking about that time, resulting in the therapist having to leave me alone with him, the abuse wouldn't have happened, she knows, and her guilt is making her wilfully deny anything happened, because she knows it was all down to her that it happened in the first place, she tries to deny it happened, that is what she has always been like, my father shamed us so she airbrushed him out of her life, she pretended he never existed, but I was a constant reminder to her that he did!"

I get up and start pacing furiously, my hand's clench and after a moment Eva stands and gently wraps her small hand around one of my clenched fists.

"Gideon" she whispers and I look at her, I see the compassion in her eyes and it immediately calms me.

I stop pacing and start to speak again, "So she did a complete reboot of her life, she married Chris she had Christopher and Ireland, she pretended her previous life had never happened, but I couldn't be erased, I was there, the reminder to her that her previous life did happen, and when she tried to stop me from talking about that life she had so carefully erased, that resulted in me getting abused and that made her react the way she always did she tried to pretend it didn't happen, she denied it and erased it from her life just like everything else, I left home and we became estranged so she eventually succeeded in erasing me too".

I sit down with a thud and pull Eva closer, and I point to my wife, "and that is why she hates it because Eva is pushing me to talk, why she is saying Eva is re-writing my past, why she dislikes Eva so much, because she knows that Eva is getting me to realise what actually did happen, that is why she was so pissed when Eva confronted her about it, because she confronted her with something which she had pushed aside and pretended hadn't happened, and Eva was forcing her to admit it had and that I wasn't to blame for any of it, she was forcing her to accept that I wasn't lying, I was raped, I was fucking raped."

I stop and burst into tears and Eva's reaction is immediate she pulls me into her arms and just holds me, rocking me, stroking her hand up and down my back in gentle unhurried movements, she doesn't say a word, she lets me just cry.


	15. Chapter 15

**AUTHORS NOTE: Just a quick word of warning, the subject of the sexual abuse and rape Gideon suffered is discussed in this chapter.**

CHAPTER 15

"Do you want to leave it there?" Dr Petersen asks after a few moments.

I raise my head from Eva's shoulder and I glance at my watch, we have been in here nearly two hours, but I don't feel as though I am anywhere near done, but I realise this poor man probably just wants to go home.

"Can I continue? I realise we have gone way over already, but I'll pay whatever you want, now that I have started, I just need to keep talking, I feel everything is suddenly making so much sense, and I need to keep talking to get all this poison out," I say.

Dr Petersen smiles, "if you want to continue Gideon, then be my guest and carry on, you are my last appointment and I have all night, and I am actually delighted that you finally feel comfortable enough to open up as you are doing, but I just noticed how distressed you became and I needed to make sure you were ok to do so," he says.

I nod and turn to Eva, "You'll stay with me won't you?" I ask.

"Always," she says.

I take a deep breath, this is it, this what happened, a small but insistent voice in head is telling me to stop, not to do this, to shut my mouth and not to say anything, that he won't believe me, that it will make things worse, I hesitate as I listen to it but then I look at Eva, Eva is here and she believes me, if Dr Petersen doesn't, she will make him believe me, she will fight for me like she always does and she will make him believe me. That thought silences the voice, and gives me the confidence to continue to speak.

"As I have said, my therapist started to spend more and more time with my mother and I was left alone with Hugh to continue the sessions. The first few times I was left, nothing untoward happened, he just continued with the questions that the therapist gave him and made notes on what I said.

Then a while down the line things changed, he started sitting closer to me, touching my arm, giving me little hugs, nothing sinister, but then one day we were talking about my anger and he asked me how old I was, I told him I was nearly 12 and he smiled he said that I was starting puberty, he asked me if I knew what puberty was and I told him yes and that we had talked about it at school. He said that puberty had an effect on a person and their hormones making their emotions do strange things and that it was perfectly normal, and then he said there were things I could do to help myself," I stop and reach for the water.

Eva immediately grabs it and pushes it into my hand.

"Thank you," I say, looking at her.

"He asked me if I knew what masturbation was, I said yes and he said I should perhaps start to masturbate to relieve the stress and he said that would help reduce the anger. I agreed and he asked me if I knew how to do it, I said I had some idea but had never done it before, so he said he could give me some pointers but I needed to show him how I thought it was done".

Eva makes a noise of disgust and grips my hand. I look at her gauging her reaction, and she squeezes my hand.

"Sorry baby, go on," she whispers.

"I didn't feel comfortable, something told me this wasn't right, but he encouraged me so eventually I took my dick out and started rubbing it, and he said I was doing it all wrong, that I would never get the release I needed the way I was doing it, he offered to show me, I wasn't sure, but I agreed... I let him touch me, I let him, I opened the door for him and he walked through it."

I stop the shame of it consuming me.

"No Gideon, you were a child and he was grooming you, he was manipulating you, you didn't know any better, but he did, he made you believe it was ok because you were a child, it was not your fault," Eva says with total conviction.

"She is absolutely right Gideon," Dr Petersen says and he leans forward, "That is classic abuser behaviour, starting out slowly and gaining the victims trust, making them believe that what is happening is ok and perfectly normal, you have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about, you did nothing wrong."

I continue to talk, explaining and detailing how things escalated after that first time, how he insisted on every visit that we should continue with this '_therapy'_, and how it eventually got to the point where he wouldn't stop till I came so he could say I enjoyed it, I describe the amalgam of horrific memories I have of that time, and as I do so something hits me, my head spins to face Eva, as a memory that I have, makes something else drop into place.

"He used to bring these magazines for me to look at, men's magazines, full of naked women, he told me to look at them and imagine myself fucking the women in them."

I look at Eva, who is looking confused as to where I am going with this.

"The type thing," I whisper to her, and I watch as realisation dawns and she stares at me in shock.

"Those magazines, the women in them I remember them clearly, they were always tall, thin and brunette," I stop and I see the complete unadulterated shock on Eva's face.

"Like the women, you were always photographed with... like Corinne" Eva whispers.

I know she is remembering that conversation we had when I told her that Corinne was surprised that she didn't look like her, but now I realise she wasn't the benchmark for the women I associated with, it was those damn pictures, tall, willowy and brunette, just like Corinne, and just like every other woman I went for before Eva – apart from Anne of course, but that was a different matter entirely.

I can feel it all falling into place, I was conditioned to believe from an early age that those were the sorts of women to fuck, those women were who I associated with sex and that is what I did, my subconscious was conditioned to believe that, but when I met Eva and I wanted her, despite the fact she was nothing like the stereotypical norm, because she called to me on a deeper level.

I reach for her as I am filled with the need to make her understand that, I need to tell her that.

"You are different Angel, I see it now, you called to me on a deeper level, and you were nothing like the other women. Before I even spoke to you, I was inexorably drawn to you, it was almost as if I knew that you are my soul mate," I whisper.

Eva smiles, but something else has occurred to me.

"The women I used to fuck, they were _all _sexual predators, they all wanted to be dominant in bed, I always had to fight to gain the upper hand, and I always did it, I think is significant, I think subconsciously I was gaining the upper hand and taking back control from Hugh, don't you think?" I stop and look towards Dr Petersen.

Dr Petersen puts his stylus down, "I think it is certainly all linked, and yes, there is some merit in what you are saying," he glances at Eva, "I think we need to explore that in further detail and discuss what you believe it all means at a later date," he says.

I nod, and continue with my story, "things escalated, and soon he wasn't satisfied with what he was doing, and he would start touching me in other places, he pushed his finger in my ass and touched me somehow, so I had no choice but to come."

I shake my head, "I hated it, but I still came and he said I loved it because I had come, I tried to fight it to prove I didn't like it, but I couldn't, I just couldn't."

"Gideon, from what you are describing he was massaging your prostate gland, that along with the other actions you have described, your body would have no choice but to respond to it and he knew that," Dr Petersen says.

"I told you something like that," Eva says quietly.

I nod again, "Then one day... I tried to stop him, I tried so hard, I fought against him but he was so much bigger than me and he got angry, he said it was obvious that I wasn't responding to the treatment, and he said I needed something more than what he was giving me, he said I needed something more... he grabbed me and bent me over and he held me down and he..."

I realise I am shaking profusely as I recall that first time, the first time he violated me with his cock.

I close my eyes, as I remember the pain, "It hurt, it hurt so bad, it felt like I was ripping in half, I screamed and he clamped his hand over my mouth and told me to keep quiet, he said I needed to stay quiet, or everyone would hear how much I was enjoying it, but it hurt, it hurt so damn much, I sort of shut down and pretended I wasn't there, I heard him tell me that I was enjoying it but I wasn't, he reached around and as he was... he also... and he wouldn't stop till he made me come and then he came, inside me, that is all I remember the searing pain and then that wet warmth I... I…"

I stop unable to continue, as the memories bombard me. I stand up the bile rising in my throat and I clamp my hand over my mouth.

"The bathroom is the first door on the right at the end of the corridor," Dr Petersen says standing swiftly realising what is happening.

I quickly leave and find the bathroom and vomit profusely into the toilet, when I am done I clean myself up and as I open the bathroom door I see Eva rushing towards me and she wraps her arms around me.

"Here this will help till we get home and you can brush your teeth" she says, and she pushes some minty gum into my hand. I take it gratefully and push it into my mouth.

"Thank you" I whisper and we head back to Dr Petersen's office and I retake my seat.

"Are you alright to continue, or do you want to stop?" Dr Petersen asks the concern is clear in his voice and by the expression on his face.

That throws me for a moment and I realise I have been talking, telling everything and I am being believed unconditionally.

I look uncertainly at him, I need to make sure I have this right, "You believe me?" I ask carefully.

I feel Eva move closer and wrap her arms around me, and I realise she is waiting for me to lose it, if he tells me that he does.

Dr Petersen smiles at me, "Yes Gideon I believe you," he says simply and those words hit me with the force of a freight train.

I suck in such a sharp breath I go light headed for a moment and I reach blindly for Eva.

"It's ok, I'm right here, you are safe," she coos

He believes me, and that knowledge gives me the strength to continue. I nod and chew the gum the minty flavour filling my mouth and overpowering the lingering unpleasant taste of vomit.

"Can I carry on?" I ask.

Dr Petersen smiles again "Of course you can" he says.

I take another deep breath and focussing on Eva's touch I continue, "After that, I dreaded the therapy sessions coming around, he was practically panting when he arrived he was so aroused, so desperate, gagging for it."

I stop, the tears falling once more. I break down again as the memories bombard me and I cling on to Eva as she soothes me, she tells me it wasn't my fault, she tells me she believes me and that I wasn't to blame, and I feel a strange warmth consume me, as it always does when she tells me that she believes me, it's as though her words – her belief is starting to heal me, I am believed, she believes this happened to me and it encourages me to continue to talk.

"After a while, the lady therapist suggested bringing Christopher into the sessions as he had been affected by my tantrums, and was getting as out of control as I was, I said no because I didn't want Hugh to hurt him, but Hugh and my mother didn't listen and he started to join us, but Hugh didn't really see Christopher alone, I think there were a couple of occasions where he saw Christopher alone, but it was always after he had seen me and I don't think he had anything left in him for Christopher, but I always hung around and tried to listen, just to make sure, but I never heard anything and Christopher always looked alright when he came out," I say.

"Do you think Christopher ever heard anything that happened to you?" Dr Petersen asks.

I snort derisively, "He heard, I heard him outside the door and I screamed out for help but he didn't do anything, he went as far as telling our mother nothing had happened when she asked him if he had seen or heard anything," I say bitterly.

"How long did the abuse continue before you said anything?" Dr Petersen asks.

I think about that, but I honestly don't know the answer, it felt like a lifetime though.

"A while, I can't say how long exactly as I don't know, but I eventually got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore and so I confided in Angus, I told him how he hurt me and how I always bled afterwards, and how it hurt to sit down, he was horrified, he told me I had to tell my mother and that she would believe me and put a stop to it, and that is all I wanted, so I did. She took me to see a paediatrician but as he went to examine me I freaked out, he said that he was unable to get any physical evidence, but from my reaction, he believed something had taken place." I pause as Eva interrupts me.

"Wait, so you went to see another paediatrician, so Dr Lucas was a second opinion?" she says.

"Yes, why?" I ask, wondering why Eva has latched on to this, as at this moment her eyes are shining as if she thinks that this is the best thing I have ever said.

"That is significant Gideon, really significant, in fact I would go as far as saying that makes all the difference in the world" she says.

I'm not sure why this is important, but Eva seems to think it is, I dismiss that for a moment and continue to speak.

"I remember my mother asked for another paediatrician's name and Dr Lucas was mentioned, so my mother took me to see him, I remember that she told him everything, she told him the name of the suspected abuser, and that we needed physical proof, which now obviously was totally the wrong thing to do, as it warned him and set in motion his response, he sedated me, I remember that, and then he examined me, I felt like once more I was being violated but I believed that once we got the proof everything would stop, I would go back to seeing the nice lady therapist and the abuse would stop. But it didn't work out like that because Dr Lucas lied, he told my mother nothing had happened, and that there was no physical evidence of abuse and then Christopher had backed that up by saying he had heard nothing."

I pause and shake my head.

"I wondered for years why a doctor who was supposed to care about kids would do something like that, and I made it my business to find out and when I discovered the truth about who he was and who he was to Hugh I was filled with the need for revenge, which then led on to the events which I spoke of previously."

I stop speaking, and I realise that's it, that's everything, I've done it I've told everything, I lean back and close my eyes a moment, I feel totally wiped out, I have never purged myself like this before and spoken in such detail of everything and yet I feel oddly lighter, as if a great weight I had been dragging around with me has now been removed.

"Are you alright Gideon?" Dr Petersen asks me carefully.

I open my eyes, "I think so, I feel lighter now, I feel totally drained after talking about all that, but I do definitely feel lighter as if I have been unchained from a weight which I was dragging around with me" I say.

Dr Petersen nods, "I think we will leave it there for tonight, you have done exceedingly well, I never expected you to disclose as much as you have done and now that you have we can concentrate in detail, aspects which you have raised and help you to come to terms with them and we can start that process tomorrow when you come and see me for your usual Tuesday session" he says.

I nod, "Alright, that sounds good" I say. I stand up and my legs feel a little shaky, I am still gripping Eva's hand tightly, I hadn't let her go, I pull her close and press a kiss to her head.

"Thank you for being here Angel," I say and she simply wraps her arms around me and holds me.

**oooOOOooo**

**(EVA)**

The next day I am on a mission, after hearing Gideon bear his soul last night, I now feel more than ever that I have to play my part so that he can gain the closure he so desperately needs to be healed and I believe that part of that closure rests with him getting suitable and permanent revenge on Dr Lucas for his part in this whole situation and that is something I can try my damnedest to help with.

If I can somehow get him to admit he lied that would not only give Gideon the evidence that the abuse happened to use against Lucas but to hear Lucas admit his role in that abuse would offer Gideon a level of closure which he has never received.

I believe the new information Gideon disclosed last night could be the key, Dr Lucas was a second opinion, if I can rattle him enough to think another Paediatrician examined Gideon and his diagnosis was totally different from his, well that might be enough to crack him into making a mistake and getting the confession I need.

It would also provide the proof to his mother that her consistent denial of the truth has been wrong on so many levels and that would also give Gideon further closure especially considering the realisations he came to last night regarding the reasons he believes are behind his mother's continual denial and total obtuseness to everything that happened.

I question again why Christopher had lied, but I just can't think why he would do that, but then again he was a very young child and he was consumed with sibling rivalry, I decide that he just had no idea of the ramifications of his denial.

I continue dissecting everything and I also believe that if I can get Lucas to confess it would also pave the way for dealing with the other related issue to this whole mess, Anne Lucas and Gideon's guilt surrounding the way he treated her. If I can just get that confession I totally believe it will help immeasurably with Gideon's healing process.

I am alone in the break room at work going over all this in my mind and I decide to call Chris, the phone rings and rings and eventually he answers.

"Hello," he says warily.

"Chris it's Eva," I say.

"Oh Eva hello, sorry I didn't recognise the number, how are you, how's Gideon?" he asks.

I reassure him we are both fine and quickly launch into my reason for calling and describe the quite frankly disturbing revelations Gideon made last night, I tell him everything and there is a silence when I stop.

"Jesus" Chris whispers eventually.

"So, I want to do this, because it's the only way I can help him get the closure he is working so hard to gain," I say.

"I am totally on board with that, did you know Gideon has asked me to accompany him to some of his therapy sessions?" he says.

I am surprised at that but also pleased he is letting Chris in.

"No, I didn't, but I'm happy to hear that," I say.

"I agreed as I need to know, I need to know what that boy faced without any parental support, I need to know," he says his voice cracking.

"Chris, if you help me get a confession from Lucas that will help more than you will ever realise," I say firmly, trying desperately to pull him back out of the pit of guilt he has just plunged into.

"You're right, I can't do anything about what has already happened, but what I can do is get Gideon the closure and help he needs to heal him of the injustices he suffered as a child," he says fiercely and I smile.

I look up and see Mark has come into the break room, so I return my attention back to Chris, "Look my break is over and I need to get back to work, I'll call you to arrange a time for that visit" I say.

Chris immediately catches on that someone is now around and I can no longer talk freely from the change in my tone, and he says his goodbyes. I push my phone away and smile at Mark.

"I'm just coming," I say and pick up my mug which now contains tea rather than my usual coffee.

"Eva, I wanted you to be the first to know, I have just handed in my notice this morning, my last day is this Friday, and I told Cross that I am able to start work on Monday. I really want you to come with me, so now you know the timeline you need to get yourself sorted," he says.

I nod, "so Steven was pleased?" I ask.

Mark grins, "He was ecstatic", he says.

We make our way back to the office and Mark describes Steven's reaction to the news of the job offer. I go to my cubicle and settle down to continue with my work, I am not totally surprised to see Christine Field approaching as I sit down. I sigh, now that Mark has handed in his notice I was kind of expecting this.

"Eva, if you could come with me please," she says briskly and I am immediately on alert at the tone she used. I glance at Mark who also heard and is looking a little shocked at the encounter.

She marches purposefully to her office and I follow, feeling somewhat like a naughty schoolgirl called to the head teachers office, but then I realise none of this is my doing, I am not to blame for whatever the powers that be are assuming has happened.

"Please take a seat, Eva," Christine says sharply as she closes the door and sits down behind her desk. She clasps her hands in front of her as I sit down and wait.

"Tell me Eva did you encourage Gideon Cross to approach Waters Field and Leaman with the Kingsman account?" she asks mildly, a little too mildly considering the curt tone she had previously used.

I shake my head, "No" I say firmly.

She smiles and shakes her head, "Well I'm sorry, but I don't believe that for one moment, as due to recent developments, things seem to point to the fact that you were purposely planted here by Cross to try and poach our staff," she says.

My mouth drops open and I stare at her, does she realise how crazy that sounds?

"Have you any idea how crazy that sounds?" I say, my thoughts tumbling out of my mouth before I can stop them, I inwardly cringe at the lack of filter, but I carry on regardless as this has really pissed me off.

"To begin with, I was based in San Diego when I applied for this job, look it up in my employment record! I relocated to New York because I got it, I met Gideon Cross when he approached the company with the Kingsman account – so that was clearly _after_ I got the job," I stop realising that I have just revealed that I have known Gideon less time than I have been at Waters Field and Leaman.

"So you had nothing to do with Cross Industries approaching us?" Christine asks now slightly confused.

"Gideon Cross approached the agency on his own, and I have no idea what his motives were," I say, ok that was only partially the truth as I know exactly what his motives were... me!

I watch as she sits back in her seat and thinks, she still doesn't look totally convinced by what I said, and to be fair I don't think I would be either, looking at it from her point of view it all does look kind of set up and her next comment confirms that.

"I'm sorry Eva, I am just trying to work out what the hell is going on, I came in this morning to be told that Cross Industries – whose CEO just happens to be your new husband, have poached one of my best junior managers – one who you just happen to assist and in doing so we will also be losing one of the company's biggest contracts", she says.

I stand up, "Well I assure you that I had nothing to do with any of that" I say firmly, "and quite frankly just because I am married to Gideon Cross does not mean I am automatically responsible for any business decision he makes, and I resent you implying that I am" I say sharply.

I see the shock on Christine's face at my tone but I continue before she can respond.

"If that is what you really think, then my position here is untenable, I can't continue to work here being under constant suspicion every time my husband makes a business decision, so I quit, effective immediately, today is my last day!" I turn and leave before she can say anything.

I go to Mark and tell him everything that happened and what I have just done.

"I'm sorry Mark if this leaves you in the lurch but I'm not being accused of crap like that," I say.

He shakes his head, "No, I totally understand, are you going now or will you see the day out?" he asks.

"Part of me wants to go right now," I say and he nods.

"I can understand that" he says, he hesitates a moment and then reaches out and touches my arm, "Listen, all the projects we currently have are all nearing completion which is why I told them I was going at the end of the week, so all I have to do is tie up the remaining campaigns and not start anything new. So if you want to go now, then go, I won't stop you, and I'll give you a call on Monday when I have had a chance to see what I need to do to re-hire you as my assistant".

I nod and give him a swift hug, "Ok, thanks" I say.

I grab my purse and gather up my few personal possessions, I check my drawers that nothing is left and I look around.

"Well, that's it then!" I say.

"Yeah but not for long," Mark says confidently and I nod.

I stop off at Will's desk and quickly fill him on the events and he is shocked.

"Jeez Eva, that sucks," he says and immediately he stands and hugs me.

I shrug, "What can you do?" I say.

"Please keep in touch," he says earnestly and I nod.

"I will, and don't forget that you are still coming to the party Gideon and I are hosting aren't you?" I say remembering the party we are planning to bring together both Gideon and my friends.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, and Natalie is totally looking forward to it," he says and I see him smile as he mentions his girlfriend's name.

I say my goodbyes and leave the Waters Field and Leaman offices, I stop and glance back once as I wait for the elevator, and when it arrives I step in, I hesitate a moment and then press the button for the top floor.

As the elevator travels upward, I take a moment to think, this has actually been a blessing in disguise, I have just under a week to take stock of everything that has happened, and take a breath, the shit that has been shovelled our way since we got back from the Caribbean has been relentless, I can use this time, to focus on the important things, like the baby, my hand travels to my stomach as I think this and my husband, I can use my newly found spare time to help clear all the remaining issues from our life and hopefully give us some peace and quiet, Dr Lucas is the main figure looming in my mind as I think this.

Then more frivolous stuff pop into my head, and I realise I can also give a bit more thought to the party we are planning and our newly furnished Outer Banks house. I smile as the elevator comes to a halt and the doors open.

I am quickly buzzed into Cross Industries and it seems my conversation with the red-headed receptionist worked as she gives me a sincere and friendly smile.

"Good morning Mrs Cross," she says politely.

I smile back, "good morning," I say as I walk past her on my way to find Gideon.

Scott looks up and immediately stands, he looks surprised when he sees me, "Mrs Cross, Mr Cross never mentioned that..." he looks concerned that he has overlooked something.

I hold up my hand, "Don't panic Scott, I came by on the off chance of having a quick word with him, I look and see my husband pacing around his office talking I realise he is on a call and clearly very busy. He looks my way and stills a moment but doesn't stop talking. I wait, watching him as he brings the conversation to an end and he yanks off the headpiece. A moment later he is standing next to me a concerned expression filling his face.

"Angel, what a surprise, nothing is wrong is it?" he asks and then placing his hand on the small of my back he shepherds me into his office, as he does so he turns to Scott.

"I have 2 minutes till my next meeting, buy me at least 5, it's only with HR" he says.

I turn, "No, you are busy don't put off your meeting on my account, what I have to say won't take long," I say.

Gideon ignores me and closes the door, "what's happened?" he asks.

"I quit my job," I say and I watch as his eyes widen and his jaw drops open.

"Come again?" he says.

I smile, "I quit my job, about five minutes ago, after I was accused by Christine Field of being some kind of corporate spy for Cross Industries, that I was culpable in your quest for thieving Waters, Field & Leaman staff, so naturally I took exception to that and so I quit, I walked out and now I'm here," I say with a grin.

I see his jaw tighten at this news and his eyes flash dangerously, "Christ, I'm so sorry Angel, I never intended for that to happen to you" he says and he pulls me close, and as I touch him I can feel an odd tightness to him as if he is holding something back, and I realise this news has really angered him.

I push away from him, "Mark told you he was accepting your offer, he handed in his notice and told them that the Kingsman account would be leaving with him, so it was a natural assumption for them to make, considering our relationship but the way she asked me made her sound a bit stupid, Mark starts on Monday and hopefully he will bring me on board sometime shortly afterwards, until then I am a lady of leisure" I say, trying to keep some levity to the situation and let him see this hasn't bothered me in the slightest.

Eventually, he reluctantly smiles, yet I can see it is tight and forced "and what do you plan to do with your few days of spare time?" he asks.

I grip his shoulders tightly and pull him towards me, "Oh I have a lot of things I want to do, firstly I plan to avenge my husband" I whisper in his ear.

He pulls away sharply staring at me intently.

"I am going to use my unexpected free time to set up a meeting with Lucas - which we talked about, and which you agreed to, and then when I have what I need I am going to go have a quiet word in his wife's ear, then if I still have some time left I might just go and poke a stick at your mom again!" I say.

I see him shake his head "Just be careful, and listen to Raul, don't put yourself in danger, it's not just you now" he says and his hand once more gravitates to my stomach.

"Gideon I'll be fine," I say reassuringly, "But I'll be a good girl" I add.

"Glad to hear it" he responds, and the amused smile gets wider, "What are your plans now?" he asks.

I shrug, "I'm going to head home, call Chris, set up the meeting with Lucas and discuss the security with Raul and then I'll play it by ear and take it from there," I say.

I reach for him and he responds wrapping his arms around me.

"Then, after I've finished avenging, I'm going to take some time to go to the hospital with my husband and hopefully see our baby for the first time, and if I still have some free time left I'm going to kick back and plan a party and maybe even take some time out at the Outer Banks house to see if the furniture I bought has arrived and been put where I want it and maybe my husband could join me for that?" I say as my hands run restlessly over him.

"That's a very busy schedule, Angel," he says,

I shrug, "I like to be productive," I say with a grin.

Another small smile pulls at his lips, "You will make some time in that busy schedule and meet me for lunch, get here for 1 pm" he demands.

"Ok, I'll see if I can fit you in" I retort and I push up onto my tiptoes and press a swift kiss to his amused lips, then I pull away from him and turn to go, I see him texting and then he looks up.

"Angus is waiting for you outside to take you home," he says.

I nod and then blow him a kiss I head out. Angus isn't waiting outside and I have to wait a while for him to arrive which makes me feel bad, as he was obviously busy doing something else. When he does eventually pull up, I smile apologetically at him as he hurriedly climbs out.

"I'm so sorry, were you busy doing something else?" I say.

He smiles as he opens the door for me, "I'm the one who should be apologising lass, leaving you standing here waiting on the sidewalk for me," he says.

As I am climbing into the Bentley my phone rings, I frown as I see Marks number, what the hell? I've only just left.

"Hello," I say.

"Fucking hell Eva you will never believe what has just happened" he hisses.

His voice sounds echoey and I realise he must be in the bathroom, he is whispering as well, clearly not wanting to be overheard.

"What?" I ask.

"Gideon Cross has just come storming into the offices and he headed straight for Christine Field, did you tell him what she had said to you?" he says.

"Oh shit," I mutter and I realise he must have literally followed me down there.

"I was there at the time, because after you walked, she called me down to question me but she didn't get very far because he showed up, he just barged into her office without even pausing as if he owned the place... well I suppose technically he does, anyway, the other partners came rushing in and he let them all have it, he didn't hold back, but he was so controlled, he never raised his voice once but you could tell he was furious, the way he was talking it was... I don't know, icy," I hear him pause and I wonder if someone has come in, but a moment later he continues to speak.

"He told them that he was disgusted by the accusations Christine Field had thrown at his wife, he said you had nothing whatsoever to do with his business decisions, and it was wrong on so many levels that the assumption had been made that you were and that he had a good mind to sue them for defamation of your character, he didn't stop there and went on to tell them that he had approached Waters Field and Leaman despite having a competent in house marketing department because he had heard rumours and recommendations about a recently promoted account manager, he said that he wanted to see for himself if I was as good as he had been led to believe, and if I was it was his intention to head hunt me for his own team, which is what he did, and is obvious when you think about it because when they approached us he asked for me personally, he went on to point out that he didn't meet you until that initial meeting we had, but he said that his personal life had nothing to do with any business decisions he made and he was insulted and furious that his wife had been accused of any wrong doing, and he said that you should not be discriminated against because of who you are married to".

"Oh god Mark, I can't believe he did that," I say, well actually I can, he was protecting me, and making a point while he did so, making it clear that I was totally innocent even though he lied through his teeth to do so.

"Anyway, he told them that the Kingsman account was withdrawn with immediate effect and then he just turned around and left, literally in the last few moments, it all happened so quickly, I excused myself as I figured that I didn't need to be questioned anymore."

"Oh Jeez" I mutter, "Where does that leave you?" I ask.

Mark snorts, "I'm out of here today, I'm not staying the week now after that, I'm going to start packing up my stuff now, I still don't start at Cross Industries until Monday, but I couldn't stay, not after that," he says.

"I'm so sorry," I say.

"No don't be sorry, actually he has done me a favour, I can concentrate on some personal stuff this week, which I haven't had time to do, and I can take some time this week to help with the wedding prep too, because I have been so busy Steven has had free reign and it's time I put my stamp on things," he says good-naturedly.

"Well as long as you are ok with it," I say.

"I'm good really, I just wanted to tell you, so that you were aware, but I'm sure he'll tell you what he did himself when he sees you," he says.

"Thanks, Mark," I say gratefully.

"No problem, listen I'll let you go, and I'll talk to you on Monday, when I get the information I need to bring you on board," he says.

"Ok, bye Mark," I say and I kill the call, closing my eyes and resting my head against the back of the seat.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Despite being somewhat distracted by my husband's antics I still manage to accomplish what I needed to do, I manage to organise a consultation with Dr Lucas, under an assumed name of course, as there is no way I would get in to see him otherwise, and I asked for a double appointment which I paid for upfront so there would no awkward paperwork to fill in and even better it is at 2:30 pm this afternoon.

This makes me wonder just how good a paediatrician he actually is, if I could get a double appointment that quickly. A remark that Gideon had previously made pops into my head when he had told me all about the situation with Lucas when I had realised that Gideon owned the building that Lucas operated from. '_I bought the building because his practice is in it. Helps me keep an eye on him, and how well he's doing... or not.'_ That seemingly casual remark now makes much more sense. Perhaps Dr Lucas isn't that good a doctor? Well, we already know that fact, and it's not that I actually need his medical assistance.

I plan how I am going to handle this, I can't do what I did last time, and go in there all guns blazing, I have to be smart about this, if I go in there accusing him like I did before he will just clam up, I need to stay calm and lead him into a trap and hope he takes the bait and falls right in it. I call Chris and tell him the good news and he assures me he will come with me and that it's not too short notice.

I then contact Raul, who quickly arrives and supplies me with a receiver and he tells me he will drive us there and will be listening outside, he tells me if he thinks I am in any danger he will call my cell phone and I am to answer and then leave immediately he makes me promise that I will do so and I assure him I will.

Soon it is time for me to head out to meet Gideon for lunch, I am debating whether or not to rip him a new one for his actions this morning, in the end I decide on seeing if he tells me voluntarily what he did and if he doesn't, then, I will make an issue of it.

I climb into the waiting Benz and Raul drives me back to the Crossfire. I climb out and head inside, walking into Will who is heading out for some lunch as I do so.

"Couldn't you stay away?" he jokes and I smile.

"Just meeting my husband for lunch," I say.

"Did you hear what he did this morning after you quit?" Will asks, lowering his voice.

I nod, "I heard," I say.

Will grins, "He was fucking amazing," he says with a considerable amount of awe in his voice.

I roll my eyes, "I'm sure he'll tell me all about it," I say.

Will nods, "Yeah, I'll let you go," he says and we say our goodbyes as I walk to the elevator. I press the button for the top floor and the elevator makes its way up.

When I eventually get there and the doors open I look up straight into my husband's face, he reaches in and grabs me, kissing me forcefully.

"Ok, what was that for?" I ask when he releases me.

"Chris called me told me of your plans for this afternoon," he says.

I prepare myself for a fight but Gideon smiles, "I love you so damn much and I am speechless that you are prepared to go and do this for me" he says.

I shrug, "You'd do the same for me," I say hoping that opening will persuade him to tell me what I already know.

He grabs my elbow and leads me back into the elevator and as he plugs his key in it reminds me of mine which I don't need anymore and I pull it out and hand it to him.

"I don't need it anymore, as I don't have any reason to go to the 20th floor," I explain with a shrug at his confused expression.

He nods and takes it from me, "I'll have it redone for the 22nd floor for you" he says, and pushes the key into his pocket.

When we get outside we climb into the Bentley, once inside I turn towards him, "so, are you going to tell me what you did this morning after I left you?" I say mildly.

He looks at me, "I take it from the tone you are using, that you know exactly what I did," he says his jaw tightening, then he looks away.

"Why did you do it, Gideon?" I ask.

His head whips to face me once more and he has an incredulous expression on his face.

"They accused you of being a corporate spy, you may think it was amusing but I don't, it was insulting and they only jumped to those conclusions because of your relationship with me and that is totally wrong, so they had to be told, and so I told them" he says.

He is silent for a moment, his jaw ticking then he looks towards me once more, "I won't apologise for protecting you, you are my wife and they disrespected you and forced you to quit a job you loved, it was wrong," he says.

I find it ironic verging on hypocritical that he is calling them out on forcing me out of a job which he has been begging me to quit for weeks, but I don't say anything.

I sigh, "thank you, but you didn't have to do that," I say.

"Yes I did," he says through gritted teeth.

I reach for him and he yanks me into his body, holding me too tightly once more. I'm not stupid, I know this reaction isn't just about what Christine Field said to me this morning, he is worried about my impending visit and confrontation with Dr Lucas.

"Everything will work out in the end," I whisper in his ear and I feel him relax slightly as he takes my words in.

"Once I get this meeting with Lucas out of the way and hopefully get what I need from him, I believe then that will bring about a conclusion for many of the ongoing issues plaguing us, if I can just get that confession from him, I believe we can then turn a corner and put all the crap that has been thrown at us in the past once and for all and it will help you gain some sort of resolution for the issues you are working through regarding your past and we can then work on us, concentrate on us and our little family."

I pull his hand down to my stomach as I say this, and watch as he takes in a sharp breath.

"I want that," he mutters.

"So do I," I say.

"What if you don't get what you need from Lucas?" Gideon asks.

I sigh, "I haven't thought that far ahead, I am concentrating on being positive and focussing on getting what I want," I say.

**oooOOOooo**

As we are finishing a very pleasant lunch, I hear a familiar voice and turn to see Chris strolling up. He has a determined expression on his face, and I know this meeting means a lot to him as well. Gideon stands and offers his hand to his stepfather, Chris stares at it a moment and then grabbing it, he pulls Gideon towards him into a hug. I watch as surprise fills my husband's face and then he responds accepting the offered affection.

"I'm not disturbing your lunch am I?" he asks, as he glances at the table and then at me.

"Not at all, we are just about finished," I say.

Gideon sits and gestures to the spare seat and Chris gratefully sits down.

"I...I wanted to speak to you both before we do this thing this afternoon, as I have something important I need to share, especially with you Gideon" he says warily.

Gideon is immediately on alert at this, as he waits for Chris to elaborate.

"I'm divorcing your mother," he says.

Gideon looks shocked at this, and he sits back in his seat, "I don't expect you to do that" he says tightly.

Chris's face softens with compassion and he leans over and touches Gideon's arm.

"You don't expect anything Gideon, that is the whole problem, you have learnt not to expect anything from anyone, and I am putting an end to that right now, from this point onwards I want you to learn that you _can_ expect things from me, I want you to expect and know without question that I will have your back, that I will be there for you, and that I will fight for you and I will believe you as any decent parent should do, and I'll keep pushing, until you do expect that," he says.

I see Gideon swallow hard at this and he blinks rapidly, "what about Ireland?" he says gruffly after he has composed himself.

Chris smiles, "Don't worry about Ireland, I sat her down and explained to her that her mother and I were parting, as I had discovered that she wasn't the woman I thought she was, and I couldn't in good conscience stay married to someone after what I now knew about her, I assured Ireland it was nothing to do with her and that I still loved her dearly, and would always be there for her, and actually she has asked if she can come and live with me, she is naturally upset but she knows she has my complete support, as she always has so she'll be fine," Chris says confidently.

I watch as Gideon processes this and then nods, "I don't know what to say," he says.

Chris shakes his head, "You don't have to say anything, you don't have to feel anything about this either, all you need to do is accept the fact that you have people in your life now who will stand shoulder to shoulder with you and do what it takes to help you get the resolution you need and have never got."

I watch as my husband looks helplessly towards me and I reach across the table for his hand and grip it tightly.

"He's right," I say.

I watch as determination fills Gideon's face and he nods, "Thank you" he says in steady confident voice.

I glance at my watch, it is nearly 1:45, and as I think we should soon be making tracks if we are to get to Dr Lucas's office on time Raul appears, waiting silently a few feet away.

"Well this is it then," I say as I push to my feet, Gideon immediately stands and reaching for me once more he pulls me close.

"Be careful" he says.

"Always" I reply.

I turn to Chris, "Ready?" I ask.

I see the grim determination in his eyes, "Bring it on" he says.

We leave with Raul and I turn to see my husband watching us go.

"I'm going with him to his therapy session tonight," Chris says suddenly as we are walking towards the waiting car.

"Are you?" I say, I knew Gideon had asked him previously if he would accompany him at some point, I didn't expect that some point to be so soon.

The drive to Lucas's office is straightforward and after a final rundown of what Raul expects of me, we climb out of the car and head inside. The receptionist beams at us and tells us to take a seat. I look around, I know I have a double appointment booked but there are very few people waiting.

"I booked the appointment under the name Harris," I whisper to Chris and he nods in understanding.

A few moments later the receptionist looks up, "Mrs Harris you can go through now" she says.

I smile and look at Chris, "Well, here goes" I say.

I walk down to the office which I remember from the last time I was here, and without pausing I open the door, Dr Lucas is writing something and doesn't look up immediately that gives me time to compose myself and for Chris to shut the door and lock it, ensuring that we won't be disturbed if Lucas tries to call security.

He looks up and the smile freezes on his face, "You" he hisses as he leaps to his feet, "Get out" he says and then he looks at Chris in confusion.

I shake my head and calmly walk closer to him, so only the desk separates us, "No, I have paid for a double appointment and that is what I am entitled to have," I say calmly.

"What do you want from me?" Lucas says nervously as he stands his ground, empowered by the distance the desk puts between us.

"The truth," Chris says, as he steps up to stand beside me.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Lucas blusters, his eyes darting from Chris to me and back again.

I smile and lean right over the desk towards him, forcing him to take a step back, "Oh yes you do, the look on your face says you know exactly what we are talking about and why we are here," I say.

I turn and gesture towards Chris, "Let me introduce you to this gentleman, he insisted that he accompany me today, as he really wanted to meet the man who lied to his wife," I say.

I look up at Chris, and wave my hand towards Lucas. "Chris Vidal this is the lying piece of shit who lied to your wife and told her your stepson hadn't been abused and raped by his brother in law, Dr Lucas this is Chris Vidal, and he is really pissed at you".

I see Chris is ramrod stiff and his hands are balled into fists, he is letting me do the talking and I know he is trying to control the urge just to walk around the desk and beat the shit out of Lucas.

I return my attention back to Dr Lucas, "So, are you going to do this hard way or the easy way because I have plenty of time and am going nowhere until you tell us what we want to know" I say and I settle myself in the chair in front of his desk.

I point to his chair, "I'm making myself comfortable so why don't you do the same," I say.

"Get out" he hisses again.

I shrug, and sigh dramatically "Ok then, have it your way, hard way it is," I say.

I am still sitting not letting the fact Lucas who is still standing bother me, I'm not intimidated by him or his futile little attempts at domination.

"Before we start, I have one small thing to tell you, which might make you a little bit more co-operative" I hope to god my bluff works as I am going to use what Gideon mentioned during his therapy session.

"You see, my husband told me all about what happened, and he remembers that time clearly, and he told me something very interesting which I'd like to share with you today, and that is, did you know you were a second opinion?" I say mildly.

As I watch the words sink in I see the panic appear on Lucas's face. I nod, "yes before his mother brought him to you she took him to another paediatrician," I say.

Dr Lucas swallows hard and shakes his head, "You're lying" he whispers.

I shake my head, "Nope, not a lie" I say, I turn to Chris, "Gideon says he recalls his mother telling you she was taking him to see Dr Lucas, did she mention any other health official around that time?" I ask.

I see Chris frown as if he is trying to remember, and then realisation and he nods vigorously, "Yes, I remember, it was over dinner one night, she said she had taken him to see a paediatrician and that he was unable to examine him, so she was seeking a second opinion and mentioned Dr Lucas, she didn't tell me what the examination was with regard to but that must have been the time" he stares at me for a long moment, "Dr Robson... Robinson... Roberts? I don't remember but it was Rob something, but yes I remember" he says.

I can see him desperately trying to search his memory for other memories, memories which will tell him that Elizabeth wasn't the bad mother she now appears to be. I also realise that it also corroborates the memory Gideon has of his mother telling Chris about the appointment with Dr Lucas.

I return my attention to Dr Lucas and see he looks ill at this, and I smile sweetly "He was unable to examine Gideon because he was so afraid of someone going near him because he had previously been violated, repeatedly. Gideon told me that he remembers what that paediatrician said to his mother, he said that it was that paediatricians professional opinion that despite the fact he was unable to examine Gideon physically that Gideon's reaction told him something had happened to him, something bad, something vile and heinous" I stop and tap my chin thoughtfully.

"So, I wonder, considering how we have that diagnosis despite the fact no physical examination took place, how another supposedly respected member of the paediatric profession could get such a different diagnosis – kind of looks fishy especially when you dig a little deeper and the man accused of raping the child is actually related to that paediatrician, and well, it's not a huge leap from that to wonder what that paediatrician has to hide?"

"I am not a paedophile" he barks out.

"No, and I never said you were, but just think if it became public some way, that your brother in law was, and you just happened to misdiagnose one of his victims denying that victim his justice – I mean it could have been a genuine mistake, everyone makes mistakes, perhaps you didn't try and cover up the abuse at all, perhaps you were just incompetent," I say.

This incenses Lucas further, "I am not a paedophile and I am a good paediatrician and I do not make mistakes" he says arrogantly.

I shrug, "so you are not a paedophile and you didn't make a mistake which I already knew, so, that leaves the only other reasonable explanation then, and brings us right back to what we already know, that you lied, you lied to Gideon's mother, and knowingly covered up the abuse of a paedophile and denied a small child who had been raped his justice, by branding him a liar and subsequently alienating him from his family."

I pause and smile sweetly at Lucas who is wondering where this is going.

"So I'm just thinking how bad is that all that going to look when it comes out?" I say.

He laughs, and he actually looks relieved and I really want to smack the smug self-satisfied look off of his face, as he leans across his desk towards me.

"But that's the thing, it's not going to come out, it never will because Cross isn't that stupid! What can he possibly do? He doesn't want that sort of publicity surrounding him and besides there is no proof of what I did," he says.

I cock my head to one side, I am actually shocked that he just walked straight into my trap and incriminated himself without realising it and he still has no idea that what he just said proves his guilt.

I smile again at him, "think about what you just said," I say carefully.

I watch and see realisation dawning, he looks frantically from me to Chris, "I... I... get out!" he says.

I stand and lean towards him now, "No! You lied and you covered up a crime, you should not be practising, and I am going to destroy you for what you did to my husband, you had a child who had been molested and raped and you lied and you covered it up to protect your piece of shit brother in law," I spit.

All pretence is now gone and Lucas leans across the desk, and there we stand both nose to nose, leaning towards each other and neither of us giving any ground, his face rapidly turning crimson with rage, as he blusters and tries to call my bluff, then he stops and smiles but it's not a good smile.

"Ok, yes I admit it I destroyed the test results, yes he had been violated and yes there was physical evidence of that, he had a substantial amount of anal scarring which indicated repeated trauma in that region, synonymous with sexual abuse and I covered it up, I lied and I covered it up, there are you satisfied?" He sneers.

"Oh yes, Dr Lucas I'm very satisfied, and I thank you for your eventual honesty and for admitting what you did," I say.

He looks confused at my calm and polite response, "But there is no proof, it is simply my word against yours, and it happened years ago, nothing could be done now even if there was physical proof available, the statute of limitations has run out and my brother in law is dead, and it's simply my word against yours about what happened in here today, just because you have him as a witness means nothing either, and to prove it here it is again here is your confession, yes I lied, yes I falsified the test results, I did it, and I did it to protect my wife," he says.

I lean towards him, "and I am here today doing this so that I can destroy you and I'm doing that to protect my husband," I say coldly.

He laughs, "What are you going to do, there is nothing you can do!" he says.

I remember once again that this building is owned by Gideon and my head turns, my eyes scanning the room for security cameras and sure enough, I spot one and point at the small dome in the ceiling.

"Do you see that little dome in the ceiling? Security cameras! Did you know that my husband owns this building? It wouldn't take too much for him to get his hands on the security footage of our meeting today" I say.

Lucas shuffles awkwardly then shakes his head, "it would prove nothing, they are old cameras there is no audio, only pictures, that proves nothing," he says but he is looking worried now.

I smile again and shift the lapel of my jacket, revealing my transmitter, "game over asshole!" I hiss.

"W...what's that?" he asks his eyes bulging as they take in the small circular disk under my lapel.

I point at the transmitter, "This Dr Lucas is a state of the art audio transmitter, a bug if you prefer that term, which has recorded every single word that has been spoken in here today, and has been transmitted to the receiver outside in the car and heard by my husband's security officer who is sitting outside and listening in and recording every word," I watch as every last bit of confidence and bravado leaves Dr Lucas in a rush and he is staring at the transmitter shaking his head.

"No, you're lying," he whispers.

I shake my head, "No, I'm not, you are the only liar in this room Dr Lucas, I'm not, and I can prove it."

I pause then speak to the transmitter, "Hi Raul call my cell will you please" I say.

Almost immediately my cell starts buzzing, I fish it out my purse and I hold it up to Dr Lucas so he can see Raul's name on the screen.

"Well now, would you look at that!" I say sarcastically.

I answer putting the call on speaker whilst keeping my eyes on Lucas, "Hi Raul, you are on speaker say hello to Dr Lucas," I say.

"Hello Dr Lucas, I am Raul Huerta, a security operative for the Cross family," he says politely and my smile gets wider at the sick look on Dr Lucas's face.

"Are you not going to say hello to Raul Dr Lucas?" I ask innocently and I swear I hear a small chuckle from the other end of my phone.

"Have you got everything, Raul?" I ask, returning my attention back to my phone, whilst still watching Lucas's face closely.

"I have it all Mrs Cross," he replies.

"And also the security camera footage?" I ask, wanting to be sure we have a visual record as well.

"As soon as you mentioned the security cameras I called Angus and he is accessing them as we speak," Raul confirms.

I beam widely "thank you, Raul, we're all finished here and I'll be out in a moment," I say.

"No problem Mrs Cross, I'm right here waiting for you" he replies and I kill the call.

"There you go Dr Lucas, so let's see, that's two witnesses and a recording and visual footage of what you said - of everything you said, now it's just a question of what I am going to do with it," I say.

Dr Lucas stares at me, he is deathly white and he drops into his chair, "this will ruin me" he whispers.

I shrug, "You should have thought about that when you tried to ruin a small child who needed your help," I say.

"He got his revenge when he slept with my wife," Dr Lucas spits throwing that nugget at me.

I laugh loudly, "Is that all you can come up with?"

I lean over the table so we are practically nose to nose, "Let's get something really clear here, I don't condone what Gideon did, as you know he told me what he did and his motives for doing it and I told him straight that it made him look like an asshole, but the significant yet uncomfortable fact remains that your wife initially approached him, despite the fact she was your wife, not the other way around, it was only after she approached him and flirted with him did he realise who she was and decided to use her to exact revenge on you for what you did, which lets be fair was far, far worse".

"He slept with my wife, he used her, had sex with her repeatedly for a number of weeks and then dropped her," he spits.

I nod, "Yes he did, and as I have already said I don't condone for one moment what he did, and he was an asshole for doing that, but the point you seem to be missing here is that what happened between them was totally consensual, and nothing illegal took place, what you did was a damn crime, you lied and covered up a crime, a crime of the rape of a child". I say.

"But" Dr Lucas argues.

I shake my head and hold up my hand to stop him, "No, you can't make excuses, she could not have approached him in the first place, she could have said no, she could not have continued to go back for more, she could have put a stop to it at any point, but she didn't do any of those things, and what they did together, the things he did to her she agreed to, and she enjoyed it enough to keep going back, and most importantly it was two consenting adults, not a paedophile and a child."

I shrug, "Perhaps it's because she ignored the fact that she was married to you and went chasing after another man, fell in love with him and was ready to leave you for him is what really burns you up, more than the fact Gideon used your wife to get revenge on you, and the fact she loved every minute of it, I mean, it's obviously not nice for you to know that your own wife had to go looking elsewhere for sexual satisfaction, and the fact she kept going back meant she found it," I am goading him and it works.

"Get out" he hisses

"I'm going!" I say with a grin, "I'll say goodbye now, as I have other people to see and places to be" I glance at my watch, and I notice that I still have half an hour of my double appointment left.

"I still have half an hour left, but I tell you what, I'll give you that, I won't even ask for a refund, as what I have received today is far more valuable."

Chris who has stood and listened silently to this point steps forward, "You lying piece of shit," he says and without warning, he crosses the room and punches Lucas squarely in the face, I watch as Lucas falls to the ground blood pouring from his now broken nose.

"Chris, no!" I yell.

Chris drags up Lucas and pins him against the wall, "You deserve far more than that you piece of shit, but I'm not going to waste my time on you."

"I'll press charges for assault," Lucas says his voice thick as blood pours from his nose.

Chris laughs, "Go ahead, because with the evidence we have gathered here today we are pressing charges of our own!" he says.

I watch and see the moment Lucas realises that in the big scheme of things an assault charge will mean nothing to Chris compared to the satisfaction of watching him go down for what he did.

"Look, I'm sure we can come to some agreement," Lucas says desperately.

Chris and I give Lucas a pitying look and Chris lets him go and he falls to the ground in a heap.

"Let's go, Eva, we are done here," he says, I nod and Chris unlocks the door and we leave without another word.

I am on somewhat of a high as we leave, and I hold up my hand to Chris and he smiles and high fives me, I glance at his red knuckles.

"Are you ok?" I ask nodding at them.

Chris flexes his fingers, "Fine, he deserved more," he says.

We climb into the car and lean towards Raul, "can you take us to Anne Lucas's office now" I say.

"But" he begins.

I shake my head, "No I'm not showing my hand... yet, I want to play with her a bit, play her at her own game, she has been playing mind games with me and involving Cary so I want to accidentally on purpose show up where she is – see how she likes it, rattle her cage a bit and when she bites then I go in for the kill with the evidence," I say.

Raul smiles, "Very well, same rules apply I'll listen in and if I say so you leave," he says.

I nod and turn to Chris, "I'm doing this one alone," I say and he nods.

**oooOOOooo**

We wait outside her office, "She's in there" Raul says and I wonder how he knows that then suddenly he turns towards me "she is on her way out now" he says.

I nod and climb out of the car, I glance at myself in the reflection of the window and then walk casually towards her office just as she steps out on to the sidewalk.

"Well, what are the chances?" I say as I walk past her.

She glances at me, and for a moment she doesn't register who I am then when the penny drops and the blank expression on her face turns into shock I smile widely at her.

I rake my eyes over her, appraising her, she isn't wearing the wig and I point at her hair, "Ditched the wig? Good move as I have to say it didn't suit you" I say.

Her hand moves unconsciously up to her hair and then she recovers and scowls at me.

"What's up, cat got your tongue?" I goad, at her lack of conversation.

"He'll cheat on you, he will use you and then ditch you," she says her eyes fixed on my ring.

I snort "You're clueless," I say.

I watch as she steps closer her expression has changed, her face contorted into something ugly, I realise I am looking at true hatred and a shiver courses through me.

"You are the one who is clueless, he is probably fucking someone else at this moment, that is who he is, that is what he does," she hisses.

Anger surges through me, "You have no idea who he is," I say coldly.

She glares at me, "He's a monster!" she spits.

My eyebrows rise, "well I guess the fact that you grew up with a monster and are also married to one qualifies you to know what one is" I say, then I lean closer, "but in Gideon's case you are way off the mark," I add.

"Did you know he was in therapy as a child, he's sick, broken," she throws at me and my anger bubbles over at that.

"Yeah I knew that, but did you know that your sick bastard brother who was his therapist raped him, and then your lying piece of shit husband covered up that abuse?" I hiss.

The shock of my words as they hit her sends her hand shooting to her throat and she takes a step back, to which I take a step closer.

"Yeah, I know he's broken, broken from the abuse your sick bastard brother inflicted on him when he was a child, and from the lies and the fallout from those lies, your lying bastard husband told his mother, when he covered up the abuse."

"No, You're lying" she croaks, but she looks completely shattered and I wonder if she had some idea of what her brother did, considering the fact she seemed to know, Gideon was in therapy which could only have come from her brother, this makes me all the more determined to destroy her as well.

I smile, "You know your husband said that too, just a few moments ago just before I extracted the truth from him, the truth which was witnessed by my husband's stepfather and security operative and is now recorded, I'll let you have a copy if you like so you can hear it for yourself," I say.

"I...I don't understand," she says now shaking her head.

I gesture to her office, "I can tell you, I can tell you everything right now if you want me to, if you really want to know the truth," I say.

She stares at me and then she nods, and gestures towards her office before turning to go back inside, so wordlessly I follow her inside to her empty office. When we are both inside, she turns and folds her arms waiting.

"Your late brother Hugh was assisting a therapist engaged to help Gideon come to terms with some stuff in his life when he was a child, but I guess you already knew that considering you just told me he was in therapy as a child, anyway, your brother molested Gideon and raped him, he told his mother and she took him to a paediatrician who was unable to physically examine him because he was too afraid, that paediatrician told his mother that he believed Gideon had been abused by his reaction and told her to seek a second opinion to try and get physical corroboration for his diagnosis, his mother took him to your husband, who after hearing what had happened proceeded to falsify test results and lie to his mother telling her there was no evidence of abuse, and he did that to protect you," I pause as Anne drops into her seat.

"Move forward and years later, Gideon who is now a grown man but severely emotionally scarred and alienated from his family due to your husband's lies, is seeking revenge after learning why your husband did what he did, then you show up at some event and throw yourself at him, he learns who you are and more importantly who your husband is, and he thinks all his Christmases have come at once and takes you up on your offer for sex and proceeds to use you to exact that revenge," I pause and look at her carefully as I watch her taking all this in.

"I want to be very clear at this point, I don't condone his motives for what he did to you, he used you, when you were not responsible for your brothers or your husband's actions, and if it is any consolation he is deeply ashamed of what he did now, but you have to remember he _was_ broken, and in his mind he was trying to gain the closure he needed. But everything you two did was consensual and you could have walked away at any time, it could be argued that you shouldn't have gone there in the first place considering you were married, but that is beside the point, he was wrong for what he did to you and I told him so." I pause as I watch all this sinking in.

Eventually, Anne looks up at me, "and you can prove all this?" she asks.

I nod, "I can, your husband admitted to me this afternoon what he did and that Gideon had physical signs of abuse, everything was recorded and I can sit down with you and let you see and hear that footage, I'm sure Gideon can provide proof that it was your brother who attended those therapy session when he was a child, but as I have already said, considering you knew he was in therapy I believe you also knew your brother was involved in his sessions".

Anne nods her head sadly.

"I sat and listened as Gideon recounted what happened to him at the hands of your brother, he groomed, molested and then raped him. Your brother committed suicide didn't he?" I say.

Anne looks up and nods.

"Gideon told me he approached Hugh years later, the statute of limitations had run out for him, but he told your brother that he should never lay a hand on another child, and that if he did he would make sure he would set up an unlimited fund to help his victims get their justice, and it was shortly after Gideon issued that threat, that Hugh killed himself, which led Gideon to believe there were other victims out there" I say.

"I... I..." she says.

"Gideon is not a monster, yes he behaved badly with you but considering what he suffered through I think he can be cut a little slack," I say.

I see as acceptance of what I have said hits her and she nods, I can see I have totally destroyed her with everything that I have said.

"You will stop playing games, you will stop involving my friends and you will leave Cary alone" I demand, I want this to end, and the fact she involved Cary really pisses me off.

She nods, "it stops now," she says.

I nod that's all I wanted I turn and go to walk away, "Eva" she calls.

I turn back to face her, "I'd like to see the footage," she says, "I'd like to see and hear what my husband did in his misguided protection of me," she says.

I nod, "I can organise that, and maybe get you in a room with Gideon as well, now you know the truth?" I say.

She nods, "That's a good idea, and it will give us both the closure we need."

"I'll see what I can do," I say in a slightly softer voice and turn to go again.

"Eva" she calls again and I turn once more.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"Forget it" I reply.

I climb back into the waiting car, Raul and Chris are staring at me, and I know they have been listening to everything that was said between me and Anne.

"Will you take me to Gideon?" I say to Raul and he nods. I pull off the transmitter and hand it to him. He smiles at me as he takes it from me.

"I'll get a copy of the time with Lucas ready for you by the end of the day," he says.

"Thank you" I reply and settle back into my seat.

By the time we arrive at the Crossfire it is nearly 4 pm and for the second time that day I arrive unannounced in the Cross Industries office, Chris and Raul are with me and as we are buzzed in Angus joins us with a flash drive in his hand. I look at it and realise it must be the security footage from Lucas's office.

As we all troop towards Gideon's office on mass Scott looks up and once again looks surprised, then worried about our arrival.

"Relax Scott," I say with a smile and glance towards Gideon in his office he wearing a headset and is hunched over his computer and is talking, so I am guessing it is a video call.

"He should be finished in about 5 minutes," Scott says "then he has a window of about 10 minutes before his next appointment," he adds looking at his screen.

I smile, "Thanks, Scott, we'll wait then," I say and we all sit down outside Gideon's office to wait.

"Can I get you any refreshment?" he asks us all and we all thank him but politely decline. About five minutes later the door opens and Gideon appears, he looks at each of us in turn and then silently gestures into his office.

As soon as we are all inside he frosts the glass. Wordlessly I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his waist and just hold him.

Nobody says anything, as Raul sets up the recording and Angus hands Gideon the security footage. I watch as everything is set up and the security footage starts and the audio begins and I see myself talking to Lucas and hearing everything that happened.

Gideon stares transfixed at the screen watching the security tape and listening to the separate audio from the transmitter I was wearing. His breathing gets more laboured and heavy as time goes on and I reach for him and squeeze his hand.

Eventually, the video footage comes to an abrupt halt and snowy static fills the screen I realise it is so the evidence of Chris punching Lucas isn't included, and then the audio clicks over to my conversation with Anne, Gideon continues to listen, he freezes momentarily when he hears Anne's assessment of him.

When we reach the end he sits back in his chair and closes his eyes, "Jesus" he mutters.

I lick my lips nervously, "Will you see her?" I ask.

He opens his eyes and looks at me, "yes, yes of course" he says quietly, then in a rush of movement he grabs me and pulls me into his lap.

"Angel I can't believe it, you did it, thank you" he whispers in my ear.

I stroke his hair with my hand and rest my head against his "You don't have to thank me" I say quietly.

"Do you still want me to come with you tonight Gideon?" Chris asks.

"Yes... please... if you don't mind?" Gideon replies.

Chris smiles "It will be my pleasure," he says.

Gideon returns his attention to me, "I have my therapy session with Dr Petersen again, after last night I think we will be delving deeper into what was discussed, I asked Chris to accompany me as there are a few things I need to say and I think that the controlled setting of Dr Petersen's office is best for that," he looks at me carefully as if he is gauging my response.

I smile, I am overjoyed that he has now embraced therapy so readily and that he is learning, not all therapists are like Hugh and that it can be a positive experience and when you do have a good therapist the results are good.

"What are your plans for the evening Angel? I shouldn't be too late" Gideon asks me.

I smile and then take a shot look at Chris, "I'm going to see your mother" I say giving him a look which dares him to say anything.

"Angel" he begins.

I shake my head, "No Gideon, she needs to know, and I want to be the one who tells her" I say.

Chris leans forward, "I'd actually like to be the one who tells her," he says.

I'm a little surprised by that and it must show on my face as Chris holds up his hands and quickly explains.

"I'm not trying to step in and take over here, but Elizabeth is quite hostile to anything you have to say, I fear she would simply dismiss you as causing more trouble, but if I were to confront her with it, it would be different, to begin with, she would hear me out and I feel there would be more impact if it comes from me," he says.

I consider that and accept he has a point.

"Alright," I concede and I see Gideon stare at me in shock.

"What?" I ask at his incredulous expression.

"Nothing Angel, nothing at all," he says with a smirk.

He squeezes me tightly and presses a kiss to my temple. Suddenly Scott's voice comes over the intercom.

"Mr Cross the visitors from Norton's are here," he says.

Gideon presses a button to reply, "Thanks, Scott I'll be out in a moment" he says.

He looks apologetically at me but I am already removing myself from his lap.

"I'll see you later," I say and offer my mouth up for a kiss and cupping my face with his hands he willingly obliges then I pull away and see him look at Chris.

"I'll meet you downstairs just after 5 o clock?" he says and Chris nods.

Angus and Raul have already gone as Chris and I make our way out, and as we leave, we see two suited men waiting for Gideon near Scott's desk. Gideon pulls me close once more and gives me another kiss.

"I'll see you later Angel," he says.

I smile up at him, "You will" I say.

I nod a greeting to the two men staring at our interaction and then leave my husband to continue with his work, with Chris at my side.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

I sit on the sofa in the penthouse, Gideon should be at his therapy session now and now that I'm not going to see Elizabeth as I had originally planned to, I find myself with some free time so I decide to take this time to catch up with Cary, I pull out my phone and dial his number.

"Hi," I say as he answers.

"Hey baby girl" he drawls.

"How are you?" I ask.

"I'm good, I'm doing really good, it was the best decision I ever made moving in with Trey," he says, and I smile as I can hear the happiness in his voice.

"I'm really pleased for you," I say sincerely, "What are you up to now?" I ask.

He snorts, "You wouldn't believe it but I'm home alone just watching the TV, Trey is out at work at the moment so I am at a bit of a loose end," he says.

"Well that makes two of us, I'm home alone too, so why don't you come over and we can catch up properly? I've barely seen you since we got back from San Diego" I say.

"This is very true, we are both moving on baby girl," Cary says.

"I don't ever want to lose touch with you though, you are still my best friend in the world and I don't ever want to lose that," I say, as I feel panic setting in a little at the thought of Cary not being around or in my life.

"Never going to happen baby girl," he says confidently, "So, where's Cross if you are alone?" he asks.

"He is out at his therapy session with Dr Petersen tonight, we have had quite an eventful time and he is really coming around to therapy now," I say.

"Well, that can only be a good thing, because, and I mean this in the best possible way that man has issues," Cary says.

"I know, but he seems to be engaging more with the therapy and making a concerted effort to sort his issues out, I think it's the news that he is going to be a father that has made him so determined," I say.

"Well that's good, and I can understand that and look what happened to me when I thought I was going to be a dad, it was the biggest wake-up call I'd ever had, and made me really look at myself and get my shit together," Cary says.

"So the relationship with Tat wasn't a total waste then," I say.

Cary lets out a snort of laughter, but when he speaks he is totally calm, "I saw her the other day at a shoot," he says quietly and I go cold at that confession.

"What happened?" I ask nervously.

"Nothing," he says, "we were professional about it, we were there to do a job which we did and then I left," he says.

I smile, "I'm proud of you Cary," I say sincerely because I know that there would have been a time when he would have just taken that chance meeting as an opportunity to fuck her, and the fact he didn't is huge, really huge.

He laughs, "yeah almost makes me sound like a grown up!" he says.

"Listen, why don't you come over and we can watch a movie, and eat crap, like old times?" I urge.

"Ok, you're on," he says.

About half an hour later the front desk ring up to tell me Cary has arrived, and a few moments after that, he is sprawled on the sofa and we are laughing at a movie we have put on. It feels right, I tell him all about my day and he listens, offering his opinion here and there, it is just like old times.

He was shocked at the allegations that were levelled against me at work and he said I did the right thing when I quit. I skirted over the visit with Dr Lucas as Cary doesn't know what happened to Gideon and it's not my story to tell.

"We are going to our first appointment with the gynaecologist tomorrow morning," I say.

Cary looks at me and smiles, "Are you worried about it?" he asks.

I shake my head and am surprised when I feel tears leak from my eyes, in a moment Cary is beside me and wrapping his arm around me.

"Sorry," I say as I wipe the tears away.

"No, don't be baby girl tell me, what's worrying you," he says.

I sigh, "you know my history Cary, you know what Nathan did to me, the damage he caused, plus the fact he made me pregnant, and I miscarried that baby," I say.

Cary thinks a moment and then smiles sympathetically, "and you are now scared that you might miscarry this one too," he says.

I nod, "I don't even know if I can carry a baby to term after... if anything happened, if I lost this baby I..." I stop the thought too horrific to consider.

"Hey stop thinking that way, all you'll do is you'll drive yourself crazy, you need to talk this out with the professionals tomorrow, you need to tell them what happened to you and you need to ask questions," he says.

I nod, "yeah, thanks, Cary," I say with a sniff.

**oooOOOooo**

When Gideon comes in he shrugs out of his jacket and looks at us sprawled on the sofas with the chips and soda scattered around us.

"What's going on here?" he asks the amusement evident in his voice, as he yanks off his tie.

Cary looks up and grins at him, "Hey dude" he says then he glances around "I would have thought that was totally obvious, I am sitting here with your wife, watching a movie and eating chips!" he adds as he gestures to me and then the bowl of chips.

I see Gideon's lips twitch slightly, and after pressing a kiss to my head he sits down beside me and reaches for the bowl of chips and slings his other arm around my shoulder pulling me close to him.

Cary looks between the two of us, "Look, I'll make a move I think, Trey should be home soon."

I stand with him and hug him tightly, "Thanks for coming over, it was good catching up," I say.

"It was" he replies as he hugs me tightly, as he lets me go he turns towards Gideon, "Goodnight," he says and Gideon nods at my friend.

"Goodnight Cary," he says.

After I have seen Cary out I return to Gideon, "Do you want me to order you something to eat?" I ask.

Gideon shakes his head, "No, I've eaten, I just need to hold you," he says.

I don't need telling twice and in a moment I am next to him with my arms around him, I hear him sigh and relax in my arms as he holds me.

"I'm sorry I should have asked before I invited Cary over," I say filling the silence that had spread out among us.

I feel Gideon tense again, "Angel this is your home, you don't need permission to invite your friends over," he says stiffly.

"I know that, but this is your home too and it has been your home longer than it's been mine, it's your sanctuary and I should have taken that into consideration before I invited him here tonight," I say.

I feel Gideon push away from me, he is staring at me like he is working something out in his mind. I try and read him, and I am wondering where this is going.

"You liked having Cary here with you?" he says slowly.

"You're not jealous are you?" I ask incredulously, "I thought we were over this, you know Cary is my friend... just a friend, we were catching up that's all," I say pushing away from him and leaping to my feet.

Gideon holds up his hand "Eva, stop! I'm not jealous, I know what Cary is to you and I accept that" he says.

"Then what is this all about?" I ask I'm totally confused now.

"It's just something Dr Petersen said tonight," he says and he puts his head down.

I am now totally paying attention and am slightly alarmed at his reaction, my rising anger and irritation leave me in a rush.

"What did he say?" I ask.

I watch as Gideon visibly struggles for a moment.

"Gideon, what did he say to you?" I ask again.

"We covered a lot of ground tonight, we discussed a lot of things, and a lot of stuff is making more sense now. Chris didn't stay the whole time about halfway through the session, he left" he stops.

"Ok," I say, urging him to continue.

"I was telling him what happened today, everything that you did for me with Lucas and Anne and I even told him how you've quit your job, and how it had come as a bolt from the blue as I had been asking you to quit and come and work with me for a while and you'd always refused, he asked me a few questions regarding that which I answered and we moved on, we talked about so many different things we talked about our wedding, how I had taken you away to the Caribbean, and how we are together," he says.

I wait not saying a word, but I am wondering where this is all leading.

"We talked about the baby and how I felt about impending fatherhood, my family and my estrangement from them, we even discussed the party you want to hold, you know the bringing mine and your friends together thing, then after what seemed like general discussion he hit me with a question which threw me, he asked... he asked me who I had chosen, besides you."

I frown not totally understanding what he is saying. "Meaning what?" I ask.

"He said..." he stops, he looks up at me and my heart breaks at the expression on his face and pain in his eyes.

"He asked who I had chosen to be in my life aside from you, he said that he is worried that you are becoming a coping mechanism for me, because I have found someone who believes me and who loves me, and supports me and wants me despite everything," he says.

"Why? Surely it's a good thing for you of all people to know that you now have someone in your life who loves you unconditionally, who supports you and believes you and who wants you knowing what issues you have?"

I am starting to get angry as I wonder what Dr Petersen is thinking saying something like that, making Gideon doubt.

"He is worried about it because he said that I try and seclude myself with you, and shut everyone else out and that I haven't chosen anyone else to be in my life, I have to admit he is right, I do, I like nothing better than having you all to myself. Look how I am with you Angel, I do like to have you all to myself. He is concerned about how I am going to react when the baby arrives, because it will shift your attention from me."

A cold rock settles in my gut at his words, "What did you say?" I ask.

"He asked me if we were the only people in the world if that would bother me, and I said no it wouldn't then he said something which really hit me, he said that you are pushing me to resolve my issues and re-connect with Ireland and let people in because you want me to open up to others, to let others in, he said the bigger your intimate social circle is the happier you are, and that you want me to be pulled into it but he is concerned that I want the opposite – he believes that I want to pull you out, and he's right Angel, I am selfish with you, and I do try and separate you from other people because I want you to myself, for example as soon as I saw Cary here tonight I wanted him to go, but I don't want to be that kind of husband".

It hasn't escaped my notice that he ignored my question regarding the baby but I see immediately the turmoil he is in and I reach for him.

"Gideon, it's all a question of balance, yes I need my friends and family I always have, it's who I am, I'm a sociable person, but I need you too, and I love you," I pause and see the doubt still in his eyes, I sigh, and then I remember something.

"Do you remember what I said to you when I encouraged you to re-connect with Ireland?" I ask, I see him think and he shakes his head, and he gives me blank look.

I smile at him and remind him, "I told you there was room in your life for other people, besides me, or something like that, I think that is what Dr Petersen is getting at, I know you have been alone all your life and so it's a huge thing for you to let anyone in, but you have let me in and you have let Ireland in, and now you have let Chris in, you are doing it baby, you _are_ opening up to others, and I am so proud of you, you are letting me pull you in and don't worry about pulling me out because trust me on this, I won't ever let you pull me away from my friends and family" I say.

I wonder if he will answer my question about the baby. I look up at him, and try again to address the question I really want answering.

"How do you think you will react when the baby comes?" I ask nervously.

I see him think about that and a brilliant smile fills his face and lights up his beautiful blue eyes.

"I will love our baby with all my heart, I am overjoyed at the prospect of becoming a father and starting a family with you, and I can't wait for the baby to be here, yes it was an enormous shock when you first told me as I wasn't expecting it but I couldn't be happier, there is no way that I could be negative about this, I couldn't reject or feel jealous of our child just because he or she took some of your attention from me, that is so wrong on so many levels, and considering how my childhood was, how rejected I felt, I would never ever do that to my own child," he says fiercely.

His words are the reassurance I need but it also brings my own fears into focus, 'he is overjoyed and can't wait for the baby to be here', as those words circle my mind, I burst into tears.

"Angel!" Gideon says immediately, "what is it?" he asks.

"What if something bad happens?" I sob.

"What are you saying? Are you ill, is something wrong with the baby?" he asks the panic rising in his voice.

I shake my head "No" I say, and immediately this seems to calm him.

"What is it then?" he asks.

I take a deep shuddering breath and sniff as I try and control myself, "When I was 14 after what Nathan did, I had a miscarriage, I know I have damage inside from what he did to me, what if it affects this pregnancy? What if..." I stop and cry even harder.

Gideon realises what I am saying and his reaction is immediate, he pulls me close and he holds me tightly.

"Don't think like that Angel" he whispers. He kisses my head repeatedly and rubs his hand up and down my back trying to soothe me.

Eventually he pulls me away from him and gripping my shoulders he looks me in the eye, "Listen to me, we are going tomorrow morning for our first appointment, we will tell them what happened to you, we will ask the questions we need answering and depending on what the answer is we will deal with what they tell us, but no matter what happens we will face it together," he says.

I nod and sniff again, "ok," I say in a small voice.

**oooOOOooo**

**(GIDEON)**

I am a bundle of nerves and excitement as we wait for the gynaecologist to arrive, we have the first appointment of the day but we were told she was attending a birth and had been delayed.

While we are waiting, all the preliminary checks are done, first of all, they make Eva do a pregnancy test which I think is totally pointless, as we already know without a doubt that she is pregnant, but it is apparently policy so I don't say anything. Then they take Eva's weight and height and check her blood pressure, and go through a number of questions. I stay silent and just watch and listen, but my mind is bursting with questions that I want to ask.

A short time later a tall blonde haired woman appears and beams at us and holds out her hand in greeting.

"Mr and Mrs Cross, I'm Dr Marshall I do apologise for keeping you waiting, but as I'm sure you appreciate, babies have no regard for other people's schedules, and come when they feel like it".

I greet her with a customary handshake and we head into her office and take a seat as I do so I reach for Eva's hand and grip it tightly in mine.

"So this is your first pregnancy," the doctor states as she taps on her computer, and I feel Eva stiffen at those words.

"Erm..." she says, drawing Dr Marshall's attention to her.

"That is something I need to discuss with you right from the outset," Eva says, her voice quivering a little.

I rub my thumb over her knuckles to try and offer some comfort to her. I can see how uncomfortable she is and how this is for her, I am reminded of the night she let me in and told me of the horrific time she endured as a child. I desperately want to take this away from her, shield her from the pain she is undoubtedly feeling at this moment.

"I... when..." she stops, and looks at me desperately.

"It's ok Angel take your time, you're doing fine" I coax.

I want to step in but I know Eva won't thank me for doing so, so instead I shuffle my chair closer to her and offer her all the love and comfort I can.

Dr Marshall smiles kindly at Eva, "It's fine just take your time, whatever you tell me in here is completely confidential, and will not be repeated," she says.

Eva nods and licks her lips, "When I was a child from the age of 10 onwards I was repeatedly raped by my then stepbrother, and when I was 14 he got me pregnant, and I suffered a miscarriage" she says.

Dr Marshall gives Eva a sympathetic look, "Ok, well that's good to know and thank you for telling me that was very brave of you to share that, but I will tell you now, what you went through, it shouldn't have any bearing on this pregnancy," she says gently.

Eva looks relieved, "I wondered, because I was told I had damage... inside... from the abuse, scarring and I didn't know if that would..." she fades off tears starting to fill her eyes.

I step in at this point as I can't bear it any longer, "she's afraid that she won't be able to carry a baby to term as a result of what happened and she's also afraid that because she suffered one miscarriage she will have another one," I say.

Dr Marshall comes around the desk and crouches in front of Eva.

"I understand this is clearly very distressing for you, having to disclose these things from your past, now at what is a happy time for you, and I can only reassure you that because you have had one miscarriage doesn't mean you will necessarily have another one, but thank you for telling me as knowing your history will enable us to keep an eye on you and make sure everything goes to plan, and that you deliver a healthy baby ok?" She says, looking at Eva kindly.

I watch my wife nod, "Ok, thank you" she says.

Dr Marshall nods and reaches for Eva's hand, "may I ask you a few questions about the abuse?" she says and I wrap my arm around Eva offering her the support I know she will need.

Eva nods and Dr Marshall smiles. "Ok, You say you were told you had damage, do you remember what sort of damage?" she says.

"Eva nods, when I had the miscarriage they examined me and they said they found evidence of trauma, they called it extensive vaginal scarring, they did further examinations and I also had anal scarring as well," my grip on Eva tightens and she rests her hand on my knee and squeezes.

She knows what hearing what she went through does to me and once again it gives me more reason to condone the fact I killed that sick monster.

Dr Marshall nods and returns to her seat, "thank you for sharing that Eva" she says, and one more question, "did the abuse continue after you became pregnant?"

Eva nods, "but I didn't know I was pregnant, when I miscarried I thought it was just my period, but there was too much blood, the abuse came out because my mom took me to the emergency room and what they found during the examination, so it stopped from that moment on, the last time Nathan raped me was the day before I miscarried," she says in a matter of fact voice.

Dr Marshall nods, "Thank you for that information Eva" she says, then she leans forward and clasps her hands together, "After hearing all that and listening to what your fears are for this pregnancy I would say, that, yes I will admit that a history of miscarriage does increase the potential risk, but you were a child yourself at that point, you were not ready to have a child and the fact you were being regularly sexually abused and raped, well... I would say the stress and trauma of that was more of a contributing factor as to why you lost that baby."

She smiles encouragingly and Eva nods, I squeeze her hand and she looks up at me and I give her a reassuring smile.

The appointment proceeds and we are given a wealth of information, regarding early pregnancy, numerous pamphlets and information sheets so much so, my head is spinning and then Dr Marshall places a bottle of pills on top of the pile of paperwork.

"What's that?" I ask eying the bottle suspiciously.

"Vitamins, it is important that Eva gets the recommended dose and in early pregnancy, certain vitamins are beneficial for the baby's development and in some cases reduce the chances of certain defects".

I nod satisfied with the explanation.

"So shall we go and see your baby?" Dr Marshall says standing up.

She leads us into another room where there is a bed and a small table with a monitor on it and an ultrasound machine. I stare at it and then at Eva who is sitting on the edge of the bed. I tune back into the conversation she is having with the doctor which is something about the date of her last period.

"...in that case, we will have to do a Transvaginal ultrasound scan," Dr Marshall says.

What the hell is that? I watch as Eva nods, she seems to know but I don't.

"What is one of those?" I ask and I see Eva blush slightly.

Dr Marshall smiles at me, "This early in the pregnancy we wouldn't be able to see the foetus with a normal pelvic scan, so I will have to insert this wand inside Eva to find the foetus and do the necessary checks," she says holding up a long white stick.

I glance at Eva and see her embarrassment, and I can't help the smile that pulls at my lips.

My attention is drawn back to Dr Marshall who is searching for something, then she pauses in her search and speaks to Eva again.

"So if you would like to remove your underwear and hop up on to the bed, I'll be back in just a moment" and with that, she leaves the room.

I pick up the wand which Dr Marshall had pointed out and inspect it and then I turn towards Eva and give her a wicked grin.

"Just stop it and don't say a damn word," she spits at me.

I can't help it, a snort of laughter leaves me, as for some reason the memory of Eva taunting me on the phone with talk of B.O.B and her subsequent embarrassment when I brought it up when I saw her shortly after we first met fills my mind.

"It just reminds me of our conversation about B.O.B," I say innocently and watch as Eva's mouth drops open and she flushes even redder.

"Fiend" she hisses, and turns her head away to hide the twitching mouth that betrays the amusement she is clearly feeling.

I shrug, "Is it as big as B.O.B? Because I don't think it's as big as me," I taunt.

"For god's sake Gideon, will you please shut up!" Eva says but I see the laughter in her eyes.

I replace the wand and then I take a seat beside Eva and reach for her hand once more, pulling it to my mouth I press a kiss to her knuckles.

"I'm sorry Angel, couldn't help it" I whisper, and I see Eva reluctantly smile and then shake her head in exasperation at me.

"You can be so damn crude at times," she says and I grin again and give her knuckles another kiss.

"It's a gift!" I say.

I look up but before Eva has the chance of replying, the door opens.

"There we go," Dr Marshall says as she returns with a box of condoms in her hand, Eva blushes again and my amused grin just gets wider.

"Right Eva if you could bring up your legs and relax for me, this might feel a little bit cold and uncomfortable, but as long as you relax it shouldn't be painful," she says.

I watch as the doctor's hand and the wand disappear under a sheet which has been placed over Eva. My attention moves to the monitor as it flickers to life.

I hopelessly watch as I see... absolutely nothing. It is all a mass of grey fuzz then I hear an exclamation.

"There we go, there is Baby Cross," Dr Marshall says and points at the screen, I lean forward trying to figure out exactly what it is I am supposed to be looking at.

"I don't see anything," I say.

Dr Marshall freezes the screen momentarily, "There, do you see that small area of darkness?" she says patiently pointing at a distinctly dark patch and I nod.

"I do," I say.

"And do you see that grey blob just there?" she says pointing again at the bright grey blob.

"Yes I see it," I say.

"Well that grey blob is your baby."

My mouth drops open and I stare at the blob, my first reaction is that there must be some mistake as it doesn't resemble anything, let alone anything human, but I watch as measurements are taken and Dr Marshall carefully looks at the screen.

"It doesn't look like a baby," I say carefully.

"Gideon" Eva hisses at me.

Dr Marshall looks up, "I know it doesn't. At this point it doesn't look human yet as it's in it the very early stages of development plus he or she is lying at quite an awkward angle" she says, then she turns her attention to Eva, "I would say you are eight weeks pregnant at this point, according to the dates you gave me that puts you nearer to six but the size and development of the foetus I can see is closer to eight but everything looks good and we should get a more accurate date at your next scan."

Eva nods and looks relieved by that, then Dr Marshall returns her gaze to me, "by the time you come back for your twelve-week scan it will look very different to what it does now, by that point it will definitely look more like a baby".

"Does it... has it... is it?" I stop not really knowing what I want to say.

As I stare transfixed at the screen Dr Marshall explains, trying to take in all that is going on with that little blob.

"If I can just zoom in slightly, as I said I believe Eva is actually closer to eight weeks, the eighth week marks the end of your baby's embryonic stage, the early period of human development. The fact I believe this is because your baby now measures about 1.6cm (0.6in) in length, that's about the size of a kidney bean. Which, is in line with an eight-week-old foetus. His or her facial features are slowly becoming more defined as the upper jaw and nose take shape. Nerve cells in your baby's brain are branching out to form early neural pathways. The part of the brain responsible for his or her sense of smell is also taking shape". 

She moves the mouse a little and zooms in slightly and points with the cursor at the tiny blob. I see Eva frown and I know like me, she is doing the maths. If she is nearly eight weeks pregnant that puts the time of conception in June right back when we first met!

"But I can't be eight weeks, I've had periods in that time," Eva says confirming my thoughts.

Dr Marshall smiles, "that is quite common in early pregnancy," she says.

"But, not a problem?" I ask

Dr Marshall shakes her head, "No not a problem at all" I watch as Dr Marshall continues to do the checks.

"And everything is ok?" I ask.

"Everything is absolutely fine, I'm just checking things out and baby Cross's development is definitively in line with eight weeks development, his or her arms are long enough for their hands to meet over their chest and his or her legs are lengthening too. I can see this is the case here which also leads me to believe Eva is further than six weeks. However, his or her ankles, thighs, knees and toes are not yet distinct. The embryonic tail is almost gone, and the area where it was will become his or her tailbone or the coccyx".

I stare as Dr Marshall points with the cursor at each part of the little blobs body as she explains, marvelling at how she can make all that out.

I nod with understanding, "Can I have a picture of that?" I ask pointing at the screen.

Dr Marshall smiles, "of course you can, baby Cross isn't lying in the best position which is why he or she just looks more like a blob to you but it gives you some idea," she says and she promptly prints out two copies of the picture and hands them to me.

I look at Eva who is still staring at the screen.

"Our baby" I whisper and press a kiss to her head.

I pass one of the photographs to Eva and she looks at it carefully before pushing it into her purse, I stare reverently at the photograph in my hand and then carefully fold it and push it into my wallet.

Eva gets herself sorted out and we head back to the other office, I want to get my picture out and look at it once again, but I wait as the doctor is arranging the next visit with Eva.

"Alright then that's everything, and I'll see you in a few weeks time, do you have any further questions?" Dr Marshall says.

"Yes," I say immediately, I glance at Eva, "Sex, are we ok to have sex?" I ask.

I watch Eva close her eyes and flush a deep crimson, she shakes her head, I can tell she is totally mortified by my question but I need to know these things, I don't want to hurt Eva or our baby and I don't want to cause any unnecessary risk.

Dr Marshall smiles kindly, "there is no reason why you shouldn't continue to have a healthy sex life throughout the entire pregnancy, but just take your time," she turns towards Eva, "listen to your body, any pain, or discomfort during intercourse then you stop of course, any bleeding after intercourse then you must seek medical help immediately," Eva nods in understanding and then she shoots a glare at me, thankfully Dr Marshall doesn't notice, as she returns her attention to me.

"And obviously as Eva gets bigger, other positions will have to be considered to accommodate the bump and for Eva's comfort".

I nod, "thank you Doctor," I say, relieved and pacified by that.

"Not at all," she glances back at Eva, "That is the one question I always get from the dads, so Mr Cross isn't the only one," she says kindly.

We leave the doctor's office and Eva glares at me again, "I can't believe you asked that," she hisses at me.

I reach inside my pocket for my wallet and pull out the picture, I show it to her, "I don't want to hurt either of you, so I needed to know, for my own peace of mind" I say.

I see Eva's face soften and she smiles, "Ok, I'm sorry, but it was embarrassing," she says.

I stop listening and run my finger over the blob, still unable to believe that this tiny little thing which is growing inside Eva, a part of me and Eva, our baby, something I helped to make. I am lost in my thoughts of this when I feel Eva touch me.

I look up and see she is smiling at me. "When you've finished staring, you need to get back to work and I have stuff to do," she says.

I nod but my gaze once more travels back to the picture in my hand.

"That does make it kind of official," she says and I feel her slip her hand around my arm.

I move and wrap my arm around her and pull her close and kiss her, "it does, thank you Angel" I say and then looking down once more, "that is the most amazing thing I have ever seen" I say.

We walk to the car where Angus is waiting and I can't help myself as I thrust the picture at him.

"Look at that Angus, that is my baby," I say, I glance at Eva, "our baby" I correct myself quickly.

He takes the picture from me and stares helplessly at it, "I'm sorry lad, I cannee see anything, what am I looking for?" he says in confusion, I grin at him and point at the picture.

"Don't worry, I didn't see anything either, to begin with, until it was explained to me, do you see that dark patch?" I say as my finger points at the area in the picture.

Angus nods, "well, that there do you see it?" I say pointing at the small grey blob, Angus nods again, "Well, that is our baby" I say proudly.

A massive smile fills his face, "Well isn't that the best thing you ever did see" he says, he turns to me, "congratulations" he says, then he turns to Eva "to both of you" he adds.

We climb into the Bentley and I pull out my phone and take a photograph of the scan picture before returning it carefully to my wallet.

As we pull away, I turn to ask Eva what her plans are, when her phone rings, I swallow what I was going to say and wait as she answers it.

"Hello," she says, and I am immediately on alert as she was cautious when she answered making me think that she doesn't know who is on the phone.

As I am thinking this she grins, "Oh hi, I didn't recognise the number!... oh I see... yeah... no I haven't, really... ok that's a brilliant idea!" she says, she looks up at me.

"Shawna" she mouthes and I nod in understanding as I watch and listen to the one-sided conversation.

"Ok, well I'll take a look and let you know, but that sounds great... yeah and it would be so much fun, ok thanks for that, talk to you soon, bye... yeah bye" she kills the call.

"That was Shawna," she says, "I didn't recognise the number but she says she has a new number, she was calling about the party" she explains.

I nod but don't ask questions, Eva has taken on the planning of this and I have let her, all I have done is agree to it and I have asked my friends to attend and they are all keen to do so. I told them that Eva is planning it and I would let them know when and where it is, but it appears more effort is going on, on Eva's part and her friends seem to be involved in it as well.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

I dropped Eva off at the Penthouse and after securing her promise that she will join me for lunch I head to the Crossfire. I am feeling a profound sense of happiness, the like I have never felt before, after seeing my child for the first time, that tiny shapeless blob is a new life I have helped to create. I pull out my picture once more and just stare at it.

I don't notice that we have reached the Crossfire until Angus speaks to me.

"We've arrived lad," he says with more than a hint of amusement. I hurriedly push my photograph away and reach for the door handle.

As I climb out of the Bentley, Angus reaches out and pats my arm, "It does me good to see you so happy and settled lad!" he says.

I don't say anything, but I reach out with my free hand and squeeze his shoulder, he nods at me a silent understanding passing between us.

That happiness is short-lived as I am buzzed into the Cross Industries offices, and the first thing that greets me is Ireland, and she is clearly very distressed, as soon as she lays eyes on me she hurtles towards me throwing herself into my arms, she is sobbing hysterically and she is causing a scene and attracting attention.

"Christ, Ireland, what the hell?" I say as I quickly catch her. I quickly usher her to my office and Scott stands as he sees us approach.

"I'm sorry sir, I told her you weren't in this morning, but she insisted on waiting until you arrived," he says nervously.

"It's fine" I say, I glance at my watch and mentally run through my schedule, I had blocked off the entire morning as I didn't know how long the hospital appointment would be, and it is only 10:30 so I am in the unusual position of being at work and yet being totally free, something I was going to take full advantage of, but not now it seems.

"Hold my calls and if anyone asks, I'm not here," I say and Scott nods. I quickly push Ireland into my office and frost the walls, giving us privacy and then I turn to face her.

"What the hell are you doing here, you should be at school?" I snap, then I take a deep breath and try and calm down, she is clearly distressed about something and then it hits me, she is upset and she chose to come to me, when she could have gone to our mother, Chris or even Christopher, but instead, she chose me.

"What's happened Ireland, who upset you?" I ask in a calmer softer voice.

I watch as her lip trembles and she flings herself at me once more, I carefully wrap my arms around her and try to offer her some comfort, but I am at a complete loss, I have no idea what to say or do to make this better.

"Calm down Ireland, I can't help you if you don't tell me, what has upset you, talk to me please you are worrying me," I say gently.

I try to lead her over to the sofa but she is clinging to me like a limpet.

As she finally releases me and goes to open her mouth to speak my office door flies open and Chris is standing there, the relief on his face is enormous as he sees Ireland.

"Here you are, thank god!" he says but then he looks at me carefully, almost sheepishly, "I'm so sorry Gideon" he adds slightly nervously.

I look from Chris to Ireland and back again, a sense of unease rushing through me.

"Will someone tell me what's going on?" I say eventually.

"I went to see your mother last night... with the evidence," Chris says and he doesn't need to say anymore as it all becomes totally clear. Anger rises in me at the thought he had confronted my mother in front of Ireland, she doesn't need to know about my fucked up past. She doesn't need those details in her head.

"And you seriously thought it was appropriate to speak to our mother about that with _my_ little sister there!" I spit wrapping my arm protectively around Ireland.

Ireland looks up at me and shakes her head.

"No Gideon it wasn't like that, please don't be angry with dad, don't blame him, he had no idea I was there, he thought I was out and I was but I came back early and I heard him talking to mom and I listened, I thought he'd come back to see if they could work things out, so I stayed out of sight and listened, he had no idea I was there," I look down at Ireland she is gripping my jacket and looking at me earnestly.

"It's the truth Gideon, I swear he had no idea, I listened until I couldn't stand it anymore and barged in on them, mom was so cold she wouldn't listen to him, she refused to listen to the evidence, dad played it for her and made her listen to it but she just kept telling him to switch it off, it was horrible, then I heard dad say Eva had got the evidence to prove it had happened, and when he said that she went mental at him, just screaming at him, that is when I made myself known, I couldn't believe it and that was when I realised, that is why dad had left her, I just went in there and told her that she should have believed you and then I left, that's why you left home isn't it? That's why you would never come home and see us, because someone hurt you badly and mom didn't believe you when you told her, she didn't believe it happened to you?"

"Fuck" I hiss and push away from Ireland.

"Gideon, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry," Chris says.

"Just get out both of you," I say, "I can't deal with this right now," I say as I pace around the office.

I am feeling out of control and I want them to just go, all I can think of is getting them out of here and getting to Eva.

The next thing I realise is when Ireland is beside me and she grips my arm, "I love you, Gideon, please don't push me away, I've only just got you back in my life," she says desperately.

I close my eyes, I am about to tell them to get out again and then Eva's words from last night fill my head, '_you have let me in and you have let Ireland in, and now you have let Chris in, you are doing it, baby, you are opening up to others, and I am so proud of you_' I pause as I think about them, if I push them away now, I will be back to how I was before, the last thing I wanted was Ireland ever finding out about what happened to me, but she knows now and I can't do anything about it, I can react one of two ways, I can push them away and shut them out or accept them and accept the love and compassion they clearly want to give me.

I think about it for a moment and think what would Eva want me to do? The obvious answer comes to me in a rush and in that moment I pick the latter choice. My arms go around Ireland and I start to sob and we both sit down with a thud on the sofa. A moment later I feel Chris crouch and encircle us both.

"Where did you go, I've been searching all night for you?" Chris asks after a few moments.

I pull myself together and wipe away the tears and look down at my sister as she shrugs.

"I just walked around for a long time and then I went to Christopher's, I asked him not to tell you I was there" she pauses and looks up at me, "but don't worry I didn't say anything I just said that mom and dad were arguing again and I had to get away."

Ireland looks at me warily and slips her small hand into mine, "I'm sorry Gideon, what happens now?" she asks.

I sigh, "I have no idea, I never anticipated this ever happening, I never wanted you to know what happened to me, I don't want that crap in your head," I say.

Chris sits down on the sofa beside me, "Gideon, it is all out in the open now as it should be, we all know and we all believe you, that can only be a positive thing for you to help with your healing, because it's obvious that you have never healed properly because you had nobody who believed you or supported you, and now you do, and we will do everything we can to offer you whatever support you need, but you have a family again now Gideon, a family who loves you and who believes you," he stops speaking and looks at me earnestly.

I look up at him, that had been the one thing that had shocked him most last night during the therapy session with Dr Petersen, not the gruesome details of the abuse one simple sentence I said where I described how I felt I had lost my family when my father had died and again when my mother refused to believe me, and I realise in a rush he wants to give me that family back.

I think about the little blob Eva and I saw this morning, the next generation, and I don't want my child to grow up feeling no love or support, I fully intend on being the best father there has ever been and I have no doubts in my mind that Eva will be a good mother, I look at Ireland and Chris, they are my baby's extended family, a grandfather and an aunt can I deny my child the love they would undoubtedly want to give him or her? Of course, I couldn't and in that moment I fully accept the love they want to give me too.

After Chris and Ireland leave I have an odd sense of peace flowing through me, as if by accepting Chris and Ireland something has slotted into place and healed. The fact they both believe me unconditionally is massive and I realise that is part of the reason I am feeling so calm, almost serene at the moment, yet paradoxically my head is spinning from the events of this morning.

I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and pull it out to reveal a text from Eva.

_**Anne Lucas wants to meet and talk to you, do you want to do this?**_

I think about that, according to the recording I heard, the initial meeting with Eva had gone extraordinarily well, I am still on a high from the hospital appointment and now after what happened with Ireland and Chris I feel I can deal with this, try and get another broken part of my life put back together.

I quickly type my response.

_**Bring it on**_

I hit send and wait.

_**Good, because we are both about to arrive at the Crossfire x**_

I smile as I read it, my wife is working so hard to try and give me what I need to heal me.

_**Come straight up, I am free now**_.

I poke my head out of my office door.

"Scott, my wife is on her way up and she will have someone with her, make sure they come straight through," I say.

A few moments later Eva and Anne appear, Eva stares at the frosted glass which is still in place from Ireland and Chris's visit, I walk towards my wife and kiss her. Then I turn my attention to Anne, I have never been so uncomfortable in my life and I can see immediately she feels the same, this is awkward, to say the very least.

Eva notices this and quickly takes charge, "Ok we all know why we are here," she says and she directs us to the seating area.

I notice Eva is carrying a laptop and the recorder containing the audio footage of her confrontation with Lucas.

As Anne sits down nervously and I notice she too is holding a bag which contains a book of some description. I return my attention to Eva who has plonked the laptop down in front of Anne and is setting up the recorder.

"I think first of all you should see and hear what your husband did," Eva says efficiently.

"Wait," I say and both women look up at me.

I sit down on the sofa opposite Anne, and lick my lips nervously.

"First of all I want... I need to apologise for the way I treated you, it was wrong, I was punishing the wrong person, you were innocent, you had nothing to do with the actions of your brother or your husband, but it all got mixed up in my head and all I could see was revenge, hurting your husband for his lies and also... I... I…"

I stop speaking and put my head down the shame consuming me so completely that I can't get the words out.

Anne smiles kindly at me, "You saw my brother in me when we were together and you felt you were also punishing him in a way for what he did to you," she says.

That is exactly what I did, and I knew it was wrong but I couldn't stop myself from doing it and the shame and remorse I now feel for my actions consume me, I can't say anything and so I just nod silently.

"I need to say something too, I am shocked and appalled at what my husband did, there is no way I can condone any of it and he should never be practicing as a paediatrician after doing something so heinous as lying about the abuse of a child, I will do whatever you need to ensure he is brought to account for his actions."

She stops and looks down at the bag beside her.

"I also want to apologise for what my brother did to you, I know that is hollow and probably pointless for you after what he did to you, but I need to do it all the same. I also feel I need to tell you a little about him, not to excuse what he did, but to give you a little insight into the sort of person he was, we knew he was a troubled soul, you see, not that it excuses a thing he did but... our grandfather was not a good man and he abused our father and in turn he abused us, we all went into the mental health field, I did it to try and heal myself for what had happened to me and for me it really helped, so I persuaded Hugh to do so to try and prevent another generation suffering the way we had, I had recently married Terry and Hugh was seeing a girl, he later married her and he had a young son when he died. I managed to overcome what was done to me and use the experience to help others, but it seems that Hugh didn't manage to do so."

She stops and picks up the bag looking at it again for a moment and then she thrusts it towards me.

"When Hugh died I was given all his case notes to keep custody of, I have never read any of them, but I knew you had been in therapy with him as a child, from his past patients list, I swear I have no idea what is written in these pages and considering what he did to you I would assume what he did write is all fabrication, but I want you to have it to see if you can gain some sort of closure or explanation as to why Hugh did what he did" she says.

Her hand is shaking as she holds out the bag to me, I stare at it and then take it from her.

"Thank you," I say.

She turns to Eva, "Ok I'm ready" she says steeling herself as Eva leans over and presses on the keyboard and then starts the recording.

I close my eyes momentarily as the conversation between Eva and Lucas fills my office, when I open them I see Anne listening intently and watching the screen.

Not a word is spoken between us until the recording comes to an end and Eva once more presses something on the keyboard to close the visual file down. Eva gently closes the laptop and turns to look at Anne who is shaking her head in disgust.

"I'm appalled, I am totally speechless and appalled, I swear I had no idea, and I certainly didn't ask him to lie, I knew nothing of this and I really don't know what to say," she says.

I lean forward, "This ends now, no more, we draw a line, I have apologised to you for my past behaviour and explained my reasons for why I did what I did to you, I am truly sorry and there is nothing more I can say," I say.

Anne nods, "and I apologise for my behaviour too, it was wrong of me to carry this on the way I have done all these years, and drawing Eva and her friends into it when you two got together was unforgivable, but on the plus side it has encouraged a positive conclusion for all of us".

"Why did you approach me and Cary?" Eva asks suddenly.

Anne smiles sadly, "Honestly? I'm not sure, I have been messed up for years the way it ended I had no idea why Gideon just dropped me the way he did, I was blinded by my jealousy and while I could say that I was genuinely afraid that he would treat you the same way and wanted to warn you, but I really don't think my motives were that virtuous. I will say this though, I did often wonder what had happened to you to behave the way you did, and during our time together I did pick up certain markers which pointed to abuse of some description, but I assumed it was a family member, never in a million years though did I expect that the family member would be one of mine."

She shakes her head again and nods towards the bag I am still clutching tightly.

"I hope that helps, and as I say, I will support you with whatever you decide to do with regards to my husband."

She spits out the word husband with such disdain I wonder for how much longer she will remain married to him, which leads me to ask one final question.

"Why did you approach me in the first place, knowing you were married?" I ask.

Anne smiles and gestures towards me as if that should explain everything.

"Purely shallow and superficial reasons, you are a good looking man Gideon, I was having issues with my marriage at that point in time and instead of working through them I looked elsewhere, and you were there, I made the move and you responded, I suppose you could say it was fate or karma playing a cruel trick on both of us!"

I look at Eva who is watching us silently, so I decide to bring this to an end and I stand up.

"Well thank you for coming today Anne and thank you for being so honest," I say.

Anne stands and gathers up her purse, she thrusts out her hand towards me, "No hard feelings, it's over, done" she says.

I accept the handshake, "Over" I say.

As our hand's touch, I once again feel another odd sense of calm flow through me as if something else has just slotted into place and Eva comes and stands with me as Anne leaves my office.

I wrap my arm around Eva's shoulder and pull her close, "It's been one hell of a morning" I say.

She looks up at me questioningly.

"Ireland knows," I say and quickly outline everything that happened earlier, Eva wraps her arms around my waist and squeezes offering me her silent support and comfort.

"Wow, it has been quite a morning then," she says when I have finished. She looks at me carefully, "and how do you feel now?" she asks.

I think about that for a moment before I answer, "Truthfully? Oddly calm, and I didn't really expect that," I say and she smiles.

"Closure – you have gained some sort of closure," she says, "and now hopefully we can get on with our lives without our past butting in," she adds.

I stare at the bag Anne gave me, and hold up my finger pointing at it, "I think I will need to read that before I can agree with you" I say.

**oooOOOooo**

After a quiet lunch with Eva where after I have talked through with her all the events of this morning, and she tells me once again how proud she is of me, this time for how I handled Ireland finding out, it puts me in a positive frame of mind to tackle the afternoon.

When I head back to my office I power through the rest of my day with ruthless efficiency. By the time 5 pm rolls around I am on top of everything and ready to call it a day.

I smile as I look at my watch as I am preparing to leave. Before Eva, I never left the office before 9 sometimes 10 o clock at night and I was back in again long before the sun rose. Now if I am kept here beyond 6 pm I'm irritated. I accept that with my overseas offices I have to accommodate the time differences and be available to talk when they are working but the days of working around the clock no longer appeal to me, and an idea of downscaling my organisation is starting to form in my mind, I have made my fortune and I have more than enough for several lifetimes, I don't need to work as obsessively as I once did.

I put those musings to one side and grab my jacket and send a quick text to Angus to be waiting for me as I close down my computer. I reach into my drawer and pull out the bag Anne gave me and make my way out.

"You're going?" Arash says in surprise as he sees me making my way through the office.

I pause, "I am, why, is there a problem?" I ask.

Arash shakes his head and smiles, "No, it's just you've barely been here today! I just I remember a time when you were the first in and last out, in fact, I would swear you never left the damn place, but now…" he pauses and shakes his head dramatically "you're slacking, Cross – big time!" he says.

"Whose name is on the door?" I ask and Arash laughs so I continue, "I have a very good reason for my absence this morning not that I have to report my whereabouts to you," I say and Arash grins at me clearly waiting for me to elaborate, I glance around and then pull him to one side.

"You are my personal attorney, so what I am about to tell you comes under that client confidentiality" I hiss.

His eyes widen and he leans in to listen.

"Eva is pregnant, we were at the hospital this morning having our first prenatal appointment, but that is privileged information, nobody else knows yet," I whisper and his jaw drops.

"Wow, holy shit man, congrats to you both!" he says as he recovers.

"I have a life other than Cross Industries now," I say quietly.

Which makes me consider my company once again, it is true it demands more of me than I am willing to give now, before it was my life and all I had, but now my life has changed and I need to do something about my work and home life balance, but that is for another day, for now, I just want to get home to my wife.

"Yeah, you do! Which reminds me - the reason for that life texted me a few moments ago with the details of the party, I'm looking forward to it... Ace!" he says with a grin.

Since he first heard Eva's nickname for me he has not let it go, and at every possible opportunity, he has tried to wind me up by dropping it into conversations.

"Do you really hate your job so much?" I ask dryly, and he just slaps me on the arm and walks away chuckling to himself.

Angus is waiting at the kerb and as he opens the door of the Bentley I thrust the bag at him.

"What's this?" he asks taking it from me and looking at it suspiciously.

"Hugh's patient notes... on me," I say and watch as Angus stares at the bag and then at me with wide-eyed shock.

"You're kidding?" he says.

I snort and shake my head; "I wish I was" I say and climb into the Bentley.

"What are you going to do with them?" Angus asks as he takes his place in the driver's seat.

"I am going to read them, see what lies he wrote about me and then I'm going to burn them," I say firmly.

Angus nods and throws the bag back towards me, then silently pulls into traffic. I catch it and place it on the seat next to me. I look at it and it reminds me of the meeting today, I look up towards Angus.

"Since meeting with Anne today, I feel different," I say suddenly.

Angus looks at me in the rear-view mirror, "Different? How?" he asks.

"I don't know, calm, relaxed, you could almost call it an inner peace as if something has been laid to rest for me," I say.

Angus smiles, "That's because something has been laid to rest, I know you lad and I know that you have always regretted how you treated that lass, and now you have put that right and not only that, but with the help of that wee lass you married, you are slowly putting right all the wrongs that have happened in your life, and you are starting to feel the benefit," he says.

"You tried to warn me at the time," I whisper.

"Aye lad I did, but you didnee heed the warning," he says.

I wince at that, I had behaved appallingly towards Angus and that is something I still regret deeply and I quickly decide I need to put that right.

"I still regret deeply what I said to you back then," I say suddenly, "you were only trying to help and what I said was unforgivable," I say.

"Forget it, lad," Angus says briskly.

I can't forget it though. My mind relives that night all those years ago when I'd taken Anne to the hotel that first night, Angus had watched me as I'd ushered her into the car, stopping me before I climbed in after her.

'What are you doing lad?' he'd asked me, and in the weeks that followed, he'd made his disapproval clear more than once, until the day he had lost patience with me and raised his voice to me.

He had been right, completely right, and I knew that every word he said was correct but I didn't want to hear it, I was disgusted with myself for punishing a woman who had done nothing to me and her only crime was the fact she was the sister of the man who raped me and the wife of the doctor who had covered up that crime. I was in turmoil at what I was doing and I had taken it out on him, rounding on him and telling him to remember his place or he wouldn't have one with me anymore.

The hurt look on his face and the pain in his eyes which was evident before he quickly hid it from me that day will haunt me to my dying day.

"I'm sorry," I say, and Angus looks back at me once more, "I'm sorry for what I said to you, how I handled it, I'm sorry for everything back then," I say.

I watch his reaction, waiting for him to say something and then I see a small smile fill his face. "The apology isn't necessary lad, but thank you, I accept it," he says.

I break eye contact with him and look down at my hands which are fisted in my lap, I relax them as I hear his words.

"Thank you" I say, and once again I feel a sense of calm flow through me, as I let go another part of my past.

I take the bag in with me as I enter the penthouse, and I throw it down on the sofa. I look around, Eva isn't in here, and as I look around a feeling of fear starts to rise from the pit of my stomach.

"EVA!" I call as I go in search of my wife.

"In here!" is the response and I immediately feel the fear vanish, as I follow the voice.

I find my wife in the master bedroom and I lean against the door frame with my arms folded watching her with a tape measure and notepad, she is scribbling furiously.

"What are you doing?" I ask in amusement.

She turns and beams at me, "I've had an idea, in fact, I've had several ideas, in fact, I've got so much that I want to say to you" she says, she is practically bouncing with excitement.

"Alright, I'm listening," I say.

"Well, first of all and totally unrelated to what I'm doing in here, I've organised the party – Shawna told me about this place and it sounds cool so I booked us a booth, after I text everyone to make sure they were available and it's on Friday night and then I thought afterwards instead of coming back here we could head straight to the airport and fly down to the Outer Banks house for the weekend, on Friday night so if you agree could you organise a plane for us? As I wasn't sure who to contact about that," she says, the words tumbling out of her mouth in a rush.

I nod, "That's fine, I can do that, and for future reference, you can just call Scott or out of office hours Angus will handle it," I say.

She beams at me and my heart lurches to see it, I would do anything for one of those smiles.

"Secondly, I've arranged all my stuff to be brought here tomorrow from the Upper West Side and I'm going to sell all the furniture in there that's left and put the money to the foundation which I am seriously going to pull my finger out and make a start on launching, I called Cary and he is willing to be the face of my foundation, he even said that he might go public with his story so that his involvement would have some substance," she says.

"Alright," I say making a mental note to make sure all the Crossroads resources are made available to her for that and then I move closer and sit down on the bed.

I know Eva met Cary in therapy in San Diego and he has been through some sort of trauma in his life, I wonder what his story is and if it is anything similar to Eva and mine. My attention is brought back to my wife who has suddenly lost all of her excitement and is looking at me seriously almost worried and it puts me on alert.

"And the third thing, well," she says, and I wait wondering what she is going to say, "I've cancelled the renovations on the Penthouse," she says, my eyes widen and I stare at her in shock at this announcement.

I make no response to that so she quickly continues.

"We said that our ultimate goal was you sharing a bed with me the entire night," she says.

"We did" I agree, wondering where this is heading.

"I really like this bed," she says pointing at my huge sleigh bed and I smile.

"So I'm suggesting we move it into the spare room until the time comes that you are confident to bring it back to sleep in it with me, and until you are we get twin beds for us in here, that way we will be sharing a room, but not a bed, I will be safe just in case... but we will also be sharing a room which is better than having walls between us" she says looking at me hopefully.

I consider what she is saying, and realise it could work, but I still have reservations about this.

"But what if I wake you when I have a nightmare? You are pregnant Eva you need your rest now more than ever" I say.

She smiles at me, "please Gideon" she says, "Can't we just try?" she asks.

I can't say no to this, it kills me that I can't give my wife this fundamentally basic thing in our marriage, and although I can foresee issues arising from this arrangement, I can also see her point and I also long to spend the night with my wife, and this is a reasonable compromise – for now, as we will certainly have to revisit it when the baby arrives, and I say as much.

"Alright, on the condition we revisit and review it when the baby arrives, as for the first few months the baby will need to sleep near you if you are nursing, and I don't want to pose any risk at all to either of you," I say.

I see the compassion in her eyes as she nods, "I can live with that, plus the spare room will at some point need to be converted into a bedroom for our child," she says giving me a meaningful look.

I can see what she is getting at, that by the time the child will need a room of its own she is hoping I will be fixed enough to bring the sleigh bed back in here for us to sleep in together, and right there and then I resolve that I am going to do everything I possibly can to rid myself of my night time torment.

I reach for her and she climbs into my lap straddling me, I feel my dick immediately pay attention to this and my hands automatically cup her ass and I squeeze gently which produces a small moan, and I'm now totally and painfully hard. Eva looks down between us as she felt me harden and grins, then she starts fumbling with my belt buckle, that is all the encouragement I need, I twist placing her on the bed and I straddle her, taking care not to place my weight on her.

In seconds I have divested her of her jeans and top and I am busying myself tackling her bra, she reaches up once again grasping at my belt buckle and manages to undo it. We are both panting with anticipation and I help her by undoing my vest and shirt and throwing them carelessly to the floor and they land on top her jeans, as she unzips my trousers her hand catches my dick and I groan thrusting my hips towards her and she smiles and pushes her hand inside the open fly, I nearly come right there as she strokes me.

"Fuck... Eva," I hiss.

"Take them off" she orders and I don't need telling twice.

I lift myself from her and in one swift movement, my trousers and boxer briefs join the heap of clothes. I lean over Eva and pull down her panties and removing them they too join the other clothes. I take a moment to feast my eyes on her, she is beautiful, I look at her breasts and I realise that they look bigger, I cup them in my hands running my fingers over her nipples which harden immediately.

I am careful as I touch her as I know they are tender at the moment, "Your body is changing" I say as I touch her, she smiles up at me.

"They are so tender," she says confirming what I already know and she rubs her hand over her breast.

I lean down and gently kiss each one in turn and lick her nipples carefully stroking them with my tongue, I hear her moan and her hands move over my back. I make my way down her body leaving a trail of kisses in my wake, I love doing this as it always makes little goosebumps appear and sometimes she even twitches as I cover her body with my lips.

"Gideon" she moans and she reaches between us and grasps me rubbing me forcefully from root to tip.

"Eva, stop I'll come" I gasp pushing her hands away.

"I want you" she whines.

"Let me take care of you first," I say and I continue loving her until I feel her come in rush, screaming out my name.

I smile, "Now Angel, you said you wanted me, where?" I ask.

She is flushed from her orgasm and breathing heavily but she gives me a wicked grin, "in my mouth and then inside me," she says.

"Your wish is my command I say, and I shuffle up the bed so my legs are straddling her shoulders and I direct my rigid throbbing dick to her lips she raises her head and licks me, her tongue searching and probing the feeling makes me want to thrust deep, but she can't lift herself to take any more than the wide head of my dick like this, I move suddenly so I am facing the other way and she sees immediately what I am going to do.

"Are you ok with this?" I ask, totally aware that I've never had her pinned to the bed like this before.

She nods and licks her lips.

"Eva answer me," I say, I need to hear her words, I never want to take her further than she can comfortably go or frighten her.

"I'm fine now give me your dick," she says and lifts her hand up to direct me into her mouth, I look around and carefully lower myself into her waiting mouth then I push her legs apart and bury my face between them one more. The intensity of my tongue probing her makes her gasp and I can feel her building once more, but I pause just to satisfy myself she is ok. We have never had oral sex like this before with me on top of her, we have done it the other way around and also side by side.

That memory of us side by side on the plane when we went to the Caribbean fills my mind when she played with my ass, the first time anyone had been there since... I was not sure, to begin with, but that time exorcised a few demons for me, it makes me recall something Eva once said to me, how she believed my touch could erase Nathans and I want that with her, and the desire for her to touch me there again fills me.

I suddenly pull away and she stares at me in shock.

"Wait," I say and I climb off the bed and disappear into the bathroom and into the cabinet where I find some lotion similar to the lotion Eva used on the plane. I pick it up and stare at it for a long moment.

"Gideon?"

I turn and Eva has joined me, she looks worried, and then her eyes drop to the lotion in my hand.

"I thought... maybe…" I begin, holding it up towards her.

She realises immediately what I am trying to say, she steps closer and wraps her arms around me.

"You want me inside you Ace?" she asks as she gently strokes my arm, offering me reassurance.

I swallow hard and then nod.

She wordlessly takes the lotion from me and then holds out her other hand to lead me back to the bedroom. I hesitate a moment and then place my hand in hers and allow her to lead me back to the bed.

"I want this," I whisper, "I want your love to erase Hugh's touch, like you say I do for you," I say.

Eva looks at me with such deep profound love in her eyes.

"I can do that, I can make you feel so good, just like you did on the plane, there will be no pain, nothing bad and you say stop and I will stop," she says.

I nod and we climb on to the bed.

"How do you want to do this?" she asks me.

"How we were before," I say immediately and she nods and lays herself on the bed. I carefully return to the position I was in before and she sucks hard on my dick even though it hadn't softened at all.

"Oh God Eva" I moan as I feel her lips and tongue surround my dick and I once more push my head between her legs and my tongue laps at her clit.

I feel her let go of my dick and she speaks to me.

"I'm just warming the lotion on my fingers ok?" she says.

"Yes," I whisper filled with apprehension and anxiety at what is going to happen.

Then I feel her hand caress my ass I stiffen and she soothes me by stroking my balls and dick with her other hand.

"It's ok, I'm going to make you feel so good, just like before," she says.

I feel her finger caress me... there, as she smears the lotion on me and I take a sharp breath in, but she doesn't do anything and I know she is waiting for me to push out for her. I try and relax and a moment later I feel the pressure of her finger on my ass, and then I feel her slowly slide inside.

I let out a groan, not the feral terrified sound I made on the plane and this time I wasn't immediately engulfed by unpleasant memories, this time I recalled the last time Eva did this with me, she did it with me – not to me, I had participated, I had consented to it, I wanted it, just like I want it now, I _want_ her to do this, as I think this I start to enjoy the sensation of her finger rhythmically pushing in and out, my dick is so hard and throbbing with need.

"Suck me Angel, suck me hard" I demand.

I immediately feel her lips and tongue capture my dick and she moves her mouth slowly up and down my dick she can't take too much of me or she will choke and I start to instinctively move my hips but I am mindful not to lose control so that I thrust too far into her mouth.

"Fuck Angel that feels so good," I hiss as I lose myself in the array of sensation bombarding me.

I feel her moving with purpose now, she wants me to come, she is touching that part inside my ass which makes me want to come more than anything, I feel my balls draw up and my dick twitches lengthening and thickening, Eva feels it too and sucks on me with deep drawing pulls, and as the first spurt of come erupts from me she presses that spot deep inside and I see stars, I try and hold it together so I can bring her to another climax which I think I just about manage to do just before my head feels as though it is being taken off with the intense pleasure that surges through me.

"FUCK EVA, JESUS CHRIST!" I yell and I go rigid as the orgasm rips through me, I hear her choking and she pulls away but I am still coming thick and fast and I know she has probably just got a face full of my come.

I quickly turn myself around and scoop Eva up into my arms not caring that she is a complete mess and my lips crash down onto hers I can taste myself all over her and it is so erotic knowing that I have marked her in this way. I am not sobbing in her arms this time around, I am totally drained from the orgasm and once again a feeling of calm serenity settles within me.

"Let's take a shower," I say quietly and I stand and lead her to the bathroom on very shaky legs.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

After our shower and we have had dinner we are both lying across the sofa just relaxing in each other's arms, the TV is on but neither of us is watching it, we are just lying together enjoying each other. I am lying behind Eva and my arm is wrapped securely around her and my hand is laid protectively on her stomach, this is nice. I think about the bag containing the book of notes which Anne gave me and I glance across at the other sofa where it is still lying when I flung it there after I came in.

I feel Eva shift and she pats my hand, "Are we going to discuss the elephant in the room?" she asks, almost as if she knew that I had started thinking about the journals.

"I don't see an elephant," I murmur and kiss her softly.

She shifts so she can look back at me and as her gaze meets mine and I know immediately that she is indeed referring to the bag of notes.

"I do Ace, a big one just over there," she says and points.

I swallow hard but don't say anything.

"What are you planning to do with them?" she asks.

"Read them and then burn them," I say.

She nods, "do you want to read them alone, or do you want me with you or maybe take them to a therapy session?" she says.

I consider that and then I look across at them once more, "I'd like you to be with me when I read them," I say.

"That's fine," she says "Do you want to do it now?" she adds after a few moments.

No, I don't, but I don't want them over there staring at me any longer either.

"Ok," I say quietly and with that Eva moves and frees herself and goes to fetch the bag, I sit up and she sits beside me holding the bag.

"We do this together, we know this will be lies and it will be hard but just remember he can't hurt you anymore," she says.

I take the bag from her and open it, inside is a journal type notepad and I let it drop out, my breathing has increased and Eva reaches for me and strokes my arm gently as if she is trying to calm me down.

"Together," she says and she places her hand over mine.

**oooOOOooo**

"Shit!" I say when we have finished nearly three hours later, it was a harrowing experience, and his notes on me read like he was constructing some sort of profile to use as evidence, if charges were pressed against him.

"He certainly was one fucked up son of a bitch," Eva says as she still sits close.

"It also explains why Christopher hates you so much, he said that your parents were concerned that you were going to kill Christopher, if he told Christopher that then it's no wonder he lied to your mother when she asked him if he had heard anything or seen anything, he was a little kid Gideon, just like you were and if that asshole got into his head".

I stop and think about that, it had been Christopher's denial that anything had happened that had been my mother's justification for believing Lucas over me, he had denied seeing or hearing anything despite the fact I am certain he had actually heard me screaming for help on one occasion.

"His hatred of me goes way beyond normal sibling rivalry, so that is a very good question, but I can't go to him and ask him, he wouldn't listen to me, he wouldn't give me the time of day," I say.

"I could," she says, and I look at her and see the fierce tigress in my wife looming once more, she is leaping to my defence and she wants to make Christopher aware that his lifelong held opinion of me is wrong.

I shake my head, "No Angel I think there is only one person who could do that" I say.

"Who?" she asks.

"Chris, he needs to do it because if Hugh told Christopher that his parents were afraid I would kill him, then he needs a parent to tell him that that was not the case, he wouldn't believe it from anyone else," I say.

Eva reaches for the phone and holds it out to me, "Then call Chris and ask him to do it, you need to do this Gideon, you need to heal every aspect of your life," she says firmly.

"I don't know," I say, staring at the phone as if it will bite me.

Eva smiles, "If I know Chris, as well as I think I do, he would be horrified to think anything like that had happened and he would want it putting right, and just think of the knock-on effects it would have, Christopher would no longer behave like an asshole regarding Vidal Records, trying to constantly undermine you, and you wouldn't have to worry that he would try and manipulate any of your friends anymore," she stops and I know she is referring to the way he used Magdalene.

Eva shrugs, "It might even have the knock-on effect of bringing your mother around, I'm not saying it will, but it might," she says.

I think for a moment weighing up the pros and cons and then I reach for the phone that Eva is holding out to me and before I can talk myself out of it, or over thinking it any further, I dial Chris's number and wait.

"Hello" I close my eyes at the sound of my stepfather's voice.

I clear my throat, "Erm Hi... it's me, Gideon," I say.

The sound of the sharp intake of breath makes me wince, despite our closer relationship recently, I have never called him before out of office hours.

"Hello Gideon, are you alright?" he says warily, I can tell by his voice he is wondering why I am calling.

"Erm... I was wondering... I... I..." I stop unable to get the words out.

"What do you need Gideon, tell me?" he asks kindly.

"Could you come over, to the penthouse, I have something I need to discuss with you... please?" I say and I wait.

There is a pause, "Of course I can, can I ask what it's about?" he asks.

"Erm... it's personal," I say, not really wanting to go into detail on the phone.

"Ok, give me half an hour and I'll be with you," he says.

"Thank you" I reply and kill the call, I look at Eva, "he's coming over," I say.

I stand and call the desk to let them know Chris is coming and to allow him straight up and we sit down and wait.

It is about 20 minutes later the doorbell rings and Eva stands and goes to answer it and a few minutes later she returns with Chris at her side, he looks tired and worried. I immediately stand and offer him my hand and he hesitates giving me a slightly exasperated look and then he grabs it and pulls me into a hug.

"I think we are beyond a formal handshake Gideon," he whispers, and then he looks directly at me, searching my expression for some clue as to why I called him.

"At least I hoped we were, what's wrong Gideon? Is this about Ireland finding out? Because I can't apologise enough for that, I had no idea she was there," he says.

"No, it's not that, but how is she?" I ask.

Chris smiles, "She is fine, honestly. She is outraged on your behalf and she is moving in with me," he says.

I am shocked at that, and I realise that my mother has been comprehensively disowned by her husband and daughter because... they believe me! I feel as though I can't breathe for a moment and Eva reaches for me and grabs my hand.

"Hey come on," she whispers to me.

I quickly pull myself together and remember why I asked Chris to come here. I turn and fetch the journal.

Chris watches me carefully not commenting until I return with the notebook in my hand.

"Why don't we sit down?" Eva says and she moves towards the sofas and we both obediently follow her.

"What's this about Gideon, you seem very... I don't know, worried about something?" Chris says.

The compassion in his eyes is killing me and I am struggling with this and Eva can see it and she quickly steps in.

"Gideon met with Anne Lucas today, and as you know she is the wife of Dr Lucas and it was her brother who abused Gideon, after I went to see her and told her about her husband and what he did, she came to see and listen to the evidence we had gathered from our visit with him. She brought Gideon this book, it is the patient notes that Hugh made when he was abusing Gideon, it is all a complete pack of lies, but there were some interesting points he made regarding Christopher".

I watch and see Chris's face blanch, "You don't think he abused Christopher as well do you?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No, the joint therapy sessions with Christopher always happened with the lady therapist and he only saw Christopher alone on a couple of occasions, as far as I can remember, but I really don't think he did anything to him," I stop.

"Can you be sure?" Chris asks.

I snort, "On the couple of occasions he saw Christopher alone it was always after me and he never had anything left in him after he was done with me," I say bitterly.

"Christ" Chris hisses and he lowers his head and closes his eyes.

Eva leans forward, "but he has made some interesting comments in his notes, about what you and Elizabeth allegedly said to him, about Gideon."

Chris's head whips up at this and he stares at Eva, "I never spoke to the man, I helped to engage the therapist, but it was Elizabeth who had all the dealing with them," he says.

Eva smiles, "then what he wrote is very interesting, he said and I quote" she says pulling the book from my hands, and flipping through the pages until she finds the part she wants to read, "_I spoke with the stepfather again today and once again he expressed his concern that his biological son, Christopher, was in mortal danger from Gideon and his erratic behaviour and violent outbursts, he once again maintained that he was afraid for his sons safety, and that his stepson was totally out of control_," she stops and I turn to Chris who is sitting there wide eyed and shaking his head violently.

"Lies, it's all lies Gideon, I swear to you I never said anything to him, I never met the man," he protests.

I hold my hand up, "I know its lies, you only have to read what he wrote about me, the point we are making here is – what if he peddled those lies to Christopher? Put the idea in his head that I wanted to kill him, it would explain a lot if he did," I say.

Chris stares at me, "what are you saying?" he asks.

I give him an 'oh come on' look, "Christopher hates me, and always has done, that hatred manifested itself _after_ the therapy sessions, and grew and developed from that point onwards, part of my mother's proof that I was lying about the abuse, is due to the fact she questioned Christopher and he told her nothing happened, when I know for a fact he heard me screaming for help on at least one occasion, it's not just sibling rivalry with him, he tries to undermine and destroy everything I have, he used Magdalene, he tried to use Eva, and when she didn't fall for it he tried to use Brett Kline's previous relationship with her to try and split us up," I say.

Chris looks shocked and shakes his head, to which Eva sighs and pulls her own phone from her pocket and I look to see what she is searching for, and then she finds the message Cary sent her, with the video recording of Christopher and Maggie at my mother's party.

"I warn you, this is not pretty, but it proves he was using Magdalene to try and get at Gideon," she says and she presses play and hands her phone to Chris, I watch his face as he watches the footage Cary captured, I am thankful now that I hadn't deleted it from Eva's phone when I had pulled it to show Magdalene.

"This was at the garden party your mother held," he says pointing at the phone, I see the disgust on his face as the footage goes on, in the end, he stops it and hands the phone back to Eva.

"What has he done to you?" he asks her, his voice tight.

I watch as Eva sighs, "first of all he came on to me, all friendly as though he was a nice guy, but Gideon warned me about him and what he was really like, but he knows about the fact I had a sort of relationship with Brett Kline back in the day, when they were unknown, we all came from San Diego and knew each other, but it ended years ago. I think from some things Elizabeth has said which could only have come from Christopher, he told her about it and made out there was more to it than there actually was, and that it was still going on, that I was seeing him behind Gideon's back, and he also knows about... he knows..." she stops and as I see her getting increasingly distressed, I quickly step in and wrap my arm around her.

"Eva wasn't in a good place when she and Kline were together, she was going through a phase in her life where she was quite out of control and rebellious, and during this time a video was recorded of her with Kline – sexually, it was recorded without her knowledge or consent, that footage came to light recently, and I have handled it and prevented it coming out, but Christopher became aware of it, and he tried to persuade Kline to help get its existence known – he said for publicity for the band, but in reality, I believe it was to try and drive a wedge between Eva and me, but it didn't work.

Chris stands with his mouth open, "I had no idea, no wonder Eva was so shocked at the Golden video when it was debuted in Times Square, she looked shattered, I'm so sorry, if I had known I would never have sanctioned it, but Christopher handled it all," he stops and shakes his head.

"Look, I don't want anything from Christopher except maybe an apology for Eva for his part in the video and whatever he said to our mother about her which has undoubtedly coloured her opinion of my wife, but I feel he deserves to know that if he had his mind played with as a child and that if he believes I want him dead, then that belief was planted there by a sick bastard who should never have been allowed near him, and not by anything I did" I say.

Chris nods and points at the book, "May I see that?" he asks, I hesitate and then hand it over.

"It's all lies, every word he wrote," I say fervently, as there is a small part of me which believes that once he reads that he will turn away from me and our new found relationship will be lost.

"Chris nods, "I know that Gideon, you don't have to worry, I won't believe it I just need to see for myself what he wrote, what lies he said about my son."

I nod, "he didn't actually say much about Christopher, because he only saw him alone on a couple of occasions, those notes are predominantly about me," I say and Chris smiles.

"I was talking about you Gideon," he says.

**oooOOOooo**

I am in my office the next day engrossed in my work. I am taking a rare free moment to look at a spreadsheet of all my assets and their profitability to see what I want to keep and what I can offload now that I am seriously thinking of downscaling my business, the idea has popped into my head a few times, and now has taken root and grown since I first considered it, and I am just making some notes on my extensive portfolio when the intercom buzzes.

"Yes, Scott," I say, I glance at my watch, my next appointment isn't for ten minutes, so if they are early they can damn well wait.

"Mr Cross I have Mr Vidal here asking to see you," he says.

"Show him in" I say.

I look up from my screen and I see it is Christopher standing waiting and not Chris, I stiffen as he opens the door and I immediately stand up, and I am waiting for the onslaught of abuse I usually get from him. I reach and press the button to frost the glass, I'm not going to give my employees a free show.

"What do you want Christopher?" I ask curtly.

"May I sit down?" he asks.

I am shocked by his tone, he sounds shattered and wary, he has never spoken to me so politely, ever, and it sets me on edge.

I point to the seat in front of my desk, I don't want to take him over to one of the seating areas, I need the physical distance between us, and my desk gives me that.

I watch as Christopher sits down and clasps his hands in front of him.

"Dad came to see me last night, quite late" he says.

I sit down, realising immediately what this is about, "Oh?" I say.

"He showed me a book thing, which was from the time when you and I were in therapy, I barely have any memory of that time," he says.

Lucky you, I think as I nod again and I swallow hard and wait for him to continue.

"But I have always had this belief that you wanted me dead, so after what dad said last night and what I read in that bastards notes, I am guessing that is where that notion came from," he says

I nod but don't say anything, I feel my heart constricting, Christopher is realising that everything he believed about me all his life is wrong.

"Dad explained to me that he had never even met that guy, so there is no way he could have told him what he said he did," he says.

I nod again, and wait, the silence spreads out between us and I watch as Christopher fidgets slightly in the chair then he looks up at me once more.

"I came to say that we are reshooting the Golden video," he says and my eyebrows rise in shock at that piece of information, not only the fact it is happening, because as a rule, you don't do that, it is costly and a course of action to be avoided, but I'm also surprised at the swift change of subject, it's almost as though Christopher had no idea what to say to me and so moved to neutral territory.

"Alright, has Chris sanctioned this decision?" I ask.

Christopher nods, "it was his decision, he told me that we were doing it and after what he said, I agreed," he says.

"Alright," I say and wait, as the silence spreads out between us.

"I have a memory which I need to ask you about?" Christopher says suddenly and in a rush.

I feel my hands ball into fists, "go on" I say.

"I remember our mother coming to me and questioning me, asking me if anything untoward happened during the therapy sessions if I ever saw or heard anything which didn't seem right," he says.

I swallow hard and nod unable to speak.

"I remember that I told her nothing had happened" he says and he looks guiltily at me, "but it was a lie, I do remember one occasion where I heard you yelling and screaming for help and telling someone to get off, but I lied to her and told her I'd heard nothing" he says.

"Where is this going, Christopher?" I ask.

I watch as he looks at me, he licks his lips nervously and shuffles in his seat, "dad told me last night what had happened to you, and he told me that he was supporting you now that he knew about it, he told me he had only just found out recently and he was trying to help you with it," he stops again.

I nod, "He is, Eva is also helping me, she helped me realise that not all therapists are monsters and rapists and I have a good therapist now who is working with me, in fact I have a number of people who believe me now," I say in a matter of fact tone.

I see Christopher wince as I say this and then he nods, "Dad said he had been with you to one of your therapy sessions, he didn't say anything, of course, he just said he'd been with you, and I was wondering... if... if you could give me your therapists name, as I feel I now have a lot of shit I need to work through and say after learning all this" he says.

I nod and reach into my pocket and pull out Dr Petersen's card and hand it to Christopher.

"Thank you" he says and as he looks at the card and turns it over in his hand he speaks again, "Also… I was wondering… Could I come with you to one of your sessions as well… like dad did?" he asks and I realise this is his way of apologising for the years of hatred between us.

"I don't see why not," I say carefully, "my next appointment is next Tuesday, but Eva and I go for couples therapy every Thursday, so I'll mention it tonight that you may be accompanying me at some point," I say.

Christopher nods, "thank you," he says.

"I called on Eva this morning at your apartment," he says and that puts me on alert she hasn't contacted me to tell me that, I know she is at home today waiting for all her belongings to arrive from the Upper West Side apartment.

"Oh?" I say as it's all I can manage to get out.

He nods, "I apologised to her for using her to try and get at you, I told her we are reshooting the Golden video and I apologised for... everything, we had a long chat," he says.

"My wife is a good person, very forgiving," I say.

Christopher nods, "she is, you are a lucky man," he says.

"I know I am," I say and I smile unconsciously as I think of my wife.

"Look, I'm sorry ok, I know it doesn't make up for all the shit I've done over the years, and everything I have said and done, but I'm sorry, I'm just fucking sorry for all of it," he blurts out in a rush.

I watch him as he visibly falls apart in front of me and before I know what I am doing I am standing and rounding my desk and pulling him up into my arms and slapping his back, he freezes for a moment and then responds, as he does so I close my eyes.

"I forgive you," I whisper and as I say those words a feel another piece of my past slipping away.

**oooOOOooo**

_Earlier, at the Fifth Avenue apartment..._

**(EVA)**

I am just about ready for everything to be delivered today, I mentally go through my checklist so far, I had got up this morning and suffered through my now ritual bout of vomiting where I had knelt on the bathroom floor and chucked my guts up for about ten minutes.

I smile as I recall Gideon, who stoically sat with me holding my hair back and offering what comfort and support he could, telling me how much he loved me all the while I suffered. He is getting good at saying those words now and I always love to hear them from him.

After I had recovered from that, Gideon had taken me into the shower and we had participated in our usual morning routine of washing each other and giving each other several mind-blowing orgasms.

Gideon was in good spirits this morning after Chris's visit last night, I think when Chris called him 'his son' that had stunned him, he had never realised that Chris had always considered him as 'his son'. He had promised Gideon he would talk to Christopher and he has asked if he had Gideon's permission to tell Christopher what had happened to him, Gideon had reluctantly agreed on the condition that he didn't go into detail. Which makes me wonder what exactly Chris now knows after their mutual therapy session, whatever he knows, I am just glad that Gideon is opening up and sharing.

I am just loading the dishwasher when the intercom buzzes.

"Hello," I say.

"Hello Mrs Cross, it is James at the front desk I have a Christopher Vidal here asking to speak with you," he says.

"Christopher?" I ask "as in Christopher Vidal Junior?" I ask wanting clarification of who exactly is down there.

"Yes ma'am" James replies.

I hesitate and then tell him to send him up.

A few moments later the doorbell chimes I take a deep breath and answer it, I am shocked at Christopher's demeanour, gone is the arrogant and cocky young man, in his place is someone who looks like his whole world has just fallen apart, and I realise that in his mind it probably has if Chris went and told him that everything he believed about his brother was wrong.

"This is a surprise," I say and step aside to gesture for him to come in.

"Thank you Eva," he says as he steps inside.

I lead him to the living room and point to the sofa, he sits down awkwardly perching on the edge of the sofa, he is looking around the apartment taking it all in and I wonder if he has ever been here before.

"Do you want a drink?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "No thank you" he says quietly.

I sit down opposite him, "What do you want, Gideon isn't here," I say.

"No, it's you I came to see, I came to apologise for my behaviour, I had no idea, I should never... I'm sorry" he says.

"Ok?" I say and lean back, "What exactly are you sorry for?" I ask.

He leans forward and clasps his hands in front of him and stares at them, "I told my mother some lies about you, which I shouldn't have, about you and Brett, because I wanted to cause trouble between you and Gideon, you should also know we are reshooting the Golden video, and I'm sorry for pushing the love story angle so hard, I only did it to hurt Gideon and to try and drive a wedge between you two, and I failed to realise I was hurting you in the process," he says.

I swallow hard, and ask the one question which I need answering, "Did you watch the footage Sam Yimara had of Brett and me?" I ask.

Christopher shakes his head, "No, I didn't, I knew of it and Yimara tried to sell it to me, I was going to get it but I think Yimara got greedy and tried to organise some kind of auction for it, which is when Gideon heard about it and got in there and got the injunction in place to stop him selling it, so I switched tack and tried to get Brett to agree to use the knowledge of its existence instead, I tried talking him around, saying that it was a great marketing angle with the love story between you guys, but he said he wouldn't do anything without your consent, as he never intended for the footage to come out, I never told him that Yimara wanted it to come out and was planning on selling it anyway".

He stops and shakes his head, "I'm sorry" he says.

"Ok," I say relieved that he hadn't seen the footage of me with Brett and now never would.

"I was blinkered, all I wanted to do was hurt Gideon, it's all I have ever wanted to do, I have spent my entire life always trying to gain the upper hand with my brother and get one over on him or try and hurt him in some way," he says sadly.

I smile at him, "Christopher, Gideon is not your enemy and he never was, I take it you have spoken with your father?" I say.

Christopher looks up at that and nods.

"Chris was here last night, and we made him aware of some things which were written about Gideon which were untrue, and we suspected from what was written that you had also been told these things by the same person," I say.

Christopher nods again, "the therapist, the guy who said those things, was he... did he?" he stops.

"He raped Gideon," I say.

"I had no idea, this has made me look at everything throughout my childhood, dad and I talked for a long time last night and he told me how he had only just found out about it all, he said how you are encouraging Gideon to let go of everything in his past and are helping him," he says.

I nod, "The problem is Gideon wasn't believed, it wasn't his fault, none of it was his fault and he did the right thing and reached out and sought help but he wasn't believed, and as a result of other peoples lies he was then alienated from his family, and has had to live with what happened to him alone, it's left him with a lot of issues which he is only now dealing with and facing," I say.

"My lies," Christopher says sadly, "I told our mother nothing had happened to him when I do remember one time he was screaming and yelling whilst in a therapy session," he says.

I shake my head, "You were a child Christopher, you were quite a bit younger than Gideon at that point, you had no idea what could possibly have happened" I say.

"No, but I could have told my mother the truth, I heard him screaming and shouting, he was yelling for help and he was pleading with someone to stop and that it hurt, that is not normal, I should have told my mother that... but I didn't," he says.

"Christopher, you are not to blame either, you were in a dysfunctional home, your older stepbrother had issues with things he had previously witnessed and had to deal with, and you were a child, and my guess is you thought he got all the attention, am I right?" I say and Christopher nods.

"You didn't know any better, in your mind you were getting one up on Gideon, you had no idea how serious it was, the paediatrician who lied to your mother though, that was another matter entirely," I say.

"Dad told me about that" Christopher says.

"Since last night I have been through everything I can remember with a fine tooth comb, I don't have many clear memories but I realise now I must have been told something, the thought must have been put into my mind, as I have always had this belief that Gideon hated me and wanted me dead, and so I grew to hate him, then as he got more and more successful and people used me to get to him the resentment from that grew which made me want to always get the upper hand with him and I started using other people to try and hurt him."

I move and sit next to him, he is clearly in turmoil about this, I touch his arm gently, "Look I forgive you for what you did to me, I suggest that you also contact Magdalene and apologise to her as well," I say.

Christopher looks up in shock at that.

I shrug apologetically, "My friend Cary caught you and her in a compromising situation at the garden party your mother hosted, and he videoed the conversation you had with her and the other stuff and sent it to me with a warning to keep away from you, I showed it to Gideon and he told Magdalene and warned her about you, you should also know that your father has also seen it," I say.

Christopher puts his head in his hands, "Shit" he breathes.

I squeeze his arm, "Look for what it's worth, I think you have just had the rug pulled out from under you, you have been forcibly made to realise that everything you have believed as truth your entire life is wrong, and all your actions over the years as a result of that belief have you now feeling a profound sense of guilt, that is massive and you need to talk to someone about it or it will eat away at you and destroy you completely, I have a great respect for therapy it has helped me through the issues I've had in my life, and even Gideon is now seeing the benefit of it, and as you can appreciate he was more than cynical when it came to the psychiatric profession after what happened to him".

"Gideon sees a therapist?" Christopher asks raising his head up and I nod. "Even after..." he trails off

"He does, and he is teaching Gideon that therapy can be a good thing," I say.

"I really have to go and see Gideon, and apologise to him... for everything," Christopher says, he looks at me helplessly, "But I have no idea where to start," he says.

I smile, "Just go to his office, and ask to see him, that's the first step, he can only say no, if he does then you try again, but I don't think he will say no," I say.

"What do I say to him?" he asks.

I shrug, "Start off by telling him that you are reshooting the Golden video, that will get his attention, he is the majority shareholder of Vidal Records, and then take it from there," I say.

I watch as he considers this and resolve and determination fills his face, "yeah I will, thanks" he says.

"No problem," I say. "You also had a problem with Gideon being the primary shareholder didn't you?" I say.

Christopher nods, "I did, I didn't listen to my dad when he told me that Gideon only did what he did to stop the company from going under, and that he was helping us, I just assumed he wanted his hands on my inheritance and the fact he took Ireland's shares from my mother to gain overall control confirmed that fact for me."

"Gideon had seen his mother go through one financial meltdown and even though they were estranged he didn't want to see her go through another one, he had the resources and so he stepped in to help," I say.

Christopher nods, "I think I'm beginning to see that now," he says.

"Just go and talk to him," I urge.

Christopher stands up suddenly, "thank you, Eva," he says and he holds out his hand to me.

I smile and take it and pull him into a brief hug. "Gideon isn't the monster you believe him to be, and if you two just sit down and talk to each other I'm certain only positive things can come of it," I say.

I pull away and watch as I see the hope flare in his eyes at that thought and he nods at me. "Thank you and once again, I am so sorry for everything I did to you," he says.

I wave my hand, "apology accepted, now go and see your brother," I say.

As I see him to the door the intercom buzzes again and I quickly answer.

"Mrs Cross, I'm just calling to let you know as you requested that the removal men have arrived with your belongings and they are on their way up now," James says.

"Excellent, thank you James," I say and hang up.

"I'll be off then," Christopher says, and walks towards the elevator which opens as he reaches it, he steps aside as an army of men carrying boxes spill out.

I beam at them, "Hi guys! Just put them down inside there" I say pointing, they do as I ask and as they return to fetch the next lot I look up, "thanks," I say and they nod at me. I return my attention to Christopher.

"Goodbye Christopher and thank you for stopping by, I appreciate it," I say, he nods at me and then disappears as the elevator doors close.

A while later and I have distributed all my belongings around the apartment, I have placed my books alongside Gideon's on the bookshelf and I have put the framed photographs of me and my family around, it occurs to me that Gideon doesn't have anything like that around apart from the collage he has on his study wall and they are all photographs of me and us. It reminds me of the photograph he told me about of him and his father and I make a mental note to try and get a copy of it. An idea quickly forms in my head and I pull out my phone.

"Chris," I say as Gideon's stepfather answers, I quickly decide not to mention Christopher's visit as I don't want to get Chris's hopes up of reconciliation between Gideon and Christopher.

"Eva, how are you?" he asks.

"I'm good, busy reorganising the penthouse at the moment, all my belongings have arrived from my old apartment and I am in the process of taking over, which leads me on to my reason for calling, I have a favour I need to ask," I say.

"Oh?" he says.

"Photographs," I say decisively.

"Photographs? What sort of photographs? Chris asks in confusion.

"Of Gideon," I say.

"Erm... yes of course," he says, I can tell he is confused as to why I want them, and so I quickly explain.

"I have a lot of family photographs in frames which are now up in the Penthouse, but Gideon has nothing, not one, and I was thinking it might be nice if he had some as well," I say.

I pause and then approach the delicate question of the photograph Gideon had previously told me about. "He mentioned to me a while ago that his mother had a photograph of him with his father on a beach or something, he said at the time he would get it for me to see and I was wondering if there were any other photographs of Gideon as a child with his family – not only with his father but with you as well?" I ask.

"There is a family album, and I think Elizabeth has another one with some of Gideon with Geoffrey in as well, I can get them for you, but I will tell you now, there isn't that many of Gideon, he wasn't one for posing for family photographs and then he left home fairly early, he left to go to college and never came back, we know why now, and also he never really participated in family activities where photographs were taken, again we know why now, but I'm sure there may be something of interest for you" he says, "I'm going to see Elizabeth today anyway so I'll get it for you and drop it off later," he says.

"Thank you," I say, I hesitate for a moment, "Are you going to discuss with Elizabeth the findings in that journal Hugh wrote?" I ask.

"I am," he says.

I swallow hard, "Gideon can't take any more rejection from his mother, so don't tell him until after you've done it, I don't want his hopes raised only for them to be dashed again," I say.

"I think that's very wise, I feel Elizabeth feels a profound sense of guilt for her actions, she has been forcibly made to realise that Gideon was telling the truth all along, and she has chosen to be in denial about it rather than face that she made the wrong decision, and that will only be compounded more by this, I am also going to tell her what Christopher said to me, how he admitted he had lied to her about what he heard at that time, and I know that will hit her hard, as it seems from what she has said to me since all this came out, that she has always held up Christopher's denial of wrongdoing as validation for her actions".

I sigh, "I didn't set out to cause trouble you know, I only wanted the truth out so that Gideon could heal," I say.

"No Eva, you have done nothing wrong, you have been the best thing to happen to Gideon in his entire life, and that is no idle boast, you believed him unconditionally, you have helped him face and start to exorcise his demons and you've encouraged him to talk about what happened to him, without fear of rejection and to reach out, and you have brought about a reconnection with him and his sister and with me which I can't thank you enough for," he says.

I let out an embarrassed laugh, "You'll make my head swell" I say flippantly.

I hear Chris laugh, "Every word is true Eva," he says kindly.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

It is mid-afternoon when the doorbell rings and I wonder who is calling, I get up and open the door and I am surprised to see Chris standing there holding a bag which he offers to me.

"Oh Chris, come in," I say in surprise.

Chris smiles and steps in, "I'm sorry the desk didn't call up to warn you, I was here, I was just as shocked, when they waved me straight up without checking first, apparently Gideon has put my name on the list of people who are allowed straight up without a call," he says.

"Has he?" I say I can't help but smile as that thought makes me really happy.

We go in and sit down, I offer Chris a drink and he politely declines, but he clearly has something to say.

"That's the family photo album and the particular photograph you asked for of Gideon with his father is in the separate smaller album" he explains, I look in the bag and see two photograph albums.

"Thank you," I say and set the bag aside although I am itching to look through it. "How did it go with Elizabeth?" I ask nervously.

"Badly" he says with a sigh, "She said that Christopher had called her and he told her that what he had said to her as a child was a lie, and that he did hear Gideon crying out for help, but all it's done is send her further into a pit of denial, I went with the journal and pointed out all the lies that man had said I had told him, and I asked her if anything which he had written about conversations with her were accurate, she read them and denied ever saying anything like what was written in those pages, which I think made her realise what he had done, but all she seemed to be concerned about was the fact he had written lies about her and what she had allegedly said, but it hasn't made her realise just how wrong her actions were, or if it has she didn't show it."

I shake my head, "If only she just realises that if she stood up and acknowledged the fact she was wrong instead of continually denying it and just apologised to Gideon and told him she believed him... it wouldn't make everything alright, but it would go a long way to healing the pain and the rift," I say.

Chris nods, "I told her that today, whether she chooses to listen is another matter though," he says.

After talking a while longer, my attention is drawn once more to the bag, I open it and Chris moves to sit next to me.

"Oh wow!" I say as I open the album and the first picture I am confronted with is a very young Gideon sitting holding a tiny baby in his arms.

"That's Christopher he is holding," Chris says wistfully.

I look at it, the love in Gideon's eyes as he looks at his baby brother makes me want to do something, and so I pull my phone out and take a photo of it.

"What's Christopher's cell phone number?" I ask and Chris realises what I am going to do, he tells me and I send a text to Christopher along with the photograph.

_**Hi Christopher it's Eva, here is some undeniable proof that Gideon didn't want you dead from the moment you were born x**_

I send the text and a few moments later my phone buzzes.

_**Wow, I have no idea what to say, thank you for this Eva, Christopher x**_

I go through both the albums and quickly make a note of the photographs I want a copy of, including the one of Gideon on the beach with his father.

"How long can I keep these?" I ask.

"Keep them as long as you like, when you are done just give them to me and I'll send them back to Elizabeth," Chris says.

"Thank you," I say.

**oooOOOooo**

By the time Gideon and I get home from our couples therapy where I had learnt that Christopher had followed through and gone to see Gideon after he had been to me, and with everything else we had talked about I had forgotten how I had taken over his apartment today and how I now have several photographs of him with his family in frames scattered around.

I had taken the ones I had chosen from the album to a store, where they copied the originals for me and in some cases enlarged them and I had then bought some frames and dotted them around on the shelves and cabinets.

I had gone to the Crossfire to meet Gideon and we had gone from there to our therapy session so this is the first time he has seen what I have done, I watch his reaction as he walks into the living room and spots them. I wait, second-guessing myself for what I have done.

At first he freezes completely, and then dropping his jacket on the sofa he walks slowly towards the shelf, I notice the photograph that he first zeros in on is the one of him on the beach with his father, he picks it up and stares at it, before placing it carefully down where I had put it. He then looks at one of me with my dad which I had placed near it, taken when I had first gone to live with him.

I hold my breath as he picks up the photograph of him holding a baby Christopher and he looks carefully at it before he puts it down again. He hasn't said a word, he just methodically makes his way around the room looking at every framed photograph which I have put out, I notice tiny smiles appear on his face at all the ones of me with my family but he is totally emotionless at the ones I have picked and had framed of him with his family, I was careful with my selection, I only picked photographs of times where he looked genuinely happy, I knew the abuse started when he was about 11/12ish so I deliberately picked photographs taken before that time, I had the notes written on the pages of the albums to guide me.

There is one of him with Elizabeth in Central Park where she is sitting on a blanket with a baby on her lap who I assume is Christopher, and Gideon is standing at her side with his arm around her shoulder and she is looking at her elder son, and there is love and affection in her eyes. There is another of Gideon riding a bicycle and Chris is also on a bicycle riding at his side and as Gideon rides towards the camera he has a huge smile on his face and Chris is laughing. I had placed that next to one where Geoffrey Cross is photographed with a much younger Gideon holding onto a bicycle which Gideon is learning to ride. There is one of Gideon with a young Christopher who is clearly just learning to walk, and Gideon is standing and holding him and guiding him. He stops at a portrait style photograph which was clearly professionally taken of him with Elizabeth and Geoffrey, they all look happy and relaxed and every inch a typical wealthy American family.

I stand and I wait, I'm not going to apologise for doing this but I can understand this must be very overwhelming for him but he had encouraged me to put my stamp on the apartment telling me it was my home too, so I have done, I just hope I haven't gone too far.

Eventually, after he has looked at every single one he turns and looks at me, the love in his eyes makes me sag with relief, at least he's not angry at what I did and I wait for him to speak.

"Where did you get all these?" he asks.

I smile, "I called Chris and asked for his help and he went to your mother and got them for me, I have the albums over there and I picked out the ones I particularly liked and went to that photography shop a few blocks away and got them copied and framed," I explain pointing towards the albums stacked on the coffee table.

He nods in understanding, "There are plenty more if you want to pick some out that you like too," I say encouraged by his acceptance of what I have done.

"Come here Eva," he says and holds open his arms.

I don't hesitate and walk into them, his strong powerful arms fold around me, and he kisses the top of my head, "you are amazing you do know that don't you?" he says quietly.

"I was a little bit worried wondering how you'd react when you saw them, I've kind of taken over a bit," I say as I look around at my handiwork.

"You've made it a real home at last," he says quietly as he clings on to me, "thank you" he adds.

"What else have you done?" he asks as he looks around the room, and I quickly show him my nick-nacks that I have placed around the room intermingled with his, and my books which now take up a whole shelf of his bookcase. I lead him to the closet where I have organised all my stuff to hang alongside his and I hear him take a sharp breath in as he sees this.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" I ask nervously.

His arms immediately enfold me once more, "No Angel you have done everything right, seeing your clothes hanging like that alongside mine it feels right, it feels as though finally you truly belong here with me now," he says, and I realise what he is getting at, up to this point all the clothes I had here were all stored in the spare room closet.

"Let's get some dinner before it gets too late," I say quietly, "Then afterwards we can look through those photo albums together and you can tell me what you remember," I say.

I see him smile shyly, "I'd like that," he says carefully.

After dinner we are sitting quietly with the albums and Gideon is telling me stories of what he remembers, some of the pictures seem to evoke bigger reactions than others, but I listen entranced to everything he tells me. As we get further into the albums and Gideon gets older I see his demeanour change and he becomes more reticent to talk, and I take it as a sign to leave it there for one night. I gently pull the album from his hands and close it.

"We can continue this another night, it's getting late," I say carefully and I see a relieved look on his face and he nods in agreement.

As I put the album to one side the intercom buzzes, I look at Gideon in surprise as I wasn't expecting anyone, and it is really late.

"Were you expecting visitors?" I ask and he shakes his head and goes to answer it.

A moment later he returns looking confused and on edge. I immediately go to him.

"Who was it?" I ask.

"My mother is here, she is asking to see me, she is on her way up," he says.

I nod but I too am thrown by this, "Ok, I'll go in the bedroom and leave you two alone then," I say, Gideon immediately grabs me and pulls me close.

"No, you'll stay with me" he demands, "please" he adds in a softer almost begging tone.

I place my hands on his chest and feel his pounding heart beneath the soft grey t-shirt he is wearing.

"Ok, I'm staying right here with you, now calm down," I say.

The doorbell rings a moment later and Gideon moves to answer it but he doesn't let go of my hand and I have no other option but to follow him to the door.

"Mother," he says stiffly as he opens the door.

I take a moment to really look at Elizabeth, she looks dreadful, she isn't wearing any makeup, her long dark hair is tied back into a severe ponytail and she has dark circles under her eyes. She glances at me and then returns her attention back to Gideon.

"May I come in?" she asks.

I wonder if she has been here before, then I remember Gideon telling me the first time he asked me to come home with him that no women had ever been to his apartment before me aside from his housekeeper, and his mother.

I am pulled from my thoughts by Gideon moving to allow her in, I move with him and he shuts the door and follows her in, as we walk into the living room I see her stop dead gazing at the photographs I have put around the room, much like Gideon did when he first came in and then her eyes fall to the photograph albums which we left on the sofa.

She turns to face us and I see she has tears in her eyes and she is wringing her hands together, her stance forcibly reminds me of my own mother and her moments of anxiety. Gideon grips my hand tightly and I run my hand down his arm. The atmosphere between mother and son is thick and oppressive and I can tell she wants to say something but she doesn't want me here to witness it.

"Would you mind giving us a moment alone... please?" she says acknowledging me for the first time. As I nod and go to remove myself from Gideon's grip, but he shakes his head and tightening his grip on me he pulls me closer to him.

"Anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of Eva," he states firmly.

I look up at him and press my hand to his chest, "Gideon" I say quietly and he looks down at me immediately giving me his full attention.

"Talk to your mom alone, she wants to talk with you alone, can't you see how hard this is for her?" I pause and return my attention to Elizabeth, and yet continue to talk to my husband but my eyes are now fixed on her almost warning her to be careful.

"It's hard enough for her to tell you that she was wrong, she doesn't need an audience," I say letting her know what I expect from her unexpected visit here, and I see Elizabeth stiffen at my words.

I look up at Gideon once more as I point towards the kitchen, "I'll just be in there, I'll even leave the door open so you can see me if you like," I say, part of me wanting nothing more than to escape, but the other wanting to stay and protect my husband.

I see him think about that and he nods and I leave giving Elizabeth another warning look as I head past her towards the kitchen, I open the door and go inside, a moment later the door is pushed wide open and Gideon points to the breakfast bar, I obediently sit down at it and he nods leaving me alone, he places himself in my line of sight on the sofa and he gestures to the seat opposite for his mother to sit down.

"What do you want mother?" he asks coldly.

"Chris came to see me and he made me aware of certain things which put an entirely different light on events which happened in the past," she says.

I can't see her expression as she has her back to me, but from the tone of her voice she is incredibly nervous about this.

I watch Gideon fold his arms defensively as if he is protecting himself against her.

"I have also spoken to Christopher, he said he had spoken with his father about it as well, and he called me to tell me that certain things he had told me around that time were also untrue," she says, this is excruciating to listen to, I want to go out there and shake her and tell her to just admit she was wrong and to damn well apologise.

"Chris left the copies of the interview he and your wife had with Dr Lucas and I listened to them," she says.

"My wife has a name," Gideon spits harshly.

"Yes, of course, she does," Elizabeth says quickly.

"I listened to what he... Dr Lucas said to... Eva, how he confessed what he did, how he said he had lied" she says.

I am willing her not to deny this any longer, I hold my breath as I hear her take in a deep breath, I will her to tell him she believes him and that she is sorry.

"Look mother, will you just get to the point already" Gideon spits, I can tell he is getting ready for her to deny once again that anything happened, he is steeling himself for the recrimination and being told once more he is lying, I hope to god that isn't going to happen and I feel my hands ball into fists and I get ready to go out there all guns blazing if it does.

"Gideon... I" she stammers and stops. "Gideon I am so, so sorry will you ever forgive me for the way I behaved, I love you Gideon and I'm sorry, can we try and put this behind us?" she says.

I sag in my seat my hands relax and I rub my now sweating palms on my sweatpants.

I wait listening and I hear Gideon's ragged breaths I look towards him and he is staring at his mother, his eyes wide and blazing, and his fists are clenching and unclenching. He stands suddenly and paces for a moment before spinning to face her.

"I was raped," he says in a low voice and I realise what he is asking for, she has apologised – repeatedly, but she hasn't told him she believes him, that is what he wants, what he really needs to hear, his mothers belief that it happened to him.

I am now on my feet and in the doorway, no longer making any pretence of not being there. I am desperate to go to him but I can't, not until Elizabeth finally tells him what he needs to hear.

"I was groomed, molested and raped," he says staring at his mother, waiting for her reply.

I watch as Elizabeth who is now sobbing walks towards him and reaches out to him, I see him visibly recoil at the touch but to her credit, she doesn't react she simply reaches again and this time she touches his arm, a soft tender gesture and I can see she is nodding her head.

"You were," she says quietly, "You were and I didn't believe you and I am so, so sorry," she says.

I watch as Gideon crumples and Elizabeth wraps her arms around him, holding him and sobbing with him, this is the moment he has waited so many years for, this is the moment which will help more than anything with his healing.

I continue to watch from the doorway my arms wrapped tightly around myself and tears streaming down my cheeks as Gideon and his mother sob on each other.

"I believe you, Gideon, I believe you were raped," I hear Elizabeth say and her words cut through me.

That was it, that was the moment he needed, and I can see what it meant to him on his face, I see his expression when he hears those words, his eyes shoot open wide, he grips his mother tightly and I see a look of profound relief and he looks across at me, and he straightens and holds out his hand to me.

"Angel, I need you," he says, and I don't hesitate I am crossing the floor and I am in his arms sobbing on him, just as hard as he is sobbing on me.

Eventually, I push away from him and my gaze meets Elizabeth's she is staring at us and I can see she wants to say something.

"I also owe you an apology," she says quietly to me.

I shrug but don't say anything.

Suddenly she reaches for me, "I do, I'm sorry Eva, I misjudged you, I was led to believe certain things about you which were untrue" she says, and I realise that she is referring to the lies Christopher told her.

"Forget it," I say pulling out of her grasp. There is an awkward silence for a moment until Elizabeth speaks again.

"It's getting late, I'd best be going, and let you two get to bed," she says suddenly and I nod, "Goodnight Eva," she says to me.

I smile at her, "Goodnight Elizabeth" I reply.

"I'll see you out," Gideon says and I watch as he escorts his mother out.

**oooOOOooo**

"Just say that again."

The astonished voice of Chris Vidal on the end of the phone makes me smile. Gideon has just recently gone off to work and despite me having a brief conversation with him and establishing he was doing ok, I am still reeling from the events of yesterday and in particular last night and I'm having a bit of a head trip about it.

Not only was there Christopher's visit with me and his subsequent visit with Gideon at his office which I had heard all about last night at our couples therapy, but also the truly astonishing developments after Elizabeth unexpectedly turned up last night.

I quickly decided that I just needed to share, talk through what had happened, and the only person who I could share these mind-blowing events with right now is Chris, so here I am now talking to my father in law and blowing his mind, while I am trying to get my own head around the enormity of what happened last night.

"Elizabeth came round last night, really late and apologised to Gideon and told him that she now believed he had been raped," I say slowly.

"I don't believe it, she refused to listen to that footage we got, and... well I told you what happened," he says slightly bewildered by what I have just told him.

"Yeah well that wasn't the only monumental thing that happened yesterday, I got a visit from Christopher, he came to apologise to me, and to get some advice from me on how to go about apologising to Gideon, which to his credit he then went and did, and from what Gideon said at our therapy session last night it appeared to go well."

I wait a moment as Chris takes in what I have just told him.

"As for Elizabeth, I think Christopher was the key, after what you told him about the journals he went to his mother and told her that he lied as a child about what he had or hadn't heard, he also told her that everything that he had told her about me was lies as well, just to cause trouble, and from what I can gather after she got that confession, she then listened to the footage and it made her realise," I say.

"I left a copy with her in the hope that she would listen to it at some point," Chris says still slightly dazed. "What happened with Christopher?" he asks after a moment, returning to the other information which I have just hit him with.

"He came here, just turned up out of the blue yesterday, I was quite shocked actually, and wondered what he wanted, but you could tell by his demeanour that he wasn't out to cause trouble, he apologised to me and said he was wrong and he asked me if it was true what you had told him and I said it was - that Gideon had been raped, and he seemed keen to make amends, he wanted to do the right thing," I say.

"And what did Gideon say about his conversation with Christopher?" Chris asks.

"We were at our couples therapy, and we talked about everything that had happened, going to see Lucas and getting the confession, and everything that had happened since, how it had led to Gideon getting the patient notes and how you had told Christopher and how he had been to see me and apologised and it was then that Gideon chimed in with the fact that Christopher had been to see him, he was very calm about it, he said Christopher had told him that he was sorry for everything and he had asked for our therapist's name as he felt he could do with some counselling to deal with everything that he had been told, Gideon also said that Christopher had asked to accompany him to one of his sessions as well, like you did and that he had agreed."

"Wow, that is a better outcome than I could have wished for, for years I wondered why Christopher had such animosity towards Gideon, and I just put it down to extreme sibling rivalry and hoped that one day they would come around," Chris says, I can hear the hope in his voice that this could be the start of a new relationship between Gideon and Christopher.

"Reading between the lines, I think Gideon isn't totally on board yet with letting Christopher in, he is happy he knows the truth, and pleased he has apologised, but this has been monumental for him and it's a lot to process and there are a lot of years of hurt for him, Christopher has done a lot of crappy things to him, so it's going to take time, I think all he is comfortable with at the moment is cordial and friendly, he isn't ready for anything deeper," I say.

"That is totally understandable, I can't imagine what it's been like all these years for him, living with this alone, it's a wonder he hasn't gone out of his mind, it just goes to show what a strong man he is," Chris says.

I laugh, "Yes, the first thing I noticed about him was his iron will," I say.

"I am still astounded and speechless about Elizabeth though, she has gone from denying everything to believing everything, I just hope she doesn't have some sort of ulterior motive, because if she has, that will completely destroy Gideon," Chris says.

Warning bells start sounding in my head at this, and I quickly replay last night's events over in my head. "What do you mean?" I ask sharply.

Chris sighs, "Every time I have gone to see her to try and talk sense into her, she has refused to listen and all she has wanted to discuss is us, and what she can do to get me back and get everything back as it was," he says.

A rock settles in my gut at this, and two things stick in my mind, the first is what Chris has just said '_the only thing she has wanted to discuss is us, and what she can do to get me back and get everything back as it was'_, and with that in mind, her words to Gideon last night scream at me '_can we try and put this behind us?_'

I can now imagine her going to Chris and saying she had been to see Gideon and he is happy to put this behind us, she wants the status quo back she wants to pretend her denial hasn't caused the years of pain and hurt that it has, and then her abrupt and speedy exit afterwards, almost as though she had only come to do what she needed to do... not for Gideon but to try and win Chris back!

"So you think she has only admitted her guilt to try and win you back?" I say carefully.

"I hope not, but the possibility can't be ignored, every time I have been to see her she has asked me the same question 'what can I do to make things right?' and I've told her, you need to apologise to Gideon and tell him you believe he was abused, and now she's done it, yes admittedly the evidence we have put in front of her and the proof we have provided that Gideon was abused is so overwhelming she couldn't possibly continue to deny it, but it's the fact she's done it so soon after I served her with divorce papers, but I could be wrong, and I really hope I am, as she has also done it after receiving the truth from Christopher, hearing the truth from Lucas via that recording we got and also she has read the lies that damn paedophile wrote, it could just have made her realise she needed to do the right thing," he pauses and lets out a humourless laugh.

"But I can't help but be cynical though, as when she read the notes, she seemed more outraged that he had written lies about what she had allegedly said to him, which was a total fabrication, but she was more upset about that than the lies he wrote about Gideon."

I sigh, "Well I think we should keep this theory to ourselves, first of all we could be totally wrong about her, which I hope we are, and also it will do no good trying to warn Gideon that his mothers motives for her complete about-turn could be selfish, it will only compound the belief he has, that she didn't love him enough" I say.

"He really thinks that?" Chris says and I can hear the shock in his voice at that revelation.

"He does, he told me that himself when he told me how she didn't believe he had been abused," I say sadly.

There is a brief silence and then Chris speaks again with firm conviction, "You're right, let's keep it to ourselves and let's hope she proves us wrong if she doesn't then we need to be there for Gideon to pick up the pieces and support him," Chris says.

"Are you going to call off the divorce?" I ask.

There is another silence, "No," he says eventually, "and I'll tell you why, she was too wilfully blind for too many years, and it's not only the denial of the abuse, or the fact she never even told me, but that was what made me leave her in the first place, but the more I have uncovered since, the more I realise I never really knew exactly what sort of woman she was, did you know that when Gideon's father died she almost seemed to blame him in some way? He was a small child who had had his whole world ripped apart for god's sake," Chris says.

I sigh, "I got that much as well, he told me how he felt pushed out, and how Elizabeth had tried to erase Geoffrey from her life and Gideon felt scared about even talking about him, I know what Geoffrey Cross did was wrong and it affected Elizabeth's life but she seemed to forget that Geoffrey Cross was also Gideon's father, and she lost sight of the fact that, that little boy had lost a man he loved and idolised," I say.

"That is very true, when I went with Gideon to his therapy session I heard him say things which gave me that impression, it's all so very sad and what really makes me angry is all this could have been avoided, I had no idea Gideon felt the way he did, yes I should take some blame for that, for not making the effort to delve deeper into the behavioural issues he was having, I hold my hands up to that, I listened to Elizabeth's assessment of him just being a naughty boy and accepted it without question, but he was hurting, grieving and crying out for help and he was ignored and dismissed, he has been ignored and dismissed all his life, but no longer," Chris says fiercely.

"Chris you can't start thinking what if, you'll drive yourself crazy, you are there for Gideon now that is the main thing, as am I, and so is Ireland," I say.

"Where is Gideon now?" Chris asks.

"Gone to work, he left a short time ago," I say.

"And he seemed ok?" Chris asks.

"Yes, he was happy, relaxed, and looking forward to tonight and the weekend," I say.

"Why, what is happening tonight and the weekend?" Chris asks, jumping on the change of topic.

"Tonight we have a meeting of the clans!" I say with a giggle.

"I beg your pardon?" Chris says the confusion in his voice evident.

I give another little laugh, and quickly explain.

"Gideon has his friendship group, and I have mine, and tonight we are bringing the two together, we had originally thought of throwing a party, then Gideon came up with the idea of going to a club and eventually my friend Shawna came up with a sort of mixture of the two, she has heard about this new place downtown, which does Karaoke, but not as you know it, it has a live band and it is really more upmarket, so it should be fun," I say.

"Then we are flying down to the Outer Banks for the weekend, Gideon took me there a while ago to this beautiful beach house there, and when shortly after we got married he surprised me and presented me with the deeds to it, he had bought the place and gave it to me as a wedding present, so we are going down there, just the two of us for the weekend," I say.

"Sounds nice," Chris says, "and what are your plans for today?" he asks.

"I am getting myself organised, I am planning on launching a charitable foundation to help people who have been sexually and physically abused, it's an idea I've been playing with for a while now but now I have decided to pull my finger out and put wheels in motion, Gideon has pledged to throw the weight of Crossroads behind it, and quite frankly I have procrastinated about it long enough, it's time I actually did something, especially considering that I am in a position to help, I want to do so" I say.

"That is very honourable, is this because of what you have seen Gideon go through?" Chris asks.

I bite my lip, part of my plan when I launch my foundation is to 'out' myself as being a victim of rape but pointing out that I am now a survivor, to show that I know what I am talking about, I hesitate and then I realise I have been silent a while when Chris questions if I am still there.

"I'm still here," I say carefully, I clear my throat, "No, well yes, partly, but because I also know firsthand what it's like to be abused and raped as a child," I say in a small voice.

I hear the sharp intake of breath, "Shit" Chris breathes and then there is another silence for a moment as he takes that in, "No wonder you understand Gideon so well, and why you fight so hard for him, you know from personal experience, you understand," he says.

"I do," I say simply.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

**(GIDEON)**

I feel different, completely and utterly different, I feel like a huge weight that I have been lugging around for years has now gone, I felt something shift inside me last night when I heard those simple words my mother spoke. I have no idea what changed her mind so comprehensively, and at this moment I am choosing to believe that she means what she said and that it was the combination of the Lucas confession and Christopher also telling her he had lied which has altered her long-held point of view.

A cynical part of me though isn't having any of it, I have dealt with my mother's denial for years and for her to so suddenly and comprehensively change her mind doesn't ring true, and a part of me wonders if it is all just a ploy to try and get Chris back, she was devastated when he left her and it isn't a coincidence that he has recently served her with divorce papers.

Sadly, I also know my mother, and her sudden appearance last night appeared to me to be too contrived, too much of a grand gesture to be totally convincing, which is hardly surprising based on the years of conditioning that I have had, that she didn't love me enough, but on the other hand I could be totally wrong, and her motives could have been genuine this time.

I am not stupid enough to totally accept that without question though, the thing which is making me doubt her sincerity was that the difference between her apology and Christopher's was stark, he maintained eye contact with me throughout our conversation yesterday and I saw the deep regret in his eyes and an element of confusion where he tried to make sense of the fact that everything he thought was true actually wasn't. I believe he truly wants to make amends and build bridges. My mother, on the other hand, couldn't look me in the eye once, not even when she apologised and not when she told me she believed me. In business, I have learnt to read people and read people well, and there was something definitely off about my mother's performance last night.

But despite that, yesterday was a huge day for me, I think getting Christopher's apology meant more to me than anything, as I have never fully understood why he hated me so intensely, but now that I do and he does, we can start to break down those years of lies and animosity, and hopefully build some sort of relationship. I am taking it slowly though, I am not prepared to open myself up to him as I have done to Ireland and Chris, too much has happened between us to take that leap of faith, but I am prepared to give him a chance.

I return my attention to the paperwork in front of me, Mark Garrity is joining us on Monday and the HR paperwork is in front of me to sign off on. I pause as I read the paperwork, remembering Eva's accusation that I was manipulating her to come and work for me by poaching her boss. That had never been my intention, and those words had stung when I had stopped and realised how it had looked. I had seen a very capable person who would be a good fit for my company and gone after him, I had never considered how it looked to my wife who I was also trying to entice to Cross Industries.

Thankfully, she believed me when I had assured her that my motives had been purely to get Garrity on board, but now he is I know it won't be long before my wife does join me. I have promised her I will not interfere, but I will put in place measures to smooth the process for him to engage Eva as his assistant.

I power through my day, I am surprised when I look up and notice it is nearly 6:30. I stand and stretch, looking forward to the evening ahead, Eva hasn't told me where we are going, but I've been assured it will be a lot of fun. I grab my jacket and shut down my computer, before heading home to my wife.

Angus is waiting as usual at the kerb and he smiles at me "Ready to go home lad?" he asks as I climb in.

"I'm going out tonight, Eva and I are having a get together with friends, she has organised everything, I'm not sure where we are going or what we are doing but she assures me I will enjoy myself," I say with a grin.

He slaps my shoulder and smiles, "It'll be good for you lad, let your hair down and act your age," he says.

I nod and climb into the car.

When I arrive at the penthouse I look around and see piles of notes on the coffee table, I wander over and idly pick one up, and realise immediately these are Eva's plans for her foundation which she is planning to launch, I crouch down and rifle through the papers looking through her ideas and am impressed with what she has come up with.

"Hi, Ace, what are you doing?" she says from behind me, I rise back up again and turn towards her holding up the paper I have in my hand.

"I'm just looking at the notes you left here, this is very good," I say.

She beams at me and walks closer, "Thank you, I have everything sorted in my mind how I want it to go, I just need to arrange a venue and organise the press pack and make sure Cary is available as he is going to be the public face of it all," she says.

I nod, "Well if you need any help, my PR team and Crossroads are at your disposal," I say.

She wraps her arms around me and kisses my chest, "thank you" she says.

As I go to pull her closer she pulls away and looks up at me, "We should start getting ready for tonight" she says her eyes shining and she is almost dancing with excitement.

"I can't wait," I say as I follow her to the bedroom.

**oooOOOooo**

"EVA!"

I react to the shout and turn to watch as my wife does the same and then immediately leaves my side to greet three people who are walking towards us, I recognise the red-haired woman as Shawna Ellison the woman who provided the tickets for the Six-Ninths show which had ended with the altercation between me and Brett Kline when I caught him kissing Eva.

My attention moves to Mark Garrity who Eva has just hugged and I watch as she also hugs the tall broad red-haired man, and I realise that must be Steven Ellison, Mark's fiancé and Shawna's brother who Eva had told me about. I stay back out of the way and just watch, my wife looks happy and relaxed, she is in her element surrounded by her friends. Eva loves being around people, and once again Dr Petersen's words fill my mind about how my wife is happiest surrounded by her circle of friends and family.

My thoughts are interrupted by a familiar voice speaking to me.

"Was this your idea?" and I turn to face Arash who is grinning widely as he nods towards the club we are standing in front of.

I can understand why he asked, as this is one of my clubs, and it's a new one which has only recently opened.

I shake my head, "Nothing to do with me. This was all Eva, I was completely in the dark about tonight, and had no idea where we were going until I got here," I say holding my hands up.

Arnoldo appears and I greet him warmly and our little group expands as Manuel also arrives a few moments later, Eva notices their arrival and comes to me and quickly greets my friends with a natural warm sincerity, I can't help but notice that Arnoldo is quite cool with Eva and I make a mental note to have a word, I won't have Eva feeling any negativity from my friends. The greeting Arnoldo gave her is markedly stiff in comparison to Manuel as he offers her his, I watch as he steps forward and tries to embrace my wife and kiss her, I quickly step in and push him away.

"Get back!" I snarl at him and he grins at me and holds up his hands, Eva is laughing and looks at me in surprise at my reaction.

Arash comes up next and tries his luck, and I round on him pushing him away as well, "Don't even think about it, Madani!" I hiss.

He throws back his head and laughs loudly, "This jealous streak you have recently acquired is vastly entertaining" he says.

Manuel roars with laughter at his comment and agrees wholeheartedly as he calms down he winks at Eva and I glare at them both but Eva just grins at them, but all the while she is holding my hand and stroking my arm, reassuring me.

"Calm down, they are your friends, they don't mean any harm and the more you react the more they will try and wind you up," she whispers in my ear.

I know she is right but I can't help my reaction when I see another man pawing my wife. I try to remember these are indeed my friends.

I wonder if everyone is here yet, I have no idea who exactly has been invited. I glance around and notice that all the people who I said to invite are here, and so I wonder who else is due to arrive. Arnoldo is standing with Arash and Manuel, and they are chatting amiably with Mark and Steven, Shawna is standing with Cary and Trey and laughing at something Cary has said.

"How many more people are we waiting for?" I ask, whispering in Eva's ear.

"Three, possibly four" she replies, "and here is two of them now" she adds tugging at my hand and pointing, I look up and I am surprised to see Magdalene walking towards us holding the hand of a tall thin man.

"Maggie, I didn't know you were coming tonight!" I say with genuine surprise as I step forward and embrace her, kissing her cheek. She laughs and air kisses me, I see Arash watching me and his eyebrows rise and I realise the hypocrisy of what Maggie and I have just done, I had behaved like a neanderthal when my friends wanted to do exactly the same thing with Eva. My attention returns to Maggie as she speaks to me.

"Hello Gideon, Eva called me and invited me, it sounded like fun, so here I am," she says.

"Well, I'm glad you could make it," I say sincerely, and my love for my wife increases that she made the effort to include Maggie.

"This is my boyfriend Gage Flynn," Maggie says, waving her hand at the man at her side, "Gage, this is my oldest and dearest friend Gideon Cross," she adds.

I shake the man's hand and give him a once over, it is a firm handshake and he looks at me warily.

"Hello, pleased to meet you," he says politely.

"Likewise," I say.

I watch Eva and Maggie greet each other warmly, and it makes me happy to see it, they had gotten off to a rocky start – which was totally Maggie's fault, when she had tried to bait Eva, she had provoked her, trying to warn her off me, at a moment where what she had said had hit a raw nerve and as a result had caused a rift for a while.

Eva had felt threatened and Maggie hadn't realised what Eva meant to me. I had been angry and hurt by what she had done, and I had told her so. It had also put a strain on our relationship for a while and I was fully prepared to cut Maggie out of my life, but it seems the two women have sorted out their differences and it really does make me happy that Eva had thought to actually include her and invite her along tonight.

Seeing how the two women are interacting I also feel happier with my decision to ask Eva if I could have Maggie as a bridesmaid at our vow renewal in December, as she _is_ my oldest friend and although Eva had agreed, I had been concerned that she was just agreeing to pacify me, after all, she had wanted Cary as a groomsman.

"Here are the final two," Eva says and I look to see a young couple approaching, Eva steps away from me and greets the man and watch as he introduces the woman at his side I watch as she warmly greets her, before turning back to face me to introduce us.

"Gideon this is Will Granger, I worked with him at Waters Field and Leaman, and this is his girlfriend Natalie," she says, she waves her hand towards me, "Guys, this is my husband Gideon Cross."

I step forward and offer my hand to the man in front of me, I vaguely remember him from the day I had stormed into the offices of Waters Field & Leaman after Eva had quit. He has a retro beatnik look which works for him, I greet his girlfriend, a small blue haired woman dressed in the same fifties style and who is sporting twin sleeves of tattoos.

I put my hand up to the bouncer on the door, who immediately holds the line and clears a path for us to enter the building, and he mutters something into a mic he is attached to, via a headset. Eva turns and looks at me in surprise when she sees this and then realisation dawns on her face.

"This is one of yours isn't it?" she says.

I nod, "It is," I say with a shrug.

She sighs and shakes her head, "Is there anything you don't own?" she asks sarcastically.

I snort, "In New York? Very little" I say dryly and press a kiss to her temple.

She elbows me sharply in the ribs and shakes her head once more.

We all troop inside and are shown to the booth Eva had booked, there are menus on the table for food and drinks and a tablet to place your food and drinks order or to select a song if you wanted to participate in the karaoke.

I cast a critical eye over the place, it looks good, very good, it still has that new feel to it, as it hasn't been open for very long but I like what I see, the different shades of blue and the chrome makes it look classy, and am pleased with how full the place is, it seems popular and that is always a good thing, I had noticed the long queue outside of people waiting to come in and all the bookable VIP booths are full and the open area is buzzing, the last time I saw the place was before it opened and it was completely empty but seeing like this filled with people is gratifying.

We all pile into the booth and Arash immediately grabs the tablet.

"So who is going first?" he says looking around and I see Steven stand up immediately and hold his hand out for the tablet.

"Give me that," he says, "I will get this party started and set the bar" I watch as Mark rolls his eyes and shakes his head, and Shawna laughs loudly.

"He is totally shameless, but thankfully he has a reasonable voice, so it won't be painful," she says.

A moment later Steven has disappeared into the crowd and is heading towards the stage.

"What did he pick?" Eva asks peering at the discarded tablet.

"Don't Stop Believin' by Journey, it's his favourite song in the world" Shawna says.

A few moments later the band strikes up with 'Don't Stop Believin'' and we watch Steven belting it out. He does have quite a good voice and he is totally playing up to the crowd.

We are all laughing and cheering as the song comes to an end and he bows theatrically before making his way back.

Next to go up are Cary and Trey who sing a duet, Trey is shy and has a quiet sweet voice but it actually worked and blended nicely with Cary's harsher vocal. I smile as I watch them, especially Cary who has bags of enthusiasm and not a bad voice either, they do a rendition of '(I've had) The time of my life'.

Cary goes up again a short while later and sings a rousing rendition of 'Only the Good Die Young' an odd choice, and I am surprised that all genres of music seem to be incorporated, as the last thing I had ever imagined hearing, was an Iron Maiden track, but hearing a live band play it was actually pretty awesome.

Everyone seems to be mingling together and getting along well, I smile as I see Shawna talking with Magdalene. I have been watching Arnoldo closely and I can't help but notice he has barely acknowledged Eva all evening, and it could be argued he has blatantly snubbed her choosing to spend most of his time talking with Maggie, I don't think this has gone unnoticed by Eva and it is starting to piss me off, so I feel the need to have a word.

I shuffle across the seat I am semi sprawled in towards my friend.

"My wife has concerns that you have got a problem with her, and after watching your attitude towards her tonight I have to agree with her," I say to him in fluent Italian, so that neither Eva nor anyone else will pick up on the conversation.

Arnoldo's head whips around to face me and he has a defensive look on his face, "I have never been disrespectful to your woman," he replies sharply.

"Not openly no, and she never said you were, but I have noticed things, tonight, for example, you have barely acknowledged her presence which could be construed as a snub and when you do speak to her, it is positively arctic," I say, the warning clear in my voice.

I watch him take a long drink before he puts his glass down and looks at me.

"You are captivated by her," he states.

I nod, "I don't deny the fact," I say simply.

"I have been there my friend," he says as he starts playing with his glass.

"Your point?" I ask.

"You have to ask that, do you not remember when we first met?" he says quietly.

I nod, I had first met Arnoldo in Florence, I'd found him drowning in liquor and cooking like a madman, he had been recovering from the loss of a woman, Bianca his long-term girlfriend who had run off with another man. I had been fascinated by the depth of his despair, unable to relate, and certain that I would never know anything like it, now though I know exactly because if Eva ever left me I would never survive it.

I watch as Arnoldo steels himself, he looks me in the eye "I will say this once and we will never speak of it again, I fear for you Gideon, you have changed so dramatically since she came into your life, but she is wild and impulsive, do not forget I was there the night of the concert," he pauses and I feel my jaw tighten significantly.

"She had her reasons for what she did that night, reasons I gave to her, I have hurt her as much if not more than she has ever hurt me," I say.

I see Arnoldo shake his head, "Then I hope that you do not give her any more reasons" he says.

I shake my head stubbornly, "Our relationship is complex, but Eva loves me, she challenges me but now we are working together not against each other," I say.

I see him struggling with whatever it is he wants to say.

"Arnoldo, just spit it out," I say.

"The night of the concert, I saw her, I saw everything that happened as it unfolded in front of my eyes, in her defence, as soon as she laid eyes on Kline she ran in the opposite direction and she did not want to speak to him, but when he caught her..." he stops and makes a noise and shakes his head.

"There is chemistry there, not unlike the chemistry I witnessed between Bianca and the man she left me for, I wish I could believe Eva could ignore it but she has proven she cannot," I go to interrupt him, but he holds up his hand. "I will say, he made the move to kiss her that night, he initiated it but she didn't stop him," he says.

I lean closer, "Kline is no longer a problem," I say firmly.

I see the scepticism on his face, and it makes me angry.

"Look Arnoldo, I know for a fact it is no longer an issue, I trust my wife and I love her, and I do not want her to feel uncomfortable around my friends, if you are going to continue to behave this way you will leave me no choice, and as much as it would hurt me to do so as you are one of the closest friend I have, I would have no choice but to end our friendship, it is your decision, you accept Eva and you behave towards her the way you behave towards me or..." I trail off with a shrug.

I see the shock on his face at my words, "Arash assures me she is the best thing to have ever happened to you, and that he has never seen you happier and that she adores you," he says, now back peddling and clearly trying to placate me.

My eyebrows rise at this, "You have been discussing me and my wife with Arash? You do not accept my word when I have said much the same thing?" I ask.

Arnoldo smiles, "Men in love do not make the best witnesses," he says, "but yes I have, out of concern for you my friend," he adds.

I sigh, we are going around in circles, I glare at him and he also sighs, he glances at Eva who is watching us closely and then back at me.

"I apologise if I have given the impression of unkindness to your wife, it was not my intention, I will endeavour to improve that moving forward, and I will never say anything against her and for as long as you are with her I will treat her with the respect and kindness I feel for you," he says.

"Then that will be for the rest of your life," I say, "but thank you" I add.

"Hey, will you two cut out the Italian, and talk in a language we can all understand, so we can eavesdrop properly!" Arash calls out and he grins widely at us.

"Well said," Eva says and I take notice the tone of her voice.

I had noticed Eva was paying attention to the conversation and even though she doesn't understand Italian, I'm certain she may have picked up the gist and is drawing her own conclusions considering her name and Kline's had been mentioned not to mention our demeanour throughout.

I reach for her and press a kiss to her lips, "I'm sorry Angel, that was rude," I say.

"It was," she says she is looking at me questioningly and I press my lips to her ear and as I do so whisper into it.

"I was asking him if he had a problem with you, and he assures me he doesn't, now," I say.

"Now?" she asks.

"Now that I have corrected him on a few things he thought he knew, but was mistaken," I say.

She pulls away from me and I see her eyes soften, "Thank you" she says gratefully, she mirrors what I have just done and whispers in my ear, "I don't want to come between you and your friends" she says.

I squeeze her tightly, "You haven't and won't," I say firmly.

Then after giving her another kiss I pull away slightly, whilst still holding on to her, making it clear this conversation is over.

About halfway through the evening I notice Manuel getting twitchy, he has been checking out the women around the room for a while now, he has participated once doing a duet with Arash, they had gone up and sang 'Everybody wants to rule the world' but now he is losing interest, I am surprised he lasted as long as he did.

"Jeez, those two are giving me diabetes!" Manuel says as he watches Will and Natalie singing 'I Got You, Babe'.

"Awww come on Manuel don't be like that, they are sweet," Eva says.

But I can see he isn't listening, he has locked on a woman giving him a blatant come on and I watch as he drains his glass, I shake my head, Manuel is a horndog of epic proportions.

"Excuse me, everyone, I see something interesting," he says as he starts to walk away.

I pull Eva closer "We won't be seeing him again tonight," I say as Manuel disappears.

Eva stares at him as he disappears but doesn't say anything.

"Hey Eva, when are you going up?" Arash shouts suddenly.

I watch as panic fills my wife's face, "Trust me you do not want me up there, I am tone deaf, totally tone deaf," she says with a swipe of her hand.

"Oh come on baby girl!" Cary says joining in and goading her to participate.

The chorus of 'come on' reverberates around the table and all eyes are now on my wife.

"You have to sing Eva," Shawna shouts.

"No I don't, trust me, I'm doing you all a favour," Eva shouts back.

"Come on Eva you picked this place – you can't bring us all here and not sing!" Steven calls.

"Mark hasn't sung!" Eva accuses, pointing at Mark who holds up his hand and shakes his head dramatically, "and besides, your sister picked this place!" she adds.

"Come on Eva, I went up and sang," Magdalene coaxes.

Eva looks around helplessly, "This isn't fair, you're all ganging up on me!" she says, she looks up at me and then an evil look crosses her face.

"Gideon hasn't sung yet and you aren't bullying him to sing!" she says almost triumphantly.

I look down and smile at her, "I'll go up if you will," I say before I consider what I am suggesting.

The tablet is quickly passed along the table to Eva, "You really _have_ to sing now!" Magdalene says as she glances at me.

I smile, Magdalene is the only person here who has ever heard me sing, and that was when I was a child.

I watch as Eva sighs and gives in, taking the tablet and scrolling through the songs, she looks up at me, "If I do this you'd better go up as well," she says.

I press a kiss to her head, "I will" I say.

I watch her as she pauses a few times, then she sees something and her finger lingers a moment and she takes a shot look at me and I realise she has found something, something which she isn't sure about.

"What have you found Angel?" I ask quietly.

"A song which is kind of appropriate for us, it's very personal... a little too personal though," she says.

"But only we will know its meaning," I say, and I am intrigued by what she has found.

"But I'm a really rubbish singer, it's a beautiful song and I won't do it justice," she says.

"Go on Angel, sing for me," I urge.

I watch her debate a few moments longer and then she decides and presses her finger on the screen selecting the song. Throwing the tablet on the table she stands and presses a kiss to my head.

"You'd better go up and sing, if I am doing this!" she reiterates as she leaves the table.

My eyes follow her and watch her, I wait for her as she gets in line, I won't have long to wait, as I have noticed that anyone from our table has been fast-tracked to the front of the queue, a perk reserved for us as they know I own the place.

I wait patiently as Eva climbs on stage and she is clearly nervous about this, I am not sure whether it is the song she has chosen or her lack of confidence in her singing ability, or maybe a combination of both. I fix my eyes on her and watch as she searches the room for me.

Before she begins she speaks to the room at large, "I apologise in advance, I was forced to come up here and sing, when in reality I should never have access to a mic," she says.

A ripple of laughter flows through the crowd, the band starts to play I don't recognise the song immediately but as soon as Eva starts to sing I know what it is, it is an old 90's ballad 'Silent Lucidity' by Queensryche, definitely an obscure choice.

I stop and listen to the lyrics and I know immediately what she is telling me, the message is loud and clear, she is saying that she will stand with me as I work through my nightmares and she will always be there to protect and comfort me, it is a powerful message delivered in the form of a beautiful song.

Eva was right though, she isn't a singer, but it's certainly not as dire as I had feared from her protests, she is in tune and can hold a note and it's the message she is delivering which means the most to me.

I listen as she sings to me and I keep my eyes firmly fixed on her and she doesn't move her gaze from me.

When she is done, she gets a well-deserved round of applause, and I stand and wait for her to return, everyone at the table cheers and whoops as Eva returns and she laughs at their reaction.

I pull her close and kiss her deeply, "message received loud and clear," I say quietly in her ear as I let her go.

"Your turn, lover boy!" Arash goads and all eyes turn towards me,

I pick up the tablet and scroll through the songs, I am surprised, every possible genre is accounted for and there are many songs which are appropriate and which describe the way I feel about my wife, in the end, I narrow it down to two, but I run through the lyrics in my head of the second one and it says everything I want to tell her.

I stand and press another kiss to Eva's head, "Listen to the words," I whisper.

As I make my way to the stage, someone starts singing 'Golden' and I stiffen slightly as I hear it, but carry on and take my place in the line. As I expected, I am quickly fast-tracked to the front of the queue and before I know it I am taking my place on the stage.

I pull the mic from the stand and pick out Eva who is watching me intently.

"This is for my wife," I say and immediately that produces a chorus of whoops and cheers.

The band starts playing the opening cords and fixing my eyes on Eva I start to sing, an old Bon Jovi song. As I sing the lyrics to 'Diamond Ring' I visualise Eva on the beach with the single red rose in her hair as I pushed the diamond ring on to her finger and made her my wife.

I don't notice the silence that has fallen over the room, I just sing from the heart, to my wife.

As I finish, the room erupts and people are standing and cheering, I make my way off the stage and people are slapping my back and telling me how good I was, but I ignore them searching the room for one person and one person alone, Eva.

I find her and she flings her arms around me and kisses me hard.

"I have goosebumps all over after hearing that," she says, the emotion in her voice telling me that she also got the message I was trying to convey to her.

"I meant every word Angel," I say and I seal my mouth over hers once more.

I sit down and take in the shocked faces around me.

"What?" I ask looking around.

"Holy fucking shit man that was unreal!" Cary says and everyone nods in agreement with him.

I shrug and pull Eva closer.

Arash pulls himself together and nudges me, "You do realise we will have to hate you completely now!" he says shaking his head.

I look at him questioningly, wondering what on earth he is talking about.

Arnoldo laughs, "When you went up, Eva asked us if we had heard you sing before and only Magdalene said she had, but she said that you were a small child on that occasion, so Cary said that with a bit of luck you would suck because you can't be good at everything, else we would all have to hate you."

"You didn't suck, so we now all hate you," Arash says totally deadpan.

I feel my mouth twitch with a smile, "I can live with that," I say and Arash stares at me a moment before throwing his head back and laughing loudly.

After about another hour I feel Eva pressing herself against me, her hands are restlessly roaming over my body and she keeps nuzzling against me, I know the signs, despite the fact she is strictly on non alcoholic drinks now with the pregnancy, she is feeling horny, she wants me, I glance around, I don't think it will be much longer before the evening comes to an end, Magdalene and Gage have already gone and Arnoldo is now getting ready to leave. He makes a point of saying goodbye to Shawna, they have become firm friends since the Six-Ninths concert and then he makes his way to us.

"Goodnight Gideon, it has been an interesting evening," he says, he pauses and glances at Eva.

"Goodnight Eva," he says politely.

"Goodnight and thanks for coming," Eva says equally politely, and I don't miss the coolness still lingering between the two, and I realise that Arnoldo still harbours doubts about Eva and her fidelity.

**Song List:**

**Don't Stop Believin' by Journey**

**(I've Had) the Time of My Life by Bill Medley & Jenifer Warnes**

**Only the Good Die Young by Iron Maiden**

**Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears**

**I've Got You Babe by Sonny & Cher**

**Silent Lucidity by Queensryche**

**Diamond Ring by Bon Jovi**


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

**(EVA)**

"Angel, wake up" I feel myself being shaken gently.

"Hmmm" I moan as I come to, and open my eyes.

"There she is," I look into Gideon's face and he is smiling at me, "We're here" he adds.

I open my eyes, the last thing I remember was slumping on the bed at the back of the plane in a post-coital stupor. I had practically leapt on Gideon when we had boarded the plane I was so hot for him after that song he sang for me, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard.

That thought makes the memory of Gideon singing that song fill my mind, I had heard it before but in the context, Gideon sang it in reference to us it was truly moving and in a way heartbreaking too as it showed the insecurity he still harbours to some degree.

There was the obvious possessive message that the ring I wore told the world I was his, the reference to the red rose which I know was about the rose I wore in my hair on the beach when I married him, then there was the line _There's nothing that I wouldn't do for you _and I know in Gideon's case that is no idle boast.

I mentally dissect the song a bit more the part which I felt really showed Gideon's insecurity was_ 'You know, I bleed every night you sleep, 'Cause I don't know if I'm in your dreams, I want to be your everything...' _I took that as a reference of how he wants to sleep in the same bed as me and he fears that he is failing me, and the fact he has to leave me alone to sleep he worries that something is missing from our marriage. I guess in a way that bit was sort of a reply to the song I sang for him, or I could have missed the point entirely and I am reading too much into this.

I look up once more and take in my surroundings, I am dressed in a simple sundress and flip flops and I am in a seat with the belt around me. I realise immediately Gideon must have cleaned me up and dressed me and then carried me out here so I was safe for when we landed. I look out of the window and see that we are on the ground, it is still dark, but then again it's not a long flight from New York, two hours, if that.

We exit the plane and into a waiting car and soon we are at our destination, the memories of last weekend now fill my mind, Gideon's epiphany and subsequent vow to get healed and talk of the baby which we had just found out about. I want this weekend to be different, just relaxed and calm. I walk in and gasp as the lights come on it is exactly how I imagined it when I ordered the furniture. I feel Gideon come up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist.

"Do you like it?" he asks nervously.

"It's perfect," I say.

We head to the bedroom and Gideon leads me to the closet and opens it revealing rows and rows of clothes for him and me.

"These will stay here," he explains and I nod. "I have also engaged someone to clean and take care of the place for us," he adds.

"Come here," I say not listening to him.

I watch him still and then turn towards me the heat and yearning in his eyes overwhelms me and makes me want him again. I am sitting on the bed and don't stand up but hold out my hand to him.

He doesn't hesitate and walks towards me. I grab him by the hips and pull him closer.

"I want you" I whisper and I press a kiss to his solid muscular stomach.

"I live to serve," he replies and starts to remove his clothes, I smile at the comment and after reluctantly removing my greedy hands from him I pull off the sundress and kick off the flip-flops.

Soon we are tangled around each other on the bed.

"Eva" he moans as his hands wander over me, he is such a physically strong and powerful man and yet he touches me with such softness... such reverence.

Hunger for him immediately surges through me and I respond to his touch, I feel his hand between my legs cupping me and stroking me, his finger searching and circling.

"Gideon" I moan.

"Sshh" he hushes and continues, he peppers my body with kisses making me shiver then his mouth finds my breast and with aching gentleness he kisses and then sucks on it, he doesn't bite now as he knows my nipples are too tender for that sort of play but he lavishes attention on them until the nipples are hard stiff peaks.

I feel under siege, his hands and mouth are everywhere and then I feel it, the first ripples of the building orgasm.

"Gideon" I breathe, and my hips start moving of their own accord thrusting shamelessly into his hand.

I come in a rush gasping but he doesn't let up, he carries on stroking me urging me toward another orgasm almost immediately, I can't take anymore and I close my legs tight.

"Please…" I whisper.

I feel him pull his hand free and he gently prises my legs apart and then he is settling between them, he is raised up on his elbows so not to lay his full weight on me and not taking his eyes off me he reaches between us and taking himself in hand he guides himself towards me. I moan loudly as I feel the thick warm head of his cock pushing at me, I move slightly to give him better access and then he's inside, and slowly pushing his way in, as he does so I hear the familiar sigh he always lets out as if he is where he belongs.

"Let me in Angel, let me in and take it all," he hisses as he circles his hips and pushes a little further in, I feel him push further in until that familiar over full feeling of him possessing me completely overwhelms me.

I move my hips meeting him as he starts to move slowly.

"Oh god... fuck, you feel so good Angel" he moans as he nuzzles against me and kisses me repeatedly, he continues to gently move in and out. He is moving freely helped by the times we have already both come. My hands move down his back and to his tight ass and press, urging him deeper and his movements increase, the slow gentle rhythm of almost teasing thrusts are gone and he is moving with purpose now.

"I love you" he whispers in my ear as he picks up the pace even more.

My nails dig into his flesh and he hisses.

"I love you, with all my heart" I reply and I hear him growl.

This seems to make him even more desperate for me, he rears back and lifts my hips slightly then thrusts back in forcefully I have all of him, every last bit of him inside me and yet he still feels as though he is trying push deeper, as he continues to plunge into me I feel yet another orgasm building and my nails scrape over his skin, I curl my fingers and dig my nails into his shoulders as it hits me.

"Oh god, Gideon!" I yell.

I feel him pushing hard, bracing his feet in the bed and continuing to thrust deeply, his breath now coming out in low rasping grunts, rolling his hips, he is chasing his own orgasm now, the almost animalistic primal need to come is clawing at him, he never once takes his eyes from mine and I stare up at him mesmerised. I see the moment the climax hits him, I see it in the sheer bliss radiating from those gorgeous blue eyes and I feel it as his balls draw up and his cock twitches furiously inside me, lengthening and thickening and then he freezes.

"FUCK...ANGEL, EVA GOD DAMN IT!" he roars, and I feel the explosion deep inside as it happens, and then scorching heat as he fills me with even more of his seed, a feeling which sets me off once more and I'm gripping his cock tightly, milking him, taking every last drop from him.

The next time I open my eyes, sunlight is filling the room, and I feel... sick! I clap my hand over my mouth and rush for the bathroom, flinging the lid up off the toilet and sinking to my knees in front of it. Almost immediately I hear Gideon behind me and then I feel his hands gently pulling my hair back from my face and holding it while I vomit.

He is whispering encouragement to me and he gently caresses my back trying to soothe me as I retch once again into the toilet.

Eventually, the sickness subsides and I am left gasping and I rest my head on my arm.

"Angel?" Gideon asks anxiously.

I lift my head and manage a weak smile, "I think I'm done" I say with a slightly croaky voice. I know that I will soon feel better now I've stopped actually being sick.

"I'm ok now," I say as I go to move and I feel Gideon grip me and gently help me to my feet, my legs are a little shaky and he holds on to me tightly until I am ready to move.

"Ok?" he asks after a moment, I nod and move towards the sink to brush my teeth.

I hear him quietly leave the bathroom and I know that when I find him again he will have a warm drink and some crackers waiting for me.

When I have finished in the bathroom I go back to the bedroom and get dressed before going in search of my husband, I find him in the kitchen and set on the worktop is a mug full of steaming hot liquid, I pick it up and sniff it, is different from the usual tea I have now taken to drinking since my pregnancy induced aversion to coffee.

"What's this?" I ask.

"Ginger tea, Angus recommended it, it will help settle your stomach, drink it," he says.

I smile and take a cautious sip, it's actually not that bad, the ginger isn't too overpowering and it does have a warming calming reaction on my churning stomach. A moment later a plate with some crackers are also pushed towards me.

"Thank you" I whisper as I take one.

I open the French doors and step out on to the deck, I close my eyes as I feel the sun hit my face and I hear the roar of the sea, I love it here, I sit down on one of the seats on the deck and pull out my phone. It's Saturday and time for me to make my call to my dad, I hit the button and wait.

"Hello", my heart lurches at the sound of his voice.

"Hi daddy," I say brightly.

"Eva, how are you?" he says his tone brightening significantly.

"I'm good how are you?" I ask.

"I'm pretty good too... I saw that interview" he says carefully.

"You did?" I say my heart sinking now just as fast as it rose.

"I did, Gideon came across well, very respectful and he made it clear you were the only person he was interested in," my dad says graciously, but there is also an edge to his voice.

I smile, "I can sense a 'but' coming," I say.

"That Corinne woman – that book she is writing, is she trying to get him back, is that why he had to return to New York that evening, because she had done something he had to clean up?" he asks.

I sigh, "It was, but I assure you it's over now, she finally got the message, but it took a lot to get her to that point," I say.

"Tell me," my dad says in that no-nonsense tone I know not to ignore.

I sigh again, "Their history was pretty much as Gideon said it was in the interview, they met at college and they were young and immature and they thought it would be a good idea to get engaged, it was Corinne who asked him and that as soon as he accepted he realised it was a bad idea. Gideon didn't have a lot of experience with women and relationships, and he didn't know how to break it off without hurting Corinne which he didn't want to do, they inevitably drifted apart and in the end she broke it off and went off with Jean Francois Giroux, but what Gideon didn't say was, that was just a ploy to try and make him jealous and fight for her, but he didn't. They married but recently that marriage broke down and she returned to the States hoping to pick up where she left off with Gideon".

I pause as I see the man himself standing leaning against the French doors his arms folded.

"So she came back and tried to get him back," my dad says.

I return my attention back to my father, "Pretty much, Gideon told her he was seeing me and that I was important to him, he tried to be her friend, because he knew she was going through a tough time, as I think he thought he owed her that much, but she took that as the green light to try and split us up, I swear to you daddy he never gave her any indication that he could offer her more than friendship, I heard him tell her that myself," I pause again, waiting for my dad to say something.

When he doesn't I continue, "She tried all sorts of things to split us up, she tried to make me believe Gideon had slept with her and she got increasingly desperate as Gideon just kept knocking her back and making it clear he wasn't interested, he stopped taking her calls and refused to see her and she started getting irrational, in the end he called Jean Francois to come to the States and do something as she was getting to be a complete nightmare. He did and when he arrived he came to see me, it was shortly after we had married, and that particular day I wasn't wearing my ring as we were keeping the fact we were married to ourselves as we hadn't told you or mom. He saw the tan line on my finger and put two and two together, he told Corinne we were engaged and in response to that, she swallowed a bottle of pills."

"Jesus" my dad hisses.

"Yeah, total mess," I say.

"So is that is what the interviewer was trying bait Gideon on when she said something about Corinne being in the hospital?" My dad asks.

"Yes" I say, "but it gets worse", I pause wondering how I am going to say this as I don't want my dad to know that Gideon announced our marriage in retaliation of Corinne's book, which it was, so as much as I don't want to, a little white lie is in order here, I work out what I want to say.

"That phone call Gideon got at dinner was when he found out she now was threatening to write a book, he had no idea it had got as far as announcing it, obviously he didn't want her to do that, as he didn't want something like that out there as he feared it would hurt me, so that is why he flew back to New York to try and talk to her and talk her out of doing it, we had decided to announce our wedding & marriage after I had told you and mom and so after Gideon was sure everything was ok with you he instructed his PR department to make it public about the wedding the previous weekend, I think he also thought that if Corinne saw that, then she would stop with the threats about the book".

"What happened?" my dad asks.

"Corinne turned up at Gideon's apartment the next day before he could have chance to go and see her, and basically emotionally blackmailed him, she told him she didn't believe we were married, that she was going to write her book and that if he didn't stop being so horrible she would take another overdose or words to that effect, she didn't say that exactly, but the message was clear" I say.

"My God!" my dad says.

"Gideon called her bluff and she left, then the next day she announces publicly that this book is going to be written, Gideon felt he had no option then but to put out the statement and do the interview, he has never, _ever_ given a personal interview before, and it goes a long way to show how cornered he felt that he agreed to do that one" I say.

"She sounds unstable," my dad says.

"I think she probably is" I agree, "I mean, and this is strictly between you and me, we found out that she was pregnant when she took the first overdose, and from the things she said to Gideon when she confronted him at his apartment we have a strong reason to believe that she knew about the baby and she just didn't care, and took the pills anyway, she lost the baby of course," I say.

I hear my dad's sharp intake of breath at that "Where is she now?" he asks eventually.

"Gone" I say.

"Gone?" my dad repeats.

"Yes, after the interview aired it became clear public opinion and the media weren't impressed with what she had done, and what was made public in the interview wasn't the half of it, my guess is she realised this, and the fact she knew that we knew what else she had done clinched it for her and she threw in the towel, she phoned Gideon and told him she was leaving New York and making a new start in LA with her brother, Gideon wished her well and then blocked her number from his phone" I say.

"LA?" my dad says in surprise.

"Yep, she's your side of the country now and she can stay there," I say.

The silence spreads out between us for a moment before my dad speaks again, "So what else have you been up to?" he asks in a forced bright voice.

I smile at that, "What haven't I been doing, I quit my job" I say.

"WHAT?!" he yells.

"I quit my job after they accused me of being a corporate spy for Gideon" I say.

Then I continue quickly before my dad can question me further on that.

"I am starting a foundation for people who have been raped and abused, and Gideon is supporting me with that, I am using the money I got as compensation from Nathan's dad to start it up. I would never use that money for anything else, and so I should use it for some good," I say.

I pause a moment as I recall all the stuff I can't tell him about.

"Gideon bought me a beach house, and I'm there right now actually," I say eventually.

"A what?" my dad asks.

I giggle, "A beach house at the Outer Banks in North Carolina, he brought me here once before for a weekend soon after we first met, and we had such a good time he bought the place and presented it to me as a wedding present, and we are here right now, and the next time you fly out to visit I will bring you here, you would love it," I say earnestly.

I stop as nothing else that has happened I can divulge, all the stuff about Anne Lucas and Gideon and my confrontation with Dr Lucas is all off limits.

"Sounds like you have been a busy girl," my dad says carefully.

"Just a bit," I say.

We talk a while longer then eventually we say our goodbyes, as always I tell him to stay safe and that I love him and I hang up.

Gideon pushes away from the door frame where he has been leaning, just watching and listening and comes to sit with me.

"Is Victor alright?" he asks neutrally.

I smile, "He's fine, shocked to the core by what I told him about Corinne, but he gets it now," I say.

Gideon reaches for me and grasps my hand, "I don't ever, ever want to come between you and your father, I need you to know that, and I never want you to feel that you ever have to choose between us" he says.

I smile and reach up to touch his face, he closes his eyes and pushes into my touch. "I know," I say simply.

**oooOOOooo**

After a totally wonderful and relaxing weekend at the beach house, I was once again reluctant to leave.

But now a new week faces us and new challenges, today Mark joins Cross Industries and he had made a point of telling me on Friday at the club that he would definitely call me today once he had all the information on how to get me to join him there.

I am also meeting Gideon for lunch today as he said he wants to introduce me to the board members of his Crossroads charity, he said he wants to make that introduction so I can tell them of my plans for my foundation and he said so I could be more involved with his. I had melted when he had said that, touched immensely that he wants me to play a part in something so personal to him. So at this moment, I am putting together all my notes that I have made and organising them so they look reasonable, and so I won't embarrass my husband or myself when I produce them.

This leads me on to thinking about Dr Lucas once again, and my overwhelming need to make him pay for what he did, especially as there now seem to be lingering doubts as to Elizabeth's sincerity, I feel the need to destroy Lucas to give Gideon something if his mother lets him down once again.

With that in mind I grab my laptop and start to research, I find a website for the department of health for New York state in Albany and start there, I find what I am looking for very quickly and start to read the procedure of how to report a physician of malpractice. After I have finished reading I am left with more questions than I had to begin, with but I feel that Gideon does have a case even though what Dr Lucas did was many years previously. I find a phone number and this makes my mind up for me and without another moment's doubt, I pick my phone up and dial the number.

"New York Department of Health Malpractice Complaints, how can I help you?" a female voice says.

I clear my throat, "yes good morning, I am enquiring into how to report a historic case of malpractice and if that was technically possible?" I ask.

There is a silence, "We only accept historic cases if they are linked to the abuse of a minor," the woman says.

"Excellent, as that is exactly what it is about," I say my hopes rising significantly upon hearing that.

"Ok, if I could take some details from you, ma'am," the woman says politely.

I sigh, "This is slightly delicate, as I am calling on behalf of someone else," I say.

"Right, ok," she says.

I can tell she is now thinking I am a time waster and I don't want that to happen.

"Look, if I could make an appointment to come in person to speak to someone, as I say it is quite a delicate matter," I say.

"Sure I can do that for you, if you give me your name and whereabouts in New York State you are based," the woman says, I can tell now she is just going through the motions.

"Certainly, my name is Mrs Eva Cross and I reside in Manhatten, New York City," I say.

There is a long silence, "Cross?" the woman says her tone immediately changing.

"That is correct," I say.

"Ok ma'am I have an appointment tomorrow at 11:25 am is that ok with you?" she says very politely.

"Thank you so much," I say.

"Pleasure ma'am so that's 11:25 am here in Albany, do you need me to send you directions?" she asks.

"No that's fine, I got the address from the website and I have a driver, he will know where to go, thank you for your help," I say.

"No problem ma'am, have a nice day," the woman says.

"You too," I say and then I hang up and immediately call Raul.

"Mrs Cross," he says as he answers.

"Hi Raul, tomorrow morning I have an appointment in Albany, how long will it take to drive there?" I ask.

"Not long, about 2 ½ hours" he replies.

"Ok, well it's at 11:25 would you be able to take me?" I ask.

"Certainly ma'am, does Mr Cross know about this visit?" he asks.

"Not yet" I reply with a roll of my eyes, "but he will do as I am going to tell him when I meet him for lunch," I say.

"No problem," he says, "Is that all Mrs Cross?" he adds.

"That's all thanks, Raul," I say.

"No problem, I'll be waiting downstairs around 11:30 to take you to the Crossfire," he says.

I thank him once more and hang up, I have barely done so when my phone buzzes in my hand I look and see it is Gideon calling me so I quickly answer.

"Hey," I say warmly.

"Angel" he replies with equal heat in his voice.

"What's up?" I ask.

"I thought you might like to know I have just found out that Anne Lucas has filed for divorce," he says quietly.

"Good to know," I say, "especially considering my phone call a moment ago" I add deciding to tell him now, as I don't doubt Raul will tell Gideon that I have asked him to take me to Albany tomorrow.

"Oh?" he says and I can tell his curiosity has peaked and I have his full attention.

"Yep, I'm filing charges against Dr Lucas, for historic malpractice, I have an appointment tomorrow morning in Albany to discuss it," I say, then I wonder if I have done the right thing just blurting it out the way I did, and not to mention if I should have discussed it with him first.

There is a long silence, which makes me worry even more but when Gideon does speak again his voice is thick with emotion, "thank you" he says, and I almost sag with relief.

I quickly recover and respond confidently, "We're a team remember, I have your back, you have mine, I slay your demons just as you slain mine," I say.

"Is it possible to do this, as it has been so long?" he asks.

"I think so, I made a call and asked the question, I was told historic complaints were only considered in cases of abuse against minors – which this was, I know it wasn't Dr Lucas who abused you but his lies did as much damage as the actual abuse," I say confidently.

"I see," he says.

"And it's not as if I don't have enough evidence, he damn well admitted it and I have that confession on tape, and two witnesses to back it up," I say.

"Very true," he says.

"Plus it won't hurt, you being who you are," I add as I remember the change of attitude after I gave the woman my name.

What Gideon says next almost floors me, "I will come with you," he says quietly but firmly.

"Erm...yeah, sure, of course, I mean after all it's you this is about," I say. "I was going to take Raul in with me as he witnessed the confession even though he was out in the car and I was going to give Chris a heads up as I was going to name him as the other witness," I add.

"Alright," he agrees.

My morning passes quickly and all too soon I am leaving to go to the Crossfire to meet Gideon for lunch, I take a look at myself in the mirror in the elevator, checking I look ok, as my appearance will reflect on Gideon and I want this meeting to go well.

I arrive at the Crossfire in good time and make my way up to the top floor, I pull out the key which Gideon had returned to me this morning before he left, telling me that it now would take me straight to the top of the Crossfire building to the 22nd floor where Cross Industries resides. I push it in and all the lights go out except the top floor and I am soon on my way. I pull the key out as the elevator comes to a halt and the doors open.

I am buzzed into the offices quickly and the red-haired receptionist greets me warmly, I smile and return the greeting before heading towards my husband's office.

Scott stands as he sees me approach, "Good morning Mrs Cross, you can go straight in, he's waiting for you" he says politely.

I thank him and push open the door, and there he is, my eyes fall on the too hot for his own good, sexy prime alpha male that is my husband, my breath catches as once again I marvel that this man is mine. He lifts his head from the computer screen he was peering at and the look he gives me makes me go weak at the knees.

"Angel," he says, immediately reaching for the button to frost the walls.

A moment later the walls of his office are totally opaque. I close the door behind me and walk towards him, he stands and comes to meet me half way.

As he does so my phone buzzes I pull it out and giggle, as the call is from Mark.

I show Gideon my phone and a smile plays on his lips at the fact that at this moment I am probably only feet away from Mark. I sit down on the sofa in one of the seating areas as I take the call.

"Hi Mark," I say brightly.

"Eva, hi, listen, there is a procedure, you will have to apply much like you did before, interviews will start early next week and by the end of next week I get to decide who I want, which is you of course so, you need to apply in writing giving this reference number do you have a pen?" he says.

"Hang on," I say and I walk over to Gideon's desk and grab a pen and his notepad, "Ready," I say.

"CIMK3408," he says, I repeat the code back to him and he confirms it.

"Thanks, Mark," I say and I hang up.

Gideon is watching me amusement on his face, "you do realise I could have got you that code at any point" he says.

I scowl, "I know that, but I am doing this without your help, remember?" I retort.

"I remember," he says, then he steps forward and reaches for me, "let's go to lunch," he says.

Angus is waiting at the kerb and Gideon shepherds me into the back of the Bentley. We soon pull up outside a small restaurant and we head inside, we are met by someone who quickly takes us to our table, Gideon tells them that we are waiting for several other guests to arrive.

I pull out my notes and quickly go through them once more as we wait.

Suddenly Gideon stands and I look up to see seven people walking towards us, four men and three women, I swallow deeply I wasn't expecting so many and suddenly I feel very nervous.

I feel Gideon wrap his arm around me, "You'll be fine" he whispers in my ear. He quickly introduces me and the board members take their places around the table.

First of all the CEO Cindy Bello leans forward to speak, "Eva, first of all I would like to thank you, as your idea of adding Crossroads to the personal bio on the Cross Industries website was inspired and has increased the traffic to the foundation website by nearly 45%."

"Really?" I say I hadn't realised that small change would have such a massive impact but it pleases me immensely.

One of the men, Gideon introduced as Graham Sutton speaks next, "Gideon told us that you were considering launching your own foundation in partnership with Crossroads."

I nod, "I am, I have very personal reasons for doing this but I'm not sure where to start, I want to provide something which will complement what is already on offer out there," I say. There is a murmur of agreement around the table, "I also want to take an active role in Crossroads, I don't want to just use the Crossroads name as a springboard for my own charity, it's just finding some way I can be useful and make a meaningful contribution," I say.

Another chorus of agreement follows that and Lynn Feng leans forward, I search my mind and remember Gideon introduced her as VP of Operations. "Well now that you come to mention it, I might have just the way you can contribute," she says.

"Oh?" I say immediately interested.

"Many of our recipients want to thank and acknowledge Crossroads for its support, they hold fundraisers and charity dinners and there are many times where they would like to have Gideon there to accept on behalf of the foundation but because of his busy schedule that isn't always possible," she says.

I look at my husband, I bet it isn't, he hates to acknowledge that Crossroads is anything to do with him even though he set it up and funds it.

"So, my thought is you might consider stepping into that role? Representing Crossroads at such events and accepting on behalf of Gideon and the foundation," she says.

I stare at her, "You're kidding?" I blurt out, I take a shot look once more at Gideon, "But come on, I'm not much of a consolation prize," I say.

"Eva" Gideon says immediately, and I can hear the disapproval as he says that, I look at him and he gives me a 'don't you dare put yourself down' look, but I continue staring defiantly at my husband now.

"I'm not being modest here, why would anyone want to hear me speak? I mean I've seen you speak Gideon, you are amazing, and offering me up in your place just creates an... I don't know... obligation, and that's not helpful to anyone," I say.

"When you have quite finished," he says the bite of his voice evident, he isn't happy with what I have said.

I open my mouth to argue some more but he holds up his hand, "Eva stop, and listen a moment, look at the people in your life and how you have helped them," he pauses, and raises his eyebrows and gives me a significant look, I realise what he is saying.

"But" I argue.

"Eva, you could deliver a powerful message, I've seen the notes you have been making and your plans," he points to the papers I have in a pile at the side of me, "Do I need to read out loud some of them to make you realise what you could do?" he adds.

"If I could also add something here," Lynn says, leaning forward once more. I take my shocked gaze from my husband and focus on her.

"It wouldn't be an obligation, I can see what you are trying to say, but when these situations arise, and Gideon can't make it, one us goes instead, but if you went, that would be less of a supposed obligation than if we did, you are a member of the Cross family, you are Gideon's wife, who will have a foundation in her own right which is linked to Crossroads, you won't be a consolation, and I assure you nobody would be disappointed," she says.

I think about that, and I can't argue with it, _the Cross family _that takes me by surprise, of course, I am, I am Gideon's wife, have I not been telling him repeatedly that we are a team? This is the best way to make that point I want to get across to everyone who wants to hurt us that we are solid.

If I represent Gideon at these functions, something which is so personal to him, it is sending out a clear message that we really are 'Team Cross.' Plus there is the fact Gideon has worked so hard to raise the Cross name from the depths of infamy that his late father left it. He has overcome so much to change what people associated with the Cross name.

I am his wife, I now have the surname Cross, so it is my place as his wife to help him maintain that reputation, and then I think of the baby I am carrying. This baby will also have the surname Cross and it is up to me as much as Gideon, to make sure that our child grows up proud of who they are.

I slowly nod my head, "Ok" I say eventually. I watch as Gideon reaches for me and squeezes my hand tightly.

I look at him, "Team Cross" he murmurs, almost as if he was reading my mind and I smile.

I look around the table, "Ok, I'll do it" I say firmly.

Lynn claps her hands together "Excellent" she says and as I continue to gauge everyone else's reaction to my decision I see that they all seem to be delighted.

The rest of the lunch goes well, I talk through my ideas and how I want to organise some sort of press conference to launch my foundation, and ideas are batted around the table and suddenly an idea hits me, an idea which is so obvious that I am shocked I hadn't thought of it before.

I haven't got any notes prepared for this so I just wing it.

"I think my foundation will differ from others as I won't just concentrate on offering help for the victims," everyone looks surprised and they are immediately interested.

"What I am proposing is help for family members, who are often as traumatised and damaged by what has happened to their loved ones as the victims themselves" I say as I think of recent events, how upset my dad was when he found out about Nathan, how my mom nearly drowned in the self-recrimination she heaped upon herself and how what had happened to me had turned her into an over protective stalker.

I think of what Gideon's family is going through, Chris's reaction, how helpless and guilt ridden he feels that he never knew and also Christopher who actually heard Gideon being abused as a small child and is now filled with shame because he did nothing and lied to his mother about what he had heard.

"Also," I pause as I remember how destroyed Nathan's dad was when he found out about what Nathan had done and also how devastated Anne Lucas was when I confronted her.

"The family of the abuser, they are often the forgotten victims, they feel the pain and shame of what their family member did, but there are very few organisations available to help them, and are often ostracised due to their link with the abuser," I say.

I see nods and hear murmurs of agreement, "that is something I would never have considered" one of the other men who hasn't spoken until this point says.

I see Gideon move suddenly, "I hate to cut this short but I have an afternoon appointment coming up and I need to go, I could be generous and leave Eva here with you, but I won't," he says with a smile.

He stands and holds out his hand to me, "Ready Angel?" he says.

I stand and gather up my papers and pick up my purse and tucking them under my arm I hold out my free hand and I shake hands with everyone who has also now stood up.

"I'm ready," I say as I slip my hand into his and he leads me from the restaurant.


	23. Chapter 23

**AUTHORS NOTE: I just want to make it clear that I have no idea what is involved in reporting malpractice of a physician in the United States or if historical cases are even able to be reported. The only accuracies are the name of the body who oversees complaints about New York State and the fact the offices are based in Albany – I got these two pieces of information from the internet. I am based in the UK so have no idea what the procedure is in the USA, so essentially I am making this up as I go along and also using a healthy dose of artistic licence, so please bear this in mind as you read it.**

CHAPTER 23

After lunch, Angus and Gideon drop me off at the Penthouse, before Gideon heads back to work and after he comprehensively kisses me goodbye, I head inside.

After getting together my application for the position of Mark's assistant I decide to prepare for my meeting tomorrow in Albany.

When I am certain I cannot prepare anymore, I call Raul and ask him if he would be prepared to come into the meeting with us and stand up as a witness to what he heard, when he was listening in, in the car. He agrees immediately and that leads me on to think about Chris as he was in the actual room with me at the time and I reach for my phone to call him.

"Hello," he says when he answers in his usual laid back way.

"Hi Chris," I say brightly.

"Eva, how are you?" he asks kindly.

"I'm good thanks, listen I have something to tell you and to ask you," I say.

"Oh ok, I'm all ears," he says, immediately interested.

"I am looking into reporting Dr Lucas for malpractice, for what he did and I have an appointment at the The New York State Health Department's Office of Professional Medical Conduct, in Albany tomorrow morning, Raul has agreed to come and stand as witness to what Dr Lucas confessed and I was wondering if you would like to come and also stand as a witness?" I ask and then wait for Chris's response.

"Certainly, what time is the appointment?" he asks without any hesitation.

"11:25 tomorrow morning," I say.

"Count me in," he says, "Will they accept this complaint considering how long ago it was?" he asks.

"I phoned them and the person I spoke to said they only accept historical complaints in the case of abuse against a minor, which this technically was, I know it wasn't Dr Lucas who did the actually abuse, but it was linked, plus I'm kind of hoping, who Gideon is might twist their arm if they are reluctant to take the case" I say.

"Hmmm," Chris says, and I go cold at his response.

"What?" I ask, immediately concerned by that less than inspiring sound he made.

"Does Gideon know you are going?" he asks carefully.

"He does and he said that he is coming with me as well," I say.

"That is what I am concerned about," he says.

"Why?" I ask, I am confused now and I am wondering why Chris seems so reluctant.

I hear Chris sigh, "Eva, Gideon has had a lifetime of denial and knockbacks regarding this, he is only now, 17 years down the line getting a positive reaction to telling his story, and he has changed Eva, it has changed him, for the better, and I don't want to set him back if you don't get the response you are hoping for," Chris says gently but with a definite ring of concern.

"But, we have the confession, we heard him confess?" I say confused as to what Chris is getting at.

"I accept that, I was there and heard it with my own ears, but what if... what if it is just too long ago and they refuse to do anything because of the length of time that has elapsed? Lucas himself bragged that the Statute of Limitations had long since expired for any legal challenges, so there is every concern that they may not even consider this, and if they don't, well I don't want to think about what that will do to Gideon," he says.

I sit back in my chair, I hadn't thought of that.

"But" I argue, and then stop and sigh, understanding what Chris is saying and the possible ramifications that will have on Gideon if what he is saying is correct.

"Look Eva, I don't want to rain on your parade, it is clear you have put a lot of effort into this, and it is admirable that you are fighting for Gideon like this, and you know I totally stand beside you in that fight for him to get his justice, which he has been wrongly denied for so long, but you just need to consider that it _was_ a long time ago and they may not want to deal with it as a result, and if they don't, you need to consider the impact that will have on Gideon," Chris says.

"Yeah, I get what you are saying," I say, now wondering if I am doing the right thing and second guessing myself.

"Look, I could just be pessimistic and totally wrong and everything will be fine, I just felt obliged to make you aware of what could happen, of course, you should pursue it, as there is no way at all Lucas should be practicing after what he did, and I will stand beside you and do my utmost to make sure they see that too" he says, "and if the worst does happen I'll also be there to help you deal with the fallout," he adds.

"Thank you" I reply.

I spend the rest of the day obsessively going through every scrap of information I have and drafting out notes for possible scenarios to how this could go and my response to try and persuade them to do the right thing, I feel as though I am driving myself insane and in the end I call the OPMC at the Department of Health once more.

I recognise the voice as soon as the person answers as the woman I previously spoke to.

"Good Afternoon, this is Mrs Cross, I have an appointment tomorrow morning in Albany to report malpractice and I have a few questions," I say.

"Good Afternoon Ma'am how can I help?" the woman says politely.

"Well, I spoke to someone and they informed me that historic cases were only considered in the case of abuse against a minor?" I begin.

"Yes ma'am that is correct, and it was me you spoke with, I remember your call," the woman says.

I smile, I bet she did!

"Oh, great!" I say, "Well, my point is all this happened about 17 years ago, is that too long?" I ask and I hold my breath.

There is a pause, "No ma'am, there is a cutoff point for obvious reasons, as pursuing historical complaints can produce problems of gaining suitable substantial and provable evidence, so we set an arbitrary deadline of twenty years," she says.

"Ok, well evidence isn't an issue in this case as I have managed to secure the confession of the person concerned," I say.

"A confession, oh I see!" she says, clearly surprised by that revelation.

"Yes, he seemed to be confident that as it happened such a long time ago he wouldn't be called to account for his actions, and didn't see the problem in confessing to what he did, in fact, he almost bragged about it, he was so confident that he was untouchable," I say.

"That's terrible ma'am," the woman says.

"Indeed it is, considering this man is currently a practicing paediatrician, now one further question, the person we are pursuing _isn't_ the actual abuser, but he used his position to shield the abuser, by lying and falsifying information and test results which has caused the victim to suffer further untold damage and distress over the years, it is quite complicated, will that be a factor?" I say.

"Well, as it is all linked to the abuse of a minor... and I am assuming we are talking about sexual abuse, there shouldn't be any issue, it will still be looked at and investigated," she says.

"Thank you so much, that is all I needed to know, as due to the actions of the person concerned the victim has felt disbelieved and alienated and he has never received the justice he deserved and therefore never got the closure he deserved, so with all that in mind I was a little concerned that if you refused to look into it this would have a further detrimental effect on him," I say.

"I can understand that, but rest assured we will look into it ma'am, especially if you have evidence of a confession," the woman says.

"Thank you, that is all I wanted to ask, thank you so much for your help," I say gratefully.

"No problem ma'am, you have a nice day now," she says.

"And you, thank you, goodbye," I say.

Feeling much more confident I fire off a text to Chris to reassure him that we will definitely be heard.

_**Called OPMC again after we spoke – twenty years is cut off point so we are ok, Eva**_

His reply comes quickly and is very positive.

_**That's brilliant, count me in I will do all I can to help Gideon get his justice, Chris.**_

**oooOOOooo**

_The next day..._

We arrive at the Department of Health Offices in good time. The drive was a quiet one, Raul didn't say anything, and Chris wasn't too talkative either and the closer we got the more tightly reigned in Gideon became.

I offer him my hand he grabs it squeezing a little too tightly.

"If you don't want to come in its ok," I say gently.

"No," he says emphatically, "I need to do this," he adds.

"Ok," I say soothingly, and I run my hand up and down his arm in my now ritual way of trying to calm and relax him.

As we walk in, heads turn and a stunned silence falls over everyone in the small reception area.

I quickly take charge and beam widely at the woman at the reception desk.

"Good morning, we have an appointment at 11:25 in the OPMC office," I say.

The woman looks down at a computer screen, and then glancing briefly at Gideon says, "Mrs Cross?"

I nod, it does take some getting used to, now having people know exactly who I am without giving my name.

"That's right," I say.

"If you would like to follow the corridor down there," she says standing and pointing, "and when you get to the end, turn left and the reception office you want is the fourth door on the right, but it is clearly marked," she says.

"Thank you so much," I say.

"No problem, I'll call down now and let them know you are here and on your way," she says.

Gideon grasps my hand once more and we make our way towards the office. When we arrive we are greeted by a small older woman with bright intelligent green eyes, she holds out her hand to me and smiles brightly.

"Mrs Cross, my name is Yvonne Vickery, and I am the person who you spoke to when you called, I'll take you through, your appointment is with Dr Marion Bletchford and Dr Morris Standforth, they will hear your complaint and they advise you of the direction the investigation will take," she says.

I greet her warmly by accepting the handshake and saying a quick hello and then I acknowledge her with a nod of understanding.

We are led through to another office where there is a large table and around it are seated two people who I am assuming are the people we are seeing. They both stand as soon as we enter and both look clearly overawed at the sight of my husband, but to their credit, they remember it is me they are meant to be seeing and both greet me and invite us to sit down. I quickly go through the introductions as everyone takes their places.

"Good morning and thank you for seeing us, I'll just introduce everyone who is with me so that you are fully aware of who they are and why they are here," I say with more confidence than I am actually feeling at this moment.

I wave my hand towards Raul, "This is Raul Huerta, he is employed by my husband and part of his role is to act as personal security for me, he is here because he witnessed the physician in question confess to what he did."

I turn my attention to Chris next, "this is Chris Vidal, he is my husband's stepfather and he accompanied me when I went to see the physician and he too witnessed the confession".

I smile wryly as I wave my hand at Gideon, "And as I'm sure you are all aware, this is Gideon Cross, he is my husband, but he is also the victim in this case and why I am here pursuing this complaint" I say.

I glance at Gideon who is giving nothing away as he has his impassive CEO mask firmly in place and is sitting like a statue at my side.

I hear the sharp intake of breath at my revelation that Gideon is the victim but I ignore it and plough on, I lay out all my notes in front of me and Raul pulls a digital recorder from his pocket and pushes it across the table towards me. I mouth the words 'thank you' to him as I grasp it and pull it towards me.

"Ok then," I say and take a deep breath.

"Mrs Cross if you could tell us the specifics of the complaint, we will take it from there," Dr Bletchford says.

I nod, and clearing my throat I begin to speak.

"When my husband was a child, he went through a very traumatic time when his father died and as he got older his mother and stepfather decided that it would be advisable to put him into therapy to help him come to terms with everything that had happened. A therapist was engaged and she agreed to conduct the sessions from the family home, so that Gideon felt safe and secure," I pause considering the irony of that fact.

"When she came, she had a doctoral candidate with her to assist her. As time went on, more and more issues were uncovered and as a result, the therapist seemed to spend more of her time with Gideon's mother counselling her, and Gideon was left alone with the doctoral candidate. To begin with, nothing untoward happened but as time progressed he started making advances towards Gideon who was by this point around 11/12 years old. He started out sitting closer and hugging Gideon, nothing too sinister, then my husband remembers he started discussing puberty with him and telling him he had puberty hormones which were causing his outbursts of anger, and to relieve the anger he was feeling, he should begin masturbating," I pause as the male doctor lets out an indignant gasp.

"I apologise Mrs Cross please continue," Dr Standforth says.

I nod and carry on, "Gideon said he made it seem normal even though he wasn't sure about what was happening, and he asked Gideon if he knew how to do it, and encouraged Gideon to show him, which he did, and he told him that he was doing it wrong and that he would show him how to do it, and he touched him, that was how the abuse started, things escalated from that point and as Gideon realised that this wasn't right, the abuser became more aggressive, culminating in him raping my husband. This continued for a period of time before my husband gained the courage to tell his mother what had happened to him".

The two people in front of me are staring at me mortified and dumbstruck by what I have just told them. I glance at Gideon who is showing no emotion whatsoever and I wonder for a brief moment what he is thinking, but I carry on, describing what happened next.

"His mother took him to a paediatrician, to get the proof needed to press charges, Gideon is unclear about that doctor's name but we have established that it was either Robson, Robinson or Roberts. This physician was unable to physically examine Gideon as he understandably reacted badly when someone touched that part of his body, and the paediatrician told his mother that he was unable to get any physical evidence, but in his opinion Gideon's reaction proved that something bad had happened, so Gideon's mother sought a second opinion and she was referred to a Dr Terrance Lucas and it is Dr Lucas who this complaint is about." I stop and watch as they write down that name.

"Gideon's mother told Dr Lucas about the abuse Gideon had suffered and that she needed physical evidence to press charges, unfortunately, she also told Dr Lucas the name of the abuser and it turned out that, that person - the abuser, paedophile, whatever you want to describe him as, was coincidentally his brother in law. Dr Lucas went through the motions and sedated Gideon and examined him, which in itself was an ordeal for him, as he remembers the examination and he felt as though he was being violated again, which in essence he was, as it was a pointless procedure because Dr Lucas then falsified the results of the evidence he had found and told his mother there was no evidence of rape, he did this to protect his brother in law and his wife. Dr Lucas is still practising as a paediatrician in New York and I feel that after what he did, after making that decision to lie to the mother of a child who had been raped. Well, I find it wrong on so many levels that he holds such a position of trust, not only as a physician but also as a physician who specialises in treating children, and I strongly believe that he shouldn't be allowed to continue, especially after his reaction when he confessed to what he had done, and I strenuously believe that he should have his medical accreditation removed". I stop and wait.

"What evidence do you have to back up these shocking claims, you say he confessed?" Dr Standforth says.

I point at the digital recorder, "Yes, Dr Lucas confessing to me what he did and that conversation was captured here, that confession was witnessed by Chris Vidal who was in the room with me at the time and by Raul Huerta who was outside the car listening in to the conversation through a transmitter I had attached to my person, and he recorded the entire conversation. We have also managed to get access to footage from the security cameras in Dr Lucas's office and if they are played at the same time as the audio footage you can see they tally and provide conclusive evidence," I say.

"Do you have the visual footage available with you today?" Dr Bletchford asks.

I nod and I reach into my purse for the small flash drive containing the security camera footage. I glance around the room and watch as Dr Standforth goes to fetch a laptop, he switches it on and takes the flash drive from me and plugs it in. With shaking hands I start the digital recorder and moments later mine and Dr Lucas's voices can clearly be heard.

I watch as the two people in front of me listen carefully and have their eyes glued to the screen, as the evidence unfolds. As it comes to an end, and I noticed that Raul ended this recording at the point where he called my cell there is a deathly silence, I switch off the recorder and Dr Standforth unplugs the flash drive and shuts the laptop, without a word he hands it back to me.

"I'm speechless," he says eventually.

Dr Bletchford steps in at this point, her attention now on Gideon. "Mr Cross can you tell us why it has taken you until now to bring this matter to our attention?"

I watch as Gideon stiffens and gives her an icy glare.

"I was 11/12 years old, and I was effectively branded an attention seeking liar by a health professional, my mother believed him and as a result I was then alienated from my family, I left home and made my way in the world, and ruthlessly tried suppress the memories of that time because I just assumed that if I spoke of it nobody would believe me, it wasn't until I met my wife and she witnessed the nightmares I suffered regularly, as a result of the abuse, and she got me to talk about it, she believed me and since then she has tirelessly worked to get the evidence to provide the proof to my family that it _did_ happen and to make Dr Lucas accountable for his actions".

The two people nod, and then look towards Chris, "when did you learn about the abuse Mr Vidal?" Dr Bletchford asks a distinct edge in her voice.

Chris shakes his head sadly, "I had no idea until about a week or so ago something like that, my wife had never told me what happened, had she done so I would have pursued the matter further. She didn't even tell me that Gideon had gone to her asking for help, as you can imagine I am very upset about this, and now that I do know I am supporting Gideon as much as I can to help him get the justice he was denied all those years ago".

"Thank you Mr Vidal" Dr Standforth says, and then they look at Raul who is also sitting impassively just watching the proceedings.

"Mr Huerta, I am a little unclear as to why and how you managed to witness the proceedings?" Dr Bletchford asks.

Raul smiles, "I am the deputy chief security advisor to Mr Cross, my direct superior is Mr Angus McLeod and he is the Chief Security Advisor and I am answerable to him and Mr Cross. Mr Cross has an extensive security team, but personal protection for him and now also Mrs Cross fall exclusively to myself and Angus.

Mrs Cross made me aware of her intention to go and confront Lucas, and I insisted that she wear a receiver so that I could listen to her conversation. It was felt if I accompanied her into the office he would probably not be so forthcoming. It was agreed that I would sit in the car outside and if I felt the situation was getting out of control I would call Mrs Cross and tell her to remove herself and Mr Vidal from the premises. We believed there was no immediate danger to Mrs Cross, which is why this course of action was taken".

The two people nod in understanding and Raul continues.

"The receiver Mrs Cross was wearing enabled me to hear everything that was being said, through my earpiece and I had that attached to a digital recorder and recorded the conversation in its entirety, it is state of the art security equipment," he says.

They then proceed to ask a series of practical questions namely the address of the offices where Dr Lucas practices from and Gideon quickly answers those. Eventually, the meeting comes to an end and I look hopefully at the two people as I pass across all of my notes.

"Would it be possible for us to obtain a copy of the visual and audio footage?" Dr Bletchford asks and Raul nods.

"No problem I can get that to you within 24 hours," he says.

Dr Bletchford thanks him and returns her attention to me, "As far as I can see this is a very straightforward case and it will be placed in front of the board and the wheels will be set in motion to strip Dr Lucas of his licence to practice and his accreditation, we will be in touch to inform you when that will start and when it is successfully completed, please rest assured that this information will be treated in the strictest confidence and I assure you of our best intentions to get this matter resolved quickly and effectively."

I stand and offer my hand, "thank you, that is all we want, as I don't believe he has any business practising as a paediatrician, of all things, if he is capable of covering up something as serious as child abuse and rape," I say.

"I totally agree with you Mrs Cross," Dr Standforth says.

They shake Gideon's hand and assure him once more that they will do everything they can to get this dealt with quickly. I watch my husband's reaction to this and once again I see the look of bewildered surprise that someone believes that it happened and is now on board and helping him get his rightful justice.

I watch as he shakes their hand warmly, "Thank you for your time today," Gideon says politely.

"Not at all Mr Cross, thank you for taking the time to bring this to our attention," Dr Bletchford says.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

_Three weeks later..._

So much has happened in the past three weeks, it's been a whirlwind of activity. To begin with, we entered a new month, and now we are well into September, which only gives us three months till Christmas and our vow renewal which has been handed over to the Regent Hotel here in New York to organise. Something, which I am certain my mother wasn't totally on board about.

After the visit to Albany to officially place the complaint against Dr Lucas we received a phone call followed by a letter 3 days later to say the wheels had officially been set in motion to strip Dr Lucas of his licence to practice medicine. As a point of courtesy, we had informed Anne of this development and she had told us that she was filing for divorce, a fact we already knew but we didn't mention that. Since then we have heard nothing, but I'm sure that we will be informed when the process is completed and Dr Lucas is brought to account.

I have also reached the twelve-week point in my pregnancy, I touch my stomach unconsciously as I think about it. We have announced the fact privately to the family which immediately brought an overload of excitement from Ireland who was overjoyed at the prospect of being an aunt. My mother was oddly subdued but insisted she was happy for us, dad was initially shocked but delighted at the prospect of being a grandfather. Chris had hugged Gideon tightly and told him he will make a wonderful father and I think that had touched Gideon greatly, Christopher had even given him his congratulations. Things are still quite awkward between the two but they are attending therapy sessions together and slowly their relationship is improving, but I think it is all a question of time.

Sadly, Elizabeth has been notably silent, it became apparent very quickly that her motives for the apology and recognition that Gideon had been abused were purely selfish, she had wanted Chris to halt the divorce proceedings and she wanted everything to go back as it was, just as Chris had assumed.

She was shocked when she discovered that none of that was going to happen. Within the week she left Vidal Manor and the last we heard she has got herself a house up in Boston and is now living there alone, and none of us has heard from her since.

Gideon has been matter of fact about it, he had confided in me when I asked him if he was ok that he had, had his doubts about her sincerity from the beginning, but he also told me that it was enough for him that she acknowledged that she now believed something had happened to him even though her motives for it were not for his peace of mind. I find it quite sad that he has just accepted his mother's latest rejection so willingly, I can't imagine ever treating our child the way Elizabeth has treated Gideon all his life. The only thing I can put it down to is that she clearly is missing something important materially.

When we publicly announced the pregnancy after we had told the family, it created a maelstrom of reaction in the media. Questions were raised in some quarters as to whether or not Gideon had lied in the interview when he had categorically said I wasn't pregnant, but we managed to shut that one down quickly.

Another surprise to arise from our announcement was that Corinne had tried to contact Gideon, she couldn't reach him via his cell because he had previously blocked her so she called him at work and he had refused to take the call, he had told me immediately and since then we have heard nothing more from her. I'm not sure what that was all about and I hope it doesn't lead to another round of confrontation with her, I can't help but think she gave up too easily but that could be just my lingering insecurities and paranoia talking. At least that's what I hope it is!

I get a warm feeling inside as I remember Gideon's reaction at seeing our baby on the twelve-week scan, he was totally mesmerised. Dr Marshall had been right, it did indeed look like a baby now and according to her everything was going well.

Professionally, I have applied for and started my position as Mark's assistant at Cross Industries and now we are stretching ourselves and our abilities working on marketing campaigns for many of Gideon's subsidiaries and also we have been participating on the much-hyped imminent launch of the new GenTen gaming console Cross Industries has been developing and which is due to be released shortly, in time for Christmas.

Mark is in his element, and he has said many times that moving to Cross Industries was the best thing he ever did and he is flourishing as a result and because he is so happy it is having a knock-on effect for me and my work and I am learning new things every day.

Gideon is still pushing for me to take an additional role in his PR department, and I am still saying no, and we had quite an argument about it the other evening when he had once again brought the subject up and I had categorically told him if he wasn't satisfied with the work I was doing in his marketing department I could very easily leave and go and get a job elsewhere, that had stopped him in his tracks, and he has backed off considerably since that point.

As well as my day to day work, I have been working hard on the launch of my foundation which will finally be happening tonight at a charity gala here in New York, my dad has flown out especially to support me and he will be at our table during the dinner, I am a little concerned as this is the lifestyle my mother left him for, high society galas and charity dinners, but he had insisted that if his little girl was going to be telling her story, then he was going to damn well be there and support me, he had taken some leave and Gideon had kept his word and flown him to New York. He is staying in our guest room and commented that he wouldn't want to go home after sleeping in Gideon's huge sleigh bed which is now installed in there.

Thinking about my father inevitably gets me thinking about my mother, her reaction couldn't have been more different, she isn't speaking to me at the moment as she is mortified that I am going to go public about the abuse I suffered, as she believes it reflects badly on her and that people will blame her, I had told her that was rubbish and that it wasn't about her, but she isn't having any of it.

Richard has been calling me and trying to play mediator, saying she will come around, but her response has been hurtful and I can't understand why she did it. But then again my mother does a lot of things I don't understand. I have spent the past week liaising with Cary about what is going to happen and when I told him I was going to 'out' myself he had immediately offered to do the same, I had told him this wasn't necessary, but he had insisted saying he wanted to be taken seriously and that if he was going to be the public face of my foundation then he wanted everyone to know that he had a damn good reason for doing it, and not just because he was my too handsome for his own good male model best friend. There was no way I could argue with that.

I had also contacted George Barker, Nathan's dad, and explained what I was going to do and how part of my foundation was going to help the families of the abusers as they also suffered terribly from their family members actions, he had immediately offered his support and asked if he too could come and speak and tell his story, which had been unexpected, but which I had immediately agreed to so I am hoping that this launch will be the start of something really productive.

My phone buzzing pulls me from my musings.

"Hello," I say as I answer.

"Eva love" the kind voice of my stepfather reaches me.

"Richard... erm hi, what can I do for you?" I ask.

"I'm just calling to wish you good luck for tonight," he says.

I smile, "Thank you, that's very kind of you," I say.

"You should also know, your mother and I will be attending tonight after all," he says.

"Really?" I gasp.

"Yes really, Gideon came by to see her today and spoke to her for a long time, I have no idea what was said between them but when she came out she had changed her mind and said we were now definitely going," he says.

"I knew she would come around and so I never cancelled our places" he adds.

"Well thank you for letting me know, you should know that my father has flown in from San Diego to attend as he wants to support me as well" I say hoping Richard will pass the warning on to my mom, as I don't want my mom to be surprised to see my dad there, especially considering the out of control sexual chemistry there is between them.

"I know, Gideon told us that Victor had flown in, as I don't think he wanted Victor to feel too awkward, as and I mean no offence by this, but, he has never attended any functions like this," Richard says and I smile.

"No, and I am grateful for him to take the time to come, I mean he will be so far out of his comfort zone being there, but he wants to be there to support me and so I couldn't say no," I say.

As I say this it also seems like I am going to have to have words with my husband, and find out exactly what he has been up to and not told me about.

I hear the front door and look up, my heart swells at the sight of my husband and father talking together.

I quickly say my goodbyes to Richard and throw my phone down as I stand to greet them both.

"Hi, did you enjoy your workout?" I ask.

Gideon comes to me and wraps a sweaty arm around me and kisses me.

"Your husband is a machine, I thought I was fit but wow," my dad says, he pauses a moment, "I'm going to go and take a shower and get ready for tonight," he says, I nod and watch him go.

"Thank you," I say returning my attention to my husband.

"For what?" he asks, looking at me blankly.

"For making an effort with my dad when you know he isn't totally sure about you," I say.

I watch him smile "well if he isn't sure, then isn't it my job to make him sure?" he says as plants another kiss on my lips and then pulls away from me.

I can't fault that logic!

"I'm going to take a shower, care to join me?" he adds, giving me a look which makes everything south of my navel heat up and without hesitation, I am following Gideon into our bedroom.

When we get inside I watch him undress and he leads me to the shower.

"I also have something else to thank you for," I say, and I see him pause.

"Oh?" he asks.

"Hmmm, I had a call from Richard, apparently they will be attending the gala tonight, after all, Richard seems to think it was down to you going to see mom and talking to her," I say.

"I see," he says evasively.

I stand under the torrent of water and look up at my husband, I am surprised he looks kind of lost, I touch him.

"Gideon?" I ask.

"I admit that I went to see her, I hated to see how upset you were about her reaction to what you are planning to do tonight, so I went to talk to her, and it must have worked, I told her it wasn't a question of making her look bad, and that you wouldn't do that anyway, I also told her she had nothing to be ashamed or feel guilty about, I told her she believed you unquestionably and got you out of that situation as soon as she found out, and she wasn't to blame for what she was unaware of."

He pauses and my heart breaks for him, I had what he had wanted and needed all his life, a mother's unconditional belief and love.

I swallow hard and do the only thing I can think of at this moment, I press myself closer to him and just hold him.

We stand silently for a moment under the shower then Gideon speaks again, "I also told her your father was flying in from San Diego to support you and going way out of his comfort zone to do so, so, surely she could manage to put aside her unfounded issues and be there for you too," he stops and looks at me warily.

That part makes me smile as that is so typically Gideon and I can just imagine him saying something like that – fighting my corner just how I fight his.

"Well, thank you," I say and I press a kiss to his wet chest.

A moment later his arms come around me and he lifts me pressing me against the shower wall, my legs wrap around his waist and he pushes his body up against mine and I feel his arousal against me.

"I love you" I whisper in his ear.

"I love you, god I love you so fucking much," he replies.

**oooOOOooo**

We are finishing getting dressed, I had been mindful of my dad in the next room and how loud both Gideon and I can get whilst in the throes of passion and whilst it hadn't affected our lovemaking I think we had felt slightly inhibited, I know I did. I step into the dress I have picked for tonight, it is a beautiful shade of blue, one which I had bought because the colour reminded me of Gideon's eyes, he is wearing the blue tie I love so much tonight, and I am happy to note it matches my dress almost exactly.

"Let me," I feel Gideon's lips on my neck and his hands run over me before he grasps the zipper and tugs it up.

"God you are so beautiful" he whispers as he kisses my neck.

I turn in his arms and wrap my arms around his neck, "Flattery will get you everywhere!" I say with a grin and watch as the yearning in his eyes transforms into full heat.

"EVA!" I hear my dad call and I slide my hands from around my husband's neck and on to his chest.

"Hold those thoughts!" I whisper and plant a kiss on his lips, I grab my clutch and slip my feet into my shoes before making my way out.

"What's up?" I ask.

"That guy from downstairs called and I picked it up he said Cary is here," my dad says.

"Thanks, dad," I say and I quickly head to the intercom. "Hi, James send him up," I say.

I see my father watching me as he pulls on his tie and swiftly fastens it.

"You look beautiful," he says after a moment.

I smile and look at my dad, he is wearing his best suit and he has shined his shoes to within an inch of their life, and he may be my dad but he is a very attractive man, I just wish he would find someone to love, but sadly I think his heart belongs to my mother and always will.

Gideon comes out attaching his cufflinks, "Isn't Cary here yet?" he asks irritably.

I smile, "On his way up as we speak," I say.

"Well he'd better get a move on if he is going to do your hair" he grumbles.

"Relax, Cary is a pro he can come up with spectacular in seconds," I say.

I have barely got the words out of my mouth when the doorbell chimes and Gideon strides over to open it.

"Hey baby girl!" is the familiar call a moment later and my best friend is there dressed in a tux and looking edible.

"Hi, Cary," I say and look around, "Where's Trey?" I ask.

"I'm right here" comes Trey's quiet voice and I see him walking in with Gideon. He too is dressed in a tux but he looks uncomfortable and keeps pushing his finger in his collar.

"Hi Trey, let me introduce you to my father, this my dad, Victor, and dad this is Trey, Cary's boyfriend," I say as Cary is circling me looking at my hair.

"Pleased to meet you, sir," Trey says politely and offers his hand to my dad.

"Good to meet you too son," my dad says.

"Ok I'm thinking a chignon, simple and classy," Cary says and I nod.

Gideon looks at his watch, "you need to get a move on" he says.

Cary gives him a look and then turns to me, "Shall we?" he says and I grin.

Less than five minutes later we are on our way downstairs.

Angus is waiting as usual as we all pile into the limo, my dad looks at the inside of the car with interest.

"I've never been inside a limo before," Trey says as he looks around.

"That makes two of us son," my dad says.

"Just so you are aware Victor there will be press when we arrive, just ignore them and don't react to anything they shout," Gideon says.

"Yeah, I've seen this kind of thing on TV and it looks like a damn cattle market!" my dad says and I smile.

"You're not wrong" Gideon agrees.

The media go into meltdown when we arrive, Cary grabs Trey's hand and whispers encouragement into his ear, but Trey looks like a deer caught in the headlights as we make our way inside.

Almost immediately we are descended upon by people wanting to talk business with Gideon, I remember that I have to stand and look pretty at his side but Gideon is behaving differently tonight.

He is aware that this is not a pleasant experience and that he has two novices with him who have no idea how these things work, so he simply brushes everyone aside and we make our way through into the main area, it is like he is the pied piper as everyone who is mingling and chatting start to follow us. I catch sight of my mother and Stanton and as she sees us she makes her way over.

She offers her cheek for Gideon to greet her and I smile as she lets Cary give her a warm hug.

"Hi Monica, let me introduce you to my boyfriend, Trey, Trey this is Eva's mom Monica Stanton and the closest thing I have to a mom," Cary says with deep affection, he also quickly introduces Richard and I see my mother and my dad quickly acknowledge each other.

They are keeping a discreet distance between each other, to the casual observer it looks like there is an awkwardness due to bad blood, but I know better, they are keeping their distance because the sexual chemistry between them is off the charts.

I clear my throat, "Dad, this is mom's husband Richard Stanton, Richard this is my dad, Victor Reyes, I know you have spoken to him a couple of times on the phone, but I think this is the first time you have met in person."

I am rambling and I know it, I'm nervous about this, Richard has the woman but it is blindingly obvious to me that my dad has her heart and her love and always has, just like mom has my dad's and made him unable to move on.

Richard holds his hand out, "It's nice to finally put a face to the name and the voice" he says amiably.

My dad greets him politely before this can get any more awkward Gideon takes charge.

"We are over here, where are you seated Monica?" he asks my mom.

"Erm..." my mom says glancing at the seating plan.

"Second row, table thirty-three," Richard says and I take a look we are first row, table thirty-three, basically front row centre and my mom and Richard are on the table directly behind us. As I look around the room I freeze as I see a familiar face, one which I hoped I would never see again. I grip Gideon's hand tightly and his attention immediately is focussed on me.

"What's wrong?" he asks in a low voice.

"Over there," I say nodding my head, Gideon turns and follows my gaze and his eyes widen in shock as he recognises the familiar woman.

"Corinne, what the...? What the hell is she doing here?" Gideon spits.

"What is she doing in New York again?" I ask.

"Is there a problem?" my dad whispers and I nod towards the willowy tall brunette.

"See that woman over there?" I ask.

"The tall brunette in the silver dress?" my dad asks.

"That's the one," I say, "Recognise her?" I add looking at my dad meaningfully, my father saw photographs of her and Gideon together online and I see the moment he makes the connection.

"Ooohh," my dad says understanding immediately, "Wait, I thought she'd moved to California?" he says.

"So did I," I say.

"I see and you think she is here to stir up trouble?" my dad asks.

"Can't think of any other reason, she tried to call Gideon when we announced the pregnancy, but he refused to take the call, I didn't know she had come back to New York though," I say.

"Well ignore her, from what you've told me she is clearly unstable and you know the rule, when confronted with crazy, do not engage!"

I let out a small snort of laughter at that, "Thanks, dad" I say and wrap my arm around him.

"For what?" he asks.

"Keeping it real!" I say.

I look up and see another potential awkward moment arising as I see Nathan's dad approaching, Gideon knew he was coming, but I realise I hadn't given my mom and dad a heads up, partly as I had thought my mom wouldn't be coming and dad... well how do you introduce the father of the man who raped you, I had put it off and procrastinated about it and now it seems I'm out of time and I hope that doesn't bite me in the ass.

I grip my dad's arm, "Dad, I need to tell you something," I say.

I immediately have his full attention.

"The man walking towards us is called George Barker, he is coming tonight to support me and tell his story... because part of my foundation aims are to help and support the families of the abusers," I stop and wait for the penny to drop, which it does quickly and I see the anger in my dad's eyes.

I reach out and touch my father's arm, he is completely rigid with tension and I am starting to worry.

"Dad, George was not to blame for what Nathan did, and he didn't have to come here tonight, and god knows I think it is damn brave of him to stand up and admit that his son was a rapist," I say urgently.

I see my dad think about this and he nods once and I sigh with relief.

I realise I hadn't thought this through, this has the potential of being a complete mess, I am about to introduce the father of my rapist to the father of his victim and not only that I am also going to introduce him to his son's murderer! Gideon had assured me he was fine with George being here and I pray to god this doesn't end badly for any of us.

I step away from my dad and walk towards George who looks understandably nervous.

"Hello George and thank you for coming," I say.

"Eva honey, you are looking well, I heard the news about the baby, congratulations," he says.

I smile at him, I hold no animosity towards this man, and he did everything he possibly could when it came out about Nathan, even though he knew that his marriage was going to inevitably be over.

I walk towards the little group I see recognition and shock on my mother's face.

"George!" she says.

"Hello Monica, it's been a long time, Eva told me what she was doing tonight and I felt I must come and support her," George says.

My mother looks at me slightly accusingly, and I feel my anger rising, I look at her defiantly, "I didn't know you were coming until a couple of hours ago" I shoot back at her and she immediately backs down.

I quickly introduce our little group, I watch as Gideon shakes hands with George. My husband isn't giving anything away and looks as cool as a cucumber, but I feel a pang of guilt that I am putting him in this situation, and then he says something which I would never have expected.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Gideon says quietly.

I stare at him holding my breath at what response George is going to give. I am equally surprised when he shakes his head and lets out a derisive laugh.

"Don't be, I had no son, he lost the right to call himself my son the day he first violated a ten-year-old girl, I'm just sorry it didn't happen sooner, and if I could have gotten away with it I would have killed him myself," George says bitterly.

I watch Gideon carefully and to anyone else he doesn't make any reaction, but I notice tiny yet significant differences, the tension around his eyes has now gone, and I see his whole body relax, I realise this is the validation he needed to get, to lay to rest what he did, he could rationalise what he did until the end of time, but I knew somewhere deep inside it bothered him taking another life, but hearing that is the closure he needed to lay that niggle in his mind to rest once and for all.

"George this is my dad, Victor Reyes, he has flown in from California to be here tonight, dad this is George Barker, Nathan's dad," I say, then I wait and I hold my breath once again.

I watch as my dad visibly struggles but he takes a deep breath and holds out his hand, I see the relief on Georges' face as he grasps my dad's hand warmly.

"I'm very pleased to meet you and I know this must be very difficult for you," George says.

My dad nods, "Just a bit, but it wasn't your fault, and I'm grateful to you for coming here tonight to support my daughter," he says magnanimously.

I could kiss my dad for that.

Cary pulls me away, "Jeez Eva talk about all kinds of weird!" he hisses.

I shrug, "It seemed like a good idea and I think it actually was, it gives everyone the closure they need," I say looking around.

Cary considers that and then nods, "A bit risky though" he says and I grin at him.

"Since when have I ever gone the easy route?" I say and nudge him in the ribs.

He laughs, "Very true baby girl, very true!" he stops as Gideon strides towards us.

"We need to take our places," he says and holds out his hand to me, I don't hesitate and slip my hand into his and we make our way to our table.

**oooOOOooo**

After a delicious meal I take a moment to look around the room, tonight my dad has caught a glimpse of the lifestyle which he could never compete with, according to my mom, and not for the first time I wonder why she was so shallow, putting money before a relationship and also why he didn't put up more of a fight for her, he just seemed to accept that he wasn't rich enough for her and let her go, despite the fact they are clearly very in love.

Despite being totally out of his element I think my dad has enjoyed himself tonight. Cary and Gideon have done their best to include him and try and make him feel at ease, but I have noticed that more than once he has been chatting amiably to Trey, and I'm happy that they seem to have hit it off so well.

I'm the first speaker up, I look around and see the boards around the room with the name of my foundation written on them, I think I have picked a good name, in large and bold yet oddly delicate italics is the word 'Survivors' and underneath in a smaller different font are the words, 'In association with Crossroads' it looks good and I hope tonight gives it the exposure it needs.

The moment comes when I am introduced by the host to come up and speak and a vicious case of nerves engulfs me. Gideon senses it and stands with me and embraces me and then kisses me chastely on the lips.

"You will be fine, you look beautiful, you know what you are talking about, this is your vision Angel, so go up there and knock em dead!" he says as he cups my face with his hands and looks into my eyes.

I nod as I feel marginally better after that pep talk and impulsively reach up and press another kiss to his lips.

"Thank you," I say and taking a deep breath I make my way to the stage. I glance around and see the press pack waiting. This is it, this is my moment.

"Good Evening everyone" I begin, I take a deep breath, and I begin to talk, not from my carefully prepared notes but from my heart.

"I am delighted to be here tonight, first to formally launch my Charitable Foundation to help men and women who have been the victims of sexual abuse and/or been raped. This is a cause very close to my heart..." I glance at Cary and Gideon, then take a shot look at my dad who is sitting stoically watching me.

"...As I am a survivor of sexual abuse and I was raped".

I hear a gasp come from the room and then complete silence, you can hear a pin drop if I didn't have their full attention before I have it now.

"When I was 10 years old my then stepbrother the late Nathan Barker who was nearly 13 at the time, raped me for the first time. I was terrified, I was a ten-year-old girl who had been violated in the worst way possible I will remember that day as long as I live, I was in so much pain, and I bled for a while afterwards, but worst of all I felt so alone, I had nowhere to turn, I knew I should tell my mother, but I was terrified to do so, Nathan told me he would kill me if I did, and as a ten-year-old girl, I believed him." I pause and take a drink of the water in front of me.

"I lost count of the number of times he violated me, over the years and it only stopped and everything came out when I was fourteen years old when I suffered a miscarriage, Nathan had made me pregnant. During the examination, evidence of the extensive abuse I had endured came to light and Child Protection services were called, it was only then I felt able to unburden myself of this hell I had endured and it was only then I broke down and admitted everything. My mother did everything in her power to get me justice. She was assisted by Mr Barker who was distraught and disgusted by what his son had done and did his best to support us despite the fact he knew his son's actions meant his marriage to my mother would inevitably come to an end" I pause again and take another drink, I glance at Gideon who has his eyes fixed on me.

"My abuser was tried in a court of law and sentenced. The whole experience left me traumatised, and I went to live with my father for a while. I was out of control and I did a lot of things I am not proud of, I was hurting and I hated myself, which led to behaviour, which my father found unacceptable, he put me in contact with a therapist and that man saved my life, he taught me that none of what happened was my fault and gave me the coping strategies to handle what had happened to me and to behave in a more constructive manner rather than the self-destructive one which I had found myself in. That is why I want to start my own foundation to help people like me who feel they have nowhere to go and no one to turn to". I pause again and I know everyone is hanging on my every word.

"It was at these therapy sessions some of which were group-based sessions that I met the man who was to become my best friend in the whole world, Mr Cary Taylor", I gesture to Cary, who is watching me with pride.

"He has kindly agreed to be the face of my foundation and he has his own story which he has agreed to share with you in a moment. He has been my rock and my anchor when I wandered off the rails over the years, and I hope I have been equally supportive to him. I have also been very fortunate that I met a wonderful man who understood my past and has made allowances for it along with my sometimes irrational behaviour which stems from my insecurities".

I look towards Gideon, "He has also been a tower of strength to me and with his help and encouragement, got my foundation off the ground, I am talking of course about my husband, Mr Gideon Cross. Sexual abuse and rape is something which stays with you, there is something deeply personal about being violated in this way, but it is how you deal with those feelings which stay with you, you either stay a victim your whole life, or you stand up and you become a survivor instead, and it took me a lot of time and therapy not to mention the unwavering support I got from my all family and from Cary and later on from Gideon. Slowly though, the triggers which caused the nightmares and panic attacks became less and less and I count myself lucky and blessed to say proudly, I am doing ok, I am not a victim anymore I am a survivor! So it is now my mission to help other people reach that point and be able to say those words. Thank you for listening".

I pause and there is a round of applause, I have never witnessed anything like it, every person in the room including the media pack have got up on their feet and are giving me a standing ovation. I see my dad proudly clapping as are Gideon and Cary, my mom is crying and it makes me feel suddenly very emotional, I feel tears prickling at my eyelids I quickly put my head down to wipe them away, and pull myself together, before addressing the room once more.

"Now I would like to introduce Mr Cary Taylor who has agreed to be the public face of Survivors to explain why he agreed to do so."

Cary stands and joins me, he wraps his arm around me and whispers in my ear, "Well done baby girl that was brilliant" he says.

He looks around the room as I step away from him, he waits until I have retaken my seat, as I do so Gideon stands once more and pulls me close before allowing me to sit down. I settle myself and turn my attention to Cary who is watching me carefully.

"Wow, how do you follow that?" he says, gesturing towards me. He takes a deep breath and I glance at Trey who is watching Cary closely.

"My name is Cary Taylor, you may have seen me on billboards around the city, I am now settled, happy and working steadily and I am the face of a certain brand of jeans, but I wouldn't be here today at all if it wasn't for the therapy group I attended, and for this remarkable woman right here" he says as he gestures his hand towards me.

"That isn't an over dramatic exaggeration, that is the honest truth and so it is my honour to agree to help my best friend in the world. Eva is the one person in my life I know I can always count on, for a long time she was the only person I knew I could count on, therapy helped me understand what had happened to me and made me realise it wasn't my fault, but Eva gave me a life, a life to be proud of, firstly she gave me friendship, she saw something of value in me which I didn't even know I had and then she gave me a family, something I had never had until I met her, Eva is my family".

He looks at me with such affection I can't help but smile. But that smile fades as he continues to speak.

"My mother, and I use that term in the loosest possible sense, was a drug addict, she was a hooker and an all round pretty crappy person, she had her issues I have no doubt, but she was also incredibly selfish and never even contemplated that there could be something better than injecting rubbish into her veins. I wasn't her son, I was a mistake, I was told that fact every day of my life for years, I was the result of a dodgy condom one of her clients used and I was made to pay for being that mistake every single day. My mother never wanted me, she made that fact crystal clear, in fact, after I was born she'd then gone on to use abortion several times as her preferred form of contraception, when she found herself pregnant again, telling me more than once that she wished she had got rid of me as well. I grew up in a house full of drugs, clients and not a lot else, I learnt pretty early on to keep out of the way when mom was entertaining her '_friends'_" he uses the air quotes as he says this, and his tone is bitter, I have heard most of this before, but Gideon and Trey are sitting looking thunderstruck.

"Anyway, as time went on, and I got older, mom in her wisdom decided that I could perhaps be of some use to her after all" he stops and takes a drink.

"Mom decided that I should be made available to her more discerning clientele. I was 8 years old the first time a man raped me, a full grown man and a small malnourished eight-year-old boy, you do the maths, it was hideous. I continued to grow up and that was my life, I was there for my mom's men friends to use and abuse at will - that was my purpose. Then as I reached puberty I was whored out to her female friends as well".

He pauses and looks at us, I will him to continue, this is the bravest thing he has ever done.

"I thought then and to a certain extent I still do think that is all I have to offer anyone, I won't lie I was a complete mess, I had travelled quite a way down the junkie road my mom was on, I screwed anyone and I self-harmed, I hated myself and I was at rock bottom".

He pauses again and smiles.

"Then I remember the day I met Eva, at group therapy, she saw me and came and sat next to me, I asked her if she wanted to have sex. Let's just say she turned me down, I won't repeat the exact words she used, but they were pretty to the point and left me with no doubt her view on the matter. But she also said something else, she told me it was about time I started to respect myself and have a bit of dignity," he looks directly at me now.

"She didn't give up on me and we became friends, she wasn't ashamed of me, even though I was ashamed of myself and she introduced me to her family who treated me as one of their own, which for me was a whole new experience, I had never been given affection and unconditional parental love before, yet this woman treated me like a brother, and her parents treated me like a son, they accepted me as I am. I have made her life pretty interesting at times, she has walked in on many things which I am sure she wishes she hadn't, she kicks my ass about it but she has never turned her back on me, so, I am proud to be a part of her vision and help her with the launch of Survivors."

Cary gets a standing ovation and as he comes to sit down I stand and wrap my arm around him.

"Thank you Cary" I say with genuine affection.

Gideon leans across me and shakes his hand and pats his shoulder. As I stand up again and make my way back to speak, I see Trey grab Cary and pull him into his arms and just hold him tightly.

I clear my throat, "Now you have heard the stories of two survivors of abuse, I make no apologies if you have been shocked by what you have heard, as there is no tidy way to discuss this subject matter, no politically correct way to get across the horror of what Cary and I endured but it needs to be talked about" I stop and take a deep breath.

"But it isn't just the actual victim of the abuse who suffers, there are forgotten victims, who get over looked, there is a ripple effect to abuse which affects many others, in my case the ripples affected my parents, who felt anger, guilt and helplessness wondering if there was something they could have done to prevent the abuse, and also the guilt that they never noticed and sometimes there are other victims who are forgotten and sometimes even condemned unfairly in instances of rape and abuse, those people are the families of the perpetrator of the abuse, here today is Mr George Barker and as Nathan's father he had the added guilt that it was his son who caused the hurt and the pain, and this is where my foundation hopes to be different from others, I intend not only to help the victims themselves and help them make the transition to becoming survivors but the people around them who have been affected by the crime and who need help to come to terms with what has happened to their loved ones. I would like to pass you now on to Mr George Barker who has come here and agreed to tell his story"

George Barker stands up and joins me he looks around the room, "thank you Eva" he says.

"When Eva told me what she was planning to do, I didn't hesitate to come and offer my support. It is my honour to be here tonight as Eva launches her foundation. I will never forget the day I was told what my son had done. Eva was just fourteen years old and she was ill, her mother had taken her to the hospital, while I waited at home for news, but when it eventually came I never in a million years expected what I was told. Eva's mother called me in tears saying that Child Protection had been called as there was overwhelming evidence of sexual abuse. I could tell by her voice she thought I had done something to her daughter, I was shocked and confused, but I immediately assumed there had been some mistake, but I was wrong, there was no mistake," he pauses and then takes a deep breath.

"When I arrived, Eva was telling a policewoman what had happened to her, I was taken to a side room, and then Eva's mother came in with the policewoman and a doctor, they asked me to sit down, the doctor said that Eva had suffered a miscarriage, I was shocked, but when they told me she had been made pregnant by my own son, who had violated her not once but repeatedly many, many times over the period of four years, and who had threatened her in increasingly sickening ways to keep quiet, I felt physically ill. I listened to the doctor who told of the evidence they had found, the damage Nathan had done to her. I was appalled, to this day I have no idea what possesses a man to commit rape, the most intimate and heinous of crimes. I went home, and confronted him, he denied it, of course, said Eva was willing but I knew he was lying. That day I disowned him, that day I ceased to have a son, he was dead to me and I helped Eva get her justice and I helped her get her rapist convicted in a court of law and imprisoned for what he did. Eva's mother and I divorced, I understood completely, she couldn't stay in a house where her daughter had been molested, I was generous in our divorce settlement, I made sure both Eva and her mother were materially compensated, although I knew it was a hollow gesture, as money could never buy back the innocence she had lost or erase the pain that she had suffered. So I was overjoyed when she called me to tell me about her foundation and that the money I had given her all those years ago was what she used to set it up, and I am determined to support her in her venture in any way I possibly can".

There is a deathly shocked silence for a moment after he finishes speaking and I stand and start to clap, slowly everyone in the room follows suit. I watch as Gideon makes his way to the podium, I knew he was going to speak next to outline his support and the role Crossroads was to play.

The room falls silent and I watch my husband, I love listening to him speak and I wait.

"Good evening, I challenge anyone here tonight not to be affected by what they have heard. For some it will be shock and disgust that anyone could perpetrate such an appalling act, for others it will be compassion and sympathy, but for some it will be empathy, as they know exactly how Eva and Cary felt, as they had also endured the same violation at the hands of someone, some may have reached the point of becoming a survivor but some, however, are still victims and some still suffer in silence".

I watch him, and swallow hard, then he looks at me and I watch as he grips the podium tightly and I take a sharp breath, he's not? Surely? I watch closely as Gideon continues.

"My wife has outlined her reasons for launching this charitable foundation and in the process laid herself and her past out bare, and also a word has to be acknowledged to Cary Taylor who has been equally honest and brave tonight. To be horrifically and repeatedly sexually abused at a young age... to be raped, is to any normal sane human being, totally unthinkable, and Eva and Cary have shown courage beyond measure to highlight what was a traumatic time for both of them. On a personal level there are no words invented which convey my love, respect and pride in this woman but she also makes me complete, I am a very private person and she taught me to open up and face my own demons. I support this foundation wholeheartedly, not only because Eva is my wife and for what she went through..."

He pauses and I hold my breath as with thundering realisation, it dawns on me that he really is going to do this.

"...but for what I also went through."

The shocked gasps fill the air, and then as it subsides you can hear a pin drop it is so still, everyone is hanging on Gideon's every word, he straightens and lifts his chin up and he continues bravely.

"I was molested and raped by a health care professional who was supposed to be helping me, it happened numerous times over the period of a year or so, the man in question is now dead, and I will not reveal his name out of consideration to his living family, but I too know the damage that abuse at a young age can cause, and the scars it leaves behind and Eva is helping me every day in my transition from being a victim to being a survivor".

I glance around the room and see the looks of complete shock on everyone's faces.

"Eva and I found each other, and I freely admit she saved me, and I am profoundly grateful every day that she agreed to be my wife. Eva, Cary and I were frightened children when we were abused... when we were raped, and we felt we had nowhere to turn, through the different circumstances we all faced at the time. That is why now we are in a position to do so, we now give so generously to organisations to help victims of abuse and why we have started our own charitable concerns to help others who find themselves in the same circumstances we did, and although we fervently hope nobody ever has to go through what we did, we know that is naive and idealistic to the point of delusional, so we want something there to be available for anyone who has suffered as we have, to get the help and care they deserve, so it gives me great pleasure to have Crossroads associated with Survivors, thank you".

The room erupts into applause and I stand as Gideon makes his way back to me, I take him in my arms.

"You do realise what you have just done don't you?" I say.

"I do," he says and looks at me, there is defiance in his eyes "It was time, I was raped but I'm no longer hiding and no longer being ashamed, because I am not to blame," he says.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

I'm still in a state of shock as the evening comes to an end. I know the media is going to explode with this information, not to mention the Cross Industries PR department, I can imagine Des having a coronary on the spot when the media drop this on him.

We try to make our way out and we are stopped every few steps by someone coming and shaking our hands and offering their support to Survivors. I am grateful and glad that by telling my story I can turn something which was horrific and heinous into something positive and also, now I no longer have to worry about my past coming out in a salacious way to embarrass my husband which has always been my concern. I have controlled it and let the truth out in my own way and on my terms.

"Eva!" I look and Cary and Trey come towards us hand in hand, it makes me happy to see that, and I hope Trey now understands Cary a little bit more and I am immensely proud of Cary for standing up there tonight and telling his own harrowing life story.

"Baby girl we want you to be the first to know," Cary says brightly his eyes are shining with love and something else something like awe.

"What?" I ask.

"Trey has asked me to marry him, he was going to ask me at some point soon but after tonight he said he couldn't wait any longer, he loves me."

I squeal loudly bringing attention to us and I fling my arms around my best friend's neck. "Oh my god Cary I'm so pleased for you!" I shriek.

Gideon steps forward and offers Cary his hand, "Congratulations to you both" he says.

"Well done son," my dad says and pulls Cary into a swift manly hug before doing the same with Trey.

**oooOOOooo**

We get back to the penthouse and we are all climbing out of the limo, the ride back was almost like a party, Cary and Trey are both in high spirits.

As we stand on the sidewalk I hug Cary and Trey warmly as we say our goodbyes when I hear a familiar voice, I see Gideon react and I spin on the spot to see Corinne stalking purposefully towards us.

Everything all seems to happen at once I hear Corinne shout and feel Cary grab me, and at the same time Gideon moves and shoves me violently towards Cary, my father yells and as Angus tries to react, Gideon moves again blocking him and quickly steps in front of me, shielding me with his body. Before I can react or process what is happening I hear a gunshot and I feel a spray of wetness I look down and see blood.

"GIDEON!" I yell as I see my husband slide to the ground.

I shake myself out of Cary's hold and fall to my knees cradling my husband's head in my arms. I can hear crying and hysterical screaming, I listen, it's not me, although I realise that I too am crying and repeatedly saying Gideon's name but I can hear a woman crying hysterically. I shut it out and concentrate on Gideon.

"Gideon, Gideon wake up, stay with me, do you hear, don't you fucking leave me" I say, as I grip him tightly, pressing my hand to the wound which is pouring blood, I know that I need to try and stop it, I have no idea what is going on, I perceive movement around me, there is activity and a lot of it, has someone called an ambulance? All the while Gideon is lying possibly dying in my arms.

"Eva, Eva sweetheart let me look," I hear my dad's calm voice and it registers with me amongst the fog I am currently in and I look up at him blankly.

"He's bleeding" I say stating the obvious as my father crouches and gently examines Gideon, I watch him carefully and hear him as he curses under his breath.

"Eva, are you hurt?" he asks turning his attention back to me, he is using his cop voice the one which radiates authority and control.

I shake my head unable to speak, as I am feeling numb and confused.

"An ambulance is on the way."

I hear another familiar voice and look up to see Angus and several members of Gideon's security team, where did they come from? Two of whom are holding a woman, Corinne, I stare at her, I register who she is and that I previously saw her walking towards us but I can't move, I can't seem to do anything, I notice she has something in her hand but she is in a death grip of one of Gideon's security team and unable to move and she is sobbing.

My mind starts piecing the facts together and I realise she must the woman I previously heard screaming.

I refuse to let my grip go on Gideon, Cary and Trey are both beside me and offering me what support they can. Then I hear sirens and soon the sidewalk is flooded with police and paramedics. I have no idea how much time has passed, everything seems to be happening in slow motion, and slow motion is bad, Gideon needs help now.

I vaguely hear my father taking charge and talking to the police officers. Then someone tries to pull me away from Gideon.

"NO" I yell, holding tighter, "He's bleeding, under my hand I can't let go, he can't die!" I say urgently.

I feel Cary touch me and I look at him, "Eva, baby girl, listen to me, you've done a brilliant job there but your part is done now, the professionals are here so let the paramedics take over now, let them help him," Cary whispers and I look up to see two paramedics.

"Come on baby girl, let them do their job," Cary coaxes and reluctantly I allow him to pull me away. But as he does so I instinctively try and hold on to Gideon until I can no longer do so. Another paramedic comes to me and wraps something around me, I hear Cary's voice again, but I am focussed on the team of paramedics swarming all over Gideon.

"That blood on her is his, I don't think the bullet got her, he took it for her, he stepped in front of her, and he pushed her towards me as I tried to pull her away as well, but she's in shock and she's pregnant so she needs to go and be checked out," Cary says.

I am fixed on the paramedics working on Gideon on the sidewalk, he is just lying there, and realisation slowly dawns as I go over what Cary just said, Gideon took a bullet for me, he risked his own life to save mine and our baby, I look towards Corinne who is being arrested and I see a police officer taking something from her... I recognise it, it's a gun, she did this! I feel the meltdown as it happens. I scream and lurch forward towards Corinne who is being led away, my only goal is to get to her and kill her.

"Eva, no!" Cary yells and pulls me back.

"She shot him, she shot him!" I scream.

"I know she did baby girl, we all saw it and she has admitted it, she can't get out of it, the police have arrested her and are taking her away for doing it, so let them do their job, they are dealing with her," Cary says, I sag and collapse into Cary's arms sobbing hysterically.

I feel myself being led to an ambulance, Gideon is now on the gurney and paramedics are still working on him, he looks pale, I try and pull myself together as I don't want to get in their way and I sit beside him, I have been wrapped in an aluminium foil blanket and I reach out and grasp his hand, which is lying limply at the side of the gurney.

"Is he...?" I ask the paramedic closest to me who is checking him as we ride to the hospital.

"He's in a bad way ma'am but he's also a fit and strong man and he's holding on," the paramedic says kindly.

I nod and lean towards Gideon, "Don't you dare leave me, Gideon, do you hear me, don't you leave me and our baby" I say fiercely and I lean in and press a kiss to his forehead, tears are streaming unchecked down my face and I don't do anything about it.

"I love you, Gideon, don't you leave me" I keep saying it, as if by doing so will make him well.

When we arrive at the hospital a number of people are waiting for us, I see my mother and Richard, they are still dressed in the clothes they were wearing at the gala my mom immediately engulfs me in her arms and holds me, but I push her away as I see Gideon being unloaded.

"Not now mom," I hiss and return to my husband's side, grabbing his hand once more and practically running beside the gurney as he is rushed into the hospital.

We go inside and I am stopped by medical staff and gently removed from Gideon, I watch as he disappears into a room and the doors close. I sag and fall to my knees and in an instant I am surrounded.

"Come on Eva, come on," I hear my mother's voice and I respond as she lifts me to my feet, she wraps her arm around me and tries to lead me away when I hear someone call out to me.

"Eva!"

I turn and see Chris, Christopher and Ireland running towards me, they are all pale and worried, and seeing them just makes me cry harder, Chris steps forward immediately and I step out of my mother's hold towards Gideon's stepfather, he doesn't hesitate and pulls me into his arms and holds me.

"He was shot, it was Corinne, and she shot him" I mutter.

I feel myself being moved and everything is going on around me, I am moved here and there and examined and then proclaimed absolutely fine, Dr Marshall appears and checks on the baby and the baby is also fine. I take that in, ok, I'm fine and the baby is fine, now what about Gideon?

I look around for the first time becoming aware of my surroundings. I am in a small examination room, with me are Cary, Trey, my mom, Stanton, Chris, Christopher and Ireland. I look around at all the worried faces.

"Gideon?" I ask and search their faces for the answer I need, is he alive?

Cary sits beside me and wraps his arm around me.

"He's in surgery, and he's fighting," he says.

I nod and look at my best friend, "what happened? I heard a voice and a shot, Gideon was on the floor, then I was in the ambulance and then I was here, what's going on?" I ask although my muddled mind seems to have worked most of it out.

Cary glances at my mom who comes and sits down on the other side of me and picks up my blood soaked hand, everyone else is listening as they also seem to want to know. I realise for the first time that my dad isn't here as I try and pick through the fog of what happened tonight I remember he was there when Gideon was shot.

"Where's my dad?" I ask.

"He'll be here soon, he is helping Angus with the police," Cary says gently as though he is trying to calm me down.

"What happened tonight?" I ask again.

Cary takes a deep breath, "when we all got out the limo, Angus got out and he spotted that woman, Gideon's ex – Corinne, she yelled out and lifted the gun, her intention was obvious, he did something and loads of men appeared from nowhere, they must have been security, but she fired the gun before they could grab her and then everything happened all at once, I grabbed you and tried to pull you away and Cross pushed you towards me at the same time and then he threw himself in front of you, and took the bullet, your dad called the cops and paramedics, Angus and the other men grabbed Corinne. She was hysterical, she was screaming that she didn't mean to hit him, that she loved him and..." he pauses and looks at me, I can tell he doesn't want to say what happened next.

"and?" I urge waiting for him to continue.

"...and that she meant to hit you," he says quietly, there is a long silence as I take that in.

"It wasn't your fault Eva," my mom says firmly.

I stare at her incredulously, "How was it not my fault? My husband is fighting for his life because he took a bullet meant for me," I yell rounding on her angrily.

"Eva, calm down" Cary says soothingly, "The cops came, and your dad and Angus told them what had happened, pretty much as I have just told you, he and Angus are downtown now sorting everything, I think your lawyer guy has been called, and I'm guessing that they will be putting a restraining order on Corinne and trying their damnedest to keep her under lock and key for the time being".

Cary hardly finishes speaking when the door opens and my dad enters, his eyes meet mine and he looks worried, he is closely followed by Raul and also Arash and they all have grim expressions.

"Daddy," I say and I am on my feet and in his arms.

"Eva, are you ok, the baby?" he asks pulling me away from him and visually checking me, his eyes scanning me from head to foot.

"I'm fine, and the baby is fine" I say, I turn to look at Raul and Arash.

"What's happened?" I ask.

Arash sighs and rubs his face, he looks frustrated and it sets me on edge, "We've been at the station fighting to keep Corinne in custody, which under normal circumstances she would be, but her father came and pulled a number of strings and posted bail for her, he promised us he would make sure she didn't come anywhere near you again, but we've put a restraining order in just to make sure, and also Raul is here and is staying in case she does try anything else".

"But it's your day off," I say looking at Raul, he smiles at me kindly.

"I can have my day off at any time," he says gently.

"This is more important right now and Mr Cross would expect me to be here protecting you at a time like this," he says.

"I'm also staying," I look around and see Ben Clancy, I didn't even realise that he was here, I hadn't noticed him before as he was standing back in the corner out of the way.

Richard nods, "Certainly, Ben is at your disposal for as long as you need him and if I can be of help in any other way".

Raul nods, "Thank you, Mr Stanton that's very kind of you, Angus has arranged for our security to be posted outside, Angus is still liaising with the police at the moment but intends to come here himself as well later on".

I look around, they are all taking this very seriously and they think Corinne could come here and try and finish what she started, I'm suddenly afraid, not for me but for my baby, she won't try and hurt Gideon again as he wasn't her target, it was me. Arash comes and hugs me and tries to tell me everything will be fine and then he leaves.

The door opens and everyone is on alert, a young doctor enters, "All the tests have come back clear so you are free to go Mrs Cross" he says looking around at all the people in the room.

This immediately galvanises me into action, "I'm not going anywhere without my husband, how is he?" I ask.

The doctor smiles at me and nods, "Your husband is still in surgery at the moment, he is in a critical condition and fighting for his life and we are doing all we can to repair the damage caused by the bullet that hit him," he says.

I nod, and reach for Cary's hand and he immediately gives it to me.

"Ok," I say and I look around, "Well I don't know about anyone else but I'm staying right here," I say calmly.

I look around the room defiantly, silently challenging anyone to contradict me.

Chris quickly turns to Christopher and Ireland, "I'll stay here with Eva, Christopher, can you please take Ireland to your place tonight and stay there and I'll call as soon as I know anything."

I watch Christopher hesitate and then he nods he glances at me and then walks over to me and hugs me tightly.

"He'll be fine, he's too much of a stubborn asshole to give up and die," those words are oddly comforting and I manage to give a weak smile to Christopher.

"Thank you," I say and he nods, I look at Ireland and her lip is trembling, but Christopher is already ushering her away.

"Wait" I call, and pull myself away from everyone around me and walk towards Ireland. I pull her close.

"Christopher is right, Gideon can't die," I say firmly and she nods at me tears welling up in her eyes.

"Ok," she says in a small voice and with that I watch her leave with Christopher.

I turn and see Cary and Trey in deep conversation.

Trey nods and presses a sweet kiss to Cary's lips, before turning to me, "I'm going to go and get Cary a change of clothes, he is staying here with you, and then I'll head home afterwards and wait for news there, and I'll come by again in the morning" he says.

"I'm sorry, this has kind of ruined your engagement announcement!" I say.

Trey smiles at me, "No it didn't" he says kindly.

Raul immediately gets a car organised for Trey and I smile at him gratefully.

"Angus will be bringing you a change of clothes when he arrives," Raul says to me and I nod glancing down at my blood splattered dress, I couldn't care less about how I look but I thank him all the same.

The room is significantly less crowded now, Clancy steps outside, stating that he will guard the room, I watch as he takes up a position outside my door and nobody seems to want to argue with him.

A short while later Angus arrives with a small bag and he hands it to me, "how are you baring up lass?" he asks me kindly.

"I'm ok," I say, my lip starting to tremble as I say it.

Angus looks at everyone and then wraps a gentle arm around my shoulder, "Come on lass, let's go and see if we can find you a shower so you can clean yourself up, it'll make you feel a bit better" he says kindly and I follow him out. Ben Clancy looks up and smiles at me as Angus leads me away.

I watch as he speaks to the staff in a kind but firm and authoritative way, reminding them of how generous Gideon has been to the hospital over the years and a room is quickly found for me to change and shower and I am surprised at how much better I do feel afterwards. I step out and find Ben Clancy sitting outside this room now, I hand the bag of soiled ruined clothes to Angus.

"Thank you, I do feel much better now," I say.

He smiles at me, "Well I have some good news for you which will make you feel even better, while you were showering, the doctor came, Gideon is out of surgery and is now in the ICU, you can go and sit with him now if you want to, and the doctor will come and see you and tell you how he is doing," he says.

My heart leaps at this and I follow Angus back to the other room, I see Chris on the phone obviously relaying this news to Christopher and Ireland. My mom and Stanton and my dad are standing a few feet away, Cary is also watching me carefully.

I take a deep breath, "Why don't you go home mom, get some sleep there isn't much more you can do here" I say.

My mom looks hurt by this and I know she thinks I am pushing her away, but although she has been astonishingly strong tonight I know that there will be some kind of emotional reaction at some point and I don't have it in me to deal with it at the moment.

Richard wraps his arm around my mom, "Eva's right Monica, its late, let's go home and get some rest and come back fresh in the morning, Gideon is out of surgery now and I'm sure Eva will want to go and sit with him shortly, there is nothing more we can do here tonight, Clancy is staying with Gideon's security to protect her so there is nothing to worry about on that score" he coaxes, I smile gratefully at him.

I watch and my mom nods, "Alright" she says and she turns to me, "If you need me though please call me" she says.

I hug her tightly, "I will mom," I say.

My dad comes up to me and hugs me, "I'm satisfied you are well protected, and I know you are not moving from here so I'm going to head back to your place to try and get some sleep, I'll be back first thing in the morning though and same as your mom says, if you need me you call me no matter what time of the night do you hear me?" He says firmly.

I nod "I will thank you," I say, I vaguely remember that my dad is returning to San Diego tomorrow as well so he needs to go and get some rest.

"No problem sweetheart, you try and get some rest too, if not for you, for my grandbaby," he says pointing at my stomach.

I manage to give him a weak smile, "I'll try" I promise.

"Good girl," he says and he presses a kiss to my head before leaving.

Cary who is now dressed in jeans and t-shirt comes and hugs me.

"I'm not going anywhere baby girl, so don't you even think about trying to persuade me to!" he says.

Chris smiles at me, "I'd like to stay too – if you don't mind?" he says.

I shake my head, "No I don't mind."

I follow Angus and Clancy upstairs and we are met at the ICU by the doctor.

"Mrs Cross how are you?" he asks kindly.

"I'm fine, how is my husband?" I ask.

"He's holding his own, we've done all we can so it's up to him now, he is a very lucky man, the bullet missed all his vital organs, there was some significant internal bleeding but we eventually managed to control and stem that, and unfortunately we had to remove his spleen, the odds are significantly in his favour though, as he is an incredibly fit man".

I nod, "Will he be ok? Without a spleen?" I ask.

The doctor smiles at me, "the job of the spleen is to help the body fight infection, so without one your husband will probably be prone to more infections moving forward, which would be a point to be aware of but aside from that he should make a full recovery."

"I can go and sit with him?" I ask.

The doctor nods, "you certainly can, and a cot has been placed in the room for you in case you want to sleep."

"Thank you," I say gratefully.

"Not a problem Mrs Cross it's the least we could do, Mr Cross has been a very generous benefactor to the hospital over the years," he says.

I walk into the room and stop dead, Gideon is covered with wires and machines are beeping as they monitor him.

"Oh my god" I whisper and my hand flies to my mouth and I feel tears starting to threaten once again.

I feel Chris wrap an arm around me, "I'm sure that it looks scarier than what it actually is," he says gently.

I nod and go and sit in the chair beside Gideon and pick his hand up, it is warm and I lift it to my mouth and press a kiss to his knuckles, a gesture which he has given me so many times. Then I rub his hand absently against my cheek.

"I'm right here Gideon, I'm right here waiting for you to wake up," I say, my voice quivering with emotion.

Chris and Cary silently sit themselves down, Chris sits on the other side of the bed and Cary pulls a chair up beside mine.

I glance at the cot. "I don't think I'll be using that so if either of you needs to sleep," I say nodding towards it.

Chris smiles at me, "I'm fine right here" he says.

Cary reaches for me, "That is for you baby girl and you will be using it when you fall asleep – which you will because you are running on empty, so when you do crash I'll be carrying your ass to it!"

I don't argue and I know deep down he is probably right.

**oooOOOooo**

The next thing I know I open my eyes and discover I am indeed lying down on the cot with a blanket thrown over me, I sit up and see Gideon is still unconscious, and Chris is fast asleep and snoring quietly in the chair which is on the opposite side of the bed. I look around the room and wonder where Cary is, the answer comes as the door opens and he walks in.

"Morning" I murmur, "What time is it?"

"Nearly 8 am, they have been in a few times during the night to check on him, and he's doing fine," Cary says.

I look at him, "You look like shit," I say bluntly.

He rubs his chin and grins, "Well, you don't have room to talk, you are looking pretty rough too baby girl" he says.

I feel rough too, I slap my hand over my mouth as a wave of nausea hits me and I rush to the bathroom, as I vomit I hear Cary come in and he reaches and grabs my hair out of the way.

My heart lurches – that's Gideon's job, this is the first time he has not been with me during my now regular morning conversations with the toilet bowl.

"Your mom is here, she didn't want to come in while you were sleeping she is waiting outside," Cary says.

"Great," I say sarcastically.

"Hey come on don't be like that" Cary chides.

"I'm sorry, I know I'm being a selfish bitch, but I just can't handle one of my mom's emotional outbursts right now," I say.

Cary shrugs, "to be fair, this is the strongest I have ever seen her," he says.

I think about that and I remember something Gideon said once when he was dealing with her, he had once said he thought she was tougher than she let on.

I push it out of my mind and head back out to my husband, I see Chris waking up and gingerly moving, he is clearly stiff from his night in the chair.

"Good morning," he says and he glances at the bed at Gideon who is still unconscious.

"Good morning" I reply.

Chris looks carefully at me, and frowns "Are you alright Eva?" he asks.

I smile wryly, "Morning sickness, I'm fine now I have had my head down the toilet!" I say.

Chris gives me a sympathetic look.

A sudden thought occurs to me, "Has anyone told Elizabeth about what happened?" I ask, I may hate the woman with a passion, but this is still her son and he is seriously injured.

"I called her last night and told her what had happened, she asked me to keep her informed," Chris says.

"So she's not coming?" I ask.

Chris shakes his head.

"Why?" I ask, indignation and anger rising at Elizabeth's lack of maternal concern.

"I think she is afraid of the reception she will get," he says.

I shake my head, "Why does she have to make everything about her?"

I think for a moment, and anger rises in me as once again she is abdicating her responsibility as a mother, and I am determined to put a stop to it, I look at Chris and hold out my hand towards him.

"Give me your phone... please" I say, inwardly cringing at how sharp that sounded.

Chris rummages in his pocket and hands me his phone, I scroll through his contacts while he watches me with a small smile on his face.

I find Elizabeth and select her and wait, it rings out and then I hear her familiar voice.

"Hello, Chris? How is he?" I can hear the genuine worry in her voice and my anger subsides a little.

"This is Eva, and why don't you come and find out for yourself," I say bluntly.

There is a brief silence then Elizabeth speaks again.

"Hello Eva, how is he?" she asks.

"He's still unconscious, but he's stable now and I'm sure he would love to see his mother when he wakes up," I say trying to keep the bitterness and confrontation from my voice.

"I wasn't sure I'd be welcome," she says quietly.

"Not everything is about you Elizabeth," I say losing patience.

"Your son could have died yesterday, how would you feel if that had happened? You need to get over this already, yes you did a shitty thing when you didn't believe Gideon, but he has proved to you he was telling the truth and you came and you told him you believed him, and that was all he ever wanted, he doesn't care that you only did it because you wanted Chris back, and at this moment in the big scheme of things, does it really matter? Because I really don't think it does. Gideon was shot last night because his fucking batshit crazy ex decided that I should die and Gideon got in the way, now I know it would have been preferable to you if it had been me shot last night, but it wasn't, it was Gideon, and I really think you should be here for him when he wakes up."

I stop speaking and wait for Elizabeth's response to that.

"I don't hate you Eva, and I would never think it was preferable that you had died, and I can't believe that Corinne would do something like that. I understand now that Gideon loves you and knowing that, I also know if you had died or if anything had happened to the baby it would have destroyed him completely. I have had chance to think about everything that has happened and I realise now that you only did what you did, out of love for my son and I have been totally wrong about you," she says.

"Good, then get your ass here," I say, trying to hide my shock at what she just said.

I hang up with Elizabeth's assurances she is on her way to New York. I hand Chris his phone back and he smiles at me.

"You are amazing," he says as he retrieves his phone.

I shake my head, "No I'm not, I just love Gideon and want what's best for him and as much as I can't stand that woman, I feel that when he wakes up, his mother should be here," I say.

The door opens and I turn to look and I see my dad is standing there.

"Hi dad," I say and I stand and walk into his arms.

"Hey sweetheart, how is he?" he asks and then glances at the bed.

"Same," I say.

"You do know your mom is waiting outside?" he says.

I sigh, "I know, Cary has already told me that," I say.

Chris stands up, "I'm going to go to the cafeteria and get something to eat and drink, do you want anything Eva?"

"No thank you," I say and I watch as Chris leaves me alone with my dad. I retake my seat next to Gideon and scoop up his hand in mine again.

"Where's Cary?" I ask.

"With Monica," my dad replies.

I look at my dad carefully, and suddenly even though it certainly isn't the time or place I blurt out the question I have always had regarding my mom.

"Dad, do you know why is mom like she is, why is she so money obsessed and shallow, I asked her once you know, and she said, she would tell me one day when I wasn't so angry with her, why on earth did she pick money over your love, you two have a crazy strong chemistry it doesn't make any sense?" I say.

I look at the bed and my unconscious husband, "I could never consider anything so… pointless, over my love for Gideon," I say.

My dad smiles sadly, "She had her reasons sweetheart."

"So you know, and you just let her go?" I say incredulously, I point at the bed, "if this situation has told me anything it's that life is too damn short, money isn't the be all and end all, I know that sounds hypocritical considering I've grown up around wealth and I'm married to a billionaire but I love Gideon for who he is, not what he has," I say.

"Eva," my dad begins, the note of warning in his voice.

"No Victor, she's right, and its time I told her the truth," I look up and see my mom in the doorway.

I watch my dad stand up and offer my mom his seat, Cary also appears behind her and takes in the scene in front of him and he gives me a significant look and then silently backs out of the room.

"Monica are you sure?" my dad asks.

I watch my mom nod, "He's dead now, he can't hurt any of us anymore," she says. I pick up my ears at this and pay attention.

"Mom?" I ask.

"Monica now isn't really the time or place," my dad protests.

I watch as she nods, "yes it is, Eva is right if this situation proves anything it is that life _is_ too short, and she deserves to know why I denied her, her father for the majority of her life, and once she knows the truth hopefully she will forgive me."

I stare at her, "Mom it's not a question of forgiving you for anything, I just don't understand why... why... why you love money more than dad? Especially, when its blatantly obvious that you love dad intensely," I put my head down.

"I love your father with all my heart and I always have done," she says and she looks at my dad as she says that.

"So why on earth aren't you together?" I ask, not understanding as it all seems so simple to me.

"Because..." my mom stops.

"Because he's not rich enough, yeah I know you've told me before," I say bitterly and turn away from her.

"Eva please," my mom says and I see tears appearing in her eyes and the handkerchief appears in her hand.

I shake my head, "No mom, please not now, look just forget it as I can't handle one of your meltdowns right now," I say holding up my hand.

"Eva" I look up surprised at my dad's sharp tone, he looks at my mother, "For god's sake Monica, if you are going to tell her, then just tell her!" he says.

"My relationship with your father is complicated, I know you think I should have married him and that I'm just a shallow heartless gold digger who put money and a comfortable life before true love and happiness", she says.

"Well, you've never given me any other explanation to make me think otherwise," I say.

"No that's right and it's true I didn't, " she says.

"I'm going to tell you everything, right from the start, and then perhaps you will understand".

She takes a deep breath and begins to speak, I watch as my father moves a seat and sits beside her and holds her hand.

"My parents Monica and Gordon Tramell were not actually my parents at all, they were my aunt and uncle. My biological mother was Monica's little sister. She became pregnant with me, and my father didn't stay around, she was only 17 years old at the time, Gordon and Monica were desperate for a baby, but nothing was happening so it was arranged that they would take me. My father – Gordon was a bully, a nasty violent bully, he was an awful man. He was a complete narcissistic tyrant, unreasonable didn't even begin to cover how he behaved, he had to control everything and everyone, sometimes he even contradicted himself in his mission to be in complete control, he used his wealth and position to throw his weight about. My mother – Monica was terrified of him, I'm sure he used to hit her and possibly worse. As soon as they adopted me he refused to let my real mother have any contact with me, he was awful to her because apparently, she had... issues, eventually she committed suicide when I was about five. I remember Gordon and Monica talking about it, I overheard Gordon say something horrible that she'd done the right thing by ending it, as she was a loose cannon and would probably do something stupid as I got older. I obviously didn't understand what he meant at the time. Monica was destroyed by it though, I mean she _was_ her sister" mom pauses a moment and I wait for her to continue, I am horrified at what I am hearing.

"Everything came out though, when I became pregnant with you, Gordon was devastated even though I was older than my own mother had been. He lost his temper and told me I was a dirty little slut just like my real mother, he said I had to have an abortion, I said no and I left. Your father promised to take care of us, he gave up his job at the garage and he trained to be a cop, it had better prospects and pay and a decent pension, he was determined to provide for you and I loved him so much," she stops and gives my dad a scorching look.

"Gordon was outraged, basically because I had defied him and he had lost his control of me, plus it looked like we were really going to make a go of it against the odds, which burned him more than anything because he really wanted me to fall flat on my face."

I am sitting open-mouthed listening to this.

"Gordon had friends in the police force and so he threw his money about and used his influence to try to get your father thrown out of the police force, he basically tried to ruin his life. All because he no longer had a hold on me, and we were living our lives and refusing to do as he wanted. It was terrible for a while, we tried so hard to stay together but eventually we realised we couldn't win, we couldn't beat him, and we didn't want his threats hanging over our lives so we came to an arrangement, your father would step out of our lives and I went back home with you. Monica was overjoyed and Gordon thought he had won, but he couldn't behave himself even then, it was bad, he wanted me back under his thumb but he didn't want you, he tried to put you up for adoption, get rid of you, but I refused, and so he tried to do it behind my back, I found out and I decided to leave again and take you with me and return to your father but once again he used his influence so I couldn't".

"What did he do?" I ask.

"He swore that he would destroy him if I ever went back to him and I believed him, because I knew it wasn't an idle threat - he would. I actually feared for your father's life, that is how bad Gordon was. So I was stuck, he tried repeatedly to get rid of you but I always found out and managed to stop him, you have to remember I wasn't a minor, so my permission was needed to complete any legal documentation to have you adopted and I always refused, this made him resent me even more. In the end he threatened your life and I just snapped and I stood up to him and threatened to call the cops, he lost it and he actually tried to kill me he lost it so completely, he just went totally nuts, he beat me and tried to strangle me, my mother – Monica tried to shield me and for the first time in her life she also stood up to him to protect me, she stood up to him..." she stops a tear falling from her eye.

"What happened?" I ask, thinking that this man sounds like a sociopath.

She looks up at me, "He kicked her down a flight of stairs and she broke her back along with other long-lasting injuries, she was lucky he didn't kill her."

I gasp at the horror of what I have just heard.

"My father knew he had gone too far, and he threatened me that I would be next if I said anything, he blackmailed us getting us to agree not to say anything before he called for an ambulance obviously we agreed, and he basically said he would only continue to pay for my mother's care as long as we kept what had really happened to ourselves" she says.

I shake my head in disgust.

That is how we went on for years, we had this kind of uneasy truce, based on lies and dirty secrets, both afraid of what the other would do, he even stopped trying to have you adopted, to keep the status quo. I could tell he didn't like it but he got his revenge in the end though, when he died, he left the final insult and I'm sure that is why he decided to leave things alone for so long, because he knew he would get the final last word after his death, he instructed that all his money be left to his brother, and he cut my mother and me off completely, which left my mother's care now down to me. I was trying my hardest to make ends meet, your father helped out as much as he could, when I met George Barker, he was very wealthy, he was the answer to my prayers, so I married a man I didn't love, to provide me with the money I needed to care for my sick mother because it was my fault she was in that situation, I thought I'd got it all, he was prepared to take you on just as I was prepared to take on..." she stops and a tear rolls down her cheek and I can almost see the guilt rolling off her.

"Yes well, you know the rest, and we both know how well that turned out in the end, after George I remarried and divorced and remarried again and in the process accumulated my own wealth so that should I ever be alone again I would have money to fall back on for my mother's care, and I became the shallow, cold calculating gold digging career trophy wife, you know and despise."

I sit back in my seat and stare at my mother, everything suddenly making complete sense, every last thing, her obsessive over protectiveness after Nathan was down to the fact she feels guilt that because she married to get money to look after her mother she ended up putting me in a dangerous situation with Nathan.

"Oh mom I don't despise you, why didn't you tell me all this sooner?" I ask.

She shrugs but doesn't say anything and I know there is something she isn't saying, something more, but for today I'm not going to push it.

"And you knew all this?" I ask my dad.

My dad sighs and nods, "I did, I knew there was no way Monica seniors care could be maintained if your mom came to me, a cops wage just isn't enough, so I just accepted it."

I suddenly realise why he has never moved on, "You are waiting for her aren't you? When her mom dies she will be free and so you are waiting for her?" I say.

"I am," he says.

"Anyway, how is Gideon today?" my mom asks changing the subject so completely and asking in such a falsely bright voice that I just stare at her.

I look at my husband, "he is holding his own" I say.

The door opens and Chris appears, he is holding a pack of sandwiches, a chocolate bar and a bottle of water and he silently offers them to me. I take them and thank him even though I'm not hungry I know I need to eat, I watch as my mother stands and greets him warmly

My dad stands up and gives me a swift kiss, "I'd best be going now, I need to get myself sorted out, I have to go back to San Diego today," he says.

I stand up and hug my father tightly, "Ok, thank you for coming and supporting me last night" I say.

"No problem I was so proud of you last night... and being around all those rich folk wasn't too much of an ordeal," he says giving me wink.

I smile sadly, I don't want him to go not now, not now I know everything.

"Has Angus organised your flight?" I ask.

My dad nods, "yeah he called me to say that the plane would be ready to go at 11 am so I need to get a move on," he says.

I hug my dad once more and watch him say goodbye to Chris and my mom and then he is gone.

My mom stays a while longer, but Cary has gone home with Trey to get some rest. Late morning we are all sitting talking quietly when the door opens and I see Elizabeth standing there hesitantly.

I see Chris immediately stand up.

My mom watches my reaction and looks at Elizabeth and she rises gracefully to her feet and offers her hand.

"Hello, I'm Monica Stanton, Eva's mother," she says.

I see Elizabeth smile politely and accept the handshake, "Elizabeth Vidal, Gideon's mother," she says.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

I was still slightly reeling from the revelations my mother disclosed this morning when Elizabeth turned up. I don't want to deal with her at the moment with everything else that is whirling around in my head, so I open the food Chris brought me and mechanically start to eat.

The atmosphere is oppressive in here since Elizabeth arrived, and I start to feel like the walls are closing in on me and that I can't breathe.

"Eva, honey, are you alright?" my mom asks, looking at me carefully.

Unable to speak I nodded at her, indicating that I am fine and then I feel my lip tremble and tears leak from my eyes and I shake my head, admitting the truth, that no I'm not, I'm really not.

My mother immediately leaps into action, "Oh Eva" she says and she pulls me into a hug and that is my undoing, I burst into tears and I drop the food and cling to her, totally uncaring of Chris and Elizabeth witnessing this moment, I just cling to my mother and sob.

"I'm so sorry mom, for everything," I mutter in her ear.

My mom pushes me away from her and then pulls a handkerchief from her purse and dabs my eyes.

"Oh hush, don't even think about it," she says.

She carefully dabs my eyes and for some unknown reason I remember all the times she has told me not to rub my eyes and face as it can promote wrinkles, the thought that even at this moment she is concerned about me getting wrinkles is suddenly the funniest thing in the world, and I let out a snort of laughter and before I know it I am laughing helplessly and hysterically, the tears are pouring down my cheeks and I am totally out of control. Elizabeth and Chris watch me silently as I totally lose all self-control, howling with laughter and yet also sobbing like a baby.

My mom pulls me into another hug and rocks me like she did when I was a child and slowly I start to pull myself together. When I have eventually got myself under control I look up at the astonished faces.

"Sorry about that, must be the hormones," I say with a shrug.

Chris smiles, "I think you are entitled to some kind of emotional breakdown after everything you have been through in the past few hours," he says kindly.

I go to answer him when I hear a groan, I swallow the words and my attention is immediately and totally focused on the bed, and I lean over, grasping Gideon's hand.

"Gideon, Gideon, can you hear me?" I say urgently.

I feel him grip my hand and excitement rises in me, he can hear me, so I reach over and brush his hair back.

"I'm right here baby, I'm right here waiting for you to open your eyes and to come back to me," I say.

I feel a slight movement, and I hear another groan, and I speak again encouraging Gideon to come back to me.

"I'm here baby, I love you so much, and your mom and Chris are here too we are all waiting for you to wake up, so please open your eyes for me," I urge.

I gasp as his eyes slowly open and tears roll down my cheeks once more as I see those beautiful astonishingly blue eyes. He focuses them on me and as he does so the tears fall even faster from mine.

"Eva?" he croaks, from behind the oxygen mask he is wearing, he searches my face, and I realise he's worried because I'm crying, so I quickly dash the tears away.

"Yes, yes I'm right here" I stammer, and I lean down and moving the mask I press a kiss to his lips.

"Angel," he says and he pulls his hand from mine and cups my nape pulling me closer.

"Steady, be careful," I say as I pull away and replace the mask once more.

I watch as he looks around the room taking in his surroundings and all the medical equipment he is attached to, he seems confused and that morphs into surprise as his eyes fall on his mother.

"Mom?" he asks.

"Eva told me what happened, and asked me to come," she says a little haughtily.

I try not to roll my eyes at that, but I suppose it could have been worse.

"What happened? Why?" he begins and he looks at Chris and then at my Mom and now there is a look of total bewildered confusion on his face as if he has no idea what is going on.

"You were shot baby," I say carefully.

Gideon stares at me blankly for a moment and then it's as if he suddenly remembers everything in a rush and I see it as it happens, by the expression on his face as the blankness vanishes and the panic fills his eyes as he frantically scans me from head to foot, and he tries to sit up and reaches out towards me, wanting to touch me to make sure I am whole, he winces when he moves and then falls back against the pillow with a loud groan.

"Lie still!" I snap at him.

"Corinne, did she... are you hurt? The baby?" he asks, ignoring me completely, the words are all tumbling out in a rush and his hand is still franticly trying to reach me, and I do roll my eyes this time.

"Will you be careful!" I say sharply.

I grasp his searching hand, pushing it back on to the bed, but I don't release it and I sit on the bed beside him so he can reach me and touch me, so he can satisfy himself that I am unharmed, and I reiterate that with what I say next.

"I'm fine, I'm totally unhurt, and the baby is fine too, we both got thoroughly checked out last night, but you and I are going to have words when you are well, because taking a bullet for someone isn't brave, it's fucking stupid and you could have been killed," I say trying reassure him but also show him just how pissed I am at what he did.

"Eva" my mother chides.

I look at her, "No mom" I snap, although I'm fairly certain her rebuke was for my foul language, and not the sentiment of what I said, as mom hates bad language.

Chris steps in, backing me up, "Eva's right, we have been worried sick all night, you nearly died Gideon, and you were in surgery for hours, what on earth possessed you? You have a wife and a baby on the way, do you want your child to grow up without a father?"

Chris is getting more and more worked up and I can see just how afraid and worried he actually was.

Gideon however, is just glaring defiantly and he turns to look at me and I let him see all the anguish I have felt over the past hours, and when he sees it his gaze softens slightly, but then he turns to Chris once more.

"What you don't realise is, that if Corinne had shot Eva last night, if anything had happened to Eva and the baby, I would have taken that fucking gun from her and killed myself because my life would have been over if anything had happened to them."

Everyone gasps at that shocking confession but he looks totally unrepentant for what he has just said and continues to glare at Chris coldly. As I let out my own shocked exclamation, he grips my hand even more tightly, as if he never wants to let me go.

He turns and looks at me now and that steely glare softens and his eyes fill with remorse at the pain he caused me, "I'm sorry I worried you, but it was instinctive for me, you were in danger, so I had to protect you and our baby," he says and he places his hand on my stomach.

I can't help it, I smile at him, "I was slightly more than worried Gideon," I say eventually.

My mom stands up, I think she is still reeling from what he has just said and she looks around and speaking to nobody in particular announces she is going to find someone.

"I'll just go and tell them that Gideon has woken up," she says.

"Thank you Monica" Gideon says quietly and she gives him a small smile.

I watch as she leaves the room and Gideon turns his attention to his mother.

"I'm glad you came mom," he says quietly.

Elizabeth shoots a quick look at me, "I'm your mother, of course, I came," she says.

It takes all the self-control I have for me not to snort or make some other equally sarcastic reaction to that, and I see Gideon shoot me a quick amused glance so I am obviously showing some sort of reaction, but then what she says next completely floors me.

"You have Eva to thank, she persuaded me to come, I wasn't going to, as I wasn't sure what sort of reception I'd get after the appalling way I have behaved, but she made me see sense, and she made me realise that life really is too short, in fact, she has made me realise a lot of things, she is a remarkable woman Gideon, and you are very lucky to have her."

Well, shit! I stare at Elizabeth, not quite believing what I am hearing, and realise my mouth is hanging open and so I quickly shut it unable to say a word. Gideon looks amused at my reaction, as I take a quick look at him.

"I know I am," he says, his eyes fixed on me.

Our attention is drawn to the door once more as it opens and my mom returns with a nurse and doctor, and we all step out of the way while they examine Gideon, I see Chris pull his phone out and call Christopher and Ireland to let them know Gideon is awake, my dad is on his way back to San Diego now and Cary is at home resting but I quickly shoot off a text to them both, and also to Raul, Richard and Angus letting them know Gideon has come round.

_**Gideon is awake! **_

Cary's reply comes through first.

_**Brilliant news, let me know when you give him the ass kicking he deserves for what he did, as I have to see it!**_

I smile as I read it, as it is so typical Cary and I quickly text him back.

_**Sorry,**_ _**already done!**_

My phone pings with another message this time from my dad.

_**Good to know, give him my regards.**_

Richard sends me a brief message thanking me for letting him know and telling me to give his best wishes to Gideon, but I don't get any reply from Raul or Angus, to be fair, I don't really expect them to respond as they are probably far too busy still dealing with the fallout from last night.

The doctors are astounded at just how well Gideon is when they have examined him, especially considering the fact he was shot, lost an enormous amount of blood and was in surgery for hours, and after checking and re-checking him to make sure of their findings it is decided he can be removed from the ICU and into a private room, but he has also been told quite categorically that despite his astonishing progress he is not a well man and he will be in hospital for a while yet.

**oooOOOooo**

A while later and we are settled in the private room, and Gideon has just been examined yet again. My mom has gone home and Chris and Elizabeth have also both left to give Gideon and I some time alone.

"I am sorry Angel, I didn't think past the fear of seeing Corinne pointing that gun at you, I just knew I had to protect you and our baby, I couldn't stand there and see you get shot," Gideon says to me.

I sigh, "I get that, but watching you fall at my feet with blood pouring from you was totally horrific, I had no idea if you were already dead, dying or anything, it was horrible, please don't make me go through anything like that again," I say.

I see him think about that, and after a moment he nods just once and I squeeze his hand, I am certain from that response, he would do it again, so need him to know the full ramifications of his actions.

"Plus how do you think I could carry on if you had died? I couldn't do it Gideon," I say.

His head turns to face me and he looks shocked as if that concept had never occurred to him, "you'd carry on for our baby" he says eventually.

I nod, "I would, yes, but I wouldn't be the same person, how could I be when half of me was missing?"

I pause "and while we are on the subject of the baby, if you had died, your child would grow up without his or her father – just like you did, do you really want that?" I ask.

I know that is a low blow, and almost akin to emotional blackmail but I really need to make him see what a monumentally stupid thing it was, that he did last night.

He stares at me and I see the moment that registers with him, "I... I…" he says.

"You didn't think about that," I finish for him, I sigh again and shake my head, "I know you didn't, all you could see in that moment was just you protecting us, and thank you for that, but don't do it again!" I say.

The door opens before he can reply to that, and Angus and Raul come in.

Raul smiles, "Good to see you awake," he says.

Angus just glares at Gideon, and I notice his eyes are shining with unshed tears.

He turns to Raul, "I'll do the debrief, go and relieve Clancy, he needs a break."

I immediately catch there is something distinctly off about Angus's tone and I'm immediately on alert wondering what has happened now.

Raul nods and disappears out of the door, Angus watches him go and as soon as the door is shut he rounds on Gideon.

"Of all the stupid, idiotic, things you have done in your life, what you did last night takes the bloody biscuit!" he says his Scottish accent very pronounced and thick with his obvious anger.

I'm shocked and I realise in a rush why Angus sounded so off, he too has been worried sick about Gideon and I'm guessing he probably also feels a little guilty that it happened at all when he is meant to protect him.

To hear Angus reprimand Gideon so harshly validates for me everything I have said and I have to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing at Gideon's shocked expression, at the normally mild-mannered Scotsman's outburst, but I can't stop the smile that fills my face, as I've never seen Angus so pissed.

Angus sighs and shakes his head, he pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers and I know he is trying to stop the tears that are threatening.

"What the hell were you thinking lad?!" he says in a slightly softer tone but still filled with more anger than I have ever heard from him.

"I didn't think, I was just trying to protect Eva," Gideon mutters.

"Oh, so you want my job now too do you? We have set protocol in place for such eventualities, you know what you are supposed to do if something like that happened, you know the set protocol, you know exactly what they are, because we designed and implemented them together," Angus rants, and it is a testament to just how upset he is that he is repeating himself, something he never normally does.

Gideon glares unapologetically at him, "it is one thing having a protocol - in theory, but when it comes to putting it into practice it is another matter entirely, as for me, instinct takes over and overrules common sense and any protocol in place, and another thing if we _had_ followed them you would be the one lying here - or worse, and I don't want anyone I love to be injured or killed because of me!"

I see Angus take a sharp breath in at those words and his gaze softens considerably.

"Well we'll say no more about it for now, you're on the mend and that's all that matters," he says, backing down.

"What happened with Corinne?" Gideon asks I look at Angus wanting to know the answer to that one as well.

Angus sits down on the chair next to me, "that's why I'm here, I've got a lot to tell you."

I lean forward as I want to hear what happened after we left in the ambulance.

"Before we talk about last night though, there are a couple of other things which you need to know about," Angus begins.

"Alright," Gideon says, he is gripping my hand tightly and I respond by squeezing back.

"Dr Lucas was stripped of his licence to practice medicine yesterday, and the official letter arrived informing you of that today," Angus says, and I watch as Gideon smiles and leans back, but there is something more, I can see it on Angus's face.

"And," I say urging him to continue and Angus looks at me, briefly hesitating before continuing.

"And this morning he was found dead in his apartment, he'd taken a cocktail of various tablets that he had stolen from the hospital and a hell of a lot of alcohol."

Angus pauses and Gideon's eyes widen in shock, he lets out a long breath, blowing out his cheeks as he does so.

I watch his reaction and frown, "Don't you dare!" I say sharply.

"What?" he asks looking confused.

"Don't you dare put the blame of that on to yourself," I say.

Gideon stares at me in surprise, "I wasn't going to, he chose to do what he did, I wasn't responsible for that, it was just another in a long line of bad decisions he made which were finally all coming home to roost for him, I was just experiencing a sense of relief that after all these years it is now over, I have finally got what I wanted, and that is the acknowledgement and confirmation that he shouldn't be a practicing paediatrician after what he did, and also the fact that someone else agreed with me and took the necessary steps to ensure he no longer could, that overwhelmed me a little for a moment, especially after waiting so long," he pauses and gives me a small smile.

"Then there is the fact it happened so quickly and easily in the end after all these years of secrets and denial and then the fact that these complete strangers believed me, they believed me that he lied and did something about it, which is what I've always wanted, but in reality never ever expected, so I guess what I was feeling was a sense of relief and closure, but what he chose to do as a result of that isn't my concern."

"Oh," I say taken aback by Gideon's pragmatic attitude.

"We reported him for malpractice on an epic scale, by any stretch of the imagination a paediatrician lying to cover up child abuse is monumentally wrong on every possible level, in fact the only thing worse would be the paediatrician to _be_ the paedophile, we did nothing wrong, how Dr Lucas chose to take the news that his past and his poor decisions had caught up with him, and that he was finally being held accountable for his actions, was entirely his decision," Gideon says with a shrug.

"It was" I agree, still a little stunned at Gideon's reaction to this.

I get what he is saying though, it almost feels like an anti climax to get the result so quickly and relatively easily, after the pain, heartache and damage the lies have caused over the years. I just feel proud of the part I played to help him get that conclusion, justice and the outcome he deserved and I too feel no remorse at Dr Lucas's decision to end his own life.

Gideon looks up at Angus, "ok what else?" he says.

"The revelations last night at the gala have gone viral and it has provoked an overwhelming outpouring of support for both Crossroads and Survivors, many high profile people are pledging financial support and all of you are being portrayed as courageous for revealing your pasts the way you did, and at one point the Crossroads server collapsed after the dramatic increase in traffic to the site, but it was soon restored." Angus says.

"Ok, so that's good, that is what we wanted," Gideon says.

"Now to the events of what happened after the gala," Angus says, and I stiffen slightly, this is it.

"After we arrived at the Penthouse, I caught sight of Mrs Giroux approaching and as soon as I saw she was armed I activated the code red alert" Gideon nods but I look confused and Angus smiles at me.

"Gideon has a number of security operatives who aren't visible like me or Raul but they are always around, but lurking in the background and in constant contact, especially around the penthouse, so when I saw Mrs Giroux, I raised the alarm and they broke cover to assist."

I nod understanding now, and Angus continues.

"As she raised her gun to fire they moved in to apprehend her and I moved in to protect you and Mrs Cross, but you blocked me from doing so by getting in my bloody way, resulting you being hit," Angus pauses and glares at Gideon once more.

"Mrs Giroux was apprehended and the emergency services and law enforcement were called, Mrs Giroux was hysterical, screaming and crying and she was clearly heard by numerous witnesses to say 'I didn't mean to hit him, I love him, it was her, I meant to get her', and she even said this to the arresting police officer. We, that is my team, myself and Mr Reyes went to the police station and we all gave our accounts of what happened, I called in Raul from his day off to assist and I also called Mr Madani to join us when it became clear Mrs Giroux was being released on bail, to try and prevent this from happening".

"Wait, Corinne was released, how the hell did she manage that?!" Gideon splutters.

Angus nods, "She was, her father was responsible for that decision, he arrived and shortly afterwards we were informed that she was being released on bail. I have no idea what favours he called in to achieve that, but despite the fact that by rights she should be sitting in a jail cell for what she did, her father managed to come and post bail and he gave all the necessary assurances that he would be totally responsible for her, in light of this, Mr Madani ordered a restraining order on Mrs Giroux for Mrs Cross and for yourself, although we all believe she poses no further risk to you, it is only Mrs Cross who still faces any credible threat. Mr Reyes asked if anyone needed to be told about what had happened, and so I called Mr Vidal to inform him of the incident, and Mr Reyes called Mrs Stanton. Raul, Mr Madani and Mr Reyes then left the police station went to the hospital and I returned to the Penthouse to get a change of clothes and other items for Mrs Cross. Before I went to the hospital I also put in place measures to try and contain the news of the shooting to prevent it reaching the media."

I listen to Angus wondering what he did and I remember Gideon telling me he was ex British Secret Service.

"After that was complete, I made my way here to the hospital. Ben Clancy who had arrived with Mr and Mrs Stanton had volunteered his services and was guarding the room Mrs Cross was using - and he still is. We had security team members dotted around the hospital in case there was any leak to the media and Raul stayed on the premises overseeing the team. We were and still are all on high alert in case Mrs Giroux attempts to gain access to the hospital in search of Mrs Cross or yourself, as in my honest opinion, she wasn't entirely stable."

Gideon nods.

"When you came out of surgery and were moved to the ICU, Mr and Mrs Stanton went home, as did Mr Reyes, Mr Vidal junior, Miss Vidal and Mr McFarlane."

"Mr McFarlane?" Gideon asks.

"Trey" Angus supplies, and I am surprised at that, I didn't know Trey's surname either.

"Christopher and Ireland were here?" Gideon asks in surprise.

Angus nods, and I butt in, "They were Gideon, and everyone was so worried about you when Chris told Christopher to take Ireland home you could tell he didn't want to go," I say.

"Mr Vidal senior and Mr Taylor stayed the night in here with Mrs Cross," Angus says.

Angus opens his mouth to continue when the door flies open and Raul rushes in.

"Corinne Giroux is on the grounds, and she's armed, she is looking for Mrs Cross, she has been to the Penthouse, and we have footage of her making a nuisance of herself there, when the police were called she fled and made her way here, I've contacted Arash Madani and he is liaising with the police officers to bring her in and get her sectioned, she won't be able to wriggle out of it this time as she has broken her bail conditions and is as we speak she is trying her hardest to violate her restraining order as well," he says.

As I listen to Raul say this it hits me with a sudden clarity what she is doing, she isn't crazy at all, she knows exactly what she doing, she has had this planned meticulously, possibly for weeks, and with that realisation I recall her chilling threat when she confronted Gideon at the penthouse and the words ring out loud and clear in my head, confirming for me exactly what her intention is '_You will regret this Gideon,_ _I might be so upset that I won't ever forgive you for this, I might be so upset that I might do something else, something more permanent this time'_, we had automatically assumed it was another crazy ass suicide threat, when it actually could have been murder she was threatening.

"Stop them, we don't want her sectioned!" I blurt out.

Raul and Angus stare at me as if I'm the crazy one.

"We don't want her sectioned because she's not crazy, and she needs to stand trial, I admit she's not stable but she's also not out of her mind crazy, she is, however, a calculating manipulative bitch, she knows exactly what she is doing and if my theory is right she has been planning this for a while, you have to listen and trust me about this, if she was crazy, I mean _really_ crazy you'd have a massacre on your hands, she would gone on a rampage and she would have shot anyone who got in her way, but she didn't, because she is in total control of her actions and knows exactly what she is doing, she has one objective – me out of the way, and I think she is pretending to be totally batshit crazy in the hope that she will evade any repercussions for achieving that goal, that she will be declared unfit to stand trial or get a lesser punishment, and we fell for it, we have said time and time again that she is unstable and assumed that what she has been doing has been lodged in the realms of la la land, and I admit, wanting to kill someone isn't rational behaviour, and yes she was totally hysterical last night – but that is only because she was mortified because she'd shot the wrong person, she is unstable but she isn't batshit crazy, she is too calculating for that she just wants me dead, it's all a pre-meditated, an act of revenge, she wants to punish Gideon, because she knows he loves me and not her."

"But," Raul says still looking sceptical.

I shake my head, "No, please trust me on this, and please listen to me, if we go right back – when Gideon told her he was with me and made it clear to her there was nothing for her what did she do? She started acting irrational, hysterical and needy, she started _acting_ crazy, but it didn't work because all it succeeded in doing was getting Gideon to call her husband to come and take care of her!"

Raul and Angus look at each other as they consider what I am saying, but I continue, as I know I am right about this.

"Then don't forget I saw the footage of her with Gideon after we announced our marriage and she said and I quote, '_You will regret this Gideon,_ _I might be so upset that I won't ever forgive you for this, I might be so upset that I might do something else, something more permanent this time'_, we dismissed that at the time assuming she meant she would hurt herself again which was totally reasonable considering she had just tried to off herself with an overdose, but she was telling him right there that she would never forgive him for choosing me over her and warning him that she would get her revenge for that, which she has tried to do, and that revenge is to kill me, because of what she saw as Gideon's betrayal. Yes that is mentally unstable, very much so, but it's still well within the realms of reality, BUT and this is really important everything she has done up to this point has been manipulative and conniving, but not crazy, if she really was completely batshit crazy, and operating on another level, everyone around us would also be in danger, anyone who got in her way would have been shot, she would have just kept on shooting in the hopes she got the result she wanted, but she didn't because she has planned this meticulously and if she is sectioned she thinks she will be able to plead insanity, she will be declared unfit to stand trial or get away with a lesser charge on the grounds of diminished responsibility and if that happens, we won't get justice for what she did last night, she is a lot of things but she isn't insane and we want her to be held fully accountable for what she did" I say.

Raul nods and pulls out his phone and calls Arash and relays everything I have said, and a moment later Raul is offering me his phone.

I take it from him, "Arash, we do not want her sectioned do you hear me," I yell.

"I hear you, and I totally get what you are saying, but are you sure about this and more importantly can we prove it?" he asks.

"I am as sure as I can be without knowing for absolute certainty, I totally believe she knows exactly what she is doing, and yes we can prove that, it's all down to emotional blackmail with her, cold and calculated actions to try and get what she wants, and when that didn't work for her she stepped it up a notch, she wants to teach Gideon a lesson for not wanting her and what is the best way to hurt him, remove him from the one thing he has declared that he loves more than anything else, me!" I say.

"But she knows you are pregnant, surely she...?" Arash says.

I quickly interrupt him, "Since when has an innocent life bothered her, we have more than good reason to believe that she took a damned overdose knowing that she was pregnant with Giroux's baby! " I exclaim, and then another thought crosses my mind.

"Plus don't you think she recovered from that overdose very quickly? I have had my suspicions for a while that she made sure she didn't take enough to kill herself and I'm guessing she probably engineered being found in time as well. She should have been admitted to a psych ward for an evaluation after a stunt like that, but only days later she was walking the streets and arranging a fucking book launch! That is just an assumption on my part but don't you think she should be held accountable for attempted murder and whatever else you can get to stick, for what she did to Gideon?" I ask.

"Absolutely, ok leave it with me, I'll sort it," he says and hangs up.

I hand Raul his phone back, "He's sorting it" I say.

**oooOOOooo**

**(GIDEON)**

I feel like my head is going to explode with the events of the last twenty-four hours, I look at my wife who is at this moment sleeping on the cot which was brought in for her. I am relieved she is finally getting some rest and I'm pleased she has been treated so well by the staff in the hospital.

As I watch her my mind starts to replay the events as I remember them. The fear I felt as I saw Corinne waving a gun around, I know what I was supposed to do if that scenario ever occurred but in that moment all I could see was protecting Eva and the baby and also a part of me couldn't allow Angus to put himself in jeopardy.

I smile as I remember his ass-kicking, he really ripped me a new one, I had no idea he harboured such deep emotional feelings about me, I know I have always viewed him as much more than an employee, I love him like a son loves a father, he was for a long time the only father figure I had, but I never realised that he harboured any real paternal affection for me.

Then Eva had persuaded my mother to come, I have no idea how she managed that, but I'm certain she probably wasn't tactful about it. I take a moment to let that sink in, she got my mother to admit she was wrong, that is monumental. Nobody ever has ever managed to achieve that feat. I was shocked to learn that Chris stayed here overnight by my bedside, I hadn't expected that, or the fact Christopher and Ireland came to the hospital and were worried about me. It is still unbelievable to me that people were worried... about me, and that is a concept I am still struggling to come to terms with.

I lean back and rest my head against the pillow and it hits me that if I had died Eva would have been alone with our child, yes she would have been materially taken care of, she wouldn't have any financial worries ever again, but that in itself would also have left her incredibly vulnerable, for the first time I really think about all the possible ramifications of my actions.

My mind hops to the other things which have come up, Dr Lucas – I am slightly surprised at myself by my total indifference to his suicide, I realised in that moment that the therapy sessions I have been having are working, they are making me see things more rationally and logically, also I am liking the feeling I get every time a long standing issue from my past are dealt with, like when I apologised to Anne Lucas, when my mother acknowledged she was wrong and that she now believed me, now that other people believed that what Dr Lucas did was wrong and punished him for it, that feeling deep inside me of something slotting into place and the sense of almost serenity that brings me, I realise that I am slowly putting together all the broken parts of me, I am healing, I am becoming whole. As I think this I realise, I haven't had a nightmare or an Atypical parasomnia episode since the night I got back from California after securing the injunction, and that one was one of the not so bad ones, it was one of the ones about my dad, I quickly do the maths that was the day before the gala dinner where we announced we were engaged, I count the weeks and quickly realise it's the longest I have ever gone in my life, I don't want to read too much into that, but it is certainly encouraging, and it gives me hope that I can eventually fulfil the dream Eva has of us spending the entire night together.

I gaze at my sleeping wife, I have Eva to thank for all this progress I have made, I never want to go back to the man I was before I met her.

As I watch her I remember what she told me earlier, after Angus and Raul had left, she had told me her mother had confessed to her the reasons behind why she is the way she is, that had been a revelation and a half!

I had always suspected that Monica Stanton wasn't the fragile woman she always appeared to be, yes circumstances throughout her life had definitely damaged her and had a profound effect on her mental health but she was strong, undoubtedly so.

I recall what Eva had told me earlier...

_Raul and Angus have now left and Eva and I are alone, I look at my wife closely, something is still bothering her, something is on her mind, I wonder what it is and if it is related to the events of last night._

_I reach out for her, "Angel" I say carefully._

_She looks up and she immediately responds giving me her hand, I rub my thumb over her knuckles._

"_Are you still angry with me?" I ask._

_She smiles, "yes, what you did..." she trails off and shakes her head and to my horror tears start to fall again._

"_Angel please don't cry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I say._

_She shakes her head and sniffs, "I don't know how mom did it," she says suddenly almost to herself_

_"What?" I ask, I am totally confused by that comment._

_Eva looks at me and seems to think about something carefully and I realise this is what is eating at her, something else has happened and it is to do with Monica._

_I wait for her to tell me, I am confident she will because she has made a point of saying that there should be no secrets between us, and it seems as though she has a big one which she wants to share with me, so I wait patiently for her tell me in her own way what has happened._

_"Mom has finally told me why she is the way she is," she says at last._

_I'm not sure what she is talking about, so I just wait for her to elaborate._

_"Why she is so obsessed with money, and why she chose money over the love of my father," she says._

_My eyes widen at this, this is something I had said I would try to find out for her after she had talked with her mother and been left even more confused as to why she prioritised money so highly, but with everything else that has happened recently, it had totally slipped my mind._

_"It was a horrific story," Eva says quietly, "but it makes me realise just how strong my mom has been over the years and why she was so completely guilt-ridden over what happened with me and why she turned into an obsessive over-protective crazy woman as a result."_

_I silently will her to continue, my interest is immediately peaked at this, this is something which Eva has wondered about for such a long time to finally have the answers must be huge for her._

"_Mom's parents weren't her parents, they were actually her aunt and uncle," she begins, "her biological mom was a teenager who had been left high and dry by her asshole boyfriend, so it was decided that her older sister and her husband would take mom and raise her as their own," she pauses and I nod in understanding, acknowledging that fact._

"_Mom's dad, she said his name was Gordon Tramell, well he was an asshole of epic proportions, controlling, violent, narcissistic, bully... evil sociopath is how I would describe him after what mom told me," she says. _

"_Well, to cut a long story short, when mom got pregnant with me, he tried to force her to abort me, she refused and ran away, she went to my dad and he did the right thing, he gave up his job as a motor mechanic and joined the police force instead, and they loved each other and were making it work, but Gordon wasn't having any of that, he was mightily pissed, firstly because mom had disobeyed him and he had lost his control over her but he was also pissed because it looked like mom and dad were making it work against the odds, and he decided he wasn't having that, so he tried to sabotage them, he was rich and had friends in powerful places and he used his wealth and influence to try and get my dad thrown out of the police force and to discredit him, from what mom said he made their lives a misery that eventually they had no choice but to part and she went home with me," she stops and shakes her head._

"_He wasn't happy that he had succeeded in breaking them up, and he continued to try to get rid of me, by trying to get me adopted, but even though she was quite young, because mom wasn't a minor her consent was needed because she was my mother and so she always found out and put a stop to it. She even considered going back to my dad, but he threatened my dad's life if she left so she was stuck, he carried on playing mind games until one day apparently he threatened my life, and mom snapped, she stood up to him to protect me and he attacked her, her mom who by all accounts was terrified of him also stood up to him at this point to protect my mom and he... he... he nearly killed her, mom said he kicked her down a flight of stairs, and she broke her back leaving her with life changing injuries, he realised what he had done and he blackmailed them into keeping quiet, he said he would get his wife the medical care she now needed as long as they kept their mouths shut, and that is how they lived for years, mom said it was an uneasy truce nobody doing anything to rock the boat, he even stopped his games of trying to get rid of me." _

_My mouth is hanging open at this I can't believe what I am hearing._

"_Everything changed when he died though, he had the final revenge, mom didn't say this but I think he hated living with that status quo and wanted to show he was the one in control one final time, he cut my mom and her mom off completely and didn't leave a penny to them, so my mom was left with her mother's medical care to pay for, she said my dad tried to help as much as he could but it wasn't enough to maintain the care she had, and it was around that time she met George - Nathan's dad, all kinds of filthy rich and eligible and as such he appeared to the answer to her prayers, so she married a man she didn't love just so that her mother could have the medical care she needed, when it all came out about what happened, what Nathan did, well that nearly destroyed her that she had put me in a dangerous situation and that is why she was the way she was with me, because she could never forgive herself that she put me in danger because of the decisions she made"._

_"But," I say._

_Eva nods, "I know it's unreasonable to think that, but she believes that she is to blame because she took the decision to marry George Barker to get money to pay for her moms care, which resulted in Nathan doing what he did to me, in fact, I'd go as far as thinking she blames herself for everything, she told me once that she wished she had never met my father, she never regretted having me, but I think some part of her deep down thinks that if she had never met my dad and never had me then that whole incident would never have happened and her mom wouldn't need round the clock care, she wouldn't have married George and I wouldn't have been raped" Eva stops speaking and I am completely overwhelmed by what she has just told me, but before I can respond she continues._

"_As you know, mom divorced George and got a good settlement she moved on to husband number 2 and he was an asshole – he was very rich too but he had a gambling problem, a big one, he was a whale who didn't bat an eyelid at dropping thousands of dollars in one sitting at a casino, I often wondered why mom married him in the first place, but now it all becomes clear, I now think she knew the marriage wouldn't work so she deliberately set out to just get what she could from him. She realised quite quickly that being a career trophy wife was lucrative and she made the most of it, not for herself, purely so that her mother could have the best care she could possibly get. So, as I say mom divorced him got another good settlement and moved on again, to Richard, and she has been with him ever since, and I think of the three she has more feelings for him than anyone else, because of how he has taken good care of me as well as her, but that didn't stop her sleeping with dad, he will always be her one true love" I say._

_I nod, "Is her mother still alive?" I ask._

_Eva nods, "I think so, my dad was there when she was telling me all this, and it all fell into place why he had never moved on, and I asked him outright if he was waiting for her and he admitted it, he said he was"._

_I let out a long breath, "Jesus, that is one hell of a story" I say._

_I am shocked to the core by what I have just heard and my concern now is that Eva will try and take some of the blame for her mother's situation._

"_You do know that none of what happened is your fault?" I say carefully._

_She nods at me, "I know that, but..." she trails off. _

_I reach for her and in that moment I make the decision to look into the care Monica Stanton's mother is receiving..._

I am pulled from my thoughts by the door opening and there stands Monica, she smiles at me and looks at Eva sleeping peacefully.

"Oh good she is getting some rest at last," she says, and then she turns her attention to me, "How are you Gideon?" she asks as she sits herself down.

"I'm fine, I'm glad you're here, I need to discuss something with you," I say.

"Oh?" she asks and I see the handkerchief appear and her fingers twist it nervously.

"Eva told me," I say.

Monica looks at me and realisation dawns.

"She told me everything, and I want to help," I state firmly.

"But," she says and shakes her head, "No I couldn't possibly ask you to do that," she says.

"You're not, I'm offering," I say, "In fact I'm not offering, I'm telling you that I am going to do this, I will look into the care your mother is receiving and I will assume financial responsibility for it, I can certainly afford it, and what is the use of having money if it doesn't help the people you love, I love Eva, she loves you and you love your mother, so it's simple, I will pay for your mothers medical care and that way everyone is happy," I state waving my hand emphatically.

"I don't know what to say," Monica says.

"There is no need to say anything" I reply.


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

**(EVA)**

I awaken to the sound of voices and I open my eyes and stretch. I look up to see my mother sitting next to the bed and I sit up.

"Mom," I say.

She turns and I can see immediately that she has been recently crying, I am on my feet and sitting beside her instantly.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I ask anxiously, I glance at Gideon who is just lying there impassively watching us.

"You told Gideon," she says quietly.

I am confused then I realise what she is getting at and I nod, she's obviously upset because I have disclosed this, just like she was when I told him about what had happened with Nathan, she had gotten herself into a state about that, I am about to argue and defend myself but then I realise that was a situation which was about me, this is different, this was about her.

"We don't have secrets mom," I say carefully trying not to sound too defensive about it, "he's my husband, and if I'm totally honest I needed to talk to him about it, that was some pretty heavy and horrific stuff you shared with me and I needed my husband's support to work through it," I add trying to justify my reasons.

"Eva it's alright, I'm not angry with you for telling Gideon," my mother interrupts, and I sit back in my seat, well now, that has confused me, she was furious when I told Gideon about Nathan, so what is this about and why has she been crying?

The confusion must show on my face as Gideon steps in at this point and speaks.

"Your mother is just a little emotional, because I have told her that I will assume financial responsibility for her mother's care," Gideon explains.

I stare at him, not quite believing what he has just said, "You did what?" I ask.

"I am going to take over the responsibility for her mother's care," he says watching me carefully.

I stare at my husband, unable to say anything and I shake my head, I need to get out of here before I say something I am going to regret. Thankfully my stomach growls with hunger giving me the perfect excuse. My head is now whirling with this new information and what the possible ramifications of it could be.

"I need to use the bathroom, and I'm hungry, so I'm going to go to the cafeteria, do you want anything?" I ask trying to keep my voice as neutral as I can and Gideon shakes his head, he is frowning slightly and watching me closely, he can tell that I haven't taken this news well, I glance at my mother questioningly and she also says no.

I go to the bathroom and then reaching for my purse I go leave the room to find the cafeteria. Gideon's eyes follow me and as I look at him I see the fear appearing in them, he thinks I'm running. I take a deep breath and force a smile and walk over to the bed and press a kiss to his head.

"I won't be long, I'm hungry," I say quietly, Gideon, grips my hand and urges me closer and curling his hand around the back of my neck he pulls me close and presses an insistent kiss to my lips, then he pulls away and still holding me tightly he presses his forehead against mine.

"I love you Angel" he whispers anxiously, and I give him a genuine smile and caress his face with my hand, a gesture which makes him close his eyes briefly and nuzzle into my hand.

"I know you do, and I love you with all my heart," I say trying to reassure him that I'm not leaving, well I am, but not in the sense he believes I am.

I watch as he hesitates a moment and then nods and he slowly releases his hold on me as if he has accepted that what I have told him is the truth.

Then with the force of a ton of bricks being dropped from a great height I understand _why_ he has done what he has, he doesn't really care about my mother and her mother, but he loves me completely and he knows that I love my mother.

So to him, in his mind he is doing this for me, and I suppose his logic tells him this could only have a positive effect on my mother's attitude and behaviour towards money and that would make me happy, this is the obvious way that he feels he can help, but he just doesn't understand the deeper less pleasant implications of what his help could also do.

I leave the room and close the door as I turn to head towards the cafeteria I walk into Cary who has just arrived.

"Hey baby girl, how is he?" Cary asks.

"He's doing well, really well," I say, and offer a weak smile.

Cary frowns, "What's up then, you look like someone just pissed in your coffee?"

I grab his arm, "I'm going to get something to eat, come with me and I'll tell you."

We walk in silence towards the cafeteria and Cary just keeps shooting me sideways glances, he is waiting for me to start talking, we eventually find the cafeteria and grab some food and sit down at a vacant table.

"Ok spill" Cary says as he picks up his fork and prods at the food on his plate.

"Mom has finally told me her reasons why she is like she is," I say.

Cary snorts, "Which part, the obsessive stalker part or the obsessed with money part?"

"Both, what she told me explains both," I say.

Cary pauses, his fork suspended in mid-air, "I see, and I'm guessing it's not a good story" he says.

It's my turn to snort now, "No, it's one of the most heartbreaking stories I've ever heard," I say sadly.

"Ok, I'm all ears," he says and then he pops the forkful of food in his mouth and he waits for me to elaborate.

I lean forward and proceed to tell Cary everything my mother told me, he stares at me he is rendered speechless and it takes him a few moments after I have finished to say something.

"Jesus" he says eventually, leaning back in his chair when the story comes to an end, "You couldn't make that stuff up, it certainly explains her stalker tendencies and wanting to know your every movement, if her dad was that much of a control freak... learnt behaviour and all that!" he says with a shrug.

I nod, "Yes that's what I thought, but it also explains a lot of other things, why she has always been so guilt-ridden over Nathan, not to mention her continual obsession with money," I say.

"Yeah but the obsession with money was a result of circumstances, born out of a matter of need, not because she was greedy or materialistic, and it also explains how she has constantly dreamed of getting you set up with a rich husband, and why she was so overjoyed when Cross started sniffing around you, she wanted to set you up so that if anything happened to her, her mom wouldn't be a financial burden on you," he says.

I hadn't actually thought of it like that, but it also reminds me of what Gideon has offered to do.

"Oh, she's done better than that!" I say with more than a hint of sarcasm in my tone.

Cary looks questioningly at me.

"Everything she told me, kind of fried my mind and Gideon saw I was struggling and he asked me what was wrong, so I told him pretty much what I've just told you and as a result of hearing that he has now taken it upon himself to take financial responsibility of my grandmother's medical care," I say.

"You're kidding?" Cary says, his mouth dropping open and his eyes widening with shock.

"Nope," I say, "I woke up from a nap and they, Gideon and my mom, were there discussing it" I add, I can't keep the bitterness from my voice as I say this and Cary stares at me, clearly surprised by my reaction.

"So, that was a nice thing to do, right? I mean surely you can't be mad at Cross for offering to do something nice?" Cary asks in confusion.

I shake my head and sigh, "No, I'm not, I love him even more for doing it actually, as I know it came from a good place and I also know he did it primarily for me, it's just the knock-on effects it will have when my mom is free of that financial burden" I say.

"I don't follow?" Cary says

I lean forward again, "Cary, she became a career trophy wife," I say.

"Yeah, and? I don't see what you are getting at, you've always known that" Cary says.

"But the facts are a little more mercenary than that, she married rich men, men she didn't love purely to get money to pay for her mother's care," I pause and pop some food into my mouth.

"And?" Cary says again.

I swallow the food in my mouth and lean a little closer to Cary, "She gave up my dad and his love for money, I have always known that, but now I find out she did it out of practical need, not shallow greed, my dad was sitting there when she told me everything and then he pretty much admitted that the reason he hasn't moved on with his own life is because he is waiting for her mom to die so she can leave whoever she is with and finally go and be with him," I say.

I see the moment Cary joins the dots and realises what I have just said and its implications.

"Fucking hell! So what you are saying is, Cross takes over the care of her mom it's bye bye Stanton" Cary exclaims.

I nod, "Exactly" I say, "and I don't know about you but I don't feel good about that, Richard Stanton is a good man, he has looked after my mom and looked after her well for years and she said herself that he has been good to us, he has paid out to bury everything surrounding what Nathan did..."

"Which was a complete waste of time after you broadcast it to the world at the gala last night," Cary says, interrupting me, "that news has gone viral by the way," he adds.

I shrug, "Well I did that for a good cause, and he was fine with it, but that's another thing, he played mediator between mom and me when she had that meltdown over me going public, but think about it Cary, he _has_ done so much, he got us and paid for the apartment we lived in until recently, he financed our move to New York from San Diego, and don't forget the apartment _he_ paid for was also the place which my mom screwed my dad in, and I said at the time that made me feel icky, he's not my favourite person in the world, he never has been, and I have never made any secret of that fact, but on a human level he doesn't deserve to be dropped because mom's financial circumstances change, and if mom does just dump him when she no longer needs his money, well that is wrong on so many levels" I say.

Cary nods in agreement.

"There is also the fact he loves her, Cary, We've both seen evidence of that with our own eyes, he does really love her, and although I would like nothing more than my mom and dad to be together, I wouldn't want it at the expense of someone else's happiness, and that is what would happen, so once again I find myself feeling more loyalty towards Stanton than my own mom," I say.

"It's a tough one," Cary says eventually.

We finish our meal and I change the subject and also tell him about Corinne and her attempt to finish what she started last night.

"Jeez Eva is she totally crazy?!" he asks.

I shake my head, "that's the worst part, no she's not, I only finally figured that out today, she had planned it meticulously and she knew exactly what she was doing" I say grimly.

"Are you sure, wanting to kill someone is not a normal sane thing to do?" Cary says, I immediately think of how Gideon killed Nathan in cold blood for me and I nod my head firmly.

"I'm certain Cary, I get what you are saying, and I don't disagree with you, but as I said to Raul and Arash, if she was fruit loop crazy she would have gone on a rampage, shooting everyone who got in her way, she didn't she was controlled because her target was me, she was beside herself because she hit Gideon, as he wasn't her target, she planned it all" I say.

"So where is she now?" Cary asks.

I shrug, "I have no idea, the last we heard she was on the grounds with a gun, nobody has been to update us, unless someone came or called while I was asleep, but the fact Raul isn't breathing down my neck at this moment tells me she is safely locked away somewhere" I say.

"Talk of the devil," Cary says and nods his head towards the entrance, I turn to look and see Raul striding towards us.

"Hi, is everything ok?" I ask.

"Everything is fine, Mrs Cross, Mr Cross said you'd gone to get some food and he was concerned that you were alone," he says.

"Well, as you can see I'm not," I say gesturing to Cary and Raul smirks.

"I can, you should also know Mrs Giroux is in custody, and that is where she is staying, we had already advised Mr Cross of that while you were sleeping, and I've just been to update him, regarding that situation," he says.

"Thank god for that, and she definitely hasn't been sectioned has she? I want her to pay fully for what she did" I say.

"No, she is in custody, Arash Madani played a blinder, she is denying everything, and now she knows she has been declared fit and competent to stand trial and probably isn't going to get away with lesser charges with the 'it was a moment of insanity plea' she is trying desperately to get her father to pulls some strings like he did when he managed to get her bailed," he says.

"But she violated her bail conditions and tried to violate a restraining order so surely he...?" I say.

Raul holds up his hand, "Don't worry, she's not going anywhere, the authorities aren't receptive to granting any more favours, plus I think they are currently more scared of what Mr Cross is going to do, knowing they did allow her bail, and what she subsequently did after that, but having said that, her father was going to try until Arash presented him with the evidence, and then let's just say, I don't think Mrs Giroux will be able to count on her father's support," he says.

"He's disowned her?!" I gasp.

"He's distancing himself from her at present," Raul says diplomatically, "but how long that will last is anyone's guess, I mean, she is still his daughter and its clear he loves her dearly" he adds.

"So what happens now?" I ask, wondering if I have to look over my shoulder for the foreseeable future.

"She stays in jail until her trial comes up," Raul says simply.

I smile at that, "It couldn't happen to a nicer person," I say.

"There is one thing," Raul says.

"Oh?" I ask.

"Yes, her actions this afternoon, what she has done and what she did last night, the media have got hold of it and are running with it, there have been a few inaccurate reports rumours that you were the one shot, that you've miscarried, that you're dead, that you are badly injured along with rumours that Mr Cross is also dead, but it also means there is quite a large media contingent now camped outside," he says.

I close my eyes, "But they can't get in?" I ask.

Raul shakes his head, "No we are working with hospital security to make sure no-one gets in, and I believe Ben Clancy has called in a few favours from his security contacts to provide us with further security should it be needed, but as I have just said to Mr Cross, it might be an idea to release a statement, as the longer you go without saying anything, these rumours will get out of hand and they will start to make up their own stories about what happened and more desperate to try and get access," Raul says.

I nod and stand, "I need to get back to Gideon to work out what we are going to do about this," I say.

Cary nods and comes with me.

When I return to Gideon's room I see Ben Clancy stationed outside which once again forcibly reminds me of my mother and that situation.

"Hi, Clancy!" I say brightly and he just nods at me.

"Mrs Cross" he says in his deep rumbling voice.

I pause with my hand on the door, "You know that you don't have to do this," I say, before I go in.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are more than a job," he says and he returns his attention to his phone, effectively dismissing me. I am a little taken aback by the abrupt almost harsh tone he used as that wasn't like him, but I dismiss it figuring that he has other things on his mind and head inside.

"Angel" Gideon says.

He smiles widely and is clearly happy and relieved to see me, as I walk inside then he glances at Cary and nods.

"Hello Cary" he adds.

Cary greets him and then sits himself down in the seat, I notice that my mother has now gone.

"Mom's gone?" I question and Gideon nods.

"She has, she said to tell you goodbye and that she loves you," Gideon says.

I nod in acknowledgement to that and I see the guarded look Gideon is giving me, so I decide to change the subject as I don't want to bring up his decision to take over my grandmothers care right now.

"Raul seems to think we should release some sort of statement to the press who are gathered outside," I say.

"Yes, it was inevitable that the news of the shooting would get out at some point," Gideon says with a resigned sigh.

"I'll go out there and speak to them," I say.

"You don't have to do that, I can get Des to release an official statement" Gideon offers.

I shake my head, "No, that won't pacify them, that will be viewed as just fobbing them off and will make them more determined, and it will just fuel the rumour mill, if I go out there it nails any inaccurate stories that I have been injured or killed, and they are more likely to accept and believe what I say about you than someone from your PR department."

"Alright," Gideon says, he glances at Cary, "there are other things we need to discuss later as well," he says.

I sigh, I really didn't want to get into this right now, "If you are talking about mom and what you have said you are going to do, don't worry, Cary knows," I say.

"Oh I see," Gideon says, he shifts slightly in the bed and grimaces as the movement obviously hurts.

I am immediately on my feet helping him, "Be careful, you don't want to cause any more damage," I say, thankful of the distraction.

Cary looks at us and then leans forward, "you need to talk to him baby girl, you need to tell him, and you need to make him aware of what could happen."

I glare at Cary and he shrugs, "Just saying!" he says.

Gideon watches the exchange and I reach for his hand, "You thought you were doing a good thing, a nice thing, and I love you for that and thank you from the bottom of my heart, but it's complicated and could have long-reaching effects," I say.

Gideon looks confused, "I thought you'd be happy, I thought it would help," he says.

I smile at him, "I know you did and I love you so much for thinking that way and I am really grateful that you did, but there are more things to consider," I say.

"Like what?" he asks.

"Like Richard Stanton," I say.

"Stanton?" Gideon asks and he frowns in confusion.

I smile at his completely bemused look and I squeeze his hand, it was so simple to him he was releasing my mother from the financial responsibility and that would make her happy so it would also make me happy, but he has no idea of what the potential repercussions would be, as he has such limited relationship experience.

"Mom has spent her life being a career trophy wife, she married men she didn't love purely for the financial stability to fund her mother's care" I pause and watch him take that in.

Gideon nods, "I get that," he says.

"My mother loves my father with all her heart, and he loves her and he has never moved on, he was there when she told me everything and I asked him if he was waiting for her."

I wait but Gideon still looks confused, "he is waiting for her mother to die so my mother can go to him when she no longer has that financial burden, I believe that it was their plan that when she did die my mother would leave whoever she was with and go to be with my father," I say carefully, watching Gideon's reaction to that.

He joins the dots quickly, and I see the moment he realises what could, and probably will now happen.

"Ohhh" he says, now understanding completely,

"Yes, you get it now, if you take away that burden she will have no reason to stay with Stanton, and that really doesn't sit well with me, he has been good to her, and to me, he paid out to bury everything after Nathan, he paid for the apartment Cary and I lived in and our relocation to New York, and he truly loves her Gideon, that much is obvious, but my mom clearly doesn't feel the same way, that much is also obvious by the fact she screwed my dad in my apartment, so I believe she won't think twice about going if she has no reason to stay, and if she does just up and leaves him, it feels wrong, and I don't feel good about it" I say.

Gideon nods, "and you will feel responsible as it is me who has given her the ability to do that," he says.

I nod, "I will," I say, Gideon squeezes my hand and tugs to pull me closer.

"I'm sorry, I had no idea," he says quietly.

"It's not your fault dude, you just thought you were doing a nice thing for your wife, and scoring a few brownie points with the in-laws," Cary says flippantly.

**oooOOOooo**

Just over an hour later and I am standing outside flanked by Cary, Chris Vidal, Raul and Clancy. I am facing a rabid press pack, who went into a frenzy as soon as they laid eyes on me.

I stand and wait as the flashbulbs blind me and they hurl question after question at me. I just fold my arms and wait and after a moment or two, it seems to dawn on them that until they shut the hell up I ain't talking and they calm down and silence falls over them.

"Thank you," I say as they all wait looking at me expectantly.

"This is a short statement and I won't be taking any questions. Last night my husband Gideon Cross was shot and wounded outside our apartment as we returned home from the charity gala we were attending. My husband sustained a serious gunshot injury which required surgery, but he is now in a stable condition and progressing well, the assailant was immediately arrested, but later released on bail," this provokes a large amount of murmuring as everyone knows that shouldn't happen and I pause waiting for quiet once more.

When they do fall silent I continue, "Our attorney immediately organised restraining orders for our protection and safety. This afternoon the assailant broke her bail conditions after she attempted to gain access to us here at the hospital, and once again she was armed. She has now been detained and is awaiting trial for attempted murder," I stop as the questions start to be thrown at me.

"Mrs Cross can you confirm that the assailant was Mrs Corinne Giroux?" someone shouts.

"Is Mr Cross in Intensive Care?"

"Is it true you were the target?"

I pause and they all quieten once more, "My husband is progressing well and is no longer in the ICU, I hope that press respect our privacy at this time and gives my husband the space to make a full recovery, thank you, that is all" I say, and with that I turn and walk back inside to another barrage of questions.

I return to Gideon's room and I find Chris, Ireland and Christopher and Elizabeth sitting with Gideon and my heart leaps at the sight in front of me, this is what he has always wanted, to be surrounded by family who loves him.

Christopher immediately stands and offers me his seat.

"Hi, Eva," he says as he gestures to the seat.

"Hi," I say and take the seat, "Thank you," I say and reach over and grab Gideon's hand.

He looks overwhelmed at having everyone here, but he responds and keeping his eyes, which are filled with love, fixed on me he lifts my hand to his mouth and kisses it softly, a simple gesture but one which I know instinctively signifies so much more, he is wordlessly thanking me for my part, which made it possible.

**oooOOOooo**

Gideon spends just over a week in the hospital, and by the end of that time, he is irritable in the extreme, as he is practically climbing the walls as he wants to go home. He has been carefully monitored and he has a number of pamphlets detailing possible repercussions from not having a spleen now. I think the fact he has gone so long without sex probably isn't helping either, I should know I'm also feeling the effects of this enforced dry spell.

I have spent the week flitting between the hospital and the Crossfire, Gideon has confidently delegated the majority of the ongoing projects to his team, and Arash has been overseeing things, I have been playing intermediary and also trying to ensure my husband didn't overdo it.

"You do know you are still recovering, you have been told you have to take it easy for a while," I say as I help Gideon gather his belongings together. He has been told he can go home today and he is now more than eager to leave.

"I know Angel, I just need to get out of here," he says as he carefully pulls on a t-shirt.

I know he still feels some discomfort and despite his astonishing progress he will be recovering for a while and he will have to keep coming back for regular checkups for a while to ensure everything is as it should be. We have been warned that now he no longer has a spleen he will be more susceptible to infections and we should be aware of that. But as far as I am concerned those are minor inconveniences as it could have been much, much worse.

"Ok, are we ready to go?" I ask.

Gideon has just signed the discharge papers and a porter has arrived with a wheelchair which he is now looking derisively at.

"Don't argue, just get in it," I say pointing, I see Gideon's mouth twitch with amusement at my stern tone and he obediently climbs into the chair.

He points towards the door, "Ok then Angel, let's go" he says.

As we reach the exit he climbs out, and I don't argue with that decision, there is no way on earth I would face the gathered press in a wheelchair. We wait inside until we see Angus pull up to the kerb with the Bentley and as we step out the media go berserk, constant flashes and the cacophony of questions being hurled at us is overwhelming, I ignore them completely and try and usher my husband into the car, but he pauses and looks across at the press who immediately quieten.

"As you can see I am alive and well, and I would just like to take this opportunity to publicly thank the medical staff for their excellent care," with that he lowers himself carefully into the Bentley and I climb in after him.

Angus looks around at us, and watches Gideon closely, "are you alright lad?" he asks anxiously.

I see him nod, "I'm fine Angus, honestly, now let's go home".

**oooOOOooo**

_Three weeks later..._

**(GIDEON)**

I sit back and stretch, I wince slightly as there is still some lingering tenderness around the area where the bullet went in, but as far as I am concerned I am now fully healed. Since I got out of hospital we have tried to get back to some semblance of normality.

I scrub my hands over my face and reach for my mug, I've been back at work nearly a week and whilst I'm glad to be back as I was going crazy at home I still tire easily, I was warned this would be the case and I was told to listen to my body and not overdo it.

Eva and I have had some pretty thorough and probing therapy sessions after I was released from hospital, and although I found them uncomfortable and also slightly invasive at the time I now see how useful it was, we have talked through and dissected everything to do with the shooting and with Corinne and as far as I am concerned it has been dealt with, and that is a nice feeling for me.

We also discussed the issues Eva had with my offer to Monica, and I think Dr Petersen had made her see that if her mother does decide to leave Stanton, that is her decision and not something which Eva should apportion blame onto herself for.

I had no idea my offer to assume financial responsibility for Monica's mother would be so complicated. I just naively thought I was doing something which would make my wife happy, but I failed to see the hidden complexities, I have to acknowledge that I am still a novice when it comes to relationships and matters regarding them, and I had failed to foresee the possible fallout from my offer, but to fair, I hadn't even considered what Eva explained to me to be a remote possibility. It has been a steep learning curve but one which I am willing to take.

But it did leave me in somewhat of an awkward situation, I couldn't withdraw my offer of financial support and I certainly couldn't forbid Monica not to leave Stanton or attach conditions to the money as that would be wrong, all I could do was go with my initial plan which I have now done and hope that she does the right thing.

If she chooses not to, I will be there to support my wife. We will be going to meet Eva's grandmother soon, and I do wonder why Eva hasn't met her sooner considering she was as much a victim as Monica was at the hands of Gordon Tramell.

My relationship with my own mother has improved dramatically, in fact I would go as far as saying we are the closest we have ever been, she told me what Eva had said to her over the phone and she wasn't angry, she accepted that what she had told her was correct, she has also attended a therapy session with me with Dr Petersen, Chris had told her he had been to some and Christopher told her he had too and that it had helped, so she had asked me if it would be possible for her to do so, I had agreed and I think it was a positive experience for both of us, as I had made her realise just how alienated and rejected I felt throughout my childhood, something she was totally oblivious of and I learnt just how much she had struggled in the aftermath of my father's death, something I was unaware of.

I was astounded at Christopher and Ireland's reaction to the shooting, Ireland was in bits, she told me she was terrified that I was going to die and that thought had nearly destroyed her, when I had asked her why, she had told me it was because she had said she had just got her brother back and he was being taken from her again, something which she told me she couldn't handle.

I was speechless I had no idea she felt that way about me. Christopher wasn't so candid, but the fact when he first laid eyes on me that first time after the shooting he had pulled me into a nearly bone-crushing hug which told me he was relieved that I hadn't died.

I am pulled from my thoughts by my office door opening, I look up and see my wife approach and as usual the sight of her makes me hard, I adjust myself and stand and make my way towards her.

"Angel," I say as I reach for her.

She holds up her hand, a sign I have come to recognise that she is here on a business-related matter, not to play and my eyes fall to a flash drive she is clutching.

"The marketing campaigns for the Casino and the Leisure Park, Mark needs your final yes or no," she says offering the drive to me.

I nod and take it from her, we have established a clear set of ground rules Eva had listed them as a deal breaking condition of her agreement to come and work here so that we can have a successful business relationship and not let any work-related issues fall over into our personal lives. One of those conditions was no hanky-panky in the office during office hours. Whereas previously she was happy and eager to play during working hours, now that she works here with me, she said that would be inappropriate, and I have to agree, albeit reluctantly agree, as I do miss our occasional office based sexual activities.

"You'll join me for lunch" I demand, as my mind wanders once more into the gutter, and my dick cries out for attention from my wife and she grins at me.

"Yes sir" she retorts, and that makes me even harder and abandoning the rules I take a predatory step towards her.

"No! Don't even go there," she says warningly as she takes a step back, "I have a meeting with the Kingsman team in five minutes," she adds.

I stop and reign myself in taking a firm grip on my self-control, "Lunch, midday" I say adamantly.

Eva just grins at me and then turns and leaves, as she turns sideways my breath catches, she is wearing a tight pencil skirt and the smallest evidence of our baby is starting to be seen, in the past week or so she has been complaining that nothing fits her properly anymore and she has bought a number of skirts in the next size to accommodate her expanding waistline, but the sight of the slight bump which has suddenly appeared in the last few days fills me with wonder, awe and overwhelming love, and also reminds me that we have our next appointment coming up soon, where hopefully we will find out if baby Cross is a boy or a girl.

As the door closes behind my wife I reluctantly push these thoughts from my mind and return to my desk and plug in the flash drive, I have no concerns that the campaigns will be anything other than first class, all my instincts about Mark Garrity were correct and he and Eva do make an exceptionally good team, I have had nothing but positive feedback about them and their work since they joined the team. My intercom buzzes unexpectedly and I glance at my watch. I don't have an appointment for 15 minutes, and my next appointment is an online video conference.

"Yes Scott," I say as I answer.

"Mr Cross, front desk security has called up, there is a Mr James Hammond down in the lobby asking to see you."

I lean back, James Hammond, what the hell does Corinne's father want?

"Tell them to send him up," I say, "and Scott, find Mrs Cross and ask her to join me, I believe she is meeting with the Kingsman team," I say.

"Yes sir," he says and hangs up.

A few moments later my door opens and Eva comes in looking worried and a little harassed.

"What's up? Scott just called me and said you needed to see me, I have Mark and the Kingsman guys in conference room 3 waiting for me" she says and the irritation evident in her tone.

"Corinne's father is here asking to see me, and he is on his way up now" I say and that irritation vanishes, I watch her think carefully.

"Give me a moment," she says and vanishes, a few moments later she is back, "Ok Mark's handling it on his own," she says.

My intercom buzzes again, "Mr Hammond has arrived in reception," Scott tells me.

"Ok thank you, Scott, if you could escort him here," I say.

"No problem sir" Scott replies and then he is gone.

Eva comes to me and strokes my arm, the now familiar gesture she always does in an attempt to calm and reassure me and one which I have learnt to respond to accordingly.

All too soon my office door opens and Scott shows James Hammond in, he is a tall distinguished man, with grey hair and an equally grey moustache and beard. He looks nothing like Corinne who resembles her mother.

His eyes are sharp and intelligent as they fall on Eva, and she straightens and steps forward, deliberately stepping in front of me, I inwardly smile, she is on alert, always protecting me, she has gone into tigress mode I can see what she is doing, and just like a tiger she is waiting and watching, her claws sheathed at the moment, but if Hammond makes one false move she will maul him.

"Hello you must be James Hammond, I am Eva Cross, Gideon's wife," Eva says as she holds out her hand confidently.

I see the surprise on his face and he falters a moment before accepting the handshake, then he turns his attention to me, I can tell he is shocked, he is old school and also a bit of a misogynist where wives are concerned, he expected Eva to wait for me to introduce her not to push herself forward and introduce herself, but that is one of the many things I love about my wife she never does what people expect her to do.

"What can I do for you, James?" I ask neutrally, "I'm afraid I don't have a lot of time" I add.

"I came to see what we could do to make this business with Corinne disappear, I'm sure we can come to some arrangement," Hammond says.

I stiffen and Eva feels it as she still has her hand on my arm, and I feel her grip tighten at his words and I know from that small reaction that her quick hot Latin temper is getting ready to flare.

"Come and sit down," I say and gesture to one of the seating areas, he smiles and walks over sitting himself down, Eva and I take the sofa opposite him.

"So what exactly are you hoping is going to go away?" Eva asks mildly.

I see James Hammond look slightly taken aback once more, that it was Eva who asked the question, but he quickly recovers.

"Well, I was hoping you'd consider dropping the charges against my daughter," he says, looking at me and not Eva which irritates me considerably.

I watch as Eva laughs, and this immediately pulls his attention back to her.

"I'm sorry I thought for one moment you just said that you want us to drop the charges," Eva says her eyes fixed on him in an icy glare.

I watch as Hammond swallows deeply, I wait as I watch my wife, I know the blast is coming and I see the moment it happens.

"Because if that is what you said, then you are out of your fucking tiny mind," Eva says viciously.

I watch Hammond stiffen and I know he is angry, he isn't used to people saying no to him.

"Eva," I say warningly as I note his reaction.

Her head whips around and she glares at me, and she holds up her hand which makes me swallow what I was going to say next, ok then, he may be angry but he's clearly not as angry as my wife is. I watch her and seeing her so angry and knowing that anger is rooted in her love for me and her need to fight for me, gives me a thrill like no other and it arouses me intensely.

"No Gideon, just don't, I watched that bitch shoot you, I watched you fall at my feet, blood pouring from you and I heard her say that it was me she meant to kill, I sat in that hospital while you were in surgery fighting for your life not knowing if you were going to make it."

She turns to Hammond who has gone very pale at that outburst, and I can't argue with a word she has just said, there is no way on earth I am going to drop the charges so I sit back and keep my mouth shut and let Eva handle this.

"Explain to me why we should even consider dropping the charges, come on tell me? I'll humour you," she says coldly.

"I... I... " He stammers.

She turns towards me, "Gideon, I don't have my phone on me, can I borrow yours?" she says.

I nod and I reach into my pocket and hand it to her and she takes it from me and presses a speed dial, I watch her with pride and mild amusement, there is no stopping her now and quite frankly I don't want to, she puts my phone to her ear.

"Hi Angus its Eva, I'm in Gideon's office can you bring the footage up from Corinne's visit to the penthouse – that Sunday after Gideon announced we were married?... brilliant... thanks Angus... bye."

"Corinne is very remorseful about what she did," Hammond says breaking the awkward silence which has descended upon us while we wait for Angus.

Eva snorts, "Bullshit" she replies, "she's just trying to save her own skin."

My office door opens and Angus appears with the flash drive in his hand, he glares at Hammond as he hands it to Eva.

"There you go Mrs Cross," he says politely, "do you need anything else?" he asks.

Eva thinks for a moment, and then shakes her head, "No thank you Angus" she replies and gives him a bright smile, he gives her a small salute and then turns and leaves, glancing at me and giving me an amused smile as he does so.

Eva looks at me, "Where's your laptop?" she asks and I go to my drawer and pull it out and hand it wordlessly to her, she sets it up and turns it towards Hammond.

"Right watch this," she says and starts the footage.

I watch as Hammond watches the footage stony-faced, he glares at me as he watches my verbal evisceration of Corinne, but that turns to disgust as he sees her blatant attempts at emotional blackmail.

Eva stops the footage and looks directly at Hammond.

"You will regret this Gideon, I might be so upset that I won't ever forgive you for this, I might be so upset that I might do something else, something more permanent this time, I don't know about you but that sounded like a threat to me, at first I thought she was just emotionally blackmailing Gideon I thought she meant she would hurt herself again, but in light of recent events I feel it was a much darker threat," she raises her eyebrows and looks at him questioningly.

"I don't think..." he begins.

Eva sighs, "Do you need to watch it again? There isn't one bit of that altercation which puts Corinne in a good light. There was the denial of the truth of us being married, the blatant attempt at emotional blackmail, threats, and surely you saw from her reaction when Gideon confronted her she wasn't in the least bit remorseful or upset that her little suicide stunt cost the life of an innocent child, in fact, Gideon and I are more than convinced from the reaction she gave that she knew she was pregnant and didn't care."

"She did" Hammond says quietly.

"What did you say?" I ask, speaking for the first time.

He looks sadly at me, "She admitted it to her mother, she knew she was pregnant, but she said it was a moment of insanity that she now regrets," he says.

Eva snorts, "A moment of insanity, like the night she pulled a gun on us and shot my husband?" she says, "And when she returned the next day to the hospital to finish the job?"

"Well, yes," he says, slightly confused.

Eva shakes her head and sighs, "It seems I am going to have to educate you Mr Hammond, insanity - the definition of insanity", she pulls my laptop towards her and Google's the word insanity and spins it around to face Hammond, and reads directly from the screen, "there you go, definition of insanity is, '_mental illness of such a severe _nature_ that a person cannot distinguish fantasy from reality, cannot conduct her/his affairs due to _psychosis_, __or is subject to uncontrollable _impulsive_ behaviour'. Would you agree with that?" she says._

_Hammond nods, and Eva smiles, "well then let's examine what Corinne did, I'll give you the fact she can't distinguish fantasy from reality, I mean she is convinced that Gideon belongs with her even though he is married to me, so you can have that one," Eva says sarcastically._

_"But cannot conduct her/his affairs due to psychosis, no I don't think so, I mean anyone who is able to negotiate a book deal has to be pretty together and sound of mind, but here's the real kicker Mr Hammond, uncontrollable _impulsive_ behaviour."_

_"She shot Gideon, I would say that was impulsive!" Hammond retorts gesturing at me as he gets more and more agitated and angry at the way Eva is talking to him._

_Eva smiles pityingly at him, and once more she grabs my phone which she had left on the table, I watch as she makes another call. _

_"Arash... no it's Eva, hi, can you come up to Gideon's office and bring the paperwork you have on the gun licence Corinne Giroux acquired... thanks," she says and hangs up. Then as we wait for Arash she returns her attention back to James._

_"I have also had other suspicions about the overdose in light of her recent behaviour" Eva says, I pick up my ears at this, as this something she hasn't shared with me._

_I see James shuffle awkwardly in his seat but Eva continues regardless, "I believe she _engineered the overdose, she had made sure she took enough to make her ill but not to kill her and she also made sure that she would be found in time," Eva says, I stare open mouthed at her but when I see James's reaction I realise Eva is right.

"She told her mother she had realised it was wrong as soon as she had started taking the pills and so she called for help and didn't take any more" he says.

Eva nods, "so with your own admission there you could argue that she was in full control of herself, so, not a moment of insanity at all, just a manipulative attempt to get Gideon's attention," she says bitterly.

James considers that but says nothing and an awkward silence descends over us. I am shocked at Eva's astuteness, and I realise I really did have a blind spot where Corinne was concerned.

_A few moments later Arash appears with a folder in his hand and hands it to Eva, he frowns as he sees Hammond._

_"Thanks, Arash and you might want to stay," Eva adds._

_Arash looks at me and I nod, and he sits down and watches Eva with interest._

_"Ok then, let's see what we have here, well now would you look at that… gun licence applied for, all checks completed, oh look here no history of mental illness a little strange considering this was dated after the suicide attempt, but we'll let that go and look what we have here, when the application was made, just happened to be the day of Gideon's interview and the time the application was filled in at 11:35 am, so that is straight after the interview, I guess she is a fan of Daybreak! Also, I might add, dated __after__ Corinne had publicly threatened him that she wouldn't forgive him and she might do something, I would suggest that is pretty compelling evidence of preparation, planning and forethought, wouldn't you? Also, the fact she was able to apply for a gun licence and fudge the details of a recent suicide attempt which we have now established wasn't a suicide attempt at all, says to me she was more than capable of conducting her affairs." _

_Hammond looks a little sick now, "but" he says feebly._

_Eva holds up her hand, "but you know what clinched it for me, what really makes me realise she knew exactly what she was doing and had planned it?"_

_Hammond shakes his head._

_"There were two things, the first was her words as Gideon fell to the ground, she said and I quote, 'I _didn't mean to hit him, I love him, I meant to hit her' – 'I meant to hit her' - pretty conclusive eh? But I know what you are going to say to that, impulsive behaviour, and you could be right, but I would say that the paper trail that leads back to the day of the interview weeks ago rules out impulsive pretty comprehensively, but what about the uncontrollable part?" Eva pauses and smiles triumphantly.

"Remember the definition I told you earlier uncontrollable impulsive behaviour, now if Corinne was truly insane it wouldn't have been just Gideon she shot that night, she would have shot at anyone who got in her way, and the same when she showed up at the hospital, the very fact she didn't, says she was in total control, she knew exactly what she was doing, along with the fact you have just confirmed for me other instances where she tried to be a blackmailing manipulative bitch, and so having said all that Mr Hammond, we are not dropping the fucking charges!"

As Arash hears Eva's final words his eyes widen and he stares at Eva and then Hammond, "Is this for real, you came here asking for the charges to be dropped?" he asks.

Eva nods, "he came here asking us to make this go away," she says.

Arash stands, "I think you had better leave right now Mr Hammond, because this could look very bad for you when the trial starts, it _could_ look like harassment," he says.

Eva catches on immediately, "it could also be argued he wanted to bribe us," she says mildly.

Arash looks at Eva "What makes you say that?" he asks.

Eva shrugs "What Mr Hammond said when he first arrived his exact words were and I quote 'I came to see what we could do to make this business with Corinne disappear, I'm sure we can come to some arrangement' that could be construed as a bribe don't you think?" she says innocently.

Arash nods, "It could, yes" he agrees.

"That was not my intention," Hammond says, but he is looking afraid now.

"Mr Hammond I am officially advising you that you should leave now and if you come back to these offices again I will be forced to serve you with a restraining order," Arash says.

We watch silently as Hammond stands and leaves.


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

"Ok, I'm going now, if you need me I'll be in the Kingsman meeting, I'll make some bullshit up to Mark about what you wanted, but make sure you look at that flash drive with those campaigns" Eva says as she drops my phone into my hand and then pressing a swift kiss to my lips she turns to leave.

"Bye Arash," she says and then she is gone. I am left feeling uncomfortable and once again I try and discreetly adjust myself.

I watch Arash as he watches her go, he turns to me a huge smile on his face, "She is fucking amazing" he says.

"I know," I say, "why do you think I married her, you missed the best bit, what you witnessed wasn't the half of it," I say.

Arash sighs, "You do know you should have called me as soon as he arrived, he shouldn't even have had the opportunity to get in here," he says seriously.

I grin, "And miss Eva rip him a new one, I don't think so, plus he knows without a doubt now we are not to be messed with," I say.

Arash nods, "Ok I'll give you that, but if he shows up again, you tell me immediately," he says as he picks up the file and leaves the office.

I settle down and return to my work I glance at my watch noting that it's time for my video conference.

As midday comes round, my office door opens and I look up to see Eva standing there with her purse and jacket.

"Ready?" she asks and I immediately quickly finish what I am doing and grab my jacket from the stand pulling it on, and placing my hand on her lower back, I shepherd her out of the office and to the elevator.

"Where are we going for lunch today?" I ask, secretly hoping its somewhere close by so that maybe we will have time for a little fun either on the way there or the way back, as I'm still in a semi-hard state after her performance this morning.

She shrugs, "I don't mind," she says.

We make our way out and Angus is waiting for us at the kerb, "Tableau One?" I ask and Eva nods.

"Fine" she replies and I nod at Angus as he goes to close the door behind me.

"Is everything alright Angel?" I ask once we are inside the Bentley, my wife is tense and distant and I don't like it.

Eva looks at me and smiles, "Yes, I'm sorry, I'm still seething at the cheek of that man, I mean I know she is his daughter and you stand by your kids whatever they do, but when someone does something that bad, you don't try and get them off, and I thought he had distanced himself from her anyway, Raul told me he had?" Eva says.

I grip her hand, "I know, he is just looking out for his daughter, you can't fault him for that, but I think you have made him realise how misplaced that notion was, but to be fair I think his request had more to do with his embarrassment at what Corinne had done rather than support for his daughter" I say.

"Oh I see, so he wants it to go away because of how what she did reflects on him," Eva says, I nod and Eva shakes her head. "In some ways that's even worse," she says.

I lean towards her and nuzzle against her neck she immediately responds and I move closer, "but forget him concentrate on what I'm doing right now" I murmur in her ear.

Eva moans, she moves closer to me and runs her fingers through my hair, I love it when she does that, I wrap my hand possessively around her nape and find her mouth with mine when she suddenly pulls away, at first I try and stop her but then I hear her phone buzzing, she rummages in her purse to retrieve it, I watch and see her surprise as she sees who it is and then she answers.

"Hello," she says as she tries to compose herself.

I watch as all colour drains from her face and she closes her eyes, and as I see it, all thoughts I was entertaining of getting laid also vanish, but her obvious distress at whatever she has heard fills me with a sense of dread.

"Eva," I say and I immediately respond to her as she reaches out blindly for me, I grasp her searching hand and hold it tightly, concern piercing me at her distressed reaction.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, no, no I haven't heard from her or seen her" she says and she shakes her head, I can't stand this, I need to know what's happening here, whatever it is, it is upsetting my wife and if there is one thing I hate more than anything else and that is to see Eva upset.

"Eva," I say again and I point to her phone indicating she gives it to me.

She shakes her head, "Look I have to go, I am shocked Richard, and so, so sorry, yes, of course, I'll let you know if I hear anything" she says.

Richard? She is talking to Stanton and I know immediately what has happened. I watch as Eva hangs up and looks at me.

"That was Richard, mom has confessed to sleeping with my dad and has asked him for a divorce, she has taken full responsibility and she has just gone, she has left him and moved out, he doesn't know where she is, he called me to ask me if I had seen her," she says.

She shakes her head and then I see anger.

"God damn it, why did she do this?!" she says, and I watch as her hand fists and she punches her other palm.

I don't hesitate I pull her close and hold her, Angus is watching us and I meet his gaze, "Take us to the penthouse," I say and he nods altering his route immediately.

When we arrive at the penthouse Eva calls her father, I watch as the initial shock and upset has now worn off and in its place is a severely pissed off Eva.

"Dad are you on duty?" she asks by way of greeting when Victor answers

I grab a notepad and pen and write down a message and show it to her.

_**Put the call on speaker**_

Eva nods and presses a button on her phone and places it on the table between us, and Victor's voice comes through mid response.

"...on my break at the moment, what's wrong sweetheart?" he asks.

"Mom has left Richard, she has confessed to sleeping with you, asked him for a divorce and now she has vanished," Eva says.

"Oh Jeez, I told her not to do anything rash," Victor says, I am surprised he sounds exasperated at what he has just heard, and I focus on Eva who is now speaking.

"Whereas I knew from the moment Gideon said he take responsibility for my grandmothers medical care that she would probably do this," Eva says bitterly, "have you any idea how that makes me feel?" she adds.

"Calm down Eva, I told her not to do anything rash, as soon as she told me what Gideon had done because she was dead set on leaving Stanton, but I told her not to, I told her to wait," Victor says.

"You did?" Eva says hopefully.

"Yes I did," Victor says firmly, there is a pause and I hear the sound of his police radio in the background, "Listen I have to go now, but I'll call you if she contacts me" he says a moment later.

"Alright, I love you, dad, stay safe," Eva says.

"Always" he replies and the line goes dead.

Eva looks up at me, "Where is she?" she asks, I step towards her and pull her into my arms.

"We'll find her," I say as I press a kiss to her head.

That promise doesn't turn out to be necessary as a few moments later Eva's phone buzzes again she looks and leaps into action.

"It's mom!" she exclaims and once again putting the call on speaker she answers.

"Where the hell are you?" she snaps.

"Eva, don't speak to me like that" Monica says in a shocked tone.

I watch Eva as she tries to contain her rising anger.

"Don't you dare mom, you have no idea of the trouble you have caused, I have had Stanton on the phone in bits because you have asked him for a divorce – what possessed you to confess to him what you did with dad? What's this about mom, is this a case of that now Gideon is paying for your mom's medical care you don't have to be a gold digger anymore so you are just cold-heartedly ditching another husband?!" I stare at my wife in shock, yes she is upset, but that was cruel.

"Eva, that's not fair," Monica says and I hear her sob.

"Eva," I say carefully.

I watch as Eva sags, "Look I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean that, of course I didn't, but if I am going to be honest with you I expected something like this to happen, when I found out what Gideon did but not quite as quickly as it has done," she says.

"Your father and I got together again when he came to New York to support you at the gala and Clancy caught us," my mom says in a small voice and I watch as Eva's mouth drops open at this revelation.

"We didn't want to say anything in light of everything that happened with Gideon, and Clancy assured me he wouldn't say anything, that is why your father left and went back to San Diego as quickly as he did, but we love each other Eva, we always have, and yes now that Gideon has kindly offered to help with my mother's care I finally feel that at long last I can be with the man I have loved all my life, I know that sounds selfish but I have put my feelings and my love for your father to one side all my life, now I finally felt I could be happy with the man who I gave my heart to when I was 19 years old."

Eva is crying again, and I reach for her once more, she rests her head against me and closes her eyes briefly.

"Mom I get love, and I get how crazy it makes you, I am that irrationally in love person, I love Gideon with every fibre of my being, and you seem to forget that just for a short while I had to live with the fear I would be separated from him, when he got shot and there was that point where I wasn't totally sure if he was going to survive so I understand true love I really do, I can't deal with the idea of being separated from Gideon, I panic a little just thinking about it, I am totally irrational when it comes to him, he is everything to me."

My arms tighten around her as I listen to her words, because I know and understand exactly what she is saying as that is how I feel about her.

There is a silence, then Monica speaks again, "that is how I feel and have always felt about your father, I lose my breath every time I see him, if I can close my eyes I can see his face and hear his voice, I have wanted to cry every single day since the day I was forced to leave him because I wanted to be with him but couldn't, so forgive me if I want to be a little selfish now that it is possible for me to actually be with him," she says.

I see Eva's astounded expression, "Mom, I don't blame you, it's just... Richard loves you, and you said yourself after the first time you slept with my dad that he has been good to us, I can't help how I feel about this mom, because he _has_ been good to us and because of that I feel a certain sense of loyalty towards him, I get that you want to be with dad now that you can be, and ok be with dad and be happy, but don't kick Richard in the teeth in the process, because that is how it looks, it seems like he has fulfilled his purpose and you are moving on and that's not nice mom."

There is another silence, "but this isn't your concern Eva" she says, and I watch the incredulous expression fill my wife's face at that.

"The hell it isn't!" Eva splutters angrily, "Richard called me in bits, and he was asking where you were, and that's another thing, where the hell are you? My husband doing a nice thing for you is the reason this whole situation is happening, it is my concern because I am involved whether you like that or not and I can't help how I feel, I can't help but think you are being very unfair," Eva says.

"I'm in a hotel at La Guardia, waiting for a flight to San Diego," she says in a small voice.

Eva rolls her eyes and throws her hands up in the air at that, "Well that says it all mom, I called dad and he said he had told you not to do anything rash, and what you are doing is the definition of rash," Eva says.

I am really tempted to take the phone and demand that she return and threaten to cut off the help if she doesn't, but I can't do that, so unable to see how I can say or do anything helpful I just hold on tightly to Eva and keep my mouth shut.

Eva sighs, "Look I'm just too upset at the moment and I don't want to speak to you anymore while I am this angry because I am likely to say something I will regret, so I am going to hang up now, goodbye mom."

Eva kills the call before her mother can respond and buries her head in my chest.

A moment later her phone buzzes again, and I hear her groan, I glance at the screen to see Stanton's name on it I reach for the phone and quickly answer for her so she doesn't have to deal with him again.

"Eva's phone," I say calmly and I see Eva look up at me gratefully.

"Oh... is that you Gideon?" Richard Stanton's voice comes to me, he is clearly still upset.

"Yes, it is," I say.

"Is Eva alright?" he asks.

I sigh, "She has had better days," I say.

I hear him take a deep breath, "Look, I didn't mean to upset her earlier, and I'm sorry that she is stuck in the middle of this, but some more information has come to light, which I think she should be made aware of" he says.

I nudge Eva and hand her the phone putting it on speaker so I can hear what Stanton says to her.

"Hello Richard, mom has just called me," Eva says.

"Oh, I see, well I'm sorry about this but I have something to tell you, Clancy has just informed me that he caught your mother in a compromising situation when your father was in New York for the gala," I can hear the pain his voice as he says this.

"I know," Eva says, "she's just confessed that to me, and I want you to know that I told her I wasn't happy with her for what she has done, I'm sorry she has treated you so shabbily Richard, especially after everything you have done for us."

"Thank you that's very kind of you, Eva I just wanted you to know that now I have this new information I won't be fighting for her, and I'm starting divorce proceedings as it appears that is twice she has cheated on me with your father, so she can go to him and I won't stop her and I hope she will be happy," he says.

I detect the hint of bitterness in his tone and so I step in at this point.

"And you do not hold my wife in any way responsible for her mother's actions?" I ask.

I hear a gasp which fills me with confidence that he hadn't even considered that and what he says next seems to confirm that fact.

"No of course not, I don't blame you Eva and I never could do, I hope that even though your mother and I are no longer together now, we can remain friends, and I will continue to support your charitable concern as I originally pledged and if you need anything, anything at all don't hesitate to call me," he says.

I see Eva wince "thank you, Richard, you are a good man," she says.

After she hangs up she throws her phone down and wraps her arms tightly around me.

"Tell me what you need me to do," I say as I hold her in my arms, I am worried, this has obviously upset her and I'm afraid that the stress won't be good for her or the baby.

"Just continue doing what you are doing," she says her voice slightly muffled as she is still buried in my chest.

I press a kiss to her head and just hold her, "I liked what you said," I say after a moment.

She looks up at me, "which bit?" she says.

"When you told your mother how you felt about me… say it again," I say, feeling slightly embarrassed at how pathetic and needy I sound.

I watch as Eva smiles and resting her head against me once more she squeezes me, "Oh you mean the bit where I said that I love you with every fibre of my being, that I can't deal with the idea of being separated from you and I panic a little just thinking about it, and that I am totally irrational when it comes to you and that you everything to me" she says.

"Yes, that's the bit," I say as I close my eyes and allow the words to fill me.

I feel her squeeze me a little and I respond by holding her tighter, and then she starts to speak again.

"I think about you all the time Gideon, everything I do, I do with you in mind, sometimes when I'm not with you I have this desperate need to be with you and to just touch you, my brain scatters and I have to take a moment to ride it out, there have been so many times where I have almost dropped whatever it was I was doing just to get to you, my craving for you has been so bad."

I feel my throat tighten as what she is describing is exactly what I feel for her, I swallow hard, "it is no different for me, maybe now you understand why I say that the words 'I love you' are just not enough when it comes to articulating what I feel for you" I say.

I feel her nod against me, "I have this fantasy..." she says.

My dick pays attention to that and I feel myself harden, "Oh?" I say wondering if she is going to elaborate.

"Yeah, I have this fantasy where I just barge into your office during one of your meetings and I just walk into you and hold you, just like I am doing now," she says.

"Eva," I say softly I know she can probably feel my erection between us and that thought is confirmed a moment later as she reaches between us and strokes me.

"I have other fantasies too," she says seductively and in the highly strung state that I have been in all morning those words nearly have me coming there and then in my pants.

"Christ Eva," I say.

She looks up at me, "I need you" she says quietly, and that is all the invitation I need.

A short while later we are riding back to the Crossfire, I am now totally sated and relaxed and I glance at Eva and she too looks far more relaxed now.

"We never did get any lunch," Eva says suddenly with a small giggle.

"If you look in that bag lass you'll find something, to tide you both over," Angus says from the front, I look and notice the small bag, Eva grabs it and looks inside and her face lights up.

"Thank you, Angus," she says and she pulls out two delicious looking deli sandwiches and hands one to me.

I glance up and meet Angus's eyes in the rearview mirror, "thank you," I say and Angus just smiles.

**oooOOOooo**

**(EVA)**

I arrive back at my desk, feeling much happier now. Those phone calls from Richard and the subsequent one from my mother scattered me and threatened to freak me out completely.

I can't believe my mother is being so... irresponsible and callous. Before I can concentrate on the afternoon work I feel the need to call my dad once more and update him on what I now know.

"Hello," he says as he answers.

"Hi dad," I say trying to keep my tone light.

"Hello sweetheart, I haven't heard anything yet," he says.

"I have" I reply.

"Oh?" he says nervously.

"Yeah, mom called me she is at a hotel at the airport waiting for a flight out to San Diego, she was totally unrepentant at what she has done, and the way she described how she feels about you... well, while I can totally relate I still can't condone it, because of what it's done to Richard Stanton" I say.

My father doesn't answer so I plough on.

"Also after I spoke to mom, Richard called me again, you know the time when Ben Clancy caught you and mom together?" I say.

"Yes," my dad says warily.

"Well he's told Stanton what he saw, and so that news on top of what mom has already confessed to was enough for him to throw in the towel, he said he's not fighting for her and so basically she's all yours, I don't know when she's flying out but I really hope this is what you both want because there is no going back, Richard said he's starting divorce proceedings, and I don't think she'll be walking away with a nice fat settlement this time," I say.

"Eva, while I'm sorry that Stanton guy has been caught up and hurt by this, this is the moment we have dreamed about all our lives, I love your mother... it's so hard to explain, I can say the words I love you to her but they just don't seem... enough."

My heart clenches as that is pretty much what Gideon always says and hearing that and knowing how my mom described how she feels for my dad, they are like Gideon and I they are the other half of each other and they have been forced, first by my grandfathers evil control obsession and then circumstances, to be apart for the majority of their lives, in that moment I let go of the feelings of awkwardness I feel about this, Richard doesn't hold me or Gideon responsible, he is letting her go with his best wishes and my mom and dad can finally be together and be happy, I guess that is all I could possibly wish for.

"Well, just take care of her," I say eventually after I have processed everything.

"I intend to sweetheart, and don't forget she will also be closer to her mother here - far closer, as her mother is in a hospital up in Los Angeles," he says.

"I didn't know that," I say surprised by that news, "I assumed she was somewhere in New York" I add.

"No, we are both Californians born and bred," my dad says.

"I see," I say somewhat a little lamely.

"Yeah so the next time you and Gideon fly out we'll make sure you are introduced to your grandmother at last," my dad says.

A sudden question spills out of my mouth, "Why did she keep her secret from me?" I ask.

I hear my dad sigh, "When your grandfather died and the money ran out, she did a few not totally legal things to ensure her mother's care was uninterrupted, I helped smooth things over and erased the paper trail, but she didn't want you to find out what she did, but more importantly she didn't want anyone else to put two and two together and work out what she did either, so when she married George and left California it was easier to cut all ties. I helped her set up a bank account which paid the hospital bills and she kept that topped up with money, all the divorce settlements went in it and what she could get away with siphoning off from her rich husbands, you assumed your mother was a spendthrift all these years, when in reality she wasn't she was carefully maintaining her mother's care".

I'm shocked, "So she hasn't seen her mother since she married George?" I ask.

"She has, vacations in LA – do you remember any of those growing up?"

I search my memory and sure enough, reasonably regular family vacations to LA feature and another memory of LA when I was ten years old surfaces.

I take a sharp breath in as everything becomes totally and brutally clear. "That's why she has been so guilt-ridden all these years," I say unthinkingly.

"What?" my dad asks, "Eva what is it?" he asks now on alert at my distressed tone.

"I told her... when it all came out about Nathan when I was 14, I was asked if I remembered when it started, my mom was there with me with the policewoman and I said I could remember exactly when it was, I said the first time he raped me was when we were on holiday in LA, George had gone somewhere – some business meeting he'd arranged while we were in California, he always did things like that, arranged business meetings while away on vacation, and that particular day mom said she had to go out somewhere too, and that she wouldn't be long and that we should stay in the hotel room and not to answer the door, that... that was... that was the first time... Nathan... we were left alone you see."

I stop speaking unable to say any more, the depth of my mother's guilt and self-recrimination not to mention her pathological need to know my every movement becomes clear.

I am breathing heavily, "I have to go, dad," I say.

"Ok sweetheart, are you ok, you don't sound ok?" he says clearly worried.

"No I'll be fine, it's just, everything makes sense now," I say.

"Alright, I'll call you when I hear from your mom and when she gets here I'll get her to call you," he says.

"Thanks, dad, bye for now and stay safe," I say.

"I will, bye sweetheart, I love you," he says.

"I love you too daddy," I say and I hang up.

I sit just staring at my phone for several moments processing everything when I hear a voice.

"Eva are you ok?" it makes me jump and I turn to see Mark looking concerned.

"I'm fine" I lie.

"Are you sure, you don't look fine?" he says.

"No I'm fine" I state firmly and I push the unpleasant memories from my mind and try to focus on my work.

After about 10 minutes it becomes obvious that isn't working and while I really don't want to do this as I don't want to disrupt Gideon's day I really need my husband.

I stand abruptly and before I can reconsider what I am doing I am walking towards Gideon's office. He looks up as he sees me and concern fills his face, he is pacing his office talking, he obviously on a business call, but a moment later he is yanking off the headset and striding out towards me.

"Eva, what is it? What's wrong?" he asks, and wrapping his arm around me leads me into his office and shuts the door.

He frosts the glass and turns towards me, and I am there and in his arms clinging to him.

"What is it?" he asks.

I tell him everything, my call to my dad and everything that was said, Gideon listens carefully and gently runs his hand up and down my back offering me what comfort he can.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, it was just a shock that's all, and it also answers a lot of questions about mom's behaviour over the years," I say.

"Never, ever apologise for needing me Eva," Gideon says firmly, "You always come first you know that," he adds.

A few moments later I feel strong enough to continue with my afternoon, it's amazing what a few moments in my husband's arms does for my piece of mind.

**oooOOOooo**

I am getting ready to leave for the afternoon when my phone buzzes I pull my jacket on and pick it up and see my father's name on the screen once more.

"Hi dad," I say as I answer.

"Eva, your mother has just called me she is on her way here now, she has managed to get on a non-stop flight," he says.

This news upsets me more than I anticipated, why hasn't she called me?

"She asked me to call you, and tell you because you were so angry with her earlier, I said I would, but I will get her to call you when she arrives, and I'm asking you not to be too angry with her when she does," he says.

I sigh, "I'm over it dad, I get it I really do, especially after our conversation this afternoon and I don't want to argue anymore, and I just want her and you to be happy."

"Thank you, I'll tell her that," he says and I can hear the relief in his voice as he says it.

That makes me feel a little guilty for my reaction earlier.

"Ok dad, look I have to go now," I say.

"No problem, I'll talk to you soon," my dad says.

"I will, I love you, dad," I say.

"I love you too" he replies.

I sign off with my usual stay safe and pick up my purse pushing my phone inside.

"Goodnight Mark" I call as I walk past his office.

"Goodnight Eva" he replies and I head towards Gideon's office as I turn a corner he is walking towards me.

"Oh," I say as I stop dead at the sight of him.

"Ready to go, Angel, after our therapy tonight I am taking you out for dinner, after the day we have had I think we need it," he says.

"But we nearly always go out for dinner?" I say slightly confused at what he is getting at.

I watch as amusement crosses his face, he kisses me and pulls me close, "you misunderstood what I meant, I meant we need our therapy tonight, I know I want to discuss Hammonds visit and I'm certain you need to discuss your mother's actions" he says.

I smile, Gideon has totally embraced therapy, now he has learnt not all mental health professionals are like Hugh.

"My dad phoned again a few moments ago," I say.

"Oh?" Gideon says carefully.

"Yeah mom's on her way to San Diego as we speak, she asked dad to call me and tell me as she didn't want to face me yelling at her again, but dad says he will get her to call me herself when she gets there" I say.

"It will be late" I add and I smile as I remember my dad demanding I call mom after I'd told him Gideon and I was married and the resulting late night call to New York.

We arrive at Dr Petersens, Gideon climbs out and holds out his hand to me, this is different, usually, its me who is eager to go in and encouraging him to follow me, it makes me happy to see him so willing to do this.

Dr Petersen greets us warmly, and I pay close attention to Gideon's interaction with him, he certainly seems more relaxed now in his company. He is driving out all his demons one by one.

"Good evening you are both looking well tonight," Dr Petersen says kindly as we take our usual seats.

"it's been quite an eventful day today and I would like your take on it," Gideon says jumping in before I can speak.

I stare at him, this is unheard of, Gideon normally lets me begin and he slowly starts contributing as the session continues.

Dr Petersen also seems a little bit stunned by Gideon's forthcoming attitude, but he quickly recovers and picks up his tablet and stylus.

"Alright, when you're ready Gideon," he says.

I watch my husband clasp his hands together and lean forward and then he begins to speak.

"James Hammond – that's Corinne's father showed up today to try and persuade us to drop the charges," he says.

"I see," Dr Petersen says, "and what was your reaction to that?" he asks.

I watch Gideon smirk, "I just sat back and watched Eva tear him apart," he says.

"Interesting, yet you have always struck me as person who likes to be in control of situations Gideon, I don't mean that disrespectfully, or in a negative way," Dr Petersen says.

I watch Gideon think about that and then he nods in agreement.

"Usually I am, yes, I'd agree with that, it threw me that Hammond had come at all, and the first thing I thought was that he wanted me to drop the charges against Corinne, I felt I needed Eva with me when I saw him, it seemed to be the right thing to do, she came and when he confirmed that was his reason for calling, Eva pointed out to him very clearly why we wouldn't, Hammond didn't know what had hit him."

Gideon looks at me with such love and something else... gratefulness.

What was the outcome?" Dr Petersen asks.

"Eva went to town on him and in the end, she pulled in Arash – our personal attorney and he also pointed out that Hammond should never have come to ask what he did, Hammond realised he had made a mistake and he left".

"How did that make you feel?" Dr Petersen asks.

Gideon shrugs "relieved, I was angry he had come at all and suggested such a thing but relieved and happy Eva had made him see sense," he says.

"How would you describe Eva's actions, would you say she was controlled and calm or rude?" Dr Petersen asks and I feel myself blush as I remember just how rude I was.

Gideon smiles and the searing heat in his eyes as he looks at me almost makes me melt on the spot, Dr Petersen notices and writes something down.

"She was magnificent, she was brutally blunt and to the point, and yes she cursed at him so it could also be argued that she was rude, but it was nothing he didn't deserve… Eva always fights for me and to watch her do that, she is like a tigress protecting her cubs, when he arrived she jumped straight in there and she didn't give him chance to get the upper hand for one moment, and like a tigress she didn't hesitate when it was time for the kill and she let him have it."

"That's an interesting analogy you used there Gideon, so when you see Eva fighting for you and defending you, how does that make you feel?" Dr Petersen asks.

It hits me right there, it's all down to my belief in him, because I love him and believe him and will fight his corner, in his mind James Hammond coming and asking for the charges to be dropped was him saying he didn't believe what Gideon said about Corinne, that's why he needed me there, because he knew instinctively I believed him and he knew I would make Hammond see the truth, just as I had made his family – specifically his mother see the truth.

I return my attention to Gideon interested in how he answers that, and his answer confirms for me my theory.

"It makes me feel loved and believed, to know that she has that sort of faith in me to stand up for me towards other people, it's humbling and I never want her to lose that trust in me," he says.

"You never will baby," I say.

Gideon smiles and hesitates and I wonder what he is going to say next, "Watching her eviscerate Hammond, it was also very... arousing."

"It turned you on sexually to see Eva fighting for you?" Dr Petersen asks.

Gideon nods, "Very much so," he admits.

"Why do you think that is?" Dr Petersen asks.

Gideon shrugs, "I have no idea."

"I think I know" I say, Dr Petersen looks at me and I take a deep breath.

"Listening to what Gideon has said I think it all comes down to a question of belief in his word for him, to him Hammond coming and trying to get Corinne off was like him saying he didn't believe what had happened and I made him believe it," I pause, "Like I did when Gideon wasn't believed before, I made people who had disbelieved him for years realise they were wrong, and that Gideon was telling the truth."

I see Dr Petersen smile and nod and Gideon stares at me.

"Shit Angel that is deep" he says, "I had never thought of it like that, but now, I can see it, and now you have pointed that out, I can see why I get turned on when you fight for me, and thats some even deeper shit, you released me from Hugh and what he did, and from Lucas's lies, until I met you sex for me was always about dominance, I picked women who threw themselves at me who were sexual predators who wanted to dominate me... like Hugh did, and so I took them to my hotel, my space and I fought to gain the upper hand and I always did, but with you it's different, it always has been, yes there is the element of me having control but also of me submitting to you it's complicated" he pauses and I can see him working it out when he gets it he looks straight at me.

"You make me want to give myself to you, cede control to you something I have never done before, when you stand beside me and fight for me it makes me aroused because it makes me want to give myself to you in every way."

I stare at him, "That is fucking deep!" I say.

Dr Petersen looks at Gideon, "that is what we call a breakthrough, now all you have to discover is why it makes you want to give yourself to Eva."

"Because she believes me," he says simply.

And there it is, what I had suspected all along, to Gideon, my belief and trust in him _is _my love.

"Thank you, Gideon," Dr Petersen says he turns to me, "Do you have anything to add Eva?" he asks, I shake my head.

Dr Petersen smiles, "what would you like to talk about tonight Eva?" he asks.

I take a deep breath, "my mother" I bite out and Dr Petersen's eyebrows rise and he pauses a moment.

"Alright," he says.

And I can't stop it the resentfulness at what she did to Stanton, the acceptance that she should be with my father and guilt that I feel that way after everything Stanton did for us, and the shock as I realised the full extent of why she was like she was with me, it all comes tumbling out, Dr Petersen interjects at various points and I respond, I cry, I shout, I pace and at one point I think I even scream, I let it all out and Gideon just sits staring at me, partly in shock I think at my visceral reaction when I am done I feel oddly cleansed, and a sense of acceptance at what she has done fills me.

I slump down in my seat, I'm spent, Gideon immediately pulls me towards him and holds me and I let him, feeling his love leech into me, is comforting and I close my eyes.

Dr Petersen looks at us both, "I think tonight has been very important for both of you, a real breakthrough, and I feel privileged to have seen it, I believe that a number of very deep-seated issues have been worked through and laid to rest once and for all tonight for both of you".

Gideon nods, "I totally agree," he says quietly.


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

**(GIDEON)**

I am sitting waiting, waiting in the hospital for Dr Marshall. I am holding Eva's hand tightly and we are sitting in a comfortable reassuring silence. I am feeling a high sense of anticipation because today we hopefully will find out the sex of our baby. I really don't care whether it is a boy or a girl, all I want is for the baby to be born safely and to be healthy.

Eva is exceedingly quiet this morning, after last night's therapy session, it's no wonder really, that was one epic meltdown she had, I know the hormones from the pregnancy are affecting her mood, and her mood swings are greater than mine at the moment and that's saying something, but last night was something else. I take a moment to look at my wife and she sees me staring at her and she smiles at me. That small gesture squeezes my heart almost painfully, god I love her so damn much.

After that monumental therapy session, I feel a sense of completion that the puzzle that is my life is now finally complete, I smile as I think about it, despite the ordered and controlled life I led before I met Eva I was a broken puzzle, pieces everywhere and Eva came into my life and she sat and put them altogether making me whole. I look at her again, I hope that now she understands her mother fully she also feels the same a sense of inner peace that I now have.

We had gone to dinner after our therapy session and we had talked about what had been discussed and how we now felt about everything that came out, the realisations we came to and where we go from this pivotal point in our lives.

I have never felt as close to another human being as I felt as we left the restaurant we had returned to the Penthouse and continued to talk for a while then Eva had called Cary and filled him in on the events of the day and what her mother had done. I no longer feel resentful that she does that, Cary is her friend, she sees him like a brother and nothing more, something until now I could never accept, to me he was always a threat to my hold on her and someone who I believed wasn't a good influence on Eva but now I see things much differently. I remember we had settled down in front of the TV when the expected call came from San Diego, it was late so as soon as Eva's phone buzzed I knew who it was.

My mind replays that call...

_"Hello mom," Eva says as she answers the call._

_She has put it on speaker so I can hear, we are both lying on the sofa and I am curled behind her, my arm wrapped around her, I think it is telling to how she has now accepted everything that we are still lying like this, relaxed and calm whilst she talks with her mother._

_"Hello honey" Monica's wary voice comes through and fills the room, there is a brief silence._

_"Look, mom, I'm sorry ok, I'm sorry for what I said this morning it was a shock but I get it now," Eva says breaking that silence._

_I hear a sob, "Oh thank god" Monica says I'm not sure if she meant us to hear that, but we did. _

_"Well, I'm here, I've arrived safely and I'm with your father, I've called Richard and we've talked, I've apologised to him and we've agreed that divorce proceedings will start immediately, I am taking full responsibility so it shouldn't take long to be completed, I'm sorry if it has made you feel awkward, that wasn't my intention," she says._

"_No that's fine mom, I get it now, I get everything, I get all your guilt over Nathan, I get your freaky stalking behaviour – I get it all and I've worked through it and I've let it go, you are now where you are supposed to be, where you always should have been, so you should let it go now too mom, draw a line and look forward now," Eva says._

_I listen to my wife as she makes her peace with her mother then I hear the moment Monica lets go of the past as well._

_I hear a deep sigh "It's over, the past is in the past, you are safe and you are healthy and well and most importantly for me you are happy, and thanks to the generosity of your husband I am now able to be where I was always supposed to be, that is something I will always be eternally grateful for, we look forward now, not back" she says._

"_Yeah mom we look forward... erm there is one more thing," Eva says. _

"_Yes?" Monica asks._

"_Can I meet my grandmother? I'd like to," Eva asks carefully._

_"Of course you can, whenever you want to," Monica says._

_Eva looks up at me, and I shrug, "we can fly out at the weekend if you want to" I say._

_Eva beams at me "Mom, Gideon said we will fly out at the weekend, if that's ok, we will fly out Friday night and come home Sunday?" she asks hopefully._

_I hear discussion on the on the other end of the phone as Monica is obviously relaying this to Victor._

_"That is perfect, I can't wait," Monica says, the excitement obvious in her voice..._

Suddenly I am pulled from my recollections as I hear our name called, I look up and see Dr Marshall smiling brightly at us.

"Ok then, hello, I'm so sorry to keep you waiting," she says brightly.

We greet her and go through all the usual routine including, blood pressure and weight check I watch as Dr Marshall frowns a little as she takes Eva's blood pressure.

"Your blood pressure is a little high," she says.

I look up, panic surging through me, I know this is bad, I have been researching and found some quite disturbing facts about a condition called Pre Eclampsia which is related to high blood pressure. I wait for Dr Marshall to say something reassuring.

"We've been dealing with a rather a large amount of stress recently," Eva says carefully.

Dr Marshall smiles, "Yes I know" she turns to me, "Are you fully recovered now?" she asks me politely.

Shit, of course, the shooting, I nod, "I am thank you" I manage to say, I will never forgive myself if something happens to the baby and Eva because of me.

"Yesterday was also a particularly shitty day, but I think we've worked it all out now," Eva continues.

Dr Marshall looks sympathetically towards Eva.

"Ok, well that is good to know and could explain this, as up to now we haven't had any real issues with your blood pressure. But to be sure we will keep an eye on things just so we can rule out anything more sinister."

The appointment continues and then comes the part I have been waiting for, we move into the ultrasound room, I take my usual place at the side of the bed and reach for Eva.

Dr Marshall looks at her notes, "So, we have you at around 19/20 weeks now Eva, at the last scan baby Cross was reluctant to show us whether or not he or she was a boy or a girl and I know you were interested in finding out, is that still the case?" she asks.

Eva nods, "Yes we do," I say eagerly.

"Ok then, let's hope baby Cross co-operates today then," she says and she places the wand on Eva's small, barely there bump.

I focus on the screen and make out the picture and my throat tightens at the sight of it, the baby is moving around, its arms are flailing and legs are kicking, Christ, look at that! I feel a smile pulling at my lips as I watch our baby moving, I stare transfixed and Dr Marshall freezes the screen briefly and does the usual checks and measurements. We are given a running commentary on what is happening, how everything looks to be as it should be and that the baby looks healthy. Dr Marshall unfreezes the screen and we wait.

"Baby Cross is very active today, almost taunting us, moving around but not giving us clear views of what we want to see... oh wait..." Dr Marshall freezes the screen and points.

"There we go, conclusive evidence right there, do you see?" she says.

I lean closer and see two tiny white dots she is circling with the cursor, I nod when I see them but have no idea what that means, I look helplessly towards Dr Marshall who is beaming at us.

"Congratulations, you have a very healthy and very active baby boy."

I freeze, a boy! I have a son, I look again at the screen which has once again been unfrozen, and I watch my son moving freely, rolling around inside Eva, my son!

I grip Eva's hand a myriad of emotions consume me, love, pride, wonder, awe, protectiveness... and fear – I ruthlessly push that one away as I have no time for negativity today this is a happy day, my mind immediately sees me playing on a beach with a little blond haired boy with stormy grey eyes, my son, I see me building sandcastles, I see me teaching him to ride a bike, to sign his name, I see trips, football and baseball games, hiking in the countryside, I see my future laid out before me, a future I never dreamed I could have.

I am going to be someone's father, their mentor, their protector and guardian, I have a son, and as I take in the grainy image I vow that I will never allow anyone to hurt my son as I was hurt, I look at Eva who is watching me closely she is the one who has made all this possible, my love for my wife fills me and I wrap my arm around her unable to say anything but there is one thing I know for certain, I will fight till my last breath to keep my family safe.

Dr Petersen has moved now and my hand instinctively moves to Eva's little bump and I cover it, protecting it, protecting my son. Eva's hand covers mine and my eyes lift to meet hers.

"Our son," I say.

Eva smiles at me, "our son" she repeats.

Dr Marshall returns and hands me the now expected photograph and I stare at it, my son. We move back to the other office and I can't take my eyes off the picture.

"Ready?" I look up in surprise at Eva's question.

"Huh?!" I ask still clutching my photograph tightly in my hand.

Eva smiles at me, "I said are you ready, we can go now" she says with more than a little amusement.

"Erm, yeah sure," I say and I thank Dr Marshall and placing my free hand at the bottom of Eva's back we leave the doctor's office.

"Are you ok?" Eva asks me as we make our way out.

"I'm fine, I have a son," I say as I snatch another quick look at my picture, "we have a son" I quickly correct myself.

Angus is waiting for us and steps out of the car as we approach, he looks at me questioningly, "Is everything as it should be?" he asks me and he glances at Eva giving her a smile.

I beam at him and thrust the picture at him, "I have a son" I say proudly, and I watch as those words register and Angus's rugged face breaks into a wide smile.

He takes the picture from me and examines it closely.

"Well I never did," he says in awe as he looks at it.

"It was amazing Angus, you should have seen him, the way he moved around," I gush.

Angus hands the picture back to me and I pull my phone out and I take a photograph of it before carefully placing the picture into my wallet along with the others I have.

When we get to the Crossfire Eva leaves me and goes to her office in the Marketing department and I head to mine, as soon as I am inside and alone I frost the walls giving me a moment of privacy and pull out my picture once more, running my finger reverently over the image.

This has made my mind up for me, I had already decided that I want to be a hands-on father I want to do all the things I saw in my mind earlier, I want my child to grow up knowing his father was there for him and was an active and integral part of his life.

I look around me, but doing all that means I will have to let go of my grip on my other baby, the baby I built from the ground up, the baby which gave me control, money and power, the baby which gave me a purpose and a place in the world, my baby which dragged the name Cross out of the gutter and inspired new levels of respect in it.

Cross Industries is a demanding baby, it needs my time and attention, for a long while I had nothing else, so I willingly gave it, working around the clock to build what I now have, but now I have something more precious, more powerful than anything Cross Industries ever gave me, I have love, I have a family.

I have made more money than I could spend in several lifetimes and if I sell off portions of the company that will add to that personal wealth, I am in a position where we could happily live on the interest of my personal accounts alone for a lifetime. My plan forms in my mind and takes shape the more I think about it, I look down once more at the picture in my hand, I want my son to know without question his father loves him and puts him before business, something I was never totally convinced of with my own father.

I decide to put in place the first part of my plan, it is something I have been considering since the shooting and now that I am getting along better with my own family it feels like the right thing to do, so I pick up my phone.

"Arash I need to see you," I say as my attorney answers.

"I'll be right there" he replies.

**oooOOOooo**

"You are totally sure about this?" Arash asks me a final time and I nod.

"Ok I'll get the contracts drawn up to the specifications," he says and with that, he leaves. I pick up my phone, now to tell the people concerned.

"Mark Garrity's office Eva Cross speaking" I smile as I hear my wife.

"Eva I need you to come up to my office," I say.

"Ok, give me five minutes" she replies and a moment later she is gone.

My next call is to Chris and Christopher, I ask them to come to the Crossfire, I know it won't take long, as Vidal Records's office is close by, they agree and tell me they will be with me shortly. I could do this over the phone but I want to tell them face to face. I stand and poking my head out my door I tell Scott that Chris and Christopher are on their way here and they are to be brought straight in, Scott nods and informs reception of this.

I sit down at my desk and wait, wondering what their reactions will be to the decision which I have made.

I see Eva approaching and I pick up the phone and ask Scott to get my mother and Ireland on a conference call for me, I know Ireland is not at school at the moment as she texted me a short while ago to say hi and when I'd questioned her she had told me she had a double free period so she didn't actually have to be in school until after lunch.

Eva steps into my office and looks at me questioningly, "What's up?" she asks.

"I have made a number of decisions this morning, I am downsizing, selling off a large portion of Cross Industries, and delegating the remainder of my workload, so I don't need to have such a hands-on role in the company," I say.

Eva sits down on the sofa, she looks a little shocked by this, "Ok, can I ask why?" she says.

I nod "You can, I have been giving this a lot of thought and it's primarily because of the baby, I want to be a hands-on father, I want my son to know without any shadow of a doubt that his father put him first, plus I don't need the money we have more than enough to live on for several lifetimes" I say decisively.

I see Eva's eyes soften and I feel a sense of relief, she knows, she gets what I'm saying.

"Alright, so why am I here now?" she asks.

"Because I'm starting right now, I've discussed this with Arash and you need to be present to witness the first company I am relinquishing, I feel it is the right one to start the ball rolling".

I stop talking as I see Chris and Christopher approach and Eva notices and she turns, following my gaze.

"Vidal Records," she says understanding immediately and I nod.

Chris and Christopher enter the room and as I greet them, on cue my desk phone rings, I put the call on speaker so that everyone in the room can hear.

"Mr Cross I have your conference call with your mother and sister on the line," Scott says efficiently.

"Thank you, Scott," I say and I press the button for the line my mother is on.

"Hello, mom can you hear me?" I ask.

"I can, what's this about Gideon?" she asks.

"Hang on mom, Ireland are you there?" I ask as I press another button on the phone.

"I am," Ireland says.

"Good, we can proceed then," I say.

I look around at the faces surrounding me and I work out what I am going to say. I took over this company when it was in serious danger of going under, I have dragged it into the black and now it is a very profitable concern, I have over the years bought up more and more of Vidal records and now after my latest efforts the only shareholders are myself, Chris and Christopher, so I am now reversing the decision which was made to take the company public and I'm reorganising the structure and the redistribution of shares.

I need their full co-operation and I am not totally convinced I will get it. I look at Chris and Christopher who are sitting on the sofa opposite Eva, I pull the phone on to the coffee table and sit down beside Eva and looking at the expectant faces in front of me I begin to speak.

"Thank you for coming, I have made some long term decisions regarding Vidal records which I want to run past you and which I hope you will agree to, first of all, I want to establish that currently, the only shareholders of Vidal records are Chris, Christopher and myself as I have been quietly buying out all the other shareholders over a period of time, and the final acquisition of shares was finalised just an hour ago, so essentially it is now a family business once more."

I gesture to Chris and Christopher as I say this and I let that sink in and I see the look of surprise on Chris's face.

"So, I have taken the decision to withdraw Vidal Records from the stock market, and by doing so effectively reversed the decision to take the company public," I say after a moment.

There is a gasp from the phone and I assume it was my mother and Christopher's mouth drops open, I pause to let that also sink in and then I take a deep breath as I detail what I want to do, as it means them giving up their shares to me to reorganise them, it is unprecedented and I am in uncharted waters, but I plough on as I explain my plan.

"I want Vidal records to be a private family company again, the distribution of shares to include Ireland once more, as she was always meant to be a shareholder and also my wife Eva, who will hold the shares for my son until he comes of age".

I pause realising I have just announced to my family that we are having a boy and both Chris and Christopher look surprised and pleased at the news and they both nod and I hear Ireland give a small exclamation.

I quickly continue, "that being said, I propose the redistribution of shares to be as follows, Chris Vidal Senior 52% Christopher and Ireland Vidal 15% each which leaves 18% I propose that is split between myself, Eva – as custodian for my unborn son, and my mother equally at 6% each, which means, I have gone from having controlling interest the company and being the primary shareholder, to being a minor shareholder, and even if Eva and I join forces using the shares she is holding for my son we will still be a minority share holding with 12% compared to Christopher and Ireland's 15%, this will also stand when my shares are inherited by my son in the event of my death."

I wait and look expectantly at the shocked faces around me.

"Why?" Chris says eventually," You will lose millions by doing this?" he adds.

I shrug, "since I met Eva I have learnt that there is more to life than making money, I can stand the loss, and I want to give you back your company, I only ever took it on in the first place to stop it from folding, and now it is strong and I am confident it will continue without my primary input" I say.

I see Chris pull a calculator across the table and quickly work something out and he pushes it towards Christopher he looks at it and I watch him, he looks up from the calculator and is now staring at me as though I have completely lost my mind. I hear my mother on the phone sniff and Ireland coughs.

"What do you two think, Mom, Ireland?" I say.

My mom's sobs come to me, "Gideon, you took over Vidal records when it was going under and you turned it around, to save me from having to go through another financial meltdown, and yet I have failed you all your life, I could not protect you and save you when you needed me, I am humbled Gideon and I have nothing more to say other than thank you".

"Ok mom," I say hoarsely, "What about you Ireland?" I say.

"You are a good man Gideon," she says, "I am proud to call you my brother, you didn't have to do this but you did," I swallow hard at her words, and glance around the table.

"Does everyone agree then?" I ask.

I hear a yes from my mom and Ireland, and I glance from Chris to Christopher who both nod in unison.

"Ok then" I say as I stand up, "Arash is producing the required paperwork and contracts for you to sign over your shares to me and also the new contracts which effectively redistribute them, as soon as they are ready I'll ask you all to come here again and we'll get it done."

I look at Chris and Christopher and I'm surprised when Chris comes around to me and folds me into his arms and hugs me tightly, I awkwardly pat him on the back and then pull away. Christopher stares at me still shocked at what he has heard and then he smiles and hesitantly offers his hand to me I grasp it and shake it and he too pulls me into a hug.

**oooOOOooo**

_Three days later..._

**(EVA)**

I am sitting in one of the conference rooms, beside me is Gideon and beside him is Arash who is at this moment going through the points of the contracts in front of us.

I look around me, opposite us are Chris, Christopher and Ireland and at the end of the table is Elizabeth and at the other end of the table is Scott who is taking notes to record this meeting.

"So is everyone totally clear?" Arash says and there are numerous nods and a chorus of yes's.

I watch as Gideon pulls a fancy looking fountain pen from his pocket and goes to sign the contract in front of him. I look at it and remember seeing him use that pen when he signed the contract for the deeds to the Outer Banks house that day.

"Wait!"

He pauses, and we all turn as one to look at Elizabeth who has just called out.

"I want to change something," she says, she looks at Gideon, "is that possible or is it too late?" she asks.

"It's possible," Gideon says tightly.

She looks at me, "I want Eva to have a share in her own right" she says, I stare at her not knowing what to say about this, I had been insistent with Gideon and Arash repeatedly making sure I would gain nothing from holding the shares I held for our son.

Elizabeth looks towards Chris, "I feel it is the right thing to do as if it wasn't for Eva none of this would be happening" she says, I watch and see Chris nod in agreement, emboldened by this she leans forward.

I shake my head, "No" I say, "I have nothing to do with this, this company was established long before I came into Gideon's life, I have no right to it" I say.

I see Elizabeth deflate at my words, and I realise she was trying to do something nice.

"Well it could be argued that I have no place or right to a share anymore either," she says.

I see Gideon thinking, his agile mind working things out, Chris leans forward, "How about if Elizabeth's 6% is split, 3% for Elizabeth and 3% for Eva, that way if you join with Eva using your son's shares, and Eva's that takes you to 15% which is equal to Christopher and Ireland?"

I watch and see Gideon nod.

"I'm happy with that if everyone else is?" he says.

I watch as everyone nods in agreement.

Arash looks around, "I propose we sign the current contracts as planned and then draw up a separate new contract for Elizabeth to gift Eva the 3% which can then be signed at a later date," he says.

Again there are murmurs of agreement to this and I watch as Gideon signs his copy of the contract with a flourish and then he hands his pen to me.

"Use this pen Angel," he says adamantly.

I take it from him, as far as I am concerned a pen is a pen, but he seems to be insistent that I use this particular one, so I don't argue and I humour him, I look at it and see the initials on the side, 'GC' and my eyebrows rise, it's not like Gideon to be ostentatious and so I'm surprised he has something like this. I see Elizabeth notice the pen and she gasps in recognition at it and I pause, maybe those initials don't stand for Gideon Cross after all?

Gideon sees both his mothers and my reaction, "That was my father's pen," he says quietly to me confirming my suspicions, "He used that pen to sign his name and destroy the Cross name, I always use it now, for every contract I sign..." he trails off.

"To restore the respect in the Cross name with the same pen," I finish for him, he nods and I realise the significance to him insisting I sign my copy of the contract with it as well, as this contract refers to our son's shares.

I point at the paperwork once more, before I sign, "And to be clear I gain nothing from these shares that I am holding?" I say.

I see Gideon roll his eyes in exasperation, "No Angel, you are just holding them in trust for our son, until he comes of age," he says.

I nod and sign the contract, I see Gideon sigh with relief.

"Alright so that's done as soon as Arash has the supplementary contracts ready for my mother's shares to be gifted to Eva I'll let you know," he says and stands up looking at his watch, then he turns to look at me.

"We need to go now Angel, we have a flight waiting," he says.

I look at my own watch and am surprised to see it is nearly 5:15, I know that Angus took our bags to the plane earlier and our take-off slot is 7 pm but we have to get to the airport, so we do soon need to make a move.

"Where are you going, anywhere nice?" Chris says with a smile.

"We are flying to San Diego, to spend the weekend with my parents" I explain and Chris smiles.

"Very nice, I'd like to see your parents again before the vow renewal in December, after all the last time we met wasn't under the best circumstances." he says.

"That can be arranged" Gideon puts in immediately, clearly trying to stop me remembering the events surrounding that time. He steps away from the table making it clear this meeting has now come to an end, and everyone takes the hint and they get up and file out.

Gideon grabs my hand and leads me back to his office where he shuts down his computer and pulls his jacket from the coat stand. After doing a final check he holds out his hand to me once more and leads me from the office.

Angus is waiting at the kerb and he greets us warmly.

"Your take-off slot is at 7 pm, your bags are on board and there is a car waiting at the hangar for you on your arrival," he says quickly reiterating most of what we already knew.

He glances towards me, "I advised your parents of our ETA and your mother asked me to tell you that they would be waiting at the airport for you to arrive" he says.

"Thank you, Angus," Gideon says.

The traffic isn't too horrendous as we leave the city and we make good time, when we arrive at the plane we are greeted by a young man in a flight attendants uniform embroidered with the words Cross Industries and his badge tells me his name is Eric.

"Good Evening Mr Cross, Mrs Cross," he says politely as we take our seats, "Can I get you anything to eat or drink?" he asks.

I glance at Gideon, I don't know about him but I'm starving, but I know we are going out for dinner with my parents when we arrive in San Diego.

"Could I just have some water and maybe some fruit?" I ask.

Eric nods, "certainly ma'am" he looks at Gideon, "and you sir?" he asks.

Gideon looks up from his phone, "Bourbon on the rocks, no food for me thanks" he says and he returns his attention to his phone.

"What's up?" I ask.

He glances at me and smiles, "Nothing, Arash has just emailed me a draft of the contract for the Vidal shares for you from my mother and I'm just reading it," he says.

"I'm not comfortable with that," I say.

Gideon looks at me once more "Why?" he asks.

"I don't feel right profiting from something I had no part in, Elizabeth is different, I know they are getting a divorce but all the same..." I trail off.

Gideon puts his phone down, "Angel, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be doing what I am doing with Vidal Records, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have the relationship I now have with my family, you deserve them, end of story," he says with an emphatic swipe of his hand.

I decide to let it go. I yawn widely and Gideon looks at me in amusement.

"When we are free to move about go to the bedroom at the back and have a nap," he says.

Eric returns with our drinks and a small bowl of assorted fruit for me, I thank him and select a banana, this should hold me over till I get a meal.

**oooOOOooo**

"Angel, wake up, we are coming into San Diego, you need to get up," I moan and open my eyes and look up straight into a pair of blue ones filled with love which are staring down at me.

"Already?" I ask as I pull my scattered thoughts together.

I look up and notice that Gideon has changed from his suit into a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt.

"You've been out for the count the entire journey," Gideon says with a grin.

As the plane taxis to a halt, I look out of the window and see my mom and dad waiting beside my dad's car and parked next to it is a Benz which I assume is for us. Angus appears and I am slightly surprised to see him.

The doors open and I make my way down the steps, my mom hesitates when she sees me and then steps forward to greet me.

"Hi mom," I say as I reach her, I am surprised as she flings her arms around me and holds me tightly.

"Oh Eva" she gasps.

"Hey mom it's ok," I say gently as I prize her off me, I turn to my dad who is greeting Gideon and then he pulls me into a bone crushing hug as well.

I watch as Gideon greets my mother with a polite kiss on her cheek and he introduces Angus. We go to my dad's car and throw our bags into the trunk, and Angus climbs into the waiting Benz.

When we arrive at my dad's house I look around in surprise, my mom has only been here a couple of days, but already she has put her stamp on the place, there are nick-nacks scattered around the room and photographs of me and mom also adorning the shelves. I know now how Gideon must have felt when I officially moved into the Penthouse and took over by distributing my things all over it.

I see Gideon looking a photograph of me with my mother when I was a child. He turns to look at me and he smiles.

"You look very young in this photograph," he states.

I look at it, "Yeah, I think I was about five or six" I say as I try and place where I was.

"Ok then, shall we go get something to eat?" my father says as he walks in rubbing his hands.

Gideon replaces the photograph and turns towards my father, "yes certainly, what do you have in mind?" he says clearly deferring to my dad, which is in clear contrast with the stunt he pulled last time we were altogether here.

"There is a fantastic steakhouse which I really like," my dad says.

"Victor no, you can't take Gideon to the Steak Pit!" my mother gasps.

Gideon grins at my mother's outburst, "as long as the steak is good and cooked how I like it I don't care where I eat it!" Gideon says which instantly pacifies her.

"Oh, well alright then" she stammers.

"Do I need to change?" Gideon asks my father and he laughs and shakes his head

"No, you're fine, Eva's a bit overdressed though," he says nodding towards me, I glance at myself I am still in my work clothes as I crashed so quickly.

I head to my old room and quickly change into a pair of jeans which I have difficulty fastening and a top and pull my hair into a ponytail before heading out.

"Ok ready?" my dad says as he sees me approach.

I nod and slip my hand into Gideon's.

"Then let's roll!" my dad says and leads us out.

I recognise the Steak Pit as soon as I see it, I came here a few times with my dad when I lived with him, and I think I also came here once or twice with Cary. I like it here, it has a relaxed easy going atmosphere.

"I've been here before, their steaks are really very good" I whisper in Gideon's ear and he nods but doesn't say anything. I wonder if he feels awkward – like my dad undoubtedly did when Gideon took us to that expensive restaurant last time.

My dad strolls up and is greeted like an old friend, "Good Evening Victor, your usual table?" the man says with a grin.

My dad glances at us "erm... yeah sure" he says. I wonder what the hesitation was but as soon as the host sees Gideon he recognises him and his eyes widen.

"Perhaps you'd like one of the booths instead tonight as there are more of you than usual in your party?" he says diplomatically.

My dad nods, "Yeah ok, it might be best" he says and we make our way over, straight away I can see why. The booths are more private and generally nicer whereas the tables are ok but you are close to other diners. I watch as Gideon takes the place in, it is buzzing as it is Friday night as we make our way to the booth and the host fusses to make sure everything is ok for us.

Gideon slides in and I follow while my mom and dad sit the other side. A waitress comes and introduces herself and takes our drinks order.

"Are you ok?" I whisper in Gideon's ear.

He looks at me in surprise, "I'm fine, why do you ask?" he says.

"It's just... I can't see you ever having been to a place like this before" I say and as I say it I realise how much of a snob that makes me sound.

Gideon smiles, "I like it, it's very relaxed, I feel I can relax here," he says.

I grip his hand tightly and he squeezes mine in response.

The meal is a success, my dad and Gideon talk amiably, I look at my dad and he has a level of happiness radiating from him that I have never seen before, and the biggest surprise of all is my mother, she is a totally different person, she is relaxed and there is no handkerchief in sight. I am in awe of her strength, I had always assumed my mother was fragile but it takes real strength to take the decision she did and yet it also saddens me that she spent so many years living a life she didn't want, but it also shows the depth of her compassion and selflessness towards her mother.

"So will I get to meet my grandmother while we are here this weekend?" I ask suddenly.

My mom looks up and smiles, "Yes, of course, you will, she knows all about you, she has always known about you, she has photographs of you and has watched you grow up from those" my mom says.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about her?" I ask, I know my mother made some dubious choices and according to my father made some not so legal decisions when she was first faced with dealing with my grandmother's care and finding the resources to do so, but that doesn't account for the subsequent years since.

She smiles sadly, "I'm not sure, but the only reason I can come up with is that I didn't want my husbands to find out I was spending much more than they thought, I hid taking the money for my mother on my spending, redecoration, furniture, clothes etc, I didn't want any awkward questions raised or finances to be closely inspected," she says with a shrug.

"But if you had told them and come clean they would have helped out, I know George would, and Richard would for that matter, I know that asshole you married after George probably wouldn't but he is irrelevant," I say.

My mother nods, "I know, with hindsight I realise now that if I had been honest I probably would have got the help I needed for my mother but I didn't want to risk it" she says.

"Well you don't have to worry any longer, your mother will be taken care of," Gideon says.

"And you can't begin to know how grateful I am for everything that you have done Gideon," my mother says sincerely.

"Forget it, it's nothing, what's the point of having money if you can't use it to help people who need it," he says, clearly embarrassed by my mother's words.

I see my dad's eyes soften with compassion and he smiles widely at Gideon, "No son, it's not nothing, and I'm not talking about the money aspect either, what you did, gave Monica piece of mind that her mother will be taken care of, plus you gave her the chance to live the life she always wanted to live, and you did the same for me, as I am now able to be with the woman I have always loved, so _that_ is _not_ nothing!"

"You've always loved Monica, there was never any question that there would be anyone else?" Gideon asks.

My dad smiles, "No, no question at all, I knew that if I were to ever have her as I wanted her I would need to wait, and I was prepared to do that, admittedly there were other women over the years, there were brief dates but nothing serious," he says.

"I can understand that level of love, I feel the same about Eva," Gideon says looking at me with such heat in his eyes that I can't breathe for a moment.

My dad nods, "I knew Monica was the only woman I'd ever love so completely, when we met I wasn't very articulate about how I felt the only way I could describe it was I love you but it's just not enough" he says.

Gideon nods in agreement, "I totally understand, I have said the same to Eva, I told her that the words I love you were meaningless and nowhere near adequate because what I felt for her was far more, far deeper" he reaches for my hand as he says this and grips it tightly.


	30. Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30

After a wonderful dinner, we all head back to my father's small simple house, I look around and wonder if my mother will be truly happy here, as it bears no resemblance to the lifestyle she is used to and has lived for the majority of her life.

When we get back we go to my small bedroom and Gideon looks around the room, at first I wonder what he is doing, then it hits me, he is looking for somewhere to sleep and there isn't anywhere, it is a small room with very little room, there is a double bed which takes up most of the space and a chair in the corner is the only other option for him, and he is currently examining it closely.

"You are not sleeping the chair, you will be stiff and in pain tomorrow if you do," I say firmly, pre emptying anything he has to say.

Gideon shakes his head, "I won't sleep with you Angel, I don't want to risk it" he says.

"Gideon, please," I say, trying to make him see reason.

"NO" he snaps.

I can see the fear in his eyes, he doesn't want to risk anything happening, but he fails to see that he has been nightmare free for weeks now and I believe everything will be ok if he does decide to spend the night with me.

I hold up my hands, "fine, then the only other option is the sofa out in the lounge or the spare room Cary uses, but if my mom and dad find you in either of those places you will have some explaining to do," I say.

I am challenging him to refuse, but he just calmly nods, "I can live with that, I would sooner have to explain just how fucked up I am, than risk hurting you or our baby," he says sadly.

I shake my head, "Gideon, you haven't had a nightmare for weeks, the last time was before I came to San Diego with Cary!" I argue, pointing out to him that I don't believe he is a risk any longer.

"I am not risking it," he says through gritted teeth and I should know better than to push him on this.

"Look, let's bring this down a bit, I get why you don't want to sleep with me, but you can't just sleep somewhere else without any explanation, it's a small house, my mom and dad will notice, so the way I see it is you need to go out there and ask to use the spare room and tell them why" I say.

I know I am still pushing him, I am challenging him once more, but I am also secretly hoping that he will refuse and I can talk him around to sharing a bed with me.

I see him take a deep breath and he nods once, "alright" he says then he holds out his hand to me. "Come with me, they are your parents," he says a little childishly.

A little stunned that he has called my bluff and is actually going to do this, I immediately place my hand in his and we head out. My mom and dad are sitting watching a movie on TV and they look up when we join them, my mom gives us a beaming smile.

"Hi, do you want to join us? I thought you'd both turned in" my dad says as he gestures to the sofa.

"Yeah, that's what we need to talk to you about," I say nervously and I glance quickly at Gideon who has that damned impassive mask now firmly in place.

My mom looks up and she frowns at my tone and my dad is immediately on alert.

"What's going on?" my dad asks.

We sit down and Gideon clasps his hands in front of him, he looks ashamed and my heart aches for him to confess something so private and so personal, I never actually expected him to do it, and I feel bad for pushing him now, but it just goes to show how determined he is not to sleep with me until he can be sure that he can do so safely.

I watch as Gideon clears his throat and then keeping his eyes firmly on his hands he speaks.

"Erm... would it be alright if I slept in the spare room?" he asks and then he raises his head slightly to look at my father.

My dad looks from Gideon to me and back again, "sure, but can I ask why, because I would have assumed you would spend the night with your wife?" he says.

I watch as Gideon puts his head down again and I can see the shame written clear on his face, I reach for him and grasp his hand tightly, I pushed him into this so the least I can do now is defend him and help him get through it.

"Gideon and I sleep apart at night because he suffers from nightmares" I say, trying to make it sound like no big deal, "he hasn't had one for a while but he is afraid to sleep with me in case he has one as he gets quite physical when he does have them and he doesn't want to accidentally hurt me especially now with the baby," I say.

"Of course you can use the spare room," my mother says immediately but my dad frowns and looks carefully at Gideon.

"What exactly happens that makes him believe he is going to be such a threat to you?" he asks mildly.

"Dad, its personal, you don't need to answer that Gideon," I say chastising my father for prying and then trying to reassure my husband.

Gideon squeezes my hand, "I do, if I have a nightmare I am a danger to anyone in the house if I wake them up and they try to approach me" he says sadly.

"Baby it's ok" I argue.

"A danger?" my dad asks he looks really worried now, "I think you better start explaining what you mean by that" he adds.

"The nightmares are regarding the time I was abused, I have dreams about that time, and I dream that the abuse is happening and I try and fight off my abuser, I can get quite physical," he says evasively.

My mom looks at Gideon with compassion but my dad looks wary.

"Have you hurt Eva before?" my dad asks.

Gideon nods sadly and my dad's expression hardens. I see it and immediately leap to Gideon's defence.

"He didn't mean to dad, he was asleep and when he woke up it shredded him when he realised what he had done, he is getting help with his dreams and they have improved drastically, he hasn't had one since way before the last time I came to San Diego with Cary" I say sharply.

"There is something you are not saying here" my dad pushes, "something you are not telling me."

"Dad please, stop it, this is hard enough for Gideon as it is, don't make it any tougher for him, all he needs is to sleep in the spare room, you've said he can, so that's it end of story," I say my anger rising at my dad's insistent probing.

"Angel, he has a right to know, if I have a nightmare he has a right to know what to expect," Gideon says. He looks up at my father his expression bleak.

"I am a danger to anyone who gets near me when I have a nightmare, I have a tendency to turn into the aggressor in my dreams, I'm asleep and don't know what I am doing, I can't stress that forcibly enough," he says and then he lowers his head.

I watch my dad's reaction to this and he glares at Gideon and then turns his attention to me.

"What has he done to you?" he asks.

"He attacked me" I whisper.

"He attacked you, sexually?"My dad asks his voice is now as hard as flint.

I nod, "Yes but he didn't mean to, and I fought him off and that was when he woke up and it destroyed him to think he had hurt me," I say.

My dad shakes his head "Jesus Eva" he says.

I open my mouth to defend Gideon again, but before I can say anything he has jumped in and is now speaking directly to my dad.

"Look, I understand this is horrifying for you and I get that hearing what you just have has coloured your opinion of me and that I am the last person you would want your daughter to be with, but Eva loves me and I love her, and her safety and wellbeing is paramount to me, and always has been, I was prepared to spend the night in the chair in the bedroom, but Eva insisted I needed a bed which is why I am here explaining why I can't sleep with my wife."

He stops speaking for a moment and looks at my father a determined expression on his face.

"Is there anything you can do to prevent these nightmares from happening?" My dad asks.

Gideon nods, "I have a prescription, I take medicine at night to try and prevent the nightmares from happening, and I am now getting professional help with everything that happened to me, I am working on my issues and as Eva has said it is working, I haven't had a nightmare for a number of weeks, whereas previously I would have them most nights. So, I am slowly improving, I am better now than I have ever been in my life, but with Eva being pregnant I just can't risk sharing a bed with her," he adds.

I watch my father listen and he shakes his head, this makes me immediately leap to Gideon's defence once again.

"Dad, listen please," I beg.

I stand and I walk over to my father and sit beside him and grasp his hand.

"Yes Gideon did attack me, but he was so shredded over it when he woke up and realised what he had done, and since that time he has been admanant about our sleeping arrangement, I have known about this since I first met him and I first witnessed his nightmares, and I am ok with it, I accept it, but as he has just said he is seeking help and he takes medication now and we sleep in separate beds, since that time he attacked me, the only time we shared a bed was when we married in the Caribbean, we spent our wedding night together, and everything was fine, I am helping him dad, just as he helps me, we are healing each other, we are both sexual abuse survivors and we are healing each other, please believe me, he isn't some sort of a monster, he is my husband and I love him and he helps me, he makes me feel beautiful, he saved me, dad, his love erases Nathan's violence and makes me feel clean and I am helping him overcome his past".

I start to cry and my father wraps me in his arms, "Oh sweetheart" he moans.

"Please dad, he loves me, I love him and we are healing each other," I say between sobs.

"Ok, I'll take your word for it, I trust you both to do the right thing, so, what do we do if you have a nightmare, do we leave you or do we wake you?" my dad asks.

"Don't physically touch me if I am having a nightmare, that is the worst thing you can do, as I will lash out, Eva tends to wake me by calling out to me and filling the room with light, but I do awaken eventually on my own" Gideon says.

My mother stands up and smiles reassuringly at both of us, "I'll go and prepare the spare room for you" she says.

"Thanks, mom," I say gratefully, "I'll come and help you" I add and stand to go with her.

"Thank you," Gideon says equally gratefully.

I follow my mom into the spare room where she is preparing the bed with some fresh linen, she is very quiet and I help her make up the bed.

"You have always known about this?" she asks suddenly.

I nod, "I have, and it makes no difference to me, Gideon is my husband and I love him," I say firmly.

"What did he do to you?" my mom asks.

"Please mom, I really don't want to get into this, but I will reiterate that he had no idea what he was doing, and suffice to say it destroyed him when he woke up and realised what he had done," I say firmly.

"He really is improving though, and it is our goal to eventually spend the entire night together," I say.

"Alright, I won't say any more about it," she says.

"Thank you" I reply gratefully.

We finish preparing Gideon's bed in silence and I know my mom is still worried about this disclosure. I change the subject and voice the question that popped into my head earlier.

"You look happy mom" I begin.

My mother beams at me, "I am, I have to say I have never been so happy as I am right now, or so relaxed," she says, she pauses, "When your father and I were together before, we were always looking over our shoulder, we were afraid at what your grandfather would do next, but now..." She trails off and I see a light in her eyes which I have never seen before today.

"It's just the lifestyle couldn't be more different to what you are used to" I say carefully.

My mother lets out a bitter laugh and shakes her head, "I was never that woman Eva, that was just a role I played for years, and I hated it, the wealth and the trappings, I grew up seeing how my father threw his money about to get what he wanted, to bury his own sins and to hurt people, I despised wealth and everything it stood for."

She pauses and when she speaks again it's with an intensity I have never heard before.

"I hated being a trophy wife, knowing how people envied and despised me in equal parts, I did what I had to do purely for the money to maintain my mother's care, I needed the money so I had to make sacrifices – admittedly living in the lap of luxury may not be considered much of a sacrifice, but for me it was as I was separated from the other half of my soul, but now... now I am where I should have been and if I am honest, I would live in a box with your father – it doesn't concern me in the slightest that my lifestyle and circumstances have now changed beyond recognition" she says firmly.

I stare at my mother in shock at her blunt assessment, but it isn't lost on me that, that lifestyle she says she so clearly despises is the very one which she pushed me towards for years and which my husband enjoys and without that wealth and ready resources she would never have escaped and live the life she now does.

"And yet you wanted that for me and if it wasn't for Gideon you wouldn't be here now" I say before I can stop myself.

I see my mother still, "Eva, I never asked Gideon for his help, he offered, no that's not right, he told me he was doing it, you should be taking it up with him if you are upset about his decision," she says a little defensively.

I shake my head, "No, you misunderstand me, what I am getting at is, for years you pushed me towards this lifestyle and made it clear you wanted me to marry well and as soon as Gideon showed an interest in me, I almost saw the dollar signs in your eyes."

I stop speaking as I am trying to formulate my words so they don't sound quite so accusing or hurtful.

"What I'm trying to say is... oh I don't know, what am I trying to say?... I always made it clear that money wasn't everything, yet you more than encouraged my relationship with Gideon and you nearly had a conniption when we married and I signed the pre-nup without seeking legal advice" I say.

"You almost acted like Gideon and I loving each other was secondary to his wealth" I say.

My mother sighs, "I didn't want you faced with what I had to" she says evasively

I stare at her questioningly. She steps closer and lowers her voice significantly.

"When your grandfather died and I realised that there was no money for my mother's care, I did some things which weren't totally legal to get the funds to keep my mother at the nursing home she was at, and a continuity of her care, I was lucky George came along when he did, as things were getting quite desperate once again by that point, I'm not proud of what I did, and... and this is strictly between you and me as if anyone ever found out your father could lose his job, but your father helped me cover up what I did out of desperation - I didn't want you to be faced with that sort of situation in the event of my death, I wanted you to marry well, so should anything have happened to me, my mother's care wouldn't be a financial drain on you and you wouldn't be faced with the worries I had, I may not have gone about it the right way but I did what I felt was best" she says.

I listen to her words and it hits me, in her own way she was just trying to protect me, I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her and we stand in silence in the unspoken acknowledgement of everything that has been said.

**oooOOOooo**

The next morning it's early and we are the only ones up when Gideon joins me in the kitchen, as I grab a glass of water he is wearing just a pair of pyjama bottoms and he presses a kiss to my head.

"Good morning Angel," he says, his voice is raspier than usual and he still looks a little sleepy.

"Good morning, did you sleep well?" I ask.

He nods, "I did, and before you ask, I didn't have a nightmare," he says

I beam at him and wrap my arms around him, "and that is brilliant news" I say encouragingly and I press a kiss to his hard bare chest.

"I wondered where you were, I went to your room and you weren't there," he says quietly as he holds me in his arms.

"I was thirsty," I say holding up my glass of water.

"So I see," he says.

"Do you want a drink?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "No, I'm not thirsty, I am however, feeling quite horny" he whispers in my ear.

I grin at him and brazenly I reach down between us and find him hard and ready, he shamelessly thrusts himself into my hand. That is all the encouragement I need and I grab his hand and lead him to my bedroom.

"We need to be quiet," I say as I kick the door shut.

"I can try" he murmurs, he sounds distracted as he is too busy undressing me to concentrate on what I am saying to him.

"Gideon, I mean it, the walls are thin and I really don't want my mom and dad hearing us," I say as I try to hold on to my own self-control which is rapidly dissolving.

He pauses, "alright," he says and then his attention returns to pleasuring my body which if I'm honest, I am happy for him to do.

With very little effort we are soon both in a tangled naked heap on the bed.

"I need you, I need to be inside you" Gideon whispers to me as his hands roam all over me.

He lowers himself so his head is between my legs and I groan as I feel his mouth on me and his hair brushing against my thighs. His hands roam restlessly over my body and then curve under my ass, kneading and urging me closer, his tongue is dancing around my clit making me squirm in pleasure and then he thrusts it inside me and I gasp loudly.

"Gideon" I hiss as my hips move unconsciously to his searching, probing tongue. He sucks on my clit and I feel my inside tightening as the orgasm starts to build inside me, my hands which are in his hair, ball into fists as he continues to eat me.

"Oh god Gideon" I hiss desperately trying to keep quiet and then the orgasm hits me with a fiery burst all I can do is let the scorching wave wash over me, Gideon pulls away and he wipes his mouth on my thigh before he moves and hovers over me, reaching down he takes himself in hand and he guides himself towards me and so achingly gently pushes himself into me. As the head of his penis enters me I hear the familiar sigh of pleasure from him as my body accepts him and draws him in.

"Ok?" he asks, he is practically panting with need as I moan and all I can manage is a nod as he inches his way in, circling his hips and giving me every bit of him.

"Eva, answer me," he pants.

"I'm fine, more than fine" I gasp back and with that he starts to move, circling his hips and rhythmically thrusting in and out, he starts out slowly and gently but as his own pleasure consumes him, his pace increases and his breath starts coming out in grunts as he chases his release.

I grab his ass and wrapping my legs tightly around his hips I urge him deeper and carefully he lifts me up so he isn't pressing his weight on me.

"Squeeze me, Eva, milk my dick" Gideon gasps as I start to feel him lengthen and swell inside me, I can feel my muscles tighten around him and I tense them and as I do so I hear him moan.

"Oh god Angel, that's right, so good, just like that, so fucking tight, milk me" he mumbles.

He is thrusting mindlessly now, I meet him thrust for thrust and then suddenly I feel him tense, he stills he is motionless apart from his dick twitching and jerking furiously inside me and then I hear the long drawn out sound coming from him as he finds his release, he is trying so hard not to cry out that he buries his head in my neck to muffle any sound he makes and I feel him spurting inside me, the wet scorching heat of him coming long and hard inside me, filling me as he empties himself.

As he moves to pull out of me, I feel something, I put my hand on my bump and Gideon notices and he stiffens, a look of panic appearing on his face.

"Eva, what is it?" he asks staring at me, the fear consuming him.

"Give me your hand, quickly," I say and he obeys without question and I press it to the side of my bump and as I do so our son obligingly moves and kicks against it and I look up at Gideon who is now staring at my stomach in shock, his eyes wide.

"Is that... is... is that the baby moving, is that my son moving that I can feel?" he asks the wonder of what he is feeling evident in his voice.

I nod, "I've felt small movements for a couple of weeks inside but that's the first time I've felt any real movement against my hand," I say.

Gideon immediately moves and presses his lips to my bump "Hello son, you lie still now" he says as he caresses my bump with his hands.

Our son moves again and I watch as joy and paternal pride appear in Gideon's eyes and a huge smile fills his face.

After cleaning ourselves up and showering, we get dressed and head out to the kitchen, my dad is ready for work and my mom has cooked him some breakfast.

"Good morning, would you both like some pancakes?" she asks pointing at the stove and I nod enthusiastically.

"Mmm, yes please mom," I say, as I take a seat at the table, Gideon goes over and looks at the pancakes cooking and licks his lips.

"They smell delicious Monica I would love some," he says as he reaches for the coffee and a mug. Then he turns towards me.

"Tea, Angel?" he asks.

"Yes please," I say and Gideon turns towards my mother questioningly.

"Do you have any tea, Monica? Since Eva became pregnant she has been unable to drink coffee without feeling ill so she has taken to drinking tea in a morning" he explains.

My mom points to the cupboard and Gideon looks and then reaching inside he retrieves a box of teabags.

He joins me a few moments later offering me the mug of steaming tea.

"I won't be able to join you when you go to visit your grandmother, I'm afraid, as I am on duty," my dad says carefully.

I nod accepting that without question, I hadn't expected him to accompany us. "That's fine I'm sure Angus will be ok taking us all," I say looking at Gideon for confirmation of that and he nods once in agreement.

After my dad finishes his breakfast he gets up to leave for work, he kisses my mom tenderly and then says goodbye to us.

I pause and placing my fork on my plate I leave my breakfast and stand and hug my father tightly, "Bye daddy, stay safe," I say.

"Always" he replies and with that he leaves.

Gideon and I finish our breakfast and after loading the dishwasher we get ready to go to meet my grandmother.

As we leave the house I feel nervous, I'm not sure why exactly, but Gideon can sense my anxiousness and he wraps his arm around me and kisses my head reassuringly. I look up and he gives me a little squeeze. I see Angus pull up at the kerb and wonder where he spent the night.

"Where is Angus staying?" I ask.

"He has a room at one of my hotels," Gideon says dismissively.

Angus climbs out of the rented SUV and smiles at us all and touches his cap in greeting.

"Good morning Mr Cross, Mrs Cross, Mrs Stanton," he says politely.

I beam at him, "Good morning Angus, how are you this morning?" I ask.

"I'm very well Mrs Cross," he says, and it makes me smile how polite and formal he is being.

He holds open the door for us and my mom climbs in the passenger seat in the front, and thanks him and then Gideon and I climb into the back. My mom gives Angus the address and she starts to give directions to get there and Angus smiles at her.

"That's fine Mrs Stanton I can put in the address here and I will find my way," he says.

I grip Gideon's hand tightly and place my other hand on my bump.

**(GIDEON)**

We arrive at the nursing home where Monica's mother is a resident and I look around, I'd had the place thoroughly checked out before I had taken over financial responsibility for her care and I was pleased to establish that it is one of the best facilities in California, the staff are some of the best in the country and after sending someone to look around for me I was told that the place couldn't be faulted. As I take in my surroundings I can see that was no idle remark, first impressions are good as it is clean, and welcoming.

"Hello, can I help you?" a young girl says as we walk up to the desk.

"Yes, we are here to see my mother, Monica Tramell," Monica says.

The girl smiles and gestures towards a book where we need to sign in. We quickly do so and recognition of my name makes the girls eyes widen slightly and she looks up at me, the realisation of who I am filling her face.

"Ok thank you for that" she stammers and we are soon on our way.

As we arrive at Monica's room a doctor is coming out and he looks at us and smiles widely. "Monica how lovely to see you, your mother is very well today she has been telling me that you were coming to see her, and that she was meeting her granddaughter today," he says amiably.

He looks towards me and holds out his hand, "Good morning Mr Cross it's good to finally meet you in person, I am Dr Richardson, and I was the doctor who you spoke with when you took over the financial care of Mrs Tramell" he says.

I accept the handshake and nod in response to his greeting.

"If you'll excuse me I'll let you go and visit with Mrs Tramell," he says and with that, he turns and leaves.

Monica is opening the door and speaking quietly. "Hi mom," she says and she steps into the room

"Monny, you're here!" a sweet voice replies, I look towards it and see a woman in a wheelchair, smiling widely.

"Mom, this is my daughter Eva and her husband Gideon," Monica says.

The woman looks towards us and tears roll down her cheeks, "Oh Eva, honey the last time I saw you, you were a little itty bitty girl and now look at you, all grown up and married and Monny tells me you are starting a little family of your own."

I watch as Eva leaves my side and goes to the woman and sitting beside her she wraps her arm around her and hugs her tightly.

"I never knew you existed until a few weeks ago," Eva says.

"I know honey, we thought it was for the best, please forgive us," the woman says.

I have noticed that she can't move her arms and they are withered and frail looking, but she can breathe unaided, I wasn't sure what to expect when we came here today, as I had been told she was a quadriplegic. She looks well cared for and she is nicely dressed and the room is quite pleasant. My thoughts are interrupted by the woman addressing me.

"Come over here young man and let me have a good look at you" she demands in a firm voice which surprises me.

I smile at the command and stepping closer I crouch down in front of the woman. "I'm honoured to meet you," I say politely as I carefully take her frail hands in mine.

Monica senior smiles "well aren't you the charmer, and handsome to boot" she turns to Eva, "You chose well my girl," she says.

Eva reaches for me and squeezes my arm, "Oh you don't need to tell me that, I know very well just how well I chose – Gideon is one of a kind," she says and the loving looks she sends me makes my heart stutter.

"So tell me Eva, when is your baby going to be born?" she asks.

Eva smiles, "I'm due in March and we've recently found out that we are having a little boy" she says, "but before that we are having a vow renewal in December and I'd like you to attend if it's possible" Eva looks towards me, "Would it be possible?" she asks.

I shrug, "anything is possible, we'll talk to the doctors and see what we can arrange," I say.

Monica senior's face lights up at that, "Oh I would love that, I have never been to New York and I have always wanted to go there," she says.

I snort with laughter, "It isn't that great I assure you" I say, "but if you want to come I will do my very best to make sure you get there".

**oooOOOooo**

We spend large portion of the day with Monica Trammell senior and I have to say I am enchanted by this brave woman, and when it finally comes time to leave I am sad and reluctant to go.

I watch as Eva and her mother say their goodbyes and then as they move away I crouch down at the side of the wheelchair.

"It has been a pleasure meeting you" I say quietly and she looks at me with shrewd intelligent eyes.

"Thank you for what you have done" she says quietly to me.

I dismiss her words but she quickly scolds me.

"No Gideon, it is not nothing, what you did, I have felt so guilty all these years knowing that because of what Gordon did, Monny was unable to live the life she wanted or deserved, with the man she wanted, and then when Eva… she was just a child… it was…" she stops and I see a tear trickle down her cheek.

I pull out a handkerchief and gently wipe away the tears, "Stop, stop right now, I won't have this day spoilt with talk of the past, the past is gone, there is nothing we can do about it now, so there is no point in dwelling on it, look forward to the future, you have your trip to New York to look forward to and the birth of your first great grandchild so everything is good" I say with a grin.

Monica smiles at me, "You are very wise for someone so young" she says.

"I do my best" I say with a wicked grin and I rise to my feet.

Monica laughs and I lean down and place a small kiss on her cheek.

"Well, I'll say goodbye then Nana" I pause and look at Monica carefully.

I hadn't meant to say that, but it felt so natural and the right thing to say at the time, but now I am concerned I have done something wrong, Monica looks a little stunned and I quickly open my mouth to apologise, but she quickly halts me by speaking first.

"Goodbye Gideon but for the record… I prefer grandma" she says.

I can't help the huge smile that fills my face, "Alright… grandma."


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

_Three months later..._

We are waiting at a cold airport in the early morning as one of my planes taxis to a halt. I have my arm wrapped securely around Eva as it is so cold. The doors open and the special lift is set in place to help Monica senior disembark from the plane. We watch as it slowly lowers her to the ground and with her is a nurse and a doctor who I engaged to accompany her on this trip, and then the steps are slid into place and Monica and Victor leave the plane.

Eva leaves my side and goes to greet her grandmother, who is bundled up in her wheelchair against the biting cold. It was fairly straightforward getting her here, but I suppose with the money and resources I have, anything is straightforward, as I have found over the years money gives you power and opens doors which would otherwise remain closed, but it wasn't until I met Eva that I knew what true happiness was.

They have all flown in from California for our vow renewal but I have arranged for Monica senior to have the trip of a lifetime while she is in New York, she has always wanted to see New York and never been able to get here so while she is here I have arranged for her to see everything that there is to see, I have organised a visit go to the top of the Empire State building and see all the tourist-related places, we are going to give her the time of her life, culminating in our vow renewal.

I look at my wife, and I recall our wedding on the beach in the Caribbean it was perfect, just what I needed at that point, but I now realise that family are important and I do feel an odd element of regret for marrying Eva without the people she loves surrounding her.

My family will be present as well, that is something which I would never have imagined happening. Yes, they would have come, but before they would have just been there out of duty for appearance's sake, going through the motions, but now they will be there because they want to be. I appreciate the fact that my mother and Chris will be coming, as they still have a lot of issues to work through, but they are putting their differences aside for me, and showing a united front – for me.

Christopher is also coming, he and I are slowly working out our lifetime of issues, he comes with me to my therapy sessions with Dr Petersen at times and I join him with his on occasions and we are slowly coming to terms with all the years we have lost, through Hugh and Lucas's lies.

I see Eva greet her parents and Victor steps forward his hand outstretched towards me.

"Hello, Victor, did you have a good flight?" I ask politely as I accept his handshake.

"Excellent, they really looked after us well and we all managed to get a good night's sleep on the flight," Victor replies.

Monica comes towards me and I kiss her cheek in greeting, "Good morning Monica" I say.

"Hello Gideon, how are you?" she asks.

"I'm very well, thank you," I reply, I am quite surprised by Monica she looks a totally different woman now.

I can't help but see the difference in her, she radiates happiness and there is no sign of the handkerchief in her hands now which always previously signified her anxiety. I always thought she was stronger than she let on but the extent of her strength was overwhelming.

I crouch down and greet Monica senior, I have grown to love this old lady dearly in the short time I have known her, and she has quickly become a surrogate grandmother to me, and I have flown out to San Diego numerous times, just to go and see her, and I gave her a laptop and showed her how to use Skype so she could video chat with myself and Eva, which she now does regularly, with the help of the staff at the nursing home.

Like Eva, she doesn't mince her words and says exactly what she thinks, and with her age, she seems to have lost a tact filter but I think all the years of being under Gordon Tramell's control and influence has left her now determined not be let anyone else ever have that sort of control over her again.

"Hello grandma it's good to see you again," I say fondly and I press a kiss to her cheek, "Let's get you off this cold tarmac," I add as I rise and moving behind her I grab the wheelchair.

She looks up at me "Come here where I can see you properly Gideon, I need to ask you something," she says and I immediately move back around to the front of the chair.

I crouch once more in front of her, "What's up?" I ask as I try and hide my amusement.

"Are you still going to take me to the Empire State building?" she asks, her eyes shining with excitement.

I nod, "I am, later on today, I know that is where you particularly want to go, so that is our first stop, but while you are here I promise you that I am going to show you everything New York has to offer," I say.

"Will you take me to see the building you own?" she asks.

I grin "Which one? You know that I own quite a few," I know she means the Crossfire but I am teasing her.

"Don't get smart with me, you know that I mean the Crossfire," she says.

I throw my head back and laugh, "Of course I will, I have a packed itinerary for you while you are here, I promise you, that you will see everything. I turn towards Angus who steps forward with a box and hands it to me and I show it to her.

"And in here is a video camera, so I will make sure you have a permanent record of your time here, everywhere you visit will be recorded on this so you can watch it on your laptop when you get home," I say.

I watch as her eyes moisten with tears and she stares at the box.

"Thank you," she says.

"No problem" I reply and I hand the box back to Angus.

What she doesn't realise is, that what I just showed her was an empty box, as someone is videoing her arrival, and I had also arranged for a camera to be placed in the plane so she will get footage of the plane landing in New York from the cockpit as well.

"I'm taking you to the apartment I have arranged for you while you are here," I say and Victor and Monica both nod in agreement.

I kept the Upper West Side apartment which I took on to be close to Eva when Nathan was in New York, I couldn't bring myself to relinquish it so I took over the lease in my own name and I have had it furnished and set up for Monica and Victor to use when they visit New York. I hope it's not too weird for Monica, after all Richard Stanton paid for the apartment next door to it for Eva.

Eva looks at me as soon as the elevator doors open as she recognises where we are, I try and ignore her and unlock the door.

"Here we are," I say brightly, I show them in and Victor looks a little overwhelmed by the place, even though I had tried to keep the furnishings as simple as possible.

"Wow," he says, and then he pauses, and looks at Eva, "Isn't this the building you used to live in with Cary?" he asks.

Eva nods, "it is, actually I lived in the apartment next door," she says and then she smiles, "this apartment was owned by the guy who lent me his car to fetch you from the airport that time you visited," she glances at me, "he must have moved out," she adds.

Victor nods and I have to turn away to stop the smirk I am trying to hide, being seen.

Monica senior is shown to her room which I have made sure is set up for all her medical needs and the medical staff are using the third bedroom and the joining sitting room which I have had turned into a fourth bedroom.

"Alright then, we'll get going now, and let you get settled in, and then we'll be back later to take you on your tour of New York," I say.

Monica walks over to me and hugs me tightly, "Thank you for everything you've done," she says quietly.

"It's nothing" I respond dismissively.

She shakes her head, "No Gideon, it's not nothing, you are a good man" I swallow hard at her praise which I still find difficult to accept.

**oooOOOooo**

**(EVA)**

I open my eyes, and the happy memories of the past week fill my head, the memories of my grandmothers face when Gideon and I took her to the top of the Empire State Building, when he hired a private boat to take her out to see the Statue of Liberty and we got a private guided tour and when he took her in a carriage around Central Park will stay with me, my grandmother had loved Central Park and Gideon had promised that in the summer when she comes to visit he will arrange a picnic for her in the park.

Gideon had made sure she had seen everything that there was to see, and she said over and over that she had had the time of her life. But I think the biggest thrill for her was when Gideon had surprised her with a helicopter ride, he had arranged a private flight for her to see the city from above, she had been totally overwhelmed by that, and the excitement had been palpable that day when Gideon had carefully lifted her into the helicopter, I had taken lots of photographs that day as I too had thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

My husband had gone above and beyond anything, I had expected him to do. He had made sure my grandmother had, had the time of her life, and everything has been carefully documented, I'm not sure what my grandmother will be expecting but Gideon has made sure everything she has done has been recorded and not just by the one video camera my grandmother knew about, he had arranged a professional film crew to discreetly document everything, so when she returns to San Diego she will have a full-blown movie to watch to remember her time here.

I pull myself together as today is my day, well it's our day... again, today is our vow renewal and as we had arranged, it is being held at one of the many hotels Gideon owns, the hotel has done us proud, and taken care of everything. We have had input and been involved in the arrangements giving our preferences, but it has been pretty much left to the hotel to do as they pleased, and because it is the wedding of the boss they have gone all out to impress.

I am drawn from my thoughts by a knock on the door.

"Hey baby girl, you've got to get up, you are running 5 minutes behind schedule," Cary calls and then he pokes his head in and he grins at me.

I had spent the night at the Upper West Side apartment, as I had told Gideon I wanted the full traditional wedding experience, which meant I didn't see him before the ceremony. That hadn't gone down too well but he had come around to my way of thinking... eventually.

"Is she really that bad?" I ask, knowing Cary is referring to my mother, who I can hear is organising everyone in the other room.

"Worse" he states with a shake of his head.

"I can't face that, not yet" I moan and I pull the quilt over my head.

Cary produces a mug of steaming tea, "Hey, you've been hiding here long enough, I left you as long as I could, but now you can take your share of the madness, but I brought this for you to help you," he says as he removes the quilt and offers me the mug.

I take it gratefully, "coffee would have been better," I say wistfully, I miss my morning caffeine hit.

Cary snorts, "Three more months' baby girl and then you can drink all the coffee you want to, and with the sleepless nights you'll be having then, you'll need it".

My phone buzzes and I reach for it and smile as I see a text from Gideon. He is getting ready at the Penthouse and is leaving from there.

_**Are you ready to marry me again?**_

I quickly text back a reply.

_**You are disturbing me while I am drinking my tea.**_

The response is instant.

_**Are you only just getting up, I have been up for hours?! **_

I think a moment and then text back a suitably sarcastic reply.

_**I obviously need more beauty sleep than you do! x**_

His response is almost instant again.

_**NEVER! You are the most beautiful woman in the world and today you are going to make me the world's happiest man, again.**_

I smile as I read his text, and I quickly send him something to think about.

_**You are so getting laid tonight!**_

My phone rings and I answer it with a smile.

"Hi Ace," I say warmly.

"You do realise that you have made me hard" he replies.

I snort with laughter, "I thought we had long since established that you are always hard" I say.

I watch Cary's look of horror as he hears that, and then he turns and he leaves the room with his hands over his ears.

I hear Gideon laugh and it returns my attention back to my husband.

"Gideon?" I ask.

"Yes," he replies.

"Are you looking forward to today?" I ask.

There is a brief pause, "I am Angel, I have had the wedding I wanted, but today is special in its own right," he says.

"And I get to tell everyone exactly what you mean to me," I say, "so I'll see you in a while and we will do this thing?" I ask.

"Well how can I refuse when you ask me like that!" he says, and I can picture him smiling as he says that.

"I'll meet you there then, you won't be able to miss me I will be the one looking like a whale in a white dress," I say.

"You will not look like a whale, you will be my Angel in white, I like you in white, you will be beautiful and sexy," Gideon says seductively.

I snort, "Hardly, I'm six months pregnant Gideon, and I'm telling you, I'm fat and I look like a whale," I say.

"Shut up Eva," Gideon says sharply "You are not fat, you are pregnant, you are carrying my child and that makes you beautiful and extremely sexy," he says in a softer tone, and the love in his voice evident.

"Ok, whatever!" I say dismissively.

"I can't wait" he replies.

"See you later then Ace," I say.

"I'll see you later, I love you Angel – Crossfire!" he says.

I grin, and my heart lurches as it always does when he tells me he loves me.

"I love you too," I say my voice hoarse with the emotion I am feeling then I hang up.

I take a deep breath, gulp down my tea and brace myself before I go out to face my mother and the preparation madness.

The next couple of hours are a complete blur of activity, a team of beauticians come and do their thing and everyone is telling me I look beautiful, and that I am hardly showing, and nobody would believe I was six months pregnant, I know they are all only trying to make me feel better as my now pronounced little bump is totally obvious.

Admittedly, the dress I have picked disguises it well and I don't look obviously pregnant when I am wearing it, but it doesn't stop the negative thoughts of being huge keep popping in my head.

Magdalene and Ireland both look stunning in their dresses, and that sets off all my insecurities even more, they are both so tall and skinny and then there is me, short and at the moment... fat.

"Are you ok Eva?" Ireland asks me as I am having a quiet private breakdown.

I nod, "do I look ok?" I ask her and she smiles at me.

"Eva, you look stunning, and if you say you are fat or a whale once more, pregnant or not I am going to slap you!" she says, that makes me smile and realise what a pain I am being.

"Sorry, I just want to look nice for Gideon," I say lamely.

Magdalene hears this and comes up and wraps her arm around me.

"Eva, that man adores you, he sees nobody other than you, so you could renew your vows dressed in sack and he wouldn't care, he loves you, and you love him, you are carrying his baby, and before you say anything, you really can't tell, I was shocked when I realised you were six months pregnant, as you really don't look it and I'm not just saying that to pacify you, I mean it" she pauses, and pulls me to one side.

"It makes me so happy to see you and Gideon together, you are good for him, and you make him happy, and since he met you have never seen him happier than he is now, in his entire life, he has changed since he met you, astonishingly so, and that is all I ever wanted for him, because he deserves it," she says.

I smile and nod, "Thank you," I say sincerely.

My attention is drawn to Cary who is striding towards me purposefully.

"Ok, I'm going then, someone has just arrived to fetch me," he says as he comes up to me and hugs me tightly, he is a groomsman so is leaving now to meet up with Gideon and Angus.

I return the hug, "thanks, Cary" I say as he squeezes me and whispers in my ear.

"Remember how I told you I just 'accepted' what you did, when you told me you had married Cross, that I wasn't capable of anything more?" he says.

I pull away and nod, wondering what is coming next. But Cary gives me one of his huge million dollar smiles and any anxiety I was feeling at that moment melts away.

"Well, I guess you've proved me wrong baby girl, and now I couldn't be happier for you," he says.

Tears fill my eyes and I hug him fiercely, this is all I ever wanted from him, he is my closest and best friend in the world and to know he is now happy for me rather than just tolerating my decision to be with Gideon fills me with joy.

"I love you, Cary Taylor," I say.

"I love you too baby girl" he replies, "but I have to go and stop crying, I don't want your mom yelling at me for making you cry and ruining your makeup," he says with a grin.

I shove him and giggle as he leans down and kisses my cheek, "see you in a while" he says, and with that, he turns and leaves.

Slowly everyone else leaves, I watch as other members of Gideon's team arrive to take them to the hotel. My grandmother and my mom are the final ones to go and my grandmother calls me over just before they leave with Raul.

"Eva, I want you to have this," she says, and then she glances up at Raul, "Raul, it is Raul isn't it?" she asks and Raul nods stepping forward, "will you get the box out of my purse and give it to Eva for me please?" she asks.

Raul grins, and reaches for my grandmother's purse, everyone has fallen in love with my grandmother since she has been here, and he doesn't hesitate to comply.

"This one?" he asks her as he pulls it out.

She rolls her eyes, "Well you don't see any others in there do you?" she says sarcastically.

Raul chuckles and gives me the box. I take it from him unable to hide the amused smile at him being chastised by my grandmother.

I open the box and see a string of pearls, I gasp as I look at them.

"Gran," I say.

"Something old," she says, "my father worked three jobs to buy those for my mother for the day she married him, I wore them the day I married your grandfather, and your mom wore them too when she got married, so I want you to wear them, I know you are already married but it's close enough," she says.

I don't hesitate and take them from the box and put them on, "thank you, Gran, I'll take good care of them," I say.

"Here, let me help you," I turn and see my dad approaching, he takes the pearls and fastens them, and then he turns me around and looks at me, "you look, beautiful sweetheart, my little girl all grown up," he says.

"What else do you have?" my gran asks.

"What do you mean?" I say as I look at her questioningly.

She gives me an exasperated look, "Old, new, borrowed and blue, what are your others?" she says.

"Oh I see," I say understanding immediately, to be honest I hadn't really given it much thought. I quickly think.

"Erm... Old…"

I look at the ring Gideon gave me in the Caribbean, which belonged to his mother. His father gave her that so that qualifies as old.

"My ring which Gideon gave me, when he married me in the Caribbean, it belonged to his mother," I say. "New... my dress," I say as I smooth my hands over the front of the dress, "Borrowed, these beautiful pearls, thank you again Gran" I say, "and blue... I don't have anything blue?" I say with a shrug.

My mother steps forward and smiles at me, "yes you have, here," she says.

She hands me a small bag, I look inside and gasp. Inside is a gorgeous tiny pair of platinum stud earrings in the shape of a flower with a sapphire stone in the centre, which immediately remind me of Gideon's eyes.

"I saw them and I thought the blue flowers looked very pretty," she says.

I take them out of the box and then quickly taking out the earrings I had originally planned to wear, I slip them into my ears.

"Thanks, mom" I say.

I give my grandmother one last hug and she leaves with Raul and my mother, leaving me alone with my dad. I look at him as he is staring at me with unconcealed pride.

"So, will I do?" I ask as I hold out my arms and turn in a circle.

"You look stunning," he says.

I smile at him not believing a word of it, "thanks, dad" I say.

He walks up to me and enfolds me in his arms.

"You know, I was furious when you told me you had eloped, as I really didn't think he was good enough for you, plus it was so sudden, so soon, too soon, I was seriously worried you know, but you and he have proved me wrong, he is good for you, and you are good for him, I can see that now and I'm not ashamed to admit I was wrong about him," he says.

I feel a lump in my throat and swallow hard at hearing those words, as it means as much to me that he is at peace with my decision, as it was hearing Cary was now happy for me, and I return my dad's hug.

I pull away abruptly when I hear the intercom buzz, and I quickly answer, "Your car has arrived Mrs Cross".

"Thanks," I say and look at my dad, "Are we ready then?" I ask.

We head down in the elevator, and as the doors open, Paul the doorman stands there smiling widely and with him is Angus looking super smart in his tux.

I stare at Angus, "Shouldn't you be at the hotel with Gideon?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "He insisted I came to escort you to the hotel, as soon as we arrive there I will join him".

I nod and then take a deep breath, here goes. I get my phone and quickly text Gideon.

_**I am in the car and on my way, so you'd better be there!**_

His response is instant.

_**Ready and waiting Angel x**_

There are press outside the hotel when we arrive as I climb out of the car. But we ignore them and make our way inside.

Cary, Trey, Magdalene and Ireland are waiting for me, I turn to Cary and give him another hug.

"Ready then baby girl, go get your man!" he says and plants a kiss on my forehead.

I hold him tightly, "Cary," I say earnestly, he looks at me questioningly, "Thank you," I say.

"Always here for you, you know that," he says, "Now come on or he is going to be thinking you've changed your mind."

I laugh, "It's too late to change my mind, I'm already married to him," I say.

I watch as Angus falls into step with Cary and they leave to go and be with Gideon.

A few moments later music starts and Magdalene and Ireland make their way to the front of the room, and then it's my turn, I slip my hand through the crook of my dad's arm and look up at him.

"Ready?" he asks and I nod and we walk through the doors, we haven't done this traditionally, but I don't care I just want to get to my husband, I catch sight of him waiting for me and he looks breathtaking.

I listen to the music that is playing, and it's something I immediately recognise, I told Gideon to pick whatever he wanted for me to walk down the aisle to. I listen to the words and I realise he has picked something very personal to us, and as I listen to it my mind goes straight back to that night at the karaoke club as I hear the song, its Diamond Ring by Bon Jovi. I listen carefully to the words again, remembering Gideon singing them to me as I walk towards my husband.

It was the obvious choice really. As I walk toward Gideon those striking blue eyes of his are fixed on me and I see him discreetly adjust himself and I smile.

"Gideon," I say when I reach him.

He lifts the veil back and stares at me, "Angel mine" he whispers and the next thing his lips are on mine.

He grins at me as he pulls away, "We haven't reached that part yet," I say slightly breathlessly.

He snorts derisively, "You are already my wife, so if I want to kiss you I will do so," he retorts arrogantly and I can't help but smile at that – or argue with it.

When the time comes for Gideon gets to say his vows, I listen carefully as we are saying different ones to the generic ones we said on the beach in the Caribbean, I had said I wanted to say something personal this time as I hadn't had the chance to prepare before, and he had agreed. I see him open up the folded piece of paper with trembling hands and begin to speak in a clear voice.

"Eva, I will never forget the day, my life irrevocably changed forever, that day was the day I first laid eyes on you, I was in my car, when you appeared outside on the sidewalk in front of the Crossfire, you looked up at the building and went inside, and from that moment you owned me, I had to know who you were, I had to find you so I got out or my car and abandoned all thoughts of business and followed you back inside…"

He pauses and he reaches for me grasping my hand tightly as he continues to read.

"…You were helping some woman and when I crouched down and looked at you, and you fell backwards on your ass," I roll my eyes, and then glare at him, does he really have to remind me and broadcast that embarrassing moment?

A small ripple of laughter fills the room at that part and I feel my cheeks flush. I shake my head and I see a small smile pull at his lips.

"The moment our eyes locked I knew you had seen inside me, you had seen the real me and from that moment you owned my every thought, so I promise you that I will love you completely with every fibre of my being until the day we both die, there is no-one on this earth who could ever come close to you, so I swear to you that I will always be faithful to you and only to you, always and forever. I will protect you with my own life from anyone or anything that wants to hurt you, I will shield you from harm and it will be my honour, my duty and my privilege as your husband to support you and make all your dreams and ambitions come true."

He looks at me so sincerely and with such scorching love and desire that I feel my knees weaken, as he slips a beautiful engraved platinum ring on my finger in place beside the huge diamond ring he gave me in the summer.

"You do realise you just put my vows to shame," I whisper to him and I see his lips twitch with amusement once more.

I pull out my sheet of paper and start to read, "Gideon, you have made my life complete, you are my rock, my shield, my world, and I promise to love you unconditionally for all time, I promise to be your rock, your shield and your world in return, I will support you and stand by your side, proud to be your wife, and..." I pause and looking him directly in the eye, I grin at him.

"I also promise to stand there and just look pretty when the occasion calls for it", I watch as Gideon stifles a snort of laughter at that remark, "and I promise to always be there for you when you need me most and to give you what need, I promise to always believe in you, and whatever adversities we face through our life together we _will_ face them together, united as one."

I hear Gideon's sharp intake of breath at those words and I know he knows what I am talking about. I slip his ring on his finger, and before the official has pronounced us man and wife and told Gideon he can kiss me, Gideon, attacks my mouth and takes me in his arms kissing me passionately.

As he comes up for air, he mutters "my angel, my love, my wife."

The room erupts into applause, and I turn to see our close friends and family all beaming at us, my mom and grandmother are both discreetly weeping and even my dad has tears in his eyes.

The reception afterwards is wonderful, because there are so few guests it feels intimate and personal, the food is plentiful and delicious and the speeches are emotional. Gideon stands and thanks everyone for coming, it's a generic run of the mill type of grooms speech until he turns and looks at me, he touches my chin and urges my head up to look at him.

"Eva, thank you for loving me and for believing in me and for not giving up on me when I made such a mess of things when we first met, you have given me a life worth living and so much more, you are my world."

I feel tears building and I close my eyes. He bends down and kisses me gently before sitting down again to thundering applause.

Angus stands up next and begins to speak, "I have known Gideon since he was a wee lad, and I always knew in my heart that this day would eventually come where he would marry the love of his life, and although this day was actually back in the summer when he whisked that lass away in secret to marry her with no fuss or attention. I feel honoured that I was the only person privileged to witness that special and deeply private and personal occasion, but I am also honoured that Gideon asked me once again to stand as his best man today, as he publicly celebrates with you all and declares his love and renews his vows, even though they were different ones to what he said back then. I am so happy for him and for Eva, I had always hoped that he would one day find a woman who, not only, would capture his heart, but who would also be worthy of it, and I have no doubts at all that Eva is that woman. It does me good to see him so happy and contented as he is now, and I want to thank Eva for making that happen, so if you will all join me in a toast, To Gideon and Eva."

There is a chorus of "Gideon and Eva".

I take a sip of my non-alcoholic champagne and try not to grimace as it doesn't taste as good as the real thing.

The afternoon wears on, thousands of photographs are taken, the room is cleared and it is time for us to take the first dance, it occurs to me that we haven't picked a song to dance to, I look at Gideon and I see a smug look on his face and I lean towards him.

"I didn't pick anything, did you pick something?" I ask and he nods.

"Shall we?" he says simply, not letting on what he has picked. He holds out his hand to me and as I place mine in his, he grips me and pulls me close.

I walk on to the floor with him and he wraps his arms around me, and once again I hear Jon Bon Jovi's voice come over the sound system.

"Another Bon Jovi song?" I say with a grin.

Gideon shrugs, and then he leans closer and whispers in my ear, "I liked the lyrics and they seemed to be appropriate, just listen to the words Angel, it says everything, I want to say to you, and you will understand why I picked this song when you listen to it," he says.

I nod and pay attention to the song and I listen carefully to the lyrics. I swallow deeply, he wasn't kidding, I see Gideon watching me carefully waiting for my reaction and look up at him and try to pull myself together.

"Gotta love Bon Jovi," I say with a grin, as I fight to hold back the tears.

The rest of day is a huge success, and I enjoy every moment of it. Gideon watches me closely every time I dance with someone. I watch Gideon dance with my mother, and I dance with my dad and also share a dance with Chris. I get chance to talk to Dr Travis, I see him talking to Gideon and Dr Petersen who is also here, and I wander over.

"Eva, you look stunning" he says and places a small kiss on my cheek, I smile and thank him but before I can say anything else Cary wanders over and hugs Dr Travis, I watch him and smile, we all talk for a while and then I hear a song I like and I turn to Cary.

"Hey Fred, come on, it's your turn to make me look good on the dance floor," I say, I grip his hand, and turn to give Gideon a swift kiss on the cheek, he grins at me and watches me go.

Cary laughs and takes me in his arms "Come on then Ginger" he says and sweeps me around effortlessly around the floor, when we stop I feel a tap on my shoulder and Christopher is looking at me.

"Christopher! Hi, how are you?" I squeal and he hugs me.

"I'm good thanks" he says with a grin and then he looks me up and down, "You look gorgeous, Gideon is a very lucky man," he says I smile and thank him.

"Will you dance with me?" he asks and I immediately take his hand.

"I want to thank you," he says quietly as he leads me around the dance floor.

"What for?" I ask.

"For everything, for pushing and making Gideon face up to his past, for making my mother realise how wrong she was, for making me realise how wrong I was as well, and for getting everything out in the open and for making us all take a good hard look at our lives and realise what is important and helping us see through all the lies and bullshit which we were all mired in."

I stare at him a little take aback by that, "Hey, I just got the ball rolling, you guys took it and ran with it," I say.

Christopher smiles at me, "You are too modest, Gideon did good when he picked you" he says.

"And he is good for me too," I say firmly.

I dance with Trey next and he spends the dance telling me how happy he is for me and how grateful he is to me for what I have done for him and Cary. I shake my head, I did nothing there, I just got Cary to realise that Trey was good for him and Tat was not who he thought she was.

"You'll be the next ones doing this," I tease and Trey laughs.

"I think we will have a long engagement, we are going to marry after I graduate hopefully I have a job lined up after I graduate and if that all comes together then we will see about setting a date," he says.

I smile, "You are good for Cary, I'm glad you didn't give up on him," I say.

"I understand him better now, and I get why he is the way he is, and whilst I don't put up with his bullshit I also now know when to make allowances," he says.

"And that is what he needs," I say.

The song comes to an end and I hear my name called.

"EVA!" I turn and see Shawna, Mark and Steven approaching, all looking happy, I hug them all and thank them for coming.

"You look stunning," Steven says as he kisses my cheek, I thank him.

"When are you guy's going to do it then?" I ask.

"March" Steven replies decisively.

My eyebrows rise dramatically, "Really? You've set the date?" I ask.

Mark nods, "we have, since our move to Cross Industries it has enabled us to accelerate the timeline significantly and we decided on March, you and Gideon will come won't you?" he asks.

I nod, "Wouldn't miss it," I say, but I wonder if I might have to do just that as depending on when in March the wedding is, it will be either shortly before or after I give birth. My due date isn't publicly known and we had fudged the issue when asked, saying in the spring whenever we had been asked.

I feel a warm strong arm around me and I look up into my husband's face. Mark holds out his hand to Gideon and offers his congratulations and Steven does the same. Shawna hugs me once more and then much to Gideon's surprise hugs him as well.

"Mark and Steven have set the date for their wedding," I say.

"Really?" Gideon replies.

I nod, "Yeah, March," I say,

Before he can respond, I add "I've said we wouldn't miss it for the world," and Gideon smiles and nods.

"Absolutely," he says.

Eventually, it is time to leave, we say our goodbyes to our family and my grandmother tells us how happy she is for us and she also tells us once more how much she has enjoyed her visit to New York. Gideon kisses my mother's cheek, I get a hug from Elizabeth. My dad holds me tightly and kisses me gently on the forehead and then he turns to Gideon and shakes his hand.

"You've grown on me, I'm much happier now than I was back when you did this the first time, but same rules apply, you take care of her or else," he says, and Gideon nods proudly.

"I will Victor," he says firmly.

"Dad!" I say and I shove him.

My dad doesn't get chance to respond as Ireland comes over and hugs me and then Gideon, "Where are you staying tonight?" she asks.

I glance up at Gideon, I want to know this as he hasn't let on what his plans are when we leave here.

"We are spending the night in the bridal suite here and then tomorrow morning... early, we are flying to Europe and spending our honeymoon and Christmas there," he says.

"Ooh that sounds lovely," Ireland says as my jaw drops the floor, "I hope you have a wonderful time" she adds and hugs me again. "Have a good time bro," she says to Gideon and wraps her arms around his waist, he hugs her and thanks her.

"Are we ready then Mrs Cross?" Gideon says with a smirk.

I take his hand and nod. "I am Mr Cross," I say.

I go to a room set aside for us and I change into my going away outfit. Which when I think about it is a bit ridiculous as we aren't actually leaving the hotel, now that I have heard what the plan is. Gideon didn't come in as both he and I know we would never have left the room if he had.

I come out and Gideon is leaning against the wall waiting for me.

"You look beautiful Eva" he says as he takes in my fitted red dress which unlike the wedding dress accentuates my pregnant belly, he runs a finger down the front of it.

"Red" he whispers and then his hand lingers protectively on my bump.

"Our colour," I say and I cover his hand with mine and touch the ring I bought him.

He hands me my bouquet and we head out. As I am quite small, I grasp a chair and Gideon steadies me as I climb up on it he is worried I am going to fall and he hovers around me as I stand with my back to the small crowd, I throw my bouquet back over my shoulder and I hear a squeal of delight, I turn and see Shawna gripping it tightly. I smile at her and she gives me two thumbs up which makes me laugh.

Gideon helps me down and we make our way to the elevator which will take us up to the bridal suite, I look at Gideon and grip his hand tightly.

"Are you happy?" I ask.

"More than I have ever been in my life," he says sincerely, "What about you, are you happy?" he asks warily, and I see a flash of vulnerability in his eyes.

"Oh god yes," I reply and wrap my arms around him.

The elevator doors open and Gideon leads us to the Bridal Suite. I see a pile of greetings cards and messages on the bed as well as our suitcases which are neatly lined up inside the door. I look at the cards and messages on the bed, and I go and retrieve them.

Gideon watches me as I read through them, a lot are from people Gideon knows and who I have never heard of, I hand them to him to look at. I open one card and freeze, I slam the card shut.

"What is it?" Gideon says he takes the card from me and reads it, he scowls and rips it up and throws it in the trash.

"How did she manage to send that? I thought she was in jail awaiting the trial?" I say.

Gideon nods, "I know, don't worry about it but I'll let Arash know," he says.

"Thank you," I say.

I pick up another, "oh for fucks sake" I exclaim and I hand it to Gideon.

It's from Deanna, we hadn't expected that. We haven't heard from her since that day I had made the deal with her, so far she has kept to her side of the bargain and not published anything about Gideon, and I realise she is probably just trying to be nice but it was still a shock to see it. Gideon grins and puts it down.

"Unexpected," he says and I nod in agreement.

I laugh and continue looking through the cards, I stop and freeze when I see another from an unexpected person, I hand it to Gideon, "It's from Brett" I say.

I watch as Gideon takes it from me and reads it, it is an apology and wishing us every happiness, he looks at me questioningly.

"Do you want to keep it Angel?" he asks I think about it for a moment and shake my head, Brett is part of my past and while I believe his motives were probably genuine when he sent it I don't want to open that door again.

Gideon nods and tears it in half throwing it into the bin along with the one from Corinne.

"So what's the plan?" I ask changing the subject.

"So, the plan is we head out first thing tomorrow to the airport and fly to Europe we are spending a couple of days in London. Then we are flying north, to Edinburgh and Angus is going to show us a little of the delights of Scotland, then we fly to Paris where we will spend a week there, on to Rome for a week which will take us up to Christmas and then I thought we could spend Christmas in the Alps" he looks at me questioningly.

I nod enthusiastically I can't believe he has planned all this.

"Then, before we head home to New York I want to take you north to Norway for a couple of days to the arctic circle and try and see the northern lights," he says.

I gape at him, "you are spoiling me" I say.

He leans down and kisses me tenderly "You are worth it" he replies.

"God I love you," I say as I stare into those amazing blue eyes"

Gideon smirks at me, and after kissing me comprehensively once more leaving me gasping for breath he whispers a single word in my ear.

"Crossfire!" he says.

**Song: Diamond Ring &Thank You for Loving Me by Bon Jovi**


	32. Epilogue

**AUTHORS NOTE: Well this is it, the final instalment, I hope I have accomplished what I set out to do, and that was to answer the myriad of unanswered questions and give a different answer for the ones which were answered, but not as I felt they should have been. I took the decision to cut out the Ryan Landon character completely as I felt he was totally unnecessary and ultimately pointless, as there was plenty of story in the unanswered questions raised to that point without adding even more, but I did keep Arash and Manuel as I felt, like Arnoldo they were important background characters as Gideon's friends, after all, Eva had her circle of friends so Gideon should also have his.**

**I also tried to keep in mind what 'Captivated by You' and 'One With You' were supposed to be, (even though I condensed those two books down into one), and that was, primarily, Gideon's story, that is his journey, his freedom from his past and redemption, I also wanted to show that the public ruthless businessman was just a facade to hide the vulnerable broken side of him. I wanted to reveal that and show him slowly healing and putting that broken side back together. **

**We saw him fighting for and protecting Eva in the previous books, and I wanted to spin that and show her fighting for and protecting him in this one. My reason for this was because of something Sylvia Day said in an interview which I read, when the trilogy became a quintet. She said books 1 & 2 were Eva's story, book 3 was both and books 4 & 5 were Gideon's story and even though (in my opinion) it didn't work out that way in the end with all the unanswered points left over from the first three books and the fact a large portion of 'One With You' ended up being Monica's story! **

**Anyway, less of that, here it is, the final instalment – Enjoy!**

EPILOGUE

_Fifteen months later..._

**(EVA)**

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Zachary, happy birthday to you!"

The chorus comes to an end and our one-year-old son sits on his father's lap looking totally bewildered by all the fuss going on around him. As he sits there, his gaze focussed on the cake in front of him, the similarities between him and Gideon are striking, let's be honest here, he is Gideon's clone. Gideon even jokingly refers to Zachary as his 'mini me'.

There is no way on earth anyone could doubt for one moment, who that little boy's father is. Gideon's genes totally took over and dominated, there is nothing of me there at all, from the jet black hair, and the strikingly beautiful blue eyes and face shape he is his father's son, I believe he will be tall like his father too he is already much taller than average for a child of his age and already he has inherited many of Gideon's mannerisms.

Gideon points at the cake, "Blow out the candle buddy" he says, but Zac just looks up at him in confusion, before gazing at the cake once more and reaching out for the lit candle.

Gideon reacts and like lightening he pulls Zac's hand back and then he smiles, ruffles his hair and then leans over and blows out the single candle for him and everyone cheers and claps, this produces a huge smile on my sons face and he claps his hands enthusiastically.

The cake is quickly moved to be cut, and then gaudily wrapped presents are placed in front of Zac, and Gideon points at them and pulls them closer, encouraging him to open them, this part needs no real encouragement and Zac dives straight in and soon there is soon wrapping paper flying everywhere.

I watch as Gideon helps him to unwrap the presents, he is totally in his element. He is a wonderful father just as I knew he would be. He has come so far, two months ago we finally achieved our goal of sleeping the entire night together, it had been a monumental leap and although by that point in time Gideon had been nightmare free for well over a year, he was still worried and a little hesitant about taking that final step, but once he did we haven't looked back and while we know there is still a risk there, just as there is always the chance I will have a nightmare about what happened to me, we are taking each night as it comes, and I believe that each night we spend together heals Gideon a little more, but having said that, at his insistence, we have a series of safety measures in place should the worst ever happen and he still religiously takes the medication prescribed by Dr Petersen. I am so proud of him and for everything he has achieved, as he bears no resemblance now to the tightly reigned in, solitary man I first met.

I look around the room, the light is fading through the window of the Outer Banks house where we are celebrating Zac's 1st birthday, Gideon had insisted he wanted to come here, he wanted to take his son to the beach for his first ever birthday, we have spent a lot of time here before and since Zac was born, but Zac was and still is too young to appreciate it fully yet. I smile, Gideon had emphatically decided this is what we were doing, even though normally it really isn't warm enough yet, the average temperature for the end of March here is normally around the mid 60's but this year almost as if because Gideon had wished it so, it had happened, it has been unseasonably warm and sunny so he had managed to take our son down to the beach and built sand castles and played in the sand with him, he had looked nothing like the powerful and ruthless businessman he is and if I was to be totally honest I really I think Gideon got more of a kick out it than Zac did.

Then late this afternoon everyone came to help us celebrate Zac's birthday. My mom and dad are standing proudly watching, they are making the most of the fact they are now together as they always should have been and their love for each other is palpable, I turn my attention to Elizabeth and Chris, who are also here, but their story couldn't be more different, they had never gotten back together but are now friends, and after a lot of talking and intense therapy with Dr Petersen, the whole family is much closer now and doing much better, and Gideon's relationship with all of them is the best it's ever been. There are still underlying issues, which is only to be expected and accepted, but slowly they are being overcome one by one, and we all know it will take years to undo all the damage caused by Dr Lucas's lies and what Hugh did.

I glance at Gideon's siblings, Christopher is taking photographs and Ireland is busy cutting the birthday cake up. I look around at all the other guests, Angus is watching proceedings carefully from the corner, while he is here as a guest he is never fully off duty. Cary and Trey are chatting amiably with Mark and Steven, my heart swells at how happy and settled Cary is now, he is still modelling and has made quite the name for himself, and he is still the face of Survivors and never fails to help raise support for my foundation. Trey has now graduated and is working as a veterinarian and they have set a date for their wedding. I see Arnoldo wander over to Ireland and help with the cake, the cake he had made for our son. He is much warmer towards me now and I think he finally accepted that I wasn't going to hurt Gideon again. I see Gideon's attention shift to his sister and best friend, he is very protective of Ireland and she is still very young, but Arnoldo has been taking more than a passing interest in her recently and I wonder and not for the first time if anything is going on there.

"Gideon looks so content and happy," I turn towards the voice in my ear and smile.

"He does" I agree as I look at my husband once more.

"You are the best thing that ever happened to him and I still regret those awful things I said to you that first time we met," I turn in surprise and see the regret written clear in Magdalene's eyes.

"Don't Maggie, it's ancient history, forget it I have," I say kindly, Magdalene and I or Maggie as I now call her have become quite close, something I had never anticipated happening but it kind of crept up on us, our mutual love for Gideon has actually helped to strengthen our friendship as unlike other women who _claim_ to love Gideon, Maggie like me has only ever wanted what was best for him, and she is happy now with Gage who she has been with for a while, and I know they are discussing taking the next step as they recently got engaged.

I hear her giggle and look to see what has amused her, I see Gideon helping Zac unwrap a train set.

"Somehow, I think Gideon is going to get as much fun out of that as Zac is," I say as I watch my husband's enthusiasm.

"I was thinking much the same thing," Maggie agrees. She touches my arm and I turn to face her, all amusement has gone and she looks serious.

"Eva, I wanted to speak with you, I wasn't sure if I should mention it as it really isn't appropriate today, but Gage said... then Arash is also here and he..." she pauses and bites her lip."

"It's ok, just tell me," I say, anxiety starting to build.

"I received a letter the other day," she says, looking around and lowering her voice significantly.

I nod my head towards the kitchen and move towards it and Maggie follows me.

I close the kitchen door and turn to face her.

"From Corinne," Maggie says and my heart sinks, what the hell does she want?

My mind immediately flies back to the trial. It wasn't a pleasant experience, reliving the shooting and the aftermath, Corinne had continuously denied everything, she had tried to manipulate and disrupt proceedings with her play acting but Arash had systematically pulled apart the defence, proved her a liar and shown exactly what sort of person she was, and that she knew exactly what she was doing throughout. Thankfully the jury had also seen through her theatrics and believed him and now she is in jail and barred from having any contact with us but it seems that hasn't stopped her from trying.

"She said that she wants to see and talk to Gideon, she also said she wants to apologise, but I know she isn't allowed to contact you, but it seems she thinks it's ok to go through me, I really don't think she is genuine, and I think the that the timing of it is also significant it being so close to Zac's birthday when she wrote to me, Gage isn't happy about it at all and said I was not to get involved, but I said that you and Gideon should be made aware of what she is up to in case she approaches anyone else and so he said I should just pass on the letter and inform you of what she was doing but make it clear I wasn't doing it again".

She reaches into her purse and pulls out a letter in an envelope emblazoned with the address of the penitentiary on it.

"Gage is totally right, and Corinne should not have put you in that position, and I'm really sorry that she has," I say.

I look at the envelope she is offering me and I think quickly and hold up my hand, "hang on here a moment" I say and Magdalene nods and waits.

I step outside and after quickly looking around the room I spot and then grab Arash who is watching Gideon, and making sarcastic comments about boys and their toys, he follows me into the kitchen, and Maggie and I quickly outline what Corinne has done, Maggie hands him the letter and Arash quickly reads it and then pushes it into his pocket and tells us he will deal with it and he assures us that she won't bother us or anyone else again.

"Thank you," Maggie says gratefully and with that, we head back out to the party.

My mom comes over and gives me a hug "it's a lovely party" she says.

"Thanks, mom," I say.

After she had left Stanton he had kept his word and organised the divorce, she didn't contest it and took full responsibility for the breakup and as a result, it was concluded very quickly. But it is like she has blossomed since she has been with my father, like Gideon and I they were meant to be together. Sadly my grandmother died about six months ago but my mom and dad are now in the process of relocating back to New York to be closer to us. My dad has arranged a transfer to the NYPD and I'm certain Gideon helped in some way to facilitate that, but it will be good to have my mom and dad close by.

I hear Shawna's raucous laugh, and look towards my friend who is joking with and poking fun at her brother, Steven, who is also here with Mark. Shawna is now married to her boyfriend Doug and Doug works with Arnoldo at Tableau One, and the Italian is mentoring him and helping him in his pursuit of becoming a top chef. Mark and Steven are also laughing loudly at Shawna, Mark and I are still a formidable team at Cross Industries in the marketing department, Mark has been promoted twice since he joined the company and I as his assistant have also benefited from that promotion. Zac comes with me and he spends time in the company day-care facility, and he loves it there playing with the other kids. Mark and Steven married last year and have just celebrated their first wedding anniversary yesterday, and they are going strong. I remember their wedding distinctly as I had gone into labour at the reception and made quite a show of myself as my waters had broken, as I remember it, my mind goes back to that day...

_The reception is in full swing and I feel... uncomfortable, I have this ache in the bottom of my back it's been there on and off for most of the day but I have tried to ignore it. I discreetly try and rub my back to ease it. If I am honest I've had enough and want to go home, I look at my watch it's nearly 9 pm and I wonder if we could get away with leaving soon._

"_Are you ok Angel?" Gideon asks me anxiously, he has been watching me like a hawk I'm exceedingly close to my due date and every time I move he is panicking thinking this is it._

_"I'm fine" I assure him, "my back is aching a little that's all," I say and run my hand over my huge swollen stomach, and I get rewarded with a solid kick, our baby boy has been quite active today._

_Gideon immediately reaches for me and starts rubbing my back firmly, I moan "that feels so good" I say._

_We are sitting watching Mark and Steven dancing together, in fact, the dance floor is full but I am too tired and feel too heavy to even consider going out there, but I have promised that as soon as there is a slow dance I will go with Gideon and we can just sway a little. That is all that's keeping me here, as I love dancing with my husband. I glance at Gideon, this wedding hasn't been much fun for him, as he has had to point out numerous times to different people that he is at a wedding of a friend and it is not the time or place to discuss business, when people have approached him to do just that. _

_He had shocked me last night when he revealed the extent of amount of Cross Industries he is selling off, I have known for a while he was planning on downsizing considerably, because he wants to be able to be a hands on father with our son, and Cross Industries is just too demanding for him to be able to do that, I think I should have seen this coming after he redistributed the shares of Vidal Records, but the extent of what he is selling off is so staggering that it boggles the mind._

_The music changes and a slow intimate song comes on and Gideon stands and holds out his hand to me, I grab it and heave myself to my feet and we make our way to the dance floor._

"_Are you alright Angel, are you sure you want to do this?" Gideon asks me and I nod._

"_Yes, I love dancing with you, although I don't think what we will be doing will be anything like dancing, but I needed to get up and move a little," I say._

"_Ok then, let's take things nice and easy, Angel," Gideon says as we sway rather than dance to the music._

_We must look quite comical, as my huge stomach makes it impossible for Gideon to stand too close, so we are practically at arm's length dancing to a song where we should be cheek to cheek. _

_Suddenly a strong pain grips me and I feel like a tight band has clamped my stomach, I gasp and grip Gideon's arms leaning towards him._

"_Eva what is it, are you alright?" he asks anxiously._

_I shake my head, but then it comes again and then I feel it, a sudden gush, and I feel very wet, Gideon leaps back and exclaims loudly, attracting the attention of everyone in the room. Shawna appears from nowhere and through the pain I am feeling, I hear her instructing Gideon._

_"Gideon, call 911 her waters have broken," she says._

_We are now totally the focus of everyone's attention, and Mark and Steven come over, the concern evident on their faces._

"_Are you ok Eva?" Mark asks as he reaches for me._

"_I'm so sorry" I gasp._

_Steven pats my hand, "don't you dare apologise," he says kindly._

_Gideon has now pulled himself together and is taking charge, he is on the phone, issuing rapid instructions then hanging up he wraps his arm around me._

"_Can you walk Angel?" he asks anxiously and I nod._

_Shawna fetches my purse and after apologising profusely once more to Mark and Steven, Gideon leads me slowly away, as we make our way out we get numerous shouts of good luck. Gideon has his arm wrapped protectively around me and we eventually get to the entrance of the hotel when another pain hits me._

"_Stop" I gasp and I grip Gideon tightly as I ride it out. _

_I know that everything that has happened will probably be all over the internet shortly as so many people have witnessed it, but at this moment I really don't care._

_I am still clinging to Gideon riding out the pain and as I look up I see Angus walking quickly towards us and when he reaches us he gets on my other side._

"_Come on lass, let's be having you," he says kindly, and between him and Gideon we make it to the waiting Bentley._

"_How often are the pains coming?" Angus asks and I stare at him blankly._

_"I've not been timing them," I say._

_Angus smiles, "Well the next time you get one we'll start timing them as that will tell us how far along you are," he says._

_He pulls into the traffic as and as he does so I feel another pain grip me, I gasp and try and breathe deeply. I watch Gideon glance at his watch and then look at Angus, we are just arriving at the hospital when another pain comes and once again Gideon looks at his watch._

_"About 15/20 minutes apart," he says and Angus smiles._

_"You've got plenty of time then," he says kindly._

_Dr Marshall is waiting for us as Gideon helps me in, I am helped into a wheelchair and after the booking in process, we are taken to an examination room. I am hooked up to a machine to listen to the baby's heartbeat and Dr Marshall quickly examines me._

"_Ok then you are 4cm so you are doing really well, but you need to get to 10 before you can start pushing."_

"_How long will that take?" Gideon asks._

_Dr Marshall smiles, "How long is a piece of string?" she says, "it can take anything from a few moments to days, but looking at how Eva is progressing, I think we are looking somewhere in the middle – a few hours," she says. _

_She turns her attention to me, "Do you want any pain relief?" she asks._

_I shake my head, "No not yet" I say, I'm coping quite well at the moment and confident I can cope for now._

_"Don't be a hero Eva if you are in pain you have something for it," Gideon says, I can hear the worry in his voice and I look at him, he is trying to be strong but I can see the telltale signs, he is terrified, this is the culmination of months of preparation._

_I reach for him and grasp his hand, "I'm fine, the baby is fine and everything is going to be fine," I say trying to reassure him. I grip his hand as another pain hits me._

_"That's right Eva, remember your breathing," Dr Marshall says encouraging me to work through it._

_We are left alone and I take the opportunity to text Cary and my mom, I know Gideon has sent a message to his family._

_**At the hospital, in labour – this is it!**_

_Cary quickly responds with a typical Cary message._

_**Let me know when you are at the point of threatening to castrate Cross – that, I need to see!**_

_I smile and shake my head and am about to respond when another message comes through from him._

_**Seriously though good luck, Trey and I will drop by later x**_

_A text from my mom comes through next, and I quickly read it._

_**We are on our way to the airport now, Gideon called us and told us.**_

_That one surprises me but I know it really shouldn't, as he had said he would make sure he got my parents here for when I had the baby._

_I pace around the room and as the hours pass I get more and more restless, Gideon does his best, when I get on my knees on the bed trying to relieve the increasing pain, Gideon clambers on beside me and rubs my back._

"_Why don't you have some pain relief?" he asks me for what seems like the twentieth time._

_I shake my head, "No, it's not that bad" I say._

_It is sometime in the early hours of the next morning I feel a change, I feel an enormous pressure building, and the contractions are coming closer together, I am pacing the room once more when a contraction comes and I instinctively squat down. _

_"I need to push," I say._

_Gideon leans past me and presses a button and almost immediately Dr Marshall comes in._

_I look at her "I feel like I really need to push" I say, and Dr Marshall nods and helps me up and leads me towards the bed._

"_Let's take a look," she says. _

_After a quick examination she smiles at me, "Ok Eva, you are fully dilated now, and baby Cross is anxious to be with us so let's get this show on the road."_

_I am now on the bed, and Gideon settles himself beside me wrapping his arm around me, he is tense and worried I can feel it._

_I look up at him "Help me" I say._

_His reaction is instant, he leans down and presses a kiss to my lips, "tell me what to do and I'll do it" he says quietly._

_I look up at him, "I'm scared, I just need your support," I say and then I cringe at how lame that sounds._

_Gideon smiles and increases his grip on me, "You have it Angel" he says confidently, "Now come on let's meet our son," he adds._

_"Ok Eva on the next contraction I need you to push down hard," Dr Marshall says, it's hard to distinguish when the contractions start now as the pain is almost constant, but then I feel it and I push down for all I'm worth. I grip Gideon's hand and go for it._

"_Good, that was brilliant Eva, now keep doing that," I concentrate waiting for the moment to push again, I vaguely hear Dr Marshall giving instructions and counting but I focus totally and push._

_After a while, I lean back, this is exhausting, I look up at Gideon and he pushes my now soaked hair off my face. _

_"Come on Angel you are doing brilliantly, you're nearly there," he says, and I can hear the tremor in his voice._

"_I can't do this" I gasp._

"_You can Eva, you are doing so well just a bit longer," Gideon urges._

_Then I hear a beeping noise my head whips towards the foetal monitor, Dr Marshall also seems concerned by this development._

"_What's happening?" Gideon asks sharply and I feel him gripping me even tighter._

"_Baby Cross's heartbeat is slowing, that is a sign he is in distress, and we need to get him out quickly, he is in the birth canal so it's too late for a C section, so we need to finish this" Dr Marshall says._

_A new wave of determination fills me and I shift slightly, ready to push again as I do so the alarm stops and I panic once more._

"_What's happened?" I ask._

_Dr Marshall smiles, "When you moved that obviously allowed for something to change in there and the heartbeat has now returned to within the normal range, but we need to get him out sooner rather than later," she says._

_I nod and bear down and push for all I'm worth, Dr Marshall is encouraging me, telling me she can see him, I grip Gideon's hand and push again._

_"Ok Eva the baby's head is crowning," Dr Marshall says, I feel Gideon move and then gasp._

_"Christ Eva, I see him, come on Angel you can do this," he says, his voice filled with a mixture of anxiety and awe._

_I push and push for what seems like an eternity then the most overwhelming searing pain almost overwhelms me, I scream out and I feel Gideon pull me close, I dig my nails into his hand as I scream._

"_And there we go," I vaguely hear Dr Marshall say. _

"_Eva look," Gideon whispers and I can hear the emotion in his voice._

_I look up and see Dr Marshall holding a wriggling baby, who is protesting loudly at being born, she holds him up to me and I automatically hold out my arms for him, my baby, my son._

_Dr Marshall wraps him in a towel and after Gideon releases me and steps away to cut the cord with a slightly shaky hand, Dr Marshall hands our son to me._

"_Congratulations, he is a very healthy baby boy, we still need to check and weigh him," she says, but I ignore her and pull my son close, as he is crying angrily._

_"Hey baby boy, calm down," I say as I hold him and run my finger down his cheek, I smile as he moves instinctively towards it._

_Gideon is staring down at the little scrap with a look of complete awe on his face, tears are falling freely down his cheeks and I look up at him and smile, "our son" I say._

_Dr Marshall comes and takes the baby from me to complete the checks and I panic slightly as she walks away with him, I grip Gideon's arm. _

_"Go with him," I say urgently._

_Gideon leaves my side and crosses the room to where the doctor is doing the checks._

_I watch as our son is rewrapped and placed in Gideon's waiting arms. He wraps his big muscular arms around the baby and holds him so gently yet also so protectively. Then he comes back to me and offers him to me._

_"Our son," he says in a choked voice as he lowers him into my arms._

"_Our son" I reply._

_Gideon sits beside me and kisses me tenderly on my temple, "thank you Angel," he says..._

"Penny for them?" I turn and Cary is beside me pulling me from my memories.

"I'm just remembering the day Zac was born, it's hard to think it was a year ago, it's flown past," I say.

Cary smiles and wraps his arm around me, "Will you have any more kids?" he asks.

I nod, "yes, I don't want Zac to grow up an only child... in fact, Gideon and I have started talking about trying for another baby," I say.

We have actually been actively trying for a couple of months now but as yet nothing has happened.

Cary grins, "Daddy Cross eh!" he says.

I look across at my husband again, "He's a wonderful father" I say.

"Well it makes me happy to see you so settled baby girl," he says.

I bump my shoulder into his, "You too, how's the wedding prep coming along?" I ask.

"Nearly done, we are keeping it nice and simple," he says with a grin.

"Best way!" I say as I remember both our weddings.

The wedding on the beach, just Gideon and I, barefoot with the minister, the hotel manager and Angus to witness it, and the slightly more elaborate vow renewal a few months later shortly before our first Christmas together, hosted at one of Gideon's hotels in New York, I was six months pregnant and felt like a whale despite the fact everyone told me I was barely showing even though I was so far along, it had been a simple ceremony, Ireland and Maggie had been bridesmaids and Cary had been a groomsman and once more Angus had stepped up as best man, both our families had attended, mom and dad had flown in from San Diego and Elizabeth and Chris had made an effort to show a united front, despite the fact at that point things were still pretty raw between them, the only other people present were Dr Petersen, Dr Travis, Arash, Mark, Steven, Shawna, Trey, Arnoldo and Manuel, it had been small, intimate and very beautiful.

"I want you to stand with me, will you do that?" Cary says seriously.

"You know I will, you don't even have to ask that," I say.

Our attention is drawn to the loud squeal Zac lets out and he is bouncing up and down and waving his arms wildly, I look to see what has excited him so much and smile as I spot Angus with a toy car in his hands, which has just careered towards him. Zac adores Angus, the kind Scotsman who spent years being a surrogate father to Gideon, is now also an honorary grandfather to Zac.

Zac moves to his knees and then he crawls with alarming speed towards Angus to retrieve the car. Angus sets it down and scoops Zac up and holds him up in the air which sends him into fits of laughter.

"And where do you think you're going laddy?" Angus says to him as he pulls him close.

Zac squeals with laughter once more and reaches out his small arms to Angus and hugs him. Zac continues to play and get passed around and generally be the centre of attention for everyone.

A while later I am picking up some of Zac's toys when I feel familiar warm strong arms around me and then I feel Gideon nuzzle my neck.

"Behave," I whisper to him, as I feel my body automatically respond to his.

Gideon takes the toy from my hand and turns me to face him.

"What if I don't want to," he murmurs in my ear as he nuzzles against me once more.

I glance toward Angus who is approaching, and Gideon releases me, Zac is leaning against Angus's shoulder, but when he sees me he holds out his arms and leans towards me as I hold out my arms to take him.

"Come here you," I say.

Zac's whole demeanour has now changed, he is quiet and now rubbing his eyes all energy falling away from him and Gideon lovingly strokes his head.

"He's getting tired it's been a big day for him," he says, he has barely got the words out his mouth when Zac starts fiddling with his hair and his thumb moves up to his mouth a sure sign he is ready for bed.

Gideon look up and addresses the room, "I think the guest of honour is getting tired and is all partied out!" he says with a grin.

There is a chorus of 'Awww' and as I take him away to get him ready for bed everyone waves to him and says goodnight. Zac looks around the room and gives a little wave back before settling his head on my shoulder.

**oooOOOooo**

"Night night Zachary," I say as place him in his crib after I have bathed him and got him ready for bed.

He stares up at me but his eyelids are drooping, I sense Gideon behind me and he looks down at our son.

"Everyone has gone now," he says as he touches Zac's cheek with his finger.

"Everyone?" I ask.

Gideon nods, "Yeah, it was getting late, and so when Zac crashed and you brought him to bed people started to leave, they all said to say goodnight and that it was a great party," he says.

I nod, glancing at Zac once more I see he is now fast asleep, I check his blankets and then Gideon pulls me close to him and nuzzles my neck, I feel his erection pressing against me.

"Are you up for some more baby making?" he murmurs into my ear, and he thrusts his hips suggestively towards me, I take a deep breath and turn in his arms.

"Oh yes," I say, my breath is deep and ragged, I am desperate for him.

Pulling my hand he leads me from the room, "let's go to bed" he says seductively.

I grin up at him, "Lead the way!"

We make our way to our own bedroom and soon we are undressed and in bed, I can feel Gideon's arousal between us and it's making me needy and hot for him, he can sense this and he wraps me in his arms pulling me close.

"I love you so much" he whispers to me.

"I know," I say and I cup his jaw and press a small kiss to his lip, "I love you too" I add as I pull away.

I hear him groan, "Angel" he moans and he rolls himself on top of me, "let me love you" he whispers.

I run my hands down his back and grasp his ass and tug him closer and within moments we are both where we belong, lost in each other and consumed by each other once more.

**THE END**


End file.
